Welcome to episode six of the Findom Show with your host Mari, a professional phone sex Goddess.   

In today’s episode Mari is joined by her friend Mia. The conversation does a quick recap of episode five – the joys of daily sends – and the importance of honoring your own energy, to establishing boundaries with potential subs and addressing misconceptions about what Dommes expect—or are “entitled” to—in FinDom relationships.   

One thing you’ll walk away knowing – if you don’t feel the urge to send… (listen in for all the details!)

Highlights:

• [00:05:57] – Managing availability for client interactions.
• [00:08:33] – Varied dynamics and wallet demands.
• [00:10:15] – Understanding financial domination signals.
• [00:14:30] – Discussion about initial tribute in Findom.
• [00:22:26] – Brownie sample analogy for Findom.

Links to connect with Mari: 

• Website
• Tryst
• Only Fans
• Chaturbate
• Twitter (X)
• Fansly
• Instagram

Links to connect with Mia: 

• Niteflirt
• Tryst
• Only Fans
• Twitter (X)

Hey, welcome in! You're listening to the FinDom Show. You're here with Mari and Mia. Hi, Mia!

Hi, Mari!

Financial domination— it's when money gets inextricably tied to pleasure, when dynamics around money get tied To arousal. And oh my goodness, I've had a lot of arousing experiences over the last week, Mia.

Fuck yeah.

The—

that's the way it should be.

Yes. And, and I want to— I want to highlight something really fun that happened this week, and I knew it would. It's why this podcast exists. But the last episode where I talked about the joys of a daily send, someone who found the podcast via Twitter— yes, I still call it Twitter— found the podcast via Twitter, listened to that episode, and sent me a message. And just said, um, I, I didn't know that daily scents, small daily scents, could be such a good thing for a Domme. I, I guess I assumed that Doms only got excited about like big, big gifts. Anyways, that— we'll circle back to talking about that particular human in a future episode for sure, because that, that Human is engaging with me in Findom. So, five episodes in, the the podcast is getting out there via social media, largely thanks to you, Mia, because you take care of that side of things, and it's creating new subs, which is fucking awesome.

Um, but so that's experience number one. Experience number 2, I had a new Findom client come in via Night Flirt with some delightful sons out of the blue, just— and, and they kept saying over and over again, um, thank you for— thank you for accepting my gift. Thank you for accepting my gift. Thank you for letting me spoil you. Thank you for letting me gift you. Like, they wanted nothing from me.

I all.

And, and that, that is just like so delightful, you know?

See, I think that is where— well, it's not I think, I know that is where I struggle. Anytime I am given money, I immediately think, oh shit, I owe them something in return. When I know, like, logically, I know when it comes to financial domination, that that's not true. They are giving because that's their kink.

Yeah.

That's what turns them on. But in my head, I feel obligated. You're giving me money, so you have to want something in return.

This is interesting. And guys who are listening, financial subs who are listening, I call on you to reach out to Mia and tell her why she can let go of that mindset. Because I know that I got to a place of full acceptance. From hearing it from you all, men who told me, "I give because I have to. I give because I need to. I give because I want to. I give because you deserve it. I give.

I give. I give because it's me. I'm a giver. I'm a slave. I'm a sub. I'm a piggy. I am what I am. I have to.

This is who I am, and you are the goddess I'm focused on right now. So thank you for accepting it. I believe that." In my mind, in my heart, in my pussy. Because men have told me again and again, guys, Mia needs to hear it from you. So someone pick up the banner and run to Princess Mia and just like show her, show her what it feels like. She needs to hear it from the pig's mouth, so to speak. So, um, then do you remember the other morning, Mia, you and I were doing some spicy coworking together and it was quiet? And, um, I'm a, I'm a big fan. I'm a big personal fan of just honoring my energy.

Knowing when I'm in the mood to be available for phone calls and when I'm not, because I will log into Night Flirt to take calls and monitor chat, and sometimes I will not log in to take calls and I will only monitor chat while I'm doing something else. Um, and then of course there's private clients that are reaching out to me via Twitter and Instagram and Telegram and WhatsApp and all those places. Sometimes that phone is put away and I'm ignoring everybody. Sometimes that phone is right here in my hand, ready to respond. I really, I really lean into trusting my energy around when I'm in the mood and when I'm not in the mood. I had a sensation of, it's so quiet. Do I really want to be here anymore? Do I want to stop? Do I want to, do I want to log out? But there was a, there was a flutter. There was a, instinct of we're not done here today.

