Brian McAlister discusses how to create a better life by facing self-doubt and pursuing passions with an understanding of the power of intentional action. He recounts personal stories of transformation such as conquering addiction and dispelling limiting beliefs, many from family members. Brian revealed the importance of self discovery, surrounding yourself with positive people and setting goals to stay motivated.

Brian's transformation, from struggling with addiction to finding empowerment and his commitment to seeking guidance from mentors, came together because he took action rather than waiting on the sidelines or for fear to subside. It's not about being perfect in your execution or planning, but instead setting out on a course and correcting along the way as you make progress towards your goals and dreams.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Discover how to transform your life from addiction to recovery and find hope for a better tomorrow.
• Explore the benefits of surrounding yourself with positive people and taking advice from those who are living the life you desire.
• Uncover the importance of resilience in personal transformation and how it can lead to lasting change and growth.
• Learn effective strategies for setting and achieving life goals, empowering you to reach your full potential.
• Harness the power of commitment and action to overcome adversity and thrive in the face of challenges.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:14:33 - Making a Decision and Taking Action

00:18:29 - Dealing with Success and Self-Sabotage

00:25:07 - Overcoming Self-Doubt and Seeking Mentorship

00:31:22 - Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences

00:38:02 - The Power of Asking the Right Questions

00:42:01 - Overcoming Adversity and Finding Gratitude

00:44:04 - Learning from Mentors and Biographies

Connect with Brian McAlister

Websites

https://www.vrsfreedom365.com/

https://www.mymentalhealth.org/

LInkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-nordel-85265246/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/dnordel1

Email

bmcalister@full-recovery.com

Connect with Mike Forrester

Podcast Website

https://LivingFearlessTodayPodcast.com

Coaching Website

https://www.hicoachmike.com/

LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/hicoachmike/

Youtube

https://www.youtube.com/@hicoachmike

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/hicoachmike

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/hicoachmike

Well, hello and welcome back, my friend.

Man, today I'm joined by Brian McAlister and Brian has just an amazing story of

transformation showing us that where we're at is not where we're stuck.

That's not what we're relegated to.

Instead, you're going to hear from Brian's story that he went from

addiction to transformation, helping other people to find the freedom that

he's experiencing in his own life.

So that is available to each of us.

And I hope from Brian's story today that you're going to see that.

Hey, yeah, that path is there for you as well, and it's a matter of plugging

in, taking that step and not giving up.

Brian's got resiliency in a story, finding self worth, his identity and,

and obviously his purpose, right?

Because he's investing in other people at this point now that he has found that

healthy path and the practice for himself.

So Brian, how are you doing today?

My friend?

I'm doing excellent.

Excellent.

Thanks for having me on Mike.

Absolutely.

It's a pleasure.

And I'm just from our, our conversation that we've had before.

And you and I see a lot of the similarities and, and love giving

to encourage others that it's like, you know, You're not stuck

and that there is more out there.

It's a matter of putting in the work and that, you know, continuing that work.

Right.

So I appreciate it, my friend.

Let's, let's jump in and start on like, what does life look like for you today

on the professional side of things?

Uh, professionally, I'm the CEO of, uh, uh, of a, uh,

Software company that develops mental health software for people with trauma,

anxiety, PTSD, and substance use disorder.

I'm the founder and CEO of the Full Recovery Wellness Center, which was, uh, I

closed it maybe, Maybe six months ago, it was open for about 15 years and it was a

licensed treatment facility in New Jersey.

And they really dealt mostly with, uh, first responders.

There's a lot of first responders, you know, they get injured on the job, they

get exposed to medication and things like that, and they wind up with the

same problems as everybody else does.

Um, and then, uh, prior to that, I was the, uh, leader of, of, of, uh,

One of the top people in a fortune, not 100 fortune 10 company that,

uh, I ran 110 stores for one of the biggest retailers in the country.

I started as a, uh, unloading trucks for them.

And I wound up in that position after a relatively short period of time.

And like right now, my professional life is good.

I have choices, you know, I'm, I'm not dealing with financial scarcity.

I'm not dealing with, uh, personal challenges with my family, with my spouse.

And, um, I'm, I'm, I'm in a good place.

I'm in a good place.

And my whole goal is to, uh, To give back and show people how, how I pulled

it off, how a guy like me was, if I can do it, anybody can do it just takes

time, effort, plan, action, and the work, you said it in the beginning.

A lot of hard work.

Yeah.

It's that hard work and like a cumulative amount of hard work.

I mean, I, at this point, Brian, I'm like, , we're, we're still, you know, in process.

Yep.

And, uh, still making end roads, you know.

It's almost like things unfold as more and more work, you

know, that that is put into it.

New things surface that I couldn't see before.

Um, and so it's like those layers are always there to be worked on.

But man, the benefits from the work, um, do this.

It's just unbelievable.

And I can't imagine going back and I'm sure that's the same for you, Brian.

No, you know, and what's lucky is I have, I look at it like I

have two lives for the price of one.

I know that whole dark side of myself.

I know the whole struggle, the, the feeling less than the, you know,

the limited vision of the future.

