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12 - Series Finale: The Potato Incident
Episode 121st May 2025 • Unfuck Your Life: An Audio Drama • StereoForest
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Tog shares what happened during the potato incident at Apocalypse.Cloud that shook up Grackleton... East AND West. But mostly East.

And stick around to the end of the show to hear about what's next for Tog and Grackleton here on 101.7 FM The Grack (and StereoForest).

Tog's new Grackleton-based show will also be added to this feed!

Featuring:

  • Adam: Parker Spoon.
  • Jen deHaan: Tog Chesterfield, and additional voices.

Credits, contact, and more info

This comedy audio drama / audio fiction series was created, written, improvised, edited, and produced by Jen deHaan. All dialog in the episodes is fully improvised.

Voices: Jen deHaan (any voices by guests are noted above)

Artwork, logo, and graphics: Jen deHaan.

Transcript: For each episode on their page on this show's page at StereoForest here.

More show info/contact: stereoforest.com/uyl

Support the show (one time tip): stereoforest.com/tip

Review this show: On Podchaser here www.podchaser.com/unfuck

Chat in Discord about this show: discord.gg/qBQCJP8Swf

Comedy and audio fiction newsletter: StereoForest.com/subscribe

Follow on social media: YouTube, Bluesky, TikTok

This podcast is a StereoForest production. Made and produced in British Columbia, Canada.

Mentioned in this episode:

Toque and Trowel! Coming soon from StereoForest.

Ready to dig in? To find nourishment and strength right in your own kitchen and garden? Stereoforest.com presents Toque and Trowel, hosted by Jen deHaan in Canada. This is your weekly podcast for practical gardening tips for easy to grow food that works. Learn how to whip up affordable, low-effort plant-based meals that are healthy and taste amazing. And discover ways to tend to your mental well-being in today's world. Find resilience in the connection between Kitchen, Garden, Mind. Join Jen deHaan for Toque and Trowel. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts, or visit StereoForest.com to learn more.

Transcripts

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[Music]

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This week on the show, Tog shares what happened during the potato incident at

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apocalypse.cloud, that one that shook up Gragelton

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east and west, but mostly east. And stick around to the end to hear what's next

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for Tog and Gragelton here on StereoQuest.

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[Music]

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You're on 101.7 FM the Grac in the final radio show for Unfuck Your Life with Me,

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Tog Chesterfield. I've told you about all the ways I tried to pick up those pieces

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and fix my life after hitting rock bottom after I lost my job.

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Unfuck Your Life with Tog Chesterfield.

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Welcome to the show. Right now it's uh 5.06 pm. I'll be with you here for your

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commute tonight or while you prepare your dinner, and delicious I'm sure, or while you try to

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remember how friendship bracelets were made. The wide ones that were more than a simple

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braid, you know, the ones with the knots in a pattern. I'm your uninvited guest for the evening,

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or invited if you chose to tune in to our last show to hear about the potato incident.

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I took you along this ride as I tried making a sourdough starter business,

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and then a vegan jerky one. I dabbled in instant coffee and then being a human version of a dog

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clown. I even did stand-up comedy, and I sure had a lot of roommates until Parker Spoon arrived.

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But finally I started the Gragleton Gazette, and really connecting with the people who live in

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this town, and finally figuring out what I wanted out of life. I think maybe, for now anyway, listener,

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I've unfucked my life. And I told you about most of the things that got me here, but I left out

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one part of that story. Right back in the first show I heard of Unfuck Your Life here on 101.7

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FM, the Grag. I still need to tell you about the potato incident. What triggered all of this to

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happen to me? What caused that descent to rock bottom in the first place?

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Oh, hi.

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Come here, honey, come here.

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Hey, Linda's bigot. Linda's bigot.

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I was hoping I'd catch you at the market today.

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Good to see you.

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I have a peri-bolka potato, one that looks just like Richard Grico, the guy from 21 Jump Street.

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Oh, wow. Well, I guess so. It does look like it's brooding, doesn't it?

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Yeah, I mean, look, this skin. Right there, it looks like a leather jacket, too.

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Oh, wow. And the sprouts there. I see it. I really, I see that, Linda.

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You're a fan of those old TV show stock and you're always doing that mashed potato gravy stuff.

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Oh.

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But off is yours. So I thought you'd take it. Take it. Here, take it.

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Oh, thank you. Thank you, Linda.

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So later that week, I post a potato on all of our social media accounts with a caption in the form of a haiku.

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The tuber appears, giving me 90s heartthrob. Grico or spud.

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Oh, wait. At first we need to do a quick break. This is Unfuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield.

