You pray about your dreams, purpose, family, work, or next season, but still find yourself trying to control every detail. You believe God is faithful, yet trusting Him with the outcome can feel much harder than saying you trust Him.

In this episode, I share my own struggle with self reliance and what I am learning about releasing control, depending on God, and trusting His timing. We will talk about the difference between taking faithful action and striving to make everything happen on our own.

You will also be encouraged to recognize the gifts God has already placed within you, remain faithful in seasons of slow growth, and stop measuring God’s faithfulness by how quickly your circumstances change.

If you are tired of carrying the pressure to figure everything out, this conversation will help you surrender what is beyond your control and move forward with greater peace, patience, and faith.

Key takeaways

1. Why capable, responsible women often struggle to release control
2. How self reliance can quietly create anxiety, pressure, and exhaustion
3. The difference between faithful action and striving in your own strength
4. How to trust God when progress feels slow or your future is uncertain
5. Why waiting does not mean God has forgotten you
6. How your gifts may point toward the purpose God is asking you to pursue
7. What it looks like to surrender the outcome while continuing to take the next faithful step

Grab the Faith Fueled Creators Jumpstart guide here.

Join us for Joy Camp Summer here - https://kristinfitch.com/joy

Grab the Rewire Your Mind: From Negativity to Joy- download here.

Grab the Joy Rising- Daily Gratitude & Joy Journal here.

Download My Free Joyful Living Devotional: https://kristinfitch.com/devotional

Ready to take your first step towards a more joyful, faith-filled life? Download our Reignite Your Passion Workbook and start living with purpose today!

trusting God, how to trust God, letting go of control, how to let go and let God, Christian encouragement for women, Christian women over 40, trusting God’s timing, overcoming self reliance, stop trying to control everything, faith over fear, surrendering to God, trusting God with your future, trusting God with your dreams, waiting on God, finding your God given purpose, Christian personal growth, faith in difficult seasons, purpose for Christian women, God’s provision, taking faithful action

Podcast show notes used the help of AI to summarize the episode

Are you trying to do in your own strength what God has already promised you that he'll do in your life?

I don't know about you, but I've struggled with this one and I'm going to share with you something I recently walked through and you may be able to relate.

Also, I'm going to share with you how do we shift this?

How do we get out of this place and move to trusting and depending on God?

Welcome to Faith Filled Living, the podcast for women who want to find joy again, grow closer to God, and rediscover the woman he created you to be.

I'm your host, Kristin Fitch.

Each week you'll find encouragement, honest conversations, biblical perspective, and practical tools to help you experience more joy, purpose and peace in everyday life.

Because the woman God created you to be is still there, and it's never too late to come alive to the life he created you to live.

Has God called you to build something, grow something, or nurture something in your life?

But when things don't seem to be going as fast or as quick as you want, or you're not where you want to be, whether it's financially or or whatnot, you're hesitant to change course, even though God's called you to the work you're doing.

I have recently stepped through this and I want to share it with you because the honest truth is when we share things we've walked through, a lot of us can relate to that or we can take something from it and we all grow as a collective.

So I was working on my Faith Friday email for the week, which will come out in a day or two, and I was kind of debating what I wanted to write about.

And what I've learned for myself is when I'm struggling or I'm stuck to do the work or the task or finish part of the project I'm working on, that means it's time for me to step away.

Because when I try to force it, I just sit there and I sit there and I get nothing done.

Or I start on it and it's just not flowing.

There's nothing working.

So what I do is I go take a break and I pull a book off my shelf, I'll go grab a devotional or scripture, I will turn on music, I'll go for a walk or I'll just go sit out in the sunshine.

But what I need to do is I need to disconnect from trying to push my way, force my way through the thing.

And when I do that, then the ideas start to Flow again.

Something will resonate with me, right?

Something I read or a scripture or a song I heard or something I noticed outside or just when I stop pressuring myself to do the thing, it comes to me, right?

I mean, what I want to say or something at least that seems like, yeah, you know what?

This, this is good.

I want to say that.

Well, this is exactly what happened to me today.

I went outside, I took a break because the email, the words were not coming, or what I wanted to share.

And I pulled out one of Mark Batterson's books, he's pastor in D.C. of National Community Church.

