ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders

Today's episode is different: what happens when our energy runs out?

I wanted to share with you the how I responded to a day of zero energy and why I think it's important for ADHD Coaches - and coaches in general - to show up as real humans who have days where our personal growth shows up as love, compassion and permission instead of shiny routines, perky planners and catchy phrases in pep talks. (My clients will confirm I never use any of those...)

There are a few research studies that are relevant, showing that ADHD adults are more likely to report fatigue and experience low energy but the questions for today are simple:

• What do I NEED?
• How can I meet that need? What people, resources, skills are available to me?
• How can I show myself compassion and adaptability?

I hope you enjoy this different episode - I know I liked sharing something personal and more coach-like with you.

Remember to let me know if you have questions - I'll be making a series of 5-10 minute episodes soon to answer them. The website form has had a makeover so head to the podcast page and send them through there.

Connect with Katherine here:

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Podcast Question form: https://lightbulbadhd.com/podcast/

Takanobu Yamamoto, The relationship between central fatigue and Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder of the inattentive type, Neurochemical Research, 10.1007/s11064-022-03693-y, 47, 9, (2890-2898), (2022).

Martin Oscarsson, Martina Nelson, Alexander Rozental, Ylva Ginsberg, Per Carlbring, Fredrik Jönsson, Stress and work-related mental illness among working adults with ADHD: a qualitative study, BMC Psychiatry, 10.1186/s12888-022-04409-w, 22, 1, (2022).

Nufar Grinblat, Sara Rosenblum, Work participation, sensory processing and sleep quality in adults with attention-deficit hyperactive disorder, Work, 10.3233/WOR-211129, 73, 4, (1235-1244), (2022).

Bert Lenaert, Rebecca Jansen, Caroline M. van Heugten, You make me tired: An experimental test of the role of interpersonal operant conditioning in fatigue, Behaviour Research and Therapy, 10.1016/j.brat.2018.01.006, 103, (12-17), (2018).

Wajszilber D, Santiseban JA, Gruber R. Sleep disorders in patients with ADHD: impact and management challenges. Nat Sci Sleep. 2018 Dec 14;10:453-480. doi: 10.2147/NSS.S163074. PMID: 30588139; PMCID: PMC6299464.

Speaker: 00:00:00

up my friend?

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It is ADHD coach Katherine here and

this is a slightly different episode.

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of ADHD, powerful possibilities.

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So today's episode is different.

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I am extremely tired and I want to tell

you why and then I'm going to share some

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information about how you can manage low

energy days because we all have them.

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Yesterday, After a very busy day with

new clients, thinking about my group

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program, preparing for a webinar

today, I think it was about 2pm when

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I started to feel really tired and

I've clearly had a cold or something

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because I actually had a nap on a

Saturday afternoon, which is unheard of.

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But I was tired and I decided to

keep going when I shouldn't have.

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And the long story short

is that it was about 4pm.

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I got up at 7am before

I finally got to sleep.

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I didn't feel well, I wasn't well and

I pushed through when I shouldn't have

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because, you know, I'm the only person in

the world who could possibly have prepared

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the slides for the webinar I was doing

today and written the emails that I needed

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to write and, we all like to think we're

the only person who can do these things.

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So, today, I got up at 7am.

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was the dogs with the kid and I

literally felt like I was jet lagged.

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If you've ever been jet lagged

it's revolting isn't it?

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You're dizzy, your head is fuzzy,

you can't really think straight and

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I had zero energy or focus all day.

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Thankfully, I was not responsible for

taking the offspring to school today.

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And all I had to do was put some food

on the table and look after the dogs.

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And then prepare for a webinar

tonight and a couple of short

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things that I couldn't rearrange.

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That didn't involve me

being, an eloquent teacher.

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human being.

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So I wanted to share that the

reality is we all have days where

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we have no energy and it's really

important that coaches with ADHD

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explain to you that we are human too.

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Because I feel like too often people

with ADHD look at coaches and think

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they must have their act together,

everything must be organized.

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We're all humans.