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We'll be back before you know it with more potatoes.

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Unfuck Your Life with Todd Chesterfield.

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Back to the show. So the haiku post about Richard Grico was a success, especially on LinkedIn,

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which was weird, but social media is what it is, I guess. More potatoes started to appear,

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and every potato variety that landed on my desk or in my mailbox at home captured a different era.

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I got Yukon Gold potatoes looking like Booker era, Grico. I got a whole bunch of those submitted.

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I got an Alliston potato with his If Looks Could Kill expression.

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I got some red Norland potatoes resembling his modeling days.

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I posted all of them with new haikus like this one.

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Yukon Gold spuds here looking like Booker's Grico. Star and soil merge.

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I added the hashtag #gricotubers, and that's when my posts really started trending in Gragleton.

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And I started getting so many potatoes sent to the office from excited locals. It was getting hard

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to keep up with them. Listen, Ronald, I have a preservation protocol, so please don't touch

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these potatoes right here on the right side of the fridge. But this is the only fridge,

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at work, for our lunches' talk. Well, human oils like the ones from your hands, Ronald,

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compromise a potato's integrity, and I need them climate-controlled so they don't sprout or rot

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or get ruined, especially these Allistons. I'm not sure that that's science talk. I mean,

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listen, there isn't any space left on any side of the fridge interior. But I need to photograph

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them again, looking the same at a new angle for the campaign, like the original shot, but with

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different lighting. Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna try to see if it'll fit in here in the door.

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This is an Apocalypse.Cloud emergency broadcast. I'm not even sure if this thing is working out

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there. If you can hear me, we've never had to use this thing before. Please refrain from storing

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nonessential root vegetables in company fridges. This is being an Apocalypse.Cloud broadcast.

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And I started carefully photographing and cataloging every Grico potato I received.

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I tracked the facial features by potato variety, and I cross-referenced each Grico era in my spreadsheet.

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And then the rumors and stories started to spread in Gragleton as I kept putting more posts online.

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There was a rumor that Grico once filmed a motorcycle commercial in Outer Grac.

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And Joe Roost, my former roommate, said that their aunt dated Grico when he passed through town in 1991.

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And pastel pumpernickel named a sourdough starter if looks could leaven and scored the top of a loaf

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to look just like his face. That wasn't a rumor, pastel posted it online. It was very popular.

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But the things that were rumors, I just leaned into those, true or not. And I kept

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GricoTubers trending locally for weeks. Things suddenly changed, both for me and for Apocalypse.Cloud.

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I thought the work really mattered to me and to the company too. I thought it was

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everything young tog, the one from the box that I told you about last time.

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I thought it was everything young tog was looking for. I was productive and the people were happy

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with the work and I thought that Gragleton loved it. I didn't realize it, but I started

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measuring my worth by those engagement numbers and all the metrics. Not whether I was having fun or

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growing or that any of this mattered. And listener, you know how I have sense learned that it's not

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great to define our self-worth through external validation like that. But that's what I was

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doing back then. And then the Grico potato promotion, well, it started to take a dip.

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People got bored with my Gricos, so I needed a new hit.

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I found this potato tog in our last shipment of potatoes. It looks like Bon Jovi from the

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official music video for the Power Ballad, Wanted Dead or Alive. Oh, Dan, wasn't that video in

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monochrome though? This looks like a ruby, pulsiverse, blue-nosier potato. That is correct.

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The potato has some scarring on the skin here that looks like a bandana, like the one Bon Jovi

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tended to wear, I presume, primarily for theatrical purposes, including in the music video for the

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Power Ballad, Wanted Dead or Alive. Here, you can take it for your work thing that you do with

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potatoes if you want. You're just putting it in my pocket. Okay, thanks, Dan. Maybe I can make a new

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campaign with this. I got Marianne Foot to make a potato-sized Bon Jovi wig, the one that she

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talked about when I interviewed her for the Grakelton Gazette. She actually wrote a tutorial

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about that wig and got really well known in the extra extra small wig niche, which is most popular

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amongst cat enthusiasts. But unlike the Grico potatoes that people just started sending me from

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all over Grakelton, instead, this time, I started looking for potatoes that resembled Bon Jovi myself.

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I got a professional lighting rig set up at the office that made the potatoes look even more

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Bon Jovi-esque. Finally, I posted two images side by side and I wrote,

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"Greekos quiet cool. Bon Jovi's stadium roar. Both icons endure."

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No one liked it. It was a complete failure.

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I was looking for validation, trying to keep the attention pouring in, but it was certainly

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not authentic. I didn't even know what glam metal was. I'm more of a bubblegum funk fan.

