On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I talk about why it’s so important to stop believing everyone else’s opinions and to start finding out for yourself what rings true for you.

I share some wicked funny and surprising stories from a recent “experiment” I did selling my stuff online.

I dive into how these real-life encounters with total strangers reminded me that people are far more complex, interesting, and kind than the internet (and our assumptions) make them out to be!

I also invite you to get curious about some of the beliefs you’ve inherited - maybe from your family, our culture, and even the so-called online “experts”...

And to consider how your life might change in wonderful ways if you trusted your own discernment, direct experience, and big beautiful human heart a whole lot more. ❤️

BIO:

Karen Kenney is a writer, speaker, podcaster, certified spiritual mentor, and coach.

She’s known for her dynamic storytelling, her sense of humor, her Boston accent, and her no-bullshit approach to spirituality, self​-development, and transformational work.

Karen helps people to navigate this whole “being human” experience using practical tools, universal principles and stories, and a variety of resources.

KK has been a yoga teacher for 25+ years, has been giving Thai Yoga Massage since 2008, and began teaching it in 2015.

She's also a Gateless Writing Instructor, and host of The Karen Kenney Show podcast.

She coaches clients individually in her 1:1 program THE QUEST and via her HEART-TO-HEART DAYS using Voxer. She also leads a group program and community called THE NEST.

CONNECT WITH KAREN:

Website: http://karenkenney.com/

Podcast: https://www.karenkenney.com/podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karenkenneylive/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenkenneylive/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KarenKenney

It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey you guys. Welcome to

the Karen Kenney show. I'm super duper excited to be here with

you today, and today, I think I'm going to call this episode.

Find out for yourself. Find out for yourself. And if you've been

around for a while, then you already, you already know that

I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of Fafa right. Fuck around,

fuck around and find out. I really love to find things out

for myself. I don't like to just take other people's words for

things. Although I will say this, right, I'm already off on

a tangent. I And we're back. I will say this. I do love reading

a good testimonial. But still, even still, I have to find

things out for myself. I don't even like to like if people will

say to me, Well, what do you think about going to this place?

I'm like, I haven't been there yet myself. I cannot give you my

own real deal, Holyfield, True Blue, firsthand experience. I

don't like to refer to things. I don't like to make

recommendations, until I have found out for myself. Now these

days, given that we have, oh, my god, the internet and AI and

social media, I'm just like dragging my fingers across my

face, just like stretching it out, like, oh God, right, with

all of this stuff, it's so easy, I think to be cynical. I think

it's so easy to think of worst, the worst of people. Now

sometimes they are showing us the worst of themselves, so they

make it kind of hard to not be cynical, but it is so easy to be

cynical. It is so easy to other people. It is so easy to think

of worse to people. It is so easy to be swayed by other

people's opinions and feelings and stories and examples and

whatever, right? But I think it's so important that rather

than taking everybody else's words as the gospel truth, that

that we find some shit out for ourselves. I'm a really big fan

of finding out for yourself, because I think that our own

personal experiences are how we must, how we must navigate the

world right, finding out what's true for us, finding out what

resonates with us, finding out what lands for us. And this can

get a little tricky in family dynamics, because, and I'll just

give you one example, this isn't what the show is about, but I

will, because I know somebody's probably going to think this.

It's like, there's this weird thing that happens in New

England families. Or we could say New England families, or

mass hole families, or whatever. Or some people might even say

Italian families, whatever families fill in the blank, like

there's this code of loyalty where they're like, if I don't

like somebody or something, you automatically have to not like

them or that thing too. And I just think that's a way of

making your world very small. And a lot of times we have to

take into consideration,

right? Who has the opinion, who's telling the story, what

lens, what point of view, what whatever, what's their trauma,

tragedy, drama, you know, where they come from, things. So I

just think it is so important that we find things out for

ourselves, with the caveat, of course, that we don't put

ourselves in danger to find shit out. You know what I mean? Okay,

so I think it is like, I think, like, go try some things. Go

experience some things. Go talk to some people. Go read some

books, do your own research, find out for yourself, because

for better or for worse, at least, you're going to know what

you think, what you feel, what your own experience has been. I

think we give way too much of our own power away to the so

called experts, to the so called influences to, you know, to

whatever. And yes, there are people out there who have been

doing things a really long time, and I might even do a whole show

on this. You know, there are times when people say to me,

Well, I've been doing this for like, 25 years, and I'm like,

Yeah, but if you've been doing it wrong or fucked up for 25

years, like that doesn't impress me. Time doesn't impress me all

the time. It's like, what is your depth and level? And can

you apply this to more than just this one thing, meaning, so

often I'm like, I'm like, a lot of times people can only teach

other people exactly like them, and I'm like, but can you apply

even like this to say, in a yoga class? But can you meet all the

different people who are in front of you? You know what I'm

saying? And sometimes, yes, of course, there will have to be a

specialty class because of physical limitations or

whatever, certain situations. But for the most part, you guys,

what I'm saying is like, find out for yourself, and let me

give you some experiences that I've had. And.

