One day I went to my son's room to look for something and I ended up finding a bunch of vapes and vape paraphernalia there. I will just say that I did not remain calm. I was livid. And it was fortunate that he was not home at the time because I needed time to calm down. Let's be real. I get triggered and need all the tools I teach here to help myself remain calm through these challenging times

In this encore episode you will walk away with

-the facts about vaping and smoking

-how to talk to your teenager about it before they are offered it (ideally)

-what to say to them after they have started

Look, I'm a respiratory therapist and could not prevent my teenagers from experimenting with vaping. Let there be some relief in that for you.

Send any questions to me at Jessica.stwrt@gmail.com

Learn more about me at www.jessicastewartcoaching.ca

This powerful podcast explores how  moms  and  parents  can navigate  anxiety,  overwhelm, and grief  while building resilience,  confidence, and emotional intelligence, offering tools for better communication, active listening, and setting healthy boundaries to foster trust, reduce yelling and punishment, de-escalate conflict and escalation, and strengthen relationships with teens  through empathy, calm, and lasting harmony.

Hey there, it's Jessica here and I'm

just in the process of making some

2

changes to my podcast to hopefully

make it better for all of you.

3

And in the meantime, I'm just going to

repost some of the most popular episodes.

4

And first up is the episode I recorded

early on about vaping and smoking.

5

As some of you may know, I am a

respiratory therapist and a certified

6

tobacco educator, and one day I went

to my son's room to look for something

7

and I ended up finding a bunch of

vapes and vape paraphernalia there.

8

And I will just say that

I did not remain calm.

9

I was livid.

10

And it was fortunate that he was

not home at the time because I

11

for sure needed time to calm down.

12

And I tell you this for.

13

Two reasons.

14

So one, let's be real.

15

I get triggered and need all the tools

I teach here to help myself remain

16

calm through life and especially

while I was raising my teenagers.

17

And also I am a respiratory therapist

who literally talked till I was,

18

well, not literally talked till I was

blue in the face about this stuff.

19

And I still could not prevent my boys

from doing this, from trying vaping.

20

And from trying many other things.

21

So just to hopefully alleviate any kind

of self-blaming or that idea of like

22

if I had done something different, I

could have prevented them from this.

23

I'm.

24

Going to give you, in this episode some

facts about nicotine and the brain.

25

Some things that you can do in the

way of prevention if you happen to be

26

listening to this ahead of time when

your kids are exposed to this, and

27

some other ideas about how to manage

it when they have already started

28

or how to talk to them about it.

29

And so I really combine some facts and

some mindset things to think about here

30

and some life coaching ideas for you.

31

So let's dive in.

32

Anyone out there struggle to remain

calm when dealing with your teenager.

33

It's certainly been something that I have

struggled with in my parenting journey,

34

so that's what I'm here to help you with.

35

This podcast will give you really

practical advice and tips to remain calm

36

when dealing with your teenager, because

I truly believe if you can remain calm.

37

When doing this, you can remain

calm in pretty much any situation.

38

So listen in and enjoy.

39

What I wanna talk to you today about

is vaping and smoking with teenagers.

40

And the reason I'm talking to you about

this is because my day job is actually,

41

I'm a respiratory therapist and I'm

also a certified tobacco educator.

42

So I thought that it might

be helpful to give you some.

43

Information from a presentation that

I created for a public school that

44

I did, for grades six, seven, and

eights, and just went over the real

45

facts about vaping and smoking so that

they could just have the information.

46

And more than likely they

would've been presented with

47

vaping in their public school.

48

Like it is being offered to kids at a

very early age, and kids are seeing this.

49

Early on, well before getting into

the teenage years, and that is my

50

recommendation that as far as talking

to anything that you're concerned,

51

with your teenager about facing, is

to talk to them early about it and

52

when they are in more of a position

to be open to listening to what you

53

think or feel about it before they get

into the teenage years if possible.

54

And I think that this is

so important because then.

55

They know the facts, they

know the information.

56

It won't make them more likely to try

it necessarily, but in the earlier

57

years, if you can do that, then you

there are less rebellious at that point.

58

If you've heard me in another podcast,

I have talked about my own sons.

