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Orgasms happen in your brain
Episode 4824th November 2021 • I Totally Relate! • Rissy and Shelbs
00:00:00 01:06:27

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We are so thrilled to be bringing you this episode today. This episode is the live recording of our Book Club conversation, discussing "Come as you are" by Dr. Emily Nagoski. This book is a game changer, and we feel that it is a necessary read for all sexually active humans. We hosted several women for this conversation, and we are so excited for you to hear from Shelby, Allison, Linnette, Dawn, Daulton, Kenna, Tava, Korbey, Terin, and Rissy.

We start with a brief overview of the book and what to expect if you haven't had the chance to read it yet. We then quickly jump into our favorite things about the text and the deep learnings we drew from reading the pages.

Just to start off, we jump right into the concept Emily Nagoski brings home in her book: YOU ARE NORMAL! Ok then, let's all just start setting down all the unnecessary baggage we carry around wondering if we are weird or broken, we are not... we are normal. We all have the same parts, organized differently. We jump right into anatomy and even mention talking about our anatomy with our partners. We spend quite some time talking about the garden analogy and how helpful that has been in allowing us to dispel untrue ideologies about ourselves, our bodies, and our sexuality.

The other point in the book that we spend quite some time on, is the three messages we receive about our sexuality and bodies. The moral message: you are evil (slut shaming), the medical message: you are diseased (something is wrong with you, you are broken), and the media message: you are inadequate (comparing ourselves to others). None of these serve us well, and we all are taking in parts of these messages as we are inundated with them.

We dip into the brakes and accelerator concept, and how this has been helpful in allowing us to understand our own bodies and helps us to create the right context we need in order to feel safe enough to be vulnerable enough to deepen that emotional intimacy with our partners.

Along with the brakes and the context, we discuss the importance of completing the stress cycle, and the key role that self care, self love, and self acceptance play in truly being able to not judge ourselves and really lean in to our sexuality with curiosity in a safe environment.

We cannot express enough how important and influential these conversations have been on us personally, as your hosts. We truly hope this is the start of the conversation, and that as you listen along, you feel safe and feel free to have conversations like this with your loved ones. Everyone is doing it, it's time we kick the stigma to the curb and have open and freeing conversations that lead us closer to our best and most pleasure filled lives.

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