📺 Watch & Subscribe on YouTube

In this episode of "A Changed Mind", our host, David Bayer, dives into the real reasons behind clear, powerful communication. David discusses why effective speaking isn’t about perfect delivery or professional techniques, but rather about authenticity, self-trust, and speaking from lived experience.

David breaks down 11 key principles that reveal how confident speech naturally emerges when you’re grounded in who you are, focused in your thinking, and unafraid of honesty or silence.

=======

Available on Amazon: A Changed Mind: Go Beyond Self Awareness, Rewire Your Brain & Reengineer Your Reality

Download the Audiobook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCKF721M

=======

What We Explored This Episode

00:06:00 The Real Function of Speech & Why Most Struggle to be Heard

00:11:00 Speaking from Self vs. Approval; Effective Communicators

00:16:00 Verbal Identity and Saying Less for More Authority

Memorable Quotes

“Clear, powerful communication isn’t something you perform. It happens naturally when you’re comfortable with who you are, when you trust your own perspective, and when you’re willing to speak from lived truth instead of trying to manage how other people perceive you.”

“You cannot speak clearly if you don’t think clearly. Long, winding explanations usually signal unprocessed and unclear thinking.”

“The way you speak is never just about words. It’s a reflection of how you think, how you regulate yourself, and how honest you are with yourself internally.”

Connect With David

Interested in going deeper with us? Check out the following resources:

👉 FREE MIND HACK BOOK

Join our newsletter and get David’s free Mind Hack ebook and training: https://mindhackprogram.com/acm

👉 POWERFUL LIVING EXPERIENCE

Check out our annual live event The Powerful Living Experience: https://powerfullivingexperience.com

👉 NEED MORE SUPPORT?

Interested in coaching programs and more support?

https://davidbayer.com

👉 DAVID’S NEW BOOK

Check out ‘A Changed Mind’ on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1642939862

Check us out on your favorite social platforms:

LinkedIn - http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidrbayer

Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/davidrbayer

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/coachdavidbayer

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/davidbayer33

YouTube - / @davidbayer33

🎙️🎙️🎙️

Podcast Production Support by FullCast

Mentioned in this episode:

Now Available: A Changed Mind Book

Most people think speaking clearly and confidently is about learning how to talk better, better vocabulary, better delivery, or some kind of professional speaker training. But that's not what actually gives words power. And what makes someone compelling in how they speak has very little to do with technique and everything to do with where they're speaking from. Over the past couple years, my podcast has gone from zero listeners to over 2 million listeners a month. And when I read the comments, the feedback is incredibly consistent. People don't say you're such a great speaker. They say you're real and you make complex things simple. You're so articulate, and that tells me something important. Clear, powerful. Communication isn't something you perform. It's something that happens naturally when you're comfortable with who you are, when you trust your own perspective, and when you're willing to speak from lived truth instead of trying to manage how other people perceive you. So in this episode, I want to break this down in a very practical way. I'm going to walk you through 11 principles that explain why some people command attention the moment they speak and why others, even very intelligent people, struggle to be heard. And these principles apply regardless of your personality, regardless of how animated or calm you are, and regardless of what you're talking about. This isn't about becoming a better speaker. It's about removing the habits that drain power from your words so your natural clarity can come through. Let's get into it.

Welcome to A Changed Mind, a journey into the topics that matter to you most, from the neuroscience and spirituality of mindset and personal growth, to groundbreaking strategies for health, wealth, and relationships, to open and honest conversations about pressing global issues such as the environment, censorship, corporate capture, and democracy. Each and every episode reminds us of the certainty of the goodness of the future and provides the teachings, tools, and timeless wisdom inspiring you to create real, lasting change in your life and in the world. If you've been desiring a sanctuary for your spirit, a place to go to tune out the distraction, negativity and doom and gloom so that you can tap into the deep power, the vibrancy, and the potential you have inside. You're in the right place. Welcome to a Changed Mind.

