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From Diagnosis to Empowerment: Thriving with ADHD
Episode 17921st September 2024 • The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast • Kate Moryoussef
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This bonus episode of the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast introduces the new subscription podcast called "The Toolkit," aimed at providing accessible resources and support for women navigating ADHD. Host Kate Moore Youssef passionately discusses the challenges many face in seeking help, particularly due to overwhelming waiting lists and limited access to qualified professionals. She emphasizes the importance of education and self-advocacy, sharing insights from her own experiences and the positive feedback from her audience. The episode features snippets from past coaching sessions and expert interviews, highlighting practical strategies for managing ADHD and promoting well-being. Listeners are encouraged to explore the Toolkit, which offers a wealth of content designed to empower and support women on their ADHD journeys.

This week, I'm bringing you a special bonus 'Toolkit Taster' episode so you can experience some of the amazing content I share each week on my new subscription podcast, The Toolkit.

This bonus episode allows you to dip your toe in and see if it is a resource that will support you.

In this taster episode, you will hear nuggets of gold from:

  • Me! In a short coaching clip, I talk about the importance of shifting into a more positive mindset and looking outside of just medication as the only solution to help us with our ADHD diagnosis.
  • Lizzie Swan - an outstanding neurodiversity expert who also has a lot of personal experience with her ADHD and hormones. She shares some incredible tips on how to start becoming more aware of the impact of your hormones and the effect they have on your ADHD.
  • Katherine Tiddy is a positive psychology expert who helps people feel aligned in their careers and lives to ensure that they are fulfilled in the work that they do. She speaks specifically about post-traumatic growth and the feelings that we face initially post-diagnosis, plus her top tip for dealing with it.
  • Shell Mendelson is an ADHD career specialist who helps people with ADHD find a career that works for them. She discusses some of the ways that ADHD can bring up career challenges and how to navigate them and find joy in a career that aligns with your values and passions.

The Toolkit is all about giving you the resources, support, help and guidance you deserve at my most accessible price ever! Get access to your 14-day free trial here.

Have a look at some of Kate's workshops and free resources here.

Kate Moryoussef is a women’s ADHD Lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed ADHD women find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity. 

Follow the podcast on Instagram here.

Follow Kate on Instagram here.

Find Kate's resources on ADDitude magazine here.

Transcripts

Kate Moore Youssef:

Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EFT practitioner, mum to four kids and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.

Kate Moore Youssef:

After speaking to many women just like me and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with adhd.

Kate Moore Youssef:

In these conversations, you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings, and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on your ADHD journey.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Here's today's episode.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Hi everyone.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Welcome to a bonus episode of the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I'm bringing this to you today because I am so passionate that all of you get the resources and the support and the help and the guidance that you deserve.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I have had so many people messaging me recently, asking me for help, for signposting, for directing, for coaching.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We are really at this unprecedented level of awareness, thankfully, of ADHD and what that looks like, particularly in women.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But we're also at this level where, unfortunately, services aren't coping, or perhaps where you live, there aren't qualified professionals to help you.

Kate Moore Youssef:

