In Episode 4 of Journey Through the Song, Sam and Debbie explore how loving words, thoughtful presence, and intentional reassurance strengthen marriage. As the wedding celebration unfolds in the Song of Solomon, this episode highlights the power of affirmation and companionship—and how romantic communication reflects Christ’s love for His bride.

Checkout these other Family Fortress Ministries Podcasts:

TIME FOR THREE daily couples devotional: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen

RELATIONSHIP REALITIES: https://relationship-realities.captivate.fm/listen

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family Podcast.

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

We're so excited to be back with you again this week as we continue our journey through the Song of Songs, the Song of Solomon, and what an amazing book this is, an amazing song that God has given us in the word of God.

Now we're going to dive right back in.

We left the bride at the palace on the wedding day in the last session.

So she's having all these different random thoughts.

And so she's having another thought and we're going to pick it up.

In verse seven, she says, tell me, O Thou, whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flocks to rest at noon.

Now, you might be thinking, what is she talking about?

What kind of thought is that?

She's thinking about King Solomon.

She's getting ready to marry him.

And she's thinking about, how much time am I going to get to spend with the king.

She's worried about his occupation because she knows the king's duties will be a lot and he's going to be gone a lot, and she may not get to see him very much.

And so she will.

She's concerned about some spending time with him and being with him.

And see, she's a country girl, so she sees him as a shepherd, that his occupation, he is the shepherd of the flock of all of the people of Israel.

And she's putting this in terms that she understands herself.

And, you know, we don't have this situation because we're together almost 24 7.

And when Sam's responsibilities in the ministry take him out of town, I go with him.

So during the day, if he's sitting at his desk and I want to hug and I want to kiss and I want a little attention, I just walk over there and interrupt, right?

Interrupt whatever he's doing.

But she's thinking, you know, I just got here.

I don't know anybody.

Solomon is the only person I know.

And I'm going to be here all day all by myself or maybe even for days at a time.

If he goes out of town and she's thinking, what if I want to talk to him?

What if I want to see you?

What if I just want to hug and a kiss?

How will I know where to find you?

So that's a very valid Concern for a wife to have that kind of thinking potential.

Wife, she hadn't married yet, but she's thinking, I might not be able to find him.

But her thought continues in verse seven, because she says, for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?

And that's a very interesting thought she's having.

And you have to understand, when it says turneth aside, what that refers to is, in that day and time, a woman who would be out in the streets like a loose woman looking for a man, like a prostitute might be.

She says, if I can't find you, I don't want to be out in the streets looking for you and ruin my reputation.

Like other women who would be looking for a man.

Or even your friends see me out in the streets looking for you and start thinking, why is she out here looking for some man and gossip about me?

She's really concerned about her reputation, and that's a valid concern.

Listen, and so how do you think God wants us to apply that?

Well, you know, there's several considerations I think, that we have to think about in regard to that.

The first one would be that girls shouldn't be out chasing guys.

I think that's kind of showing us that.

And it makes me think back to when our boys became teenagers and we started getting calls at our house from young ladies and that we never expected.

And the phone start ringing off the hook.

And it got to a point, all night long, we had to say to these young ladies, listen, we've got a rule in our house that you cannot call our sons.

You do not call our boys.

If they're interested in you, they will call you.

And I was trying to teach them that a man is to lead in the relationship.

And I was trying to teach also my sons that they are to lead in the relationship.

The girls shouldn't be calling them.

So that's a very, very important thing to take from this, too, I think.

Right.

And single girls, you know, there's no need to fret over whether you're going to get the guy.

Yeah.

Because in the examples in the Bible of single women, God always orchestrated the connection, I think, of Rachel.

And God sent Abimelech.

Abimelech, Yeah.

I think that was his.

Was it Elimelech?

Elimelech, no, it was Abimelech.

Anyway, it was Abraham's servant in Genesis, chapter 24.

Right.

Sent the servant.

God sent the servant.

Right.

To the.

To the well where Rachel was drawing water so that he could observe her.

And then I think of Ruth.

Here she was, Ruth was carrying out her responsibilities and to care for Naomi, her mother in law.

And God directed her to the field where Boaz happened to be.

And then even in this example, the shulamite, she was out in her everyday routine in the country, working in the vineyards when the king saw her.

But God is the one that orchestrated all of these connections.

So, you know, it's some things here that are so important to see.

The first one that, hey, you don't need to be out chasing guys, girls, God is sovereign.

And so.

And also she was concerned about protecting her reputation, which all single girls and single guys should be concerned about.

Now another consideration is that it is valid to think about the occupation of your spouse before you get married.

Certainly, and you should do that.

But once you are married, it's.

If you haven't considered that, it's a little too late then.

But you still have to deal with that concern.

Because we've counseled so many couples where that an occupation has taken maybe the husband out of the home for extended period of time.

