What happens when we start outsourcing our decisions to AI? What does it cost us, when we've already spent a lifetime being questioned, second-guessed, and conditioned to override ourselves?

In this episode, we explore the growing trend of using AI as a decision-making partner and why it’s not as helpful as it might seem. Outsourcing decisions disconnects us from our bodies, our relationships, and our inner authority, especially for women in midlife who are already navigating decision fatigue, over-responsibility, and pressure to prove.

Clarity doesn’t come from more information. Your body knows before your mind does. Erica offers simple ways to come back to yourself when you’re spiraling or feeling stuck.

If you're ready to feel strong in your decisions, book your Clear Decision Audit

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Connect with me: erica[at]ericavoell[dot]com

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Welcome to the Unfolding Podcast,

a space where we explore what it

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looks like to really trust yourself.

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Say no without guilt and live your

life like it actually belongs to you.

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I am Erica Voell, a Decision Mentor

and Inner-Trust Guide, and I help

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women in midlife trust how they are

uniquely designed to make decisions,

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reclaim their authority, and

understand their unique strength.

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Using human design as a lens, we

clear the noise of conditioning so

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their no feels powerful and their

yes feels true, which allows them

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to move forward without self-doubt,

guilt, and pressure to prove anything.

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On this show, we have honest conversations

about self-trust, boundaries, energy

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and identity, especially for women

in midlife who are done living by the

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shoulds and second guessing themselves.

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You'll hear stories, insights,

and tools rooted in human

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design, coaching, and real life.

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Not to tell you what to do, like

another self-help book, but to help you

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really hear yourself so you can stop

overthinking and start making decisions

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that feel grounded, clear, and true.

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So something unexpected

happened to me this week.

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I posted on LinkedIn a version of an

email that I had sent to my subscribers.

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It was about how AI is a terrible

decision making partner as more and

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more people are outsourcing their

decisions, and many times are turning

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to AI to help them make decisions.

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What was unexpected was

that four men commented.

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One of them said that AI is a great

decision making tool because it

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learns about you, but he seemed to

completely miss my point and obviously

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he did not read the entire post,

but it brought up something for me.

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As women, we were constantly

questioned about our decisions as

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kids and as teenagers and we are

really definitely questioned As

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adults, we are asked, are you sure?

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Don't you think you need

to think about it more?

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Especially when our decision goes

against what is comfortable for our

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families or our employers or our group.

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But men are often seen as strong

and confident in their decisions

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and are rarely asked, are you sure?

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Even when their decisions

don't make sense.

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I mean, I don't know how many men in high

positions are being asked, are you sure?

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AI has been sold to companies that it

will streamline decision making and it

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will solve problems before they happen,

which then allows companies to take a

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large amount of data and get insights.

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And AI is also entering into our

thought processes all over the place.

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It's in a Google search,

it's in our emails.

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We are learning how AI talks.

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My daughter was like, oh

mom, that's an AI video.

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And I was like, it is.

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But it's been also touted in the last

few years as this great writing help and

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if you have technology questions, ask ai.

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And through word of mouth we

hear other people using it.

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And so we try it out and if it can help

us figure out how to structure an email

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that we think will be more powerful

and it also has a magical way of asking

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questions and offering help, then maybe

it's good at helping us make decisions.

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I mean, it's helping companies all

over the world, but are companies

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making better decisions or are

they using it to streamline their

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workforce and to get rid of the people

who used to do the simple tasks.

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Because if it can help you make

decisions at work, then maybe it can

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help you in your personal life, right?

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Earlier this summer I heard about a teen's

family who was suing OpenAI, which is

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the owner of Chachi pt because their son

committed suicide after having multiple

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conversations with it about suicide, and

it sent up a little radar antenna for me.

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The more people I've heard talking

about using ai, the more comments

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I've heard about using chat GPT

to help them make decisions.

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Then I recently overheard a

conversation with somebody.

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And she was talking about how she'd

had this long, drawn out conversation

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with her chat bot because she didn't

know what to do with her ex-husband

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and couldn't make a decision.

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I didn't hear the end of the conversation,

but it just, it sparked something

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in me because as humans, we love the

next thing that will make our lives

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easier, more comfortable, the next

life hack that will ease our stress.

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Think about how many self-help books

are out there about the life hacks, the

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ones that will make our lives easier.

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And more and more people are

turning to AI for advice according

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to psychology today, 20 to 50% of

people have consulted AI for advice.

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That's not technology

questions or writing help.

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That's advice of what should I do.

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And kids and teens are

learning how powerful AI is.

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I use it myself.

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It is amazing.

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I mean, it has helped me in my business

when I am trying to remember what I

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said on various podcasts, but I also

know that there are limits to what

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it can do, and I also know how it is

affecting my brain and training my brain.

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My daughter, I found a

conversation on her iPad.

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About with chat GPT about how

to argue with your mother.