And I know this side, you know, so I, I know I feel that's a blessing.

So now we'll add hard living.

I did, I could put to good use.

Yeah.

exactly.

All the, all the knocks that we got on the way, uh, to where we are now,

. Brian McAlister: Exactly.

Well, let's jump over to the personal side.

What does life look like personally?

Um, personally, I'm, I'm married to the same woman

for 47 years, you know, like, uh, she's the love of my life.

Uh, we got married.

Teenagers and, uh, you know, we took off.

I told her when I married her, I was going to take her on

the adventure of a lifetime.

I guarantee I filled that bill.

You know, we, uh, we lived all over the country.

We jumped out of Harley and took off.

You know, we lived that type of lifestyle, lived in a tent.

Camped out and all that.

And, you know, she's the love of my life and I'm, I'm blessed.

I have a son who, uh, lives in Manhattan.

He's, uh, runs his own business.

You know, he's doing very well for himself.

Uh, my personal life is I, I do still belong to a 12 step program, which is,

uh, something that keeps me grounded and allows me to, to, uh, contribute

beyond business, contributing beyond, uh, the things I do for a living.

And it involves really just giving back.

If somebody wasn't there when I crawled into the 12 step rooms way

back when I wouldn't be sitting here.

So I, I owe, I owe a debt.

I can never repay.

Yeah, I think it's keeping that perspective and not losing

sight of like our origins kind of keeps us humble, but also gives us like that,

resiliency and perspective, right.

To continue on without, um, you know, sliding back into.

Old habits, old beliefs, and, uh, getting back into those ruts that,

that were comfortable at one time.

And they're there.

You know, I've been, I've been, uh, away from drugs and alcohol for 33 years.

I'm sober.

August 2nd, if I don't get high and I don't die, I'll have 34 years

and, uh, you know, life happens.

I mean, I've lost all types of people.

My dad's got severe dementia.

He's 91 years old.

You know, so like all these things happen, but the thing is, because I got better,

I'm able to deal with them, you know, I'm able to deal with life on life's

terms and that's really the gift, you know, and everybody can get this gift.

It's out there.

Yeah.

And that is such like a powerful perspective, Brian, like.

I look at things that are going on right now and have for like the last five years

with, you know, parents and, and family.

And just like you're talking about dementia with your dad, right?

Man, Brian, before I would have run for the hills.

I would have medicated.

I would have.

Avoided or just tried to act ignorant of the whole situation to cope with it.

Whereas now it's like I can walk through it.

I can address it and help being part of the solution to the situation

instead of Almost adding like napalm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like it's where NATO going through everybody's life, you know what I mean?

Bouncing off the bumpers of life.

That's kind of what I did for many years.

And, uh, you know, it, it, it is really true.

I'm sure you heard that acronym for fear, you know, false evidence appears real.

You know, I like the one that says face everything and recover, you know, so

you stand up, you man up, you do the right thing, you take the right action.

And when you do, that's all you can do.

Yeah.

You know, you can't, you know, I, I can't change life or everybody

around me, but I can't change how I react to all these situations, you

know, and I'd rather be part of the solution than part of the problem.

A hundred percent.

And I think it was almost like you're talking about not being

able to change people around you.

And I think that was like an excuse or a way out was trying

to change the people around me.

And making my changes contingent upon their changes.

Like when my wife does this, then I'll do that.

No surprise that stuff never happened.

So I never changed.

And it wasn't until I took that responsibility that then

things began to change for me.

It was, is that something like you've experienced and seen as well?

And you know, like if I, you know, if I have enough money, you

know, if I have enough, you know, uh, success, if I have whatever, whatever

I was looking for in the future, you know, people are always hoping life

will get better, but most people aren't living the life they're hoping for.

You know what I mean?

You've got to take action, intelligent, daily, constructive action.

Like for me, you know, I realized once I put the plug in the jug and

stopped doing drugs and all these other things that my life was a mess.

I had spent two decades, uh, literally tearing it up.

And, you know, I decided then that, you know, I'm an adult.

I can have, I used to blame my family.

There was a lot of alcoholism and a lot of different things in my, in my

past that, uh, you know, I, I could use as excuses as to why I had not

been successful up to that point.

I didn't have an education.

I didn't go to college, you know, and I, I just had to throw that stuff away.

I realized I'm a man, I'm an adult.

I can choose how I want to respond to life.

I can choose what I want to do and take daily action.

It's just daily steps.

To get to where I want to be consistent, but, you know, I also had to ask myself

better questions, you know, like, instead of like, why is this happening to me?

How come I never get a break?

All those weak minded questions.

I used to live on and, and, and justify, you know, today

I ask myself better questions.

Like instead of someday I'll fall in love, someday I'll have more money.

So today is someday.

You know, what am I waiting for?

Yeah, this, this isn't a dress rehearsal.

This is the one life I get.

So I had to make some decisions and take responsibility from that, uh,

grew an incredible life and, and the thing is, it didn't happen overnight.

It happened over an extended period of time, uh, making

adjustments along the way.

And, uh, it's really been, been exciting.

One thing I did have though, I did have the ability to take action.

A lot of people get stuck in the fear.

