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Sexual Performance & Dating: What Matters for Men
Episode 26825th April 2025 • Sexual Health For Men • Dr. Anne Truong
00:00:00 00:43:08

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Are you a modern man struggling to navigate the confusing world of dating, especially with the added challenge of erectile dysfunction? You’re not alone, and the dating game has changed more than you think.

In this podcast episode, I sit with Tripp Kramer to dive into the truths most men aren't talking about. We explore how Tripp Advice is helping men just like you regain their confidence, rebuild attraction, and take control of their love lives.

Don’t miss out on this eye-opening conversation. Tune in now because your next breakthrough could be one listen away.

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About Tripp Kramer

Tripp Kramer is a globally recognized dating coach who has been helping men confidently attract the kind of women they truly desire since 2009. With nearly 1 million YouTube subscribers and a hit podcast, How To Talk To Girls, boasting over 55,000 weekly downloads, he’s become a trusted voice for men looking to level up their dating lives—without the gimmicks.

But it wasn’t always that way. Tripp started off as the classic “nice guy,” believing that treating women like royalty was the key to winning their hearts. After learning the hard way that authenticity beats people-pleasing, he’s dedicated his career to helping shy, introverted, or confused guys stop pretending—and start attracting through genuine confidence.

Want to connect with Tripp and explore more of his insights?

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If you liked this episode, please SUBSCRIBE, like, leave a comment, and share so we can keep bringing you valuable content that gets results!

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For all links and resources mentioned on the show and where to subscribe to the podcast, please visit https://sexualhealthformenpodcast.com/modern-man-dating-tripp-advice

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Want to regain control of your sex life? It’s time to reverse the effects of ED on your life. Join the Modern Man Club and start your road to full recovery and community.

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Transcripts

Anne Truong:

This podcast is for you, the Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne

Anne Truong:

Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor

Anne Truong:

and best selling author of the book, Erectile Dysfunction Fix.

Anne Truong:

I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how

Anne Truong:

it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get

Anne Truong:

started, and be sure to visit my website at

Anne Truong:

sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and

Anne Truong:

resources from the show. See you on the inside.

Anne Truong:

Hello there, Modern Man. In this episode, we have Tripp Kramer,

Anne Truong:

who is the owner of Tripp Advice, and he is an expert in

Anne Truong:

dating advice for men. And I am so glad that he's here with us,

Anne Truong:

because we're going to find all sorts of nuggets about gow to

Anne Truong:

have sexual magnetism for the opposite sex. So, welcome Tripp.

Tripp Kramer:

Thanks. Dr. Anne, I appreciate being here and

Tripp Kramer:

excited to help out your audience so thank you for having

Tripp Kramer:

me.

Anne Truong:

Well, I'm looking forward to our episode, because

Anne Truong:

I'm just gonna dive into it. And you're in the world of dating,

Anne Truong:

which is a very complex world. And so what are the common

Anne Truong:

problem or challenges that you face with men, with dating in

Anne Truong:

2025 at this point?

Tripp Kramer:

Yeah, in 2025 there's a lot. I'd say, in no

Tripp Kramer:

particular order. You would say right now men just don't really

Tripp Kramer:

know how to act with women. They're just a little bit lost

Tripp Kramer:

because women want very masculine guys, but women have

Tripp Kramer:

become more masculine over the past 30, 40, years. Men are a

Tripp Kramer:

little bit more turned off by the fact that women are saying

Tripp Kramer:

that they don't need a man and that women are really trying to

Tripp Kramer:

make a life for themselves that doesn't necessarily need a man

Tripp Kramer:

like we did in 50, 60, 70, years ago. And so there's this kind of

Tripp Kramer:

gender war going on between men and women that's making it

Tripp Kramer:

harder for everyone to get together and respect each other,

Tripp Kramer:

and so men just don't really know what to do. Meanwhile,

Tripp Kramer:

they're trying to do online dating, because that's so easy

Tripp Kramer:

to just do on your phone, but online dating is very

Tripp Kramer:

challenging to meet women on there, and then if they want to

Tripp Kramer:

meet women in person, it's confusing. They don't know what

Tripp Kramer:

to do because of the "ME TOO" movement, and women saying

Tripp Kramer:

online that it's creepy when guys approach, but then they

Tripp Kramer:

also say that they do want them to approach, and why men

Tripp Kramer:

approaching anymore. So a lot of mixed signals coming in from

Tripp Kramer:

women, from society, from the internet, and they're just a

Tripp Kramer:

little bit lost, more lost than they ever have been, I would

Tripp Kramer:

say, over 10 years ago, it was very simple. It was just, yeah,

Tripp Kramer:

I'm a little bit nervous to talk to women, and I don't know how

Tripp Kramer:

to flirt. That was really the only issues. Now we've stacked

Tripp Kramer:

it all, and it's become challenging to be able to meet

Tripp Kramer:

women in this modern world. So that's what we're dealing with

Tripp Kramer:

right now.

Anne Truong:

Wow. That is very, very interesting. And I actually

Anne Truong:

do see that at this point, and it's even more challenging,

Anne Truong:

particularly in the population. I work with older men over 50,

Anne Truong:

let's say divorce or widow, lost his partner, now back in the

Anne Truong:

dating world, and starting to see the challenges now and

Anne Truong:

trying to navigate that. So how do you advise men to navigate

Anne Truong:

this tough water right now?

Tripp Kramer:

Keep it simple. Everything with this, because

Tripp Kramer:

it's so complicated, has to be simplified. So we need to go to

Tripp Kramer:

the very basics of what attraction is. Attraction has

Tripp Kramer:

not changed. So that's what men have to understand. Women have

Tripp Kramer:

to understand that too. We're talking to men right now,

Tripp Kramer:

attraction has not changed. Women are attracted to a

Tripp Kramer:

specific set of traits from men. That's just how it is. It's

Tripp Kramer:

primal, so we have to tap into those traits, and that is what's

Tripp Kramer:

going to help with building attraction with women. I'm just

Tripp Kramer:

kind of giving you a very bird's eye view of it all. But then the

Tripp Kramer:

second problem is, okay, great. I understand how to attract

Tripp Kramer:

women and flirt, and I understand the male and female

Tripp Kramer:

dynamics, but how do I meet women? That's the other part,

Tripp Kramer:

because online dating isn't working for me, or I have

Tripp Kramer:

approach anxiety, or whatever complaints men have right now

Tripp Kramer:

about meeting women in 2025 it's all about volume. It's all about

Tripp Kramer:

volume, which means that you have to be getting lots of

Tripp Kramer:

chances at bat to a have a chance to see if a woman's going

Tripp Kramer:

to be attracted to you, because they have a lot of options today

Tripp Kramer:

or. B find someone who you are attracted to, because it's

Tripp Kramer:

important to know who you're going to like as well. So in

Tripp Kramer:

order to do that, we need volume. So we need to do

Tripp Kramer:

everything. I am not anti approaching I'm not anti online

Tripp Kramer:

dating. I'm not anti anyway of meeting women. My whole theory

Tripp Kramer:

is you have to give yourself all the different options possible.

