Today's episode is all about trusting yourself and making decisions that align with your values and desires (and trusting others to do the same for themselves). Join me as we explore the importance of embracing our unique perspectives and taking charge of our lives, even when faced with uncertainty and differences of opinion.
We can find common ground and try to understand other perspectives even if we have different opinions. From topics in parenting to other areas of life, we live in a world where conversations about things we disagree on, or don't understand, have become increasingly difficult. However, I believe it's crucial to break free from this limitation and open ourselves up to new ideas and perspectives.
With all of these differing opinions floating around, readily available for us, how can we make decisions that work for us and our families? We're covering decision-making that relies on the information we've been provided AND the experiences we've had. You can tap into your intuition and trust your inner voice. By doing so, you'll gain the confidence to make choices that align with your values and aspirations to create a life that truly resonates with you.
What you'll hear in this episode:
[1:45] Think of a staircase as a staircase where we can all agree on the first five steps.
[3:25] We’ve lost the ability to have conversations about things that we don’t understand.
[4:45] Making decisions based off of the information you’ve been provided.
[6:40] Why it’s important to trust yourself.
[8:05] How do you know what’s right for you?
[9:25] What do you believe? What do you think about this?
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Kelsey Smith 0:00
They have a different perspective, a different life, a different reason for choosing their way of parenting. And I have a different way for mine. And it doesn't mean that I'm right over them. I've been given information and experiences and resources to make me believe one thing. And it doesn't mean that the other way is wrong. We are both just making decisions based off of the information we've been provided and what they believe is correct for us.
Kelsey Smith 0:38
Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys, why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.
Kelsey Smith 1:29
Quickly, it's in any situation, something has happened that I disagree with, whether it's morally as a parent, just my personality. And it's been interesting when I've responded to that situation, how I've seen others respond. And I think there are some things in life I was explained this as a staircase, where we can typically all agree on the first five steps. If you think of a staircase, you're going up the stairs, there's five steps, and you and just about anyone should be able to take those first five steps together. Now the staircase splits in different areas, it goes off to the right, and it goes off to the left. And as you continue up this staircase, some people are going to split to the right, some people are going to slip to the left, some people are going to keep going straight. And at some points, you may no longer be on the same staircase as others. But we all started in the same staircase. And we all started with those first five or so steps. And I think it's really important to think about, you should be able to take five steps with almost anyone. And as you go to your other direction, or as that other person goes to their other direction on the staircase, you should be able to have a conversation about it. In this is my opinion, but you should be able to say Hey, I see you're going straight on the staircase, I'm actually going to take a right here. This is why I'm going this way. This is why I think it's the best place for me to go. And why I believe that right is where I'm meant to go. And I totally understand that you're going straight. And that's great, too. I would love to learn more about it, and why you're going straight and you don't want to come right? Or you know what, that's okay, I'm actually just going to trust that it's best for you. I think we've lost the ability to have conversations about things that we maybe don't understand. And you should be able to have a conversation with someone and have an opinion about something without projecting your beliefs onto others. And this is tricky for all of us. I don't expect any of us to be able to do this perfectly all the time. I don't expect any of us to not have situations where we can't see the other perspective in the moment. But there are so many situations where there isn't a right answer. There isn't one staircase. So you should be understanding when someone else's staircase goes a different direction than yours. And you can still stay firm in your beliefs. And I want to invite you in some ways to do that more. In past episodes, we've talked a lot about boundaries, and standing up for yourself. And in some of these scenarios I had recently, I realized that just because someone didn't understand maybe a way I was going to parent or a belief that I had, it didn't mean that I was wrong. And it actually didn't mean that they were wrong either. They can show up to parent in a certain way. They have a different perspective, a different life, a different reason for choosing their way of parenting, and I have a different way for mine. And it doesn't mean that I'm right over them. I've been given information and experiences and resources to make me believe one thing and it doesn't mean that the other way is wrong. We are I'm just making decisions based off of the information we've been provided and what we believe is correct for us and our families. And I think that really is what shows