"Our Happy Divorce" authors, Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond slid into the diner booth with me this week. Divorce is never easy but these two have figured out a way to make it work for their son Asher. We started our conversation talking about how Ben and Nikki met, when the sparks flew, and what brought them from San Francisco to Tampa, Florida. Making friends in a new city is hard and resentment is a tough emotion to shake when it starts building. I really appreciate the candor and self-awareness they both showed when owning how the years leading up to the divorce and the few after could have been handled better. We also talked about how they worked through the popular, though flawed, rationale many unhappy couples have: Stay together for the kids. We ended talking about the importance of counseling, the beauty of an open mind, and the power of clarity in communication. This was filled with just the right amount of couple bantering and deep-hitting realities. Excited for you to hear it!
About the Guest:
From weeknight dinners and homework sessions with their son to Christmas card photos and vacations, Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their new amazing spouses and children.
Ben and Nikki had hoped their wedding would start their happily ever after—but seven years, one child, and countless financial and familial entanglements later, their I do-s had turned into We can’t-s. Armed with their fierce love for their son and a desire to give him the best, they realized they needed to find an alternative to the seemingly inevitable toxic divorce that loomed over their lives.
Refusing to participate in the standard litigious legal divorce process, they devised a new strategy and worked to confront their hurt feelings and fragile egos head-on. Committed to putting Asher’s needs first in every decision, they helped each other heal and build a future. Their happily blended family today is a testament to their commitment to a few core principles and their incredible son—during the divorce and beyond.
In their stunning book "Our Happy Divorce," Ben and Nikki elaborate on the difficulties of their divorce experience, their individual pains and triumphs, and their unique approach to relationships and blended families. Their story is sure to inspire others to pursue something few believe possible…a happy divorce.
Connect with Ben and Nikki and learn more:
Link to their book on Amazon
@ourhappydivorce on Instgram
About the Host:
Friends! Here's a somewhat stuffy bio of me:
I am an author, professional speaker, coach, host, and entrepreneur. My first book, Leading Imperfectly: The value of being authentic for leaders, professionals, and human beings, is available wherever people buy books. I speak internationally to willing and unwilling attendees about authenticity, vulnerability, and leadership. My clients include American Express, General Electric (GE), Accenture, Yale University, The Ohio State University, and many others. As a speaker, I am doing the two things I loves the most: making people think and making people laugh!
I host my own events multiple times a year. They are 2-day events called Living Imperfectly Live (and sometimes they are 1-day virtual events). They are a space where humans from every walk of life can come together to be part of a community on the pursuit of badassery. The goal is to help attendees start living the life we say we want to live.
Alas, you're here because of an idea I had a number of years ago and didn't think I was good enough to pull it off. I finally acted on it and alas Diner Talks with James was born! As you can see from what I do in my professional life, Diner Talks is aligned with everything I believe in and teach. If this wasn't dry enough, and you would like to know more info about my speaking, events, or coaching feel free to check out my website: JamesTRobo.com.
Let’s Be Friends on Social Media!
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrobilotta/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/JamesRobilottaCSP
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/JamesTRobo
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