17 : Importance of a Positive Mindset in Homeschool

Let's talk about the importance of maintaining a positive mindset in homeschooling. Having the right mindset is crucial for the overall well-being of the family and the success of homeschooling. I encourage you to focus on positive thoughts, cultivate gratitude, and embrace a growth mindset. Here are practical tips and strategies for developing a positive mindset and the impact it can have on family life.

Key Points

[00:00:00] Introduction and Importance of Positive Mindset

• Amy introduces herself as a homeschool mom and emphasizes the significance of mindset in homeschooling.
• She highlights the negative impact of a poor mindset on family culture.
• References Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:2 to emphasize the importance of focusing on positive thoughts.
• Discusses the challenge of shifting from negative to positive thoughts throughout the day.

[00:03:32] The Power of Positivity and Gratitude

• Explains how negativity can loom large in our minds and affect our overall outlook.
• Uses toothpaste commercials as an example of framing products in a positive light.
• Discusses the significance of consciously choosing positive thoughts and focusing on the good.
• Shares the idea of keeping a gratitude journal to cultivate a positive mindset.
• Recommends writing down daily blessings and expressing gratitude to God.

[00:07:18] Personal Experience and Overcoming Challenges

• Shares a personal story of breaking her arm and finding gratitude in the midst of the difficult situation.
• Describes the importance of leaning on God and finding gratitude even in challenging times.
• Encourages listeners to seek support through counseling or mentorship if needed.

[00:09:40] Mindset and Growth Mindset

• Differentiates between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.
• Discusses common negative self-talk and self-limiting beliefs.
• Encourages replacing fixed mindset with a growth mindset that embraces challenges and learning.
• Provides ten tips for building a growth mindset.

[00:16:11] Choosing Positive Thoughts and Mindset

• Explores the impact of thoughts on our lives and achievements.
• Encourages self-reflection and accountability for one's thoughts.
• Advocates for embracing a positive attitude and gratitude as a form of worship.
• Cites Romans 12:2 and urges listeners to renew their minds daily.

[00:20:09] Mother Culture and Edifying Input

• Introduces the concept of mother culture and the importance of cultivating one's heart and soul.
• Emphasizes the significance of choosing edifying content and avoiding negative influences.
• Recommends incorporating positive practices like reading, listening to uplifting podcasts, and focusing on gratitude.
• Introduces Scola cards with quotes and Bible verses to encourage positive thinking.

[00:22:18] Creating a Positive Family Culture

• Highlights the impact of a positive mindset on the family and overall home environment.
• Encourages focusing on the joys and blessings of family life.
• Urges listeners to choose happiness and resist negative thoughts.
• Recognizes the daily work and effort required to maintain a positive mindset.

[00:23:22] Conclusion and Encouragement

• Concludes by expressing support and encouragement for listeners.
• Encourages feedback and shares excitement to hear about positive changes in listeners' lives.
• Offers words of affirmation and assures listeners they are not alone in their homeschooling journey.

Resources

For more resources for your homeschool journey, visit us at graceinhomeschool.com. Don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts for more homeschool tips.

The enemy certainly wants more than anything for us to be discontent

and angry and upset, and not smiling at our husbands or our children.

Hi friends, and welcome.

I'm your host AmyElizSmith.

I'm a homeschool mom of three and have homeschooled each from the start.

While I have a master's in elementary ed, I want to teach other mamas that you

don't need a fancy degree to have the passion and knowledge to successfully

educate your children from home.

I hope to bring you encouragement to jump in and start your homeschool journey and

provide my absolute best recommendations to help you begin your homeschool journey.

Thanks for joining us along for this crazy, messy,

grace-filled homeschool ride.

Welcome friends.

I am so excited to talk to you today about staying in the right mindset

in your home and for your homeschool.

So this may seem a bit of an off the wall topic, but please bear with me.

We can be doing the right things, using the right curriculums, finding

a group of like-minded parents to get a group together, or we can find the

right co-op, go to the right church.

