SELF-CARE DURING THE DIVORCE PROCESS. EP 100. 

HOST: Beverly Price, Divorce & Empowerment Coach 

GUEST: Susan Guthrie, Mediator and Attorney

SUMMARY: 

Self-care during divorce is not a luxury but a necessity. The emotional toll of ending a marriage can be overwhelming, and taking care of oneself becomes paramount during this challenging time. Self-care is also more than just spa days and bubble baths. It is about prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being and may entail seeking professional help to navigate the complex feelings that arise. In this turbulent time, self-care serves as the anchor that helps you heal and empowers you to make sound decisions and ultimately emerge from the divorce process with strength and resilience to face the new reality. In this episode of Her Empowered Divorce, your Host, Beverly Price, talks to Susan Guthrie, a mediator, attorney, and the host of The Divorce and Beyond Podcast. Together, they discuss the profound impact and significance of self-care during the divorce process and how you can incorporate effective self-care strategies that can help you show up for yourself, your children, and your family.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence. With the right support and guidance, you can move through the process with knowledge, skills, and confidence. If you’d like to schedule a complimentary private consultation, reach out to Beverly at: https://beverly-price.as.me/Consultation. 

Visit https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/her-empowered-divorce/id1635143315 to access the entire archive of Her Empowered Divorce episodes, and while you’re there, please subscribe, rate, and review our show! 

• Self-care during a divorce is not selfish; it’s a necessity. Always start with your self-care. If you don’t take care of yourself during this stressful time, you will not be much help to yourself, your children, who have amplified need of you, other family members, and other people who need you.  
• Stress and anxiety in divorce. Making hasty decisions based on emotions in divorce is the biggest mistake. Be aware of what is happening for you and to you, take a pause, and do things for yourself (self-care) that will help you get off the hot rock.
• Regardless of your drive to get a divorce, divorce is not something you put a bandage on, and it heal. Once you get through the divorce, you have a new reality ahead, and taking care of yourself will help you deal with your emotions, make better decisions, and get to the other side in a better state. 
• When you are having conversations about divorce, and you feel stressed and emotionally overwhelmed, you are not capable of thinking clearly, and one of the biggest self-care is saying, “I need some time to think about it,” you do not always need to make decisions at that moment. 

NOTABLE QUOTES:

• If you are feeling whole, have more control over your emotional state, and your cortisol and hormones are not hijacking your brain, you are going to make better decisions, and you are going to move forward to a better future, as opposed to moving to a future that is predicated on decisions that were made when your emotions were in control and brain was not functioning well. (Susan) 
• The worst mistake you can make during a divorce is to let your emotions hijack you. (Beverly)
• Even if you don’t generally believe in therapy or believe that you are someone who doesn’t need therapy, please consider situational therapy as you go through divorce and having a coach help you as you go forward. (Susan) 
• If nothing else can pool you out and get you to take care of yourself, your love for your children means you have to love yourself because your children love you, and you have to care for yourself so that you can care for them; don’t make them care for you. (Susan) 
• To have a great life post-divorce, you want to take care of yourself and move forward in a better way toward your future; the decisions you make during your divorce lay the foundation for your new life after divorce. (Susan) 
• When stress hormones are running around in your body, they shut the part of the brain that is rational; when you are feeling that way, you are not capable of thinking clearly, and one of the biggest self-care is asking for more time to think about it; you don’t always need to make decisions at that moment. (Susan) 

FURTHER RESOURCES/RELEVANT LINKS: 

Beverly’s personal Facebook page can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/beverlyprice365/

Women’s Divorce and Empowerment group discussion available at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerecovery

Her Empowered Divorce YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HerEmpoweredDivorce1

ABOUT OUR GUEST: 

Susan Guthrie has been one of the leading family law attorneys and mediators in the country for more than 32 years. As a worldwide expert in online mediation, she has trained over 25,000 professionals in the ethical and practical considerations of transitioning to a virtual practice with her innovative Learn to Mediate Online® Program.  

In late 2020, Susan and legal legend Forrest “Woody” Mosten partnered together to found the Mosten Guthrie Academy to provide top-of-the-line training for family lawyers, mediators, and collaborative professionals worldwide in a virtual format. Her award-winning podcast, The Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, is one of the top 1.5 % of podcasts worldwide, and she is known to millions of listeners around the world as the “divorce voice you can trust!” She also produces and hosts the Make Money Mediating Podcast to support and advance dispute resolution professionals and practitioners.  