Tripp Kramer:

So online approaching, through your social circle, through

Tripp Kramer:

events, meetups and single events, whatever you can find in

Tripp Kramer:

your city, all of it, all the above, and then maximize the

Tripp Kramer:

output of all those different things. For example, you want to

Tripp Kramer:

be swiping at least an hour a day. You want to be approaching

Tripp Kramer:

women at least a couple times per week, at least. And the more

Tripp Kramer:

and more you do that, what's really cool is you're not going

Tripp Kramer:

to just get more chances at bat to meet a woman that you enjoy,

Tripp Kramer:

and she enjoys you, but you're also going to get better at the

Tripp Kramer:

art of being able to attract a woman, because you can't just

Tripp Kramer:

learn any skill from a book and then it's there. You need to

Tripp Kramer:

practice it. You need to put it into play.

Anne Truong:

Wow, that sounds like marketing. You gotta be out

Anne Truong:

there. You gotta create multiple messages on different platforms.

Anne Truong:

Like you said, in person, online and at events and social circles

Anne Truong:

and volume. And it's very, very interesting. So can you talk

Anne Truong:

about the trait that you mentioned earlier? And the

Anne Truong:

attraction has not changed. I love that absolutely. Attraction

Anne Truong:

has not changed in 2025 or in 1925 or 1825. You're still men,

Anne Truong:

you're still women. And there are certain things that women

Anne Truong:

are attracted to. So let's dive deep into that. What are those

Anne Truong:

traits?

Tripp Kramer:

Cool. So we have to break it down to what are

Tripp Kramer:

women attracted to in a primal sense. And I did not make this

Tripp Kramer:

up. This is from research, real research that has been done,

Tripp Kramer:

data that has been collected over several cultures, by the

Tripp Kramer:

way, to find out that no matter where you're from or who you

Tripp Kramer:

are, if you are a female, then you are going to be attracted to

Tripp Kramer:

this set of traits. The set of traits can be categorized as

Tripp Kramer:

provider and protector traits. Okay, so provider protector

Tripp Kramer:

traits are traits that a man can exhibit that are going to be the

Tripp Kramer:

most attractive to women. So obviously you got some that are

Tripp Kramer:

money resources. So again, provider protector traits being

Tripp Kramer:

able to protect the family and get access to resources. So if

Tripp Kramer:

you have money, that's going to help. I know that scares some

Tripp Kramer:

guys away, so don't worry. We're going to get into that. I know

Tripp Kramer:

not every guy has money, or they even it's very big of how much

Tripp Kramer:

money do you really need? We'll get into that. So money

Tripp Kramer:

strength, mentally and physically. So someone who can

Tripp Kramer:

protect, usually is someone who doesn't have any sort of

Tripp Kramer:

emotional issue or disorder, so that they can be around to

Tripp Kramer:

again, protect the family. So that's going to also have to do

Tripp Kramer:

with your ability to be decisive and to lead and to make

Tripp Kramer:

decisions that are going to help the family, as well as just

Tripp Kramer:

general common sense and intellect. So all these things

Tripp Kramer:

are things that are going to help protect and provide for a

Tripp Kramer:

family. Okay? Because it's not that women are necessarily weak,

Tripp Kramer:

although they have done studies that the male body generally,

Tripp Kramer:

typically is stronger, usually taller. But women get pregnant,

Tripp Kramer:

and when they're pregnant, they cannot protect the family, and

Tripp Kramer:

they have to be burying the child and taking care of the

Tripp Kramer:

child. So that's where this is all coming from. This is based

Tripp Kramer:

in, you know, evolutionary theory. So leader, provider,

Tripp Kramer:

protector, intellect, social charisma, right? If you're

Tripp Kramer:

someone who's well connected and you're good with people, that's

Tripp Kramer:

also a sign that you can access resources. So I'd say that's a

Tripp Kramer:

majority of it. What I teach here at Tripp Advice is how to

Tripp Kramer:

access those without having to be super well connected, like a

Tripp Kramer:

celebrity, or super rich or super tall. Do those things

Tripp Kramer:

help? Absolutely, if you are super rich, super tall, super

Tripp Kramer:

good looking, a celebrity of some sort, you can pretty much

Tripp Kramer:

be with most women. Now, a lot of the rhetoric online is that

Tripp Kramer:

if you don't have that, then you're just not going to be able

Tripp Kramer:

to get anywhere, and it's money, looks and status. If you don't

Tripp Kramer:

have that, nothing's going to happen. I'm coming here to tell

Tripp Kramer:

you that that is not true. You don't need to have the most

Tripp Kramer:

extreme versions of all that. Instead, you just need to

Tripp Kramer:

display person. Reality, traits that exhibit that. Now, to be

Tripp Kramer:

fair, no you cannot use and tap into these traits and be someone

Tripp Kramer:

who is has no path, no purpose. You're completely broke. You're

Tripp Kramer:

living at home with your parents. You're not good social

Tripp Kramer:

like those things. You have to have a bare minimum, I would say

Tripp Kramer:

it's like a spectrum. If you have it all, rich, famous, etc,

Tripp Kramer:

you get more options with women. If you're at the bottom, where

Tripp Kramer:

you're a loner and you have no money and you have nothing going

Tripp Kramer:

on for yourself, I don't know. You're homeless, let's say you

Tripp Kramer:

clearly don't have a lot more options with women here. But the

Tripp Kramer:

more you can tap into these traits, the more opportunities

Tripp Kramer:

you have. Is that clear?

