Boomer Banter is back with another encouraging episode where we unpack the idea of ‘purpose’ in our lives.

Wendy Green, dives deep into why so many of us feel like we’re wandering around aimlessly, trying to find that elusive ‘why’ for getting up in the morning. She flips the script on purpose, suggesting that it’s not about hunting it down like a treasure map; instead, it’s about sitting back and letting it come to us.

Wendy shares her own life experiences—like the time she stood up for her son at school and how that led her to realize her knack for advocacy and encouragement. She also reflects on how her professional journey has shaped her understanding of purpose, moving from a corporate ladder-climber to a passionate coach and community builder. Throughout the episode, Wendy reminds us that purpose is often revealed in the little nudges and moments of inspiration that we encounter in our daily lives.

So, if you’re feeling confused about the idea of purpose, join Wendy as she shares how to tune into what really matters and let your purpose find you!

Takeaways:

• Purpose isn't some elusive treasure we must dig for; it finds us when we listen to the invitations.
• Listening to those little nudges in life is key, like when your gut tells you to take that one path, even if it's not the popular choice.
• It's okay to feel lost about your purpose; most of us haven't been handed a map, just a series of moments that guide us along the way.
• When you find yourself feeling most alive, that's often a hint that you're on the right path towards your purpose, so pay attention!
• Remember, your purpose can manifest in many forms, from advocating for your kids to nurturing a garden, so embrace all of it!

Links referenced in this episode:

• Take the What's Keeping You Stuck quiz
• Check out the Ageless Traveler podcast

Hello and welcome to Boomer Banter. My name is Wendy Green and I am your host.

And every week on Boomer Banter, we talk about the challenges, the changes and the possibilities that come with this season of life. And many times when we talk about aging. Well, a lot of us talk about having a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning.

But this tends to make people anxious. Purpose sounds like such a big word. And people begin to think there's something wrong with them when they can't find or.

Or they believe they don't know what their purpose is. Well, what if I told you that you are not clueless about your purpose?

What would it feel like to know that you don't have to work so hard to find your purpose? And what if purpose isn't something that you have to go searching for, but it's actually something that finds you?

I'm going to answer these questions for you today. So many of us spend years doing what we think we're supposed to do. Chasing success, security, other people's approval.

But sometimes life sends us a quiet invitation, probably more than one. A moment that says, pay attention, this matters. That nudge might be your purpose calling.

I was one of those people who tried to follow the expectations that my parents had for me, at least for a while.

When I started college, I wanted to study sociology, but my dad told me that would be a waste of my time, that I could not find a good paying job in sociology, that I needed to study something practical that would provide me a good job and a good living.

Well, you know, I think some of you know, I left school after that first year, got married, had kids, got divorced, and eventually I went back to school to finish my degree. I studied computer science exactly for the reasons my father stated. And it did provide me a decent living.

But until I started finding other ways to use my computer skills, like in training and development and customer support, I was not even close to being fulfilled in my work. I was speaking with my grandson this weekend. He's studying music in college.

I asked him if he had a dream or desire for what he would do when he got out of school. He thought for a moment and answered, no, not really. That would have sent my father into a tailspin. But I said to him, well, that's okay.

As I've watched you go through high school and now into college, you have seen the open doors of opportunity and you've walked through them. I think that's going to happen for you again.

Rather than chasing or finding a purpose, his experience and some of what I will share with you today is about listening for the whispers and walking through the open doors, allowing your purpose to find you. We often talk about purpose like it's a hidden treasure, something we have to uncover.

The women's movement was kicking in, and it seemed to be like a good time to kind of make some noise, try and get some attention for this. So my dad and I worked on a campaign to bring attention to the fact that girls weren't allowed to be pages in Congress.

And that was something I wanted to do. So we did this long campaign. There were cameras all around and newspaper reporters, and it became a really big deal.

And eventually what happened was that I was called by our Florida state senator, and I was able to be a page in the Florida state Senate.

So it turned into me realizing that one person who has a dream or a desire and then responds to that dream or desire can make a difference, can make something happen. Was it comfortable? Oh, heck, no. I. I was. You know, I was a junior in high school.

I wanted to blend in, and instead, there were cameras following me around in school and cameras in my front yard. And it was uncomfortable and scary at first. But the courage that I learned from this experience has carried me through my life.

And I didn't realize it at first, but that actually was my first lesson and letting purpose find me. So let's go on and see where that takes us. After I had my children and they started into elementary school, I got a call one day. My son was in.

He was either in first or second grade. I'm not sure. And I got a call one day from his teacher that told me. And she told me that she was going to put him in the timeout box.

I couldn't believe it. Like, what the heck is a timeout box? And that sounded awful.

So I called a meeting with the teacher and the principal, and I was like, what's the problem? She said, well, he finishes his work, and then he wanders around the classroom, and it's very distracting to the other kids.

He's got to learn to just sit quietly.