And I pulled out one of his books from years ago called the Circle Maker.

And I went ahead and I flipped to the page where I had the longest little post it tab or note.

And just so we're clear, yes, I'm the person that I don't really like writing in books and I don't like bending the corners, but I do like post its or the little, what do you call page?

Darts, whatever you want to call them.

Basically, though, this one I had tabbed the furthest.

So then I flipped to that page and I said, okay, I'm going to read this page or two.

And I love it.

It was so inspiring to me.

And here's why I had I started building my podcasts.

And I first I started building the podcast Building a Life you Love, which is currently under Education, Self improvement, but it's been in other categories.

I've had it under entrepreneurship, I've had it under religion.

But anyways, so I built that one first.

And I guess by the next year I had released Faith Fueled Woman, which now I call Faith Fueled Living.

But I say all that to tell you that even though I've had.

And I'll share some numbers with you in a minute, I've had a good number of people listen to the podcast.

Sometimes I can feel defeated or like, is this even working?

And the reason I feel that way is because we all hear about the people that have a gazillion downloads or millions and millions, millions.

Or they have millions of people that listen to their show and so forth.

The most of us who didn't already have a huge following in the area we're in or whatnot, that can feel defeating, right?

Because those are the people that you always hear about.

Or maybe they're already, you know, a famous person or they're on a TV show or, you know, whatever it might be, or they're somebody that's so specific in what they're doing that it just easily resonates.

But I say all that to say that when I read these pages.

Mark shares that when he.

It took us five years to grow from one core group of 19 to 250 people.

Okay, so let's just pause right there, friends, for a minute.

Five years.

It took five years for a church.

Okay, which means that, yes, besides a pastor, they at least had volunteers, even if they didn't have any other paid staff yet.

Five years to get more than 19 people.

Think about how much that takes to.

To stay on mission to build the church he felt called to when you only have 19 people.

And I'm not saying 19 people is not a lot of people for something.

It's not a lot of people for a church, though, unless you're doing a home church.

Anyways, so when I read that, I already had a lightning in my heart, and I'm going to explain why.

But basically, here's the story.

Here's what happened that Mark explains.

A religion reporter from the Washington Post had said they wanted to interview him.

And they said, okay, the article will come out in the paper.

I don't know if it's the next.

Or a couple days later.

Oh, the Sunday edition.

But it was going to be in the religion section, you know, which makes sense.

And so Mark is basically going through the.

I don't know if it's the train station.

I think that's where they used to be at.

Anyways, he's.

He grabs a newspaper, he flips, flips to the religion section, doesn't see the interview, so he just puts it back.

You know, he's thinking, why am I gonna.

I'm not gonna buy the newspaper.

Well, it turns out that God moved, and they ended up on the front page of that entire section, the front page of Washington Post.

Well, as you can imagine, that year they had hundreds of visitors to their church, National.

National community church in D.C. and then from there, things just kept growing, Right?

And of course, at this point, they own lots of buildings and more than one church building, and they have a thriving church.

I've been to their church several times for different events.

And so, you know, here's what he shares, though.

He says, and the beautiful, beautiful thing about it is that we couldn't take credit for it.

It was nothing more, or maybe I should say nothing less than the favor of God.

It was God's timing.

It was God's favor.

It was God's word, and it was.

And God was watching over it.

And he explains through throughout his book, but he says every verse of On Favor is circled in my Bible.

And then he shares his personal one, which is the blessing that Moses pronounces over Joseph.

But what I love is he says the hard thing about praying hard is letting God do the heavy lifting.

You have to trust the favor of God to do for you what you cannot do for yourself.

You have to trust God to change hearts, even the heart of Pharaoh.

And the reason I'm sharing this is here's the deal.

But I didn't even share it with a soul.

Like, I didn't even tell my husband that I had recorded these episodes.

I just did it because I felt like God was prompting me to do.

To do a Christian podcast.

Because up until then, I didn't talk about my faith.

I mean, not, not as a, you know, ministry or as a, you know, the work I'm doing.

I mean, yes, I would talk about my faith, like maybe with my friends that were, you know, outwardly Christian and things, but I. I wasn't talking about my faith regularly, and I definitely wasn't really talking about it online.

