Today we dive into the significance of the sacrament of confession, especially during the Advent season. Addressing common concerns and misconceptions, we explore what confession truly is, how to prepare for it, and the immense grace it brings into our lives. Through practical advice, scripture, and teachings from the Catechism, this episode encourages Catholics to embrace confession regularly, not just during Advent, and highlights its transformative power in our faith journey.

------

Episode Sponsors

Ave Maria - In Memorize Scripture, Catholic speaker, podcaster, and worship leader Jackie Francois Angel invites you on a 12-month journey into the timeless beauty and transformative power of scripture memorization. With 120 carefully selected verses, each organized into 12 thematic chapters, Jackie equips you with practical tools to make memorization simple, meaningful, and accessible.

https://www.avemariapress.com/products/memorize-scripture

Crunchi - crunchi.com/mariwagner

West Coast Catholic - westcoastcatholic.co

------

Follow Along:

Ever Be Podcast Instagram

Mari Wagner Instagram

West Coast Catholic Instagram

Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the ever be

2

podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

3

I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

4

I know there's something here for you.

5

Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

6

and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

7

If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

8

modern world, then this is for you.

9

Welcome to Ever Be.

10

mari-wagner_1_12-17-2024_161058:

All right, been on my heart to share

11

about for a little bit and one that's

been requested quite a few times,

12

um, by you guys on my Instagram DMS.

13

I've gotten a couple messages of people

asking me to talk about Confession

14

into kind of break down a little bit

more about what it is, how to do it.

15

Maybe it's been a while.

16

Maybe you haven't gone to confession a

long time and you're kind of nervous.

17

Um, or maybe like, just what can

it do for us in our faith life?

18

And as we're in the midst of

this beautiful season of Advent.

19

I thought it was a fitting time to

talk about it because actually Advent

20

does have a penitential side to the

liturgical season, not as heavily

21

as Lent does obviously, but it does.

22

And I think that that's something

that we don't talk about a lot or

23

put enough emphasis on obviously,

because we are in full like Christmas

24

mode and celebration in this season.

25

And especially since in our

culture, like Advent isn't a thing.

26

It's really like, It's just

Christmas, you know, some people

27

celebrate starting November 1st.

28

It's like full on Christmas.

29

Um, and so our culture doesn't really

allow us to have that space for Advent.

30

So I think the whole like celebratory

part of, you know, the Christmas

31

that we know in our culture kind

of takes over and distracts us

32

a little bit from like the true.

33

The true essence of Advent and the

fact that there is a little bit of

34

a penitential aspect to this season.

35

Advent is a time of preparation, of

waiting, of hope, um, of preparation,

36

like I said, not just for Christmas, but

for Christ to come into our hearts, um,

37

to be more fully like born in our lives

and in our families and in our homes.

38

In one of the most powerful ways that we

can prepare ourselves for the coming of

39

our Savior, whether that be on Christmas

or his second coming or our time to

40

meet him at our death at our judgment.

41

, right.

42

That's what Advent also is about.

43

It's about us reflecting on

his coming, whether it be this

44

Christmas or his second coming and

how can we be prepared for that?

45

And so a way that we can prepare

ourselves is by going to the sacrament of

46

confession, reconciliation and respect.

47

And receiving His grace, His

mercy, and starting anew.

48

I know that sometimes confession can

be intimidating or it's something

49

that we avoid because it's, yeah,

intimidating, um, but it's truly a gift.

50

It's truly a, , powerful sacrament that

we should not shy away from and that

51

we should not avoid because there is

so much goodness that comes from it.

52

It's truly a place where God's

mercy and love meet us in the

53

most profound and healing way.

54

And so today I want to encourage you.

55

I want to share some practical insights.

56

I want to share some, , quotes from

the catechism that will help support

57

this conversation and just hopefully

remind you why confession is a great

58

idea as a practicing Catholic to go to

regularly and not just during Advent,

59

but throughout the whole year, but

hopefully this is a little bit of a

60

nudge for you to go to confession, um,

in these last few weeks of Advent, if

61

you haven't already, and just truly

prepare yourself and enter in a little

62

bit more prayerfully into the rest of this

Advent season before our savior is born.