I think this is so important naturally. I think I kind of

come to this wanting to find out for myself for a lot of

different reasons, but one of them, which is kind of come to

my attention more recently in the past, maybe I don't know

what's it been? What year are we in? Like eight years? So I

don't, I don't. I am not an expert in, like, human design. I

know a teeny tiny bit, but one of my friends Meg Haynes, some

of you might know her as Meg marinaccio, but Meg Haynes

meghanez.com you can go check her out. She knows a lot about

human design, and one of the things she told me about my

human design chat, in my human design, of like, how I how I

kind of show up in the world is I have what's called a line

three, right? And I hope you get curious about, like, what your

chat, what, what it might reveal to you, whether you believe in

this stuff or not, you don't have to drink the Kool Aid and

start running your life based off of what your human design

chat might reveal. But I do think it's interesting. And I

think of all these tools of ways of just like, kind of reflecting

back to us more information about ourselves. And if we're

curious, we can learn all kinds of things. So I have a line

three, which is basically called the experimenter, sometimes

called the Mada, but not the Mada in the way that we think of

Mada, but it's like the experimenter. So this tells you

everything, right? So some of the things that are like wicked

important to me in the way that I move through the world is that

so many things are about trial and error. I gotta try things

and find them out, right? So we are often like pioneers. They

say we're pioneers who test life. We find out what does and

doesn't work through direct personal experience. That is me

100%

I've got to go and meet the person and do the thing and go

to the event and listen to the pod. I got to find out for

myself what I think I love to hear what other people think.

But then I'm like, Hmm, let me go have my own experience. And

then I can kind of reflect against it and match it, or

like, go, like, Ooh, that was not my experience at all, right,

and get curious about it. We often tend to have

resilience and mastery, meaning, like we face a lot of frequent

setbacks because we're trying so many things, right? So while we

might face a lot of frequent setbacks, what it really ends up

doing is those experience cultivate our own deep wisdom.

We end up, like, taking our failures, and we kind of turn

them into practical data. Like, oh, this is what I learned. This

is what I discovered. And I really love that, even with

teachers and people that I really, really respect, or books

that I've read that have been like life altering, I'm like,

Yeah, I've got to now go practice this. I've got to now

put this in to practical, everyday applications, like down

to earth, spiritual applications, or whatever, to

find out if this is something that is for me, something that I

personally will find useful, right? So I end up with with a

lot of resiliency, because I get knocked on my ass a lot, but

then I learned from it, or I try to learn from it, not try to

learn from it, do my best.

We also end up having what they call authenticity, because we

tend to connect with others through our genuine, often

humorous and humbling life stories and field failed

experiments, right? So we can say, oh, yeah, I tried that one

time. Let me tell you what happened. And that's exactly

what I'm doing today on this podcast is I'm going to share

with you an experiment. I just did a situation, or like,

several situations that I just experienced. And it's a little

it's good storytelling, but it's also like meaning, like, I hope

you're going to find something in it that will be helpful,

using story to explain some things. But often my loss is

your game, because I go out and try something first, and then I

report back. And I love to be steadfast. I love to be

resolute. I love to make my full report on things. And we also

tend to be what they call we have the messy path. So line

threes, we are meant it says, I'm reading this one directly.

It says line threes are meant to break old bonds, habits or

projects that no longer work to foster progress and evolution.

Amen, double. Amen. Hands to that. I am all about that. Yeah,

they say this is how it's always been. They say this is how the

system is. And I'm not really into systems that don't actually

work. I'm not into systems that are press I'm not into systems

that are not inclusive. I'm not really into systems that tear

other people down, or paint pictures about other groups of

people or whatever that aren't true, that are just full

bullshit and like I said, right now in the world, but the

political divide and the divisiveness and the hatred and

all the stuff that gets spewed online between the left and the

right and the conservatives and the liberals and this and that,

right? I'm always just like, hey, look, I gotta go find out

for myself and the experiment that I just recently did, which

I'm gonna tell you about right now, but before I do so, like, I

tried something recently, I'm gonna share with you what I

discovered, but what also kind of prompted this podcast today,

kind of putting all the pieces together.

Yeah, is a quote from Jonathan Franzen. Jonathan Franzen is a

famous author. He's no longer with us, and he wrote a book

called father away. And this was this quote, and I mentioned it

before on another episode, but it stays with me. I love this

quote. He says this. He says, When you stay in your room and

rage and sneer or shrug your shoulders, as I did for many

years, the world and its problems are impossibly

daunting,

but when you go out and put yourself in real relation to

real people or even just real animals, there's a very real

danger that you might end up loving some of them, and who

knows what might happen to you then.

So today, I'm going to tell you what happened to me when I went

out and put myself in real relation to real people, but in

a different way. Because, of course, we do that all the time,

right? If you have a sweetie, if you have friends, if you have

family members, but I went out and, I mean, I went out, but,

like, people kind of came to me, and you'll see what I'm talking

about in a minute. Okay, story time. Buckle up for safety.