Susan regularly presents at professional events and conferences around the world, and her recent featured programs and keynote addresses include the 2022 APFM Annual Conference, the 2022 NADN Annual Advanced Mediation Training Retreat, the 2022 NJAPM Annual Conference, the 2023 NYCDM Annual Conference and the 2023 CILS Symposium in Salzburg, Austria. She is honored to serve as the Vice-Chair of the ABA Section of Dispute Resolution and looks forward to leading the Section as Chair in 2024.

FOLLOW OUR GUEST: 

Website: https://mediate.com/author/susan-guthrie/

 https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susaneguthrie/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanguthrieesq

Email: susan@susaneguthrie.com

 Check out her Free gifts at https://linktr.ee/divorceandbeyond

1. The READY Method for Divorce Mediation Handout

2. High Conflict Divorce Tips Infographic

3. Sample Script for Telling Your Spouse About Mediation

4. Top 10 Questions to Ask a Potential Mediator

ABOUT YOUR HOST: 

Beverly Price is the empowering divorce coach who guides women on their journey before, during, and after divorce to eliminate pain, overwhelm, sadness, and anger and create more knowledge, skill, and peace that she experienced herself.

CONTACT YOUR HOST: 

Website: http://www.herempowereddivorce.com/

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herempowereddivorce/ 

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Email: beverly@herempowereddivorce.com

 CHECK OUT MY FREE EBOOK:12 Steps to Empowerment https://herempowereddivorce.com/12-steps-to-empowerment-1

A Warm Shoutout To Our Amazing Sponsor: SOBERLINK 

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Hi, beautiful. I'm so glad you're here today. We have something very special to celebrate. This is our 100th episode. I can't tell you how grateful I am for all of you out there that listen to what we're doing. Our mission to help divorcing and divorced women is so important to me, and I am so glad that it is a benefit to you. And because it's my 100th episode, I wanted a very special guest.

And so I want to introduce you once again to Susan Guthrie. Susan is a mediator attorney and the host of the divorce and beyond podcast. And it is one of my favorite divorce podcasts. You ought to listen to it. She's been one of the leading family law attorneys and mediators in this country for more than 32 years. And if you ask somebody.

who to talk to that's an expert, her name is always gonna come up. She produces not only Divorce and Beyond podcast, but a new podcast called Make Money Mediating to support and advance dispute resolution professionals and practitioners. And we're gonna talk today about the effects of self-care. How critical is that? Hi, Susan.

Thanks so much for being my guest today. It's so good to have you here.

I am so delighted to be here and congratulations on 100 episodes. That's absolutely wonderful.

Oh, thank you so much. I've just been blessed with so many wonderful guests. You know, we talk about self-care all the time when it's divorce. I can't think of an episode where we don't mention that word. And sometimes I think we hear it so much that we kind of poo it or ignore it. But it's so critical. What are your thoughts about self-care and divorce?

Yes, and I have to tell you, I am so delighted we're sort of looking under the hood of this topic because I agree with you. It's almost become a buzzword around divorce. Oh, take care of yourself, be sure to practice self-care to the point where I think you're right. It maybe goes in one ear and comes out the other.

Mm-hmm.

But something that I know having been in the divorce space for such a long time working with people going through this particular stressful time in life and having gone through it myself, it is absolutely critical to not just getting through the divorce part, but actually setting up yourself for a happy as I always say beyond.

Cough

Yep.

It is absolutely critical. It is not something that is indulgent. It is a necessity during this time.

Exactly. It's not selfish at all. Not selfish. But I think sometimes, and maybe it's the way we were raised as women, historically, that we've taken care of everybody else. Husbands, children, nieces, nephews. But we leave ourselves out of that mix. And so when it comes time for us to do something for ourselves, it's foreign to us.

No, exactly.

It is, and I think there's so much that goes into that. I think societally we are conditioned from very young little girls to put others ahead of our needs. And we found in many family and patriarchal situations that our needs were put below those of others.

Mm-hmm.

The issue here is, and you'll hear it every time someone talks about self-care, but this is truly one of those situations like they say on the airplane, don't put on your own face mask before you help anyone else with theirs. If you do not take care of yourself during this stressful time period, you are not going to be much help, not only to yourself, but to your children.

who probably have an amplified need of you, other family members, and really anyone else. You have to start with your self care.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely, and then something we don't talk about too much, if you happen to work, the effect on your job and your ability to earn a living.