But if we aren't in the right mindset, our kids will be able to tell and our

family culture as a whole will suffer.

Now I have struggled with this and I have been there.

I struggle with this daily.

I am in the trenches with you too, and I have to work hard to maintain a

positive attitude and protect my thoughts from the negativity or really what

the evil one wants my thoughts to be.

This is not silly stuff.

This is so, so important.

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is

true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever

is lovely, whatever is admirable.

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things."

It becomes harder to shift our day from bad to good in the day

to day, and I am there with you.

It is difficult.

Let me just give you a scenario, which I'm sure all of us have experienced.

You decide you're gonna wake up early, you're even gonna read

your Bible, you're gonna maybe start your fresh cup of coffee.

It would be tea for me, but your toddler or your baby wakes up, or your

child wakes up and interrupts that time and you then you are just grumpy.

You are upset because you've craved that time.

You actually need that time, and then you go into the rest of the day.

What was supposed to be lovely and pure and it festers

into anger and bad thoughts.

Oh, that's so hard.

Friends.

Negativity when it looms in someone's mind, it's really, really hard

to get out of a negative thought.

Actually advertisers, they know this, they know to frame their products in a positive

way rather than in a negative way.

Just real quickly, toothpaste commercials, they often say something

like 95% cavity busting effectiveness.

They say that, they frame it in the positive because they know the negative

would loom large in your mind and make you not wanna buy their product.

If it said, "Only 5% chance of getting cavities if you use our product," you

definitely wouldn't wanna buy that brand of toothpaste and just like that in our

lives, the negativity can loom so large and it's hard for us to get out of it.

It's hard to see the upside of things when we're not purposely willing ourselves

and praying to God to help us stay in those positive thoughts in that mindset.

Colossians 3:2 says, "Set your mind on the things above.

Nod on the things that are on earth."

I know I gave you this scenario of a morning gone awry when you

wanted to have a quiet time, maybe after very little sleep.

That can be a small situation compared to what many of us could be

experiencing, whether it's tragedy in your family or long-term sickness

or disease or illness, or if you're facing an injury in your family.

But please feel encouraged.

Ephesians 4:23 says, "But you have not so learned Christ.

If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus

that you put off concerning your former conduct .The old man which grows corrupt

according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind.

And that you put on the new man, which was created according to God

in true righteousness and holiness."

These verses are talking about putting away corruption and being holy just as

our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is holy.

Paul is directing Christians to renew their minds daily and to put

off all of the corruption that's going on in Rome during that time.

We can do the same.

We can put off the corruption in our society and put off the things

that are not of the Lord, but we can also put on renewed minds and

being cheerful and happy and thankful in our hearts and in our minds.

Now, our salvation comes through Christ alone by grace alone in faith alone.

But Paul is here giving us instruction on how we can live.

This is truly for our benefit.

Renewing our minds includes thinking about the pure and the right, and the lovely and

admirable and excellent and praiseworthy.

This takes work and time and effort to see the upside of things and not focus on the

negative, like that negative commercial.

Advertisers know, and we should take a note from their book that positivity is

harder to focus on than the negative.

It takes more to walk away from our sinful nature and from those sinful

thoughts, our minds and our brains need that practice to focus on the good.

So let's think about what happened today that was good.

Today was a blessing from God, and we can be thankful in that.

We can see the glass as half full rather than half empty.

I know that that's such a, a phrase that everyone uses, but it's so true.

A really tangible way we can use this mentality is to create a

gratitude journal and remember our wins, express gratefulness to God.

Thank Him for the little and the big moments.

I like to use a gratitude journal, and it doesn't have to be pretty, it

doesn't have to be an expensive journal.

It can be just be an ugly notebook.

But I like to write a few things down.

What happened today?

I was able to do a little gardening, or the children responded when I

asked them to clean up, or my husband and I had a little time together.

All the things that you wanna be grateful to God for, you can write

them down, and that can really help us cultivate that positive mindset that

we need and that God calls us to have.

So I wanna share something personal.

With you and I actually broke my arm nine years ago.

