What are some tips for the holidays when my loved one has dementia?Be adaptable, flexible and communicate

The holidays are a time for togetherness and making memories, but the reality is it can also bring stress and disappointment. Holiday traditions may need to evolve over time as family dynamics and situations change, including when a loved one has Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Megan Rowe, former Senior Program Manager with the Alzheimer’s Association: Dallas and Northeast Texas chapter has helpful tips if you’re a caregiver or celebrating with someone who needs a little extra help.

Megan recommends planning and making adjustments alongside your loved ones. Come together to discuss where your focus should be and what will bring the most joy to your family member with dementia or Alzheimer’s. Then you can work together to make it a reality.

Set expectations

First, it’s important to have a meeting with your loved ones to make sure they understand the situation. The Alzheimer’s Association website offers a letter template if you need help explaining the reality of your loved one’s state to them. It may have been months or years since your family has seen your loved one, and maybe they’re unprepared for how your loved one has regressed. Be sure to set boundaries and expectations around what you can and cannot do, giving yourself permission to only do what you can manage.

Don’t be afraid of change

While some traditions may not make sense considering your loved one’s situation, try finding a suitable alternative. For example, hosting a holiday with 20 people can be overwhelming with someone who has dementia. Consider having a more intimate holiday – or, set aside a designated quiet space for your loved one to take breaks from the action. If you’re accustomed to making a holiday feast by yourself, you might order food ahead of time or host a potluck-style meal so others can chip in.

Also consider the environment. Those with dementia have sensory differences, so beware of fake food and too many blinking lights. Make the other guests aware of anything that could be dangerous to your loved one as well.

Ask for help

You don’t need to manage everything on your own. It’s better for you (and your loved one with dementia / Alzheimer’s) to have a community on your side. It takes a village, and the more helping hands, the better. With their help, you can allow yourself to indulge in self-care and anything that manages your stress.

Topics discussed:

Alzheimer’s and dementia

The Alzheimer’s Association

Holiday planning with dementia

Tips for caregivers around the holidays

Tips for Alzheimer’s during holidays

How to help caregivers

Takeaways from this episode:

-Always include your loved ones in discussing options as you figure out what your holiday should look like.

- Caregivers tend to mask their loved one’s state, so others won’t worry, but you should familiarize them with the situation, so everyone is on the same page.

-Find safe, enjoyable, and purposeful ways for your loved one to help with the holidays. Maybe it’s as simple as polishing silver or setting the table.

-Those with dementia or Alzheimer’s tend to be more active in the morning. Meeting in the late afternoon or at dinnertime is less ideal and more tiring.

-Think of appropriate gifts for your loved one. Avoid buying them pets (this could be an additional stressor for caregivers). Caregivers can benefit from less traditional gifts such as meal delivery or handyman service.