You've done hard things before. You just forgot.
So, if you listened to the last episode, you know we said goodbye to a version of you that worked really hard and finished her job.
So today, I want to talk about something else you’ve quietly misplaced: certainty.
Because here’s what I know about you.
You’re not actually doubting yourself because you can’t do hard things. Because I know you can.
You’re doubting yourself because you’ve become so familiar with what you’ve already accomplished that you stopped counting it.
You forgot that there was a time when your current life was just a wish.
A hope.
A quiet dream.
A “maybe one day.”
Think about it.
Remember that hot guy?
The one everyone wanted.
He’s your husband now.
Remember that car you used to cut out of magazines?
Like full-on collage mode.
Tape on the wall.
Dreaming.
Now you drive it and complain when the gas light comes on.
Remember when you used to think,
“If I could just get my life together…”
And now?
You’re in the relationship you once hoped for.
You live in a home you once dreamed of.
You do things daily that once felt intimidating or impossible.
You make decisions with a confidence you didn’t use to have.
You rely on a level of stability that past-you would’ve cried over.
And yet… here’s the wild part.
You’re so familiar with all of it now, you barely notice it.
You don’t wake up thinking,
“Wow. I made this happen.”
You wake up thinking,
“I need more coffee.”
And that’s exactly where certainty gets lost.
Not because something is wrong with you, but because you forgot to count the evidence.
Here’s what I want you to really hear:
You are already living inside things you once prayed for.
You didn’t manifest them by being perfect.
You didn’t wait until you were confident.
You didn’t have some secret mindset formula.
You wanted them badly enough that you paid attention.
You talked about them.
You thought about them.
You imagined them.
You put yourself in rooms that scared you a little.
Around people who stretched you.
In environments that made you level up.
And then your brain did what it’s wired to do.
It filtered for what mattered.
That’s not magic.
That’s biology.
Your brain has a built-in system that says,
“Oh, this is important? Cool. I’ll help you find it.”
That’s why when you want something badly enough, you start noticing opportunities you swear weren’t there before.
They were. You just weren’t looking yet.
But here’s where it flips. Most of us accidentally train our brains to focus on what’s wrong.
What’s missing?
What’s stressful?
What we’re scared of screwing up.
So, of course, everything feels harder. So let me pull you back to something simple.
When you picture the parent you’re becoming, what comes up?
Not the Pinterest version.
Not the perfect one.
The real one. Calmer. More present. Less reactive. More confident. More at peace with herself.
That version of you isn’t waiting on a breakthrough.
She’s being built in moments you don’t post about.
Every time you pause instead of snapping.
Every time you repair instead of shutting down.
Every time you choose connection over control.
That’s not small.
That’s everything.
And if you could rewind to past-you, even a year ago, she would be stunned by how you handle things now.
She dreamed of this version of you.
You just forgot she existed.
Some of these were big dreams.
Some were tiny ones.
But every single one of them was once NOT real.
And yet… here you are.
So let me ask you something gently:
What do you have today that you once dreamed about and now barely notice?
That question alone can reinstate more certainty than any motivational quote ever will.
Because certainty isn’t something you manufacture.
It’s something you remember.
So let’s demystify this for a moment.
You didn’t get here by accident.
There was a pattern.
Every time you’ve ever achieved something meaningful, one of three things happened first:
Desire became strong enough.
Pain became loud enough.
Or clarity finally cut through the noise.
At some point, you said,
“Not another second like this.”
And then something shifted.
You focused.
Not perfectly.
Not constantly.
But consistently enough.
You talked about it.
You thought about it.
You imagined it.
You moved toward it.
You put yourself in new environments.
Around new people.
With new conversations.
And here’s where the science comes in.
Your brain has something called the Reticular Activating System, the RAS.
It’s the filter that decides what gets your attention.
That’s why when you decide you want a certain car, you suddenly see it everywhere.
It didn’t multiply overnight.
Your awareness did.
Focus plus emotional intensity tells your brain,
“Find it. Create it!”
But here’s the problem.
Most of us accidentally train our RAS on fear instead of possibility.
On stress instead of direction.
On what could go wrong instead of what we’re building.
So, of course, everything feels harder than it needs to.
When you picture the parent you’re becoming, what qualities rise up?
Not achievements.
Not goals.
Ways of being.
Calm.
Presence.
Confidence.
Peace of mind.
Patience.
Here’s the truth:
Those qualities aren’t waiting in the future.
They’re being built right now, quietly.
Every time you choose connection over control.
Neuroscience calls this experience-dependent plasticity.
I call it proof.
Now go back for a moment.
Months ago.
Years ago.
That version of you wasn’t failing.
She was learning.
She was carrying a lot.
Trying things without a blueprint.
Doing the best she could with the tools she had.
She doesn’t need your judgment.
She deserves your respect.
Because without her, you wouldn’t be here.
Imagine her watching you today.
Would she be proud of how you show up now?
Of the boundaries you hold?
Of the moments you choose differently?
There was a time she dreamed of being exactly where you are.
And that matters.
Before we close, I want you to slow down with me.
Thoughts are just clouds passing through the sky.
You don’t need to chase them.
Feel your breath.
Your heartbeat.
Your body holding you without effort.
Step outside today if you can.
Notice the sky.
The air.
The ordinary beauty we hurry past.
Because life isn’t happening in your to-do list.
It’s happening here.
And your future self would give anything to feel this exact moment again.
So tonight, ask yourself this:
What did I do today that Future Me will thank me for?
Even if it felt small.
Especially if no one saw it.
You’ve done hard things before.
You’re doing them again.
And you’re doing better than you think.