63

So to start, let's talk about what

the sacrament of confession really is.

64

The sacrament of confession is

also called the sacrament of

65

reconciliation, and it's one of the

seven sacraments of our Catholic church,

66

which was instituted by Jesus himself.

67

And we see this in scripture.

68

John 20 22, 2 23.

69

Right after his resurrection,

Jesus says to the apostles.

70

Receive the Holy Spirit.

71

If you forgive the sins

of any, they are forgiven.

72

If you retain the sins of

any, they are retained.

73

This was that like priestly

authority that he gave the apostles

74

to forgive sins on his behalf.

75

And what we believe in the Catholic

church is that the priest in that moment

76

is actually in persona Christi, which

means that he's like standing in for

77

the person of Christ and that it's not

the priest forgiving your sins, it's

78

Christ forgiving your sins through the

ministry of his servant of God, right?

79

The priest through his ministry,

the Lord is able to give us

80

mercy and forgive us of our sins.

81

right here in John 20 where we can read

exactly where Jesus gave his apostles

82

this authority is just so powerful

because it shows us that God wants us

83

to be forgiven and God wants us to seek

that forgiveness through this sacrament.

84

Because he wants us to

experience his mercy.

85

It's about healing.

86

It's about restoration.

87

It's not about making

us feel shame or guilt

88

It's about bringing us back into that

beautiful relationship with him and

89

giving us more wholeness more healing

And remember that the sacraments are

90

avenues for grace and grace is this kind

of like mystical thing that we can't

91

always like Put our, you know, pinpoint

what it is or how to describe it.

92

But it's basically just this like

supernatural, like gift from the Lord.

93

This like love that he gives us

this like easiness that he gives us.

94

Grace is just like giving you

the ability to do basically what

95

the Lord is calling you to do.

96

Being a human is really hard.

97

Living in this broken world is really

hard and doing what the Lord has called

98

us to do without grace is super hard.

99

And so we need grace to be able to

live a Christ centered life and to

100

follow what God calls each of us to do.

101

And so the sacraments are one of the

ways that we can receive this grace

102

and the sacrament of confession,

you bet, is a really powerful

103

avenue to receive God's grace.

104

And I want to read from the catechism as

well, because I think it's so important

105

to truly just go straight to the source

where the teachings of our church come

106

from and to continue to form ourselves

in knowledge of what does my faith teach?

107

Why do we do these things?

108

So in the catechism in paragraph one,

four, two, two, It actually says those

109

who approach the sacrament of penance,

obtain pardon from God's mercy for the

110

offense committed against him and are at

the same time reconciled with the church.

111

When we sin, we damage our relationship

with God and we saw that from the

112

very beginning back in the garden.

113

When the Lord says, you know, all of

this is for you to take and to eat except

114

the fruit of the forbidden tree, Adam

and Eve disobeyed, and didn't trust

115

the Lord and went and ate of the fruit.

116

Sin entered the world and

this perfect relationship we

117

had with the Lord was broken.

118

And every time we sin, we kind

of like go back to that, right?

119

Like our beautiful relationship

with the Lord was broken once

120

again, and we need to reconcile it.

121

And confession is this

avenue that we have to do so.

122

And truly it's one of the greatest

gifts we've been given as Catholics.

123

Not every Christian religion has this.

124

It's a beautiful gift that we have to

restore our relationship with the Lord.

125

So why is Advent such a good season

to seek the sacrament of confession?

126

Advent is such a special season.

127

It mirrors the call of John the Baptist

when he's preparing the way for Jesus.

128

He says, repent, the kingdom

of heaven is at hand.

129

Prepare the way of the Lord

and make his path straight.

130

Think about this for a moment.

131

Advent isn't just about decorating

our homes and preparing our home for

132

the big party we're gonna have either

Christmas Eve or Christmas morning,

133

and the opening of the presents.

134

It's about preparing our hearts, our

souls, our mind, our families, and

135

our homes for the coming of Christ.

