Shownotes
There is no question that going through persistent change in our lives is difficult to begin with in many individual’s lives. Adding a numerical +1 to the overall total of years can set some individuals over the edge, often pondering, “What have I been able to do over the past year to make change in my life, if any?” Today's episode focuses on not just the way we can reframe our perceptions of the New Year, but to also "change our tune" as we are whisked into what is ahead for moving forward. It's easy to say, "Let's set some goals!", or, "You are being too hard on yourself!", but we must find new ways to reframe the way we handle this all-important switch of the year.
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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcripts
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
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:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
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:This is Speaking From The Heart.
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:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 179 of Speaking from the Heart.
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:This is it, the last episodes of 2024
coming up, and this is the first of two
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:in which I want to break down New Years.
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:It's a time in which we are
always struggling to figure out,
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:"What is it that we want to set?
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:What is it that we want to do?", and I
think after going through:
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:of us, at least from what I've seen in
my own world, it's been a very tough
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:year for a number of people, so how can
we get over what is on our mind, and how
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:can we move forward with setting goals
and being able to do the things that
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:we need to do, so in the next episode,
we'll talk about the latter, but we're
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:going to talk about now how we can make
sure that as we wrap up this year that
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:we don't let this ruin our mood; that we
don't let this feel like it's pushing us
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:back, setting us aside, making us feel
incapable of being able to change what
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:is in our life, but let's be honest.
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:It's very easy for us to get swayed, to
be pushed into this bubble, of thinking
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:that we are not going to have yet another
year turn on us, and we have to now
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:go through, yet again, what it is that
is pushing us over the edge, making
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:us think, "What have I done this year?
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:Have I even accomplished anything?"
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:I think that we need to reframe what we're
thinking of when it is about quality,
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:and even quantity for that matter.
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:They usually go hand in hand, and
we've even talked about, in many other
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:episodes, of why it can be so difficult
to separate the two, but even if we
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:looked at quantity and quality of
what we've been able to achieve this
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:year, I don't think that's really
the measurement that we want to have.
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:What we should really be thinking about
is how we can be able to think differently
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:than where we were in the beginning of the
year, and it's funny because I had to look
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:back on a number of episodes that I've
done earlier this year that challenged not
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:only what I've been through, what I have
been working on in terms of my goals for
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:this year, but also seeing what is ahead.
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:What are some things that I was able
to do after I set that path forward,
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:and it's amazing to me what I have seen
in my own transformation, even doing
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:this show, even working with the people
that I have had been so fortunate in
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:working with this year, but even then,
the connections that I've made that
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:will only allow me to grow even further.
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:Entering year three of Your Speaking
Voice LLC, which is something that
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:we'll talk about once we hit 2025,
has been an amazing opportunity for
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:me to reflect on not just what I've
been able to do, but also how myself,
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:Josh Smith, has changed, and I think
that's really what this is about.
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:Can we see what growth is from the point
in which we stood at one measurable
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:moment, to now see where we're at
now, another measurable moment?
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:I think that those aspects, those
things that we are trying to look
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:at from the bigger context of our
personal, professional, public speaking,
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:business lives, maybe even working
on your own podcast for that matter.
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:All of those things can be measurable
results, but what really matters is
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:in your soul, in your heart, what is
it that you've been able to change?
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:What is it that you've been able to make
in terms of success, so that you are
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:able to keep on moving ahead, to keep
on seeing what it is that you've been
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:able to do to keep working on yourself?
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:I think this is a time where you
can even have other people at the
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:table in which you're talking about
this; you're discussing what it
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:is that you've been able to do.
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:It's not easy to do, though.
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:It means that you have to be accepting
of feedback from others, which is
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:something that we have covered in the
last few months on several episodes of
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:how to achieve that; how you can have
those people at the table, but even
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:if we look ahead, and we figure out
what it is that we need to set goals
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:around, or how we've been too hard on
ourselves, and we have to change our tune
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:in order for us to be able to succeed.
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:We have to find ways in
which we reframe ourselves.
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:We are able to say that this is
not going to be the year that
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:throws me off towards my goals.
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:This will not be the year in which
someone else steps in front of my
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:path, and blocks me from achieving
that all important success.
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:I think it's so easy for us to
say, "Let's write down some goals.
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:Let's do this one way or another.",
but I think we need to really look
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:at, how is it that it's being viewed?
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:What is it that we're trying to do that
allows us to not be ruined anymore by
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:anybody's perception, way of thinking,
or even ourselves for that matter,
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:because we can stand in our own ways.
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:It's very hard to be able to put to words
what this looks like from time to time,
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:and even talking about this, even for me,
can be very challenging, because, from
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:a personal context, this has been a very
challenging:
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:business end, it has been one of the most
successful years yet, and I continuously
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:am thrilled about how much growth I've
seen just from the number of people
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:I've worked with, but is this enough?