It was a freak accident.

I had a three-year-old and a one-year-old.

The one-year-old was sleeping at the time, and the three-year-old

was yelling in his room, and I did not want him to wake up the baby.

So I ran.

To go get him and cuz he was in his room and I ran through the kitchen

and I slipped on my pant leg and I fell in this very weird way.

And my elbow right above my elbow joint, my left humerus, it broke in half.

I mean, this was obviously very awful and went to the hospital, had to

wait a couple days for my surgery.

I had excruciating pain, excruciating physical therapy

for almost a year actually, and I still don't have full range of

motion, but I got most of it back.

And that, that was a bigger episode.

That wasn't just, oh, the kids disrupted my quiet time.

But I chose, at that time I wrote 85 Things I'm Thankful For on my blog.

I had a blog even at that time, nine years ago, and I just wanna read

a couple of these things to you.

Number one, I wrote, "Thank you, God.

It was me and not my son, who foolishly ran through the kitchen and tripped

and fell over and broke my elbow."

Two, "That both of my children were safe in their rooms when I fell and

our neighbor came to care for them."

Three, "That I was able to calm myself safely and grab

my phone and put my legs up."

Thank you for 911.

Thank you for the frozen peas on my head.

Thank you for pain medication and that I live in in a culture that allows it.

All these things.

So I took that big, huge moment, that incredibly difficult time,

and I chose to lean on God.

I think a lot of us do that when we can either turn to God or completely turn

away from Him in those really tragic times, but also we can turn to him in

the mundane moments where it may not seem like there's a lot of exciting

things going on right now and we can get trapped in just the day to day, but God

seeks for us to keep our minds on Him.

We still need Him in the day-to-day.

He wants us to call out to him, to cry out to Him, and He wants

us to renew our minds, transform our minds every single day.

And I can tell you, being grateful and having that gratitude journal

can really help us do that.

So I started out this episode talking about mindset.

It's so important on how we conduct our day-to-day lives and our families.

When we have the correct mindset, we'll focus on the important

things and our family can achieve their goals, achieve your daily

goals, achieve your family goals.

But when you're in the wrong mindset and you're only remembering the

negative, this can really hold us back from our achievements

and really from our happiness.

Let's just take a quick look at what the definitions of these things are.

A growth mindset is the beliefs that an individual's most basic

abilities and skills can be developed through dedication and hard work.

Brains and talent are just the starting point.

Conversely, a fixed mindset is the belief that an individual's

basic abilities and skills, their intelligence and their talents are just

fixed traits and cannot be changed.

Now, you may have heard this concept before, but I wanna jump

in just a little bit further.

How many of us have said to ourselves, I'm not good enough.

I'm not smart enough.

I'll never get it.

I can never be as good as so-and-so.

I know that I've said this to myself before.

I've been really hard to myself and my thoughts.

Have you ever thought, oh, I just wasn't born with that ability or talent or gift?

And many of us choose to not try new things because of our fear of failure.

If we are honest with ourselves, so many of us have thought these

things and felt these things.

This is a fixed mindset.

This can also relate to if you've even decided to jump into

homeschool, this may resonate with you because you feel like, wow, I

could never be as good as so-and-so.

They just are naturally good at homeschool.

They just are naturally patient with their children.

I could never do that.

Let's try to replace that fixed mindset of negativity and bad attitude and

failure with one that seizes the day and thinks I am stronger because of this.

And hard is actually good and I can figure this out.

Here are some ways to build a growth mindset.

Be 100% accountable and accept responsibility.

Do not be concerned with what others have.

Stand out and be willing to learn and grow.

Don't focus on our failures.

Do the work it takes to learn and put in the time to learn.

Do what you love for the people you love.

Don't focus solely on material, possessions, wealth, money, or status.

Instead, focus on the intangibles that matter.

Not being obsessed with perfection and being willing

to learn and jump into things.

And not always questioning yourself, being grateful for what you have, and

exploring and embracing the moment.