The waiting lists are enormous and very, very expensive to get assessed and diagnosed privately.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But also that if we commit to the private diagnosis and we want to take medication, that's a big overhaul as well in our life.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So there's lots of things to consider.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now, my aim and my goal with the podcast and everything that I do is to bring you the knowledge and the education and the understanding so you can advocate for yourselves.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I want to be able to psychoeducate and guide and definitely signpost people to different professionals, experts, people are working on the ground, people are doing the research, and I don't know all the answers, but what I can do is to.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I think I'm good at is connecting you with different people.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And if you're a woman who has been recently diagnosed or you're recently, it's just understanding that perhaps everything that you've gone through in life, all the different challenges have been connected to undiagnosed adhd or perhaps you are parenting adhd, ADHD kids, neurodivergent kids, and you just want some help.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But also you might be curious about yourself or a partner or anyone else.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There's so many different reasons why people listen to this podcast and thankfully I get 98% of you send me really lovely comments and feedback and support.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I am so, so grateful for everything.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I also was recently nominated for an independent podcast award that came through a couple of days ago.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I'm so proud because this is the third, I think, award that I've been nominated for in the health and wellbeing category.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And actually it shows that we are just getting there.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We're understanding the connection between undiagnosed neurodivergence to so many different areas in our life.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And this leads me on to the reason why I've launched the new subscription podcast called the Toolkit.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now, you may have heard me talking about it, you know, if you're on my email list on Instagram, I have been reminding you about it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And this has been born because I don't want to make my resources super exclusive.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I want to make sure that what I can provide is for the masses.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So when I actually went down for a podcast award ceremony a few months ago, and part of being a nominee was to go down to Apple headquarters, which was incredibly exciting, one of the, I think it's probably the best offices I've ever seen in my entire life.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And it was just mind blowing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I just couldn't believe that there I was with a group of a handful of different people.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Yes, it was, it's the Women's International Podcast Awards.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So I was surrounded by different women.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And we're all looking at each other going, can't believe we're here in the Apple headquarters.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And they sat down and they told us about the Apple subscription and who it would work for and how it works.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And it just, I don't know, there was a bit of an epiphany of I would love to provide my resources, my workshops, my exclusive interviews, things that have been behind sort of more expensive paywalls to more people.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And how can I do that?

Kate Moore Youssef:

And so it's not been an easy process, let me tell you that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But it has been worthwhile because lots of you are joining the Toolkit and recognizing that for I think it's 399 pounds a month, I think it's about 4.99.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I'm going to be bringing to you once or twice a week, access to lots more supplementary information than you're getting on the podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I'm going to be opening up all my content, my hundreds of hours of coaching, part of my hormone series, lots of different courses that I've run.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I have so many hours of content that I want to share that's just been sat there in my, my cloud.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And also I'm going to be producing lots of new content specifically for the toolkit.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I'm planning on creating something that actually is a massive part of my business because I can't serve everybody.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I really do have this finite energy and I talk about it all the time, about how prevalent we are with burnout.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And we want to serve and we want to be of help and we want to, we really want to make an impact and guide people and really do good in this world.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But it can't be at the detriment of our own health.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I've learned that the hard way many, many times.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There is a two week free trial, so you can give it a go.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There's pro, probably about four hours of content, four or five hours of content already up there.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So what I wanted to do today, I know it's a very long winded way of explaining all of this, but what I wanted to do today is offer you a snippet of what's already available on the toolkit now.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So if you kind of want your light to sort of try before you buy or you just kind of fancy just dipping your toe in and really seeing what's this all about, like, why is Kate talking about it all the time?

Kate Moore Youssef:

I really wanted to be able to give you, it's about 20 minutes worth of content from the different episodes so you can see for yourself.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And then, you know, if it's, if it's worth it, do it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

3.99amonth.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Personally, I think it's a no brainer, but I know that, you know, lots of people have got lots of other priorities.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So the first clip is me with some solo coaching and I have taken this from a group coaching workshop and I think it'll speak to quite a few of you and I don't want you to feel like, you know, to give up and despondent and this is just the way life is going to be.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Because I come from a positive place.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I come from a place that there's always a way.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And we can do things alongside the medication as well.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There's supplements, there's new ways of feeling more fulfilled in life, more content, bringing in, you know, more joy, connection, community.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Again, I don't want to kind of like throw loads of things at you, but it's just a recognition of maybe there's something else that's not just the medication and not just sort of the ups and the downs of something like deeper of.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Are you feeling fulfilled in your life?

Kate Moore Youssef:

Is there something that's bringing you joy?

Kate Moore Youssef:

Are you listening to that authentic part of you which is wanting to do something different.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But maybe there's like you say this low self esteem and you're worried, nervous, fearful of trying something.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Is this something that comes to mind when you kind of think like if you, I always ask this to my clients.

Kate Moore Youssef:

If money wasn't involved, if the what ifs weren't involved, the judgment of everybody and you could just do something that you really, really want to do without anyone commenting, what would it be?

