Hello I'm Vanessa, the host and producer of the Women In Confidence podcast. This week I talk you through one of the methods I use, with my coaching clients, to help them really understand in what way they lack confidence.

It is very easy to say 'I lack confidence' but most people don't know the nuances of their confidence and when/where it can let them down. By doing this exercise, I guide my clients to pin point what is causing a lack of confidence. We can then work on resolving that - and that will be the content on another episode (so keep on listening).

Anyone can try this exercise, but as I say in this episode - give yourself the time and space to do it. See it as an investment in yourself.

If you enjoy the episode or any of the Women In Confidence episodes, please rate and review and spread the word.

Next week I am joined by Theresa Lear Levine who talks about Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and manifesting confidence. Definitely not one to miss - we also recorded an EFT session with me, diving into a real issue that I am facing into. This was a special recording and I am very grateful to Theresa for doing this just for Women In Confidence. To get hold of that special recording, Theresa will give you the details in the episode.

Until next time

Vanessa xx

Hello, and welcome to this episode of women in confidence. So I've decided to slip myself into my own podcasting schedule today and update you on what I've been up to over the last couple of weeks. Also, I'm feeling super talkative today. And I want to just get some words out there and that might be because I largely spend most of my week working from home on my own, in an empty house.

And so I just, I sometimes end up with verbal diarrhea at the end of the. And I get to build up lots of thoughts and lots of words, which have to come out somewhere. And I guess that is the beauty of running your own podcast. It's such a great medium to get your thoughts out into the world and to get people, to listen to what I have to say around confidence.

So in the last fortnight I've been interviewed on two podcasts and these will be released later. Well, one later this month and the other one in September, and I'm gonna leave it up to the podcast hosts to take the lead on telling their audience about that first that's entirely what they, um, need to do and should do.

But once they're published, I will share widely with the women in confidence, audience and listeners and, and share widely. Of course, I promise. So during one of these recordings, the host asked me, how do I help my clients identify what is holding them back and why they lack confidence? You know, there are, there are a number of ways in which I can do this with my clients, but one of the ways that I like to use, and it doesn't have a snazzy name or branding or trademark, and maybe I should work on that.

But this is one where I get my clients to answer the following. And that is, I know I don't have confidence because I feel dot, dot do do I do.dot do, do dot and I say.dot, dot dot. Do. And I ask them to write this down on a piece of paper, on a board, on a wall, on post-it notes. But the three things that I really ask them to focus on is I feel I do.

And I say, so that's I feel I do. And I say, and by the way, I should also add. Please if you're going to do this exercise and I absolutely hope you do, please allow an hour at least because the few things that you write down under each of those questions will be pretty superficial and are unlikely to be the root cause.

And the idea being that the more you push the more your brain starts to really tap in to what's going on for you. So take the time, take your time. With each question and write down everything that comes to mind. Now, I absolutely love writing for many, many reasons, but largely because it implants the memory onto your brain.

So, as an example, I know I don't have confidence when I feel overwhelmed. When I feel overwhelmed, I go silent. When I go silent, I withdraw physically and mentally from the conversation that I'm in. So as you can see, just keep going until you don't have any more to add to that chain of questioning. By doing this exercise in its entirety, some common themes tend to start to show up.

So carrying on the case study, I just mentioned about withdrawing from the conversation that I'm in. It could be that speaking up in public is the root cause of someone's lack of confidence. And it's very common. One speaking in public is very, very common. But this, if you do this exercise that will give you something then to work on.

And in my coaching sessions, it really helps give our conversation a laser focus. So I know I'm just focusing on public speaking. So try this exercise and see how you get on, and please give yourself the time and the space to do it. So five minutes is not enough. And you won't be in the best mental and spiritual state to do this.

If you're juggling life and juggling work and then juggling life again. So book yourself into your diary or at least book this activity into your diary and make sure you are not disturbed at all. You need absolute focus and let me know how you get on by emailing me on contact@vanessa-murphy.com.

And let me know what comes up for you. I always like to hear from my listeners of the women in confidence podcast. So go ahead and please do reach out to me. I am gonna be posting this on my YouTube, so you can also comment there and I'll also reply. And I should say to all my YouTube followers, I am doing this recording on quite an old laptop.

So I'm really sorry that the, the screen isn't, um, a brilliant quality. So what's coming up for me in the next few weeks. I've got a great guest coming up next week's episode called Theresa Le Levine. And she talks a lot because she's the expert in emotional freedom, technique or EFT. She also talks about how you can manifest your confidence.

So it's absolutely one that you need to listen out to. Please also check the women in confidence, Instagram page. And if Instagram is not your thing, and it's TikTok is yours, then flip over to TikTok. And I'm also on there. And please rate, review and share this episode of women in confidence or any episode that you've listened to because it helps others.

People know that we exist. All right, until next time. Thank you. Lovely listeners.