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Instead of discovery, instead of engaging Grakelton, I was trying to manufacture it using

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whatever I could find. I was trying to force fun. And you don't force fun in comedy. I learned that

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both in dog clown school and stand-up classes. And it doesn't work well in social media either.

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But listener things, well, they got worse. Since West Grake was known for their affection of 21

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Jump Street, East Grake thought that apocalypse dog cloud, or me, dog, was making fun of them with an

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early glam metal band, more akin to pop, and often referred to in a derogatory sense as a hair band.

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Oh, I just heard that. Hair band.

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Hi, Carol Dirtnatt from Lower East Grake just saw Tog's ridiculous Bon Jovi potato campaign on

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LinkedIn. And I just had to call your support line immediately as a proud Razor fan, because I live

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south of 53rd, of course. Razor. Razor. I'm personally offended. Like, that Tog would associate, I guess,

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like any part of Grakeleton with hair metal when everyone knows we stand for proper thrash here.

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I mean, you gave, like, West Grake a Greco campaign, and then you gave us East Grake

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fucking Bon Jovi for fuck's sake. Swish to Razor Theme Potatoes Apocalypse Dog Cloud. Bye.

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Um, Tog. Tog. This is, um, Carl Ballet from Northeast Grake. I think, I think we met once,

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near the cheese section of bulk bins, or whatever.

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Um, your Bon Jovi thing, dude, that's pretty lame, Tog. I mean, as a rush man, because I'm north of 3rd

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and Dennis Street, of course, I mean. I, dude, I, I can't believe you'd promote a guy,

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or I guess, potato or whatever, in this case. Like, who only knows 3 chords?

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I, dude, I'm gonna boycott your LinkedIn page. Page. It's whatever it is on LinkedIn,

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unless you pivot to rush. I boycott your product to the Apocalypse Dog Cloud, but I

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honestly, I have no fucking idea what you sell or do.

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Tog. It's Rick Bannister. I, um, just wanted to leave you a, um, a voice message because I'm

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about to send you an email, and I want you to know, I want you to know, so this is, uh, what I'm gonna do.

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I'm gonna walk over to my computer, and I'm gonna open up, uh, Netscape Navigator, and I'm gonna, um,

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compose a, uh, uh, voice, uh, note message email, and I'm gonna send it, let me see,

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what's the time, let me look. You've got mail. Tog. Tog, it's Rick Bannister from Central East

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Grac here. Uh, I just moved east of Larch Street, so annihilator fan now instead of rush.

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Tog, I'm emailing you this voice note. Actually, Tog, I hope that you got my voice message with

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that time estimate of when, when, when, when, when you'd, when I'd send this email before you got it.

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Um, I know how you hate to be surprised by emails coming in, so I need that, I did that forewarning

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for you, Tog. I hope you appreciate it. Anyway, I guess this Tog is what you would call a tangent.

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That's so back to what I'm emailing you this voice note for. I wanted to bring your attention,

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Tog, Tog, that I unfollowed Apocalypse Clouds LinkedIn. That is it, a profile? Or is it more like

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a page? I'm not really sure what it is on LinkedIn. That platform's very confusing these days.

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Anyway, Tog, I unfollowed Apocalypse.Clouds whatever it is after seeing those wigged potatoes

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that look like Bon Jovi from the Silipri Wow-Wet era. Well, I guess it's, I guess it's most reminiscent

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of Bon Jovi from the Wanted Dead or Alive music video specifically. It's actually a pretty

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striking, really striking, striking resemblance Tog. Probably because that video was done in

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Monochrome. But because we only respect Annihilator east of Large Street, things not ration anymore.

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Let's do that. And things like your little living on a potato campaign is making us all look bad

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in Gragleton. Hair metal, Tog, hair metal. Seriously, Tog. How long have you lived here?

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You should know better. I really wish I knew to make that file system I talked about in the last

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show that classified if something was helpful or irrelevant or subjective feedback and,

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oh well, I guess a category for attacks or hair metal attacks I suppose. I don't even like metal.

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I kept doing the potato campaign thinking I could nail it, thinking that they were wrong.

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Everyone felt that I was just trying too hard. Their negative reaction was actually a

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much more successful campaign than mine. They trended #thrashtalkspotatoeswalk.

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I lost a lot of confidence, listener. I went on the defensive in a podcast called the potato pitch,

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colon, tubers and advertising, and blamed the whole town.

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So Tog, why do you think this potato incident happened?