Anne Truong:

Yeah, no, that makes sense. It's almost like

Anne Truong:

women want to feel a sense of safe and being protected, and

Anne Truong:

that is either you're a human or you're a bird, because you want

Anne Truong:

to feel protected, because you're going to be pregnant,

Anne Truong:

you're gonna have babies that you need to protect, but you

Anne Truong:

need somebody to protect you, as well as shelter, physical and

Anne Truong:

mental protection. But I like the way that you break that

Anne Truong:

down. But the first thing I thought about, well, that's kind

Anne Truong:

of big order, a tall order there for men to have financial and

Anne Truong:

physical strength, mental strength and social status.

Anne Truong:

We're not talking about the movie star. They're movie star

Anne Truong:

for a reason. They have this physical attribute. Whether they

Anne Truong:

have the personality trait, we don't know. But the physical

Anne Truong:

attribute, I'll ask you something about that later. But

Anne Truong:

how are average daily men who does not have an eight pack, who

Anne Truong:

are in their 50s, who are just now coming out of a divorce.

Anne Truong:

They've been married, let's say 25 years. It's out of a divorce.

Anne Truong:

Haven't dated in a while, not in the best of shape, middle class

Anne Truong:

level. And how does he optimize his chances in dating?

Tripp Kramer:

Absolutely so here's the good news, here's

Tripp Kramer:

what I found. This is, again, all the common rhetoric

Tripp Kramer:

happening right now online. Looks matter, personality

Tripp Kramer:

matters a lot more. There's a heavier weight in terms of being

Tripp Kramer:

able to provide for the family when you have certain

Tripp Kramer:

capabilities in your personality. So yeah, if you're

Tripp Kramer:

tall, you're strong, you're lean, you have an eight pack.

Tripp Kramer:

Does that help? Yes, but you don't necessarily need that, and

Tripp Kramer:

you can make up for that with some of the personality traits

Tripp Kramer:

that we can talk and dive into deeper for men who are, you

Tripp Kramer:

know, over 40. So that's just has to be clear. Now, with that

Tripp Kramer:

being said, Of course, if you're severely obese and you're just

Tripp Kramer:

not in any shape whatsoever, then that is going to hurt your

Tripp Kramer:

chances. You're over 230 pounds and you don't take care of your

Tripp Kramer:

grooming or your style, and you just don't look well kept then,

Tripp Kramer:

yeah, that's not going to help. But there's quick little fixes

Tripp Kramer:

you could do that. Obviously, you can't lose weight that fast,

Tripp Kramer:

but you can at least do some grooming and wear some clothes

Tripp Kramer:

that's instantly going to make you look a lot better, and you

Tripp Kramer:

should be working on getting your weight down. You don't need

Tripp Kramer:

to be jacked. I'm telling you that right now. Yes, the muscles

Tripp Kramer:

help, but you don't need it. Okay? So I would say again, you

Tripp Kramer:

want to work on it all, but there's going to be a heavier

Tripp Kramer:

weight with your personality traits. So what does that mean?

Tripp Kramer:

The old saying confidence, women are attracted to it. I mean,

Tripp Kramer:

that's really it in a nutshell. But what does confidence look

Tripp Kramer:

like? So it's confidence, it's charisma, it's path and purpose.

Tripp Kramer:

So if you are a person, even if you're over 40, middle class,

Tripp Kramer:

divorced couple kids, just getting and fixing Ed, whatever

Tripp Kramer:

it may be, you can work on your personality. You can work on

Tripp Kramer:

your charisma and confidence to become an attractive person. And

Tripp Kramer:

the way that you do this is by talking to lots of women. So you

Tripp Kramer:

have to have more experiences with women. I know before this,

Tripp Kramer:

Anne, we were talking about sexual confidence. One of the

Tripp Kramer:

biggest things about sexual confidence, and confidence in

Tripp Kramer:

general, is two things. It's mindset and it's competence.

Tripp Kramer:

That's all it is. Okay? So mindset and competence. So if

Tripp Kramer:

you are competent, meaning you are good at something, whatever

Tripp Kramer:

that is competent, let's say now in socializing or sex, that

Tripp Kramer:

means that you're good at it. How did you get good at it? You

Tripp Kramer:

practiced it. You had experiences with it. You went

Tripp Kramer:

out, you talked to women, you went on dates. You had sexual

Tripp Kramer:

experiences. You had times where you flirted with women. You got

Tripp Kramer:

rejected. You didn't get rejected. You put yourself out

Tripp Kramer:

there enough. You build that competence, you build that skill

Tripp Kramer:

set. But then there's mindset, if you don't like yourself and

Tripp Kramer:

you have low self esteem, and you don't think that you're a

Tripp Kramer:

guy who's worthy of a woman to have sex with or a woman to

Tripp Kramer:

date, then really none of it's going to matter. But it's all

Tripp Kramer:

very interconnected and circular. You don't kind of sit

Tripp Kramer:

at home and build self esteem. Esteem is built through the act

Tripp Kramer:

of doing, being competent in whatever area that you're trying

Tripp Kramer:

to be competent in. And also, self esteem is built by keeping

Tripp Kramer:

the promises that you make to yourself. So if you're always

Tripp Kramer:

working on something and you have goals, whether it's in your

Tripp Kramer:

career or your hobbies or just hanging out with friends and and

Tripp Kramer:

making friends and being around people, and going to the gym and

Tripp Kramer:

saying that you're going to do something and you're going to do

Tripp Kramer:

it, and you're going to follow through little by little, like a

Tripp Kramer:

house that's being built, every little brick makes you feel

Tripp Kramer:

better about who you are. Okay? So now I'm feeling better about

Tripp Kramer:

who I am because I'm working on myself. I'm going to the gym,

Tripp Kramer:

I'm putting on new clothes, I'm approaching some women, I'm

Tripp Kramer:

trying new things. I'm trying new hobbies. Little by little,

Tripp Kramer:

you start to feel more worthy. And it's this awesome snowball

Tripp Kramer:

effect where then you like yourself, you start to feel

Tripp Kramer:

deserving of having an amazing woman. You start to act like

Tripp Kramer:

that when you're talking to women, when you're being sexual

Tripp Kramer:

with them, when you're in the bedroom with them. And and it's

Tripp Kramer:

this kind of slow process that you build yourself up to be that

Tripp Kramer:

person, even if you're don't have a six pack, even if you're

Tripp Kramer:

not super rich, even if you're a guy who's fresh out of a

Tripp Kramer:

divorce. So no, it's not instant. That's not how life

Tripp Kramer:

works. Nothing in this world is but it says not this feat where

Tripp Kramer:

you have to be making several six figures a year and have an

Anne Truong:

I love that. And when you said sexual confidence

Anne Truong:

eight pack.