Like a lot of times procrastination is really masking fear.

You know, they're not moving forward because deep down somewhere hidden

in their psyche, they're, they're afraid that they're not going to

be able to pull it off, you know?

So I started looking at things like, uh, Like the scientist looks at an

experiment, I'm just getting a result.

Either I'm getting the result I want, or I'm getting another result.

But if I learn something, how can I look at it?

Like I was a failure.

And if I looked at things that I wasn't a failure, it

encouraged me to take more action.

So like just little, little things like that, the way I looked at life

really made a major, major difference.

Do you think like we all have the ability to take action or

most like the permission to take action, but we're just making the wrong choice

or the repeated choice that we've made in the past that still gives us the

same unhealthy or undesired results.

I, I do, you know, and I'll, I'll, I'll go with this.

Like I'm, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, you know, so that, that was

my MO when things were good, I ran to that when things were bad, I ran to that.

That was my excuse.

And I used that as an excuse why I had not been able to really have a quality

life, you know, up to that point.

And, you know, for me.

The same skillset that I used to keep myself down, the same skillset that I

used to drive myself into the gutter when repurposed is what pushed me up to the

mountaintop and I'll give you an example.

When I wanted drugs, I knew what commitment was.

I risked my health, my life, my family, my money, my freedom, anything, and

I was going to get what I wanted.

That is really, uh, a commitment that most people cannot muster, you know?

So I took that skillset and I combined it with the moral and ethical standards

needed to stay alcohol and drug free.

And I made a decision.

I wrote out what my dreams were, what my goals were, what, what I wanted to have

to do, to own, to be in life, you know, and, and then rather than this, Every

time I said, how am I gonna do this?

I have no education, I would get depressed.

So instead, I gave myself reasons why I was gonna do it.

'cause I owed it to my, my family for the crappy life I had given them.

Because I didn't wanna drop dead, not fulfill my purpose.

I just made a long list of stuff and the reasons why gave me the stamina

to keep pushing forward when, when things got tough, because I'm gonna

tell everybody, they will get tough.

But it's certainly worth it.

Yeah.

Now, when you've come from a place of, you know, like low self worth,

the doubt, everything like negative.

That your perspective and view is, is in that same vein, how do

you step into dreaming, right?

If somebody came up to you and said, Brian, this is where my

life is at, you know, I don't know how I'm going to change.

You talked about, you know, having, having that dream, that vision to kind of carry

you through the challenge and the struggle that you faced and keep you on track.

How do you help somebody to be able to dream when.

They haven't dreamt in a while and those dreams have been just kind of cast aside

by the experiences and the, the addiction, the life that has been lived, so to speak.

Well, you know, first thing is you have to make a decision

and not a promise, not a meandering.

Oh yeah, I'd like to, it's gotta be decision.

And, you know, the root word.

Of, uh, decision is a Latin word and it means to cut away.

I had a cut away from my past.

100 percent half measures get you nothing.

You know, I had to be all in, like I said, if I needed to cop and I needed

something like that, I was all in, you know, I took that same deal and, and

I, I decided, and I made my, my dreams and my goal big enough to be inspiring.

You know what I mean?

Like, I know there was steps along the way that had to, to take place,

but I, you know, getting a job, making minimum wage certainly wasn't

going to get my, my juices flowing.

I'll speak for myself again.

I'm an addict.

I like more.

I'm addicted to more, you know?

So how can I use it?

So I made some really huge, huge goals, you know?

And then, um, I got my, I got that behind me and, you know, I started writing

things out like really simple stuff.

A You know, I, I'll tell you nothing as, as an, as an addict alcoholic.

I thought I was an atheist, you know, I had a lot of bad experiences as, as

a child with, with organized religion.

So, you know, I realized that, you know, there's a spiritual component

to this world we're living in.

And I, I had to, I had to figure out something that works for me.

So when I wrote out my, my affirmations and what I, what I

was going to do to change every day, I put them on my fingertips.

I used the word God.

That's just what I used because I needed to get into the flow.

I needed all the help I could get.

I said, God wants me sober.

God wants me happy.

God wants me abundantly wealthy.

God wants me spiritually fit and God wants me to help others.

Then I go boom.

And that was my, that was my anchor.

And I just got into it over and over, you know, I figure I convinced myself

that ruining my life was, was a party.

I called it partying, you know, and, uh, if I can convince myself of that, I

figured I had to rewrite this software in my head, so I started that simple.

And, uh, that's where, that's where I began.

I got, I got a job working for minimum wage.

Unloading trucks on the dock of a retailer, you know, when I first got

sober, and it's funny, I was there doing this and like, I was raised with a, a

limited view of self, like, you know, if you can get a good, a good job and

hang on to it, you know, you know, maybe a union job or something, you know,

don't ever leave, you know, that's it.

I'm thinking like.

You know, I want more than that.

And, uh, and that's what I did.

So I looked around on that dock and I seen guys telling me what hours I was going

to work, how much money I was going to make, how my family was going to live.

I'm thinking I should have these guys in my back pocket.

They're really not that bright, you know?

So I started looking at it like that.