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Well, Jen, it seems to be that people in both West and East Gragleton have really bad taste in music

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and comedy and creativity for that matter. If I wasn't dealing with a town who could you know

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get it and appreciate art, then I probably wouldn't be here with you today. I'd be busy

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ordering more potato wigs. Wow, potato wigs. Well, you heard it here first folks. Next week on the

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show we'll get a visit from Maureen Fossick-Cluder who discovered Finch lovers east of 33rd Street

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really respond to three cheese grotton.

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The town had a few things to say about that and that's when I realized I wasn't as good with

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people as I thought. I wasn't as good at my job as I thought either and certainly not adequate at

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reading the room and I started drinking a lot and feeling like I needed to every day earlier and

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earlier in the day. I started showing up late for work and then I started to leave early too.

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Finally I was put on performance review and ultimately let go after the acquisition by

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Hack to the Future and back then that work was me, my identity. So that incident, the potato incident,

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it was me. After I was laid off they took over all the social accounts and deleted all of my potato

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content and not only that listener, you probably remember all those terrible free stock image

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AI slop templates Hack to the Future started using with those fonts. I mean,

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copy using knockoff, trashin and chalkboard and the URL written in Bradley hand.

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Oh my god, my identity, everything I did at work was erased. I mean, any other time would have been

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a lot funnier considering we were all working at a cloud backup company and never made any

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backups of our marketing at all. So yeah, it was all completely gone for good.

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So that's how I ended up out of work and on the couch, the one that smelled like Kevin the Cat's pee.

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Oh, it's time for the weather.

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Tonight's weather for your Drive at Five with I'm Fuck Your Life is brought to you by Amy Dan's

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rambutan. Just in case you don't know, the rambutan is an edible fruit closely related to several

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other tropical fruits like the, oh, I hope we get this right, the leechi, the longan, the pool

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of sawn and the quenepa with a flavor reminiscent of grapes. Oh, I wonder if all of them are like

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grapes. Oh, tonight, Gragleton is expecting a strong sea breeze that will make the temperature drop

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approximately 11 degrees Celsius, but we're nowhere near the sea.

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And that's it for the weather on your Drive at Five brought to you by Amy Dan's rambutan.

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We anticipate having rambutan fruits in stock this week. Oh, just in case you don't know,

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the rambutan is an edible fruit closely related to several other tropical fruits like the,

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the leechi, longan, pool of sawn and quenepa with a flavor reminiscent of grapes.

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Just the same thing all over again. Oh.

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[Music]

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Unfuck your life with Todd Chesterfield.

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Oh, well, speaking of rambutans, that's why lately, at least, I didn't want anyone touching the potatoes.

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They let me take the potatoes home when I was laid off. I took the greekos. They were the,

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the ones from the successful campaign. My identity and my self-worth were tied to my work,

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to my potato campaigns. And those greeko potatoes are the only thing I had left after all the photos

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were deleted. So the further that I went on through this process of getting off of rock bottom and I

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was failing in all those businesses, the more I failed, the more I wanted to preserve those greekos

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and keep them safe. Letting my roommates touch the potatoes felt like risking the only thing that

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had kind of worked in my life lately, that successful campaign at the beginning, when I was

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useful and seen. But since then, I've learned, I've learned that I have to accept failure.

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It happens with life and it doesn't make us who we are. Failure was the potato incident and I

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failed at many of my business attempts, the ones that you learned about on this show. And as much

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as I tried to accept those business attempts, that they were failures, I still failed to accept

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the potato incident failure. Well, until now listener, because accepting failures and finally

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the potato incident one has meant that I can learn, I can assess who Tog is, and I finally don't

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ruminate as much or well less and less every day. And letting go of the failures has finally helped me

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be creative again. I'm way less defensive too, so I can actually connect with people for real.

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And I can unfuck my life. Oh, hey, Parker. Hey, I'm so sorry to bother. Oh, don't worry about it.

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Don't worry about it. Grappleton loves hearing all sorts of things.

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No, this is a little bit of an emergency. Oh, yeah, I was, I was vacuuming. I was trying to do

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something nice. So, thank you. Thank you. I haven't vacuumed in ages. I moved the couch in the living

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room. And when I moved it, I, it was all, there were no, there were rotting potatoes. So many under

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the couch under the, what? I mean, I know I got potatoes everywhere. I had no idea there's a

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bunch of potatoes under there. Tog, I don't think you're understanding. They, they were growing

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shoots and the shoots went up into the couch, past the springs. They pierced the fabric

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and went into the cushions. And right now, your couch is a network of sprouts and roots.

