Can you practice medicine as a wounded healer archetype?

As children we may have had to read the room before we walked thru it because we were physically or sexually abused by family. We might have learned to know how someone feels by how they moved thru the room or even opened a door. 

We might recognize a parent or sibling on the edge of some sort of meltdown and found that if we do or say something special we could not only get “love”, but also change the potential outcome of that mood. 

We develop “extra-sensory awareness” to survive our situation which later is VERY useful when working as a healer.

We develop “extra-sensory awareness” to survive our situation which later is VERY useful when working as a healer. I often just “know” what points to use. Especially if I palpate and touch someone. I often know when someone feels worse or better than they are letting on because i can feel it in my body. I can feel the second someone shifts when the needles are in because I can feel it in my body. This doesn’t just happen for me in clinic. This happens everywhere. But I use it in clinic. Because it is a gift. If I can keep my panic monster at bay and the imposter syndrome monster quiet, treating patients just flows for me.

 But it is a double edged sword. We have to look for ways to allow those wounds, use our powers to help others heal, all while honoring our own ongoing process of not being perfect yet being perfectly lovable because of it. 

Honor your own ongoing process of not being perfect, yet being perfectly lovable because of it. 

We also need to understand that many humans who were also wounded do not become healers. They become people who wound. Because they were disempowered they crave control and power and often gain that by wounding others. As healers we need to understand that WE are uniquely gifted in helping those wounded wounders similarly heal their traumas and thereby potentially healing others instead of hurting them.

WE are uniquely gifted in helping those wounded wounders similarly heal their traumas and thereby potentially healing others instead of hurting them.

In my experience of working with other practitioners, and being a wounded healer myself i have identified :

Three ways Wounded healers go wrong in practice. 

1. Overcompensation

New practitioners are especially vulnerable to this pattern because they often have a high level of imposter syndrome which is completely normal but our reaction because of our past trauma is not commensurate with the challenge. We tend to over give and try too hard. Or we become frozen and don’t perform the things we know will bring more patients and create more success. 

•  2. Feelings of Low Self Worth
• Why would anyone come see me?
• I can’t charge that much!
• I don’t put them on a treatment plan because I want to earn their trust first.(Letting them decide you are good enough.) I didn’t ask them if they wanted to reschedule.
• I didn’t ask them for a google review even though they were SO happy about getting better.
• I didn’t ask them if they had friends who might like my services.
• I can’t start a practice, I don’t know enough.
• You tend to get Stuck in perfection. It Feels like you are failing a patient even tho they are getting better.
• AND…..  I need to learn more before I can……
• 3.Have a great desire to help but have poor boundaries.
• You give too much.
• Share too much.
• Care more than the patient does.
• Burns out early on.
• Thinks about the patient on personal time.
• Studies for hours about one case.
• Runs over appointment time to do one more thing.
• Doesn’t collect no show fees.
• Doesn’t have cancellation policy. 

If any of this resonates with you I just want you to know that the majority of healers whom I have met have this archetype. It is very common so lean into it. You can learn how to do this. 

I also want you to know that you can do both. You can help people heal while having wounds that you are still healing and some that you have healed.

You can help people heal while having wounds that you are still healing and some that you have healed.

Having this archetype, being this person means you likely are a kind, compassionate, empathetic, sensitive, person and have a special talent when you quiet your mind and all of your anxieties to know exactly what the patient needs. So, Know that this is going to be a process. Just like being in school for forever. Welcome to life school, again. I know it might be surprising and really catch you off guard, so listen in for some suggestions to becoming more resilient and developing the skills to do both at once.

Listen in for some suggestions to becoming more resilient and developing the skills to do both at once.

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[00:00:33] Um, You know, had a good year in 2019 pandemic in 2020, and then it just keeps going from there. But this year has been not in bad ways, mostly in like, oh, it's sort of writing itself, writing up, writing itself, you know? And I'm literally in the river's current. I, I have just, just totally. Thrown up my hands and just said, just, just take me and do what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be doing it.

[00:01:29] And so I've been kind of, I've sort of stepped back and taken a look at the way that I practice and have really Observe that many of my challenges with business and with treating patients are centered around trauma. And I, I have been really spending a lot of time studying trauma and my own trauma and how to help people heal from trauma and what trauma looks like as a practitioner and what trauma looks like as a business person.

[00:02:31] At least 80% of us, 75 to 80% of us are wounded healer, archetypes, meaning that we've had some sort of wounding oftentimes between the ages of zero and 17 that we have wanted to. Overcome and have sort of become this. Or we were born this perhaps with this desire to heal ourselves and thereby go on to help other people heal or to continue to heal ourselves and heal, help other people heal which is also great and fine.