All right, guys. What inspired me to record this episode was the fact that I see so many videos being viewed by so many people on how to speak clearly, how to speak confidently. And while I appreciate what those creators are expressing, I don't think it really gets to the root cause. And so I want to get to that with you today by going through these 11 principles. And we're going to dive right into it. Because when you actually understand these principles, regardless of your circumstance or situation or your personality, the words you speak will be heard and felt by others. And that's one of the most powerful influences you can have in the world. So principle number one. I want to talk about the real function of speech. I want to start by talking about what speech is, because this is where most people get it wrong. Because speech is not about transmitting information. It's about transmitting feeling. You know, science tells us that when someone is speaking, only about 10% of what is received is their words, while the other 90% is energetic information. It's how they feel, it's how they move, it's how they present themselves. It's their state of being when they're speaking. So before people process what you're saying, they feel how grounded you are. They feel whether or not you're regulated and how comfortable you are with yourself. And when you stop and think about it, this is the way that you receive other people. You know, you notice when someone feels frantic. You notice when someone feels disconnected. You can even notice, even though you may not know, that this is what it is when someone is speaking to you. But they're not fully present. They're not all there. They're thinking in their head. Maybe they're at the same time thinking about something that happened that they're carrying with them, or thinking about the future, or they're wondering around how you're receiving their information. And so your tone, your pacing, your pauses, even your silence, that's where the realness is. That's where the power is. You know, when I record my episodes, I don't always know what I'm going to say. There are moments where I have a pause like that one, because I'm not sure what I'm going to communicate. But that's what real human communication is. That's where trust is built. That's where you say, like, you know what? I want to hear what this person has to say. Because at a subconscious level, you know, it's coming from a place of realness. And especially in today's society where everything is AI, there's a fake social media phenomenon where everybody's portraying these fake lives on social media like we're starving for authenticity and realness. And so your operating system, your nervous system, at a subconscious level, beyond what you're aware of, is looking for that. It's thirsty for that. And that's why communication is really inseparable from identity. It's very important to start to learn who you are and be confident with yourself. Because it's that natural expression of your authenticity that creates power in your words, that opens people up to wanting to hear what it is you have to say. And principle number two, why most people struggle to be heard. The second principle is understanding why most people aren't actually heard, even when what they're saying is intelligent or correct. Now, number one, there's a tremendous amount of noise out there. We have access to more information than ever before. We're in this attention deficit environment. And so, yeah, I guess in a sense, you could argue that you sort of have to have a megaphone to be heard. But the truth is, is that most people are heard because they're speaking in order to be liked, in order to be understood, in order to be validated. And so then that creates an inauthenticity that shows up as explaining filler language. Nervous energy. You know, a lot of the pundits that you hear today, like the people in the political world, when you go and you watch their videos, there's a transition taking place. Because when we were all less conscious, all of their, like, verbose, overworded, overexcited, languaging was something that resonated with us. But if you're listening to this episode, like you're awakening, you're becoming more conscious, and so you're starting to see through that. And we can see that we don't need this filler language. We don't need this overexplaining, we don't need this over energizing. When you get to a place where you're at right now, you can feel the instability underneath the words of other people. And so weak communication is not about intelligence. There's a lot of information that's being portrayed in the media today. There's certainly, quote, unquote, intelligent people who are communicating it. But what you sense is that they don't actually trust what they're saying. And if they don't trust what they're saying, if they're trying to convince you of something, if they're trying to communicate in a way to get a result out of you, or if you're trying to communicate in a way that's trying to get a response out of someone else, that's weak communication. Because what that ultimately shows is that you don't trust yourself. You don't trust that what you're saying has inherent value. You're looking to communicate in a way that's almost like horse trading, where you're trying to set yourself up for saying something in a way that's gonna get a response from someone else, as opposed to in a way that's authentic to you. And when you think about great creative people or great artists, the best artists are those who are creating their artwork not