And that's such a good point. There was recently a study done, I think it was by Indeed, the company that helps place people, that they think that the effects of divorce, the stress on employees, people having to take time off, not being fully on their game, all of that above, costs American businesses something like $6 billion a year in lost productivity, yep.

Exactly.

So this isn't just an issue in your one singular household or because you personally might be feeling a little stressed out. By the way, it's not just a little stressed out. We can talk about that. But it is truly something that is a systemic situation. Divorce is very common in our society. And so chances are.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

you know, one out of two people you're looking at or something close to that are going through or just gone through a divorce or about to go through one.

Absolutely, and it's, what is it, the second biggest stressor to losing a child, I think, is what I've seen in the top stressors in life.

Yes, I mean, imagine that it is, you know, I can't imagine anything worse than losing a child, but divorce comes in as number two, ahead of death of a spouse and incarceration. So it's better to be in prison than it is to get a divorce for our nervous system. I mean, that is a scale of stress on the stress level.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Yeah, and even more than a terrible illness. That's just, it's awful. I think of the impact of the stress and anxiety. And I heard recently that women in particular who go through divorce, have a 27% increased chance of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer. That those that don't.

Yes.

because of the stress and anxiety. And that's just, to me, that's awful.

And it's very true. In fact, women have a higher rate of depression, mental health issues, anxiety, all kinds of negative, both mental and physical health repercussions because of stress. I mean, what people don't realize is we say we're stressed and we think that means that in our body, perhaps we're feeling anxious. And really what it is, is it's a

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

physical reaction where our body emits phytochemicals, neurochemicals in our brain that pretty much hijack our entire system. But what they also do, things like adrenaline and cortisol, they're very bad for our hearts. They're very bad for our brains. And they really hijack our system. So when we're emitting all those chemicals, we are really...

Right.

causing ourselves not just mental issues, but we can also physically impact ourselves permanently.

Right. I think it's just terrible. I knew a woman who was extremely bitter over her divorce, and two years later, she developed ovarian cancer and died. And I've always associated that bitterness with her illness. It was just terrible. Let's talk for a minute about the emotional strain that stress and anxiety.

put on you in divorce. We talk a lot about the worst mistake you can make in divorce is to let your emotions hijack you. But stress and anxiety play right into it. What are your thoughts on that?

Yes, and that's true. And I've said that, that making hasty decisions in divorce, making decisions that are based on our emotions, you talk about stress, anxiety, anger, fear, those are the common emotions of divorce. Those are the biggest mistakes, but what are you supposed to do about that, right? You're feeling this is the number two most stressful thing that can happen to you, as we just said.

Mm-hmm.

And so part of what I think is helpful for people is the awareness of exactly what's happening for them and to them, because you're right, what you said at the top of this episode, especially as women, we are conditioned to, I always call it the buckle up buttercup, just buckle down and get through it. And in this particular instance,

Mm-hmm. All right.

I'm out.

Yep.

And truly in any highly stressful instance, we really do ourselves a disservice, our families a disservice, and as we talked about, the world a disservice. If we do not take that pause and do things for ourselves, and we call this self-care or wellness, but if we don't do things that will help us on that emotional scale get off of the hot rocks and down to a tolerable level.

Right.

Yes.

We're not doing anyone any favors.

Yeah, I always like to say, imagine yourself at your funeral and you're looking back. And what do you want your life story to look like? Do you want it to be an emotional basket case? Do you want it to be poor health? Do you want it to be isolating and, you know, negative impacts on your parenting? Or do you want it?

something different, something more positive. And that gives me the wake-up call I need to make sure I'm headed in the right direction.

And I think that I love how you put that, you know, look, look back and, and visualize what you want to see. That helps us so much, you know, to look backwards, but then we play that movie forward. And I really think that for, again, women, especially, it is somewhat foreign to prioritize our self care, our taking care of ourselves. But it is something that if we have that awareness.

Mm-hmm.

if we're made aware of just how important this is, not just for ourselves and for others, that it is something that we can keep top of mind and make those changes so that, and the whole point of this is, or one of the main points is, is if you are feeling more whole, if you have more control over that emotional state, if your hormones, the cortisol, the adrenaline, are not.