So this was a big move for me, but it was one where I felt God for some years prompting me, you know, giving me that little whisper in the acknowledgment that, yes, you are meant to speak and write about your faith, about everyday life.

And to be honest with you, since college I had been drawn towards Christian authors and books that, yes, some of my friends like those books, but I have lots of other friends that don't read those kind of books.

And so anyways, I finally, you know, I had started the podcast, and at the time I was calling it Spark of Faith, but as I said, I hadn't even shared it or put it anywhere except for just recorded some episodes.

So fast forward to today.

I can get stuck in two problems.

One is how do I make, you know, more income from what I'm currently doing?

And then the second thing is, gosh, you know, I feel like it should be growing faster or bigger or I should have more a bigger audience.

But let me reverse and explain to you that that's just a false comparison.

One and two, God is not saying that I'm supposed to run a race against someone else and maybe you can relate with that.

Maybe you're doing the same thing in some area of your life or maybe you have a seed planted but you're hesitant to move forward with it because you see everybody else, right?

The stories that people say, you know, the success they have.

And you're thinking, but I'm here, I'm not even at square one yet.

I'm at square zero.

Well, I'm just want to encourage you because while my podcast is tiny in comparison to lots of people's over the last four and a half years of faith fueled living, I'm just going to talk about that one.

The other one has its own audience.

I've reached cumulatively over or I'm sorry, close to 50,000 people in 168 countries.

Some of those countries are countries that do not allow you to practice Christianity.

Most of my listeners are us, Canada, uk, sometimes Australia.

So most, most of my listeners are English speaking countries.

But some of them are not.

And then some are, like I said, don't even allow you to outwardly practice Christianity.

So what am I saying?

50,000 People cumulatively.

So this is not my, my monthly number.

My monthly number is thousands of 50,000.

But the reason I'm sharing this with you is to say I'm comparing it to the biggest players who probably have a team or they've had some big exposure prior, like they already had written books or they were on TV or whatever it might be.

Well, I was starting from having no background in this industry, right?

Christianity, religion, 50,000.

That's more than a lot of pastors have reached in the last couple years.

So why am I minimizing that number?

Also, I want to remind myself and you, I've said this before, but to be honest with you, walking it and speaking it can be different.

I've, like I said, I've shared this before.

It's this.

God is asking us to be faithful, right?

To be consistent, to show up, to keep putting up the effort for whatever he's called you into.

And it may not be anything related to what I'm doing.

You may be a teacher and you feel called to pray over those children.

You may be a stay at home parent, maybe your kids are getting older and you're looking for that next thing.

But whatever you're doing, maybe you are a marketing manager, but wherever you're called to be right now, God's just saying be faithful in your work.

And so I've shared that before and I feel true.

I mean I truly do believe that, and I believe that it's up to God, right, To blow off the.

Or to create the listeners or to bring the people to the podcast episodes.

That's going to resonate with them.

Maybe it's only one episode that I did that resonates with them.

Maybe somebody else listens to a lot of the episodes.

So I know this in my heart.

But then I step into the world and I have pressures just like everyone else, you know, and so two of the pressures are, is, do I have a big enough audience, you know, that monthly audience, especially not necessarily the cumulative.

And that that number is growing, but it's growing slowly or at least, you know, sometimes I've actually had a big.

Well, big for me, spike, right, in a certain days where the numbers are a lot higher than my other days.

But it hasn't consistently stayed there.

But there's a couple things.

One is I sometimes then get the pressure.

Like, gosh, I would be doing if I went and got a corporate job again.

I would be making a salary with benefits.

It would feel safer, right?

It would feel safer to do that.

And so sometimes on occasion, I get that wild hair or I feel pressured, you know, by.

I guess we'll just say my family, that, like, okay, well, gosh, you know, your income used to be this.

Well, I'm not there right now.

But here's the honest truth.

Partly it's because I haven't hustled maybe as much as I could have.

And obviously, I don't think we need to hustle.

But what I mean is, I guess I could.

I could be knocking on more.

More doors.

I could be doing more.

Or I just have to trust God.

God in his timing and say I'm doing what he's faithfully asking me to do.

