This phrase has been the trademark statement that stops all of us in our tracks from making true progress in a variety of different areas in our lives. Whether it is for a temporary pause to regroup and overcome what is happening in a different way, or completely giving up, this thought can be our “excuse” for not completing a lot of different tasks or projects that occur. This episode explores overcoming this difficult phrase that can demoralize (and destroy) our resolve to accomplish the daily tasks and goals that we set out to achieve. Making it is easier than it appears is a sure way to overcome new, difficult matters that arise.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

131 of Speaking From The Heart, and I

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know it's a lot harder than you might

have thought to go ahead and open up the

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app or maybe even view the link to this

episode of our podcast, and even talking

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about this subject in itself is so hard.

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It's so strenuous.

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It's so tough.

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Ugh.

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I can't believe that we have to talk about

this because it's harder than I thought.

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Well, maybe we are making that as an

excuse, and maybe we're always saying

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that as our excuse when it really isn't

as hard as you might think it is, so

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today, we're going to tackle some of

the things that are really tough to

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overcome, but also at the same token,

deal with the thoughts that are associated

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with making it so tough that you can't

achieve it, and why it's holding you

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back from achieving that greatness.

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Now before you even go into thinking

about how hard it might be, that

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might be your first problem.

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The very thought of saying that you

have to deal with something that is so

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difficult and so tough, that you really

just don't want to deal with it at all.

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You have to take that pause, you

have to walk away, and say, "Okay.

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What is really causing

me to feel this way?

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What is really happening?

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What is making me give up?

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What's holding me back from always

saying that this is really tough to do?"

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Is there something that is traumatic

in nature about what we do?

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Is there something that, even if it's a

routine basis that we do, that it's not

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only hard to do, but it's also strenuous

in nature to be able to overcome.

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Whether we're demoralized or we're

destroyed by the daily tasks that we do.

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Whether it's something that we don't do

on a daily basis or even on a routine

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basis for that matter, it can be

really hard for us to overcome or even

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deal with the situation that we have.

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It's exacerbating the overall

outcome of what we might think

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is something that is easy to do,

but it's much harder in nature.

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Think of it this way.

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I've always heard of this expression that

it's a lot easier for us to talk about

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it, the idea of it, but to actually put it

into practice is a whole other situation;

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it's a whole other discussion for that

matter, and I can't tell you how many

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times that I thought something that would

be really easy, was actually really tough.

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I underestimated how much time, how

much effort, how much it really took

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to get involved with the things that I

want to do, whether that it's relating

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to a business, whether it's relating

to relationships I've had, even some

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of the things that I professionally

want to work on to become a better

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version of myself for that matter.

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I think that we underestimate

the ability for us to accomplish

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simple tasks; even certain things

that we might have as new ideas.

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Those things that are often times

strangers, things that we think

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are really hard to do, are not

very hard at all to deal with.

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We have this excuse that we always come

up with and some of my cliche phrases

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are, "I don't have enough time to do it."

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"I don't have enough wisdom to

be able to accomplish this."

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"I don't think that I have the

capability, or the skill set, to

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accomplish it.", and here's my favorite

one: "Oh, I'll get to it another day.

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There are a lot more important things to

do than just that.", and being that I'm

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autistic in nature, I always exacerbate

what that outcome is, whether that's

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putting off a conversation, whether it's

doing an important task, because I'm

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afraid of what the outcome would be.

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The overall tasks that are involved with

dealing with a situation of a magnitude

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that might be overcoming not only the

things that we feel, but the things

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that we associate with that feeling.

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Whether we are really trying to

overcome something that is really

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tough or not, really depends on

the person that is dealing with it.

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What might be really hard for somebody

might not be as hard for somebody

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else, and that's why I always say

it's about how you go about doing it.

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It's about how you address it from the

vantage point of not only looking at the

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problem as it appears, but also what it

would look like to get to the other side

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of addressing what that problem really

becomes as a solution for that matter.

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I think the best way to actually

talk about this today is to

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really use a concrete example.

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I, for one, have found that running a

business, especially after many years

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of working in the non profit sector,

let alone government experience for

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that matter, can be really challenging.

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Some of the things that I learned

over 20 years ago in high school, let

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alone even 15 years ago from college,

were all circulating back in my mind

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of, " How do I actually go about doing

it?", but even then, 15, 20 years ago

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it was a completely different world.