for someone else's reaction, but because they truly love the expression of the art that they're expressing. When you truly love yourself and you trust yourself, you express from that place. And that becomes a powerful form of communication. Principle number three, there's a big shift, which is speaking from self versus speaking for approval. So this third principle is the shift that changes everything. It's speaking from who you are instead of speaking for the need for someone else's response. The moment you're managing how you're perceived, your words start to lose weight and you just think about it. You're spending so much time and energy trying to figure out what someone else needs to hear and how you can then back translate that into a way that you can communicate that you become ungrounded. You become ungrounded in yourself. But when you're grounded in yourself, your words carry authority without effort. You're not trying to convince anyone you're expressing something that you already trust. You know, when I first started recording this podcast, I actually launched the podcast like 10 years ago, and I recorded 10 episodes. And I remember at that time, I was trying to be like an influencer at that time by the name of Brendan Burchard. I was like, brendan Burchard has got such a huge following. And so I started to like embody his language, use his mannerisms. And even though you might look at it and on paper it looked good, it sounded smart, it wasn't me. And it's no surprise that very few people watched and very few people came back. And when I relaunched this podcast around two years ago, I decided I was just going to sit down and have conversations with people. I was going to talk about what I wanted to talk about. Of course I was going to do it in a way that had some level of best practices. We open up every show with a hook so that you understand what this episode is about and peak your attention and grab your attention and bring you in. But then we're moving into a conversation that's just authentic. It's the conversation that I want to have. I'm not having it because I need you to receive it in a particular way. I'm having it because this is who I am and because I'm having it from a place of healthy self centeredness. You love that because it's tapping into the centeredness that's inside of you. And so it's very, very important that you communicate not in a way that needs other people to respond in a particular way, but because it's an authentic expression of what you're passionate about. Principle number four. Principle number four is how the most effective communicators actually speak. And the fourth principle is usually the opposite of what people expect. Because effective communicators are not looking to impress. They're not rushing to be understood. They're having conversations as if they're sitting down over a cup of coffee, speaking to a friend, and they assume their words are worth hearing. Especially if you're a creator, you've got a podcast, you want to start becoming a speaker, you think about it. We don't have those conversations in the same way that we'd have a conversation with a friend. When I sit down with a friend, I'm not worried about whether or not my words are worth hearing. Do you like somebody that you know loves you, Somebody who you've got a deep friendship with? You're just having a conversation. There's no qualifying of your words. So effective communicators oftentimes speak less, but with more precision, and they allow silence. There are times when I record these episodes where I don't actually know what I'm gonna say, and I have to wait for the next level of information to come through. But I feel safe with you, even though now there's millions of people watching this show. I feel safe because I know you love me. I know you trust me. Otherwise, why would you be here? And so there are opportunities for me to actually pause. And in that pause, rather than forcing it with words that are not very powerful, I allow what needs to be spoken next to come through. And if you look at the most powerful communicators in the world, they're not rushed, they're not afraid of silence. They're not anxious because they're having a conversation as if they're having a conversation with a friend. Principle number five. Speech is a reflection of how you think. And this principle is simple, but it's critical. You cannot speak clearly if you don't think clearly. Long, winding explanations, they usually signal unprocessed and unclear thinking. When you hear people speak in a vague way, that's actually mirroring vague thought. And so it's not surprising today that so many people speak poorly and don't speak powerfully because our thoughts have become so fragmented. I mean, look at your experience on a day to day basis. Even today, in being in this personal growth work that I'm in and being much more quote unquote, evolved than I used to be years ago, I still find myself driving from point A to point B, having some conversation in my head, continuing to wrestle with something that happened in the morning that I didn't like, or anticipating something that might happen in the afternoon and I'm not present. And so what's happening is my thoughts are becoming fragmented across multiple dimensions. When you're present, you have a presence and in that there's a focus of your energy and so your thoughts are focused and your words become focused. So high level thinkers, they don't actually add complexity to things. They remove complexity with focused thought. I mentioned to you before that, and you can