And the show is growing and I'm getting more of the guests that I want on the show.

So if I.

If I step back, right, and I zoom out and I look and then I. I am encouraged by stories like Pastor Marks.

I go, just stay the course, keep going, you know, and slow growth is still growth.

And so that is what I want to share with you today.

That's what I want to encourage you in your own life and whatever you're doing.

Sometimes things do feel stagnant.

Sometimes it does feel like we're plateaued or, you know, you see little glimmers of, okay, this is.

This is going good.

But then other days you feel like, do I just need to run and, you know, go work for someone else as well.

But here's what's amazing when I do that at that moment, it gives me like a little bump of a high because I feel like I'm trying to control, I'm trying to, I'm depending on, oh, could I get this thing.

But here's what I figured out.

I was only doing that sometimes when I've applied to something because of fear or because I was trying to grab towards providing for myself or depending on myself instead of God.

So my question is, are you believing God for what he says he'll do in our lives?

Are you trusting him to come through for you either to grow the dream, to build the dream, to bring the people that you need to come forth to either grow the ministry or to make a difference in people's lives or for your income?

And you know, the thing is, is when I've done that, I'm not saying that that's wrong.

We obviously have to provide for our families, but we are already, my family's already provided for.

So this would just be additional.

And I'm not saying doing additional things is bad either because I actually just started something which will be an additional revenue stream.

But it's not going to take away from me doing all of this stuff.

Meaning I think it's fine.

I actually have several things that I'm working on, but they're my things which I could then connect back to the ministry.

I could connect back to my having free time and freedom.

And so the difference though is those things support what I'm already doing and what God's called me into.

It's when I started looking at opportunities that did not fit.

I was doing them because I felt pressured, right?

Not by myself, I just felt pressured.

So the next question is, where or who are you depending on?

Are you depending on yourself?

Are you depending on God?

And I can tell you this very early this year, like I said, finances are okay, but we can always have.

Well, I don't mean we can always have more, but we still had all three of our sons living at home and we were honestly still paying for all their bills.

That's starting to change.

One of our sons just took his first time full time career job and moved away for that job.

And so as of later this month, he'll be completely paying for all his bills.

But at the time we had two sons in college and we were paying for everything, right?

Like car insurance, you know, all the things.

But my point is, and we were doing that fine, but we then had additional amount of money come in that was unexpected, you know, a plus.

And and that was awesome.

But once again, God provided.

We don't always know how he's going to do it, but he does it, especially when we believe him for it.

And we pray those promises and those blessings over our life that are in the scripture.

He's done it before and he'll do it again.

But it can be scary and it can be hard to do that sometimes, even when I believe God for it.

It's the other voices around us sometimes that can pull us to say, okay, fine, I guess I'll, I'll think about this other, this other thing.

But the honest truth is if I was staying steady, if I was holding to what God's called me into, I wouldn't have even faltered.

I would have just been clear on no, I know this is it.

I know I'm in the right direction now.

I may God may still be waiting to continue to change a habit or my heart or right.

So he still is doing work in me that maybe I'm not at the point where he wants me to be before he'll move in an even bigger way.

Or maybe he wants to see that I'll trust him for however long it takes.

And then I want to share with you something that a guest of mine, I had a guest on before that she shared today and you know, guest and a friend, I don't talk to her often, but that really resonated and it was very similar to something what I just explained and what I've gone through and that she shared.

She's been through it.

So she is another woman with a podcast in a ministry very similar named.

And she said the same thing like that happened to her.

She was working already in her ministry and she said she almost got hired into a full time position but then she told the person that was potentially going to hire her kind of like, you know, she really feels called to her work that she's already doing.

And she said, you know what it did is it let her pause.

And she said it made me look at what I was reaching for.

And that is exactly what I was explaining.

That's what happened to me.

I do it when my husband or something happens where I think, you know what, yeah, that would be faster, that would be easier to go get a corporate job like a, you know, high paying job than doing what I'm doing now.

And but then I, like I said, the more I think about it, it doesn't sit right.

And I realize, no, I'm building what I'm supposed to be building.

I just need to be patient or build other things that might help grow different revenues, but that are aligned in that I can do it and still grow this.

