Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is S and S is for Sexless Marriage.

Sexless marriages take many forms and have a huge impact on all relationships. Joining me today to discuss this issue is  renowned clinical sexologist, Dr. Patti Britton.  Dr Patti is a Clinical Sexologist, Sexuality Educator and the Pioneer of Sex Coaching with top level credentials. As a well-respected world leader in the field of sexology, she is the author of hundreds of articles, four amazing books, and is former columnist for Penthouse Forum. Dr. Patti is a Your Tango expert, popular speaker, sought-after trainer and workshop leader, blogs on her own websites and hosts over 40 DVDs for women’s and couples’ sexual enhancement. Her media record includes appearances on national television shows, documentaries, live talk and news radio, and with frequent quotes in magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Glamour, Men’s Fitness, WebMD, AOL Health. She has a private practice in Los Angeles and via Skype globally. Dr. Patti is the Co-Founder of SexCoachU, the world’s premier credentialing and training institute for sex coaching. She is the author of a female-friendly erotic novel and an expert on porn/erotica from a woman’s perspective. She co-hosts a dynamic weekly radio show for the boomer generation at: TheBoomDoctors.com. When she is not speaking at summits, or on media, or leading trainings in Los Angeles for her tribe, she and her partner Robert travel the world leading transformational sexology intensives while curating erotic art imagery wherever they go!

Thanks for joining me! We spoke about the pandemic and how a large percentage of clients enter coaching and therapy because of varying levels of sexlessness.  Dr Patti pointed out that the term was coined in 2002 and at that time 20% of all relationships were said to be sexless, though sex was not defined.  She highlighted the fact that many of her clients presented with 2 to 5 years of no affectionate touch in addition to no sex and we spoke about the damage a lack of touch does.  Dr Patti sees sex as an essential part of self and not an add on.  She highlighted the fact that many couples lack sexual skills as well as communication skills and that clinical sexologists approach treatment somewhat behaviourally with goals to get couples having sexual contact again.  We spoke about how many layers there are to sexual problems and that as a result this is often very deep and transformative work.  We spoke about the extreme fear of letting go of control that so many people have and that orgasm is the ultimate vulnerable place because you are so out of control during orgasm.  Dr Patti spoke about 5 levels of touch from healing touch through to sexual touch and spoke of working with couples to understand that they can stop anywhere on the scale.  We spoke about the fact that sex means different things to different people and different things at different times. 

Dr Patti mentioned Dr Barry McCarthy’s book Rekindling Desire which has been released in an updated version recently and that he found in research that many women stopped engaging in sex out of profound disappointment in their relationships.  We spoke of the definition of asexuality and the new axes for sexual orientation.  We both spoke of how much more choice there is when people can self identify in so many ways and on so many levels.

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex. Write in with your questions to drloribeth@atozofsex.com and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com.  I help Individuals, Couples and Polyamorous groups to create find and create their ideal lasting intimate relationships and to heal any relationship issues.  My free ebook: 74Movies that are Not Pornography can spice things up.  For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.   If you have enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review on iTunes and/or Stitcher and please subscribe! Join me next week when the letter will be T.