Anne Truong:

comes from mindset and competence, what is the mindset

Anne Truong:

you're thinking about? Like, what type of thought that he

Anne Truong:

needs to making affirmation in his mind? Is this something that

Anne Truong:

an affirmation he needs to do every day or is it a routine?

Anne Truong:

Because mindset sometimes is a little like a big term. What

Anne Truong:

does that mean? Mindset? So can you dive into that?

Tripp Kramer:

Yep, I have a few mindsets for you. I think that

Tripp Kramer:

one of the biggest ones is confidence is not perfection,

Tripp Kramer:

and you, combined with that, is progress is more important than

Tripp Kramer:

perfection. So this is what stops us from taking action. I

Tripp Kramer:

still deal with this on a daily basis, and then I snap myself

Tripp Kramer:

out of it, because I come back to the mindset we're human and

Tripp Kramer:

we don't want to make mistakes or errors, and because of that,

Tripp Kramer:

it can prevent us from taking action because we're too scared

Tripp Kramer:

to make mistakes. You're going to make mistakes, and you have

Tripp Kramer:

to make mistakes. That is the toll that you have to pay in

Tripp Kramer:

order to get better at something. So you have to

Tripp Kramer:

understand that you're not going to be going and having amazing

Tripp Kramer:

first dates, amazing sexual experiences, amazing approaches,

Tripp Kramer:

amazing times in the gym, amazing times at your work, all

Tripp Kramer:

the time. That's not life. Life is actually more so filled with

Tripp Kramer:

a lot of errors and rejection and problems. And I don't say

Tripp Kramer:

that in a negative or pessimistic way. It's just what

Tripp Kramer:

has to happen to get to the points where then you've

Tripp Kramer:

accomplished something and then you feel amazing. Otherwise

Tripp Kramer:

everything would be easy. You know, everyone would just have

Tripp Kramer:

everything all the time. So you have to have that mindset and

Tripp Kramer:

remember that if you want to make that real quick and to the

Tripp Kramer:

point you could just remember progress is more important than

Tripp Kramer:

perfection, and you'll never reach that. And that's okay,

Tripp Kramer:

because it's never about perfection, it's about progress.

Tripp Kramer:

So that's one of my biggest ones. I like to tell people any

Tripp Kramer:

thoughts on that, because I got another one for you.

Anne Truong:

That makes sense. It's like I play tennis. You

Anne Truong:

want to get better at your skills and strokes, tou got to

Anne Truong:

go out there and practice, practice, practice, practice.

Tripp Kramer:

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Here's a motivational

Tripp Kramer:

mindset. So it helps motivate you, and it's a mindset that is

Tripp Kramer:

going to help you take more action and try to be a better

Tripp Kramer:

person every day. This was taught to me over 15 years ago

Tripp Kramer:

by a mentor of mine. He said to me, successful people do what

Tripp Kramer:

unsuccessful people are unwilling to do. What that means

Tripp Kramer:

is there's a lot of people in this world who won't do the hard

Tripp Kramer:

thing or go the extra mile, and they just won't succeed. But the

Tripp Kramer:

people, all the people who've been successful, and I don't

Tripp Kramer:

mean Elon Musk, Trump, whoever the most successful people in

Tripp Kramer:

the world, whoever you see that is, I don't mean you have to be

Tripp Kramer:

to that degree, but just your everyday person who is being

Tripp Kramer:

successful or moving forward or building something is doing

Tripp Kramer:

actions and taking actions that other people aren't. So you have

Tripp Kramer:

to do those actions. So for example, let's say going to the

Tripp Kramer:

gym, your schedule is really hard. Got to get to work by

Tripp Kramer:

nine, and you're exhausted after six when you get home. Well,

Tripp Kramer:

what is a successful person going to do? It's going to

Tripp Kramer:

figure it out, it's going to go to he's going to go work out a

Tripp Kramer:

lunch, it's going to wake up super early. Maybe you don't

Tripp Kramer:

want to do that. Maybe that sucks and that's painful for

Tripp Kramer:

you. But successful people do what unsuccessful people are

Tripp Kramer:

unwilling to do. Let's talk about dating, going out,

Tripp Kramer:

approaching women, getting rejected. Affected. Maybe you're

Tripp Kramer:

45 years old and you go, wow, that seems silly. I gotta go out

Tripp Kramer:

and approach women. I gotta go to a bar, or I gotta go to a

Tripp Kramer:

crowded area during the day where people are shopping. Do I

Tripp Kramer:

really have to do this? No, you don't have to. But the people

Tripp Kramer:

who are unsuccessful are not going to do that. But if you're

Tripp Kramer:

willing to do that, the thing that seems a little ridiculous,

Tripp Kramer:

a little bit hard, you're going to see results in that area. I

Tripp Kramer:

would almost say this is another way of saying success lies

Tripp Kramer:

outside of your comfort zone. But that saying is a little old

Tripp Kramer:

now, and I like the one that that I've been using, because

Tripp Kramer:

there's something motivational in there. And I think men can

Tripp Kramer:

really attach to that idea of, like, yeah, I want to be

Tripp Kramer:

successful, so I'm going to do the things that most people are

Tripp Kramer:

not willing to do. Let's go.

