Are you a modern man struggling to navigate the confusing world of dating, especially with the added challenge of erectile dysfunction? You’re not alone, and the dating game has changed more than you think.
In this podcast episode, I sit with Tripp Kramer to dive into the truths most men aren't talking about. We explore how Tripp Advice is helping men just like you regain their confidence, rebuild attraction, and take control of their love lives.
Don’t miss out on this eye-opening conversation. Tune in now because your next breakthrough could be one listen away.
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About Tripp Kramer
Tripp Kramer is a globally recognized dating coach who has been helping men confidently attract the kind of women they truly desire since 2009. With nearly 1 million YouTube subscribers and a hit podcast, How To Talk To Girls, boasting over 55,000 weekly downloads, he’s become a trusted voice for men looking to level up their dating lives—without the gimmicks.
But it wasn’t always that way. Tripp started off as the classic “nice guy,” believing that treating women like royalty was the key to winning their hearts. After learning the hard way that authenticity beats people-pleasing, he’s dedicated his career to helping shy, introverted, or confused guys stop pretending—and start attracting through genuine confidence.
Want to connect with Tripp and explore more of his insights?
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This podcast is for you, the Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne
Anne Truong:Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor
Anne Truong:and best selling author of the book, Erectile Dysfunction Fix.
Anne Truong:I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how
Anne Truong:it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get
Anne Truong:started, and be sure to visit my website at
Anne Truong:sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and
Anne Truong:resources from the show. See you on the inside.
Anne Truong:Hello there, Modern Man. In this episode, we have Tripp Kramer,
Anne Truong:who is the owner of Tripp Advice, and he is an expert in
Anne Truong:dating advice for men. And I am so glad that he's here with us,
Anne Truong:because we're going to find all sorts of nuggets about gow to
Anne Truong:have sexual magnetism for the opposite sex. So, welcome Tripp.
Tripp Kramer:Thanks. Dr. Anne, I appreciate being here and
Tripp Kramer:excited to help out your audience so thank you for having
Tripp Kramer:me.
Anne Truong:Well, I'm looking forward to our episode, because
Anne Truong:I'm just gonna dive into it. And you're in the world of dating,
Anne Truong:which is a very complex world. And so what are the common
Anne Truong:problem or challenges that you face with men, with dating in
Anne Truong:2025 at this point?
Tripp Kramer:Yeah, in 2025 there's a lot. I'd say, in no
Tripp Kramer:particular order. You would say right now men just don't really
Tripp Kramer:know how to act with women. They're just a little bit lost
Tripp Kramer:because women want very masculine guys, but women have
Tripp Kramer:become more masculine over the past 30, 40, years. Men are a
Tripp Kramer:little bit more turned off by the fact that women are saying
Tripp Kramer:that they don't need a man and that women are really trying to
Tripp Kramer:make a life for themselves that doesn't necessarily need a man
Tripp Kramer:like we did in 50, 60, 70, years ago. And so there's this kind of
Tripp Kramer:gender war going on between men and women that's making it
Tripp Kramer:harder for everyone to get together and respect each other,
Tripp Kramer:and so men just don't really know what to do. Meanwhile,
Tripp Kramer:they're trying to do online dating, because that's so easy
Tripp Kramer:to just do on your phone, but online dating is very
Tripp Kramer:challenging to meet women on there, and then if they want to
Tripp Kramer:meet women in person, it's confusing. They don't know what
Tripp Kramer:to do because of the "ME TOO" movement, and women saying
Tripp Kramer:online that it's creepy when guys approach, but then they
Tripp Kramer:also say that they do want them to approach, and why men
Tripp Kramer:approaching anymore. So a lot of mixed signals coming in from
Tripp Kramer:women, from society, from the internet, and they're just a
Tripp Kramer:little bit lost, more lost than they ever have been, I would
Tripp Kramer:say, over 10 years ago, it was very simple. It was just, yeah,
Tripp Kramer:I'm a little bit nervous to talk to women, and I don't know how
Tripp Kramer:to flirt. That was really the only issues. Now we've stacked
Tripp Kramer:it all, and it's become challenging to be able to meet
Tripp Kramer:women in this modern world. So that's what we're dealing with
Tripp Kramer:right now.