59

My sons are.

60

19 and 21, and I did talk to them about

vaping and smoking and all of the drugs

61

and sex and I had conversations with

them about that early on, I would say.

62

And I still dealt with my

boys trying vaping, smoking

63

marijuana and they've still.

64

Done all that stuff.

65

They've still experimented

with all of these things.

66

So when I say talking to them about

it is important, it doesn't mean

67

that it's going to prevent them

from trying any of these things.

68

And that's the other kind of portion

of my podcast is then what happens

69

when they do try these things?

70

Like how do you manage your

own mindset around that?

71

So it's not a complete.

72

Guarantee that if you talk to

them that they won't try it.

73

I'm living proof of that and I'm sure

that other parents can relate to that.

74

And if you haven't talked to them

about it, then you're just where

75

you're at and that's okay too.

76

So I just wanted to give you some

sort of concrete information,

77

some questions to think about.

78

So the first thing I wanna look at

is why, and what I ask the kids in

79

the presentation is I ask them, why

do you think people vape or smoke?

80

What I would say is, particularly with

young people, and I deal in my job

81

with a lot of older people who started

smoking when they were very young and

82

they started, a lot of them were kids

when they started, because at that time,

83

smoking was not, it didn't have carry the

84

The stigma with it, I guess, and it,

it wasn't maybe known for a lot of

85

people how, in fact, dangerous it was.

86

So they basically started because,

for any number of reasons, because

87

their friends offered it to them.

88

because they were just bored

one day because it looked cool.

89

there was lots of advertising around it

at particular times when they started.

90

It could have been because

of the job they worked on.

91

If they worked on a construction job and

people around them were smoking, then

92

they were heavily influenced by that.

93

So people start not with the intention

of continuing, and I just have to

94

say that I have a lot of compassion

for people , who smoke and, who are.

95

Addicted to cigarettes and continue

to smoke because they are highly

96

addictive and we often are super

judgmental of people who smoke and have

97

addictions because we think it's just

a matter of willpower and it there is.

98

Some of that to it.

99

There is some of the mental mindset that

has to happen before somebody can quit.

100

But there's also a huge physical

component that we kind of disregard

101

when we think about people who smoke.

102

We just think, well, we don't smoke,

and so they could just decide not to.

103

But I just wanna explain

that a little bit more.

104

So generally people start because of just.

105

Their friends started, they offered it to

them, and then, so really what happens,

106

I'm just gonna go over very briefly,

the effect of nicotine on the brain,

107

because inhaling something, whatever

it , is absolutely the quickest way for

108

that substance to enter into your body.

109

Okay, so the nicotine in cigarettes and

in vapes, if there is nicotine, because

110

in certain vapes there is no nicotine.

111

when you're inhaling something with

nicotine in it, it goes into your

112

lungs and then it goes basically

directly into your bloodstream,

113

and then from your bloodstream,

it goes rapidly into your brain

114

You get like a dopamine high,

like you get a feel good feeling,

115

and that goes into your brain.

116

So this high nicotine level creates

this buzz feeling in your brain.

117

But what happens is nicotine

levels drop super quickly.

118

So as, as almost as quickly as it goes

into your brain, very quickly it goes out.

119

And then what happens then is because

this nicotine is going out of your

120

brain so quickly, you have to just

smoke more and more in order to get

121

that buzz in order to feel good.

122

So it just sort of reinforces

this whole nicotine addiction.

123

And just so you're clear, the nicotine

itself that is in the cigarettes or in

124

the tobacco, it's not, that is not the

dangerous component of the cigarette.

125

That's the addictive

component of the cigarette.

126

But the dangerous component of the

cigarette are all of the toxic.

127

Chemicals and everything that's rolled up

with the cigarette that you inhale, and

128

the fact that it also is a combustible

product so that there's smoke involved

129

and you're inhaling the smoke that is

what makes it the dangerous part of it.

130

So when people say, oh, nicotine is

worse, or if they say, well, I'm not

131

gonna have nicotine gum, I'm not gonna

use the patch, I'm not gonna use that

132

because that's worse than the cigarettes.

133

That's just simply not true.