136

I think because it happened, 2000 plus

years ago, it's so easy for us to kind

137

of just brush it off or just kind of

it for it to become just this, this

138

buzzword of like, Oh yeah, the coming

of Christ or the newborn King, you know,

139

but the reality is like, we remember

this every single year for a reason,

140

because it is the most important thing

that has ever happened in history.

141

The Lord's birthday, the day that God

decided to become incarnate, to come into

142

our world so he could send us his son.

143

and save us and open the gates of heaven.

144

It's a big deal you guys, we have to

remember that that is the true reason

145

for the season as cliche as that sounds.

146

I love that saying because it runs and it

sounds great, but because it's so freaking

147

true, this is the reason for the season.

148

And so we want to make sure that

we are appropriately preparing for

149

the spiritual reality that we are

celebrating on Christmas day One of

150

the best ways to do that is by clearing

the clutter in our lives, right?

151

And so personally I love to do a deep

clean of my home before christmas and

152

then spiritually We go to confession

because we need to do a deep clean of

153

our souls and kind of just clear out all

that spiritual clutter that we may have.

154

And I just love that analogy.

155

I think because it speaks so much to

me, I think women in general can relate

156

to this a lot, but me especially,

because I really need a clean area.

157

Like the peace that I feel when my home

is deep cleaned or like when the kitchen

158

is clean and you know, there's no clutter

around and there's not like piles of

159

laundry, the peace that I feel when all

of that is Done and organized and clean

160

is so much, and I'm able to like think

clearly and like do the things that I need

161

to do in my life besides tend to my home.

162

It's so similar for us in the spiritual

life as well let's be real, nothing

163

brings us more peace and joy than

knowing that we have been forgiven and

164

that we are walking closely with God.

165

So how often should we

be going to confession?

166

Let's just talk about this as like

a general, like practice throughout

167

the year, not just during Advent.

168

How often should Catholics

be going to confession?

169

I get this question a lot and

I feel like there are varying

170

answer answers out there.

171

So I just want to set the record straight

and hopefully it's helpful for you.

172

The church officially teaches

that we must confess any mortal

173

sin at least once a year.

174

And this comes from the catechism

175

before receiving the Eucharist.

176

The teaching of the church is that

you are not to receive the Eucharist

177

if you are in a state of mortal sin.

178

You can only receive the

Eucharist if you are Catholic

179

and you are in a state of grace.

180

What is a mortal sin?

181

A mortal sin means that it's

something that is very grave.

182

It means that you knew it was

very grave when you did it,

183

and then you did it anyways.

184

Those are the three criteria for

something to be a mortal sin.

185

Venial sin basically means that you didn't

know it was a sin or it was a really

186

small sin, um, comparatively and those

venial sins, uh, are removed, like you

187

are forgiven and those venial sins are

removed when you receive the Eucharist,

188

but the mortal sins, you must go to

confession to be forgiven for those.

189

And in order to receive the Eucharist,

you have to be in a state of grace and

190

have already confessed your mortal sins.

191

However, the church also encourages

us to go to confession regularly

192

throughout the year, because

let's think about it for a second.

193

I don't know what your life is

like, what your sins are like, But

194

it's very likely we're falling into

mortal sin more than once a year.

195

And even if you've already overcome

like most mortal sin in your life,

196

like we know that there are

many different ways that we are

197

sinning throughout our life.

198

And it is necessary for us to go to

the Lord and come clean and receive his

199

grace in the sacrament of confession.

200

Because this sacrament

helps us grow in holiness.

201

I'm gonna read from the catechism

202

It says, the regular confession of our

venial sins helps us form our conscience,

203

fight against evil tendencies, let

ourselves be healed by Christ, and

204

progress in the life of the spirit.

205

Like I said, when you go to confession,

when you receive the sacraments,

206

you receive grace from the Lord.

207

Supernatural.

208

Grace, imagine if we

only went to confession.

209

Once a year, we are missing out on so

many opportunities to receive supernatural

210

grace, to continue in the fight, to

grow, to be strengthened in the face of

211

temptation, to turn away from evil and to

choose the Lord and to grow in holiness.