Anne Truong:

I love that. It's almost like the analogy you, a

Anne Truong:

lot of things you say, it's almost like aligned with

Anne Truong:

entrepreneurship, and with any goal, entrepreneurship and goal

Anne Truong:

is persistence and consistency and keep moving. I wouldn't say

Anne Truong:

fail. We did not succeed. I never thought about kind of

Anne Truong:

dating in that sense. It definitely opened up some new

Anne Truong:

frontier for me just listening to what you're saying. But I

Anne Truong:

want to kind of what you were talking about, physical and

Anne Truong:

personality. Is there a research and shows, I mean, initially,

Anne Truong:

before we meet somebody, there's definitely a physical thing,

Anne Truong:

because we judge what we see. Our mind processes what we see,

Anne Truong:

what we hear, and everything. So there's this definitely physical

Anne Truong:

trait that is the first impression before you start

Anne Truong:

reading somebody. So is there research that shows how long

Anne Truong:

that takes? Like, let's say, a man approaches a woman. How long

Anne Truong:

does that take us? She looks at him, she's assessing his

Anne Truong:

physical physique, how he carries himself, his hygiene,

Anne Truong:

what he wears and so forth. How long does it take the

Anne Truong:

personality kind of override the physical attribute?

Tripp Kramer:

Well, here's what happens. It's pretty much

Tripp Kramer:

instantaneously. So it doesn't take too long for man or woman

Tripp Kramer:

to assess physically, whether or not they find the person

Tripp Kramer:

attractive and even to the degree of, would I sleep with

Tripp Kramer:

this person? Now for a man, it happens a lot quicker. For a

Tripp Kramer:

woman, she may say, I want to see I would sleep with this guy,

Tripp Kramer:

but women will not sleep with a man that fast as a man would

Tripp Kramer:

with a woman, because she has to think about safety, that's a

Tripp Kramer:

whole other thing. But to answer your question, yeah, it happens

Tripp Kramer:

instantaneously. From all that I've I've researched, however,

Tripp Kramer:

when it comes down to your personality, it actually makes

Tripp Kramer:

you more attractive physically. What I mean is, if you ever

Tripp Kramer:

heard a woman say, I don't know what it is about this guy, I

Tripp Kramer:

like him, but he's not really my type. He's not the kind of guy I

Tripp Kramer:

would go for, like, straight up that line. He's not the kind of

Tripp Kramer:

guy that I go for, but I like him. What may happen is you go

Tripp Kramer:

up to a woman and, by the way, make or break, you can go up to

Tripp Kramer:

a woman and she would be like, I would sleep with this guy. I'm

Tripp Kramer:

attracted to him. But then you open your mouth and you're

Tripp Kramer:

creepy, you're not confident, you're kind of weird, you're not

Tripp Kramer:

giving good eye contact, you're not being playful and funny. All

Tripp Kramer:

those things can hurt your now ability to then have sex with

Tripp Kramer:

this woman, go on a date with this woman. So when you are

Tripp Kramer:

approaching a woman, or when you're on a date with a woman,

Tripp Kramer:

and she doesn't find you that physically attractive once she

Tripp Kramer:

sees more of those leadership qualities, charisma, confidence,

Tripp Kramer:

decisiveness, those masculine traits, holding eye contact,

Tripp Kramer:

speaking well, showing your intellect, showing that you have

Tripp Kramer:

a life that you care about, that you're passionate about, and

Tripp Kramer:

desire. And yes, I know that's a lot. It's like, well, how do you

Tripp Kramer:

show all that within two minutes? I mean, you don't, you

Tripp Kramer:

start to roll it out, but the way that you speak to a woman,

Tripp Kramer:

at least in the very beginning, you can start to get this kind

Tripp Kramer:

of, like sales, kind of like marketing, you were saying, it

Tripp Kramer:

can start to persuade a little bit, because now she's getting

Tripp Kramer:

this whole other side of you, because now she's taking in more

Tripp Kramer:

than just visual. You were saying what happens visually?

Tripp Kramer:

But there's more. There's other senses that women are picking up

Tripp Kramer:

on, from what she hears, from what she even what down to what

Tripp Kramer:

she smells. That's why people wear cologne. And there's such

Tripp Kramer:

thing as pheromones. And also, not just seeing what you look

Tripp Kramer:

like, but seeing how you act. If you go up to a woman, you're not

Tripp Kramer:

giving your eye contact, and you're kind of tight body

Tripp Kramer:

language, and you're showing really shy, or you're really

Tripp Kramer:

monotone, and you're talking like this, and you don't have

Tripp Kramer:

that kind of charismatic vibe to you in the way that you're

Tripp Kramer:

speaking with your tone. She's going to see that. She's going

Tripp Kramer:

to hear that. And that can hurt your chances or make your

Tripp Kramer:

chances again. It might sound overwhelming to a guy who's

Tripp Kramer:

listening to this, while that sounds like a lot, sounds like a

Tripp Kramer:

lot of work, a lot of this can become second nature, and a lot

Tripp Kramer:

of men already have this. Most of us know how to talk, how to

Tripp Kramer:

speak. Most of us have intellect. It's just the

Tripp Kramer:

nervousness that you feel when you're talking to a woman you're

Tripp Kramer:

attracted to and you're scared of rejection, starts to damper

Tripp Kramer:

some of those personality traits, and it makes it harder.

Tripp Kramer:

So then what you need. To do. Circling back to what I said

Tripp Kramer:

earlier on this call, is you need to practice. Have

Tripp Kramer:

conversations, go out, talk to women you're attracted to

Tripp Kramer:

practice that approach. Go on the dates, so that you can get

Tripp Kramer:

better at this and become more comfortable with it over time,

Tripp Kramer:

so it's not as challenging as I thought it was when I was

Tripp Kramer:

learning this stuff. I mean, my quick background on me is I was

Tripp Kramer:

a very shy guy. I had a little bit of a fun personality, but I

Tripp Kramer:

didn't really know how to show it. I dampered myself. I chained

Tripp Kramer:

myself because I didn't want to get rejected or as fearing what

Tripp Kramer:

people would think of me. And then over time, I started to

Tripp Kramer:

care less, and that made me become more charismatic over

Tripp Kramer:

time, with years of practice and coming out of my shell, so it is

Tripp Kramer:

possible for many men.

Anne Truong:

Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't

Anne Truong:

have to suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and

Anne Truong:

even defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the

Anne Truong:

weight of not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But

Anne Truong:

here's the truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You

Anne Truong:

don't have to figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now

Anne Truong:

Boost Program is your step by step, path to sexual confidence

Anne Truong:

and restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more

Anne Truong:

trial and error, just real solution, real result and the

Anne Truong:

confidence you deserve. It's time to take back your power on

Anne Truong:

your term. Let's get this journey started together. Check

Anne Truong:

out the course at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you

Anne Truong:

there.