So I said, well, he's finished this, because you're in first grade teaching them to read, and he can already read, so why don't you just let him read a book? And their answer to me was, well, I think he has adhd. Why don't you put him on drugs? And I was like, wait, this is. I don't think he needs drugs.

I think he's bored. Let's just let him read. And this became a pattern. Like every year in his elementary school years.

I had to go meet with the teacher, explain that, you know, he was finishing his work ahead of time because he was basically ahead of the class, and that was causing a behavior issue. So let him read. He could sit there and read quietly for very long periods of time, and eventually they learned that was a good strategy for him.

And that worked. Later on in school, I had a situation with my daughter. She was in the eighth grade. They were studying science.

And one day, one evening, we were sitting there reviewing her science test, and I was looking at her notes, and there were questions like, humanoid is really. I'm sorry, Neanderthal man is really a humanoid with rickets. What? I was like, no, no, you. You could not have copied this down correctly.

And she said, oh, mom, that's exactly what was on the overhead. The next one said the Earth was only 5,000 years old, otherwise it would have been covered and solar and space dust and all this stuff.

I was like, what the heck? This is not science. What she was learning was creationism.

And, you know, there was a ruling way back, I don't know, the 40s, 50s, the Scopes monkey trial, that you were not allowed to teach creationism in school as science.

So I wondered if the other parents had realized what was being taught, because, you know, these kids were going to go on and hopefully take sats and go into college and, like, they needed to understand Earth science. So I called several of the other parents or of her friends. They were aware of this, but they didn't want to do anything about it.

So, you know, here I go. I felt like I had to have a meeting with the principal and the teacher and talk about this, because that's just not. It's not legal.

It's not fair to the kids. And the teacher basically said to me, well, there were science books in the classroom they could have picked up. And I said, these are eighth graders.

You're telling them this is what's going to be on a test. They're not going to go pick up another science book just because it's there. They're going to do what you tell them is going to be on the test.

So it was scary, right? I had to go in by myself, without any other support and do what I felt was right for not just my daughter, but for all of the kids in that class.

So I learned how to learned that day that speaking up for something, it, yeah, it's brave. But it also felt really necessary at that point. All right, so are you starting to see a pattern?

So next memory that I had about this kind of thing that would happen that would say to me, oh, you got to do something, was when I decided to go back to school as a single parent and study that computer science that I mentioned to you in the beginning.

Well, we, we, the adult students that were going back to school all had child care challenges, right, because we were in school work, working on our education, but not working to earn much income at that time. And child care was expensive back then. It's ridiculous now.

So I recall one afternoon, several of us sitting around in the coffee shop at the student union going, you know, what are we going to do? We've got child care costs and we've got kids that need us, and we've got these classes that we have to do and studying. And so we decided.

A few of us came together and we went to the administration and asked if they could provide us with a room that we could use for child care so that when, you know, one of us was in class, another parent could be covering and watching the kids.

And we started a rotation and everybody had to agree that they would be there and they would help watch the kids and cover for you while you were in class and vice versa. I imagine there had to be some discussion about liability coverage. I don't remember that.

But I do know that the school let us have that space and we were able to help each other out.

And so it not only built a sense of relief for us as parents that our kids were together and they were being well cared for, but it also created a sense of community among the parents who were returning to college to try and do better. I hope you're seeing the pattern now.

The call I keep answering, the one that I can't seem to deny, calls me to advocate, to find solutions and to encourage others to do better, to do their best, to come up with solutions that work for them. Let's fast forward a few decades. There were career shifts after I graduated. There were losses of jobs and locations and there were reinventions and.

And I was working in HR and leadership development for a telecom company. And the day before 9 11, I was notified that I was going to be let go.

So the morning of 9 11, I happened to be sitting in my office with my staff when someone came rushing in to tell us about the towers and the Pentagon, which was not that far from where we were. I don't want to talk about that day because that really doesn't have a lot of validity to what we're talking about right now.

But what the fallout from that was now I didn't have a job. I was fairly new to the area and I couldn't find a job because I didn't have a network. And what was I going to do?

I kept looking and looking and looking.

And finally I made a decision after some discussion with friends and family that I could go work for Sylvan Learning center and be a director of their center. I had never done anything like that before, but I always knew that I cared about the kids.

And I found that working with those kids and seeing them start to believe in themselves and seeing the parents start to relax and feel so much better that their children were starting to move forward in their education, it was, it was a fantastic experience and very rewarding.

And, and I remember like report card day, you know, there were a lot of celebrations because they were so proud to show us how they had improved from the beginning when they first started. And so running this center showed me that I could not only encourage and help grow the kids, but I could also grow a business.

And I decided I wanted to have my own business.

And so I started to look around and I found what was called kids art, which was a franchise that also focused on not just creativity, the art part, but also confidence. We talked to the children about, you know, there aren't any mistakes that you can't fix.