And it created a lot of problems in that relationship because of that.

Because God designed marriage to be a covenant of companionship, being a companion, spending time with each other as a husband and wife.

So this is a valid concern.

Now we, you know, I talked about counseling and couples who have problems with this.

I think of men who maybe drive a truck for a living.

I know that's one example where the husband was gone for prolonged periods of time and their marriage really hurt their marriage bad and to the point of almost divorce.

And then you think about those churches we've been in, and I think about over near Fort Bragg or up in Alaska in Anchorage, where near military bases where that young couple gets married and all of a sudden the husband is deployed for three months or six months and she's left all by herself.

So even when we were in Kenya last year, a lot of the wives were very concerned.

It was brought up as a valid concern.

Hey, my husband can't work in the village here, can't get a job here.

So he goes to Nairobi, he goes to some big city and he's gone

months at a time.

Hey, he's gone two, three months, six months, and I don't see him.

And that's really hurt our marriage.

And even in America.

Several years ago I was flying back on USA Today and owned USA Today on USA and I read a USA Today and it mentioned commuter marriage relationships.

And I thought to myself, what is a commuter marriage relationship?

And it Described a husband who lives in one city, a wife who lives in another city, and they would commute to see each other back and forth.

And it said it was over a million marriage relationships like that.

It was fastly growing.

I thought to myself immediately, I didn't come, I didn't get married to Debbie to commute to see her.

I got married to her because I want to be with her.

But these are valid considerations, you know, to think about.

Now, Scripture responds in verse 8 by saying, if thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock and feed thy kids beside the shepherd's tents.

Now, if you study these, this verse, it's really unclear who is really speaking here.

Some think it's Solomon, some think it's the chorus.

But whether it's Solomon or the chorus, it gives us some very valuable, I think, instruction.

Now, some believe it's a chorus because at the beginning of verse eight, it says, oh, they're fairest among women.

And the chorus uses that phrase two other times, I think, in the song to describe the shulamite that way when they are definitely speaking.

So some think it's the chorus because of that.

And if so, then the chorus is responding with some very calming counsel.

But because they're saying there's no need to panic.

As you get more familiar with the routine of the king, then you'll know where he is.

You'll be able to figure out you can go your way and you can do your job.

You can fulfill your responsibilities as the queen.

You can just go do them in an area nearby where he is.

Then you'll be close to each other.

So I don't make light of this, though, because single girls, it's important that you consider if and how you'll be able to adjust your schedules once you get married.

And also you need to consider what other things in this man's career are going to affect my life.

Am I going to be able to handle this?

You need to make sure that you can totally back a man in his career path before you get married.

So, so important and a very legitimate consideration.

Now, if this is Solomon responding to her, then he's just giving her calm, calming affirmation.

He's trying to calm her and say, and affirm his that he's going to let her know where he's going to be, that he will give her his agenda for the day.

Maybe he will tell her where she can meet him during the day and maybe spend some time together at noon.

So at lunchtime or something like that.

So he's reassuring her, even though his responsibilities as a king are very demanding, that he will let her know where he's going to be and he'll spend time with her.

It kind of reminds me of the verse in First Peter, chapter three, and verse seven, where it says husbands, it says, dwell with your wives according to knowledge or live with your wives.

Spend time with your wives according to understanding.

Understand your wife needs you to spend time with them and be that companion.

And fortunately, you know, as a husband, many jobs do take us away, but fortunately, we have the technology today, especially they didn't then, but we have the Technology today to FaceTime, to text, to make a phone call.

We can let our wife know what we're doing.

If we're waiting on the day, we can text her and just say, honey, I love you.

Send a little loving emoji or something if you want to do that.

It means a lot, and it means

a lot to you.

It does mean a lot.

Okay.

And, you know, and if you've gone away for several days at a time, listen, you can FaceTime with your wife at night before you go to bed.

And probably a lot of you do that, even read the Bible and pray with her before you go to bed at night.

So praise God that he's given us this technology where we can stay in touch.

Right.

I do think it's a matter of communication and coordination, coordinating your schedules, talk about it.

And this couple's willing to do that.

Yeah.

And it's, you know, even thinking about this, we need to have planned times, intentional times of spending time together because life is so busy often, sometimes we'll say, we kind of like to.

If we're not careful, we like to Metro trains across paths in our home, you know, because we're all.

We're all busy.

So if we don't carve out time for each other, take an intentional walk every day, sit on the back porch or on the sofa and take time to talk 15 or 20 minutes every day.

If we don't make that time and carve it out, a lot of times, it just doesn't happen.

So I think that's another consideration.

And if you've got a job that would take you away from your wife so much that it's leading to separation and divorce, hey, listen, consider getting another job because your marriage is more important than your job.