And, uh, and I started taking action on a daily basis to see how I can improve

my life and the life of my family.

You took personal action.

You didn't wait to receive something from somebody else, you figured out what you

wanted and then started taking action and took like personal accountability

and responsibility for things, right?

Exactly.

Most people try to undermine somebody in authority or their boss or this, I did

just the opposite, you know, I, I went to the guy who was the lead man on the

dock, you know, and I said, I'm probably sober six months, you know, I said,

you seem to know what's going on here.

You know what I mean?

I said, how do you get ahead in this company?

And he, he told me, I said, well, I'll make you a deal.

I said, you, you teach me what you know.

I said, and I delegate as much of this work to me as you can.

And then do the same thing with your boss.

And what happened was he started getting promoted as I made him look good.

And then he would pull me up behind him.

And he would get promoted and he pulled me up behind him.

I made a deal with him.

And then he hit the point where he was no longer comfortable,

which happens to a lot of us.

All of a sudden things are going good.

We still start self sabotaging.

I'm capable of that too.

Like I've never been this successful for it.

And I'm doing subconsciously.

I start making decisions that turn people and situations against me.

I'm not really comfortable with all that success.

So this man did that and I went right past him.

You know, I mean, like I said, and I wound up having an incredible career

with this company, which changed my life.

The further up I went, the more people I was exposed to, who can mentor me

and show me things I didn't know.

People who think and act differently than I, people who were already

achieving the results I was trying to get is the easiest way to get there.

So what was different when you look at the, the gentleman that

was your supervisor in the beginning, what's the difference between his journey

and how he was acting versus, you know, like your journey and how you were

acting and thinking, what was different between the two of you that caused you?

Him to, you know, self sabotage and remove himself from the ladder

or the way he was climbing it.

And you kept going

Again, like, you know, we all have experiences we

can draw mine was I'm an addict.

I'm an alcoholic So it's really a disease of you know, too much is never enough.

You know, I It's a disease of more so I use that God given

trait to, to move me forward.

He hit a point where it was enough.

You know, he's working good hours.

He was making decent money.

He didn't want to go too high where he, his responsibilities

were uncomfortable for him.

For me, I, like I told you, I really, I looked at it like I couldn't fail.

I could just get a result.

So as I kept going up the ladder, I started meeting people.

I mean, That were like spectacularly successful billionaires, you know,

who own these companies and stuff.

And it's funny because when I, you know, when I left that company, you

know, I, I opened a couple of my own businesses and I became an entrepreneur

because I'd done very well built a beautiful home, all the things.

You know that, you know, I lived in a tent with my wife one time for about

six months, I have wandered into the Salvation Army when I was younger and

had a hot dog, you know what I mean?

So like I have all these experiences um, and You know, when, when I, I,

I got to the point where my life was looking great and my, my sister

passed away from a drug overdose.

And you know, when that happened, you know, it really made me

step back and look at my life.

Like I got sober, I changed, I changed everything.

An old man told me when I got sober, Brian, you got to change one thing.

I said, what's that?

He said, everything.

He goes, whatever you're thinking, you should probably do just the opposite.

You're pretty screwed up.

You know what I mean?

So I did that, you know, and it made me reflect on a lot of things.

And that's when, uh, the economy was tanking right after like 2005, 2006.

And you know, like everybody else, I lost a lot of my money

and I didn't drink it away.

I didn't drug it away.

I didn't gamble it away.

I just lost it.

It was the economy tank.

So I didn't have control over that, but I did have control of how I react.

So I took all the experiences, my sister passing.

Uh, all the, the, the heartache in the economy, all the things I saw,

and I started laughing at one and watching the TV, watching my stocks

go like this, you know what I mean?

Down.

I started laughing, whoever thought I'd have stock, you know what I mean?

Who, who, whoever thought I'd, I'd all, lend me all this

money, you know what I mean?

To buy all these houses and stuff.

So, uh, I decided, you know, what if it was me instead of my

sister who passed away that day?

And what, what, what would I regret taking into eternity that I didn't do?

And I came up with write a book, you know, I came up with telling somebody else how

I pulled this off, how a guy like me, you know, went from, from a biker drug

addict to, you know, uh, a corporate.

You know, success and, uh, and then I, of course, the first thing that popped

in my head is I can't write a book.

You know, I barely get out of high school, you know, like

who, who are you to do that?

Then I realized, you know, who am I not to do that?

Other people have done it.

If other people have accomplished this, why can't I?

And I told you that action thing.

So that day I took an action.

I took a pad and a paper, and I wrote one line on that pad and paper.

From that, Came, uh, my best selling book, Full Recovery, and, you

know, it's amazing how that works.

And, you know, the more people told me, I, you know, you'll let, you

know, it's like when I got sober, you'll be drinking in a week.

Like my friends would tell me like, wrong guy.

I stayed sober out of spite.

You know, I hate to be told.

I can't do something, you know, so the more they told me I wouldn't do good

with the book, the more I pushed it.

From there came a halfway house and there came a treatment

center, licensed facility.

I had a medical facility and all the doctors are working for me.

It's crazy how life works, but the difference with me and the guy who

stopped going up the ladder on, on the shipping dock for that company

was I, I see where life is going.