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Whether we have ADHD or not, whether

we are coaches or not, and we all

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have days where we have no energy

or when we've not had enough sleep.

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And one of the things I've been focusing

on a lot in my group development is

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adaptability because there's no such

thing As the perfect routine, the

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perfect program, the perfect whatever for

everybody with ADHD because we change all

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the time as humans and We have to be able

to adapt, whether we are tired, whether we

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have lots of energy, whether we have lots

of demands from other things in our lives.

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So we need to be able to adapt and adjust

our expectations of ourselves and the

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strategies we use, depending on how we

are feeling on that day, in that moment.

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And so today, that meant I just

had to recognize my limits.

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And I reshaped my day

according to what I had.

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I cancelled my coaching clients

because I would not show up and

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do my coaching at it's best.

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And I always try to bring my best.

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If I can't focus, I can't coach.

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If I can't listen intently and

be fully present, I can't coach.

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It's not a question of, this is what's

wrong with you, here is a technique.

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That's not coaching.

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I need to be able to be fully present,

engaged, attentive, responsive,

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all these wonderful things.

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So I said, I can't show up today for you.

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And because my clients are lovely,

they said, that's totally fine.

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Get some sleep.

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I rearranged other things

and moved them to other days.

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I called in.

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Some reinforcements in the

form of my partner who took

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the kid to and from school.

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And then I just focused on getting

through the things I had to do

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with as little energy as possible.

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And I have to say, this is one of the

reasons people with ADHD find that

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their, what they call ADHD traits, are

so much more obvious when they're tired.

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Because your brain is

designed to keep you alive.

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And if you are somebody who struggles

with sleep, something like 60 percent of

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people with ADHD have sleep problems, then

you're You are going to find your ADHD is

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much more obvious and noisy on those days.

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What else can we do?

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Think about what is absolutely urgent.

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Give yourself permission

to put things off.

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Think about self care not as something

you need to do, but something you can be.

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And that sounds a bit weird,

how can you be self care?

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For me, it's about.

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Thinking about what I

really need in that moment.

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And yesterday I should have said I

really need to go and rest but I didn't

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because I pushed through because I want

to show up and do my best for people.

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And really you need to

meet your own needs first.

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But self care doesn't need to be a

bubble bath if it's not a nap, if

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it's not a walk outside under the sky.

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Maybe it's just some quiet time with

a book or a journal that you can read.

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really speaks to you or gives you space.

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I would encourage you to think for

a second when you find yourself

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caught in that I must trap.

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Is it really essential?

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Are you really going to

show up at your best?

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Or would giving yourself permission To

step back and rest, be better for you

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and for whoever you're living with or

supporting or working for in the long run.

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And this is especially difficult

if you identify as somebody who

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has revenge procrastination.

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But revenge bedtime procrastination

tells me that there is an

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unmet need throughout your day.

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And there are lots of people who

cannot meet their needs during

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the day, especially if they are

parents of small humans or they

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work in very stressful jobs.

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But if you possibly can, identify

what your need is and try to fit it in

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much more frequently during the day.

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And apart from giving yourself

permission to rest, let's

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also remember self compassion.

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And self compassion means managing

your energy, working with it, not

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against it, being compassionate

and taking care of yourself.

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What would you do if it was a

person that you love who was

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really tired or had no energy?

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You would be curious but you

would also be patient and kind

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and also stay adaptable.

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Remember that there will be days

where you have lots of energy and

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focus and some days where you don't.

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And if you don't ever have any

energy, that's a medical issue,

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anyway.

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Thank you for joining me in this very

short, slightly different episode.

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I hope it's given you some food

for thought and you have some

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questions that you can go away and

ask yourself the next time you try

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and catch yourself pushing through.

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Instead of going for a disco nap.

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I'll be back next week with the podcast.

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Almost as usual there might be a few

changes and over the summer I'm going

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to be making some mini episodes, five

minute episodes to answer your questions.

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Make sure you go to the website and

send me your questions from the podcast

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page which has had a little refresh.

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And I'll be back and see you next week,

but until then, take care of yourself.