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Today, we’re diving deep into gratitude and how it can seriously boost our happiness. I kick things off by admitting I wasn’t really feeling up to it, but that’s life, right? It’s not always about the good vibes; sometimes we just have to push through. I share how gratitude has helped me through rough patches, especially with the support of those around me. We explore how appreciating what we have—rather than what we lack—can lead to a more peaceful and content life. So, let’s get into it and see how we can practice gratitude daily!

Gratitude plays a central role in our lives, and today we dive deep into that topic. I started off feeling a bit off, honestly not wanting to record this podcast. But I pushed through because I know how important it is to share thoughts that might help us find peace. Gratitude is something that has made me happier than any other practice. It has often been asked why I seem so positive, and I have to admit, I'm not always positive. The outside doesn't reflect the inside all the time. But what really helps me is focusing on gratitude, especially on tough days. I shared a tough morning I had and how grateful I was for the caregivers who helped me, even when they weren’t particularly thrilled about it. Their support reminded me of the importance of appreciating those around us.

The episode goes on to discuss what the Buddha said about gratitude. To achieve happiness, we need to appreciate what we have rather than dwell on what we lack. I reflect on how this perspective shifts our mindset. Instead of desiring what we don’t have, we can find joy in being thankful for our current state. This could lead us to a more content life instead of constantly chasing after more. I urge listeners to consider how feeling content is different from seeking happiness as a destination.

I encourage everyone to take a moment to think about what contentment feels like. It’s essential to realize we often have everything we need in this moment. The more we practice gratitude, the more we can transform our perspective on life. I wrapped up with a gratitude exercise that involves recognizing the intricate web of contributions that go into our daily comforts. The more we acknowledge these connections, the deeper our gratitude can grow.

This practice of appreciating everything, even the struggles, can truly change how we experience life. It’s about being thankful not just for the good, but for everything that shapes us. So, let's cultivate this gratitude together and see how it changes our outlook on life.

Takeaways:

• The episode emphasizes that gratitude can significantly enhance our overall happiness and peace of mind.
• We often overlook the significance of small things and how they contribute to our daily comfort and happiness, like a cup of coffee.
• The speaker reflects on how our struggles can teach us vital lessons and shape who we are as individuals.
• Practicing gratitude daily can shift our perspective from wanting more to appreciating what we already have.
• The speaker shares that even difficult moments can lead to growth and understanding, encouraging us to appreciate all experiences.
• Gratitude is not just about thankfulness, but about recognizing the depth and complexity of everything we receive in life.

Steven Webb: 00:00:03

I really don't want to do today's show. I don't want to be here recording a podcast. I don't feel

Steven Webb: 00:00:09

like it. But let's get on with today's show.

Steven Webb: 00:00:14

I'm Steven Webb and this is Stillness in the Storms. And hopefully the show will give you a different perspective

Steven Webb: 00:00:20

on life, to give you a little more inner peace. Today I'm talking about gratitude. The one thing I think

Steven Webb: 00:00:26

that makes me happier than anything else.

Steven Webb: 00:00:33

I often get asked the question, why are you so positive? Why are you always seem to be so happy?

Steven Webb: 00:00:39

And I first of all say, no, I'm not. I'm not always positive. That's certainly for sure. I'm not always

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happy. What's going on the outside is not always what's going on the inside.

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But I think what's really important is why what I do, what my practices are, that does make me

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feel a little happier. And I wouldn't say they're actually practices. I would say they're what I do with my

Steven Webb: 00:01:08

mind when things start creeping up like today and This morning was a pretty rough morning. Had to go back

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on the bed several times. The poor carers had to do all kinds of things

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to sort me out and everything like that. It's just lucky there was two of them this morning. And yeah,

Steven Webb: 00:01:28

it was rough for them, but I was really grateful for them, what they were doing and what they were

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helping me with. And I was really appreciating that they didn't want to be there and they didn't want to

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be doing that either. And I'm sure they appreciate the fact that it's their job and things like that, but

Steven Webb: 00:01:43

that's not the point, you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? What did the Buddha say about

Steven Webb: 00:01:48

gratitude? I always like to look up what the Buddha said, you know the one of the really wise people.