Okay, so you, like me, might have been a kid that grew up

around like, flea markets and Yad sales, garage sales, all

that stuff. My grandmother Kenney was kind of a notorious

yard sale up. But when you grow up, kind of broke, when you grew

up, kind of like first world poor, right? Trying to find

things on the cheap. Like, I remember we were, like the kids

of like, the hand me down clothes we would get, like,

bags, garbage bags, big, brown, hefty bags, or green, those old,

those green bags, right? The dark green bags with other

people shit in it, people's kids who had outgrown stuff. It would

come to, like our house, and we'd pick through it, and I

remember, like, going through stuff and finding stuff, and,

you know? So we were like, those kids, right? We did a lot of

yard sales and all that stuff. But nowadays they have, like,

online things. So there's like, Etsy and Poshmark, and like the

marketplace and Craigslist. There's even like online garage

sales and online like groups where you can like post shit

that you have for sale. And there's even like swap like swap

meets and stuff like that. So it's really kind of cool. So I

was like, I want to sell some things. I was like, some of the

things were, like, dumbbells and stuff like that. Because I was

getting new ones, I was replacing my old cast iron ones.

I wanted to get rubber plated ones. Blah, blah, blah. So I

have these different things, like items in my house that I

like I wanted to sell. Now, the cool thing for me is that I tend

to keep everything, like, if I buy something new, I always keep

the paperwork for that thing. It could literally be like a noise

machine or a humidifier or a little whatever the fuck I keep

everything because I don't know. I like to always know, like, if

it breaks, how do I fix it? Is there a warranty on this thing?

It had never occurred to me that it would come in handy years

later when I want to sell something, or months later, or

whatever. But I do so I have, like, a system, of course I do,

if you know me, of course I do. So I wanted to sell some things

online, and I had never done it before. So I reached out to

somebody I know who was really good at selling stuff, and I

asked them. I was like, so okay, I want to do this thing. I want

to do this experiment. I want to find out for myself, like, what

this thing is like, and how do it? And so they had told me

about what they have done, and then they started to describe

their experiences. And I got to tell you, it wasn't like a super

positive one. It was like, the thing that I consistently heard

from people is this, get used to just accept the fact that people

are going to be flakes. I heard that all the time, people are

going to set appointments and then not show up. People aren't

going to meet you when they say, people are going to be flakes.

Okay? People are going to low ball you. People are going to

try to haggle with you. People aren't going to want to pay what

you're actually asking for. People are always working an

angle like data. So basically, mostly what I was hearing is

that you can go ahead and try to do this, but just be prepared

for a really unsatisfying experience, right? And I was

like, Huh? I mean, but so many people do it, how, like, is it

really that bad? And I'm like, I'm gonna go out and find out

for myself, right? Because this is how I do things. It is, it is

how I learn, and it's from my own learning, especially as a

teacher and a mentor and a speaker and a storyteller a

writer, that I'm like, Oh, I can take these experiences and then

use them right as somebody who communicates. I'm like, these

are like, I so I'm going to break down some of the items

that I sold and some of the experiences that I had, because

this was me going out into the world. I'm like, I'm not gonna

sit in my room and in my house and shrug my shoulders and sneer

and be like, Oh, we're all fucked and everybody sucks, and

dadada just judging the rest of the world and being cynical. I'm

like, I want to see this was like, a huge experiment for me,

and I got to tell you, I was pleasantly surprised. I was.

Really surprised, especially after all of the stuff that I

heard, like all the danger Will Robinson and people are going to

let you down, and people are going to be a drag. Now, I will

preface it with this. Many people did try to lowball me.

Many people did try to work an angle. But my approach to this

was like, I'm not here to play fucking games. I'm gonna list

these things at the price that I want, that I already think is

fair. A lot of times I discounted things like 50% from

what I paid for them, and they some of these things were, like,

still brand new. So I'm like, I'm not haggling, I'm not

playing this game. I'm not doing bullshit, right? So that Pat was

true. Now that is just how it is with yard sales. You mock

something like, you know, you do a yard sale, you do a garage

sale, you mark it for a buck. People are like, Well, you take

50 cents. Will you take? Like, I grew up watching humans in

action, right? So that didn't bother me so much. That part I

expected. But like, the flakiness and all these other

things, like the weirdos that are gonna, like, be careful,

like, meet in a public plays like all the information that I

got, okay, so one of the common threads that I found that I

thought was so fascinating is that number one, and I kind of

know this Pat about people, but people really love to be seen

and heard and to be asked questions about themselves. I

already know this as somebody who interviews people, as

somebody who communicates with people, right? And it works out

because I'm wicked curious by nature, so I love to learn about

people and talk about people, but it's amazing how much

information a person will give you about themselves within

moments of meeting them. I think it's a it's a fascinating thing,

and you can please write to me and tell me if that's also your

experience. But so I might change some of the slight

details of the these people, because, you know, I mean, it's

not like I just, you know, just to be mindful, you know. But

some of the, some of the details don't really matter, like, I can

just leave them as they are. But one thing I was selling was, I

had just bought a weight bench and some plates, right, some

rubber bump up plates, right? So they were, like, practically

brand new. And I had a few other items, you know, like a step

bench, like, you know, to do, like step aerobics or whatever.

