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Embracing the Bad Stuff
Episode 627th April 2023 • Burning Brightly • Bonnie Wiscombe
00:00:00 00:12:01

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If you're human, then you probably know that we spend most of our life just trying to feel good.

The problem with this chronic avoidance of negative emotion is that the hard, bad and scary stuff is actually what makes the good stuff BETTER.

Understanding this concept and embracing the "bad" stuff will ensure you can fully step into the role of entrepreneur and become a shining example of God's light.

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Transcripts

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Microphone (2- ATR2100x-USB Microphone) & HD Pro Webcam C920: Hey everyone.

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Welcome back to the podcast.

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Today's topic is one of my favorite spiritual topics.

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But it also has so much relevance in entrepreneurship and in reaching your

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greatest goals, are you ready to hear it?

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It is the idea that this life requires opposition in all things.

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What that means is good versus evil.

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joy and sorrow, light and dark.

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Yin and yang right to opposite, but interconnected forces.

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That are required for our growth and reaching our greatest potential.

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Now our lower brain.

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So that primitive brain that we talked about before.

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It's desire is to always be happy and lazy.

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It wants us to expend minimal effort.

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And to never feel anything negative because that might kill us.

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So it always wants us to just be lazy and happy all the time.

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It does not understand the necessity for this dichotomy, this good and bad

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and constantly having opposite forces.

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It actually wants to completely eliminate anything that might be hard or bad, or put

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us at risk of feeling negative emotion.

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And life coaching.

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We call this concept the idea of 50 50.

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In other words, that this life on earth, the only one we know about.

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We'll always be full of equal parts.

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Good and bad.

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Now people really hate hearing this.

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It is not a really popular concept because we love to think that we

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have a lot of control over our life.

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And if we just work hard enough or manage our minds enough or pray enough or make

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enough money that we can outrun the hard.

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The bad, the suffering.

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And as we probably all know that is impossible.

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Not because we're not working hard enough, not because we're not praying hard enough,

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not because we're not making enough money.

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But because it was always designed that way.

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So here's my question for you.

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Why do you want to avoid these things?

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Most of us never even asked this question because it seems pretty obvious, right?

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We don't want to do hard things or scary things.

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We don't want to experience sadness or pain because they feel bad.

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They hurt emotionally.

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They can actually cause physical pain as well and emotions create

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these vibrations in our body.

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That feel a specific way.

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And negative emotions create vibrations that we do not like to feel.

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But that's all that they do.

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They just create a sensation in our body.

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Have you ever realized that.

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In fact, the reason we call certain things bad, like death or loss,

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or, uh, a financial struggle or a divorce, we call those things bad

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because they create negative emotion.

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They create emotions that we do not enjoy feeling.

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And as we already know, Circumstances do not create negative emotions,

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the divorce, the death, the loss.

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None of those create sadness or sorrow or other negative emotion.

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It's our thoughts about them?

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In fact, have you ever met someone who has undergone something that

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you would consider negative?

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Like a divorce and feels no negative emotions surrounding it?

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Maybe they only feel relief or excitement looking forward.

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That's possible because it's not the divorce or the situation

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that's causing the emotion.

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It's the thoughts about it

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So, let me give you a few examples of these sensations that we feel

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and that we consider to be negative, When we experienced stress, it

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might feel tight in our chest.

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It might, cause a rapidly beating heartbeat.

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Uh, experiencing betrayal can cause thoughts that create a pit in our stomach,

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At like a heaviness, maybe some nausea.

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Experiencing deep sorrow.

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Feels heavy.

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And kind of stifling.

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Sometimes they can even make it hard to breathe.

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So we're feeling these emotions in our body.

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Thanks for the thoughts that we are experiencing due to a

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circumstance outside of our control.

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So our desire to stay away from the things that are hard or scary or bad or sad.

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Is simply a desire to not feel the things that I just described.

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Isn't that interesting.

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It's so fascinating.

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We just don't want to feel that heaviness.

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We just don't want to experience negative emotion.

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And so we avoid all the things that we see and deem to be bad or hard.

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Here's another truth bomb.

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I want to drop on you.

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Everything we do in life is simply because we believe it's going to make

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us feel better than we do right now.

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Now that's not a bad thing.

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It's just information that we can definitely use to help ourselves.

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Learn and grow.

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But it's important to remember that no matter how good we get at

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figuring out how to feel better.

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There will always be bad feelings right next door.

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Showing up at our front door sometimes.

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So let me give you another example.

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Very often people want to lose weight or get in shape because

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they feel awful about their bodies.

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They tell themselves terrible thoughts.

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They are self critical when they look in the mirror.

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They let their minds run away with them when their pants don't button.

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And so they go on this journey, they lose weight and guess what?

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They're still miserable.

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Because it's not being overweight that made them miserable in the first place.

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It was the thoughts they told themselves about being overweight.

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So when we realize that reaching our goals will not bring us

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the joy we're missing today.