134

Nicotine has a very It could have

some potential side effects to it, but

135

definitely the cigarettes are the worst,

most toxic component of the whole thing.

136

So it's just very simple effect

of nicotine on the brain.

137

so once.

138

The nicotine addiction is developed and

it can be become developed very quickly,

139

and especially in the teenage brain.

140

There has been studies that have shown

that the level of, or the affinity for

141

kind of dopamine like this, thrill seeking

kind of feeling, or just that feeling good

142

is higher in teenagers than in adults.

143

So.

144

the teenage brain is really

primed for nicotine addiction.

145

And then what ends up happening is because

of the kind of physical component of the

146

nicotine addiction and that feeling of.

147

Kind of instant withdrawal.

148

When the nicotine level drops, then you

start to associate that with everything.

149

So you get agitated when you don't

have the nicotine in your brain.

150

And then you also will smoke just

to feel normal or feel good.

151

And then what happens is you

begin to associate that with,

152

it's your stress relief.

153

So whenever I feel like agitated or

anxious, then I need a cigarette because

154

it relieves my stress and in fact.

155

It.

156

It does in the moment for people,

so it does actually calm them down.

157

But the thing , is that the more you

smoke, the more you need to smoke.

158

So then you end up needing to smoke

or vape with nicotine more and more

159

And then that's why it is so

highly addicted and it can

160

become addictive to the level of

that it, it's actually in the.

161

DSM, so it's like a actually considered

a mental health disorder, like nicotine

162

addiction or tobacco use disorder is

an actual disorder, which results in

163

getting some sort of treatment, although.

164

I think, like I said before,

we treat people as if it's

165

just a matter of willpower.

166

We're very judgmental of people who

have nicotine addictions or tobacco use

167

disorder, and we think it's just a matter

of, well, that they can just stop any at

168

any moment and it's not as easy as that.

169

So how would a nicotine

addiction affect your daily life?

170

This is another question I asked

the students, and that is sort of.

171

Where we can talk to the teenagers and

the kids about this is because like

172

how do you foresee having a nicotine

addiction affecting your daily life?

173

And it's really annoying.

174

I would frame it more and it

could cost a lot of money.

175

A lot of times you're in situations

where you're not able to have access to

176

your cigarette or your vaping device.

177

And this is why I think we see a lot

of vaping happening in schools because

178

we have teens that are addicted and

they physically think they need it or

179

that they can't cope, so it becomes

something that they're dependent upon.

180

And then they have to, , get money to

keep feeding this and , then at that point

181

that they're addicted, they don't really

wanna be dependent on this thing anymore.

182

So it's important to frame it in that way.

183

Now, if I'm talking to kids or teenagers,

I'm not really going to spend too much

184

time talking to them about the long-term

health effects of smoking or vaping.

185

We know the long-term

health effects of smoking.

186

And you can talk about that if

you like, but for the most part,

187

teenagers are not super interested

in the long-term health effects of

188

a lot of things that they're doing.

189

They know that maybe down the road

it might affect them, but right now

190

they're kind of like in the moment.

191

So you wanna focus more on the.

192

Part of it that is , how is it going to

be aggravating to have to quit later?

193

Like it's easier just not to start

than to have to quit this later.

194

And if they actually understand

how addictive nicotine is and how

195

quickly it takes hold of their

brain, they may be less inclined to

196

say yes when it's offered to them.

197

Now the other thing I want to say too

is with regards to vaping, there is a

198

lot of research being done about the

long-term effects of vaping and because

199

it is relatively new there, it has been

around for a while now, , but , , we

200

don't have the amount of research that we

have about tobacco, smoke and cigarette,

201

like long-term effects that way.

202

But there is a case to be made.

203

And what people who have done

research, they won't say completely

204

that it's like safer than smoking,

but they will say that vaping is

205

almost certainly safer than smoking.

206

And some people who currently

smoke cigarettes do use vaping as

207

a means to quit smoking because

it can be deemed less harmful.

208

But in no way is it.

209

A good idea for a teenager who doesn't

smoke anything at all or to, really

210

inhale anything, inhaling something

has no helpful effects on lungs at all.

211

And we just don't know at this

point the damage it will do.