up for everyone. If you believe to take on entrepreneurship, people are gonna think you're crazy, people are not going to understand why you would maybe make that decision. But you're making a decision based off of the information you've been provided. And some of that information is not external, we are the only ones that have the internal information that we have. And that is a huge piece of the puzzle that no one else feels or sees. And even if you try to communicate it and explain it, it's never going to be the same to anyone else, because it's not the same internal information to them. That is something that I don't think we understand enough, that there are two types of information external and internal, just like validation, or ways that you achieve goals intrinsic and extrinsic. There are different ways that you are motivated. And no one else is going to understand the things that are internal, because only you can feel and understand the things for you. And in motherhood, we often talk about intuition. Talk about trusting your gut, and you as a mom know what is right for your kids. And I've heard two perspectives on this. I've had some moms come to me and say, Everyone told me I'd figure it out. Once I became a mom, I just know, and I don't. And I think that's okay, there's so many psychological reasons that is the case, and that life is just life sometimes. But we have to be understanding that everyone's internal, knowing internal choice, internal motivation, doesn't look the same to everyone else. And sometimes that means for some, it's louder than it is to others. So whether you're making a decision on how you want to parent or what you want to do with your life, what your relationship looks like, or you're choosing to step into a calling that you have on your heart, not everyone's going to understand why you do what you do with your life. And you have to trust to just trust yourself. You have to trust that you are meant to trust yourself. Because there are so many things in life that can take joy from us, there are so many things that we can question. There's so many variables that be thrown our way. And if you don't allow yourself to just trust yourself, sometimes it's a whole other layer of stress, wonder, frustration. And if you can just believe that you are doing your best job 90% of the time, and you're gonna continue to improve when you don't do your best job, then that's all you can do. So the next time you have a belief, or an opinion, you want to act a certain way, as a parent, partner, friend, business owner, a mom, a employee. If you know your intentions in the right place, and you believe you're doing the best with the information you've been provided, then trust yourself. That internal and external information that is telling you, this is how you're meant to show up. This is how you're meant to pair it. This is the decision that you're meant to make in this situation. And it might change a week later, a day later, you may say, Okay, I tried that, I did the best I could in that scenario. Now I'm ready to do something different. But everyone is going to have an opinion. And everyone is going to have a reason that they have that opinion. And they're bringing that to the table. Your only job is to stay true to your knowing your internal and external information that you've been provided. And you have to trust that you're doing what's right for you. And just give love to those that don't understand. Is there something that you don't understand why someone doesn't know or doesn't understand there are new things in parenting that this generation does different than other generations. And future generations will do different than we do. We're all learning. There are things that people in the same generation do differently. There are things that different couples do differently, different employees, different humans, because we are all different people. I really don't believe that there's a solid right or wrong answer for many things in the world. And I think it's important to remind yourself of that. So the next time you question a decision you've made, or a belief that you have, were way that you feel about a conversation that you're either a part of or overhear or reflect on. Come back to what do I believe? What do I think about this? What is my knowing? What am I going to do with the information I've been provided in this situation at this point in time? You are meant to be you. You are meant to be the mother of your children. You are meant to be the partner Have your partner now or in the future, you are meant to be the person in that role, the opportunities you've been provided, at this point in time, the ones that you've been able to take on are not a mistake. You are not in the position that you're in for a mistake, but what you do with it, and how you respond to it and how you trust yourself in the next steps. Those are your choices. You don't have to do it alone. Always raise your hand and ask for help. And if someone doesn't understand why you're doing the things you're doing, look for another person. Look for another support. Not everyone in the world is going to misunderstand you so if you feel misunderstood, just keep looking. I love you so much. I am so proud of you for going after what you believe in the little things, the big things staying strong who you are. That's important. I'm sending you so much love mama. You are truly an amazing person. And I can't wait to talk to you next week. Keep going after those goals. Mom in your life that you see and love her by sharing this episode. Giving while your cup is overflowing always pays itself back tenfold when you need it most.