Like, certain things that I had, and this person shows up, and

they come out of their car and

and so, like, I'm always like, what are you driving? Data,

right? And I always do this very safely. I make sure there's

another person you know, that I don't do this alone, whatever.

So, you know, person shows up, they come in and as they're

they're grabbing things as they first step into my house, the

first thing that they see in my basement, really, is they see

these huge bookshelves, and one bookshelf has, like, all these

Stephen King books on them. And they immediately start talking

to me about Stephen King and Stephen King books and what an

impact they've had on their life. And I'm like me too, and

so we have this whole long thing. Then I find out that

they're a chef, and they're a chef in Portsmouth, and they're

actually a chef in a building right next door to one of my

best friends businesses. So we have all these layers of

connection. And by the end of this conversation, I'm learning

about they wish that they like they want to write. They want to

get back to writing. So I'm learning all about this person's

family, their dreams, their desires, what they do for work,

who they are, and they're like, you've got to come sometime and

let me cook you a vegan meal. And it's like, oh my god, like

that was literally my very first experience. This person showed

up on time, in fact, writing to me. I'm leaving right now. This

is my eta, like, whatever. I'm like, great. Like, so

responsible, so friendly, so cool. And I was like, wow, they

paid my asking price. They were really friendly. They were

really amazing. Like, faith in humanity starts to be restored,

right? Not that I ever lose it, but this these days, it can be a

little rough out there. You know what I'm saying? It's a little

tough sometimes to and I always say, This is why I try to focus

on the good, the beautiful and the holy, right? I tend to see

the good in people. I tend to see the good in people. And that

shiny veneer sometimes can be worn down a little bit by what

we see happening in the world, and what we see, like, you know,

the comments you read online, the vibe, the energy, the

attacking, the wars, the hatred, the misogyny, the Epstein files,

the raping children like you just it can be a lot on the

psyche, right? It can be a lot on the nervous system. It can be

a lot on your like, hopefulness, right, for the world. So I was

like, wow, that was a really good, positive encounter. Like,

I love it. And I learned that this person is, like, as a chef,

they're like, you know, my life has been very busy, you know, I

put on a little bit of weight. I want to, like, get back in

shape. And I was like, Oh, it made me so happy that my things

that I was selling was going to be, you know, used for good use.

I was like, that's awesome.

Okay, the second person shows up. Now, this is a trip. Now,

again, the common theme that ran through this for me is that

everybody, pretty much except for one person, they had to keep

bumping out their time. But I totally understood, and I had

the time to give that day, so it wasn't a big deal and but they

would touch base with me every time, like they'd be like, I'm

so sorry, dadada. And I'm like, No problem. I'm just working

from home. Don't worry about it. Blah, blah, blah. But everybody

like showed up on time. I thought this was amazing. So

this next person, I was selling a little walking treadmill pad

that I had. Okay, this person pulls up. Holy shit, you guys. I

was not prepared for this. I can't believe I haven't told

this story before yet.

So this person pulls up, and they pull forward so that I'm

standing in the basement right, and I can see, like, how do I

explain this? They're in an SUV of a kind, right? Being vague,

they're at an SUV of a kind, and they pull forward enough past my

basement door that I can see that they have installed in

their back window an electronic sign. And as soon as I see the

sign in the flashing lights, you know those signs where the the

message scrolls across it, so like you have to keep reading.

And I immediately think to myself, Oh, this must be a burst

business person. This must be a fellow entrepreneur. I wonder

what their business name is or whatever, right? Because, of

course, I'm just like, doo, doo. I wonder what this person is. I

can talk to them about their business, whatever, but this is

what the sign literally says. Now, this one stopped me in my

tracks. This one I was not prepared for. I got to tell you

I was real. I was like, okay, buckle up for safety. Literally,

what the electronic sign is scrolling in big red letters, is

this breaking news? Exclamation point, exclamation point,

exclamation point. Stores are running out of tampons due to

the rise of pussies in this country.

I was like, Oh my God. What have I gotten myself into? I'm like,

here you are, FIFO wing, here you are fucking around and

finding out. And it's like, Oh my God. And I was like, Look, it

would be so easy to judge this person, to make an assumption

about them, like what I think, how they politically lean, like

whatever. And I was like, okay, just practice what you preach.