Mm-hmm.

coursing through your body and hijacking your brain, you are going to make better decisions and you are gonna move forward into a better future, as opposed to moving into a future that is predicated on decisions that were made when your brain was not functioning particularly well and when your emotions were in control. And you and I have both seen that and perhaps lived it at times ourselves to know the negative after effects.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, I hear so much about the statistics about how women suffer from low self-esteem and low confidence, and then you throw divorce on top of it. And a lot of people say, well, you just need to think positive. And what about that person who is so low that they can't kind of jump out of it or

dig their way out of it. What do we say to that person who's gotten so low?

Yes, and that is actually fairly common, I think, again, with this situation. And you do find people saying that, well, we'll just snap out of it or go get a massage. Everyone thinks a massage or a facial or getting your nails done. I mean, it's actually a little patronizing, right, that self-care. Self-care is anything.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha.

Your self care, yeah. Right.

that is going to help you cope better, that is going to help you manage. And for someone who finds themself in that dark place where they are truly overwhelmed by the negative emotions, honestly, that is where, and I see a two-pronged approach, a mental health professional, a therapist, someone who can help you dealing with unpacking that past, and a coach who...

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

on the other side can help you pack that new bag for the new future, right? So that's why I say it's sort of a dual. You unpack the past and you pack for a new future. And maybe you start with a therapist and then, you know, when you're starting to feel better, move forward into a coach or maybe it's all together. But I think that is critical. I said to clients for my 30 plus years as a divorce attorney,

Mm-hmm.

Even if you do not believe generally in therapy, or you believe that you are not someone who needs therapy, please consider situational therapy as you go through this divorce. And having a coach help you as you go forward.

Right.

Absolutely.

Now, I think too that sometimes when you're so low, that even those suggestions seem miles away. And so to have someone, whether it's a family member or a friend, to reach out that hand and say, come on, let me pull you along, let me pull you to the solution is invaluable too. Because I do think you can get...

so low that you isolate and that you're depressed and you can't move, you can't function. So I think that's where sometimes particularly those of us that have been divorced are so grateful we survived, but now is the time we can reach out our hands to someone else and say, follow us, let me pull you along, you know, and help you that way.

Yes, you have such a wonderful way with words and I love that, just the visual on that and something that I've said both as a friend, two friends going through a difficult time, but also when I've been going through something in my life is give someone permission to be real with you. If you have that best friend, if you have that sister, mother, father, family member,

Mm-hmm.

someone out there in this world or your coach, or someone that you trust, give them permission to tell you the tough stuff. Like, hey, Susan, I think you're in a dark place. Can I help you? I made an appointment for you. Or I'd like to come pick you up and take you to a therapist or a doctor or whatever that might be. Sometimes family and friends need a little bit of permission from us.

Yes.

Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

to be helpful because they don't know what to do to be helpful.

Yeah, yeah, almost like a mini intervention, I think. Yeah, yeah. And then one thing I think that we can overlook real easily is the effect of our stress, our depression, our anxiety on our children. And I know that when I divorced, I went into a deep depression.

Yeah, yeah.

And one of the things that prevented me from doing was showing up for those children. And today they've told me that they actually felt some abandonment during that time. And so I think this whole impact on parenting is huge. And we tend to be so self-focused because of the pain. The parenting impact is just huge.

Yes, and so critical because we often use the children as the reason why we will not go and get help or take care of ourselves. And you've just very clearly stated why the inverse of that is so important, because we know.

Yes. Yep, yep.

that yes, the level of conflict between parents is the number one indicator of children having a negative impact from the divorce. The number two is mental health issues on behalf of one or both parents. And of course, depression and anxiety are the big two that happen. So what I would say to anyone who's listening is, be aware, I did a wonderful episode.

Wow.

a while ago with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, the divorce doctor. She's a therapist, clinical psychologist. And one of the things she said for everyone to know is your chances, even if you've never, you have no history of depression or anxiety in your family and you or you have never personally had it, your chances of situational depression and anxiety during divorce are sky high. Know the symptoms.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

you know, not wanting to get out of bed, not having any energy, lack of interest in things that you usually enjoy. You know, there's a whole litany of things that should tip you off, but be aware of those and get ahead of them. Because what you said is really the key. If nothing else can pull you out and get you to take care of yourself, your love for your children.

means you have to love yourself because your children love you and that means you have to care for yourself so that you can care for them. Don't make them care for you.

Yes.

And sometimes I, yeah, and I think sometimes it can even be the reverse. You love them so much that you throw yourself into them and you have to manage everything on your own. So that creates its own stress, you know, so it can go two ways in that regard.