[00:03:21] And so I've done a lot of deep work on this lately. And so I'm going to do a little series and really talk about this more. For those of you who seem challenged or maybe hadn't even considered that this was a possibility because I really honestly didn't consider that this was a possibility. I don't know why.

[00:04:05] Right. It drives the groove, or it drives that neuro pathway, that trauma neuro pathway, even deeper. It doesn't, I, I didn't find it helpful. But I'm finding some other ways of working through my own trauma that are very helpful. And a lot of it I'm doing, I can and am doing on my own. Some of it I need help with, but I wanted to talk about this in business.

[00:04:49] I would say the three most common challenges that wounded healers incur in practice. And then I have another episode coming up, which is the wounded healer in business. So be sure to subscribe if this is ringing some bells for you, or if this resonates with you so that you don't miss that episode.

[00:05:39] And half horse was actually the product of a rape. Which is interesting timing, right? And because he was born sort of this monster to a NPH actually who was not half course she, and she was, and, and he was born as a product of rape. She was horrified and she abandoned her baby. Now this shepherd named Apollo, found the baby and raised the baby.

[00:06:35] It was actually credited with the discovery of herbology and medicine. And he went on to train a lot of the heroes of that time. And later in life, one of his students came to visit him where he lived in a cave amongst the other centers. And somehow there was a misunderstanding and it turned into a battle and Hercules accidentally shot Chiron in the leg with.

[00:07:30] Took pity on him and exchanged him for Prometheus, who was actually dying. Prometheus is the God who gave us fire. But so he exchanged Chiron for Prometheus and then allowed him to die. That honored him by putting him in the stars. And now that constellation is known as Centara. So you have this Wounded healer archetype.

[00:08:19] Wounded healers who have developed their senses uniquely to survive. So I'm very much like this. And I know a lot of you also are, but like things like feeling a room or a person, or seeing things that other people don't or knowing what other people are truly thinking or feeling. So oftentimes as children, we may have had to read the room before we walked through it, because we were either physically or sexually abused by family, or

[00:09:09] So we sort of developed these extra sensory, this extra sensory awareness to survive our situation, which later is very, which is, which is really very useful when working as a healer, I often. Honestly, I often just know what points to use. Especially if I palpate or touch someone. And I often know when someone feels worse or better than they're letting on, .

[00:09:57] But it's actually, but it is a double edged sword. What we need to do is look for ways to allow these wounds and use our powers to help others heal all while honoring our ongoing processes of not being perfect yet being perfectly lovable because of it. I'm gonna say that again. We really need to honor our own ongoing processes of not being perfect yet being perfectly lovable, which I think so many of us don't feel you are perfectly lovable because you are not perfect.

[00:10:37] because you are not perfect. And you need to honor that. So there's this other piece that I think is really important, especially in our current world climate, we really need to understand that we all have different ways of dealing with trauma, but trauma is innate and it.

[00:11:22] They're different. They crave control and power and often gain that by wounding others. Now, as healers, we need to understand that we are uniquely gifted in helping those wounded wounds. Similarly heal their traumas and thereby potentially healing others instead of hurting them.

[00:12:14] They become people who wound because they were disempowered. They crave control and power, and that some of us do still too. Right. Don't you crave a little control. Don't you feel a little more comfortable if you think you're in control. If you think you have a little bit of power. But because they were disempowered.

[00:13:00] Please remember. So in my experience with working with other practitioners and being a wounded healer myself, I've identified three ways. Wounded heals sort of go wrong in practice. So these are just some things to think about when you begin your practice or maybe you're already in your practice.

[00:13:36] I think we all do, but this is a definite amongst wounded healers. Number three, we. Great desire to help such a huge desire to help, but we tend to have poor boundaries. So let's take a look at number one, overcompensation. So new practitioners are especially vulnerable to this pattern because they often have a high level of imposter syndrome, right?

[00:14:23] So we tend to over give and try too hard, which really can. You guys are already tired from school. It can really lead to burnout pretty quickly. Or some of us become frozen, right? Because this feels traumatic. This feels hard. This feels like way too much. And so then you don't perform the things that you know, will bring you more patience and create more success.

[00:15:09] And we freeze. So number two, our feelings of low self worth. Mm. That's me. I, I just, so you know, all, all of this is me too. Like all of it. So feelings of low self and worth like questions, like why would anyone come see me? I can't charge that much. Why could I you're kidding me? I can't charge that much. I don't want to put, I don't want, I don't put them on a treatment plan because I want to earn their trust first.