Meet this person with curiosity. Meet these people like with

without judgment. You know what I mean. And it turns out that

this person was incredibly polite, was incredibly kind, and

they were there, like, they're like, I said, Oh, you're getting

this for yourself. And this man says, No, I'm getting it for my

wife. She really wants one, and she has no idea. And I saw that

this one was, like, practically brand new, and it's perfect. And

I can't wait to surprise her. And then he tells me how he's

gonna set it up in the kitchen, like, just have it be there in

the kitchen when she gets home. And it's like, this beautiful,

lovely gesture. And I'm just like, like, flabbergasted. I'm

just like, I just love how surprising people are sometimes,

you know? And I was like, Wow, here I am just relating to real

people, putting myself in relation to real people. And

even though I'm looking at that sign and going, oh my god, like

the little mass hole kid in me, like, thing, you know, like

laughs at it, the other part of me is like, oh God. Like, I'm

shaking my head right? Like, I'm scratching my head, like, oh

god, is that what we want to be putting in the like, because I'm

thinking the level of commitment, the level of

commitment that you not only had to buy this thing, you had to

install this thing. You had to get power to this thing. You had

to choose a message it was gonna say. You had to, like, type it

in, and then you just let it run, even when your car's

packed, even when your car's not idly, like, your car's the sign

is just going. I was like, Oh my God, it was such a trip. And

then they turned out to be incredibly kind and thoughtful.

And I was like, wow, people are so fascinating. You know, next

person comes for, like, a workout bench that I had, and

their their person, their sweetie, actually had mutual

friends of mine, but she sent her husband to, like, pick it

up. So that was really fun. We connected, you know, online, and

then the husband shows up, and I end up talking to him, like, and

all these people. Here's the other thing I ended up talking

to all these people. Most people said to me, Look, people are

going to show up. They don't want to talk. Like, just do the

exchange. Get in, get out. Like, let it be done. And I got to

tell you, these people, on average, hung out for like, 20

minutes minimum, like talking, sharing, telling me things about

themselves. I'm asking questions, I'm learning all

about them. It was fantastic. So this guy, turns out he's a

landscaper and he does stone work, and we were just talking

about his approach to design, and I'm like, how did you get

into.

This business, and learning about their childhood dreams and

like how they started being like a like a stone and landscape

person, and telling me the stories about the clients that

they had and some of the richest places up in the lakes regions

like Winnipesaukee, and just the experiences with rich clients

versus people, and the level of appreciation and gratitude

that's often lacking with people who actually have more. And so,

like, it's a study in like, in like, human behavior. And I just

find the whole thing fascinating. And, you know,

we're talking about my yacht and, like, the things I could

do, and I'm just like, how cool is this? Like, I'm making money

and I'm meeting people and I'm learning shit. Like, how amazing

is this? You know what? I mean? It was just so incredible. And

then I was selling and I hope you're finding this interesting

in some way. How this applies to you is we've got to go out and

interact with others so we can decide for ourselves what we

think. Right? It's like, again, it's so easy to just label

people and judge people and throw people into these columns

or into these groups of people and say, well, they're all like

this, or they're all like that, and I don't want to be put in a

box. I'm like, Hey, wait till you have your own experience

with me. If I have had people in my life who don't like me based

on what somebody else said or somebody else did. And I'm like,

Hey, I've grown since then. Hey, I'm different since then. If you

guys want to keep telling the story about me when I was 1721,

30, whatever the thing is, I'm like, have you met me lately?

You know? So I like to give people, you know, somebody a

mess, whole kid that I know the other day said, give people

enough rope to hang themselves with. And I'm like, Well, yeah,

so a way of saying that is, give people the opportunity to show

you who they are. Give people the opportunity to show you

their real colors. Now I'm not naive. I know that these

interactions were only like I'm seeing like a peep show, a

little peek into the window of who people are. But people are

sometimes, often more honest with total strangers than they

are with their closest loved ones. This has just been my

experience. It has been my experience almost my whole life,

because a lot of times they're not worried about the backstory

and being judged and how what they're saying is going to be

interpreted through the lens of how they know that person always

takes things or says things or feels things or whatever. So I

find that it's really, really, really

revealing. People are so fascinating. So I had this gray

swivel sliding chair, and it was actually like a maternity chair,

but I had bought it because sometimes when I like to read or

when I'm holding, like, you know, back then, I had so many

animals, and it was like being able to hold the like, you know,

Toby pajamas in my lap, or Binky buttons, and I'm like, Oh, I

always want a big chair that I can recline in and rock and

swivel and read or whatever. But I didn't use it that much,

right? I had this idea. It's always like, the idea is better

than your head than what you really do. You think you're

going to use something double A man hands. If you've ever

experienced that, you buy something thinking, oh, yeah,

this is so great. I'm going to use it. And then you find out,

like, oh, I never, I'm making this up, but like, oh, I never

use those cross country skis, or I never actually took up

archery, or I never whatever. So it's better on paper than

reality. So I was like, All right, this chair is, like,

really in good shape. I'm going to sell it now. Here's the other

thing I'm kind of I saw this post the other day. It made me

laugh so hard. And my sister and I have often joked that, you

know, and my sweetie often says that I would have been a really

good detective, because I'm really curious, and I love to

research, and I love to find out ship and I'm fascinated by

people, so I often think, Oh, I would have been a good private

investigator. And I saw this woman the other day doing a

video, and she says, I'm a find out ologist. And I was like, oh

my god, I'm a find out ologist too.