It absolutely can. And I think something that's hard for us to remember is that, you know, cause we're so stuck in the minute way of the day, you're just getting through each day, even it's minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, that we forget that those little people are watching us.

Yep. Not on the hands.

and they are learning from us and they will emulate how we deal with this extremely stressful situation in life as they grow up. And so something that we can use to maybe pull us again out of that 100% focus on them is remembering it is focused on them if you are taking care of yourself because you are teaching them to do the same.

Right.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. And I think the beauty too is think about the role modeling we're doing for the next generation. We're breaking that chain of that we're supposed to take care of everybody but ourselves and now through our actions we're breaking that chain for the next generation.

Yes, and that's so critical for all your children. I mean, whether you have boys, girls, both gender fluid children, whatever you happen to have, you are, they are watching you every minute go through this experience and they're learning from it. Chances are your children at some point in time in their lives will have a relationship end, whether it's a divorce or a breakup or whatever that might be.

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

and they are learning how to manage that, including how to take care of themselves and how to handle the stress of that breakup from you in those moments, every minute of how you go through it. And that may seem like a lot of pressure, and it is, there's some pressure there, but there is also hopefully a freedom in knowing that so that you're free to take care of yourself because you know...

you know, who is it, Michelle Dempsey Multac said to me once that when she was going through her divorce and it was really, really hard, what she would do is wake up every morning and say, today, I'm going to be the person I want my daughter to grow up to be.

Oh, I love that. Oh, that's so, yes. Oh, that is.

It's totally stuck with me. Yeah, isn't it good? So if you're having a rough day, what would you want your daughter to do if she woke up feeling like you did this morning? You'd want her to take care of herself. So show her that you're going to take care of yourself. It's such a good quote.

Absolutely.

That is so beautiful, so beautiful. I had a woman on my podcast not too long ago who was an expert in gray divorce. And she talked about the impact on adult children and how we often think so focused on the small children, but there also is a pretty big negative impact on grown children as well.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Yes, was that Carol Hughes?

Now this was Linda Hirschman.

Okay, yes, Linda, both, they both great speakers on this topic. And I agree, right? You know, your people tend to think, oh, well adult children, they have their own families, their own lives. And the reality for them is it's still their family is restructuring their core family, their family of origin and they are still watching.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

their marriage may end or their relationships, but it's their children's grandparents who maybe are splitting up. And we tend to not see the systemic change this is bringing for everyone. A lot of it is because we have also been taught quite a bit in life to, I'm fine, everything's okay. It's okay, I'm fine. Yes, exactly.

Right.

Yeah, fine.

Fine, fine, fine.

And that comes up in divorce as well. I have had people come in who I can tell are hanging on by those last little fingernails. Yet when I say, I would always ask clients when they would come in, how are you doing today? How are things going? And I will tell you, men would unload, men would go, oh, let me tell you. Women, I'm fine, it's fine, fine.

Yeah.

Yep.

Interesting. That's interesting. I would have thought it would be the reverse. Fascinating.

Oh no, men have no problem. Maybe it's because I was their divorce attorney. And so in that instance, it was like my job to listen or my job to hear it. And there's a reason as an attorney, I want to know my client's emotional state. So there's a reason I'm asking that question. And I would rather know, let me tell all your listeners if they have an attorney and their attorney ever asks them how they're doing, be honest.

Gotcha.

Tell your attorney, few reasons, one, we need to know because we need to know what you're dealing with. We may have resources for you if you're struggling with something to help you find help in whatever that might be. And it is one of those situations that it can be self care alone just to say, I'm struggling. That's self care right there by putting it out there.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Absolutely, absolutely. And then the one thing that I think about when I think about stress and anxiety and children and living out the rest of our lives are those long-term emotional scars. The fact that this isn't just something superficial. This isn't something you put a band-aid on and then it heals.

What are your thoughts about that?

Yes, and such a good point because, and the band-aid is exactly right. This is not a buckle-up buttercup situation. Once you get through it and the divorce is finalized, everything will go back to being normal. You have a new reality ahead. It can be, you and I both know, it can be wonderful. But, you know, most people, and I'm sure you've heard this, if I had a dollar for every time a client told me, I am never.

Mm-hmm.

Meh.

getting married or getting into another relationship ever again. Um, did yes reference back to our podcast episode. Yes. Right. And, and so I, and I've heard it from people so, so I may have even said it myself so many times, but human beings tend to truly crave personal connection. And

I said that a few times, Susan.

Yep.