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And when I say the Buddha, we're all Buddhas, we all have Buddha mind. What I'm talking about is the

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sixth buddha siddhartha kutama the one that went around teaching the world, the one that found the four Noble Truths,

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the one that seemed to leave some wisdom behind that we're still trying to get to grips with nowadays. You

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know, you should be by a time we're reasonable age, we should all be living these things anyway. But yeah,

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we're still. I have to think if he come back now and he would look around and go, really? I

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left you those simple to-do list like a to-do list of like five or ten things or the Eightfold path,

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like three thousand years ago, and you still haven't got a grip to it yet. It's like, yeah, well, you

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haven't seen my to-do list and still isn't done from last week, last month, last year. But anyway, what did

Steven Webb: 00:02:47

the Buddha say about gratitude? The Buddha said gratitude is the key ingredient in the path of enlightenment.

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He said that in order to achieve true happiness, we must learn to be grateful for what we have

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rather than resentful for what we don't have. The Buddha believed that gratitude can bring us closer to contentment

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and the peace that comes with it. I think there's a couple of really key ingredients there. He says about

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being grateful for what we have. We all understand that concept. You know, if you're grateful for what you have,

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you don't want things, you don't desire things, you're a lot happier. You're not resentful that other people have got

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something that you don't have.

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And he also mentions that rather than be resentful for what we don't have. So when you're desiring something and

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wanting something, that's actually been resentful.

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Unless you can desire in a way that you can desire it, but you don't need it.

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You know, desire and need are two different things. You know, I have lots of desires. It doesn't mean I'm

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going to act upon them. It doesn't mean I need them in order to be happy.

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So. And desire leads to pain, leads to attachment. It leads to more suffering.

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And the Buddha believed that gratitude brings us closer to contentment. We often look at happiness as a place to

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get to,

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whereas contentment is, I'm content. You know, if I look at something around me, I got a

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cup on the side,

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and that cup's just sat there being the cup

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that cup is currently content.

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Doesn't want for anything there's a need for anything. It doesn't want to be something different. It's just a cup.

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Then if you sit there and just be a cup or be a human, just sit there and have desires,

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have thoughts, have feelings, have emotions, but

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don't do anything with them because you're just human. And that's what it means to be human. And in this

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moment, you can just be content. Just

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try it for a moment. What does contentment feel like?

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What does contentment feel like to you?

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Just close your eyes for a moment. Unless you're driving, don't close your eyes. If you're driving um

Steven Webb: 00:05:17

I think that's really a warning. But if you're able to close your eyes for a moment, or if you're

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able to, even if you're driving out, just what does contentment feel like to you? What does that word mean

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to you? You have everything you need right now. You have air, you have your health,

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relatively, in this moment. You

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have everything you need right now in this moment. Because if you're missing some of those vital things, you probably

Steven Webb: 00:05:46

shouldn't be listening into a podcast. So in this moment moment I'm going to presume that you have everything you

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need in this moment to be content.

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And whatever comes up at this moment, you don't have to do anything with.

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What a concept that is. Wow. It's like what I can have a thought and I don't have to do

Steven Webb: 00:06:09

anything with it. Yeah, try it. That's like. That's like mind-blowing how much that simple

Steven Webb: 00:06:17

concept can change your life. And I say this on every podcast, I probably say at least once, if you

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take one concept away with you, take this one away. If you have a thought or a feeling, remember, you

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don't have to do anything with it.

Steven Webb: 00:06:36

Yeah.

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You don't have to even acknowledge it. Just like a leaf floating down in the river, you could just notice

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the leaf. You don't have to take it out, you don't have to dry it off, you don't have to

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do anything with it. You don't have to take a picture of it. You don't even have to acknowledge it's

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a leaf. You can just see it and watch it.

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How much happier does that make you feel? Just been content that you don't have to do anything with it?

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The problem is we're living in such a society now that anything comes up, we think we have to do

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something with it.

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We think we have to do something with everything. Now, I know that because whenever I go across town in

Steven Webb: 00:07:22

my role at the moment as mayor, someone will stop me and someone will go, do you know what? There's

Steven Webb: 00:07:27

something needs sorting out and I've got a bone to pig with someone. I've got this, that, and the other.

