Relationships, ha! Relationships are your life.

How do you relate to your environment?

How do you express yourself. How do you set boundaries?

What kind of friend are you? How about authority figures ?

The quality of your relationships will define how healthy and happy you are. This is just a teaser. We will go way more into detail and I want to give you tools on how you can heal and revive relationships and learn to forgive “unforgivable” situations. Next time we will talk about your history. What shaped you ? What are you still holding on to which is limiting you ? I’m excited to reconnect . Thank you for listening and sharing . Love Aurora

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:09

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

Unknown: 00:00:13

your host Aurora. And I'm so happy to have you here. I'm so

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happy to be spending a little bit of time with you today, we

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will be talking about relationships.

Unknown: 00:00:27

Yeah.

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So this is still season one where I'm introducing the

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podcast to you guys, it is about self improvement connection to

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yourself, the better you feel with yourself, the better and

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stronger, you can shine your light and step outside into this

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world. And be a good person, not to be a good person, but you

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just feel good about yourself. So in the first episodes, I

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talked about how the body, the mind, and then your emotions,

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and your environment is influencing your well being. And

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today I will be talking about relationships. I've feel

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relationships is life. If you look at it, you were born into

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this world where gravity took over and all of a sudden you had

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to

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breathe air,

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you were disconnected from your mom. Really, if you look at it,

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it's a very intense experience that a newborn baby is going

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through, they're come from a place where it's warm and

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sheltered, where there's no need to cry or beg to get water or

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food or shelter. Everything is provided right now, right there.

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And then they are being born into this world onto this

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beautiful planet that is so abundant. But all of a sudden,

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they are completely dependent on others. They have to express

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their needs, they have to set boundaries and really fight for

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surviving, even though the most most of us who listen to

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podcasts or have expensive devices here never had to

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struggle seriously for life. But some newborns have to struggle a

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lot and are not provided with everything they need. And if you

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were provided with everything, that was still a big traumatic

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experience, you were thrown into a new world where you had to

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find your place. So everything from then on as about your

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relationships, if you didn't have good relationships back

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then or right now, when you're born, then you were lost because

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they need to provide shelter and food for you. Because you can do

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it on your own. It's not like a baby animal. The human baby is

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actually way more vulnerable than any mammal on this planet.

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So the way you relate to your parents, your primary caregivers

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is so critical. So how do you relate to your environment? What

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did you learn from an early age on in my previous podcast, I

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said that from age zero from conception, until approximately

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year seven, your brain is like a little sponge that downloads

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everything in her or his environment without really

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questioning, they just copy and paste and go about their lives

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and try to fit in. And this trying to fit in is really a

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huge thing because as soon as you don't fit in as soon as you

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do something that your parents dislike, you are being exposed

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to to a threat and that is being excluded from the community. And

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now as an adult, you may be in your 30s or 40s your 20s doesn't

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matter. You're independent now. But as a child This is an

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extreme fear and discomfort that every child is aware of. So now

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you can maybe see already that it is so crazy how much

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influence our parents have at that age. Because we will do

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practically basically literally everything to stay connected to

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our source of love and warmth, food and shelter. And it is not

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out of mean will that some parents are not giving us what

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we need. When it was the case, it was certainly that they were

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uncapable they behave from their best interest or to say it

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better. My English is getting worse and worse. No, I feel they

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acted from their best self back then yeah, they didn't wake up

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in the morning and say, oh, today I'm going to be a shitty

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parent, they were overwhelmed with having the time to be there

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for you. Having the job having the money having it doesn't

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matter, like every parent has something

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that you can reproach, so to say. And we would dive into that

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a little later on. But if you look at it today, I want to just

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make very clear to you of how dependent you were as a child

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and what you had to go through, maybe or you just downloaded and

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didn't question and it might not serve you anymore. So the way

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our parents relate to each other, for instance, is how we

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see is natural and healthy and primary relationships like love

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and romantic relationships. Now look at people who went through

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emotional abuse with their parents or physical abuse, or

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constantly felt like their sibling is doing better than

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they are doing are constantly feeling they're not enough. And

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what does it do with your brain with your confidence with your

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health, your overall health, it makes you feel as if that is the

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norm. And as if that if you find that now, when you step out into

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the world, is your perfect match, because this is what you

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know, this is what you grew up with.

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And then you can go further you can reflect about. So how are

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you related to your parents? And how did they relate to people

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outside the family? How did they relate to friends? and so on and

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so on? And what did you learn? What did you learn is normal?

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And is it really the best for you? Is it serving you? To the

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best of its ability? And yeah, then then let's go back to you.

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What kind of family member are you? What kind of friend or

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partner are you? How do you see people? Do you liked spending

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time with people? Or are you more of a loner? How do you

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relate to your co workers? Most of the time we spend more time

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with my co with your with our co workers than with our family

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members? How? And this is very interesting part of

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relationships. How do you relate to authority figures? Those are

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such interesting questions, I think to ask yourself and to

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dressed. Next time you go for a walk next time. You drive. Think

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about a goal through your closest relationships, your

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partner, your friends, your co workers, your boss and really

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think out of a bird's perspective how you behave or

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what kind of person you are. I think probably all heard about

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the takers and the givers. There's always people who love

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to give and people who love to take and I see people's energy.