Kate Moore Youssef:

But I just want to say, you know, very often we think it's the one thing, but actually there's always going to be something deeper under the surface.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And what I've noticed a lot, especially with women who we've probably spent most of our lives prioritizing other people, other people's needs, doing everything for everyone else, people pleasing, perfectionism, the amount of exhaustion and effort that goes into all of this, it's just like a recognition.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And then when we recognize that maybe we haven't, we're not fulfilling ourselves, maybe there's untapped potential there, there's creativity that's desperate to come out.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We are pigeonholing ourselves into a box that doesn't suit us anym all sorts of things.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's just getting curious.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And very often we get curious about other people and other things, but it's almost like we're too scared to ask ourselves what do we really want?

Kate Moore Youssef:

Because when we ask ourselves what we really want, then we kind of have to show up a little bit.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So also knowing that things don't have to be perfect and we don't have to be perfect and there's going to be times where it feels really difficult and we are frozen and we are kind of in this imposter syndrome, you know, place.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But there's also going to be times where, you know, you do a really good job, things feel calm and good and the same time with your career when you know you're delivering something that you're proud of.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But we have these expectations.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It always has to be the same all the time.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We have to just be on an even keel all the time.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And that's not life.

Kate Moore Youssef:

On the next clip is with Lizzie Swan.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now Lizzie is an amazing educator.

Kate Moore Youssef:

She's a neurodiversity expert.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But she also understands hormones and menstrual cycle awareness really, really well because unfortunately for her, she suffered with PMDD for a lot of her adult life.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So she tells us a little bit about how we can help ourselves and our hormones with adhd.

Lizzie Swan:

And I find this really Hard because of my executive functioning.

Lizzie Swan:

But as best you can, try and keep a diary because you will always be asked by healthcare professionals what evidence you've got or what log you've got, or go away and come back in a month.

Lizzie Swan:

But if you can always go into those conversations almost armed with evidence, it's really helpful.

Lizzie Swan:

I know that there are apps available for tracking your cycle.

Lizzie Swan:

I know that in some countries that that's, you know, people are being dissuaded from using them because of data collection.

Lizzie Swan:

But even just in a paper diary or on your Google Calendar, just rating it out of 10, just simply rating your mood out of 10 and then putting an asterisk.

Lizzie Swan:

I remember doing this when I was really young, I think I did it twice.

Lizzie Swan:

But putting an asterisk next to when your period starts and then you can start to almost do a mood tracker.

Lizzie Swan:

There are some great ADHD trackers out there on Etsy and things like that, but they're quite over complicated and you have to be really invested to do some of them.

Lizzie Swan:

But just find a notebook or a diary and just start to track your mood and rate it.

Lizzie Swan:

That'd be the first thing I do.

Lizzie Swan:

I think one of the simple.

Lizzie Swan:

I say it's not a solution, but one of the simple things that you can do in terms of supporting yourself hormonally is around diet.

Lizzie Swan:

And I would never advocate for anybody to restrict any aspect of their diet.

Lizzie Swan:

I always like to say add things in.

Lizzie Swan:

Adding protein to your diet is really essential for anyone with adhd, but it will also help.

Lizzie Swan:

I find if I have a protein rich diet, I crave carbohydrates less, which means I'm eating less sugar and it means that my mood feels more stable.

Lizzie Swan:

So just really thinking about those things like vitamin supplements as well.

Lizzie Swan:

But again, if you have ADHD it can be hard to remember to take them.

Lizzie Swan:

And then once you've got an understanding perhaps of your cycle and how it affects you, then go and speak to your gp.

Lizzie Swan:

Ask to speak to a gp.

Lizzie Swan:

If you don't want to see your normal gp, ask to speak to a GP who is a specialist in reproductive health or women's health.

Lizzie Swan:

And most GP practices tend to have one person who tends to do a lot of the family planning aspect or tends to do lots of discussions around hrt.

Lizzie Swan:

But ask specifically which would be the best doctor for you to see.

Lizzie Swan:

And go in with a bullet point list of how you're feeling and what you know the aspect of.

Lizzie Swan:

I notice these mood swings here and here, so I track your cycle as best you can.

Lizzie Swan:

I'd consider diet.

Lizzie Swan:

And then the last thing I do is reach out to networks.

Lizzie Swan:

Even if you want to just observe other women with ADHD on social media, because having an understanding that you're not on your own, that this is a neurodevelopmental condition and these are not active choices that you're making to dysregulate is so empowering and so important and gives you that determination to keep going.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And now here is Catherine Tiddy.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now, Catherine, like I said, is a positive psychology coach.