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:Is this something that we're
able to really dive into?
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:Are we really able to get to the root of
what it is that we're really working on?
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:Yet, at the same time, can we be
held back from our own attitudes,
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:our own beliefs, of what it means
to be successful, and I think the
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:answer is, yes, we can be held back.
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:It's not easy sometimes for life to go
by thinking that we haven't done enough.
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:Even myself, being the worst critic
that I am, can be very hard, be very
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:temperamental, be very judgmental
about the number of things that I
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:wish I could have done, the things in
which I could have changed, so that I
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:would have been even more successful.
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:The things that I've said to people,
the reactions that I had when I lose
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:my own self, whenever that was through
business, whether that is through
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:something that happened in a personal
relationship, or a combination thereof.
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:I know that I haven't been able to
push the envelope, and next year, I'm
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:looking forward to changing my attitude
when it comes to not only the people
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:that I have let down, but also, trying
to find ways and new paths in:
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:to grow in my own way, being able to
see that there is a bigger world out
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:there that has yet to be untapped.
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:We can live in our own bubble.
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:We can be so ashamed, be afraid of
what it looks like to step outside
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:of our comfort zone, but if we're not
able to do that, ladies and gentlemen,
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:that's why we're stuck in where we are.
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:That's why every time when we see
that ball drop at Times Square
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:in New York, that's why it's so
difficult for us to be able to say
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:to ourselves, "Great, another year,
another opportunity to screw this up."
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:Those people are not the people that
you want to surround yourself with.
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:That's not your tribe.
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:Your tribe has to be full of people that
are vested in not just you, but also the
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:exciting opportunities that are ahead, so
if there's anything that you could ever do
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:to start out with this journey in the new
year so that you feel much more confident
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:about yourself, it's about examining who's
on your Facebook list, who's following
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:you on all the social medias: Snapchat,
X, even TikTok for that matter, even
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:if it gets banned in the United States,
but even then, what is it that you're
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:surrounding yourself with so that you
are able to put your best foot forward?
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:That could be one of the very
easy steps just to get that
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:momentum started in the new year.
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:Even as I ponder this mood, this attitude
that I want to have, it isn't just about
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:the people that I surround myself with.
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:It's not just about what I could read.
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:It isn't about what I could listen to.
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:It's about the excitement, the enthusiasm
of someone actually succeeding.
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:Seeing that they are doing
something for themselves that maybe
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:they were held back for so long,
and weren't able to do before.
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:Those sort of things, those sort of
challenges, those perceptions of what
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:it is that keeps on pushing us into
the corner, making us feel inadequate,
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:not being able to keep ourselves moving
forward, might be even some of the
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:ways in which we give ourselves pity.
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:We give ourselves this space to say, "Yes!
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:We might not have all the things
in the right place, and we might be
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:starting off in the wrong foot for
the new year, but I'm going to give
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:myself a little bit of breathing room
so that I don't have to listen to
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:anything else that anybody has to say.
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:Why does it matter what I am going
through so that I am able to figure
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:out what it is that I need to do?
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:Why do I keep pushing myself,
and yet, I'm getting no results?"
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:Well, that's simple: because you're
giving yourself way too much space
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:in order for yourself to not even see
that you have these opportunities if
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:you're willing to grind and work hard.
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:Recently I've come across an article
which talked about the importance
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:of even having that interpersonal
communication, the ability for us to talk.
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:It's sad, because over the last 20, 30
years, with the advent of cell phone
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:technology, SMS, or even text messaging
as it's better well known for, and
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:even the things that we see online,
being able to not have that kind of
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:interaction with others anymore, is really
impacting a new generation coming up.
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:I'm not just talking about the Gen
Zers, but even the generations that are
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:before that that are rising to power.
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:Those are the people that are
starting to see the cracks.
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:Those are the ones that
are being disconnected.
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:They don't know how to think critically,
speak interpersonally, and be able to
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:carry a conversation, small talk for
that matter, because in this world
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:in which we're very poignant with
our text, we get right to the point.
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:We've lost the art of
actually communicating.
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:As a public speaking coach, it hurts
me so much that this work is needed
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:in this new generation, because we
haven't spent enough time thinking
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:about how we can communicate more
effectively, and of course, the pandemic,
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:a generation in which was impacted
forever and ever because of being
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:isolated, has certainly shifted the
attitudes and the framework of what it
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:means to actually interact with others.
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:It means working from home remotely,
getting on our cameras and our
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:microphones so that we could talk to
each other, but who actually does that?
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:Who actually wants to
have that conversation?
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:Who actually wants to carry
forward, because sometimes we
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:might be too hard on ourselves.