And she basically, though, says, I want to share this with you.

She says she hadn't realized this, but she said my dependence had shifted from the Lord to the world, and I never noticed the handoff.

She says I called it wisdom.

It was fear with a budget.

And so she declined it.

And she said, sometimes God doesn't close the door.

He just slows you down long enough to see what your hands are gripping and let you be the one to let go.

Oh my gosh.

Right?

Like so.

It's two examples.

And I wanted to share her just a little piece of her story because once again, I think a lot of us feel that pressure.

And I would say pray on it, because there's times where we are supposed to step into the the job or a new job or whatever it might be.

But in my case and in her case, where we've both been building things and working with people, that it's a little bit different.

And it may be different for you, too.

And I wanted to share a couple scriptures with you that just reminds us of the promise that God will provide.

The first is Philippians 4:19, which says, and my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus.

Another one is Matthew 6:33, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Another is Genesis 9.

Three, every moving thing that lives shall be food for you.

And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything, and I'll share two others.

Matthew 6:25 reminds us and says, therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.

Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?

And then the last one I'll share is Deuteronomy 8:18.

You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, and that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day.

So that's the thing.

First of all, God tells us, don't, don't worry, don't be anxious about, you know, where things will come from.

Don't be anxious about tomorrow.

He tells us that he is the one that provides us with wealth, right?

Or the ability to do that.

He also says that he will be our provider.

And so we have to remember that, but we have to Pray on that.

And yes, we have to also act.

So God's not just saying, like, lay on your sofa and he's going to provide, but what I am saying is do what he's calling you into, and he will provide.

Right?

So.

And that may shift, and we have to discern that.

I love author Emily P. Freeman.

She's written several books.

One's called I think A Million Little Ways, and then her other one is called the Next Right Thing.

But what I love about her books is, yes, sometimes we.

Sometimes I think she explains it.

Sometimes we can be excited about a new opportunity.

Maybe you get invited to speak at your church or something.

And sometimes that's the right thing, right?

It's the right step for where you're at or what you're doing.

But other times it's because the idea is exciting.

And so we do it.

But we have to discern before we say yes to things, which thing is lined up for where we're at our season, what we're working on and what God wants us to be doing.

And so that is really what I'm talking about today is are you operating from trying to trust yourself and trying to depend on yourself, or are you operating a place where you trust God for His promises and you believe him for them?

And I.

This is hard, guys.

I get it.

Because, like, some days I think I'm good, I'm there.

And then things like this happen where I'll feel pressured to look at other opportunities, just to kind of see what's out there.

And then on occasion, I'll be like, well, I'll just put my hat in the ring.

But the honest truth is I then know after I do it, like in the moment, I get in the zone and I'm like, okay, I'll put my name in that.

Or this feels aligned in one way.

But after I. I always say, no, I.

That's not where God wants me.

It's just that we have to keep going back there every day.

And so for me, I'm going to need to.

Even though I have, like a. I have a little notebook that has all different types of prayers in it.

It's just so I can keep it in one place.

I'm not.

I don't say every one of those every day.

It's a pretty big notebook.

But I say certain ones right, for my family, for my home, for the work I'm doing.

But the honest truth is, is that I need to probably bring it to God a little bit more.

And I have some, you know, that I pray about, give me wisdom or in the decision I'm making, things like that.

Also, I want to share with you this little excerpt from Emily P. Freeman's book, the Next Right Thing that might resonate with you.

She says, I spent years wishing people would support me, only to later realize I was waiting around for something to come to me when I was perfectly capable of going out and getting it.

I'm convinced God is less interested in where we end up than he is and who we are becoming.

Whether we're employed or unemployed, encouraged or discouraged, filled with vision or fumbling in the fog.

More than anything, our Father just wants to be with us.

The most common way he shows his witness to us is in the actual physical presence of other people.

The way we intentionally gather people for the purpose of discernment might not be for everyone.

But if you're in a season of transition or have a huge decision in front of you and you feel stuck, hearing yourself say words in the company of some people you trust will be immensely valuable.

Oh my gosh, it's so true, guys.

And the honest truth is, as much as I gather with people very regularly, I am somebody that while I share a lot, I also keep some stuff close to my, you know, to my chest.