Anne Truong:

So from what I hear, and I hear this a lot, is charisma is

Anne Truong:

learned. You're not born with it. Charisma is something that

Anne Truong:

you've learned, but you have to practice and then get confidence

Anne Truong:

with it. And I'm just going to hit it right on the point how

Anne Truong:

much of sexual performance is to a man at this point. I've heard

Anne Truong:

saying from my patient, from friends, that, hey, if I'm not

Anne Truong:

performing the bedroom, I'm not a man at all. And so let's say

Anne Truong:

he's not at his best, optimal performance in the bedroom. How

Anne Truong:

can he compensate for that in his personality or in his

Anne Truong:

relationship or dating?

Tripp Kramer:

It really goes down to the same formula as I

Tripp Kramer:

was talking about. You can't really just have sexual

Tripp Kramer:

confidence by thinking about it. Obviously, there's gonna be

Tripp Kramer:

things that help you, help with that, with erectile dysfunction,

Tripp Kramer:

so that is something that you do and can fix on your own. But

Tripp Kramer:

once you have that fixed, or mostly fixed, because think

Tripp Kramer:

about it, right? What are we talking about? Sexual

Tripp Kramer:

confidence, what does that even mean? What does sexual

Tripp Kramer:

confidence look like? Okay, I would imagine it looks like a

Tripp Kramer:

guy being with a woman feeling fully comfortable that he's

Tripp Kramer:

going to be able to please her and be more inhibited in the

Tripp Kramer:

bedroom. Now, that stuff isn't really challenging to do. So

Tripp Kramer:

where is this lack of confidence coming from? It's just coming

Tripp Kramer:

from up here. That's all it is. So you're not going to convince

Tripp Kramer:

yourself in a room alone or by watching porn on a screen that

Tripp Kramer:

you can be good in the bed. You have to be with women. That's

Tripp Kramer:

how you build sexual confidence. You have to be with women,

Tripp Kramer:

sexually. You have to be sleeping with women. You have to

Tripp Kramer:

have sexual experiences, because I promise you, even just a

Tripp Kramer:

couple, you might be a Casanova, sleeping with a new girl every

Tripp Kramer:

week, even having a few positive experiences, or at least

Tripp Kramer:

learning from some experiences, and learning your body when it's

Tripp Kramer:

with another woman, is going to start to give you a new mindset,

Tripp Kramer:

right? It's going to help you with how you're acting with a

Tripp Kramer:

woman the next time you see them. So a lot of it starts with

Tripp Kramer:

some of the things that you do, and with fixing erectile

Tripp Kramer:

dysfunction. And a lot of it has to do with what I teach with,

Tripp Kramer:

Okay, well, before you have sex, you have to what meet women, go

Tripp Kramer:

on dates, approach online dating, do all those things so I

Tripp Kramer:

wouldn't even concern yourself right now with sexual confidence

Tripp Kramer:

and having that. I would rather a guy work on meeting a lot of

Tripp Kramer:

women, having a lot of volume, working on some charismatic

Tripp Kramer:

traits, getting rejected, a bunch going on dates where some

Tripp Kramer:

go well, some don't, and then trying to pursue women sexually

Tripp Kramer:

and seeing what happens from there, and then you can see how

Tripp Kramer:

your sexual confidence is there. It's like, we don't want to put

Tripp Kramer:

the cart before the horse, or else you're just going to go

Tripp Kramer:

insane and be so overwhelmed that none of this is going to

Tripp Kramer:

happen. So don't connect your sexual confidence to your

Tripp Kramer:

confidence with going and talking to a woman. Yeah,

Tripp Kramer:

they're intertwined, but one thing at a time, get to the

Tripp Kramer:

point where you can have even even a chance where you are

Tripp Kramer:

going to sleep with the woman. Once we have many of those

Tripp Kramer:

chances, good, now we can work on more sexual confidence. I do

Tripp Kramer:

the same thing when men are approaching women, you know,

Tripp Kramer:

they go, oh, there's a girl over there. Like, what do I do? I

Tripp Kramer:

gotta do all these things. I gotta flirt. I gotta give good.

Tripp Kramer:

Eye contact. I have a whole list. I'm going crazy. I can't

Tripp Kramer:

do this. I'm not going to approach you're getting ahead of

Tripp Kramer:

yourself here. Why not just go out one day and wave hello to 10

Tripp Kramer:

different women. Because if you can't do that, then nothing's

Tripp Kramer:

going to work. Now, to connect everything in my little

Tripp Kramer:

ecosystem here, I don't want to go talk to women and say hi to

Tripp Kramer:

10. That's weird trip. You don't have to. But guess what

Tripp Kramer:

successful people do? What unsuccessful people are

Tripp Kramer:

unwilling to do? So it's all kind of connected. There baby

Tripp Kramer:

steps, and you get to that point, and then you see, I don't

Tripp Kramer:

know, maybe you think you don't have sexual confidence, and all

Tripp Kramer:

of a sudden, you're with a woman, you guys are getting

Tripp Kramer:

sexual. She's really into you. And all of a sudden you just

Tripp Kramer:

have it, because it's primal, and you think that you are going

Tripp Kramer:

to mess up in the bedroom, and you were just a rock star. How

Tripp Kramer:

do you know? You're just guessing. You're making up

Tripp Kramer:

little thoughts and stories in your head. Okay, maybe that

Tripp Kramer:

doesn't happen. You're with the woman. You can't get it up.

Tripp Kramer:

Didn't go really well, but then she doesn't really care, because

Tripp Kramer:

you're good at going down on her, and then that helps a

Tripp Kramer:

little bit. We don't want to solve problems we don't have

Tripp Kramer:

yet. You don't know you have a problem until you take action.

