Many counsellors feel awkward about charging, or even apologetic when talking about their fees. In this episode, I share my own experiences from being told off by an electrician friend for undervaluing myself, to walking up Lincoln’s Steep Hill every week to pay for counselling when my self-esteem was at rock bottom.

We’ll explore:

• Why so many counsellors feel guilty about money
• The hidden cost of not raising your fees for years
• How paying for therapy can actually be part of the healing process
• Why charging fairly helps both you and your clients

If you’ve ever struggled with the money side of private practice, this episode is here to remind you: you don’t need to apologise for charging.

Resources & Links:

• Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas
• The Grow Your Private Practice Book
• Get access to free resources The Vault

You might also like:

• Compassion fatigue and burnout: What therapists need to know, with Howard Baumgarten
• Therapist burnout: How to spot it and take action, with Charlie Hyde
• Should Counsellors Offer Concessions? What to Consider Before You Decide
• Putting a Price on Therapy: The Importance of Getting it Right
• Increasing prices the pain free way

Charging as a counselor can feel a little bit like walking a tight rope. You know, on the one side you know that you're offering something really valuable, but on the other there, that voice in your head, you know the one that says, what if it all seems a bit greedy? So if you've ever felt awkward saying your fees out loud, or if you've apologized for charging, or if your prices haven't budged for years, this is the episode for you.

Hi, I'm Jane Travis, and welcome to the Grow Your Private Practice Show, where I share honest, practical advice to help you to grow a successful counseling business without burning out. So whether you are here for mindset support, business tips, or just a gentle nudge in the right direction, well, you are in the right place.

So hello, hello, hello, and welcome back and if it's the first time here, it's fantastic that you found us. I hope you're okay. Today. I want to start by telling you a story and it's about the time my electrician friend laughed at my website. How rude. So when I first started as a counselor, I found charging excruciating.

It felt awkward, almost shameful, and at the time, I had a really good friend who was an electrician. Now, as you can imagine, he didn't hesitate to charge for his work no matter how much he enjoyed helping people. This was his livelihood and it was simple. If he didn't pay, you didn't get the work done. And one day he looked at my canceling website, which was new, and I was really proud of it.

And he laughed, not really unkindly, but he laughed with disbelief because on my site i'd, I'd written things like. I do my best to keep my prices really low, but please understand that I'm a cancer in private practice and there was a couple of things that I said I can't remember them all now. So, but basically I was apologizing for charging.

I was almost pleading for people to understand that I wasn't just out for the money. And once he'd stopped laughing and composed himself, he shook his head and he said. Jane, you're running a business. You don't have to apologize for charging. And that moment really stuck with me because as counselors we are in a helping profession and many of us have been told directly or indirectly that we shouldn't charge much. Maybe you've been criticized for not offering more free sessions, or you've been told that you're too expensive or you've been compared to the NHS, you know, why would anybody come to you when they can get it for free On the NHS, it's, it's not very nice, is it? But hearing that often enough. It can create guilt and shame around money, and it makes raising fees just feel really impossible. And before you know it, you are the person that's struggling to pay your bills. So what does it really cost you to not raise your counseling fees? Well, I've spoken to many, many, many counselors over my time, and there are some of them that haven't raised their rates for two years, five years, seven years, you know, and you wouldn't see a plumber or a dentist and just assume that they aren't going to increase their fees, you know, not unless they fancied living off pot noodles.

Good intentions. And let's face it, pot noodles aren't so cheap anymore either. So meanwhile, you know, your rent has gone up, your grocery bill's a joke, and a cup of coffee is a considered purchase these days, you know? So keeping your fees at the same rate might feel like you're being really generous. But the reality is this can slowly drain the life from your practice.

And when you are under charging. You are overworking and when you are overworking, you run the risk of getting burnt out and anxious around money or even quietly resentful, and it means that you can't fully show up for your clients. Now I believe that paying for counseling is part of the healing. Let me explain.

paying for counseling isn't just a transaction. I think it's part of the transformation. And when a client pays for therapy, they're not just booking a time slot, they're telling themselves that they matter and that they're worth investing in, and that their needs are just as important as anyone else's. And for some clients, that alone can shift something. And I know this. I've been there. You know, I first started therapy back in my early twenties and I'm now in my, I'm now 61.

I dunno why I'm telling you that. That feels like I'm ancient anyway, but right back then, I didn't earn very much. And so to afford being able to go for counseling, I took in a lodger. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I'm a massive introvert, and that was, well, that was a bit of a choice, wasn't it?