Anne Truong:Wow. That is very, very interesting. And I actually
Anne Truong:do see that at this point, and it's even more challenging,
Anne Truong:particularly in the population. I work with older men over 50,
Anne Truong:let's say divorce or widow, lost his partner, now back in the
Anne Truong:dating world, and starting to see the challenges now and
Anne Truong:trying to navigate that. So how do you advise men to navigate
Anne Truong:this tough water right now?
Tripp Kramer:Keep it simple. Everything with this, because
Tripp Kramer:it's so complicated, has to be simplified. So we need to go to
Tripp Kramer:the very basics of what attraction is. Attraction has
Tripp Kramer:not changed. So that's what men have to understand. Women have
Tripp Kramer:to understand that too. We're talking to men right now,
Tripp Kramer:attraction has not changed. Women are attracted to a
Tripp Kramer:specific set of traits from men. That's just how it is. It's
Tripp Kramer:primal, so we have to tap into those traits, and that is what's
Tripp Kramer:going to help with building attraction with women. I'm just
Tripp Kramer:kind of giving you a very bird's eye view of it all. But then the
Tripp Kramer:second problem is, okay, great. I understand how to attract
Tripp Kramer:women and flirt, and I understand the male and female
Tripp Kramer:dynamics, but how do I meet women? That's the other part,
Tripp Kramer:because online dating isn't working for me, or I have
Tripp Kramer:approach anxiety, or whatever complaints men have right now
Tripp Kramer:about meeting women in 2025 it's all about volume. It's all about
Tripp Kramer:volume, which means that you have to be getting lots of
Tripp Kramer:chances at bat to a have a chance to see if a woman's going
Tripp Kramer:to be attracted to you, because they have a lot of options today
Tripp Kramer:or. B find someone who you are attracted to, because it's
Tripp Kramer:important to know who you're going to like as well. So in
Tripp Kramer:order to do that, we need volume. So we need to do
Tripp Kramer:everything. I am not anti approaching I'm not anti online
Tripp Kramer:dating. I'm not anti anyway of meeting women. My whole theory
Tripp Kramer:is you have to give yourself all the different options possible.
Tripp Kramer:So online approaching, through your social circle, through
Tripp Kramer:events, meetups and single events, whatever you can find in
Tripp Kramer:your city, all of it, all the above, and then maximize the
Tripp Kramer:output of all those different things. For example, you want to
Tripp Kramer:be swiping at least an hour a day. You want to be approaching
Tripp Kramer:women at least a couple times per week, at least. And the more
Tripp Kramer:and more you do that, what's really cool is you're not going
Tripp Kramer:to just get more chances at bat to meet a woman that you enjoy,
Tripp Kramer:and she enjoys you, but you're also going to get better at the
Tripp Kramer:art of being able to attract a woman, because you can't just
Tripp Kramer:learn any skill from a book and then it's there. You need to
Tripp Kramer:practice it. You need to put it into play.
Anne Truong:Wow, that sounds like marketing. You gotta be out
Anne Truong:there. You gotta create multiple messages on different platforms.
Anne Truong:Like you said, in person, online and at events and social circles
Anne Truong:and volume. And it's very, very interesting. So can you talk
Anne Truong:about the trait that you mentioned earlier? And the
Anne Truong:attraction has not changed. I love that absolutely. Attraction
Anne Truong:has not changed in 2025 or in 1925 or 1825. You're still men,
Anne Truong:you're still women. And there are certain things that women
Anne Truong:are attracted to. So let's dive deep into that. What are those
Anne Truong:traits?