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Logically, I had to laugh at

its answers because none of

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them would've worked on me.

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She tried a couple of them and I

was like, where'd you get that?

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She hadn't told me that she was using chat

GPT for this, but the more we turned to

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ai, the less we trust our inner guidance.

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And yes, it can ask you questions.

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It may be able to ask you,

have you thought of X, Y, Z?

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But the questions that need to

be asked are more likely to come

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from you or a trusted friend.

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It's powerful to ask yourself questions on

a voice memo and then listen to them back.

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I mean, that's your own voice and you

can feel how your body responds if you're

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a generator or manifesting generator.

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AI can't read your body language and

it can't call you on your own BS.

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It's an echo chamber.

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It learns more about you.

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It learns how you think and

you process, and so it adjusts.

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You can have AI ask you questions about

how so you can then respond to them,

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but asking it for advice isolates us

from the relationships and the community

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that we need now more than ever.

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It also disconnects us

from our inner knowing.

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That inner experience of knowing what's

right for us, even if the outside world

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disagrees and has plenty of opinions,

there's been an expectation that everyone

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makes decisions and choices the same way.

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It's been that way for centuries.

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That we make decisions with our minds.

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And as women in midlife, we

are more conditioned than at

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any other time in our lives.

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We are experts in conditioning.

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We have had decades of

practicing the old way.

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We have spent decades shape shifting

and making the safe decisions.

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What would make others comfortable?

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What would make our partner or

our kid or our parents happy?

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What's acceptable within our community

and even what's acceptable within our

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own spiritual and religious beliefs?

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Our mind center, depending on

its definition in human design.

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Wants certainty, even if it's

an open center, it's open to the

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influences of other people who

might expect certainty from us.

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We can see others' points of view, and

those can factor into what we will, how

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we might make a decision, especially if it

goes against the group in our community.

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If your mind center is defined,

that center wants things to

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be not only certain, but to

be consistent and confident.

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It struggles with new perspectives that

your choices may bring into the mix.

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We have so many messages of what

we should do, what we should be.

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How we should look, how we should

present ourselves to the world.

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And if you're in a position of authority

within your community or field, there

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are expectations that can heavily

influence your decisions because a

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decision can then reflect poorly on

you and you lose others' trust and it

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doesn't feel safe to decide differently.

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I had a client panel on my recent

masterclass this last week.

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My clients talked about how learning

their human design decision making

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process started to move them out of

that cycle, out of making a decision

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to keep the peace and to keep others

happy, and those decisions that

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maybe they made that felt resentful.

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Of afterwards and leaning

into that decision making

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authority is a lifelong lesson.

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We won't get it perfect and we will

still have decisions we want to back

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out of or we will grit our teeth through

because we said yes out a feeling.

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An obligation or we felt rushed.

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We're processing so much information

that our mental bandwidth is depleted

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and we have decision fatigue.

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So when we have decision fatigue,

our mind is can't process

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what our body is telling us.

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And then you add in the additional

layers of our safety, our health,

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the political and the climate

related stress we were experiencing.

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The financial instability and the

wellbeing of our families, it's a lot.

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And our culture rewards

speed and certainty and often

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shames us for any hesitation.

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And if we appear that we might

need more time to process.

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If you're in that position of

authority, tuning into your body

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can seem too airy, fairy, or woo.

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And as women, it can feed into that old

narrative that women are too sensitive

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or emotional to make the hard decisions.

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I mean, can you imagine what our

world would look like if more women

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were making the dhar decisions?

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And not just that, but making

them from a grounded place instead

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of being flooded with their ego.

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We know clear decisions come from being

grounded and regulated, not rushed,

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but when you have someone asking

you over and over for a decision.

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It doesn't give you that

space to feel grounded.

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Fear is also a huge

factor in our decisions.

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Fear of judgment, fear of making the

wrong choice, fear of not having enough

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information, fear of the unknown.

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This is where the ego

comes in fast and furious.

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We also know if we don't feel safe in

our home, our community, or our bodies,

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that the clarity won't feel safe.

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It feels overwhelming.

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A desire for something more

feels risky, and the idea of

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ease can feel like pressure.

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And while AI can make you think you have

certainty, what your mind loves isn't

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always the best decision for your body.

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Your mind loves comfort, and it

will go with the choice that feels

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the most comfortable and safe.

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Asking yourself, is this decision true

for me in my body, or is this choice

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what my mind loves can be super powerful.

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When your mind is coming up with a long

list of reasons and justifications, then

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that's the first signal to tune in and

notice what's coming up in your body.

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It's most likely.

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A choice that your mind loves and

your body is telling you is wrong.

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Your mind might be overriding that

sick feeling that you have because it

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thinks it knows better depending on

your human design decision process.

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Your process might be that you need

to have someone ask you yes or no

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questions to help you get clarity.

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If that is it, then ask them.

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Have someone ask you those questions.

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If your process is to talk it out

with a trusted friend, do that.