And then it happened. One of my—

I remember.

One of my financial subs, one of my sweet good boys pops in. And our dynamic— he's fascinating to me. This is why I resist And I don't believe in calling every fin sub a pay pig. I think, I think words, titles are extremely powerful and have the wrong energy for some people.

Yep.

This guy is not a pay pig. I do not call him a pay pig. I do not say pay me, piggy. I adore him. adore him. He shows up and I say, baby, I've missed you! Oh, I love you so much! And then he's like, oh, I love you too. I've missed you. Are you happy to see me? And then I say, you know, I'm happy to see your wallet.

Because we have a tried and true dynamic. of, of we are like, we are lovers. We are mad passionate, excited to see each other lovers. But it's not about him fucking me, it's about me fucking his wallet.

Mhm.

Good and fast and hard. But, but there's also a dynamic of The energy is a little different each time. Sometimes he'll call, and and I will make demands in chat while we're talking. Sometimes he doesn't call, and we just play raise the rate in chat, and I make demands. Sometimes we use Lovance toys to literally. Fuck him. Uh, it— there's a— there's so much variety in our dynamic that that's one of the things that tickles me, is that what's his mood gonna be like today? Because I have fucked his wallet hard and fast for $1,000 in about an hour and 20 minutes, and then there are other times where I've you know, fucked his wallet out of $200, you know. Um, he says what he's in the mood for.

So my curious question is, do you— well, you're so good at picking up on like the man's energy and vibe, so is it easy for you when you're interacting with him, like you just pick up on the vibe of, okay, it's gonna be Like a quick, hard $1,000 drain versus it's gonna be smaller. Do you know what I'm saying?

You say I'm good at picking up on it. I say I'm good at being open to it because I don't think I am good at figuring somebody out right away. I don't think Humans are so wildly different. Mhm. And, you know, every kink out there has such a wide range of potential experiences. And so when someone comes to me with financial domination signals, whether they're signaling it hard like, hey, I'm Bob, I'm into mesmerization and wallet fucking, let's go. Like, sometimes they come at you that clear. Other times they say, oh goddess, you make me feel so weak.

I make me just want to do anything to please you. And it's like, okay, send me money. And sometimes they didn't mean that.

They're like, no, no, no, no, I mean I'm willing to worship your pussy.

Oh, of course, baby. Like, don't mention the tribute again, you know. Worship my pussy. But some guys really— and men, men, you know. Some of you know yourselves really well, and, and you know what works for you, and you're happy to signal it plain up front. I love trance. I love wallet fucking. I love a bossy bitch.

Bring it on. Like, you love to come at us with that kind of energy. Some of you, though, like things to be a little more of a challenge. It's a kink for you. To like leave a trail of breadcrumbs to see if we pick up on it. And that, when it's playful, is really fun. I, I do enjoy a breadcrumb adventure of I'm going to tease you at the possibility that I'm a fensub and see if you can find my triggers. That's fun.

On Night Flirt, that's fun because you're paying $3 a minute just to engage with me.

Mm-hmm.

So we can be playful. Um, I can chase breadcrumbs a little. I can figure you out, ask lots of questions, try things out, see what works. And I'm getting paid $3 a minute to play that game with you. So, so if 20 minutes later I didn't find your triggers, and you're like, sorry, goddess isn't working for me, and you hang up. I'm not offended. You're a fascinating fucking human. I did not find your triggers.

My bad. I got paid $3 a minute to play. Not offended. I wish I would have found your triggers. I 100% wish I would have found your fucking triggers. But I can't read minds, and you wanted me to figure it out, so we didn't— we didn't nail it. That's okay. Um, but if you're not on a platform, if you've reached out to me privately and you're texting with me prepayment trying to play that game, you can fuck off.

I'm not playing games that I haven't been paid to play.

Yeah.

So just so you know. And, and here's the thing, there's something I wrote down. Um, if you discover me in the light of Findom fetish and don't immediately feel the urge to send money Why are you messaging me?

Ooh.

That's just a curious question for y'all because— and we'll talk about this probably 100 more times in the future— some FinSubs do not want to make a, quote, initial tribute or pay for your attention. They want to engage with you, get to know you before they send. And again, on a platform where you're paying to engage, that's okay. We don't have to go straight for the tribute. If you're chatting with me and I'm getting paid a few bucks to respond to you, Or you're calling me and I'm getting paid a few bucks to get to know you before we play Findom games, that's fine. But if you're reaching out to me directly from social media or this podcast, I'm going to say it again. I wrote it down. If you discover me in the light of a Findom fetish and you don't immediately feel the urge to send money, Why would you message me? I love that question because listen, the sub that I mentioned at the beginning of this episode that reached out to me via Twitter, he said, I love the podcast.