Tripp Kramer:Cool. So we have to break it down to what are
Tripp Kramer:women attracted to in a primal sense. And I did not make this
Tripp Kramer:up. This is from research, real research that has been done,
Tripp Kramer:data that has been collected over several cultures, by the
Tripp Kramer:way, to find out that no matter where you're from or who you
Tripp Kramer:are, if you are a female, then you are going to be attracted to
Tripp Kramer:this set of traits. The set of traits can be categorized as
Tripp Kramer:provider and protector traits. Okay, so provider protector
Tripp Kramer:traits are traits that a man can exhibit that are going to be the
Tripp Kramer:most attractive to women. So obviously you got some that are
Tripp Kramer:money resources. So again, provider protector traits being
Tripp Kramer:able to protect the family and get access to resources. So if
Tripp Kramer:you have money, that's going to help. I know that scares some
Tripp Kramer:guys away, so don't worry. We're going to get into that. I know
Tripp Kramer:not every guy has money, or they even it's very big of how much
Tripp Kramer:money do you really need? We'll get into that. So money
Tripp Kramer:strength, mentally and physically. So someone who can
Tripp Kramer:protect, usually is someone who doesn't have any sort of
Tripp Kramer:emotional issue or disorder, so that they can be around to
Tripp Kramer:again, protect the family. So that's going to also have to do
Tripp Kramer:with your ability to be decisive and to lead and to make
Tripp Kramer:decisions that are going to help the family, as well as just
Tripp Kramer:general common sense and intellect. So all these things
Tripp Kramer:are things that are going to help protect and provide for a
Tripp Kramer:family. Okay? Because it's not that women are necessarily weak,
Tripp Kramer:although they have done studies that the male body generally,
Tripp Kramer:typically is stronger, usually taller. But women get pregnant,
Tripp Kramer:and when they're pregnant, they cannot protect the family, and
Tripp Kramer:they have to be burying the child and taking care of the
Tripp Kramer:child. So that's where this is all coming from. This is based
Tripp Kramer:in, you know, evolutionary theory. So leader, provider,
Tripp Kramer:protector, intellect, social charisma, right? If you're
Tripp Kramer:someone who's well connected and you're good with people, that's
Tripp Kramer:also a sign that you can access resources. So I'd say that's a
Tripp Kramer:majority of it. What I teach here at Tripp Advice is how to
Tripp Kramer:access those without having to be super well connected, like a
Tripp Kramer:celebrity, or super rich or super tall. Do those things
Tripp Kramer:help? Absolutely, if you are super rich, super tall, super
Tripp Kramer:good looking, a celebrity of some sort, you can pretty much
Tripp Kramer:be with most women. Now, a lot of the rhetoric online is that
Tripp Kramer:if you don't have that, then you're just not going to be able
Tripp Kramer:to get anywhere, and it's money, looks and status. If you don't
Tripp Kramer:have that, nothing's going to happen. I'm coming here to tell
Tripp Kramer:you that that is not true. You don't need to have the most
Tripp Kramer:extreme versions of all that. Instead, you just need to
Tripp Kramer:display person. Reality, traits that exhibit that. Now, to be
Tripp Kramer:fair, no you cannot use and tap into these traits and be someone
Tripp Kramer:who is has no path, no purpose. You're completely broke. You're
Tripp Kramer:living at home with your parents. You're not good social
Tripp Kramer:like those things. You have to have a bare minimum, I would say
Tripp Kramer:it's like a spectrum. If you have it all, rich, famous, etc,
Tripp Kramer:you get more options with women. If you're at the bottom, where
Tripp Kramer:you're a loner and you have no money and you have nothing going
Tripp Kramer:on for yourself, I don't know. You're homeless, let's say you
Tripp Kramer:clearly don't have a lot more options with women here. But the
Tripp Kramer:more you can tap into these traits, the more opportunities
Tripp Kramer:you have. Is that clear?
Anne Truong:Yeah, no, that makes sense. It's almost like
Anne Truong:women want to feel a sense of safe and being protected, and
Anne Truong:that is either you're a human or you're a bird, because you want
Anne Truong:to feel protected, because you're going to be pregnant,
Anne Truong:you're gonna have babies that you need to protect, but you
Anne Truong:need somebody to protect you, as well as shelter, physical and
Anne Truong:mental protection. But I like the way that you break that
Anne Truong:down. But the first thing I thought about, well, that's kind
Anne Truong:of big order, a tall order there for men to have financial and
Anne Truong:physical strength, mental strength and social status.
Anne Truong:We're not talking about the movie star. They're movie star
Anne Truong:for a reason. They have this physical attribute. Whether they
Anne Truong:have the personality trait, we don't know. But the physical
Anne Truong:attribute, I'll ask you something about that later. But
Anne Truong:how are average daily men who does not have an eight pack, who
Anne Truong:are in their 50s, who are just now coming out of a divorce.
Anne Truong:They've been married, let's say 25 years. It's out of a divorce.
Anne Truong:Haven't dated in a while, not in the best of shape, middle class
Anne Truong:level. And how does he optimize his chances in dating?
Tripp Kramer:Absolutely so here's the good news, here's
Tripp Kramer:what I found. This is, again, all the common rhetoric
Tripp Kramer:happening right now online. Looks matter, personality
Tripp Kramer:matters a lot more. There's a heavier weight in terms of being
Tripp Kramer:able to provide for the family when you have certain
Tripp Kramer:capabilities in your personality. So yeah, if you're
Tripp Kramer:tall, you're strong, you're lean, you have an eight pack.