So that's so, so important to consider, too.

I think they're willing to be flat, flexible.

They just needed to talk it out a little bit.

And it's good because they are talking it out.

And Solomon is always sensitive, as we're going to see in the verses to come.

He's always sensitive to his wife's insecurities, and he never stops reassuring her of how beautiful he is.

I said last week, I think that he's the most romantic dude who ever lived.

And certainly we're going to see that as we continue to go through these verses.

In verse nine, he says this.

I have compared thee, oh, my love, he says to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots.

That isn't too reassuring to me.

That doesn't sound reassuring to you, that he a horse.

If I said, hey, baby, you're the most beautiful horse out here in the state, in the fields or something, that wouldn't reassure you.

You're not living in Lexington.

And that doesn't mean much to me.

It's very interesting in verse nine, oh, he uses the word oma.

Love.

That's a different word for love than is used in verse two.

That is has more of a total sexual connotation here.

It's speaking of guarding and caring for and taking care of.

It's a more of a possessive love, like a prize possession, like a prized possession.

You are my love, you know.

You are mine, you know.

And it does have a sexual connotation to it, too.

But he's going to use this time and time again in the song when he talks about his wife.

Now, we do.

You mentioned Lexington, Kentucky.

We do live here in Lexington, Kentucky.

And we discovered something here that's been kind of fun to go to.

That's a Kentucky horse park, and they have a horse museum.

Arabian horses.

Arabian Horse museum.

And you can go in there.

And it's a very fascinating thing to go through.

But I stopped at one point and I saw a little sign that talked about how precious an Arabian mare was to a man in that day and time in that culture.

And they would say it's his prized possession.

And it reminded me, I thought immediately back to this verse in Solomon, chapter one and verse nine that we're looking at here, because Solomon is saying, hey, honey, you are my prized possession.

Solomon owned thousands of horses, and he's saying, you're the best of all.

You're the mayor of all mares.

You're one in a million.

Like, you're the envy of everybody else.

Yeah, you're the envy of every other man.

Wishes they could have somebody as beautiful as you are.

And then he says, in Pharaoh's Chariots, which is very interesting.

Too.

Because typically, in a chariot pulled by horses, it would be two stallions side by side pulling that chariot.

And I think the reference here is like, if you were to hook a marrow beside a stallion pulling Pharaoh's chariot, probably wouldn't pull the chariot because the stallion would be so distracted by the mayor that he wouldn't pull the chariot.

And he's saying, you distract me.

You're beautiful.

And it's just a beautiful, beautiful, romantic statement that he makes here.

Then in verse 10 and 11, he says, Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels.

They're sitting at the wedding feast.

He's noticing these jewels that are on her.

He says, thy neck with chains of gold.

He's got gold chains around her neck.

He says, we will make the borders of gold with studs of silver.

Now, I remind you that we have indicated that Shulamite was from.

She was a country girl, and she had a very poor background, didn't have jewelry.

And.

And so Solomon was concerned about her dignity, and he wanted her to look as beautiful as she could possibly look.

He had obviously bought her gold necklaces.

He had decked her with jewelry.

And he says, not only do you have what you got on, but listen, I'm gonna get the other women, the other craftsmen, and we're gonna make some more jewelry for you, and I'm gonna deck you out with more jewelry.

I'm gonna enhance you.

I like it.

I like it.

I'm gonna enhance your natural, creative beauty.

You.

A lot of women like this verse, and because it's saying, hey, honey, go out and get some silver and some gold for me.

That's what it says in the Bible, you know, that Solomon promises more.

He says, we will make you right?

And so he gives her gifts of jewelry.

Now, let me just stop and say this, too, guys.

Let me remind you that when you said, I do when you got married, it doesn't mean I'm done.

It's not over.

You got to keep doing what you did before you got married and after you get married so you can stay married.

And that's giving your wife gifts, too.

This reminds her that you love her.

And it's just so romantic.

As we look at this, you know,

something else that stands out to me is that he is noticing how she's dressed, and he's making a comment on that.

And.

And I think there's a lot of times when we're about to go somewhere and Sam will say, well, you really look nice.

And that kind of boosts my confidence because I feel like I've got his approval, and it's important to me that I get his approval.

And I also thought about it, too, because, you know, there's verses that say that Jesus wants to present us as his glorious bride, a bride of splendor.

And it shows that he cares about our appearance.

And so it means a lot, too, that this bridegroom, just like Jesus, cares about the appearance of his wife.

And another thing, too, is ladies pay attention to how this wife responds to the compliments that her husband is paying to her.

Hey, she's not suspicious.

Ulterior motives.

And she doesn't think, what's going on here.

She thinks, I am so blessed to have a guy that approves of me, that cares about me, that notices how rare that is.

So she responds back to him in verse 12 and 13.