But I knew that I needed help. I was desperate for help. I dunno where I would've gone if I'd carried on. The way things were so paying for it didn't feel like a burden. It actually felt like a turning point. It was me finally backing myself. And back then I didn't even have a car. So every week, and I'm talking about for years, I walked up steep hill in Lincoln and yes, it really is that steep.

And then all the way back down again, rain, shine, snow every single week. Now, my self-esteem wasn't just low. I mean it was underground, but taking the time, spending the money, and showing up. Anyway, that became a part of the healing, and it was a proof to myself that I was worth it, that I was worth the money, that I was worth the time, and apparently worth struggling up that ridiculous hill as well.

Because money and therapy isn't just about the money, it's a part of the structure, and when you apologize for your fee or you discount too quickly or you feel awkward sharing it, it can send mixed messages and it's not always conscious. In fact, I'd say it's probably not conscious at all, but clients can pick up on it and it can leave them feeling unsure about your role or how seriously to take the process.

So clear confident fees, help to set the tone, and they say that this work matters. And when that message is clear, clients are far more likely to commit and get more out of the work. So no more shrinking. You are allowed to charge, because you are offering something valuable, skilled, and deeply needed, so your fee doesn't need an apology. It doesn't need an explanation. It doesn't need a paragraph of softeners. It's what makes the work possible. And if your practice prices haven't changed in years, or if you find yourself shrinking a little, when you say your fee out loud, this is your reminder.

You are allowed to charge properly for your work. You are not just allowed to, you need to, I consider properly charging for counseling is basic self-care for counselors. And I talk about this, I've got a whole section in the Grow Your Private Practice book all about money. So look, if this hits home, let's have a look at where you can start because you don't need to overhaul everything overnight, but as with everything, small shifts can really make a big difference. So here are a few practical places that you can begin. So the first one is probably quite obviously, check your fees. When was the last time you ra you raised them? If it's been a couple of years or more, then it's probably time.

It's not probably time. It's definitely time. The cost of living is going up exponentially and so has the amount of experience and knowledge that you have. So please check your prices and put your prices up. And the second thing is watch how it is that you talk about money. So are you saying things like, I just charge whatever, or it's only whatever.

When you talk about your fee, you know, see what happens when you skip the softeners and just state it really simply. I charge X amount. And remember your own investment. You know, think back to when you paid for therapy. What did that mean for you? Why was it worth it? What did you get out of it? What are you taking forward with you that you wouldn't have had if you hadn't done that?

And decide on your boundaries in advance. So if you offer reduced fee spots, how many can you realistically manage? Set the number and honor it. And I do have a blog post that will be really interesting for you around this. It's all about offering concessions, whether you should, whether, whether you shouldn't, and if you do how to do it.

So I'll put those details in the show notes. And then maybe shift about how you see charging. You know, charging fairly isn't taking something from your client. It's what allows the work to happen in the first place. And sometimes, like I was talking about, it's even a part of the healing. It's recognizing that you feel, you feel important enough to pay for your own help.

And yeah, work on your money mindset. So if the thought of raising your fees , makes you feel really awkward or greedy or guilty, then you are not alone. You know, these stories are often old and they're rarely true. They come from the past somewhere. Now a great place to start is the Get Rich Looky Bitch Book by Denise Duffield Thomas.

You can, you can listen to it. On Audible, or you can buy the book. I've got both, but I like to listen to it every now and again. Denise reads it herself and it's quite funny. and it is down to worth, and it's very practical and it doesn't make you feel like you need to, you know, manifest your way out of burnout.

I highly recommend it, and that's an easy way to just start working on a money mindset. So that's it. So over to you. When was the last time you raised your fees and how do you really feel when you say your price is out loud, and if this has brought up some resistance, or even it's brought up some relief about it, you're not alone.

You know, so many brilliant caring counselors wrestle with this. Not because they're doing it wrong, but because they've been told that it should feel uncomfortable. Now if you'd like some extra support with this, you'll find a free resource in the vault. So what is the vault? Well, the vault is, it's a freebie that I have. It's full of practical tools and workbooks and scripts, and it's completely free. For counselors that are in private practice. So in The Vault you'll find something called Scripts for Business Boundaries.

And this walks you through the things to say when somebody makes that initial phone call, so that they're gonna be far more likely to make an appointment and come and see you. And within that there's how to talk about your fees in a way that feels, that's gonna feel comfortable to you. So if you want to go and check that out, if you go to janetravis.co.uk/thevault, and I'll put those details in the show notes as well. Okay, so thank you so much for listening. I hope this has given you something to think about and if it has, make sure that you are following this podcast so that you'll not miss out on any of the future ones. So that's it. Have a fantastic week, and I look forward to speaking to you again next time.

Okay, take care. Bye-bye.