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“The more we build this relationship with our parts, the less they take over our system… the more we can be what's called self-led and work for our parts rather than from our parts, which is really a beautiful step in creating the life that we want,” says Greg Schmaus, holistic health practitioner and creator of the Internal Family Systems-inspired approach to mental health, on Mental Health in a Modern World.

After overcoming severe anxiety and OCD in his own life, Greg Schmaus dedicated over a decade to helping others heal using a unique fully integrated approach—fusing psycho-emotional healing, mindfulness, lifestyle coaching, and archetypal work. In this illuminating episode, he breaks down the art and science of “parts work”—a compassionate method for understanding and transforming the “managers,” “firefighters,” and “exiles” inside us all. Far from pathologizing behaviors like perfectionism, people-pleasing, or even addiction, Greg Schmaus explains how such patterns are protective in nature, and invites listeners into an experiential practice for unblending and befriending these inner parts.

Tune in to this week’s episode of Mental Health in a Modern World to discover how shifting your relationship to your internal system can create the foundation for genuine healing, self-leadership, and inner peace.

5 Key Takeaways

Unlock deeper self-understanding and healing by integrating parts work into your daily life.

1. Recognize and name the different parts within yourself—such as managers, firefighters, and exiles—to better understand your inner world [00:03:39](/timestamps/219).

2. Practice unblending by separating your core self from reactive or protective parts, allowing you to respond with compassion instead of reactivity [00:14:15](/timestamps/855).

3. Build a compassionate relationship with your parts by speaking for them rather than from them, reducing inner conflict and external drama [00:16:06](/timestamps/966).

4. Use the 6 Fs practice—Find, Focus, Flesh out, Feel toward, identify Fear, and Befriend—to systematically work with your protector parts [00:30:15](/timestamps/1815).

5. Regularly check in with your parts, maintaining an ongoing self-led relationship to promote healing and greater self-sovereignty [00:30:50](/timestamps/1850).

Start your practice today—choose one part, listen in, and take the first step toward a more harmonious inner world.

Memorable Quotes

"And the more we build this relationship with our parts, the less they take over our system. The more we can be what's called self-led and work for our parts rather than from our parts, which is a beautiful step in creating the life that we want."

"There are no bad parts. Once you have a deep understanding of all of the roles that these parts are playing, you realize that every part is playing, once upon a time, an essential role to keep an exile or to keep a core wound safe. At the end of the day, they all have good intentions."

"It's not about getting rid of parts, but it's about not allowing the parts to take over the system. Not allowing the parts to stay too blended with us and to develop a benevolent and compassionate relationship from self to part."

Resources Mentioned

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz - https://amzn.to/4c88Yp3

Connect with Greg

Website - https://www.healing4d.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/4d_healing/

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@gregschmaus

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/greg-schmaus-22929589/

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And the more we build this relationship with our parts, the less they take over

our system. The more we can be what's called self-led

and work for our parts rather than from our parts, which is

really a beautiful step in creating the life that we want. In a

world moving faster than our minds were designed to handle, mental health is

becoming one of the defining challenges of our time. Welcome to Mental Health in

a Modern World with holistic health practitioner, Greg Schmaus.

After overcoming severe anxiety and OCD in his own life,

Greg dedicated the past decade to helping others heal through a fully

integrated approach to mental health, combining lifestyle coaching,

psycho-emotional healing, mindfulness, and archetypal work.

Over the years, he's facilitated thousands of sessions, guiding people back to

peace, clarity, and a deeper connection with themselves.

Each week, Greg shares powerful solo insights, Conversations with leading

voices in holistic healing and immersive live coaching sessions that take you

inside the healing process itself. New episodes every Friday.

Follow the show and start reclaiming sovereignty over your mind in a modern world.

Here's Greg. Welcome back to Mental Health in a Modern World.

So in this episode, we're diving into one of my favorite topics, which

is parts work. Now, parts work is something I stumbled

upon many years ago, actually accidentally. On my

own personal healing journey, I remember many years ago, this is

going back now 14, 15 years, when I was struggling with

severe OCD, I found myself naturally starting

to do this work within myself where I was

relating to these different parts of me and working with

them from this place of what we call self. But at the time, I didn't

know what I was doing. And so I was naturally just

instinctively going through this process of doing parts work within

myself. And then once I stumbled upon

various forms of parts work professionally, such as IFS,

Internal Family Systems, which is what we're going to go into and explore today,

it was, it was like a light bulb went off inside of me that, oh,

this is familiar. I know this. And it's because I naturally

started doing it within myself on my own healing journey.