Yeah.

I asked the right questions.

Is this something that's that I'm really interested in?

Is this something that motivates me?

Is this something that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning?

And if I come up with the right answers then I start taking action.

And from there, now we have a software company doing mental health software,

you know, so like who the hell knows where life's going to take you.

Don't be afraid.

Don't limit yourself.

So when those thoughts, I mean, Bill, we've all had them where

it's like, I, you know, writing the book.

You looked at it and said, I can't do it because of we've all had

those for different things that have come up opportunities, you

know, a challenge that we're facing.

And it's like, We disqualify ourselves, you know, right out of the gates.

Yep.

What are you doing to strengthen yourself to have that occur less?

Cause you've talked about being intentional about how

you see it and taking action.

Does that stuff in and of itself kind of set you up for success in, um,

not having those, you know, thoughts and beliefs pop up or is there

something else that you do as well?

The world's libraries are just full of mentors

who are more than had success.

You know, always leaves clues on what they did, how they did it.

And, you know, I, I need inspiration.

You know, I, I can do it as much as I can myself, but the idea is I need to pump

good stuff in my head because naturally I go there, I was raised with limitation.

It's very deep in my subconscious, you know, I'm not good enough,

smart enough, talented enough.

You know, I'm an alcoholic, I'm an addict.

You don't have the education.

I can go on and on and on and on.

Before you know it, I'm circling the drain.

I'm going down, you know what I mean?

And I, I got to interrupt that thinking pattern.

That's why I put those little affirmations on my fingertips just

to interrupt that, you know, I'm sober, I'm happy, I'm wealthy.

I'm, you know, I mean, all these good things.

I want to help other people.

And most of us have average intelligence, you know, like it's just what we do

with that, it's how we react to life's challenges, not, uh, that we can't do it.

I found too, that people will always help you, not always, some people are

rotten, they want to see you stay down, you know, that's the people I avoid,

I jealously guard what I allow in my head, I jealously guard who I associate

with, you know, I want to be around people, if I'm the smartest guy in

the room, I better get another room.

I want people to tell me, tell me what, you know, how did you do it?

And most people when asked sincerely, will, help you.

You look what you're doing, Mike, you know, same thing out there, you

know, like I want to see somebody else have all the joy and abundance that

I've been able to manage in my life.

Yeah, I think passing along that belief that it's available

and possible for somebody else is, is like the biggest first step, right?

Yes.

And in what we're doing, because once that belief is there and we can see

that from, from your journey is you got the belief you held onto it, you took

action and that creates the momentum, uh, to do To continue building the

confidence, the energy, the belief, um, doesn't mean it's going to be perfect,

you know, I think of like the whole thing of progress, not perfection.

We're not, we're not searching for perfection.

We're just looking for improvement along the way.

This is an ongoing journey and the weight of trying to be perfect isn't there.

It's removed because none of us are perfect.

So we're all equally qualified for the journey.

And, you know, like advising me to have Rolling

Stones song, they'll never make a saying to me, you know what I mean?

That's the way it goes, you know, like be yourself.

Everybody else is taken.

And what I mean by that is, you know, we all have gifts and talents and

abilities that are natural to us.

Things, things that make us feel good about being us.

And that's where you should go like I, I worked with a guy,

uh, when I say work with him, he was a client of mine and he was.

You know, he, he came from a very wealthy background and yeah, I mean, extraordinary

trust fund, big super wealth.

And his father was a self made man, so to speak, who was in the financial arena.

And to the father, everything, anything that didn't really stick

with the financial realm, like you were in a wall street guy, if you

weren't a banker, you were a failure, you had to make lots of money.

So this gentleman, his, his background or his, His, his gifts would,

would, would make him feel good.

He liked sports, he liked writing, he liked, you know,

creativity, things like this.

And his father belittled him to the point where he was always going to

be a loser if he went after that.

And he wound up becoming a heroin addict at like 23.

And he was 52 when I met him, I said, you're the longest living heroin addict

in America next to Keith Richards.

You know, you, you got this thing.

So no, you know, but we, we went through the deal and I asked him

like, what would you do for free?

Like, what do you like to do?

Like most of us never asked those questions and you know, he

talked about sports and racing.

Well, I'd like what you do if you knew you couldn't fail.

You know, he says, well, I like to be shortstop on the Yankees.

I said, well, you're 52 year, a heroin addict, and you probably

couldn't play ball when you're a kid, but that gives you a clue.

You like, you like sports.

You like talking about sports.

How can we use that?

You know, what would he, I asked him, he said, well, you know, I

said, well, why sports, uh, you could coach a little league team.

You could be a sports writer.

You could, you know, the, you know, You could sell sports memorabilia,

something that you enjoy doing that makes you feel good about being you.

I read a thing about Kenny Rogers, you know, the musician years ago.

And somebody asked him, you know, your family must've been an interviewer

really surprised at your success.

And he says, no, he goes, well, what do you mean?

He goes, well, when I was a kid talking about what I wanted to

be, when I grow up, my, my mother asked me, what do you want to do?

You know what I mean?

I said, I don't know.

