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Ep.29 Your mind can be your worst enemy [self-awareness]
Episode 2912th October 2023 • The Borealis Experience • Aurora Eggert
00:00:00 00:16:32

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Our thoughts, emotions, and mental processes can sometimes work against us and lead to self-doubt, anxiety, or negative self-perception.

It reflects the importance of mental health and the role our thought patterns and attitudes play in our well-being. Here are a few reasons why this statement holds true:

  1. Overthinking: Excessive rumination and overthinking can lead to anxiety and stress. We often create problems or scenarios in our minds that may not even exist in reality.
  2. Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk, where we criticize or belittle ourselves, can erode self-esteem and confidence.
  3. Fear and Worry: Our minds can generate fear and excessive worry, often about future events that may never come to pass.
  4. Perfectionism: Striving for perfection in every aspect of life can lead to unrealistic expectations and self-criticism when we don't meet those expectations.
  5. Rumination on the Past: Repeatedly dwelling on past mistakes or regrets can prevent us from moving forward and finding happiness in the present.
  6. Comparison: Constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and envy.
  7. Cognitive Biases: Our minds are susceptible to various cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias or negativity bias, which can distort our perception of reality.

Recognizing that your mind can sometimes work against you is an important step in addressing these issues.

It's essential to practice self-awareness and develop strategies to manage negative thought patterns and emotions.

This may include mindfulness techniques, cognitive-behavioral therapy, seeking support from a therapist, and adopting a positive and self-compassionate mindset.

Taking care of your mental health and seeking support when needed can help you transform your mind from an enemy into an ally in your life's journey.

With much love

A.

  • How the mind can create negative experiences. 0:02
  • Aurora shares tips on how to overcome negative mindset and create a positive life experience.
  • Managing negative thoughts and self-doubt. 2:52
  • Mindset plays a crucial role in overcoming self-doubt and comparison in business.
  • Self-worth and mindset. 5:53
  • Speaker reflects on how past experiences shape present-day self-perception, leading to inaccurate comparisons with others.
  • Self-awareness and negative thoughts. 9:02
  • Speaker 1 emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing and managing negative thoughts and emotions.
  • Speaker 1 encourages listeners to observe their thoughts without attaching to them and to question unhelpful comparisons and beliefs.
  • Managing negative thoughts and emotions. 12:06
  • Observe negative thoughts without believing them, detach and focus on the present moment.
  • Transparency and vulnerability in sharing personal struggles can lead to deeper connections and self-awareness.

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Transcripts

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. And I'm excited to be

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spending some time with you today. And also excited to have

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more and more people checking out the yard experience. This is

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a physical location that I offer to connect with people to guide

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people through intimacy classes with their partners, or loved

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ones, yoga classes, relaxation classes, and in winter, excuse

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me in winter. And next summer, I will also be offering little

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tours around this beautiful country here where we hike in

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snow shoes, or on groom trails and get a little bit of

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exercising and, and genuine connection and then afterwards

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meeting at the yeard for some relaxing, genuine connection

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moments. So yeah, it's been quite the journey in the last

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couple of months. But I'm very excited to meet you beautiful

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listeners in person and light, it's such a blessing. Today, I

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want to talk about your mind, and how your mind can create

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Hell on Earth. By the way, my episodes are timeless and not

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interrupted by any advertisement. And it is all for

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free. So make the time and go through season one to season

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eight. There will be episodes that are very really relatable

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for any situation you're in right now. If it is feeling

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stuck feeling troubled in, you know a relationship or having to

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make a big decision or just overall, wanting to enjoy more

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and depth connection with yourself and others around you.

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I deeply encourage you to go back to season one. And to start

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there. And to Yeah, find meditations find interviews,

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find episodes where it's just me talking or sharing tips and

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tools on how you can become the best version of yourself are

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add. Let's talk about your mind and how your mind within seconds

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can have you drift into a downward spiral. You get up in

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the morning and feel well and excited. And go about your day,

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go about your routines, maybe drive to work. And then

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something happens. Be at you listening to you know, post a

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video, something on social media, or be it a person, either

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somebody you love and care about or somebody you don't even know

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who makes a comment and all of a sudden shit goes south and your

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day is ruined. Because for some reason you took something

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personal, that others might not take personal we can talk about

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triggers here. But yeah, sometimes our mind is just

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simply a landmine, a warzone for triggers and we feel vulnerable

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we feel on edge we feel criticized. And it's situation.

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mind set, a mode that our mind can be and that is very

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difficult to get out of, and how to snap out of it is really the

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art here how to not believe every thought that you have,

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especially when it comes to self doubt. When it comes to feeling

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less than not enough, comparing yourself. It is part of the

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human experience and it is the way our mind most of our minds

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are wired to compare to be anxious and nervous to be on

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edge. Especially if, if that's our normal, especially if we're

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used to being nervous if you were used to being judgey

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towards others, but especially ourselves, and it takes

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training. It takes effort to get yourself out of this weird loop

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and to feel good again, to feel good about yourself and to not

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let your thoughts control who you are, what you are how you

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serve your community. It is very tricky as a business owner,

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right when you start a business, and you put yourself out there

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with your heart and your blood, and you feel like people are not

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really interested as much as you were hoping for, or you have a

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successful business, and all of a sudden, somebody next door

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opens up a business that is similar to yours, and they have

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a different kind of success, an easier start or a better

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marketing strategy. And that's crushing, that's very, very

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difficult to, to go through these moments, but our mind can

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usually worsen the situation. And it goes back to how we feel

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about ourselves internally, without having a business

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without having a relationship. That when we feel challenged, we

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go back to maybe even childhood memories where we felt

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inadequate, and less than for the first time. And it is really

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important to get behind the stories. And to reframe them and

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to know that this is a story that I'm telling myself. And it

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might have been valid in the past at some point. But it is

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not valid anymore. Or it was never even valid. We simply made

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a conclusion about ourselves about others about the world.