Kate Moore Youssef:

She focuses on helping people feel good, aligned, happy, purposeful in their careers, as well as Shel Mendelsohn, which you'll hear soon.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And her business, the Work Happy Project, is fantastic.

Kate Moore Youssef:

She's helping lots of women perhaps pivot or understand their strengths or no longer be held back by the neurodivergence.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Let's hear from Catherine.

Kate Moore Youssef:

After we get this diagnosis, it's like, okay, we've lived life potentially in this languishing state that you mentioned, but often much worse because we don't even know what's going on.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We don't understand ourselves.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And so it's been challenging, it's been difficult.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We then get the diagnosis.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And actually, you know, you talk about this post traumatic growth.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We want to go in that direction, but very often we're stuck in the what ifs and it could have been this way and if someone had helped me, and there's a lot of grief and there's a lot of sadness and anger, anger and resentment.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And we, we have to move through that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But then I, like, want to help.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So we sort of like, recognize, okay, yes, these, all these things did happen, but then it's like, okay, right, like, how can we grow, how can we thrive, how can we flourish, like you say?

Kate Moore Youssef:

So I'd be interested to know a little bit more about this post traumatic growth, because I think this is really relevant today.

Catherine Tiddy:

Yeah, because I think it is.

Catherine Tiddy:

It's that, you know, the first step comes with realizing the current reality of, you know, this is where I am now.

Catherine Tiddy:

This is my maybe new set of circumstances.

Catherine Tiddy:

Like you say, you know, that kind of post diagnosis of this is, this is what I'm dealing with here.

Catherine Tiddy:

And that is never going to be easy.

Catherine Tiddy:

Our brains don't like being in this state of flux, don't like change.

Catherine Tiddy:

So when we're in this sort of scenario, that acceptance, you know, is the first and really difficult stage to go through.

Catherine Tiddy:

But it's then helping people understand, okay, so this is what I Am.

Catherine Tiddy:

And this is where I am.

Catherine Tiddy:

But actually, what do I want to choose to do from here?

Catherine Tiddy:

And I think, you know, I talk with clients a lot about this, is we have agency and choice in our lives.

Catherine Tiddy:

Not always.

Catherine Tiddy:

And it's not always fair, and it's not always equally shared.

Catherine Tiddy:

But where can you see kind of that ability to choose and what support do you need?

Catherine Tiddy:

Probably most importantly, to think about what that could look like.

Catherine Tiddy:

You know, I don't mind sharing.

Catherine Tiddy:

I'm going through this process currently with my son with regard to ADHD diagnoses.

Catherine Tiddy:

And I see in him such super strengths that I hope I can really help him see.

Catherine Tiddy:

And strengths.

Catherine Tiddy:

And understanding your own strengths is a massive, massive part of this.

Catherine Tiddy:

It's one of the sort of fundamental jigsaw pieces of positive psychology is not a focus on the weakness or the deficit or the things that aren't good or that aren't right.

Catherine Tiddy:

It's how do we shine a light on all of the really positive things and the elements of you that absolutely can shine.

Catherine Tiddy:

And it's helping individuals then find those, understand those.

Catherine Tiddy:

Because we quite often have what's called strengths blindness.

Catherine Tiddy:

You know, people aren't very.

Catherine Tiddy:

You can reel off your weaknesses, but we're not very good at identifying our strengths.

Catherine Tiddy:

There's loads of ways we can do that.

Catherine Tiddy:

And I'm.

Catherine Tiddy:

I'll happily share some links that you can put in any notes anywhere around free assessment tools and things like that.

Catherine Tiddy:

There's lots of ways that we can do it.

Catherine Tiddy:

So that's where I often start with clients.

Catherine Tiddy:

Is that sort of first base of let's really understand what lights you up.

Catherine Tiddy:

And it's not just what am I good at.

Catherine Tiddy:

Oh, well, I'm good at blah, or I'm good at presenting or I'm good at teamwork or whatever it is.

Catherine Tiddy:

They're kind of learned behaviors.

Catherine Tiddy:

And quite often our careers are based on learned behaviors.

Catherine Tiddy:

So actually, coming back to it's not about what can I do and what can I do?