She goes, what do you enjoy doing?

Well, I enjoy playing guitar and singing.

She says, well, that's what you should do for a living.

You'll never have to work a day in your life.

And I was thinking, boy, how, how much wisdom is that instead of being told

to do something that isn't in you.

We all have gifts, like the software I developed, for example, that all, it's

all about asking the right questions.

Everybody's answers are different, but it gets you to the core of who you are.

You know what I mean?

And what you want to do, Socrates said it, right?

You know, man know thyself and you'll know the universe and the gods, you know,

but he'll know what makes you feel good.

And that's really the key.

And unfortunately, most of us are going through life pretending to

be something we're really not.

How do you build that?

Success around him.

Are you putting him in a community where it like helps him to keep that vision

in front of him and encourage him?

Because sometimes the family and friends that we have around us aren't healthy

themselves and their guidance and advice.

Can put us on the wrong path.

How are you setting that guy up for like success with the sports?

Well, that's, that's really what my books and, and what

the software is all about doing.

And it's something that it get, we give people permission.

To be themselves, we give them permission to, to, uh, explore beyond

their, their present limited status.

And that's really what it's all about.

And I'll, I'll share some personal experience.

Like I'm from a long line of Irish Catholic alcoholics, you know,

birds, flies, fish, swim, we drank, you know, that's what we did.

You know, I never thought anything about it.

It just kind of the way things were.

And, you know, like, I was given a lot of advice by a lot of people

and it was all limitation advice.

Like I said earlier, like, you know, with the type of work I was going to

do, the type of job I could have, the type of life I could live, you know,

and even the way I acted and reacted to life, you know, and I realize now

that a lot of it was bad advice and I accepted it along the way because, you

know, it was given by people who love me.

And the thing is, it wasn't good advice and I had to have the courage

and I mean that to break out when I got sober, my, my dad and me, we

used to drink, you know what I mean?

And he, he, uh, he was not real thrilled, you know, he was kind of ashamed that I

went and, you know, I had to go into a detox and all this other stuff and he's

like shaking his head at me, you know?

It's funny though, the way things work, I went on my own, I went my

own way and I did my own thing and had all these incredible experiences.

And when he was 66, the age I am right now, he called me one

day and he says he was dying, he was drinking himself to death.

And I was like, then I was probably in my forties and he said,

uh, you seem relatively happy.

What are you doing?

And I told him what I was doing.

He's 91 now.

He is, he's got a problem with dementia, but until he was in his late

eighties, he got another 25 years of life because he did the same thing

I did and he got the same result.

I'll give you another example.

I had a guy I worked with, he was, he was arrested and he was put

in the psych ward and he, uh, he had all kinds of kinds of issues.

And when he got out, you know, he, we got him sober and I see him,

he's reading like a book a day.

I've never seen anybody read like this.

I said to him, I said, what's your story?

Like, you seem, seem pretty bright.

He says, I should be bright.

I've got a.

A master's from the London School of Economics.

I'm like, really?

Well, what are you doing?

You know, what are you doing in the psych ward?

We started talking.

So, uh, you know, he started telling me, I said, well, what

would you do if you could succeed?

What do you want from life?

He says, well, I want, uh, uh, a spouse.

Somebody of a real, a real loving relationship.

I said, that's great.

What's your track record?

He's already been, he's like 30, he's been divorced twice.

I said, well, you know, who do you talk to about that?

He said, my mother, my mother loves me.

She always has my best interest at heart.

I said, what's her deal?

She's divorced four times.

I said, okay.

So, you know, this is where you're getting advice from like your dopey

friend, your mother, whatever.

So then I said, well, what about, what about work?

You know, I know you're like this financial whiz, you're working on

wall street and all this stuff.

You know, you're in the nut house.

He says, uh, he says, I said, what do you like about your job?

He says, nothing.

I hate it.

I said, well, what are you doing?

He goes, well, you know, I was brought up that you have to be on

wall street to make all this money.

I said, well, who do you talk to about that?

Guess who?

My mother, you know what I mean?

My mother loves me and she wants my best.

And so finally I said, again, well, what's, what's your mother's history?

What does she do?

She's a landscaper.

It's like, okay.

I said, I see a little pattern going here.

Like you're asking advice from somebody who's not getting the results.

You want, I said, your mother, you know, if you want to be a landscaper and be

divorced four times, keep talking to her, but if you want to talk, doesn't mean

you don't have to, you still love her.

She's still your mother, but you might want to find somebody else to

emulate who's already achieved in the result and save a lot of steps.

I can choose.

What actions I'm going to take doesn't mean I have to cut loose.

My family doesn't mean I have to, you know, disavow all my friends.

It just means if they're not getting the results I want, why am I asking?

It's like trying to get sober for me, but a guy who's still

drinking, you know what I mean?

It wouldn't have worked out.

Well, I'd be buying me a beer

yeah.

The people that we take advice from, it's like, Um, we really need to be

intentional and cognizant of where they're at and, uh, use that as the track

record for, you know, if we can listen to the advice, but taking action on their

advice is a completely different thing.