It was a very different message from, you know, the black and white that they were learning in school, right or wrong, study for the test. That was it. In kids art, we were able to say expand your vision.

You can create and draw and try new art projects and do all of these wonderful things. And seeing them shine. And the surprise, this was cool.

The surprise on the parents faces when they would come in and see what their children had created. That was so rewarding.

And I started to now realize, wow, this work of encouraging and, and growing, helping individuals grow, well that was really speaking to me. My dad has always imagined that I would be at least a VP in a corporation. That never felt like it fit. Although I did try.

You know, I did get to a director level a couple of times. But I realized that my fulfillment came through inspiring others to believe in themselves. So sometimes the hardest part isn't taking action.

One day she said to me, you know, I think you would make a really good coach. It was like this light bulb moment. Oh my gosh, yes, that's exactly what I want to do. Did you catch that?

My purpose ear was listening and it picked up on the idea of being a coach and encouraging others. It was. I. Well, I enrolled in this intensive nine month coaching program. Expensive, but so worth it.

But I was a coach, not a marketer, as somebody on this who's listening today knows. And it was really hard for me to grow the business to find clients.

Well, when we got shut down, I was like, okay, well I knew as a coach because I'd been doing some career coaching that trying to find another job when you're over 50 is so much harder, at least then I think. It's hard for the kids now too, but so much harder to find another job when you're over 50. And I wanted to put out a message that we're not done.

We still have a lot to give. We have years of experience. We probably have another 20 good years ahead of us.

And I wanted to encourage and inspire listeners to find meaning and fulfillment in the time they had left. Well, now we're almost six years into it and I hope that's what I'm doing.

I started this episode with a promise that I would answer the following questions for you. What would it feel like if you didn't have to work so hard to find a purpose.

And what if purpose isn't something you go searching for, but something that finds you? And I hope that I reminded you that you're not clueless about your purpose.

In my coaching practice, I often encourage my clients to write their their life story. I give them some guidelines that help them begin to recognize their themes in their lives.

These themes are often the whispers, the invitations our purpose is providing us. Over time, you probably have responded to these invitations, but maybe you didn't see your response as your purpose.

It's just something you did was part of who you are. And it probably wasn't terribly difficult.

You may have been pulled back into doing all the things you thought you should have been doing, but then another quiet opportunity would appear and you would respond. So why don't we see these steps as a purpose? Because they feel natural to us. I had to advocate for my children. I couldn't have done otherwise.

I needed help with child care. When I went back to school, I felt called to be a coach and start boomer banter.

I'm not saying that any of this was easy, just that I almost felt like I had no choice in doing some of these things. But until I really listened, truthfully just recently, I did not totally embrace advocacy and encouragement as my purpose.

So if you've ever felt unsure about your purpose, you're in good company. Most of us don't get a clear roadmap. We get small moments that test or teach us. The key is to listen for what keeps calling you back.

So how can you listen to your life? I always like the idea of the life story. What do you notice that kept getting Giving you opportunities to feel good about what you were doing.

This is a big one. Turn off the noise devices, tv, music, even books. They distract us from listening to ourselves.

I sat quietly the other night by myself, having dinner. And suddenly I got the inspiration for this episode. Oh, that's right. Purpose found me and I had to do this. I had to do this episode.

So ask yourself, what do people thank you for? When have you felt most alive and useful? Those are going to give you some hints to what your purpose is.

So for many of us, purpose isn't something we find. It's something we meet again and again. If a small voice is whispering to you, this is where you're needed. Don't dismiss it.

That's your next invitation. And you know what? You probably won't be able to dismiss it because it's just going to keep nudging you and you're going to have to do something.

And one more thing. My purpose to advocate, to encourage, to coach is not your purpose. Your purpose may be involvement with your family.

It may be planting and nurturing a beautiful garden. Your purpose may be in your spiritual community, it may be in exploring your ancestry. Purpose is what finds you when you listen and it lights you up.

You know you have to do it. So thanks for spending time with me today.

And if today's message resonated, share it with a friend who might need a reminder that they're not off track. They may just be in transition.

And if you're feeling stuck when you try to identify your purpose, then you can turn try out my what's keeping you stuck Quiz and get some insights into what it is that's getting in your way and then get some resources to help you get unstuck. So check it out. It's free, it's easy, it's fun, it's insightful.

It's the link is https://bit.ly/NotStuck-Renewed and I will put that in the show notes. And one more thing. Another purpose might be travel.

And if travel is calling you, listen to the only podcast dedicated to boomers and beyond travel, the Ageless Traveler, with host Adrienne Berg. She will talk about travel, health and exotic locations and travel tips.

And she'll give you the tools to never stop traveling so you can listen to her podcast wherever you listen to podcasts and subscribe to the free newsletter Travel Tuesday ageless traveler.com so until next time, keep listening. Take some quiet time to reflect. What are the whispers you have heard throughout your life? I would love to know. Drop me a comment. Thanks so much.

Bye bye.