look in the comments if you're following along on YouTube, the number one thing that people say is, well, the top two things, David, you're so authentic and vulnerable. And number two, wow, you have such an ability to take complex concepts and break them down into ways that I can understand. And the reason for that is because when I'm sitting here with you having this conversation, I can't be anywhere else. Could you imagine if I was having this conversation but worrying about what maybe we were going to prepare for dinner tonight? Or thinking about how I may not have as much money in my bank account as I would like, or stressed out because I had an argument with my wife or a friend earlier in the day. This is one of the great advantages that trains me is when I'm here with you, I'm completely here with you. And as a result of that, there is a focus. The byproduct of that is focused thought and the byproduct of that is focused and clear speech. Principle number six, speaking from lived truth. So the sixth principle is why authenticity resonates so differently or so deeply. Rather, because when you speak from your own experience, you're speaking from memory. That's very different than speaking about ideas. I think a lot of people speak poorly right now and fail to show up with a speech that is resonant and powerful and that people want to listen to because we're not speaking from lived experience. Especially in today's sort of Twitter X world where it just takes a couple of types of the keyboard and a click of your mouse to post an opinion online. People have an opinion about everything, but most of our opinions are not about our lived experience. A lot of what I talk about on this show or at my live events or when I'm getting Hired to go speak and do a keynote is my lived experience. You know, what I wrote about in my book is my struggles with drug and alcohol and sex addiction. What it was like having two homes in foreclosure and a failed business. The challenges that I had, feeling like I was alone and I was never going to be enough. I can speak clearly about those things because I'm just speaking about my lived experience. And that's why it lands differently. When you're speaking from your lived experience, you're not theorizing, you're reporting from reality. And so this is another really important aspect of learning how to speak confidently, clearly, and powerfully is spend time speaking from your own experience, not hypothesizing about what could be in someone else's reality. Principle number seven. This is where I want to talk about your verbal identity. Principle seven is understanding that everyone has a verbal identity, whether you've chosen it intentionally or not. And so what happens is, is that most people, we borrow language unconsciously from our environment, and that creates really generic communication. We start saying things that other people say because we start thinking things that other people think. This is why your environment is so important. You know, science tells us and epigenetics explains that if you actually take one of your cells in your body and you put it in a different environment, that cell will start to respond to that environment. And so you can think about it as your body or your skin is the cell membrane, and inside of you is a database. But that database starts to become reprogrammed based on the environment that you're in. And so we get to a place where we don't know which words fit us and which words don't. And maybe you've noticed that there are times where you say something, you're like, why did I say that? Like, that's not even me. And the reason is it's become a habit. But high level communicators are selective. They know which words fit them and which don't. And over time, as this becomes practiced, you build a new nervous system. You build a new communication matrix inside of you. And this starts to create a very recognizable verbal presence. I think that's, again, one of the reasons why this show has become so popular is that it has a uniqueness. A recognizable verbal presence is very much like being authentic. And the good news is, is that you have inside of you a recognizable verbal presence. You are unique. There is no one else on this planet that has had your lived experience that has exactly your nervous system that perceives reality. Exactly the way that you perceive it. And the world needs you to share from your lived experience so that we can learn from it. And as you do, you start to develop your own unique verbal identity. Principle number eight. Why saying less creates more authority? So this eighth principle is that authority comes from restraint, not dominance. Now again, it may not seem like that when you look at the people that we've pedestaled as influencers, especially in this hyper masculine, Navy Seal, politically and division driven environment of YouTube and Instagram and Twitter, but the truth is, is that authority actually comes from restraint. And we can look at this in terms of the great teachers who created real, true, long lasting movements in the world with but a few exceptions. Jesus showed a tremendous amount of restraint. You can imagine how patient he was with the human beings that he was trying to enlighten and educate at that time. You know, human beings that ultimately turned around and persecuted him. It's the same thing with Moses, who led the Hebrews out of slavery. And the restraint that was shown rather than the dominance of dealing with the fact that they didn't want to go to the uncertainty of the promised land, they'd