So anytime somebody would send me a message like, is this still

available, right? I'm interested in this. Is this still

available? I would always go to their profile. I always go to

their profile and see who I'm dealing with. I'm like, okay,

who's this person who's reaching out to me, who might be coming

to my home address, or meeting me in a parking lot somewhere,

or whatever? I'm like, I need to know who these people are. So I

always go and check them out. And I'm like, Oh my God, these

people who want to come and get this chair, they're like,

Christian pastors. So I'm thinking to myself, Oh, my God,

they're pastor leaders. They one does like youth, you know, youth

worship leadership, the guy that was the woman, and the guy did

whatever he did. And I thought, Oh, my God, they're in front of

people talking all the time. They're probably going to come

in and they're going to want to talk with me, and they're going

to share with me. No, they were so quiet, they were so reserved.

All I really got from them is, like, where they lived, that

they were about to have a baby, that this was their second baby,

and that they didn't have, like, one of these chairs the first

time. And they just thought it would be really good, and they

thought it was great, and it was really clean, and they loved it,

and blah blah. And it was like that they that was a.

Pretty quick one. But the people that I expected to be, like,

boisterous or very talkative or comfortable meeting a stranger,

they were the total opposite. I was like, This is so fascinating

to me. They were shy, they were quiet, they were reserved. So

you also got to know, like, when I was like, Well, if I keep

asking them too many questions, which is my nature, I didn't

want to freak them out. I

didn't want to scare them away with my curiosity, which some

people might find nosy, but it's really, I'm just really

interested in people, okay, but these last two are, like, some

of my favorite experiences. And again, I'm sharing all of this

because I like to be surprised. I like to see how my ego mind

immediately judges, like, what the past is. I like to be wrong.

Sometimes. I like to find out, like, oh, you had an idea of who

you think these people were, or you have an idea of who you

think that person is. Like, I love to be surprised. I love to

find out some shit, not just about other people, but about

myself and how I think and why I think that way, and the stories

I tell and what I believe this is an exercise and like, finding

shit out about yourself too. Okay, so the last two were like

the best. Okay, so I was selling these dumbbells in a weight

rack, like I said, because I just gotten I just we just my

sweetie and I just upgraded, because we're strength training

at home now. So

first thing I realized about this person, just simply in the

way that they're talking to me, is that they definitely have a

military background. Everything is very abrupt and Curt and

specific and intentional. And it's like, I'll be there in

like, you know, 1200 hours, or 10 100 hours, or, you know,

whatever. And I'm like, having to do, like, the code in my

head, like, Oh yeah, that means 130 like, whatever it was. I'm

like, Okay. And they're like, I can come and get these today.

They're like, very direct, very right now, let's do this thing.

And I was like, Okay, what's and they write to me. I said, Well,

when you tell me that you're I said, Where are you coming from?

I always ask that, where are you coming from? And they'll say,

whatever, gilmington, like Hopkinton, con kid, whatever.

And I'm like, okay, as soon as you tell me where you're coming

from, and you're on your way, you're actually on your way.

I'll send you the address, right? So this person is like, I

send them the address, and within seconds, they're like,

eta,

eta, like, I'll make up a time, eta, 212

and I'm like, I'm like, shit that's in like, eight minutes,

like they're coming, you know what I mean? And I stopped

laughing, they pull up, I shit you, not. It is 212 like, it is

like, on time, not a second to spare in the driveway. Let's go.

And they get out. And they're in a uniform of sorts, right? And

I'm immediately like, Okay, I recognize the haircut, I

recognize the color of the clothes, I recognize the vibe, I

see the patches, like, whatever. And I'm like, Okay, this is,

this is a serious person. This is like a military veteran,

like, does not mess around. And you're thinking, This person is

going to be like,

This person is going to be friendly, they're going to be

polite, but they're not going to let you in, right? Not that I

have any spectacular expectation that they need to, but you

immediately, your brain starts to write a story based on

visuals like what you're seeing. When I tell you that this person

revealed so much personal stuff to me in a short period of time,

I was like, holy shit. And the things that I mean I found out

when they were retiring. I literally, I'm not kidding you,

when I said they told me, I'm retiring in this many months,

this many days, this many hours. And I was like, I said, like,

counting down the clock, huh? Yeah. And then I'm gonna X, Y

and Z. And they start to tell me their dream, right? What they're

going to do, you know, I want to buy an RV. I'm going to chase

the sun. I'm going to do this. I find out that he, this person,

is the youngest of a certain number of siblings, and that

he's the only one left. I find out, like, I mean, unbelievable,

unbelievable, the depth of what this person revealed to me, and

I'm just like, this is a no nonsense person. And I was like,

wow. And two things that I took away from this, besides being

surprised and just being pleasantly surprised, they say

to me, right? Because they've seen it all. They're not only a

military veteran, they're on the force, right? They're on the job

of some kind, that's what I'm comfortable saying. And they've

seen it all. And you can tell, I mean, I can literally tell by

what I see in their eyes that they have seen the worst of

humanity. So when this person turns to me after meeting me in

my sweetie, and he says, you know? And he.