Yes.

to have that wonderful, beautiful life, whatever that looks like post your, this current divorce situation you're in. You want to take care of yourself and move forward in a better way. Deal with cleaning up maybe your side of the street, deal with your stress and your emotions so that when you get to the end of this divorce, you're not just starting fresh in this unknown new world that you've really worked.

toward, this is a time when you can work toward that future. You are ending that relationship, absolutely. But I always tell people the decisions that you make during your divorce, lay the foundation for your new life after the divorce. And your children's, if you have children, if you are a co-parent. And so, you know, really that self-care goes very deeply to that, on two cases. One, you're gonna deal better with

your own emotional state and end up on the other side in a better place, but you will also make better, as you said earlier, make better decisions when you have your emotional control and management down. Very important.

Right.

Absolutely. This has just been amazing. One of the things I like to ask my guests is, do you have any parting tips for the people in our audience in regard to self care that you would like to share with them?

You know, so I think a few, just a couple of things, I'll do it quickly, but one, I want people to realize that when those stress hormones are running around in their body, you can feel them, right? It's the fight or flight emotion. So your heart starts to pound, the adrenaline, the cortisol gets you all amped up. But what those effectively do, which many people don't realize, is they actually shut down the part of your brain that's rational.

Right.

Hehehe

So when you are feeling that way, which is a lot of divorce, a lot of the conversations around divorce, you're talking to your attorney, your spouse, you're in court, you're in a mediation, you are not capable of thinking clearly. So one of the big self-care tips I have for people is saying, I need some time to think about it. You do not always need to make decisions in that moment.

Right.

Yes.

So take in the information and then very clearly say, I need some time to think about it. And if they push you say, I need some time to think about it. You are doing yourself a favor, but the other thing that people don't realize is you are also doing the other person a favor because the worst thing that can happen or one of the worst things that can happen in a divorce is that under pressure,

Beautiful.

or when you're not thinking clearly, you agree to something and then you wake up and change your mind. Because that will take you down a very negative road in your divorce. So you are doing you both a favor by saying, I need some time to think about it.

Right.

Absolutely.

Yeah, I had someone I was talking to that signed all the final papers from their mediation and then they went, I regret what I did. It's just terrible, terrible.

Yep. Well, and unfortunately, in a situation where trust is already a little rocky for many people going through divorce, when you say, I agree, and then you dial that back, you've just shown yourself to the other person to be untrustworthy. And you can have every good reason in the world for it. I wasn't thinking clearly. My brain was hijacked by my emotions.

Right.

Yes.

Right.

That's not going to be good enough because think about it if you were in the other person's shoes, you would see it as reneging as well. So it's very harmful to an amicable end to your divorce. So you truly, I need some time to think about it. In my mediations, we actually make that a rule. You can say yes to a proposal, no to a proposal. You can ask some more questions. You can counter propose or you can say,

Yes.

Thank you, I need some time to think about it.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Well, Susan, how can my listeners find you? You've always got such wonderful tips and wonderful insights that I know they're gonna wanna seek out more.

Well, thank you. The best place is always the podcast, Divorce and Beyond, which is at divorceandbeyondpod.com. Or they can go to my website, which is susaneguthree.com. Both of those websites have a variety of different downloadables and giveaways for people. So if they want to go check those out. But.

I always have such a wonderful time talking with you, Beverly. It's really, I appreciate your audience and what you do for them and how you support them.

Oh, the feeling is very mutual. Do you have anything else that you'd like to share that I've forgotten to ask?

Now I just really encourage everyone, but women especially, to prioritize themselves, even if it's for the very first time in their lives. This is a time of change. It's already happening. So make some positive changes and start putting yourself first. In the end, I can promise you, you and your children will be better off for it.

Yes.

Oh yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for being with me on this 100th episode. I'm just so delighted to have you here.

Well, congratulations again, and just think what you have done to help your listeners in those 100 episodes. Bravo to you.

Oh, I love it. It's a very selfish thing. When you give, you always feel better in return. All of Susan's information will be available in the show notes along with mine, and you can find them at herempowereddivorce.com on the podcast page or on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also watch the video version on our YouTube channel, Her Empowered Divorce. Thank you for being with us on this episode.

Join me for our next one where I'll be diving deeper into what other professionals can share to help you on your separation and divorce journey. Remember you can find more episodes at her empowered divorce.com. Please listen, subscribe, and leave us a review. Please share our story with your friends so we can reach out and help as many women as possible. Thank you for joining us today and stay empowered.