Like you were talking about the mom being divorced, you know, four times,

there's something missing there or, you know, a hurt that, uh, is just causing.

Same pattern to repeat.

And uh, it can be the same thing like with finances or, you know, health

habits, whatever the case may be.

Career.

Yep.

Um, you know, like you said, look for somebody that, uh, is, is in

the place you want to be and take advice from the right people.

Exactly.

And

I had to learn that lesson the hard way as well, Brian.

Yeah.

We all have, you know, but the thing is, you know, do what they

did and you'll get what they got.

You know, as the old saying, and that's the deal, like, you're not, if you don't

like what they're getting, you know, why, why are you taking their advice?

Doesn't mean, like I said, you don't have a relationship, you don't love them,

but you know, it's not fitting into what you're trying to accomplish, you know?

So I still do that.

With the software that you've designed, Brian, um, like how it's

helping people to, you know, change and get the results and stay on that path.

How does the software, um, work alongside of me and, and how do I, you know, put

in my goals or, you know, kind of give it the, the target that I'm going for.

It's pretty incredible stuff.

It's a, it's video driven.

So, you know, and it's completely searchable.

It's got goal setting workshops.

It's got all types of, uh, content, you know, on life, on finances, on

love, on relationships, on you name it, on sobriety, on recovery, on, you

know, uh, depression, you, you name it.

It's, it's really, there's nothing like it.

And I'm pretty proud of it, as you can tell.

And the deal is it asks the right questions.

Ask better questions, you'll get better answers, you know, so the, everybody's

answers are going to be different and the idea is like, if you read a lot

of self help books, you know, you put it down, you liked it, it was good.

Now, everything that you do in this every day is, it's

actionable, you know what I mean?

It's not, it's not just giving you the answers, it's making you come up with what

fits for your needs and it's actionable.

It gives you the next step, you know, for me, for example, you know, when I, when I

came out of treatment, I was unemployable.

I really was, I was.

I didn't work for a long time.

I was banged up.

I couldn't think.

I couldn't read.

I was so banged up that the words would just move around the paper.

So, you know, I, I wound up, uh, I wound up getting a job at this place because I,

I used to look at it like a drug addict.

I wouldn't leave till I got what I wanted.

I kept going down there.

You know, I wrote a resume, something so silly for like a little

minimum wage job on loading trucks.

And they almost fell over like nobody's ever handed a resume

or something like this before.

But I wanted to separate myself from, from the pack.

I wanted to stand out.

I wanted to, uh, able to show that I had initiative, you know, so like

simple things like that, you know, and, and we give you all these,

all these ways of getting, figuring out what you want, what you're good

at, what's been holding you back.

We give you the whys, and then we give you steps you could take to move it forward.

It's almost Question, answer, question, answer.

And then it all goes into your, your full recovery action plan.

So you have step by step, you'll have a full year's worth of action steps to

move you towards whatever your goals are.

Our goal is you should have at least one life altering project by the time

you're done going through this process.

And you can do it over and over again.

Like, look at me.

I went from, from a retail You know, business to, you know, to writing books.

I had a real estate investment company that I ran for years.

I started a construction.

I was a licensed builder, you know, all these things boost.

Like when I get bored, like all of a sudden I reached my goal, you know,

like rather than it stick with it forever, I just met set a bigger goal.

You know, and I, and I started getting excited because I know I'm going to

learn something new, like I know nothing about software yet I own a software

company, you know, so it's, it's kind of interesting the way life works and

we all have that in us, every one of us.

And, you know, it's just having the courage.

To, to just take that step.

You know, they, they say fail forward fast.

If you fail, who cares?

Just keep moving ahead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's, it's not about, like we talked about earlier, being perfect.

It's about continuing to challenge and, and move forward and Yeah.

Keep at it being consistent.

It's, I, I think we give too much credit to it being like a

big event when it's the small.

Micro decisions and actions that we take on a daily basis that

really kind of create that compound effect in the life that in, in

our life that we're looking for.

Sure.

If you improve 1 percent a day at the end of the year, how many thousands

of percent would you improve?

You know, and the thing is not even improving, you know, if it's

not fun, if you, if life isn't fun, you're not doing it right.

You know, you really not, it should be a game.

You can win and enjoy.

And, and it, you know, I have so much to be blessed and

thankful for and grateful for.

I can't even put it into words, you know, I spent, you know, I, I totaled

my Harley one time and it took the helicopter ride in and you know, I,

I, I had plates and screws and pins.

I broke my back.

It took me years to get off of crutches.

I had to learn how to walk, traumatic brain injury, the

whole night, you name it.

I broke it.

Evil can evil type accident.

And, uh, the first thing I did was.

Get out of my hospital bed, throw my crutches over the railing, hop down the,

uh, the stairs and walk a mile to the bar in 110 degree Phoenix heat to get a drink.

You know, it wasn't the, it wasn't the alcohol or drug that did it.

It was just a bad break that could happen to anybody, you know?

So like I had to make sure that I changed, like the guy told me one thing.

Everything, the way I looked at life had to change.

And the first thing was finding people who got the results I wanted

and asking them how they did it.

And people who weren't in that wheelhouse, I had a friendly, no, no

problem, just, but I can't go there.