And so once I came across parts work, and Internal Family

Systems work professionally, it was just, I found myself

feeling at home. And so I'm really excited to share this

method of healing work with you today because it's had such a

profound impact in my own life, on my personal healing

journey, and with so many of the clients that I've worked with in my

one-on-one coaching practice. Now, essentially, parts

work is based on what's called the Multiplicity Theory. When you

have this idea of self, we have this idea

of us being this one individual kind of

singularity identity, like oneself. But

in this multiplicity theory, what's essentially

stated is that we are a multiplicity of selves

within oneself. We're a multiplicity of parts

within one psyche. So just like you have one body,

That is made up of trillions of cells that are all

communicating with each other, all playing different roles. The

Multiplicity Theory states the same thing for the psyche,

that we have this multiplicity of selves, instead of cells,

selves, that are all communicating with one another within

one psyche. And so this theory has really

supported me on my own path. and many of the clients that I've

worked with. And so we're going to dive into some of the nuances of it

today and how to begin to do parts work within yourself. And at

the end of the episode, I'm going to guide you through a practice of

doing some parts work actually in this episode together. And

so we're going to use the model of Internal Family

Systems, which was developed many years ago by

a brilliant gentleman named Richard Schwartz. And

so Dick Schwartz developed IFS, and it's been the system

that I've worked with for many years now and have found it to be so

beneficial, so therapeutic, and so healing in my

personal and professional work. Now we're just going to create

kind of a lay of the land, almost like a psychic anatomy

based on the IFS model. And so based on the IFS

model, we have this core self. Now, this core self,

this self is not a part. This is your higher self. This is

your essential self. This is who you are at your core.

Now, this self is loving. This self is

compassionate. This self is curious. It's

calm. It's collected. It's connected. And so

this self is really what we're wanting to access

within ourself. And we want to essentially engage

our parts from this place of self. And the self, like I said,

is not a part, but it's really who you are at your core.

And now when it comes to parts, we have a few classifications that

we're going to break down together. We have protector

parts, and then we have exiles. Now,

protector parts are parts of the psyche that

are playing protective roles. Now, these

parts that are playing protective roles, they have this kind of never again

mentality. And so based on the pain, the trauma,

the wounding, or the challenging

experiences we've had in the past, the protectors

create a protective system around those traumas

to make sure that those traumas, or what we call those exiles,

don't get reactivated or don't see the light of day. Whether

it's our shame, our unworthiness, our grief,

whatever it might be, these protectors are playing protective roles

to make sure old traumas, exiles, and wounds never get

reactivated. Now we have 2

classifications of protectors. We have what's called

managers, and then we have what's called firefighters.

Now managers are our proactive,

And prevention-oriented protectors. So the

manager's job is to make sure that

those exiles, those traumas, or those wounds never

get activated, never see the light of day. And they're working

chronically to make sure from a preventative

standpoint, from a proactive standpoint, they're trying to

prevent the exiles from getting inflamed. Now,

a lot of the managers are parts of us that we like

to present to the world. A lot of times the managers, these are

parts that are micromanaging our reality. They're

managing our system, and they're parts that

we're often very blended with, and parts that we

often even get positive approval from

or positive reinforcement from the world outside of us.

For example, A perfectionist could be a manager.

A performer could be a manager. A people pleaser could

be a manager. A caretaker could be a manager.

An achiever, a planner, an intellectual part.

These are all managers that a lot of times we get positive feedback

for, but are actually designed from a

proactive and prevention-oriented way to make sure

that our exiles or core wounds don't get activated.

Other managers might be controlling parts,

critical parts, worrying parts,

avoidant parts. So these are all our managers that are

trying to manage the system to make sure that our

exiles don't get activated. Now, on the other side

of the coin, we have firefighters.

Firefighters are reactive.

Firefighters are there to put out the fire once an

exile does get triggered. So let's say our shame does get

triggered, or our grief does get triggered, or our

feeling of unworthiness or rejection or abandonment

does come to the surface. The firefighters are there to step

in in a very extreme, acute way to put out the

fire no matter the cost. And the firefighters

have this no matter the cost kind of

mentality, because they will do, no matter how much damage

the firefighters cause, they will make sure That they put out that

fire. Now, firefighters can be

parts that we try and hide from the world or feel shame around,

where, like we said, managers are a lot of times parts that we present to

the world and get positive reinforcement or feedback around.