Steven Webb: 00:07:33

Very often a lot of people just want to have a moan when I say, well, look, can I take

Steven Webb: 00:07:38

a number Can I do something about it? They go nah I'm not that worried. I just wanted to tell

Steven Webb: 00:07:42

someone. And there instantly, that feeling of it's sorted is done. I

Steven Webb: 00:07:49

was still trying to work out with the people that or the things I need to do something with or

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not need to do something with. If your fire alarm goes, that's something you need to do something. With work

Steven Webb: 00:08:00

out the difference, but yet we give our thoughts importance. We give our feelings importance. You know, you don't have

Steven Webb: 00:08:08

to do something with it. But going back to gratitude, you know, I don't know who said this, but gratitude

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turns what you have into enough.

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You've got enough in this moment.

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Nothing more needed in this moment. Gratitude

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means thankfulness, counting your blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging everything that you receive

Steven Webb: 00:08:34

opal Winfrey Boy, that last sentence. And acknowledging everything that you receive and I cannot

Steven Webb: 00:08:42

speak for opal Winfrey but she had a pretty terrible, damning childhood. She didn't have an easy adulthood.

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And if anybody's ever read Oprah's story it's it's pretty horrendous. But

Steven Webb: 00:08:57

you know what? She appreciates it. And she has a deep gratitude for the life she's had. And it's the

Steven Webb: 00:09:05

same as me I I I've got to the point where not always I've got to sit down and meditate

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on it. Sometimes I gotta take a step back and look at it. But a lot of the time when

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I have a really bad time, when I look back on my life and think, that was terrible what happened

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to me.

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And I take a deep breath and I think, do you know what? I wouldn't be who I am today

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if it wasn't for that.

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You know, when you look at the scars on your body, when you look at the scars on your soul

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and your shadows and everything that gets triggered when things go wrong,

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would you be who you are today without all those things?

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You wouldn't choose them. You wouldn't want them. Don't get me wrong. You wouldn't wish for a tough childhood on

Steven Webb: 00:09:51

anybody. But you know what? The people that are doing really well as humans, as adults are the ones about

Steven Webb: 00:09:58

the toughest childhood. Not always. There's always the exception But in general, we're not talking about things like this. I'm

Steven Webb: 00:10:05

talking about the general going. When you line up 100 people and you look at the ones that are really.

Steven Webb: 00:10:11

I'm not saying they're successful with the most money, or the most stairs they've climbed anything like that, but I'm

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talking about the ones that have done the most work, whether it's in the gym to run 100 meters quicker

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or whether it's the most toughest times to be able to help the most people, they've normally been through the

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most. Sometimes it's a choice, sometimes it's not. So if we learn to. Whatever comes up, love that, whatever

Steven Webb: 00:10:37

comes up, appreciate that. And I think that's what Oprah Winfrey's saying there is acknowledging everything that you receive.

Steven Webb: 00:10:45

How do you know? And I ask people this often when they say, you know, I'm after a really bad

Steven Webb: 00:10:52

day. And I said well how do you know the universe isn't giving you this day to teach you something

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that you need later on? Now, I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in the universe there's any kind

Steven Webb: 00:11:05

of karma calculating. I don't believe there's some room somewhere in the universe with 10 million

Steven Webb: 00:11:12

animals or bugs or humans or something like that typing into

Steven Webb: 00:11:19

typewriters, all the scores of everybody keeping their karmic score on everybody. And well they've got high karma, they've got

Steven Webb: 00:11:26

low karma I don't believe any of that for a minute.

Steven Webb: 00:11:30

However, this way above my book I don't know what the universe is up to.

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Who knows, Maybe I had to have this life. Maybe from the Buddha sense where we're reincarnated, maybe this is

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the one life I needed before. Maybe this was the life I chose.

Steven Webb: 00:11:51

There's a really good question that says, you know, you're just about to be born, you're put down on this

Steven Webb: 00:11:56

earth again for another time you've got three choices. I'm going to butcher this one, but I think you have

Steven Webb: 00:12:02

three choices. You can have a really easy life and you'll just sail for it but you won't learn nothing.