Anne Truong:

Oh, I love that. I love that. And I see that all

Tripp Kramer:

I think what you're saying here, it connects

Tripp Kramer:

the time. Is that when I'm working with men with ED and

Tripp Kramer:

even though they get better, even after treatment, they're

Tripp Kramer:

still fixated on, Oh my god, I gotta be rock hard, ready to go

Tripp Kramer:

in five minutes. And I'm not. Then I'm not the man that I used

Tripp Kramer:

to be. And arousal takes time. Sometimes you gotta let your

Tripp Kramer:

body be prepared. And if you're with a partner and you're

Tripp Kramer:

attracted to her, she's attracted to you. That, in

Tripp Kramer:

itself, is actually an initiator of the erection response. The

Tripp Kramer:

brain is the largest sexual organ for men and for women, and

Tripp Kramer:

we oftentimes focus on our sexual organ instead of up here,

Tripp Kramer:

because if nothing goes on up here in the brain, nothing's

Tripp Kramer:

going to be initiated below the belt. And there are three steps

Tripp Kramer:

that need to happen in the brain, first, before even it

Tripp Kramer:

goes down the nerve to go down to your sexual organs. Like the

Tripp Kramer:

senses. Your senses need to be aroused, like what you see, what

Tripp Kramer:

you smell, what you taste, what you hear and touch. All those

Tripp Kramer:

senses occur during dating sexual encounter, right? But

Tripp Kramer:

then that gets processed in your emotional state, meaning, if

Tripp Kramer:

you're fearful, if you're distressed, that kind of dampen

Tripp Kramer:

down that senses that feed into it, and then that gets processed

Tripp Kramer:

also in the brain, in the hormones. Different hormones

Tripp Kramer:

need to be released as well in the brain before the initiation

Tripp Kramer:

go down the nerve, down the chain to stimulate your heart,

Tripp Kramer:

to get more blood flow, and then more blood flow go down to the

Tripp Kramer:

sexual organ, but three steps need to occur in the brain. But

Tripp Kramer:

if your mindset is not in a right state, that will dampen

Tripp Kramer:

that fire and it's not going to go past it. And I see men is

Tripp Kramer:

that they're not focusing on the mindset. I always tell them,

Tripp Kramer:

like, just relax. Don't focus on performance. Enjoy the moment.

Tripp Kramer:

Enjoy your senses. Get into it, and then don't think about, Oh

Tripp Kramer:

my god, am I gonna get it up this time? Am I gonna be able to

Tripp Kramer:

perform or not? Because the more you think about it, guess what,

Tripp Kramer:

to exactly what I'm saying. What we're talking about is this the

Tripp Kramer:

it's not gonna happen, right? It's almost like

Tripp Kramer:

counterintuitive, like, the more you think about it, is not going

Tripp Kramer:

to happen, but that's the way our body is made is that it's

Tripp Kramer:

all in sometimes, what thoughts that you put in your mind that

Tripp Kramer:

allows you to be able to have the function that you want. So

Tripp Kramer:

it's exactly what you were saying, even about dating as

Tripp Kramer:

well, too. Because I can tell you, the mind is so powerful

Tripp Kramer:

that men that are paralyzed from the neck down can't feel

Tripp Kramer:

anything, can still get an erection because of the power of

Tripp Kramer:

the mind. As the power of the mind is that powerful.

Tripp Kramer:

art of being present and doing that's everything. Because,

Tripp Kramer:

yeah, the more present you are, the less thinking you're doing,

Tripp Kramer:

and the more that you'll be able to tap into your body sexually,

Tripp Kramer:

the more that you'll be able to just go out, talk to women,

Tripp Kramer:

date. This isn't tennis, in a sense. This is not sailing. This

Tripp Kramer:

isn't a technical skill. This is Your body knows how to do all

Tripp Kramer:

these things. You know how to talk, you know how to converse

Tripp Kramer:

with people, and then you know how to have sex, even if you've

Tripp Kramer:

never had it before, you know how to do it. You just know how

Tripp Kramer:

to do all these things that we're talking about, but in

Tripp Kramer:

order to do them, it's more about getting out of your head

Tripp Kramer:

and staying in the moment and just doing the thing that you

Tripp Kramer:

need to do, so, not listening to your thoughts, letting your

Tripp Kramer:

thoughts wash through you. A lot of this is also Buddhist

Tripp Kramer:

practices. If you read the book, The Power of Now, this helps

Tripp Kramer:

tremendously. I recommend that book to anyone who's trying to

Tripp Kramer:

learn how to be more present and stay in the moment. But like

Tripp Kramer:

Anne saying, being present, like I'm saying, taking action all

Tripp Kramer:

that together. Other would be like step one, and then you see

Tripp Kramer:

what happens.

Anne Truong:

That's right, start with step one and see what

Anne Truong:

happens. And I tell men, act as if you're in the playground. Get

Anne Truong:

there and see how you feel, and decide whether you want to do

Anne Truong:

the swing, the slide, the monkey bars, or what. Just being

Anne Truong:

present. Because amazingly, that works. That works. I mean, I saw

Anne Truong:

many, many men that would say, Well, yesterday I had the best

Anne Truong:

sex. We went on for an hour and a half. You know, last week,

Anne Truong:

couldn't get it up. The week before was partial. You like,

Anne Truong:

What the heck is going on? And that kind of tap into the

Anne Truong:

presence I was, like, maybe his mindset. Having said that, I

Anne Truong:

really enjoy our conversation today. I learned quite a few bit

Anne Truong:

of stuff, and it's almost feel like, Oh my god, seems like the

Anne Truong:

guy have to do a lot to kind of attract women. Is that the case?

Anne Truong:

If I were a man, I'll be like, Oh my goodness, what I need to

Anne Truong:

do? What are your thoughts?

Tripp Kramer:

In terms of what next steps of exactly what to

Tripp Kramer:

do? So, like, you just listened to this episode, and now you're

Tripp Kramer:

going, where do I begin? So I'll give you a homework, and I'm

Tripp Kramer:

going to make it very easy for you. You're going to take one

Tripp Kramer:

hour this week, whatever works for you, and you're going to go

Tripp Kramer:

out and we're going to say hi to 10 people, men, women, doesn't

Tripp Kramer:

matter. Over 18, obviously, do that, step one. Step two, you're

Tripp Kramer:

going to call up and find or email a photographer in your

Tripp Kramer:

area, and you're going to get pictures of yourself for your

Tripp Kramer:

online dating profile. Okay, I want you to be I'm very clear

Tripp Kramer:

how these steps are. I didn't say start an online dating app

Tripp Kramer:

profile, I said, hire a photographer. That's step two,

Tripp Kramer:

get pictures done that are just various pictures, the

Tripp Kramer:

photographer will know what to do. That's going to be the best

Tripp Kramer:

step to getting more matches online. I'm going to stop there,

Tripp Kramer:

because that's a lot right there for people. Do that. Just do

Tripp Kramer:

that. If you can do that, you've already done more than probably

Tripp Kramer:

90% of guys.