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Oh my goodness gracious. Oh, that sounds, that sounds awful. And that's what, that's what the

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smell came from, was from that? I never want to smell that again. Can I borrow some of the

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vapor rub, vapor rub? Yeah, I got here, you know. Yeah, I just need to put, give me that. I guess,

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oh, oh, yeah, that's a lot of, that's a lot of vapor rub. So, I guess it wasn't Kevin's pee after

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all. That was what, that's what we're on the couch. My goodness gracious. Oh, poor Kevin.

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Got blamed all this time. I have the scent and it's, imagine if there was a hole in the bridge

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of your nose, like a cave in the bridge of your nose that can capture smells. Yeah. I feel like

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the smell is back there right now. And as hard as I'm trying, Tog, I, it's not leaving. But that's,

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that's okay. We've cleared Kevin's good name today. Clearly, we've cleared Kevin's name,

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but we've filled your head with noxious odors. I'm, I'm sorry Parker. No, no, no, I'm happy to be of

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service. Oh, well, that's what I can actually, on that note, Parker, I, I have a question for you.

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And I guess this now is a good time to potentially ask Parker, I actually am going to be doing a new

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show here on the GRAC and it's, it's called GRAC public access is a public access community show.

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And Parker, yeah, congratulations. This is amazing. Oh, I'm so excited as well.

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Because we're going to get to talk about the community and by we, I mean, I was wondering,

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Parker, if you would like to join me on GRAC public access.

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As a guest, I wouldn't even know what to, what I bring. No, Parker, you would co-host with me.

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It'd be, you're in my show. Oh, my gosh. Oh, I love Gragleton. Yeah, you know,

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Gragleton and you love it as much as I do. I have maps. Have I ever shown you the maps? I have a

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whole binder of maps. You have a binder of maps of Gragleton? Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. You know how the

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old fashioned maps used to show like sea monsters and like harpies breathing on the maps? I love that.

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And the decorative like North, Southeast, West thing in the corner and everything. Yeah. Yeah,

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I did that about every square kilometer in Gragleton. Oh, you're kidding. Wow. Do you even have one of

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Outer Grag? I have one of Outer Grag. Yeah. Yeah. And except in this one, and I don't, you know,

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judge me for this. I won't. It's kind of lame as my brother used to say. I made it like outer space.

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Oh, my goodness. That's what I would do because like Outer Grag is like outer space. I love that.

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I love that. And the North, Southeast, West sign is a satellite that's floating there.

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That sounds so awesome. That's a really cool. Oh, my God, we're going to do a show. We're going to do

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a show about Gragleton. We're going to do a show. Yeah. I am, I, it's not, they're not going to see

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my face, right? No, no, it's radio. No one sees our faces. I don't like my face. I hate my face.

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Yeah, no. You have a nice face by the way. Oh, you have a, you have a great face. I was really

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excited when you walked in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did, I did, you have a kind face. You have the

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really nice like affable face. Affable. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's okay. Yeah, that's like the first

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thing. And I love affable. Affable is great. I'll take affable. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I want to be a

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solid four in this life. Yeah. I'm not talking looks. I'm just, if I could be a solid four on

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the scale of life, I think I'm, I think I'd be happy. Oh my God, we're doing a radio show. We're

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doing, we're doing a radio show. I'm so excited. I'm going to buy new dockers. Well, nobody will

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see the dockers. No one will see them like they won't see our face. I'll know, I'll know I'm wearing

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them and I'm going to feel fancy. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Sometimes I put on a bow tie. So,

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oh my goodness. Yeah. Oh, that's, that's amazing. Oh my God. Okay. That's, I'm so sorry. Scott, Scott,

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Scott, Scott, Scott got one of the potatoes. Oh, Scott has a potato. Oh, wow. That's a big one. Oh,

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oh my goodness. That, that potato looks like Rick Astley. And it's rolling. It's rolling away from

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Scott. It is rolling away from Scott. Oh, that's Scott's getting it. No, no, I think it's the last

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of the potatoes. I'm going to go, I'm going to go grab it. No, no, Parker, it's fine. It's fine. Scott can have it.

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So that's it for Unfuck Your Life Here on 101.7 FM The Grack. Stay tuned for Grack Public Access

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with me, Tog Jesterfield and Parker Spoon here in two weeks. Listener, I hope you liked hearing

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about how I unfucked my life. This life, this is the only time we can't listener. I'm still here.

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And so are you. Go use that time beautifully. This is Tog Jesterfield. Bye for now.

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You have been listening to Unfuck Your Life with Tog Jesterfield, a Stereoforest production.

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This episode was written, directed, edited and produced by Jen DeHaan. This episode features

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the voices of Adam and Jen DeHaan. You can find all of our shows, show notes, transcripts,

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and sign up to get notified about new episodes, including our new show, Grack Public Access,

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at Stereoforest.com.

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