[00:15:54] Oh my God. Ask for the Google review. I didn't ask them if they had friends who might like my service. I can't start a practice. I don't know enough. You tend to get stuck in perfection. Mm that's my favorite. That's not my favorite actually, but that's my go-to perfection. Perfection freezes me. I'm the slowest human climbing the ladder of success ever.

[00:16:40] Wounded healers have challenges with, so having a great desire to help people, man, my desire, I, it wakes me up at night. Like what can I do? What can I do? but you tend to, we tend to have poor boundaries. So you tend to give too much, you tend to share too much. How about this one? You care more than the patient does ask yourself that if they're not actually doing what you're telling them to do and you keep telling them you probably care more than they do.

[00:17:27] Or I need to research this article, or I wonder what that drug is, or I wonder if I should try this, or, mm, gosh, you've got to figure out how to shut the door when you go and you leave practice studies for hours, about one case I am so guilty of this. I used to get, when I didn't really have that many patients, I would spend seven hours studying one case.

[00:18:13] These are really poor boundaries. So. If any of this resonates with you, I just want you to know that the majority of healers whom I have met actually have this archetype, it is super common. So lean into it. You can learn how to do this. You just need to learn what's in your way a little bit first, and then we can start dealing with ways with which you can move forward.

[00:19:03] Help other people heal while having wounds that you're still healing. And some that you actually have healed having this archetype, being this person means you're kind and compassionate and empathetic and sensitive. And you're a person who has special talent when you actually quiet your mind and all of your anxieties to know exactly what the patient needs.

[00:19:47] So in response to overcompensating do less, I'm not kidding. Really do less. If you do too much during your treatments anyway, you won't know what is working and. You won't know what is working when it does. It's like prescribing formulas. When we were in school, we learned all of these formulas and then we learned, and then when we were in clinic, we learned how to identify what formula to use and when, and then how to modify it for the patient in front of us.

[00:20:41] So this also bleeds into our third category of having poor boundaries, but we start with overcompensating and that leads us to over treat or go over the allotted treatment time. And then we feel depleted and it also continues to lead to poor self image. If all of our efforts don't move the needle.

[00:21:25] Not just work. So building self-worth may, may take looking at your trauma in the eye and getting help in the healing of it. And if healing into your practice and helping others resonates with you, be sure to subscribe because I'm going to go deep on topics that you will likely find helpful. But anyway, having something fun that empowers you outside of clinic will help you tap into that feeling when you're questioning your worth in your clinic.

[00:22:13] You need to have assigned HIPAA and consent to treat. You need to have cancellation policy and arriving late policies. So in other words, if they get there 20 minutes later, you're still gonna treat them. You need to have money policies. So how are they gonna pay you? They pay you each visit. What if they carry a balance?

[00:22:53] And. When are you gonna charge them? And are you gonna call to reschedule them? And how are you gonna collect? Did you already collect their credit card on their first visit? And you keep it on file or are you actually gonna confront them on their next visit when they walk in the door , or when they're checking out, I mean, how are you gonna do this?

[00:23:35] I found, this is my little tip. I found that I basically just go back and say, my apologies, you know, like you cancel, you didn't give me, or, you know, showed this appointment. And according to the policy that you signed on the first visit, I have to charge you because that's my policy. If they don't like that, if they don't wanna come see you again.

[00:24:12] For example, no talking about your partner and children. No. Talk about where you went on vacation, no. Talking about your personal health issues. How are you gonna circumvent questions about all of those topics? Because, oh dear God, people are nosy and they wanna know. Fine. Are you going to talk about your children and your spouse?

[00:24:50] It will probably feel confrontational. But it's not, if you set your boundaries and your expectations in the beginning, great patients will honor them. And you and people who continually push your boundaries can be invited to go elsewhere, because that is why we set boundaries more of the good, more of the easy flow, less of the confrontations, more of the easy patients, less of the challenging ones.

[00:25:37] I promise that there is somebody waiting for you who will become your biggest cheerleader. I swear it. I promise this. They are just waiting for you to show up as you flawed and wounded yet healthy and knowledgeable, flawed, and wounded yet healthy and knowledgeable. They're waiting for you. So be sure and get out there and do this, do not be too afraid to do it.

[00:26:19] You guys inspire me. I think we are the change that the world needs. I truly do. And I see it in you. So keep, keep at it.

[00:26:52] And again, anything I can do for you, just let me know, take care.