Anne Truong:

Why professional professional photographer

Anne Truong:

instead of using your phone and do selfies?

Tripp Kramer:

Selfies. They've done studies on selfies. They

Tripp Kramer:

don't get enough matches, because the angle in which

Tripp Kramer:

you're taking a selfie is not attractive. You can't, I mean,

Tripp Kramer:

you could, but most people don't know how to do it. The most

Tripp Kramer:

attractive angle, which I can go into detail. But again, you

Tripp Kramer:

don't need to know this, the photographer should know this,

Tripp Kramer:

is really no closer than a medium shot from the stomach,

Tripp Kramer:

belly button up with a slowly tilted head down so you're not

Tripp Kramer:

like your neck isn't up like this, but just below parallel, I

Tripp Kramer:

should say just a little bit down, and then a slight smile

Tripp Kramer:

with a very, very, it's called a squinch. A very slight squint in

Tripp Kramer:

your eyes, very slight. So that's going to be the most

Tripp Kramer:

attractive. And you can't really get that on a selfie. For those

Tripp Kramer:

of just listening. I'm holding my phone. I'm putting it up to

Tripp Kramer:

myself, because you won't get that angle. No one takes a good

Tripp Kramer:

selfie.

Anne Truong:

It's not that expensive to get a professional

Anne Truong:

photographer for a few shots.

Tripp Kramer:

Spend the money. I mean, how important is it to you

Tripp Kramer:

to get, if this is a priority for you, and you want to really

Tripp Kramer:

get a lot of matches and you want to meet women, then spend

Tripp Kramer:

the money. Use a credit card, go into debt, get a loan, I don't

Tripp Kramer:

know, your house savings, take a little bit more out. I mean, if

Tripp Kramer:

it's not a priority for you, then yeah, I guess go as cheap

Tripp Kramer:

as you can. But if it is, do it right, spend the money. It's

Tripp Kramer:

worth the investment, because it's going to get you results,

Tripp Kramer:

and then you're going to be super happy that you did it.

Anne Truong:

When you say, hi, is it just a wave? Wave, or is

Anne Truong:

it kind of like, Hey, I'm Tripp. How are you? Is it coming over,

Anne Truong:

shaking hands, starting conversation? What is that?

Tripp Kramer:

Good question? Yeah, so let's get more

Tripp Kramer:

specific. Loking and giving eye contact and just saying hello.

Tripp Kramer:

That's it. And walking past them, little wave, hand in the

Tripp Kramer:

air. Hello, eye contact. Walk away.

Anne Truong:

Yeah, love it. Love that. And it's simple, you can

Anne Truong:

do this. Men, you can do this. And the law of attraction has

Anne Truong:

not changed. Thousands of years, it's still the same, whether

Anne Truong:

caveman days or nowadays. But then with the women empowerment,

Anne Truong:

the waters are a little bit tougher, but it's still the

Anne Truong:

same. So having said that, I know that you run Tripp Advice,

Anne Truong:

tell us about what you do and how men can work with you.

Tripp Kramer:

Absolutely. So we have a whole coaching team over

Tripp Kramer:

here at Tripp Advice. We specialize in helping men,

Tripp Kramer:

especially men over 30, with dating, meeting women,

Tripp Kramer:

attraction, online dating, approaching, basically any kind

Tripp Kramer:

of guy who's looking to get more dates. We work with all ages.

Tripp Kramer:

We've even worked with people, guys up to 70 years old. But we

Tripp Kramer:

work with men who are ready to make changes in their dating

Tripp Kramer:

lives. There is no shortcuts in life, but I'll say working with

Tripp Kramer:

us is like a shortcut, because you just don't have to do too

Tripp Kramer:

much trial and error. So we can cut to exactly what needs to be

Tripp Kramer:

done to be able to get you the volume, be more attractive, get

Tripp Kramer:

more dates, have more experiences. And this is for

Tripp Kramer:

guys who are either looking for just hey, I want to have fun and

Tripp Kramer:

have sexual experiences, or for guys who are like, No, I want a

Tripp Kramer:

girlfriend, I want a wife, I want to settle down, I want to

Tripp Kramer:

do something like that. So we help in all those areas, and we

Tripp Kramer:

guide you and tell you exactly what to do. We call it the Tripp

Tripp Kramer:

Advice Accelerator Program. So if you're interested in learning

Tripp Kramer:

more about that, we do free calls. You can book a free call

Tripp Kramer:

with us at trippadvicecoaching com. And trip is with two P's.

Anne Truong:

Akay. And I myself work with Tripp and his team

Anne Truong:

also help us with our men in getting sexual restoration as

Anne Truong:

well, too. And so check out his website. We'll put that in the

Anne Truong:

link in the description. And having said that, I hope Modern

Anne Truong:

Man that you find this valuable and just know that you are not

Anne Truong:

alone. There are resources out there, and do not have to suffer

Anne Truong:

in silence. There are help. Check Tripp out, check our

Anne Truong:

program out, and our coaching program as well at noedman.com

Anne Truong:

and we'll see you in the next episode. Thank you Tripp for

Anne Truong:

being with us today.

Tripp Kramer:

Thank you, Dr. Anne, appreciate your time.

Anne Truong:

Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't

Anne Truong:

have to suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and

Anne Truong:

even defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the

Anne Truong:

weight of not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But

Anne Truong:

here's the truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You

Anne Truong:

don't have to figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now

Anne Truong:

Boost Program is your step by step, path to sexual confidence

Anne Truong:

and restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more

Anne Truong:

trial and error, just real solution, real result and the

Anne Truong:

confidence you deserve. It's time to take back your power on

Anne Truong:

your term. Let's get this journey started together. Check

Anne Truong:

out the course at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you

Anne Truong:

there.

Anne Truong:

Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men Podcast.

Anne Truong:

If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your

Anne Truong:

phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you post,

Anne Truong:

and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode

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