Now, firefighters would include parts that binge,

parts that are compulsive, parts that have addictions,

parts that rage, Parts that dissociate, numb out,

escape, self-harming parts, impulsive parts.

So these are very fiery, acute,

addictive, reactive, compulsive, impulsive parts

that have a huge tendency to come in in extreme

ways to put out the fire once an exile does get

activated. Now, when it comes to exiles, exiles are

the parts that fragmented off. During

times of trauma, during times of pain, these

exiles carry burdens, these exiles carry core

wounds as a result of experiences from the past.

A lot of times these exiles are very young parts, parts from

our childhood, parts that

experienced shame, grief,

abandonment, rejection. These are parts that

feel unlovable, unworthy,

unwanted. These are parts that feel betrayed or

neglected or judged. So these exiles are the

parts of us that are fragmented, that get locked away

as a result of trauma, and that we build a protective

system around. And so these exiles are really the

parts of us that get frozen in time, They get stuck in the

past. They don't develop past the point of that

trauma, and they fragment off from the whole of ourselves.

And so you can see how we have this, we could say, psychic

anatomy of parts, starting with self, which is who we are,

not a part. It's our essential self, our higher self. And then we

have our protector parts. We have our managers that are proactive and

prevention-oriented. And then we have our firefighters that

are reactive, that are there to put out the fire in extreme

acute ways, no matter the cost or no matter the damage.

Now, one of the first principles when it comes to parts work

is that there are no bad parts. Once you have a deep

understanding of all of the roles that these parts are

playing, you realize that every part is playing,

once upon a time, an essential role. To keep an exile or

to keep a core wound safe. And at the end of the day, they all

have good intentions. Even addictive parts, binging

parts, self-harm parts, even suicidal parts.

You could see the benevolence of all parts because all they're

trying to do is protect exiles. They're trying to keep you

safe from some of the core wounds and the burdens that these exiles

carry. They're afraid it would be too much, it would be overwhelming, or

It would take over your system. And so the first thing

we want to acknowledge is that there are no bad parts, which is why Richard

Schwartz's book is titled No Bad Parts, is because all

parts are playing benevolent roles, even if it's hard to see it

sometimes. We have parts that can seem like critics and

bullies and be mean and abusive. And, but at the end

of the day, if you really understand and approach it in a compassionate

way to understand All of these parts are playing benevolent roles.

And so our job as self is to really see that, to

befriend the part, and to work with it from that compassionate

place, rather than rejecting any parts or

exiling any parts just because we don't like what they're doing.

When we unpack it, we realize that they're all playing benevolent roles.

Now, like I said, this allows us to build compassion rather than

create an inner war. A lot of times, especially in the coaching

world, when we see patterns of addiction, self-sabotage,

even in the therapy world or the recovery world, a lot of times there's

a demonizing of maladaptive behaviors

and this internal shame around times when we have a hard time,

like changing some of our patterns of self-sabotage

or changing some of our habits that maybe are not serving us.

So this is a much more gentle and compassionate approach

to healing some sabotaging, addictive, or

maladaptive behaviors or patterns that are no longer

serving us, but maybe we have a hard time shifting them. And so this

approach really allows us to understand why.

Now, parts are in

relationship with one another within a system. So

These are not individual parts that are playing individual roles. These

parts are all communicating within one system,

all communicating with each other. And so that's why it's called internal

family systems, because it's almost like there's a family system

inside of you of all these parts that are communicating with

another, playing roles with each other. Some parts like each other, some

parts don't like each other. So there's this whole village. Inside of you

that you get to work with, which is really, really a beautiful approach from my

perspective and from my experience. Now,

challenges arise when we are

blended with parts that take over the system. It's important to

understand that when we're doing parts work, we're not trying to get rid of parts.

We're trying to understand parts, and we're trying to unblend from our

parts, right? So parts don't go away, but they do change. They do

evolve. They, take on new roles, so they transform.

But a lot of times people are trying to get rid of parts, or think

they should get rid of parts, especially if they're playing some maladaptive role.

But the key is that we want to unblend from the

part and build what's called a self-to-part

relationship, where I am the self in relationship with this part.

And so I can engage this part from a place of self, And the

part doesn't take over and run my life anymore. So for example,

a lot of times we have managers or firefighters that are running our life,

but these managers and firefighters are like 12-year-old parts that are

trying to protect us from a core wound from our childhood. And

we wonder why our life or our relationships look the way they do.