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Then we do two things.

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Number one

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we learned to seek out more positive emotion and adapt to the negative

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emotion that's coming at us.

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And.

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Number two.

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We know that when we reach our goal, we will still be the same incredible,

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amazing human as we were before.

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We'll just have the added bonus of maybe weighing fewer pounds or having a

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successful business or whatever it may be.

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So, this is just a reminder that no matter how good quote unquote life gets, there

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will always be bad experiences as well.

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No matter what.

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So why is this the case?

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So many of us feel like we.

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Wish we could just do away with all the bad and the heart and the scary.

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But God designed us and this life this way for a reason.

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In his infinite wisdom, he knew that we could only reach our greatest

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potential for joy and happiness and all the wonderful emotions in the world.

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By being exposed.

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To the greatest sorrow and misery.

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It's such an interesting concept because if we can fully embrace

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that and fully appreciate it.

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Then we can fully welcome it in and when the bad and the sad and

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the scary and the hard comes in, we go, this is part of the deal.

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And on the other side of this is going to be even more.

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Good.

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Wonderful, exciting, amazing emotion.

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So here are a few examples I wanted to illustrate to show you how it is true.

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That positive emotions are magnified.

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By negative emotions.

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So first example, have you ever known, or you personally experienced

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the birth of a child after an infant loss or a miscarriage?

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They call these babies and rainbow babies for a reason.

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Because they came after the storm.

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The beauty and joy of embracing a baby into your life after a loss is

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a special kind of joy that is not available to those who have not lost.

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Succeeding in a business that has taken years of blood, sweat,

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and tears to get off the ground.

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It's a special kind of experience that can not be appreciated by

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those who have not worked that hard.

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Finding a new loving companion in life after a heartbreaking betrayal or divorce.

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Special kind of joy.

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Even in nature, we see this dichotomy.

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It's so cool.

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Think about the last time you experienced a sunrise?

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And it was pitch black, outside, and little by little, some light dawned.

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The miracle of seeing light after darkness.

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Or experiencing spring.

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Okay for us here in Phoenix, it's more like fall when summer is over.

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That's kind of our spring.

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When we come out of hiding.

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But the beautiful new growth on barren trees and new baby chicks

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coming to life after the, the freezing cold and misery of winter, Even

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the earth itself follows this law.

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I have.

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Opposition.

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Good and bad, dark and light.

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It's beautiful to see when you start looking for it.

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Okay, so back to entrepreneurship, what in the world does all this

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have to do with building a business?

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What this means is that we must learn to not only expect,

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but welcome the bad, the hard.

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The struggle and the frustration.

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I know this is a challenging concept.

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We want to just push it all away and only experienced the good of succeeding

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and making money and putting good out into the world and sharing God's light.

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But that is not how life works.

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We can't just tolerate the bad and the hard we can't just push it away or just

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try to escape it kind of skirt around it.

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Just like the toddler who has to fall down over and over and over

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before he, or she can learn to walk.

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Avoiding the hard parts of our business, we'll ensure one thing.

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It will ensure that we stay small.

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And if we're truly here and showing up to shine, God's light in the best way

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we know how sharing our talents with the world, no matter how scary and hard

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it is, we fully want to step into that.

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Then we have to embrace that it will be hard and it will be scary.

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But to not fear it, to understand that that is the path to our greatest joy.

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So cool.

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I will also add here that.

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In addition to building an incredible business, allowing the hard parts

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in and, and pushing through them.

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We'll ensure that you become the best version of yourself overall,

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you'll become the best mother.

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You can be the best Christian woman, the best neighbor,

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the best grandma eventually.

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It will ensure that you develop every aspect of yourself.

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Cause that's what building a business does.

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It requires us to do really hard, tricky things.

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And it requires us to manage our minds in ways that few other things do.

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So think about that.

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Do you want to expand yourself in a way you never could have imagined.

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Then dive right into the hard, scary stuff.

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Just do it because the payoff is immeasurable.

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All right.

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So my challenge for this week for you guys is to look for the

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beauty and the magic in these dichotomies, this yin and yang, this.

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You know, good and bad versus each other.

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Both in your life and in the world around you.

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I want you to look for these examples.

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I also want you to ask yourself what has been some of your darkest trials

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in life are your biggest struggles.

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What did you learn?

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And where did the joy come from afterwards?

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If you're still in the middle of that, that might be a little bit harder to find,

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but perspective is the great teacher.

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Look back a little bit farther.

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Look at those trials of your youth or young adulthood.

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Where did the joy and the growth and the learning come from.

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And chances are good.

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You're probably even grateful for those hard times.

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At this point, once you have the gift of perspective.

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I'm gonna leave you guys with a scripture in Psalms that perfectly

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describes this it's Psalm 35.

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It says weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

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I cannot wait for you guys to embrace all of this path of burning brightly.

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Every last part of it, the good, the bad, the ugly.

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It will all be worth it.

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I promise.

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