212

But we can't say that it is,

, worse than cigarette smoking.

213

So what I wanna talk about next is.

214

Who are the biggest influences on

teenagers and when they're younger?

215

This is why I'm saying talk to them

when they're younger, if you can.

216

The parents are more of an influence.

217

Teachers are more of an influence,

but as they get older, friends and

218

peers become more influential to them.

219

And if they see somebody doing

something, they are more likely to

220

want to join in or try that thing.

221

So it's also helpful to let them know

that like when you're offered something,

222

you are really going to want to be,

you know, you're not gonna wanna stand

223

out by saying no, it's going to take

a lot of courage maybe to say no.

224

So you might have them rehearse how

they can say no in sort of a cool way.

225

Like, you know, like they

can just say, like you can.

226

Give them all sorts of options, but

you can just tell them to say that.

227

I've just heard that crap is really

bad for you and I just don't wanna do

228

that and teach them to be confident

in saying that and to not second guess

229

themselves because they know the facts

about it ahead of time and going into it.

230

the other influence is that they

would have our celebrities, so

231

singers, actors, YouTubers, internet

celebrities, and there was a time

232

and that there was just kind of like.

233

Free range for influencers

to talk about vaping.

234

There were so many cool looking

ads on the internet and it's kind

235

of just flooded the market for a

period of time, but it really worked.

236

Like these, tobacco companies are the ones

who actually have the vaping companies

237

because we have done a decent job at,

decreasing the amount of people who smoke

238

cigarettes and the tobacco industry has.

239

Invested in vaping, and so they really

know how to market this very well.

240

And it was out there, the advertising,

and I believe it's been shut down, like

241

a lot of it has been shut down, but

it's kind of like closing the barn door.

242

When the horse has already gotten

out, they did a great job and for a

243

while, vaping, at least in Canada,

everywhere you, you could see it,

244

you go in the convenience store and

it was advertised and it was sort of

245

advertised as like a safer alternative to

cigarette smokes and cigarette smoking.

246

And because it was something that.

247

Adults didn't want their teenagers to do

that makes it more attractive to them.

248

So just being aware of

their biggest influences.

249

And this is just a quote from James

Clear who wrote the book Atomic Habits.

250

he said most days we'd rather be wrong

with the crowd than be right by ourselves.

251

So that's what I'm saying about

the peer influence for teenagers.

252

So how do companies market

vaping and smoking to you?

253

Well, I've already talked

about that a little bit.

254

Certainly social media,

movies and television.

255

So there are campaigns out there that are

trying to get smoking and, vaping out of.

256

Actual movies and tv and I have debates

with my teenagers about this all the time.

257

They're like, oh, that

doesn't mean anything.

258

Like they shouldn't, they

should just leave it in there.

259

And it's more realistic,

but it does influence you.

260

When you see it, it influences you.

261

So that's why I'm saying it's

important for you to have the

262

conversation, with your kids.

263

It has stopped now, but there for a

short time were posters and displays

264

at convenience stores and gas stations,

and there were celebrity endorsements

265

and they're in music videos and they

still continue to be in the media.

266

So it, it's out there, which is

why we have to talk about it.

267

They look super cool.

268

Like I showed a picture to the group

that I talked to and vapes and like,

269

there's vape, there's Juul, there's

I'm not sure what the most recent ones

270

are, but they're just coming up with

all of these and they look super cool.

271

They're like electronic gadgets

and they're sleek and they don't

272

look like a cigarette and they

can kind of hide them in , their.

273

Shirt sleeve if they want

to take them into class.

274

And you're just seeing so much of this

going on at schools, and it's tough

275

for the teachers and the principals

to control this, but it's likely

276

because there is lots of nicotine

addiction happening with all these kids.

277

The other thing to note about vaping

fluids is that they actually use

278

nicotine salts, which are, they go

into the system much quicker than

279

traditional nicotine, which makes

them even more highly addictive.

280

So that is another reason to educate

your teenager or your preteen about that.

281

There are some health effects,

of course, of e-cigarette use.

282

long-term and frequent exposure effects

are somewhat unknown at this time.

283

They're working on that.