Well, it's kind of like if you gave your 12-year-old the keys to your car

and said, hey, drive, go. And you know, Navigate life, navigate the roads

and see what happens. Well, of course there would be accidents, there would be car

crashes, there would be injuries. And so we're wanting to make

sure that we're not getting rid of the parts, but make sure that self

is in the driver's seat and is attending to the parts that are in

the passenger seat and the backseat. And so it's not about getting

rid of parts, but it's about not allowing the parts to take

over the system. Not allowing the parts to stay too blended

with us and to develop a benevolent and compassionate

relationship from self to part. And

so as we are not getting rid of

parts, but unblending from them, what happens is we can

speak for our parts rather than from our parts.

So instead of an angry part just being like, ah, fuck you, we

could say, you know, there's a part of me that's getting really angry with you

about X, Y, or Z. See, that's the difference between speaking for a

part. Hey, you know, there's a part of me that's getting really irritated

when X, Y, or Z happens. Would you be open to or willing to do

this instead? That's speaking for a part. Speaking from the

part would be the attack, the fuck you, the, you know,

reactivity, the rage, the conflict. So we want to speak

for our parts rather than from our parts.

Now, Challenges in relationship always arise

when one person's protector triggers another person's exile.

It's very simple. So one person's protector really

activates or inflames another person's exile, and that's where

a lot of conflict and drama in relationship arise.

So the more we can unblend from the parts and be

operating from a place of self, speak for our parts rather than from

our parts. It really saves us a lot of stress and conflict and

drama in relationship. Now,

challenges such as anxiety,

depression, addiction, OCD, things like that,

these are whole systems. These are not individual parts. So

when we have, let's say, a diagnosis of anxiety, depression,

addiction, OCD, a lot of these common

diagnoses, These are not individual parts, but these are

actually whole systems of parts that are interacting

with one another and expressing themselves as

a symptomology that gets diagnosed, such as, you

know, anxiety, depression, addiction, OCD, things like that.

And so we want to really understand that all of these diagnoses

are really reflections of internal systems that are playing

certain roles within the system and expressing certain

symptoms as a result of the parts within the system.

And so challenges such as addiction, for example, often

arise when we have what's called polarized parts. So we have

polarized parts, usually protectors, that are playing

polarized or opposing roles, creating a lot of

inner conflict. So for example, we might have a critic and a

perfectionist. Or a critic and a performer, or

a rebel and a people pleaser, you know? So we have these polarized

parts that create a lot of internal division. And a lot of

times that is often at the root of addiction. So whenever

I work with people struggling with addiction, I'm always looking for

polarized parts, especially polarized protectors, very often

a manager and a firefighter that are almost like pitted against each other.

And that's where we're going to find a lot of healing when we work with

those parts. Now, the process when we're working with

parts is to what's called unblend and befriend.

So unblend means to separate yourself from the part.

Befriend means to build a relationship with it, a

benevolent relationship with it. We want to unblend,

create space, differentiate self from part, and then

build a relationship of benevolent Compassionate

relationship from self to part, befriending, right? So we have

unblending and we have befriending, building a

self-to-part relationship. And so now what we're going to do is I'm

going to take you through a very simple practice using what's

called the 6 Fs of unblending and befriending

protectors. So what I would invite you to do is to choose

one part, one protector, either a manager or firefighter.

Managers are sometimes easier to work with to start. So choose

one part that you know is present in your life, maybe

has, you know, run parts of your life for a period of time or something

that you've been challenged by or struggling with. And so

once you choose a part, ideally a

protector, you don't want to go right to exiles. We want to work with protectors

first. Working with exiles is very nuanced and it usually

would want some skilled one-on-one therapeutic support to work with

Exiles, but working with Protectors is much safer than

going directly to Exiles. So choose a Protector

that you're going to work with. Then when you're ready, just find a nice

quiet space for you to just sit comfortably and

go inward for a few minutes. And once you have that

space for yourself, a nice quiet seat,

And the part in mind, we're going to call this the target part.

Just begin by closing your eyes and going inward,

and just getting curious about this part, this protector

that you're going to focus on and work with.

And the first thing I'm going to invite you to do is see if you

can find this part somewhere around your body.

So just to tune inward, get curious, and

see if you can feel into and find where this part

resides somewhere around your body.

You can ask the part to show itself where it is,

where it resides, and just finding it somewhere around your body.

And once you find it, just focusing on it, Focusing your

attention on it, attuning to it,

and seeing what you notice about this part. Is this part big or small?

Does this part feel heavy or light?

Does this part feel very close to you, like you're blended with it, or

does it feel really far from you? What's the distance that you feel

between you and the part?