Catherine Tiddy:

Well, it's about what really lights me up and energizes me as opposed to depletes energy.

Catherine Tiddy:

And it's understanding that.

Catherine Tiddy:

That I think certainly for a lot of people, and especially those with any form of neurodiversity, it's understanding what are the things they're really good at and how can they really do more of that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And here is Shel Mendelsohn.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now, Shel is a career coach.

Kate Moore Youssef:

She talks to us about finding that ADHD career that works for you.

Shel Mendelsohn:

The ADHD career path is nuanced.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And what I mean by that is there's no real clear answer that the only answers that are required are the answers that come from you and that are right for you.

Shel Mendelsohn:

It encompasses most or all of the elements that are important to you and that you enjoy that really make up the majority of your work day or what you're doing in your work.

Shel Mendelsohn:

With adhd, I think you notice that if you're like me, let's put it that way, it takes us a bit longer to get things done, to reach our goals, or even to get out of the house, right?

Shel Mendelsohn:

We get distracted, we lose focus, we start projects again, we get bored and stop.

Shel Mendelsohn:

Many of us would just love it if we could be the ideas person.

Shel Mendelsohn:

You ever thought of that?

Shel Mendelsohn:

Gee, I wish I could just be the ideas person.

Shel Mendelsohn:

I have so many ideas, thoughts, and my brain just comes up with all these topics all the time.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And then we could let others do the implementation before we give up and then just go on to the next thing.

Shel Mendelsohn:

So the nuances of how ADHD impacts our work life continues in a big way.

Shel Mendelsohn:

When it comes to building the foundation of a lasting career path, that's not a bad thing.

Shel Mendelsohn:

That's actually a good thing because it really, really allows you to get to know yourself, to be honest with yourself, to recognize when Bowles calls a safekeeping self, which is a big part of what I teach, the safekeeping self is that part of you that wants to take you in another direction that can stop you from even finding out about something you're interested in.

Shel Mendelsohn:

Because the first thought is, am I going to make enough money?

Shel Mendelsohn:

What will people think?

Shel Mendelsohn:

What if that.

Shel Mendelsohn:

What if?

Shel Mendelsohn:

Whatever, it can stop us.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And in this process, it rears its ugly head over and over again.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And so one of my favorite teachers once said, if you need things to change to make you feel joy, you're in deep doo doo.

Shel Mendelsohn:

In other words, in the context of career, if you're in a job and you've twisted yourself, found yourself being twisted into a pretzel to make it work, and you're still miserable and you're still feeling all those uncomfortable feelings at work, you know, it's not a great fit, but you try and mold yourself into being the kind of person that they're looking for on the job.

Shel Mendelsohn:

So the only person that needs to change really here is you.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And why is that?

Shel Mendelsohn:

It's because, again, you are in the wrong job.

Shel Mendelsohn:

It's as simple as that.

Shel Mendelsohn:

There's nothing wrong with you.

Shel Mendelsohn:

There's nothing else going on, except that it's not a good fit.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And there's no way that with our brain wiring we can actually make things fit for us the way we want, no matter how hard we try.

Shel Mendelsohn:

Now, some people can go on for years, but eventually it will catch up.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And in the end, you want a work life that is all encompassing and based on the work that allows you to move, shift and change throughout your life.

Shel Mendelsohn:

And it's aligned with feelings of satisfaction and even joy.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So there you have it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

That's your little taster into the toolkit.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I hope you found it helpful, useful.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Maybe you learned something new.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So my hope is that you will join me and you'll share the toolkit for anyone that does struggle, that isn't able to access coaching or expensive workshops.

Kate Moore Youssef:

This is for anyone that wants to help themselves on this new journey of neurodivergence and wants to do it at a lower cost.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So I really hope that it is of help.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And if you are interested, go to Apple Podcasts.

Kate Moore Youssef:

That's where you can click.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Literally, it's like a very easy maneuver.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's just there where you listen to podcasts and click the subscription version.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Like I say, you will get that two week trial so you can give it a go and see what you think.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So I will see you very soon.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And tomorrow sees the launch of a new episode on the Toolkit.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So I really hope you enjoy that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

That's the Shel Mendelssohn one.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Take care.

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