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You have a really, really tough, horrible life, but you'll learn loads. But it won't be easy.

Steven Webb: 00:12:16

Or you have a relatively normal life, but you won't really learn much, you won't really experience as much?

Steven Webb: 00:12:23

Which one would you choose?

Steven Webb: 00:12:26

It's interesting. Perhaps you've had the other two and they didn't work.

Steven Webb: 00:12:30

Because I know people that have had. And this is all relative. Let me point this out.

Steven Webb: 00:12:36

Everybody has a relatively tough life compared to the muscle they have built. And I'm talking about muscle, not just

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physical muscle. I'm talking about mental and emotional strength and things like that.

Steven Webb: 00:12:48

Everybody that I know has

Steven Webb: 00:12:54

a relative life to what they've built up.

Steven Webb: 00:12:58

So before I say this, bear that in mind. But I do know people that have had a lesser, less

Steven Webb: 00:13:05

of a tougher life than others.

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And when something goes wrong, boy, does it spin them out.

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And other people look at them and go, they're losing the plot. They've totally spun them out

Steven Webb: 00:13:19

because that they've got a relatively comfortable, stable life. Now, it may not be relatively

Steven Webb: 00:13:27

comfortable and stable to them, but to others it may look like that. And to others, literally the world can

Steven Webb: 00:13:34

handle hand them the worst possible of Days again and again. And it can literally slam them down. And they're

Steven Webb: 00:13:42

like. A good analogy is they're on a three dual car, three road motorway and they're on the

Steven Webb: 00:13:50

middle one. They stand up and the car runs them down. They stand up, the car runs them down, they

Steven Webb: 00:13:54

stand up and they onto another lane and Laurie runs a nut And the analogy is, do you know what

Steven Webb: 00:14:00

I Keep knocking me down because I'm ready and I can handle it. And there's nothing you can do to

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me because do you know what? I've been knocked down that many times. You cannot do any more to me.

Steven Webb: 00:14:11

So. And there's other people that literally, they just get knocked slightly off their feet and say, that's it, I'm

Steven Webb: 00:14:18

done. I cannot do life anymore.

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And, you know, I'm not saying anyone's any better than the other. It's relative to them. Let's be straight on

Steven Webb: 00:14:28

that one. But it's really interesting. It's really interesting. So appreciate what comes up. I think that's where gratitude comes

Steven Webb: 00:14:36

from. Be you know be thankful for the things you like. Thank you for the present, thank you for the

Steven Webb: 00:14:42

next day Thank you for the. But gratitude has been grateful for everything. From a deeper sense. It's a practice.

Steven Webb: 00:14:50

And

Steven Webb: 00:14:52

be grateful for everything around you, your friends and everybody that's there for you and be And this is where

Steven Webb: 00:14:58

gratitude and depth comes in. You know, when I come down in the morning, I don't come down, okay, I

Steven Webb: 00:15:04

sleep downstairs. I, you know I'm paralysed I haven't been upstairs I live in the same house I lived in

Steven Webb: 00:15:10

when I was moved in here when I was 12 years old and I got my old bedroom upstairs. I

Steven Webb: 00:15:15

was there till I was about 18 and I broke my neck and they built an extension on the back.

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But I haven't been in my bedroom upstairs since I was like, I don't know, 17, 18. And I remember

Steven Webb: 00:15:27

the very last Sunday I done a podcast on this um no Ordinary Day. It's called. And

Steven Webb: 00:15:35

if you look back through my podcast, it was 20, 30 podcasts ago, no Ordinary Day. And I talked you

Steven Webb: 00:15:40

through the last day I had that I got out of bed in that bedroom upstairs. I just went through

Steven Webb: 00:15:47

an ordinary day and ended up paralysed to the end of the day. I had no idea it was going

Steven Webb: 00:15:50

to happen. It was a podcast that was played on the Bbc radio. It went down that well. So

Steven Webb: 00:15:58

anyway, I I digress But even that day I'm grateful for now. I don't know if the

Steven Webb: 00:16:06

alternative was better you

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know We don't like to be grateful for bad times. Because we think the alternative is better. If I wasn't

Steven Webb: 00:16:16

having this bad time, I'd be having a better time. No, not necessarily. You could be having a terrible time.