You

can notice the energy of the part. Notice the

energy that it carries.

Any initial impressions as you focus in and

attune to this part?

And now we're going to just invite the part to share a little bit about

itself. So asking the part what it wants you to

know about itself, and the role that it's playing,

And without trying to think about an answer, just relax and listen and

attune, and just receive what the part has to share.

So see what this part wants you to know about itself,

the role that it's playing.

What is it trying to do for you?

Is it playing a protective role?

If so, what is it trying to protect you from?

How long has it been in this role for?

What brought it into this role? What forced it into this role?

Was there an initial event, circumstance?

And always just listen and attune, receive rather than

think or project any answers.

Just allowing it to come through naturally, without

force.

Inquire how old you were when this part took on this role.

And how old does it think you are now?

Because it might not know.

And as you're getting to know this part, notice how you feel towards it.

Do you feel compassionate towards it? Are you curious about it?

Do you have empathy for it? Or do you have any

negative feelings towards it, any judgment or dislike?

How are you feeling towards it?

And what we're checking for here is if we're in self, or if we're

blended with another part. So if it's anything other than

that compassionate, loving self, that curious self,

See if that other part or other parts can really open up space for you

just to get to know this part,

just for a few minutes. We want to make sure that we're in that self-energy.

And so if any other parts are interfering with that, just see if they can

relax back and open up space for you.

And feel when you're in that place of self.

Notice what that shift feels like.

Once you're in that place of self, now we're going to check in with this

part and see what it's afraid would happen if it didn't play this role anymore,

if it didn't do this anymore, whatever it's trying to do. If it stopped

today, what is it afraid would happen?

And however this part responds gives us a little clue to potentially

the exile that it's protecting. So you can

even ask it if there's an exile that it's protecting,

As a result of that answer.

So as we're getting to know this part, you can really start to see the

benevolence of it. And so

let's really take a moment to befriend it, even thank it. For the role that

it's played, what it's trying to do for you,

the good intentions behind it.

And see how it reacts as you befriend it

and acknowledge its benevolence and good intentions.

And see if it would be open to continuing this relationship, building

this relationship, and eventually beginning

to heal. See if it's open to just

continuing, even just to check in with each other now

that we've built this self-to-part relationship, and

just see what it says.

And then once you've done so, just, and you've gotten

some great responses and answers and information from this part,

some insights, just thank the part for sharing

with you, for Connecting and being available.

Then we'll bring this practice to a close.

And whenever you're ready, just slowly bringing your awareness back into this

time and space, into your body, into your environment.

And whenever you're ready, coming back and opening the eyes.

Welcome back. So it's a very simple

practice of unblending and befriending.

We use what's called the 6 Fs of working with

protectors, which is to find the part,

To focus on it, to flush it out,

to check in how you feel towards it, to identify its

fear, and to befriend it. Those are called the 6 Fs

of working with protectors. Now, you can do this

with many other parts. You're welcome to take this recording and take this

episode and apply it to other parts that you might notice in your

system. I'd highly recommend once you find a part and you work

with it to follow up with it. Because it's a relationship that we're building

with our internal system. And the more we build this

relationship with our parts, the less they take over our system, the

more we can be what's called self-led and work for our

parts rather than from our parts, which is really a beautiful

step in creating the life that we want. Now,

next steps on your journey, aside from this episode and working with it and

the recording, is Richard Schwartz's book, No Bad Parts, is really

beautiful. Um, goes into great depth in terms of a

lot of what we've laid out today. And if you'd like to do some parts

work, it's a big part of my coaching and my program offerings. You can

go to healing40.com if you want to become a one-on-one client, if you

want to do some coaching work together. I do a lot of parts work

in my healing work with my clients. It's one of the main tools that I

utilize among many others. Um, but it really works

beautifully with a lot of the work that I offer in my coaching

practice. So once again, healing40.com. And

thank you so much for going on this journey with me today. It was such

a beautiful episode. I hope this content and this practice that we

went through today really supports you on your healing journey. I'd invite you to

share it with anyone else that you feel like might be supported by the

content and by the practice that we went through today, because

especially in the world right now with the levels of anxiety and depression and

addiction and a lot of The challenges around people's mental health in

this modern world. We need all hands on deck to share a lot

of these resources and a lot of these practices that support me

and support you on each of our journeys. And so we can share

it as a gift, um, not just to ourselves, but to others as well.

Hope you have a beautiful week and I look forward to sharing something wonderful with

you in next week's episode. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Bye-bye.