212

There are many amazing saints

that we know and love, like Padre

213

Pio and JP too, that recommended

that we go to confession monthly.

214

Why?

215

Because the more we receive

God's grace, the more we grow in

216

virtue and grow closer to him.

217

Think of it like tending a garden.

218

If we're regularly weeding out our sin,

the soil of our heart becomes more fertile

219

for God's love to grow, for

virtue to take root, for holiness

220

to take root in our lives.

221

So let's get practical.

222

If it's been a while since you went to

confession, let's just go over a few

223

pieces of advice of how to prepare.

224

One, you want to do an

examination of conscience.

225

This is a step by step reflection that

leads you through the different things

226

that you've experienced, different

actions you've taken, or even omission

227

of actions that you've taken throughout

the past, you know, X amount of time

228

since you last went to confession to

kind of reflect on how your life is

229

aligning with the way the Lord wants

you to live the way he's calling you

230

to live and different examinations.

231

They'll all pretty much lead you

to the same place, but they'll

232

take different approaches.

233

One of them may have reflections

based off the 10 commandments.

234

One might do it based off

the seven capital sins.

235

One might do it based off of, certain

sins that are more prevalent in

236

different stages of life for people.

237

So if you look it up online,

there's examination of conscience

238

for college students, for young

adults, for mothers and wives.

239

Um, they all pretty much do the same

thing and we'll probably get you

240

to the same conclusions to help you

reflect on any sins in your life.

241

But, depending on where you're at in

your life, maybe one, the way one is

242

worded will be more helpful than another.

243

So to do this, just take some time

before confession, whether you want

244

to go to the church, maybe 20 minutes

early, to just, Read through that

245

examination of conscience reflect

and pray and just really ask the

246

Lord to make those sins clear to

you on your heart I always do this.

247

Sometimes you don't know everything.

248

You don't remember everything, you

know, we're not all Constantly thinking

249

about our sins all the time, and so

taking some time to pray to reflect

250

and even just straight up ask the Lord

like Lord Any sins that are on my heart

251

that I am not aware of Please reveal

them to me, please make them clear

252

so I can bring them up in confession.

253

That's really helpful.

254

Second, be truly sorry.

255

There's a difference between shame

and guilt and this sacrament is not

256

meant to make you feel shame, but

guilt is actually a healthy thing.

257

Guilt is something that the Lord has

given us, um, to feel in our conscience

258

when we have done something wrong and

it indicates when we have done something

259

wrong and feeling that guilt and feeling

sorry for our actions is truly necessary

260

for us to really be able to enter into

the sacrament well and receive his grace.

261

Because if we're not truly sorry

for something, we can't truly be

262

confessing it and mean it right.

263

And then we can't actually be open

to receiving God's grace because if

264

you're not truly sorry for it, you

might not actually believe that you

265

need forgiveness and God's grace.

266

And so therefore you're not

going to be open to receive it.

267

So you need to be truly sorry

and have a resolute desire to

268

change your actions afterwards.

269

So to never do those sins again, now we

know that we're human and that's probably

270

not going to be true for a lot of us.

271

We were going to sin our whole lives, but

we really, truly need to have the desire

272

to turn away from sin and to do our very

best from that day forward to not do so.

273

Then you're going to go into confession.

274

You're going to do the sign of

the cross and you're going to say,

275

forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

276

Tell him how long it's been

since your last confession.

277

So I say, you know, it's been a month

since my last confession, three years

278

since my last confession, you know,

40 years, 10 days, whatever your

279

time is since my last confession.

280

And then I just go into it, right.

281

And then you say, and you know, And these

are the things that I want to bring to

282

confession today, or these are the sins on

my heart that I want to bring to the Lord.

283

However you want to word

it and then share them.

284

If you get nervous, I recommend that

you write them down on a piece of

285

paper or on a notes app in your phone.

286

Maybe as you're reflecting

on that examination of

287

conscience, you can take note.

288

Honestly, this is what I do because I

get nervous that I'm going to forget

289

them and I don't want to forget my sins.