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Now with the advent of technology, along

with the host of different new ideas and

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approaches, it can be very overwhelming

for somebody of my stature to be able to

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work on a variety of different things.

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It means actually prioritizing learning

new skills, new abilities, being able

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to overcome some of the challenges that

we often have so that we don't get stuck

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in a rut, and I know for me and some

of my fellow business owners that are

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listening to this, I know it can be very

tough sometimes to overcome some of the

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challenges that we have, especially when

it comes to not just the things that

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we have to work on on a daily basis,

whether it's from the accounting, the

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administrative, even the overall financial

picture of our company, but it might

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even be about working with clients,

being able to take on new ones, assess

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where we're at with certain projects,

and being able to catch up, while

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working on a finite schedule of time.

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The resources that we have, the different

tasks or projects that we take on,

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especially as being business owners,

can become a little bit overwhelming to

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the point that we are looking at ways in

which we can streamline our ability to

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function with all the different things

that we need to do, while also, trying

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to minimize costs as much as possible,

especially in this climate that we

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live in with high inflation and so many

different things that are occurring in

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the world, even as of this recording.

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Even with all the things that we deal

with, all the different phases of our

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life in which we might be going through,

one of the things that really ring clear

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to me is that we have this excuse of it's

harder than I thought, so I'm going to

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go ahead and push it off, but what if

we say that to every single thing that

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we do, and we never get anything done?

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In other words, if we keep on saying

that we need to hire someone, but

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yet we still continue to find ways

to try to do it ourselves, is that

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really helping us to achieve what we

ultimately want to do, not just in

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our business, but maybe even in the

personal and professional relationships

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that we're trying to develop?

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I think that we have to look at this

from a concept of time management, but

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that's not the only way to look at it.

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We have to look at what are the costs,

the opportunity costs if you will, by

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missing out on important life events?

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Maybe even having that date night

with her wife or husband; having that

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relationship with somebody that we

deeply care about as a friend; or even

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being there for family when it counts

the most, those are the moments that

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sometimes even the precious things that

occur in our lives, are being missed

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out on, because we didn't manage our

expectations of the thoughts, feelings,

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and emotions that we should have managed

more accurately and more from a standpoint

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of being able to see the bigger picture.

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That's why we keep on saying,

it's harder than we thought.

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If we're ever going to make true

progress in life, we have to also

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dispel the fact that everything is hard.

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Everything can be difficult, if we

are choosing that mindset in the

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first place, and I'm not saying

that everything is easy to do.

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No, no, no; I can't say that at all,

because if that was the case, then I

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would be able to do all my legal work.

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I'll be able to do all my accounting work.

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I could do all my compliance with

taxes and all the other corporate

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entities that I need to deal with.

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I would have an easy time marketing

my brand, working with clients, being

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the best version of myself, have the

best relationship with my friends,

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family, and even a significant other

if that ever comes to my future,

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along with a host of other things.

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As I've been on one podcast and I put

it, it's really what you look at to the

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right of things or to the left of things,

and I love that expression, especially

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from that podcast host, because it's

really about the difference between

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whether we want to look to the right,

we want to look to the left, we want to

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look up, or we want to look down to face

the opportunities, or the costs that

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are involved with those opportunities,

in order to become not just the best

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versions of ourselves, but to work through

those difficult thoughts that we have.

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Now the other side of this is really

thinking about the fact that we have a

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hard time; sometimes, and that's not just

because of the things that we deal with.

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It might be because of the

environment that we live in.

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It might have been not a very good day.

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We rolled out of the

wrong side of the bed.

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We didn't get that bagel made correctly

at the local coffee shop, to be able

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to heat up, be able to eat, to be

able to consume, because we've been

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thrown into many meetings, and then we

discover that there was the error that

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we should have caught before we ever

left the coffee shop, and I get it.

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Those things do happen, but it

also means that we have to regroup.

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We have to overcome why, oh why, every

time that we wake up, we always feel like

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we're in a bad mood, because if you are

waking up in a bad mood, there's something

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bigger that might be going on, and I'm

not saying today that you have to examine

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every single little nuance that occurs.

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It means actually keeping a journal, if

you will, of all the things that might

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be bothering you in a given day, and

you have to keep it for a little bit.

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Whether it's a 7 day journal or a 14

day journal, whatever it is, you can

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keep track of it to see if there's a

consistent pattern, and if you realize

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that you're having that same negative

thought, well, then there's a problem.

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It isn't about just tracking

what you're feeling though.