Miles at us, and he says, there's still good people in the

world. Like, oh, I swear my heart grew like, three sizes,

like the Grinch. It was just like, just like, more like, just

like, blew out of my hat. My heart just blew out of my chest.

I was like, wow. And then I said

I was asking him about the weights, and he said they're for

my friend's son, because this stuff is really good for kids.

This is good for young men. And I was like, I 100% agree with

you. I said that's really kind that you're picking them up for

him, meaning like, oh, the friend must have saw the ad and,

like, sent the guy whatever, and he says they don't even know I'm

doing it yet. And I was just like, oh my god, this person

with this tough and gruff exterior is just a sweetheart,

is a thoughtful person, is thinking about others. It was

such a remarkable I will never forget that exchange, probably

as long as I live. That was a really, really powerful

experience for me, because they told me some of the things that

I don't feel comfortable revealing, because they told,

you know, they told me, to my face, it's not, not my story to

tell. Let me put it that way. And that was a really powerful

experience. And I just thought, Man, I just love that you you're

surprising me by surprising somebody else's kid. It's not

even his own kid. Oh, my God, I don't think he has I don't think

he had children, okay, and then the last one you guys, this was

so fantastic, and this might be helpful for you or somebody you

know or love. So I had these orange floor chairs, and I had

this pink exercise mat, and this person reached out to me, and I

had two different listings, right? Two different ads, or

whatever you want to call them, and they responded to both of

them, and they didn't realize yet I was the same person. So

when I responded, they put two and two together, and they're

like, Oh my God, you're the same person. It would be great if I

could pick these up together. And I'm like, Cool. So again, I

immediately I'm a find out ologist. So I go and find out

for myself who is this person, and I see and what I see makes

me so happy that I practically want to give the stuff away. And

so she's a young woman, and she's opening, and I'm shouting

this one out because I want people to support her business.

So she's a young woman, she's like 25 she's opening a new spot

in Concord, New Hampshire, and it's called Little bloom studio,

and what she is going to be offering is a calming sensory

space for neurodivergent children and young adults, so

that they can have experiences in a safe environment. And she

has a lot of background working with neurodivergent children,

ABA, but she also used to be a hair stylist. So what she's

doing is she's creating a place with that offers sensory

friendly haircuts and yoga classes. How amazing is that

it's going to be this little studio in Concord on Manchester

Street, and I'm just going to read directly it says it's

intentionally designed to have everyday experiences feel more

accessible and less overwhelming, especially for

children and young adults who may struggle with unfamiliar

noises, unpredictable movement and traditional group settings.

I'm like, Oh, my God, I love that my items are going to be in

this little yoga studio slash hair cutting salon, where people

who are neurodivergent young children, whatever can come with

their families and have an experience that is suited to

helping them. I was just like, Oh my god. So I did actually. I

gave her one of the items, like, much cheaper.

I was like, You know what? Just here, like, I'm just so happy

that you're taking it and it's going into a good place. It just

made me so happy. My experience was the opposite of everything I

had been told about, what I should expect, selling things

online. Yes, like I said, there were a few people that tried to

low ball me, and I just wrote back and said, Hey, I priced

this at a price that I already thought was fair. And they would

be like, no thanks. And I'm like, Okay, have a good day.

Whatever. I didn't take it personally. I wasn't willing to

budge. And something that the military guy said to me is, he's

like, here's the thing, when you see something, it's a good price

and you want it, you got to strike. He's like, Yeah, you got

a strike. You just got to do it. No nonsense. And he's like, if I

think the price is fair, I'm just going to pay. I'm not going

to not going to try to get somebody. I was like, Oh my God,

you're a person. I'm like, yes, yes, yes, and yes. So you guys,

here's the big question that I want to leave you with, and I

hope you have found this, at the very least entertaining learning

about this. Maybe you didn't. I'm just really fascinated by

humans and human behavior and why we think what we think and

say what we say, and believe what we believe, and do what we

do. And I think if we if more people took the time to be

curious about themselves and each other, we would have a

different world, rather than just laying our beliefs and our

patterns and our fears all on top of each other, right? Our

racism, our misogyny, our sexism, our bullshit, if we

really understood why we are imprinted with those beliefs

and.