rather be taken back to Pharaoh. You look at Gandhi, Gandhi's entire movement was based on restraint. So restraint is really important. And what happens is that over explaining is the opposite of restraint. And over explaining signals doubt. Repeating yourself starts to water down what it is you have to say. But silence has a tremendous impact on people. Our tendency is to be uncomfortable with the silence, to not be restrained and to try to fill the silence. But the truth is, is when you pause, people lean in and when you rush, people tune out. And because of our personal insecurities and because of the environment that we're in and because of the way that we pedestalize other people who are rushed and leave no space for the words that they speak to land, we start to model that and so we become ineffective communicators. Principle number nine is the body's role in speech. So the ninth principle is that your body communicates before your words do. And again, this is in the science of presentation. The words you speak have the smallest amount of impact on an audience. But how you feel and how you manage yourself physically is actually what people read and what people receive. So it's important to understand that your posture affects your tone. Nervous movement starts to distract from meaning when you're not looking at someone directly in the eyes. It's basically signaling that that person is not important to you. But a regulated body naturally slows speech, so it's important to understand that it's not just the words we speak, it's the way we manage our physiology. Presence is physical before it's verbal. Principle number 10, speech as self leadership. So the 10th principle is that how you speak reveals how you lead yourself. Most of us avoid the truth. We avoid the truth of confrontation. We don't want to be confrontational. We don't actually speak how we feel. And over time, this starts to erode trust in yourself, and that begins to soften clarity. It starts to create confusion because you're not taking a powerful material stand for what you believe in the world. And so clear speech requires what I would call internal honesty. First, reconciling again within yourself who you are, what you're here to say, what your truth is, and not needing to speak it to get a response from other people because it deserved to be spoken. The point is, leadership begins internally before it even becomes visible through your words. Principle number 11. What changes when your speech is aligned? So the 11th principle is what happens when all of this comes together, when your words stop leaking and they start landing. What happens is people listen without needing to be convinced. In fact, your words become so vibrationally powerful that people will become unconsciously drawn into your presence to hear what you have to say. Conversations become shorter and they become more effective, and your presence feels calmer and clearer and more grounded. Not because you're trying, but because you're now aligned. You're now complete, you're now whole. You're not fragmenting yourself across reality. The way you speak is never just about words. It's a reflection of how you think. It's how you regulate yourself and how honest you are with yourself internally. And when all of those things align, that's how communication naturally becomes simpler, slower, more precise. Not because you're trying to sound confident, but because there's nothing to prove. So speaking clearly isn't about adopting a Persona or memorizing techniques. There's a lot of trainings out there that tell you that that's the case, but from a root cause level, it's actually congruence and coherence. I've never done professional speaker training, but I've spent a lot of time removing the habits that have diluted my presence and that prevent my words from coming from truth instead of fear. So I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I love sharing it with you. If this resonated, start paying attention this week to how you speak, when you're under pressure and when you're unsure or when silence feels uncomfortable. Those are the moments where real refinement happens and as your internal clarity grows, your external communication has to follow. So if you love this episode, do me a favor, share it with somebody who needs to hear it. If you're following along on YouTube, leave me a comment. I try to read and respond to as many as I can. If you haven't subscribed yet, do that too. If you're listening on the audio platforms, please leave me a rating and review. My team and I absolutely love to see those as they come through. And if you haven't yet jumped on over to davidbear.com, subscribe to the newsletter, Be a part of this community. Get a four part training series that'll take you deeper into this conversation around self mastery and I love you so much. Thank you for being here with me on the journey and I will see you in the next episode. Hey, it's David. One more thing.

If you want to go even deeper on everything we've talked about on today's episode, don't forget to jump over to www.DavidBear.com. you can find the link in the show notes and subscribe to our newsletter A couple of times a week. I'm going to be sending you the latest episodes that we've released along with additional free trainings. You'll get immediate access to my free Mind Hack ebook and go even deeper into all the tools, the technologies, the frameworks that have helped tens of thousands of people establish a changed mind. Don't forget to jump on over to the site and I will see you in the next episode.