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And it's not even the truth. But at that time back then when we

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made the conclusion, it was just an easy fix, to say that's how

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we put our mind to sleep ourselves to sleep, that maybe

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you know, all men are cheaters or all women are gold diggers or

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all teachers and authority figures are just evil and want

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to get us and mistreat us, right we we make all sorts of

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conclusions when we feel hurt and disappointed. And our

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mindset in the present moment might just fall back into that

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memory. Your mind is an excellent time traveler and

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excellent space traveler. An excellent traveler when it comes

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to memories your minds business is to prevent future pain. So

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your mind goes back to a painful memory when you feel indecisive

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and fearful to protect you from making a mistake from making the

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same mistake once over again. But sometimes it does you a huge

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disservice. Especially when it comes to comparing yourself to

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other people. You compare yourself to a person who might

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see more healthy, might see more beautiful, prettier, handsome,

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might seem more successful. And you diminish your value

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drastically, you only see and the other person what you don't

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have and what they have. But you don't see the reality your mind

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starts distorting, to a degree that it's not even fair to the

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other person because you put them on a pedestal and they have

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their struggles too. But your self worth issues are fueling

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your mind to be even more insecure than it is already. And

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it's just such a shitshow to be in. It's such a detrimental

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mindset to have and I know you're not doing it on purpose.

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I'm not doing another purpose when it happens to me, but it

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happens and to raise your awareness to sharpen your tools

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when it comes to yourself awareness is so crucial in this

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like in everything that I teach. And everything that I talked

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about self awareness, I believe is the key to a genuine

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connection to yourself and others. And to become aware that

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when your mind slides into comparison, self doubt, self

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destruct, sorry, self destruct mode,

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you can just observe it You can take the back seat, and watch

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this movie playing in front of you, as if you were sitting in a

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movie theater. You just watch it for a while and see what your

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mind your beautiful, beautiful mind comes up with beautiful

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ideas or not so beautiful ideas to make you feel shitty. And to

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not attach to these thoughts and to know that, oh, now your mind

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is doing this negative, downward spiraling game again. Am I going

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to hook into it? And believe it and allow my whole being to

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slide into this? No, maybe I can question some of the thoughts

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that I have. Really, is that person that I'm comparing myself

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to? Better than me? Are they more successful? Maybe they have

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tools and resources that I can claim in the future, maybe I can

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learn from that person that I'm comparing myself to? Really is

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my partner. What is an example I can bring up here? Yeah, is my

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partner attracted to this person over there, because they have,

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you know, a beautiful fancy car, and a beautiful body and they

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look so healthy. And he always talks about how he enjoys having

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friends that are healthy, and beautiful. And I don't feel

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healthy and beautiful right now. So he's probably going to cheat

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on me. And then that downward spiral, right. And when it comes

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to your parents and your siblings and kind of feeling

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that, yeah, your parents prefer your sibling. And yeah, they've

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been doing way more, and they're more compassionate, and then

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more present, and they're just overall a better person. And I'm

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just the worst person and to just watch these thoughts in the

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future. And to know that your mind is very capable to create

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Hell on Earth. But you don't have to believe it, you don't

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have to go after it. You can observe it. And maybe at the

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beginning, not snap your snap self right out of it, but kind

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of slowly navigate out of the situation. Because now you're

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becoming more aware of what's going on, you know, now that

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your minds default, is to go into a negative place of

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comparison and insecurity and self doubt. And that it's

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perfectly fine. But you don't have to believe it, you can

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watch it. And the more you manage to watch it and not hook

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into it, the more you can detach from it, dis identify from it

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and know that your mind is just trying to protect you. And it's

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not serving you in a way that suits you right now. And you

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will focus it in on your breath, you can go for a walk and just

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deeply tune into your environment. Or you can just

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change the subject or do something else. Or spoil

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yourself to a hot bath, a nice meal, would talk to a friend

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about it and maybe joke about it and see that hey, your monkey

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mind is,

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you know, on this weird path, downward spiral,

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and once again, and you're just trying to not hook into it. Like

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the more we

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are transparent about these things with the people we love,

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the more we can connect to them and they might share with you

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like here. Awesome. For me. I had a day like this yesterday,

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and I felt like shit. Especially when you are a parent when you

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are a business owner when you are a single and you hate being

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single when you are in a relationship and you're just so

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frustrated about certain things that are not going well. The

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more we can talk about it and be transparent about it and just

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human about it, the easier things will get and the less

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charge things will have and drain our energies and just

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Yeah, make us feel weird and lonely. So yeah, your mind is

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beautiful. Your mind is a mystery and your mind is not

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always your friend. And that's perfectly fine. We can become

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the observer of our thoughts of our mind. And just know that

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thoughts will pass by like clouds and we don't have to jump

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on to Every cloud that applause

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passes by, and believe it, we can question it or we can just

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altogether drop it and not hook into it at all. All right, this

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is my episode for you. I hope I didn't. Yeah. Just scream your

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ear off.

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take really good care of yourself.

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If I can help you in any way when it comes to coaching if you

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want to meet in person, if you want to have an experience

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together when it comes to intimacy and deepening your

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connection with other people in yourself, reach out to me. I'm

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very excited to work with you and take really good care of

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yourself. Until next time, Bye

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