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What's on your mind that day?

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Is it the same thing over and over

again that you're worried about?

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Is there something else that's happening

with maybe conflict, maybe dealing

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with a difficult person at work, maybe

even in a relationship that you have?

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When you continue to say that it's

a problem, and you're not addressing

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it, it is going to be harder

than you thought to overcome it.

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It also means you have to

handle it in a different way.

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It doesn't mean all the time, though, that

you handle it in the same exact pattern

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that you've always handled it, because

as I've mentioned in previous episodes,

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that's the definition of insanity.

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I also don't want you to give up at the

same token, because giving up is accepting

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that you are that negative thought and

that is much harder than you might have

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ever imagined, so as I can always say

in any episode, I could easily argue,

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go hire a coach and end it here today.

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That's it.

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That's your magic formula.

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Find somebody, even a fractional coach,

which we just talked about in a recent

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episode, could help you with overcoming

some of those roadblocks that you might

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face when it comes to difficult thoughts,

but even if you have the money to be

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able to do that, and you even have

the willpower to keep pushing forward.

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Is that really the solution

that you should be seeking?

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I always go back to the fact that if there

wasn't purpose in my life, I would have

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never been able to get over the suicidal

thoughts that I had in my life, which we

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talked about this way back in an early

episode entitled The Lighthouse, which I

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talked about, the watercolor drawing that

I did while I was in inpatient care at a

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mental institution located in Maryland.

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Those 72 hours signified to me that

my thoughts were toxic, and I never

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took the time or the appreciation

to understand why those thoughts

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were happening in the first place.

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What turned out to be a three day

ordeal essentially of understanding why

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I went into that pattern of thought,

led into a discovery phase that has

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lasted for over four years, and the

clock is still counting, on how much

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I've been continuing to work on that

idea of why it's so hard to have those

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challenging thoughts to overcome.

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We can have all these different excuses

of all the different things that we

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have to do when it comes to projects,

chores, tasks on our list, maybe even

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overcoming the defeating thoughts that

are associated with it, but if we're going

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to be completely giving up on ourselves,

to not even attempt to challenge the

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status quo, it doesn't matter if you hire

any sort of coach, you hire any sort of

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entity that will help you to organize your

materials so that you feel a lot better.

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It doesn't matter what you try, because

you will always go back to the same two

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out of 10 ways that you've always been in.

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It means you have to radically

shift yourself so that you don't

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ever fall into that pit ever again,

which we've talked about the pit.

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Portia Nelson's poem about five chapters

of how you fall into that hole and

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getting back up is sometimes what some

people live in, and I will be one of

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those people that will continue to fall

into chapter three: climbing back up,

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knowing that hole exists, but yet wanting

to be in it, but quickly getting myself

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back out of it, realizing that was a

terrible mistake in the first place.

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Human evolution, and even human

thought for that matter, will always

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lead us down a path of feeling so bad

about ourselves, that we will want

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to defeat ourselves at the same time.

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That is, by its very definition, the evil

that exists in this world, but there's

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no excuse to continue feeling like

you can't make progress, even handling

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those difficult thoughts that you have.

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I encourage you, keep track of

what you have going on in your

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life, and trust me on this.

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Maybe you can overcome what has

been defeating you all along.

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Maybe you will start to realize something

that you never realized before about

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your thought patterns, because changing

mindset is just one aspect of this.

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It's about being conscious of what

is around you, even when you think in

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your subconscious it exists, you're

not speaking it into existence.

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That is what I want you to do today..

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It is not harder than you thought.

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You're just setting up roadblocks, and

maybe even other people are setting up

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roadblocks for you to be able to achieve

that ultimate version of who you are,

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so don't let them get the best of you,

not even yourself for that matter.

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It's time to overcome.

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It's time to handle new, difficult

matters with a clarity that you've

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never seen before in your life.

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It doesn't mean putting off what

is happening in the present.

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It means taking on what's happening in

the present in a whole new different

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way, by simply acknowledging that

there is a problem, and hey, if there

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is no problem, maybe you can have that

successful business, maybe have that

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successful relationship, and oh yeah,

maybe even work on yourself to become

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so much better in the grand scheme of

things to help everyone else, because

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that trademark statement of, "It is harder

than I thought.", needs to stop, because

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I want you to be able to say, "This is

easier than I thought, and I'm glad that

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I changed my mind about taking this on."

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 131 of Speaking From The

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.