Lastly, being self-aware and understanding your purpose as a mother

and a home educator, knowing that you were doing the most noble work

there could be educating your children and raising them up in the Lord.

I'll have this list of 10 growth mindset tips.

If they've resonated with you, I'll have a list of them in the

show notes so that you can print it out and think about this further.

Think about what are your roadblocks here?

What has stopped you from taking a step towards homeschool or towards a decision

in your homeschool, or really just having a positive attitude in your home.

So I'd really encourage you to grab a gratitude journal and encourage

you to write down that gratefulness that you have to the Lord.

In a future episode, we're gonna be talking about goals, daily goals,

weekly goals, and monthly goals for your family and for your life.

And that's also gonna really help you think forward rather than just

staying in one small area and just being in your thoughts and that

having that negativity fester.

This I believe, can help you get out of that slump.

And that is hard.

And mama, if you are in the trenches and you are up all night and you don't

have any sleep, take care of yourself.

Take those naps.

In those moments take care of yourselves, but we can change our mindset.

And be grateful for those moments, even in the middle of the night that we're

allowed to care for our little ones.

I can tell you now that I don't have a little one who needs me in the middle

of the night that I miss those little baby squishes and those hugs and those

kisses in the middle of the night.

Let me give you an analogy from Rory Vaden, who is a New York Times bestseller.

I love his books.

He had this great analogy about storms and when there's a planned or an unplanned

storm in your life, how will you face it?

So he explains that everyone has storms in their lives.

Now, these could be little, little things, even though sleep is not a little thing,

but being up at night with your child or your children waking up too early.

Those are little but bigger things like illness or tragedy.

He talks about how are we gonna respond to these storms and when

do we respond to these storms?

So in Colorado there are both buffalo and cows, and he takes

a look at how do buffalos and cows respond to actual storms.

When storms come, cows can sense that a storm is coming from a specific direction

and they will run in the opposite direction to get away from the storm.

But because cows are pretty slow and they're not running fast enough, they

are actually gonna be in the storm longer, and it becomes more painful.

And more frustrating.

In contrast, the buffalos know the storm is coming and they decide to

charge directly toward the storm.

When they run at the storm, they are minimizing the amount

of time they're in the storm.

So that minimizes their pain and their frustration during the storm.

This is the same storm, and Rory goes on to say that this is a

great metaphor for all of us in many different places in life.

How do we respond to our storms and when do we respond to our storms?

What a great way to think about our mindset.

Are we looking at the storms in our life?

Are we experiencing the storm in our life and facing them head on, knowing

that God is with you, he is on your side, he is here for your good, or

are you just festering in the storm?

So upset, blaming others, and that would be the fixed mindset that I

would encourage you to get out of.

I know that I need a growth mindset.

I need to improve my thoughts.

So they stay on the Lord and they stay on thankfulness for

all that He's bestowed upon me.

Can the way we think about our circumstances and ourselves and

our abilities, shape our lives?

Absolutely.

The way we think not only affects the way we feel, it also affects what we achieve.

Whether we're gonna stick to our good habits, or we're gonna develop new skills.

Many people have that negative inner voice that acts against God's plans

for us and they can't get out of it.

Do you know someone like this who is always complaining or blaming?

It's so sad and frankly negative people are hard to be around.

And if we're honest, we want close friends who are encouraging

to us and positive with us.

My prayer would be that if you need additional support, you could seek out a

counselor or seek out an older woman, a mentor who could walk you through this.

We don't get to choose our circumstances, but we do get to choose our thoughts

and make choices based on our thoughts when we are in those circumstances.

In the next episode, we talk about those family habits and small and

daily habits that can help change our lives for the better and

create a better home environment.

That correlates directly with being willing to grow and change and being

positive even when things are hard.

And I don't negate that at all.

There are hard things, but again, if we go into them knowing that we

can change, that we can overcome our lives, will be all for the better, and

our children will benefit immensely.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by

the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what the will of God is.

That which is good and acceptable and perfect."

We can change our thoughts daily and be thinking on Christ,

remembering to serve others and have happy hearts while doing it.