And she says, while the king sitteth at his table, the my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof.

A bundle of myrrh is my well beloved unto me.

He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.

Now, the wording here indicates that they are at the wedding feast and they're seated at the table.

But look at that emphasis on fragrance.

You know, we brought this up here once again, right, in chapter two.

Fragrance is very important to them.

That you smell good.

Yeah.

In verse two.

Yeah.

But she's saying, my spikenard giveth forth this fragrance to you.

Now, spikenard, it's a really expensive perfume.

And the custom in their day was that all of the ladies would go and they would gather blossoms and spices and perfumes, and they would mix them together and put them in a packet.

Every girl would mix her own signature mixture there, her own signature fragrance.

And they'd wear it in that packet all night long around their neck.

And the oils from those blossoms and the spices would permeate into their skin.

So the next day, when one of those girls would walk by, Whoo.

That could spill.

Bethany.

There goes Mary.

You could recognize them by the fragrance that.

As they walk by.

And she's saying, my fragrance is reaching across this table to draw you to me.

But I love Shulamite because she always brings out a deeper meaning in everything she talks about.

And she says, you're like that packet.

You know, it.

It makes me smell good.

Well, you.

You make me smell good.

You bring out the best in me.

Wow.

And I think there are some people that you can be around, and we.

When you're around them, have you ever noticed that you become more cynical or you become sarcastic?

You start picking up on who they are.

And it changes who you are.

You.

But she's saying, when I'm around you, I'm a better person.

You cause me to think good things.

I'm a better person when I'm with you.

What a compliment that she could pay to him.

And how important that the person you're with forever bring out the best in you.

So Solomon has complimented her and he has given her jewelry.

So now she compliments him and says, you bring out the best in me.

Me.

This is so beautiful.

It really is.

And when you say that, it reminds me of Ephesians, chapter 5 and verses that we know so well that often are read when we talk about marriage.

In verse 25 through verse 27, God is trying to show a husband how to emulate the love of Christ to his wife, even as Christ loves the church.

In fact, let me just read these verses.

It says, husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present it to himself as a glorious church or a church of splendor, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So these verses are saying, you know, one day Jesus will present us, as you said to himself, as a glorious bride, bride of splendor.

And during this time, until that day, he is sanctifying us.

He is making us more and more beautiful in Christ.

He is enhancing our glory.

And I often share with husbands that one of your main responsibilities in your marriage is to enhance the glory of your wife, help her be more beautiful in Christ.

And this is what she's saying to him.

You help me be more beautiful.

And it's a beautiful thing.

She says.

He says such kind things to her all the time.

And so she responds back to him.

And this is verse 14.

My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphor in the vineyards of En Gedi.

Now, camphor, that's henna blossoms.

And they're like this very fragrant flower, fragrant flower that grows in clusters, all these blossoms together.

And Ein Gedi is a garden that Solomon had planted in the desert.

So again, she's telling him how special he is to her.

She's saying, you're like those blossoms, like crossing the desert in a dry, parched land, all of a sudden coming upon an oasis.

You're refreshing to me.

You're just like those sweet smelling flowers.

You're so sweet to me.

And you're so refreshing in my life.

No wonder she loves him.

And, you know, as you say this, it's convicting to me because I think as a husband, I need to be refreshing to my wife.

I need to each other.

We need to build each other up, enhance the glory of each other.

After all, marriage is a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ, an earthly manifestation of Jesus Christ, his bride.

And so as we close this out, we just want to take this, practically speaking, home, I guess, and encourage you as couples this week to exercise some loving, romantic conversation with each other where you're building each other up, you're uplifting each other, enhancing the glory of each other.

Hey, guys, you could even do what Solomon did and even buy your wife a little gift of jewelry this week.

Debbie said, yeah, why don't you do that for me?

But you know, you could, and that would be a wonderful thing, too.

But we do need to enhance the glory of each other.

We can be more beautiful in Christ.

Aren't you glad that God, through His Word, his revealed word to us and the Holy Spirit of God is wooing us to Himself?

He's enhancing our glory.

He's continually affirming his love to us.

He's continually letting us know how much he accepts us.

We're accepted in the beloved, and he's refreshing to us.

Yeah, he gives us security.

I'll never leave you or forsake you.

He refreshes us.

Praise God for that.

We have such a.

Our groom is the perfect groom.

He's the perfect lover, Jesus Christ.

And we are his bride.

And God is our Father, and He calls us his dear children.

I love that.

So thankful for the grace of God and His love for us.

So thankful for this teaching in the Song of Songs.

Next week, we're going to move.

The couple's going to move from the wedding feast into the bridal chamber.

So it's going to be very exciting.

You don't want to miss that.

And until next week, God bless you.

Thank you for tuning in with us tonight.

And may God give you a wonderful, wonderful week of blessing.

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