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So bear with me Don't, don't run away right away. Because it

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sounds too esoteric, but it's very simple. I see how some

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people suck energy out of me. And some people add energy to me

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good energy or bad energy. And I always kind of navigate through

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people and feel more drawn to some people and not so much to

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others. And maybe you can notice that in your daily life now to

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Who are you drawn to? Who are you attracted to? romantic

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relationships is another huge topic that I want to address

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later on today, we just touched base on it very superficially.

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Then how do you listen? Do you listen really to the person

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who's in front of you? Or did you subconsciously tried to put

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your perception on to their kind of personality like you see them

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how you want to see them, you don't really allow them to be

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how they really are, because it doesn't fit your concept of a

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good person, what you learned? How do you express your needs,

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and this is really, also very fascinating, because I noticed

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ever since I observe it, and people how extremely different

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people express their needs and what they want. And it can be

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very trivial things with major drama and intensity. Because

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people back then when they grew up, had to fight for attention

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had to fight to to be seen by their parents, because the other

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sibling was the a student was the awesome person and the

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family and you always felt like the black sheep. So now in

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relationships, that person will also feel the need to either be

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with a person who doesn't give them the attention to then show

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those tools of expression, manipulation. Or they will feel

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to totally lost with a person who actually meets their needs,

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because they've never really had their needs met. And then how do

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you set boundaries? It is crazy interesting. See, I'm getting

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really revved up. Now it is crazy interesting to see how

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early children are developing a character. And how some parents

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just can standard because it's not convenient, because it just

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doesn't fit in their model of how they want their child to be.

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And they don't see that a child is a totally different person.

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It is Yeah, made of you and your partner. But it might grow into

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a totally different direction than you are and that is totally

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fine. Because if you allow it, then it's going to be successful

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in that direction and wants to grow. So very early on, you can

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see when you observe young parents,

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if

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it is okay for them that the child sets boundaries, and it

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can be silly boundaries. Like I don't want to kiss aunt

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Catherine on her cheek when she says Hi, I just want to shake

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her hand. And I don't like broccoli, or I don't want to go

Unknown: 00:14:07

to bed at seven o'clock. It is also very tricky for the parents

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don't get me wrong. I'm not here to blame young parents now. Like

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there have to be. There has to be boundaries. But I think it's

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a very fine line where you allow a character to blossom and where

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you give gentle guidance, because it's really the best for

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their physical health and mental health. So going to bed early

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and eating early supper and when the child doesn't want to obey

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then you just tell them what the consequences are and that it's

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really good for them. But when it comes to let's go back to the

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example greeting aunt Catherine on to her cheek by kissing her

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onto her cheek, and your little daughter doesn't want to do it,

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then you have to allow her to say no. Because this girl

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is gonna end up like a stripper.

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And living on the streets? Of course not. But this girl will

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later on have troubles to set boundaries when it comes to

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physical touch. And it is when you hear me speak now you

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probably Yeah, maybe not. But some of you might roll your eyes

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and think, Oh, that's so like minor and she should be greeting

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her aren't like everybody else is doing. But it is not. I tell

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you, it is not. You have to give even your partner in a romantic

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relationship, the space and room to say no to things that are

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totally weird for you and don't make sense. Let's go back to the

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example with a child who grew up with a mother who's scared of

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spiders. That child will have difficulties living with a

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person who absolutely loves spiders, yet they will have to

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find common grounds where one person understands the other.

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And then it can be fine. But you can just tell the other person

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to do something if they don't want to. So this is boundary

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setting, which is a huge topic for me still. And I want to talk

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about it more in the future. But that is it for today. It is how

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honestly authentically Can you show up in the world? Not

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because of others, but because of yourself. How good do you

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feel when relating to other people? Do you feel invaded

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quickly? Do you feel abundant, abundant, you feel rejected?

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Quickly? Do you feel frustrated? Quickly? What is it that that is

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your thing when it comes to relationships, we all have a

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thing. And with healthy relationships, it's useless or

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needless to say, your immune system is great, you're

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resilient, you're creative, you want to go out there and shine

Unknown: 00:17:35

and help others. When your relationships are frustrating

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and not nurturing. And you just feel the need to manipulate in

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order to have your needs met, then it's sex life energy out of

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you and then you get sick and you get vulnerable. So this is

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why it is so important for me to talk about this with you when it

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comes to well being. Because relationships are life. This is

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Episode Five of the Borealis experience if you liked it, if

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you feel like you learn something from it, or my voice

Unknown: 00:18:13

was soothing you made you feel less alone. Please share, please

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subscribe, it would mean the world to me. And in Episode Six,

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I will talk about your history. Although I don't know your

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history. I know we all have a story that we tell ourselves.

Unknown: 00:18:32

That might be extremely limiting A times and I will show you give

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you tools on how you can change that and live a free content

Unknown: 00:18:47

life. I'm sending my love out there. Thank you for spending

Unknown: 00:18:52

time with me today. I'll talk to you very soon again. Bye bye