I love what you said. I'm like, thank you, baby. He pretty quickly got around to, how do I send you some money? He didn't fuck around and waste my time.

Mhm.

Um, but some men do. Some men reach out and they're like, hey, I found you on Insta, or I found your podcast, or I found you on Trist, or I found you through your website. And, you know, I— they send heavy— either directly say, oh, I'm a fin sub, or they send— they telegraph findom messages. And, and I— as soon as you signal to me that you've got findom fantasy of some degree, I'm gonna make a financial demand. Like, to not do so is, is Fake as fuck. But when someone, after they've messaged me a few times and I've said, here's how you attribute me, gift me, or spend money for some time with me, then they say, oh, I'm not, I'm not ready to think about that. My immediate thought is, why the fuck are you messaging me then?

Yep.

Don't, guys. If you're not feeling the urge to send me money, don't send the message. Caveat to that: publicly respond on Twitter as a reply Leave a comment on Instagram. Leave a comment on the— leave feedback on the podcast. Um, publicly respond somewhere on Reddit. Publicly say, I love the podcast, I love your vibe, I think you're cool, I want to get to know you sometime. Publicly. You can worship the ground we fucking walk on publicly.

As much as you like, thousands and thousands of messages, go for it. But privately, shut the fuck up. Publicly, tell me all the things because that serves me. Privately, shut the fuck up. I don't care. Does that sound cruel?

No.

No, it's boundaries.

Yep.

Boundaries. There are other femdom, fin doms out there who feel differently, who would welcome a private message, who would welcome a getting-to-know-you chat. I hope you find them if that's what you need, but that's not me. I have a very short fuse for pre-tribute, pre-session chitchat. And, um, like, that's typically about 5 messages. About 5. So that includes, um, hi Goddess, I love your podcast. There's message number 1.

I say, aww, thank you, baby. And I, and I remind you what my offers are. And you say, oh my gosh, I'm not ready to do that, but I love you. Okay, bye. I'm done. I'm not replying. I'm not replying again.

Yep.

You know, um, is that cruel? No, it's— no, it's, it's my boundaries. It's respect for my time. It's respect for my energy. Um, that said, I don't, I don't ever want to— I would never refuse a compliment. But what I want you guys to know, I would prefer the compliment be given publicly. If you're not following it up with money, I would prefer the compliment come publicly. Leave a, leave a reply somewhere. Oh my God, I just found your podcast.

I love it. I can't wait to listen. Or, oh my God, I just listened to episode number 5. It's making me feel all kinds of feelings. Like, leave it publicly. That serves me. But if you message me privately without any intention of sending some financial gift alongside that comment, don't fucking be surprised when you don't get all kinds of attention and response to it. Enough said.

Well, I was just thinking about You know, you asked the question, is that rude? And I keep thinking, well, no, it's not rude because it's protecting your boundary and it's about financial domination. So it needs to immediately be about money.

Yeah.

And if you think about that in like the vanilla world, that would be like somebody saying, oh, hey, can I, you know, pick your brain for 10 minutes? and have you help me, I don't know, with something technical related so that they get their site fixed or something.

Yeah.

So yeah, you can't come at a Domme and say that you are, you know, a fin sub and then not spend money. Like, yeah, that's just fucked up.

There's a funny— there's a funny thing. Have you ever been in like a bake at a craft show, a vendor event.

Yes.

And someone is giving away free samples of brownies, and somebody comes up and noms the brownie and says, oh my God, it's the best brownie I've ever had, that's so fucking delicious, thank you so much. And they don't buy brownies, but then they reach for another sample. Like, and you're like, hey, it's one per customer. Oh, really? I just want one more. They're so good. They're the best brownies I've ever had. Well, they're for sale. Oh no, I don't want to buy one.

I just want one more. Yep.

Yep.

Like, yep, you would be such an asshole if you acted that way. But in the spicy space, that's what some men are doing. They are taking little bites, little nibbles, little tastes. of a Domme's energy. And I find that unacceptable on all fronts, but in the Findomme fetish, it's— no, no, it's worse. It's more distasteful. Do not come at me in the light of Findomme. Without the finances.

Mia, thank you for this. Guys, we'll see you in the next episode.