284

Their short-term cardiovascular

health effects would be increased

285

heart rate and blood pressure.

286

short-term respiratory health effects

are increased airway resistance and

287

decreased airway conductance the most.

288

Concerning, well, even not the most

concerning, but the most difficult to

289

overcome is the addiction part of it.

290

And then more rarely are the unintended

injuries such as fires and explosions.

291

So that doesn't happen very

often, but it is an effect.

292

So how I kind of framed it was

like, do you want to do things the

293

hard way or the easy way, like.

294

Being a teenager is hard enough,

but being a teenager with a

295

nicotine addiction is extra hard.

296

you would need counseling, then

you are going to be needing to

297

maybe have some quit smoking aids.

298

And the other thing is that a lot of

quit smoking aids, such as nicotine

299

replacement therapy or Gums like

patches, anything like that are not

300

really intended for teenage use.

301

So they are used in what's called

off-label use, and some doctors will

302

prescribe them in that case, and there

is a place for that because nicotine

303

replacement therapy is actually like a

clean delivery of the nicotine itself.

304

And without the extra adverse

health effects, the health

305

effects are very minimal with

any nicotine replacement therapy.

306

So just talking to them about,

you know, making your, it's just

307

gonna make your life harder.

308

It's just gonna make you have to

overcome an addiction later in life.

309

And I would really encourage you to

Get all the facts that you can, and

310

there's lots of great resources online.

311

Like if you just Google how to talk

to your teenager about vaping and you

312

find a reputable thing from like the.

313

I don't know if the Tobacco research

unit, but any sort of reputable

314

government agency that has done

the research on these, on vaping.

315

And also it depends where you are

as well, what kind of resources.

316

But there's some great resources about

talking to your, to your teenager

317

about the health effects of vaping.

318

And I will link to some of those

resources in the show notes just

319

to give you a starting off point,

Again, I really encourage you

320

to just have the conversation.

321

Anything you're concerned

about, like what I've found is.

322

That even though you think that your kids

just don't, you may think, you may not

323

think this, but that your kids or even

your teenager having the conversation

324

with them, that they're not listening.

325

They really do.

326

They really do listen and.

327

If you find out that they have done it

or are doing it, that's where I want

328

you to go back to the resources of

this podcast that help you to remain

329

calm about it, because that way you

have so much more accessible to you.

330

And just know I am a respiratory

therapist and my kids have vaped and I.

331

I'm not telling you that I was

able to remain calm because it

332

really was a trigger point for me.

333

'cause I thought, and I've said

before in a previous podcast,

334

like, I'm a respiratory therapist.

335

I cannot believe that this has happened.

336

But lo and behold, of

course, , it, it does happen.

337

And I just went to the knowledge

that I had about it and gave them

338

the real facts as much as I could.

339

And luckily they had started and sort

of quit on their own because they were

340

noticing the health effects as well.

341

If this does happen, you can have

a conversation and understand if

342

they are addicted to it, how that

happened, and maybe understand

343

well why, what made you start, like

get curious about what they did.

344

And although you may be thinking about

the health effects down the road of this,

345

that will not help you deal with the

situation At hand and you will have to

346

work with your teenager and lecturing them

about it and getting in, freaking out at

347

them about it is not going to help them.

348

So just to help try to understand

what they're going through, what do

349

they want, help with quitting and it

will give you so much more access to.

350

Things that you can do to help support

them and to understand what's going

351

on for them, and just have so much

compassion for yourself if that happens.

352

And know that, you know, even if

you're a respiratory therapist

353

and you've told your kids all of

this all along, it doesn't always.

354

Work.

355

It doesn't always prevent them from doing

the things that you want them not to do.

356

just know that you are not alone

and there is help and, , just

357

remain calm and do your best just

to help support them and understand

358

where they're coming at it from.

359

Okay, so I hope this was helpful,

360

But if you do have any, questions

for me or anything, please Send me a

361

message or an email and I will put my

contact information in the show notes

362

if you have any further questions or

want any clarification on this, and

363

if you feel this was helpful, then

please do share it around to anybody

364

that you think might find it helpful.

365

So thanks for listening, and

I will talk to you next week.