Steven Webb: 00:16:21

You know, if it wasn't raining and you're sodding through and it's freezing cold, you could be having a

Steven Webb: 00:16:29

lot worse time than that. Trust me. It may not be. The alternative is sunny. You

Steven Webb: 00:16:35

know, that's the reality of things

Steven Webb: 00:16:38

um I'm slightly going off the topic of. Well, no, I am on the topic of gratitude, because this is

Steven Webb: 00:16:44

all about gratitude.

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You want to be happier, you want more peace, and like the Buddha say, contentment.

Steven Webb: 00:16:51

Be grateful for everything that's currently coming up. Everything. Even

Steven Webb: 00:16:57

the bad days. Love that as well,

Steven Webb: 00:17:01

because you don't know the difference. Otherwise, I'm going to give you a perfect example. How do you know

Steven Webb: 00:17:09

that stuff tastes nice if you haven't never tried stuff that tasted horrible? How

Steven Webb: 00:17:14

do we know that the sun is nice and we enjoy the summer without the winter if If every single

Steven Webb: 00:17:21

day was the same weather and it never changed and that just happened to work, we didn't have seasons and

Steven Webb: 00:17:28

we didn't have all those things, we would literally just. We would never talk about it. We'd never go on

Steven Webb: 00:17:35

nice weather. That conversation would never even happen because you'd never talk about it.

Steven Webb: 00:17:43

You know, you very rarely talk about um I don't know I'm trying to think of an example now that

Steven Webb: 00:17:49

doesn't change. Yeah,

Steven Webb: 00:17:52

I cannot think of one the thing If you think of one message me of an example of something that

Steven Webb: 00:17:57

doesn't change. I had a piece of white paper in my mind. You never go, oh, that's an extremely white

Steven Webb: 00:18:04

piece of paper. But

Steven Webb: 00:18:06

anyway, let's get back to gratitude. I

Steven Webb: 00:18:11

said I wasn't in the white frame of mind for a podcast today. I cannot even focus on one thing

Steven Webb: 00:18:17

and that doesn't matter. You're here. Oh, I totally forgot to say thank you to Laura for buying me a

Steven Webb: 00:18:24

coffee

Steven Webb: 00:18:25

20 minutes into the podcast. I haven't said thank you. Thank you, Laura for a coffee this week. And if

Steven Webb: 00:18:32

anybody wants to treat me to a coffee or you want to download the Five Simple Practices for in a

Steven Webb: 00:18:36

piece head over to StevenWebb.uk that's spelled with a V

Steven Webb: 00:18:41

s-t-e-v-e-n-w-e-b-b.uk

Steven Webb: 00:18:46

the link is under the podcast. Anyway, we're going back to gratitude. So you get out of

Steven Webb: 00:18:54

bed, you come downstairs and you put on the kettle and it clicks and it boils the water and we

Steven Webb: 00:18:59

pour our coffee in, we pour our milk in and we go and sit down, we have that lovely cup

Steven Webb: 00:19:03

of coffee in the morning. Do you ever sit there and go, do you know what? If it wasn't for

Steven Webb: 00:19:07

the farmer and the cow, if it wasn't for the guys getting out of bed this morning and going and

Steven Webb: 00:19:13

working at the power plants, if it wasn't for the, I don't know, tens of thousands of people that invented

Steven Webb: 00:19:21

the electric, invented the farming process, invented the cattle and everything like that that you wouldn't have had your coffee

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so easily. We

Steven Webb: 00:19:30

take it for granted, don't we?

Steven Webb: 00:19:33

You look at how many things had to align to get you your coffee in the morning. Now, if you

Steven Webb: 00:19:40

do this one practice for the you've got two of them from this podcast. If you do this one thing

Steven Webb: 00:19:45

every morning with gratitude, this is a good gratitude exercise. Pick one thing when you get out of bed tomorrow

Steven Webb: 00:19:51

morning and think of everything that come into play in order to have that comfort, have

Steven Webb: 00:19:59

that coffee or have that car start. And

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when you start to look into it, you'll

Steven Webb: 00:20:08

really see how deep gratitude does. And you'll probably feel quite overwhelmed to begin with. It'll really start overwhelming

Steven Webb: 00:20:16

you and your body and everything like that. Because when you start to realise how much stuff has to align

Steven Webb: 00:20:21

just to give you your coffee, just to start that engine in the morning, just to get you to work.