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If your design says you need

to sleep on it for a few

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days, then definitely do that.

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Your body knows more before your mind.

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And sometimes it takes our

minds a while to come around

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to what our body is telling us.

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Our minds are.

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Powerful.

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They can conceptualize things

that we can't even fathom.

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And for years they were the ones

that were making your decisions.

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It can feel hard for your mind to trust

something as illogical as your body.

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'cause your body doesn't

have to explain itself.

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It doesn't have all the reasons.

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But once you lean into listening

to your body and your mind

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starts to trust what your body is

telling you, that is so powerful.

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Your mind starts to relax and sometimes

it even wants to check out when a

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decision has to be made because it

trusts the signals in your body so much.

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So when you are in a spiral, some of

the things that you can do to help

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you tune into your body are to be

in a space that relaxes your mind.

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Go for a walk without

listening to anything.

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But I've learned to take my phone,

not to listen to anything, but because

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there's always something that comes

through and I want to voice record it.

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Being out in nature, it has an amazing

grounding and calming effect, and when

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you can't get outside, you can even

close your eyes and focus on breathing

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10 breaths to help your mind calm down.

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It can be helpful to say,

I am breathing in one.

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I am breathing out one.

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I am breathing in two.

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I am breathing out two.

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That gives your mind a job to do to

slow that spiral for many who have a

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mind that's grasping for certainty.

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Free writing can also be really

powerful, and just letting the thoughts

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flow, giving yourself 30 minutes to

write and to see what comes through.

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It might not even be those 30 minutes

that you need because the act of

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writing activates different parts of

your brain and it can help you process

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through the fears that are coming up.

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Okay.

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One of my favorites recently is tapping.

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It helped me through some really bad

anxiety and fears that were coming up.

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I would tap for six or seven rounds

on what was coming up for me.

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The first things in my mind were

what I said out loud, and by the

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fourth or fifth round, I could feel

a shift from darkness to light.

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There are a ton of tapping meditations

and videos out there to help you

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work through whatever is coming up.

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But I find when I can't come to a clear

decision, even after I've slept on it

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for a few days, which is my decision

making process, that there are lingering

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fears that still have plenty to say.

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And tapping and saying all of those

fears out loud seems to not only calm my

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mind, but it calms my body because not

all of these fears live in our minds.

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They are deep in our body.

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They're in our instinctual

center and our emotional center.

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That fear of rejection from our

family members and our community

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doesn't live in our minds.

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It's deeply emotional.

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Technology is powerful.

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And I've heard people looking at

their smartwatch and looking at their

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heart rate when they're making a

decision, but the heartbeat can be

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shifted with the mind while also being

connected to the rest of the body.

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And when there's a disconnect and

we don't trust ourselves enough

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to make a clear choice, our mind

jumps into fear mode and what ifs.

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And when we can calm the mind,

we can really tune in giving the

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mind work to do, such as focusing

on things such as drawing, or

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painting, or gardening and cooking.

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They can be really, really helpful

to get your mind out of those

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spirals if the other techniques

are not working the way you hoped.

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Those things make our minds take a break,

and often because the mind is occupied

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with other things, we can get a sense

of what our best decision might be.

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Yeah.

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With everything going on in our world,

coming back to our vision and knowing what

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we want helps us make clearer decisions.

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And it helps make choosing

easier because you know that each

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opportunity that presents itself,

it in line with that vision.

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And if it's not, then it's an easy no.

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I know your vision won't help you at

the grocery store all the time or when

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you need to make a snap decision, but

for those bigger decisions, that vision

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helps . That next ask from the PTA.

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Can be a simple decision if you have

decided that being more active with

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your kid and your community is part of

your vision, but if it would take you

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away from a commitment to yourself,

then that makes the decision easier.

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And overwhelm is a choice.

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Leaders within the US government

and all around the world know that.

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They know that when people are

overwhelmed and there is chaos,

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that that brings complacency.

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Things in our world feel

really hard and heavy.

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Right now, we have a choice to get mired

in the overwhelm, doom, scrolling, or

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making a conscious choice that we will

slow down and focus on the most important

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person in our lives ourself, and then

we can choose to make one small step

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towards what we want our life to be like.

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And our world to look like.

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It may be a simple thing,

but it's one thing.

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It's one thing to celebrate.

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If that one thing to celebrate

is you getting out of bed.

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It's something that you chose to do

and is worth celebrating if that is

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in the space you are in right now.

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So I want to tell you.

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If you are sick and tired of feeling

stuck in the spirals or making

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decisions to make others happy and

comfortable, you don't have to be there.

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I want to invite you to schedule a

clear decision audit with me to help you

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get out of those spirals, to help you

come back to what really matters most.

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Thank you for joining me on this journey.

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If this episode resonated with

you, I would be so grateful if you

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clicked the plus sign to subscribe

and share it with a friend.

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I'll see you next time.

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Be well.