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:We might be setting goals with
the enthusiasm behind it, but if
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:there's nobody to actually talk
to about it, what's the point?
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:Why should we even care, because
it's going to ruin our mood.
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:Why is it even necessary
to talk to someone?
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:I have the answer for that.
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:You see, in the whole vision of why I
started Your Speaking Voice, it wasn't
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:just about what we say, it's about what
we do, and it's been very much a point,
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:even in this podcast, to talk about
not only the things that you can say,
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:but also the things that you can do.
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:Every single episode, one way or
another, puts that framework into action.
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:It allows us to see how we can blur
those lines of traditionalism, and come
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:up with modern, contemporary ways in
which we can challenge the status quo.
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:That's been my mission all along,
being your podcast host, being a
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:coach, a speaker, and a trainer,
helping others to see what that
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:looks like, but it's not easy.
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:It means that you actually
have to piss some people off.
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:You might get a good "fuck you"
from somebody, and they might
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:say that you're a piece of shit.
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:I get it.
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:It's not easy in this world, especially
when there's a lot of hatred towards
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:actually listening to new ideas.
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:That means change has to occur, but
when change is happening to what
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:you might think is a, quote unquote,
beneficial factor for everybody to
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:participate in, it's not so beneficial.
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:It actually makes things much worse.
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:It makes it much harder.
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:It makes it much more difficult for us
to make progress, and I understand why
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:some people are so hesitant about going
back to the office, figuring out what it
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:is to have those social cues to interact
with others, because I am more productive,
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:quote unquote, when I'm all alone.
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:But are you?
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:How do you think you got
here in the first place?
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:You actually had to talk to people,
teachers, students, and don't give
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:me that bullshit, for those that
are out there, about homeschooling.
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:I understand that there is a wide
variety of opportunities having a friend
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:myself, seeing them go on field trips
to interact with people in person, so it
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:isn't just about the virtual component.
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:You can't replace it completely.
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:As I've always said, we are,
by nature, political animals.
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:That's at least what Aristotle said, and
I got to give him some credit for this.
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:We have to interact.
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:We have to be able to build.
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:That's how we got here, so when we
start to isolate ourselves, we're
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:really going back to our roots.
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:We're saying to other people, "It doesn't
matter what you have to say to me.
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:It doesn't matter what you might feel.
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:It is irrelevant.
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:I'm working on myself, and that's
where individuality has its fallacies."
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:How does this all play into New Year's?
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:Simple.
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:If you think that it's going to be as
easy as trying to do it all by yourself,
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:good luck to you, but if you really want
to challenge yourself, if you really
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:want to grow, it isn't just about getting
somebody else, like a coach, like myself.
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:It's about getting yourself with
a team of people, those that are
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:willing to challenge the status quo
that is your life, and being able
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:to say that it is what I want to do.
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:This is what it means for me
to keep on moving forward.
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:This is how I keep pressing that
needle into the positive direction.
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:The thing is, is that you have to be
open to those possibilities, and you
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:need to wipe off that negative attitude
that you have, and perceive it from a
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:place of not only growth, but also seeing
that there's always an infinite number
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:of choices, with an infinite number of
possibilities, even when you are rejected.
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:This New Year's is really
important for a number of people.
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:It's not just about resetting
as we normally think about.
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:It's not just about goal setting, in
which we have talked about even last year
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:in which I encourage you to revisit some
of those episodes where we talk about
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:how you can even build your New Year's
plan, because they still apply to even
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:this time, and we'll even talk about more
of that in our next episode, but with a
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:little bit of a twist, but I have to say
to you, that even when you feel that your
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:mood is ruined, even when you think that
all is lost, even when you're pondering,
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:"What have I really done?", don't look
at it from a number crunching exercise.
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:Look at it in a way in which you
have all these years now behind you.
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:You have this opportunity now to pave
the path forward, to right the wrongs
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:that you have done, to be able to learn a
new skill, a new ability, some knowledge
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:that you never would have had before,
but more importantly, finding that way
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:to move forward, to reframe what we have
handled in this year, and changing it so
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:that we have a positive, more coherent
direction for the new year, is all that
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:I'm looking for you to do, because when
we're teetering on the edge of success
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:or failure, success will always win
if you have a number of people behind
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:you, wanting to grab on, pull you back
in, and help you take every single step
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:necessary to become the best version
of yourself, because even when you feel
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:that your mood is crappy, trust me.
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:There's enough to be changed in your
life, and in your future, if you're
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:willing to see what it's all about,
if you're willing to stay focused,
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:stay positive, and stop worrying about
your mood amongst everybody else's.
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:Thanks for listening to episode
number 179 of Speaking from the
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:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
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:Outro: Thanks for listening.
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:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
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:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
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:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
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:services that can help you create
the best version of yourself.
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:See you next time.