That's what I tell my children all the time when I give them a

task, when they have work to do.

I say, you need to do this and do it with a happy heart first time,

every time, and with a happy heart.

And I need to tell myself the same thing.

I need to not do a task begrudgingly and not have a negative attitude,

and be grateful and thankful.

God has been really working in my own heart with this, and in that, several

months ago, I just, God struck me about the washing of the dishes actually, and

I never really enjoyed washing dishes.

I felt a little bit angry about the dishes.

Now my, my husband works very hard and he often does do dishes.

He is an excellent cook, so he is helping around the house certainly.

But I just got irritated by doing the dishes and God has

changed my heart around that.

Washing my dishes is worship.

It is a form of me.

Serving my family and I can have an attitude of grace and worship

towards the Lord during that time.

In a way that I've helped cultivate that time of doing

dishes is I have a Bible verse.

Right there at my windowsill and it's 365 verses.

So you turn it every day and you have a new Bible verse.

I love that.

Another thing is I do is I put on my Williams Sonoma apron, which I love

putting on, and then I also will listen to an edifying podcast or book that I'm

reading or even a novel so that it can become a fun time and I'm not upset.

I actually like those 10 minutes.

I get to wash all the pots and pans and have a couple quiet moments.

Now I don't have babies and toddlers right now, so I can do that without

worrying about safety issues or anything.

But right there too, here's a call to action.

Think about what is edifying you.

If we have good things coming into our lives, we will be able

to have those things come out.

But if we have garbage in, garbage is gonna come out.

So what is coming into our lives?

Are we, first thing in the morning, are we on our screens?

Are we scrolling?

Are we listening to things that aren't great or watching

programs that aren't great?

Are we reading our Bible before we're jumping on the screens?

Those things are so important.

We truly can learn from Charlotte Mason, who called this mother culture.

Mother Culture refers to mothers cultivating our own hearts and souls,

making sure that they're being edified with good books, with literature, with

poetry, and making sure that we ourselves are learning alongside our children.

That has just been such a joy to me when, as I'm trying to dig into some classics.

John Ruskin, author of the King of the Golden River from the 19th century.

He said, "Make yourselves nest of pleasant thoughts, bright fancies, faithful

sayings, treasure houses of precious and restful thoughts, which care cannot

disturb nor poverty takeaway from you.

House is built without hands for your souls to live in."

It is hard, but it is so worth it, friends, to replace our frustrations

and replace our complaints with gratitude, making it simple, making

that attitude shift going forward.

I have also created for you some scola cards.

And scola is actually a Greek word for leisure, and it comes

from the root word school.

So it means restful learning.

And these Scola cards are some beautiful quotes and bible verses

of encouragement that can hopefully help you through your journey.

You could put it up at your window sill or put it above your sink so

we can have positive attitudes while dishwashing and just be grateful

in general that we get to be here.

We get to be here with our children, reading with them.

Day-to-day washing, laundry, doing all the things.

Homeschool is hard, but we are doing eternal work.

Our minds can be either positive or negative.

The choice is up to you.

The enemy certainly wants more than anything for us to be discontent

and angry and upset, and not smiling at our husbands or our children.

But instead we can be happy about all the messes and the crumbs and

the too many shoes on the floor, and the sticky hands and the sticky

fingers, and even the permanent marker that has made its way to the walls.

We don't have to live in a prison.

We can be happy.

Our homes can be full of laughter and joy, and it truly comes from, asking God to

help us have that positive growth mindset.

I'm here for you friend in the tough, and it is tough.

It's important to acknowledge, that we can make conscious

choices to improve our mindset.

And I hope this has been encouragement to you, your spouse,

your children, your family.

Your whole family culture will be encouraged and they will see the

difference and you'll be grateful.

It is daily work, hourly work, minute by minute work to just submit ourselves

to the Lord and be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

Friends, I can't wait to hear hopefully how some of these positive

changes have uplifted your homes and helped your homeschool and

uplifted your lives for the better.

I am cheering you on, friend, and we will see you next time.