I have limited time at 24 hours in a day and how I use that time

to a great extent will affect the type of life I'm going to live.

Yeah.

And I think in that story, you've shown how much strength and power and

resiliency we have just in who we are.

I mean, if you're like sitting there, Hey, I'm broken up, but yet I'm, I'm able to

go to the bar to get something I want.

It's the power of what you're talking After right, that goal,

because it could be anything else that moves you to do that as well.

It's just in that situation was the alcohol, um, you know, pulling you there.

Yeah.

So you talked about books, like being mentors, libraries being full of mentors.

When you look back, who are like, You know, two or three of those mentors,

you know, that, that wrote out, um, you know, their thoughts in, in books

that helped you the most along the way.

You know, I read a lot of biographies like, like Henry

Ford, uh, was, was pretty interesting.

And Henry Ford had one, one situation where he was expanding

his company and he failed.

A bunch of times, you know that, right?

He didn't just start out banging out the assembly line.

He actually went under a few times trying to get this thing going.

So like, instead of looking at the failure, he rewrote it and

went back to the drawing board.

So I'll try something else.

That's really the key to it.

He had a deal where it, you know, he was going to expand

his plan for the first time.

So he didn't know where to get people.

This was a new industry.

Nobody ever did it.

So he, he asked his, uh, you The managers give, send me up a hundred people from the

floor who are the best workers we have.

So he made the offer to, to, you know, uh, if you want to take some

classes at night, we're not going to pay you, but if you want to take,

we're going to put you in management.

You'll be able to make more money, a better hour.

He went through the whole deal.

I'll give you 24 hours to make your mind up.

So he figured he'd let them go home and talk to their, to their spouses.

The next day he was shocked.

Only a handful of guys took it.

Everybody else didn't take it.

They were afraid to move forward.

They had a decent job.

The third day, you know, so the 24 hours were up the third day, half of them

came back, says, well, I rethought it and, uh, I, I, maybe I'll take that job.

And none of them would he take, he says, I found people that when given all

the right information, they can't make commitments, you know, and that, and

they, they're afraid to move forward.

When the going gets tough, they'll be the first to run,

go back to the assembly line.

Success leaves clues, you know, uh, you know, of course, you know, think and

grow rich and some of the classics like that from Napoleon Hill are really good.

You read my book, full recovery, you know, and same deal.

It's that type of, that type of a book.

And I, uh, I believe, I believe that everybody with, with

this average intelligence and the ability to take action.

And follows the step by step stuff that I, I lay out.

There's no way you can't improve your life.

You can get what you want.

You know, another thing is a lot of people, they say they want something

and they really don't want it at all.

Like, you know, like you say, like, well, I wanted to be in business for myself.

You got to ask yourself the question, why?

So it's, do I think I'm going to get prestige?

Do, do I want to, you know, I think I can get more money.

You know, what, what, why do you want it?

I want to have children.

Well, why do you want kids?

You want love?

Do you want to give it to your friends?

Have kids.

Do you want to continue on your legacy, your, your bloodline?

Why?

Because a lot of times we say we want something, but we

really don't want it at all.

Somebody else told us like the guy in the finance, that's what we should have.

You know?

So the part of the process is getting down to it.

Yeah.

What do you want?

Why do you want it?

How are you going to lay out your game playing to get it?

And then just start taking daily small steps towards achieving your goal.

Eventually they'll get there.

I know it.

I do it all the time.

Yeah.

I love the fact, Brian, that there's that common thread again of a commitment,

you know, that you've talked about, man, it was a commitment that I.

I made and I stuck with it and got the change that I was looking for, um,

especially over the long haul, um, you know, seeing where things have gone

from where they were to where they are now, Brian, how can guys reach out to

you and connect outside of his podcast?

Um, you can reach out to me at either.

VRS for virtual recovery system.

That's our thing.

Uh, freedom three 65.

com

we started a little nonprofit, it's the same type of stuff that we talked about.

Plus it's got some post traumatic stress stuff was a lot of our

veterans are struggling and you could download it for free.

If you got a couple of bucks, throw it in there because it

allows us to keep giving it away.

It's a nonprofit and it's tax deductible, but you go to my mental health.

org and you can reach me there.

And if not, you could also go to, uh, mentalhealth.

org.

I'll give you my email, put it out there.

Email me.

My, my email is, uh, B McAlister, M C A L I S T E R at full F U L L.

Then the hyphen.

Recovery.

com, bMcAlister at full dash recovery.

com.

And you know, give me some time.

I promise I will get back to you and I wish everybody out there, you know,

I wish you success, whatever that vision of success is, whether it's just

being a better father, whether it's just being a better parent, whether

it's being ahead of IBM, whatever that thing is for you, go for it.

Like I said, this is not a dress rehearsal.

This is it.

This is your life.

Brian, I so appreciate it.

Thank you for sharing your story and just that, you know, it's about the

commitment and keeping that daily, you know, investment there, taking the

action and Brian, I really appreciate you providing your email address.

I'll put that in the show notes.

That's huge.

So thank you again, my friend.

I appreciate it.

Thank you.