The first place, and we did some work to unlearn some shit the

world would be a different place. Hence why I do the work

that I do. But I had to start with myself, and I continue to

work on myself, because whenever you start to find those sticky

places or those tricky places, or those places in you where

you're like, Hmm, I don't think that thought, that belief, that

story is serving me or anybody else anymore, we need to do some

work. So here's the question I want to leave you with, what

have you been believing about other people and yourself based

on what other people have told you? What have you been

believing about other people in yourself based on what others

have told you, whether it's the internet or the pundit on TV or

the so called expert or doctor or wellness influencer or

whatever the fuck, because there's a gazillion opinions

coming at us all the time. And it was so funny. There's this

guy right now online who does these videos, and he just did

like this graph, right? You know, you do a graph where one

side, like, think of it like an L shape, right? So there's the

upside and the across side. And he was drawing and saying about

opinions, and he was drawing this graph, and he says, the

less, the less I ask, the more you should not tell me. The less

I ask, the more you shut up. It was so funny, and it was all

about, like, nobody's asking for your opinion, the less people

ask, which is nobody's asking, the more you should shut up and

not give your opinion. I thought it was so funny, but the world

is not designed like that right now. Right now, everybody wants

to be an armchair expert. Right now. Everybody wants to be

selling you something, whether it's their opinion, their

product, their program, their bullshit, whatever it is. So we

have to have greater levels of self discernment, but we can't

really discern when we don't have a foundation of self trust

and trusting ourselves. So here's my second question, how

might things change? How might your life change if you started

getting more curious for yourself,

if you started trusting your own discernment and yourself more,

and you might do this through reading more books. You might do

it by doing your own research, listening to you know, reputable

sources, finding out, doing the homework to find out if it's a

reputable source, right. If we start to trust ourselves more,

have more discernment, get more self knowledge, get more self

integrity, self awareness, whatever, we are going to have a

really different experience in life. And I really want to

encourage you to just stop drinking everybody else's Kool

Aid. Go out amongst the real people and have real

relationships. Go out and have relationships with animals, with

nature, with others, with strangers, and come to find out

for yourself what you think, what you feel, what you believe,

what your experience has been. You might not be a line three,

but there's some shit that you could really benefit from of

taking some of those traits of being curious and going out

right far following find out for yourself. This is what writers

have known all along. As writers, we often say I write to

Discover what I think, what I feel and what I believe. We

think we know what we believe, and then we start talking, and

then we start writing, and then we start having conversations,

and we realize that our minds are actually malleable. There is

neuroplasticity. We can learn things, unlearn things, and

relearn things, but not if we're not willing to find out. And you

got to find out for yourself.

Be curious about the person in your family that everybody has

always said they're the black sheep. They're this, they're

that. Because I guarantee you, there is another side of the

story. I guarantee you, there is a different perspective. And if

we're more willing to put ourselves in other people's

shoes, to suspend our judgment and to be more curious, you

might just find out that we are all a lot more alike than we

think. And look, I stand pretty firmly right. I always say I go

back to being an independent, but I tend to obviously lean

right, more towards the democratic and the liberal side.

I am like, that's how I kind of, I guess I don't do identity

politics so much as saying I'm this thing. It's more about,

what are the issues? What are the things? What am I getting?

So I'm not shy. I'm very open about what I think politically

and where I land and where I stand, you know, but you still

got to find out shit for yourself. You don't just drink

the Kool Aid, right? You got to be curious. So I hope that this

has been helpful to you in some way. At the very least, I always

say, I hope that the podcast either is, you know, educates,

elevates, enlightens, entertains, or makes some sort

of emotional connection. So I hope at least one of those

things happen for you today. I appreciate you so much for being

here and spending time with me and you guys, if you want to

have some real life in person, hands on experience.

Experiences, and you're local, you know? I office stuff. I do

Thai Yoga, massage slash tie yoga, body work. I often have

workshops in town, right? I teach yoga classes. I do

mentoring. You can mentor over Voxer, a Voice app. You don't

even have to get on a call. Have a little hot to hot day with me,

but I'm always I like I cannot be replaced by AI. That's one of

the things I don't have to get. I'm not a fan of AI at all, but

me and my work is very literally hands on, right in Person A lot

of times, so I can't be replaced by some machine. AI is just a

thinking like it's really not even thinking. It's more like

computing machine. It's never going to replace human

heartbeat. It's never going to replace the warmth of a human

body. It's never going to replace the experience of human

presence, of somebody being in a room with you and really paying

attention and asking you questions and and noticing your

body language and your energy and how you feel and responding

to that. And that's one of those experiences that I really had

with this whole thing, of selling these things to total

strangers, who I got to meet in real relation, in real time. And

I know it's just a snippet, it's just a little window of time,

but I could be in the room with them and see their body

language, and see the pain in their eyes, or see their bodies

and see what their how they hold themselves, how they talk, you

know, and that's irreplaceable. And I think the more that we and

I know I'm on a tangent right now. So thank you for being

here, but I think this is what the world is longing for, and

it's only going to get stronger that analog in person small

groups. I want to be seen. I want to be heard. I want to

actually feel connected to real humans, not through devices, but

like looking each other in the eye, you know, being able to

hear their breath, being able to see them. So it's a powerful

thing. So I don't know you guys, find out for yourself. Thank you

for being here wherever you go. May you leave the animals and

the people in yourself and the environment and the planet

better than how you first found it wherever you go. May you and

your presence and your love and your energy and your curiosity,

your desire to really find out, be a blessing. Bye. Hey, thanks

so much for listening to the show. I really love spending

some time together. Now, if you dig the show or know someone

that could benefit from this episode, please share it with

them and help me to spread the good word and the love. And if

you want to be in the know about all of my upcoming shenanigans,

head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign

up and join my list. It'll be wicked fun to stay in touch.

Bye. You.