But because of that, I don't always then regularly go to a few close people and say to them, like, hey, I'm thinking about this or that I just kind of act.

But the negative that is, sometimes we are stuck or we're not sure how to move forward or should we stay the course, or do we just need some encouragement?

Because when you're somebody like me, where I'm doing writing and I'm doing the podcast and things and trying to help encourage people, sometimes we're the ones that we're not always being encouraged because we're the always the encouraging one in a lot of our circles.

And so anyways, I hope that that little tidbit from her helps as well, because one, like I said before and I share often on the podcast, God does want us to take action.

He does want us to act and move forward.

And of course I am right with the work I'm doing.

But when we start questioning it, the other thing is I think we have to go back to our vision.

Like, why am I doing this work and what is my vision for all the work I'm doing and how does it connect together?

Because the clearer we stay there.

I know some people review their mission or their vision daily, you know, as they get started for the day and Yours might just be a prayer that you say right over your day, over your life, regardless of what type of work you're doing.

But I only say that to say that, you know, the other thing is, is maybe it's because I wasn't reviewing it as closely like I was doing the work, but I wasn't reviewing, like, why am I doing all of this?

Right?

And one reason is to give glory to God.

But that's, that's one of the actions I'm taking.

But I also need to remember what is my role?

What is, what am I trying to build here?

And so anyways, I hope that encourages you and I will see you here back.

And I wanted to share with you as well.

I, I think a couple episodes ago I shared this, but I created a download for you, for anybody, that this really resonated with today and that you're somebody, that you're like, you know what?

God has given me something.

And I'm just trying to figure out, how do I make this, how do I move this dream forward, how do I do this work?

How do I do my ministry, how do I build it?

And I created the Faith Field Creators Jumpstart Guide.

And basically it helps you discern and really sit down and reflect on if you've been praying for provision while overlooking, are you overlooking your very gifts, experience and passions God's already given you.

In other words, when I questioned, okay, is what I'm working on, like, is it it or do.

Should I go do this other thing?

I was only doing the other thing because I was ignoring what God's already provided for me to use, to grow this business, to grow this ministry and to provide.

But it's because I let fear creep in.

I let uncertainty, and then I let the idea of believing that security comes from someone else paying me instead of God showing me how we get provided, how our family's provided for.

And like I said, it's.

We've always been provided for.

But you know, sometimes we think, you know what?

But if I just had this other thing or for a period of time I did this, then you think, oh, then I'd feel, I, I'd feel less concerned about it.

And I wouldn't even say we're concerned because we could definitely cut things too.

Anyways, but here's what I'm explaining to you.

You can go to my website, KristinFitch.com and go grab this Faithfield Creators Jumpstart guide.

But basically just going to walk you through some questions and then writing down sort of what has God already given you, like, what things could you do with what you already know or experiences or things that come easy to you, you know, so it's.

It's just going to walk you through this and then help you kind of decide, like, is there something here?

I'm either already started or I'm already doing.

Or maybe you've just been wondering or thinking about it.

Or maybe you're in the other camp and you're somebody that's never thought about that.

God's already provided you things.

They're already in your hands, and he's just waiting for you to show up in the world and serve others with the gift or the experience or the knowledge.

You'd be shocked.

You can literally help people with anything.

You know, it could be that you're amazing at getting, like, kids to sleep.

It could be like, you're the best sourdough baker, you're an amazing gardener, backyard gardener.

It could be like, you rock on, you know, marketing for solopreneurs, whatever it is.

It can literally be like, you know, how to sew, you know, clothing, and people are wanting to, like, learn how to do more stuff for themselves again.

And so whatever it is, the point is that this guide, and it's completely free, you can go grab it.

But go grab that if that's of interest to you.

I'm also going to start a Faithfield creators call twice a month, and I would love to invite you to join me for that.

The first couple is just going to be sort of like a Q and A, and I'll share some things.

I just want to see the pulse of women listening and how I can help them, how I can serve them.

So if that's of interest, if you enjoyed today's episode, if you could leave a rating review on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts, it helps the show get discovered by more people so that we can continue to uplift and encourage people in their faith journey as well as all of the other parts of their lives.