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Problem

Steven Webb: 00:20:31

is, when it goes wrong, we complained. When the train doesn't turn up, we complain Don't get me wrong, you

Steven Webb: 00:20:39

probably should. That's a bad subject in the Uk at the moment. But when the kettle doesn't work or when

Steven Webb: 00:20:46

the car doesn't start, we can't believe this. It always happens to me. Bloody kettle. Wait a minute. It's worked

Steven Webb: 00:20:54

for two years there's 700 days or so on the regular mass, and it never missed a beat and you're

Steven Webb: 00:21:01

complaining? Imagine how that kettle feels. If kettles could have feelings, that should

Steven Webb: 00:21:09

be the That should be the title of this podcast. If Kettles could have Feelings. That's what it's going to

Steven Webb: 00:21:14

be,

Steven Webb: 00:21:16

deep gratitude. If kettles could have feelings. Yes, I like that. Give me a. Give me a high five.

Steven Webb: 00:21:23

Anyway, get back to see I'm feeling better. I'm just been grateful for my life. I'm being grateful

Steven Webb: 00:21:31

for thinking about everything that comes into play to give me my life right now. And I'm just feeling better

Steven Webb: 00:21:39

just to record this podcast. I've got a microphone, I got a computer, I got all these things. It all

Steven Webb: 00:21:45

lines up, all these people that invented all this stuff for me to be able to record something, to send

Steven Webb: 00:21:49

it over to you. So you can go to a website and you can download my five simple practices for

Steven Webb: 00:21:54

inner peace. You know, gratitude.

Steven Webb: 00:21:59

And when someone treats me to a coffee, I feel deeply grateful because it feels like I'm making a difference

Steven Webb: 00:22:04

and helping. And it helps me to do the editing so I don't have to do it all by myself.

Steven Webb: 00:22:09

It means I can. If five of you donate, it means that month I call that podcast, I can outsource

Steven Webb: 00:22:15

my editing, which saves me a lot of time. It saves me a lot of time. So

Steven Webb: 00:22:22

gratefulness has got a depth. And I'm going to leave it there for today. I've done over 25 minutes. I'm

Steven Webb: 00:22:28

going to totally leave it there. Gratefulness has a depth. And when you sit down and that practice in the

Steven Webb: 00:22:34

morning, just look at the depth of something. Take your pillow. The depth of that pillow is way deeper than

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you think.

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How did that pillow get there? Who invented the pillow? What is in the pillow? What is it made of?

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The cotton in the fields that grew it. All those things. The. The place you bought it from, the person

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not turn that for work to sell it to you on the till. Just go crazy of how deep these

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things are. And you know what? You'll feel better. Your

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whole life will change. Just simply remembering two things hey you don't have to do anything with a thought unless

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you choose to. So choose to get on the positive, nice ones. Choose to do nothing with the ones you

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don't want, and

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you'll retrain your by retrain your mind, and

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then choose to have depth of gratitude. And if you practice it on just one item every morning, sooner or

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later you'll. Sooner or later someone will come up to you and go, oh, I can't believe what happened to

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me it's like All the traffic lights are red. And you'll go, yeah, perhaps that saved your life. Who do

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you know? How do you know that if the traffic light wasn't red, you might have had an accident 100

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yards on?

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So you'll become that person that turns all these negative feelings into a

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positive, and you'll be like, oh, my God, I practiced deep gratitude and my life so much better. Let

Steven Webb: 00:24:06

me know how this goes um I love you guys. Thank you. And thank you for your emails. I've got

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two or three emails I have to respond to um where you shared your story with me and you shared

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what a difference these podcasts make and makes a huge difference in me.

Steven Webb: 00:24:24

I'm deeply grateful for you reaching out to me. You can do that via my website. I don't know if

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I mentioned it yet, but it's StevenWebb.uk take care. Have an amazing week.