290

I want to be able to confess them all.

291

So I take note either on a notepad

or on a note in my phone, While I'm

292

doing my examination of conscience.

293

And then in that moment in confession,

I can read through them and I don't

294

write them out like detail, you know,

word for word, I make little notes.

295

And then in the moment when I'm confessing

these sins, if there's any other detail

296

I want to add or any questions or, , any

specific moments that I want to bring

297

up, then I'll share those in that moment.

298

And then you can just say, you know,

and that's all that's on my heart.

299

You know, and then the priest will

probably say a few words, depending on

300

what the priest's time looks like, how

many confessions he has to get through.

301

He might give you some words of advice.

302

On how to overcome this sin or maybe

a different prayer so that you could

303

incorporate into your life different

things like that he might ask you

304

some questions and then he's going

to give you your penance and your

305

penance is probably a prayer or

whatever action that he has you do to

306

just like finish this the sacrament

to just to complete the sacrament.

307

It's a sign for you to express your

love and gratitude to the Lord for his

308

forgiveness and to repair those sins.

309

Remember to do your penance

as soon as possible.

310

I just try and do it

right after confession.

311

I go kneel back down in the pew and

I say whatever prayer, usually it's a

312

prayer that the priest has given me.

313

Um, if you forget to do your

penance, technically you're

314

Confession is not valid.

315

And the penance is the last step for

you to kind of like seal the deal,

316

receive the Lord's mercy and forgiveness.

317

So don't forget to do your penance.

318

And just remember it's okay, and

totally normal to feel nervous.

319

I mean, You're talking about your sins.

320

It's not comfortable.

321

Right?

322

And it's okay that it's uncomfortable.

323

Actually, I think it's a good practice

that makes us grow in holiness and

324

stretches us and really makes us

realize the weight of our sins.

325

And that's a good thing.

326

But just know this.

327

God is God, right?

328

He's omnipotent.

329

He is all knowing.

330

He already knows your sins.

331

And nothing is too sinful

for him to forgive.

332

Nothing is too scandalous for

him to hear, for him to love you.

333

He is always ready to forgive you

with open arms and a full heart.

334

And as Pope Francis says, The

Lord never tires of forgiving.

335

It is we who tire of

asking for forgiveness.

336

So if you have been nervous to go back,

or maybe you have a sin that has just

337

been constantly brought up in confession

and you are just embarrassed or just

338

tired of bringing it up, don't be tired.

339

Don't tire of going to confession, right?

340

The Lord is never tired

of giving you forgiveness.

341

It is us who tire to continually

go to him and ask for it.

342

So keep fighting and don't give

up because when you leave that

343

confessional, you are transformed.

344

You're not just forgiven,

but you are transformed.

345

You have this newness of life within

you, this new restoration in your soul.

346

Confession brings peace,

knowing that you are reconciled

347

and close to the Lord again.

348

It brings strength and gives you the

grace to resist future temptations,

349

and it brings healing and restores your

relationship with God and others too.

350

If that was something that

you brought up in confession.

351

It's a true spiritual resurrection.

352

Like you were dead and you are back again.

353

It's like the prodigal son.

354

And just like in that story, the Lord

will always welcome you back home.

355

So, just to wrap up, take this

as my official invitation to

356

you, my encouragement to you to

go to confession this Advent.

357

Let Jesus meet you in your

brokenness and let him restore you.

358

Don't hold back.

359

Don't let fear stop you.

360

Confession is a gift of God's

mercy that is waiting for you.

361

Know that I'm praying for you, and I'm

going to be saying a special prayer for

362

you if you are listening to this today,

if you are struggling with confession,

363

I'm going to be praying that you receive

the strength and the grace to be able

364

to go back, to do it, uh, maybe bring a

friend and hopefully to go more often.

365

I know that I need that more in my life.

366

I know a lot of us need

that reminder more often.

367

Confession is something we need to be

seeking out regularly, and I know that we

368

will all experience the many, many graces

and fruits in our own life if we do that.

369

I hope your Advent continues to be

peaceful, prayerful, and beautiful, and I

370

hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.