Steven Webb:
00:00:00
Hi, I'm Steven Webb, and welcome to a meditation for healthy boundaries, and the kind that keep you safe
Steven Webb:
00:00:09
without shutting the world out.
Steven Webb:
00:00:12
I like the phrase, "Gates you can open, not walls that are closed."
Steven Webb:
00:00:19
So if you just allow your body to relax in this moment Allow your shoulders to relax and your face and
Steven Webb:
00:00:30
your shoulders and arms.
Steven Webb:
00:00:32
Allow your arms and fingers to relax, including your back and your belly and your legs The body knows
Steven Webb:
00:00:45
how to relax.
Steven Webb:
00:00:46
We just allow it to happen And then become aware of your breath Aware that you're breathing in And aware
Steven Webb:
00:01:03
that you're breathing out And just become the observer.
Steven Webb:
00:01:14
Observing the breath Observing that you're a body sat here and relaxing You can feel the quiet You're
Steven Webb:
00:01:32
the observer that can hear my words We don't need to do anything with the body And just while you're settling
Steven Webb:
00:01:50
in, I will use the word boundary and all I mean is knowing what we can carry today and what we cannot.
Steven Webb:
00:02:02
It's not a wall, it's a gate that we can look after and we can choose when it opens So as you become aware
Steven Webb:
00:02:15
of your breath, breathing in calm, breathing out relaxed And let this moment be what it is You may notice
Steven Webb:
00:02:30
the mind going a little quieter Especially as the body just settles into this moment And imagine for a
Steven Webb:
00:02:44
moment a wall that is built around ourselves.
Steven Webb:
00:02:49
A big one, all the way around and is to keep out everything that stings.
Steven Webb:
00:02:58
Every sharp word or every rude driver, every worry everything that we feel uncomfortable about Every group
Steven Webb:
00:03:14
of people perhaps you have struggling with going to functions and lots of people And how tempting this
Steven Webb:
00:03:28
is, the quiet, the safety.
Steven Webb:
00:03:32
Nobody can touch us.
Steven Webb:
00:03:35
We can just feel lovely and calm.
Steven Webb:
00:03:42
No one can hurt us And I think apart from the wall, at first it feels wonderful It feels safe, like having
Steven Webb:
00:03:57
a nice bubble around us But here's the strange thing Inside the wall our own strength goes soft We never
Steven Webb:
00:04:21
need our courage, so we get sleepy We never need our wisdom, so it starts to go quiet Very much like a
Steven Webb:
00:04:38
leg in plaster.
Steven Webb:
00:04:40
It's protected, so when you take it out, it's weak And one day when we're in the real world, when we've
Steven Webb:
00:04:53
got to go to that place, and we always have to eventually, we need people.
Steven Webb:
00:04:59
We're interdependent on people, we need We need help.
Steven Webb:
00:05:05
We need love And then we open the door and the world comes in And the world never reads our rules Nobody
Steven Webb:
00:05:26
out there knows our boundaries They come in and they help themselves to our emotions The problem is our
Steven Webb:
00:05:50
rules are only ever written on the inside of the wall and nobody takes notice of the outside So what if
Steven Webb:
00:06:01
we try something different?
Steven Webb:
00:06:07
A garden with a gate And just imagine feeling what this would feel like.
Steven Webb:
00:06:17
We tend to what grows inside of us instead.
Steven Webb:
00:06:24
A little wisdom, knowing what is ours to carry and what is not.
Steven Webb:
00:06:36
A little strength, trusting we can meet what comes And a little kindness for ourselves and then for everyone
Steven Webb:
00:06:50
at the gate And you can say inside gently.
Steven Webb:
00:07:07
I have boundaries.
Steven Webb:
00:07:09
They are not set in stone I can open the gate.
Steven Webb:
00:07:16
I can close the gate And whatever comes through it, I have the wisdom and the strength to meet it And
Steven Webb:
00:07:49
three gentle wishes for you today Maybe you want to place your hand on your heart just feel these.
Steven Webb:
00:07:58
May I be safe with my gate open May I be safe with my gate open?
Steven Webb:
00:08:15
May I be loved just as I am May I be loved just as I am.
Steven Webb:
00:08:33
May I be strong enough to let the world in May I be strong enough to let the world in And a boundary was
Steven Webb:
00:08:54
never meant to be a prison It's a garden edge, and you hold the key.
Steven Webb:
00:09:03
And some days the gate stays shut, and that is fine.
Steven Webb:
00:09:08
Most days it can open a little wider than we think And in a moment I'll guide you back, and I want you
Steven Webb:
00:09:23
to take this back with you today, and that is healthy boundaries have gates.
Steven Webb:
00:09:29
And if we can build our strength and wisdom to deal with the world out there, we no longer need to build
Steven Webb:
00:09:39
these walls So five, just feel the room and feel your body.
Steven Webb:
00:09:47
Four, just gently open your eyes.
Steven Webb:
00:09:49
Three, just shake out your arms, your fingers and toes, and maybe just move your body a little bit.
Steven Webb:
00:09:55
Two, look around.
Steven Webb:
00:09:56
And one, just take a deeper breath and just, ah.
Steven Webb:
00:09:59
How much better does it feel to know that you can open gate?
Steven Webb:
00:10:05
These boundaries are not absolute.
Steven Webb:
00:10:08
They're not solid.
Steven Webb:
00:10:09
They are for you to use Thank you for sitting with me today and being brave to put a gate in those walls.
Steven Webb:
00:10:20
It does mean a lot, and just a reminder, I don't put any adverts in any of these meditations, and they're
Steven Webb:
00:10:27
free to the world, and they're free because of the generosity of the listeners.
Steven Webb:
00:10:33
People like you that just donate a coffee.
Steven Webb:
00:10:36
That's all.
Steven Webb:
00:10:37
And if you'd like to support or hear about my other podcast, Stillness in the Storms, just head over to
Steven Webb:
00:10:44
stevenwebb.uk Perhaps join my Weekly Calm newsletter.
Steven Webb:
00:10:49
Thank you.