Tripp Kramer:Does that help? Yes, but you don't necessarily need that, and
Tripp Kramer:you can make up for that with some of the personality traits
Tripp Kramer:that we can talk and dive into deeper for men who are, you
Tripp Kramer:know, over 40. So that's just has to be clear. Now, with that
Tripp Kramer:being said, Of course, if you're severely obese and you're just
Tripp Kramer:not in any shape whatsoever, then that is going to hurt your
Tripp Kramer:chances. You're over 230 pounds and you don't take care of your
Tripp Kramer:grooming or your style, and you just don't look well kept then,
Tripp Kramer:yeah, that's not going to help. But there's quick little fixes
Tripp Kramer:you could do that. Obviously, you can't lose weight that fast,
Tripp Kramer:but you can at least do some grooming and wear some clothes
Tripp Kramer:that's instantly going to make you look a lot better, and you
Tripp Kramer:should be working on getting your weight down. You don't need
Tripp Kramer:to be jacked. I'm telling you that right now. Yes, the muscles
Tripp Kramer:help, but you don't need it. Okay? So I would say again, you
Tripp Kramer:want to work on it all, but there's going to be a heavier
Tripp Kramer:weight with your personality traits. So what does that mean?
Tripp Kramer:The old saying confidence, women are attracted to it. I mean,
Tripp Kramer:that's really it in a nutshell. But what does confidence look
Tripp Kramer:like? So it's confidence, it's charisma, it's path and purpose.
Tripp Kramer:So if you are a person, even if you're over 40, middle class,
Tripp Kramer:divorced couple kids, just getting and fixing Ed, whatever
Tripp Kramer:it may be, you can work on your personality. You can work on
Tripp Kramer:your charisma and confidence to become an attractive person. And
Tripp Kramer:the way that you do this is by talking to lots of women. So you
Tripp Kramer:have to have more experiences with women. I know before this,
Tripp Kramer:Anne, we were talking about sexual confidence. One of the
Tripp Kramer:biggest things about sexual confidence, and confidence in
Tripp Kramer:general, is two things. It's mindset and it's competence.
Tripp Kramer:That's all it is. Okay? So mindset and competence. So if
Tripp Kramer:you are competent, meaning you are good at something, whatever
Tripp Kramer:that is competent, let's say now in socializing or sex, that
Tripp Kramer:means that you're good at it. How did you get good at it? You
Tripp Kramer:practiced it. You had experiences with it. You went
Tripp Kramer:out, you talked to women, you went on dates. You had sexual
Tripp Kramer:experiences. You had times where you flirted with women. You got
Tripp Kramer:rejected. You didn't get rejected. You put yourself out
Tripp Kramer:there enough. You build that competence, you build that skill
Tripp Kramer:set. But then there's mindset, if you don't like yourself and
Tripp Kramer:you have low self esteem, and you don't think that you're a
Tripp Kramer:guy who's worthy of a woman to have sex with or a woman to
Tripp Kramer:date, then really none of it's going to matter. But it's all
Tripp Kramer:very interconnected and circular. You don't kind of sit
Tripp Kramer:at home and build self esteem. Esteem is built through the act
Tripp Kramer:of doing, being competent in whatever area that you're trying
Tripp Kramer:to be competent in. And also, self esteem is built by keeping
Tripp Kramer:the promises that you make to yourself. So if you're always
Tripp Kramer:working on something and you have goals, whether it's in your
Tripp Kramer:career or your hobbies or just hanging out with friends and and
Tripp Kramer:making friends and being around people, and going to the gym and
Tripp Kramer:saying that you're going to do something and you're going to do
Tripp Kramer:it, and you're going to follow through little by little, like a
Tripp Kramer:house that's being built, every little brick makes you feel
Tripp Kramer:better about who you are. Okay? So now I'm feeling better about
Tripp Kramer:who I am because I'm working on myself. I'm going to the gym,
Tripp Kramer:I'm putting on new clothes, I'm approaching some women, I'm
Tripp Kramer:trying new things. I'm trying new hobbies. Little by little,
Tripp Kramer:you start to feel more worthy. And it's this awesome snowball
Tripp Kramer:effect where then you like yourself, you start to feel
Tripp Kramer:deserving of having an amazing woman. You start to act like
Tripp Kramer:that when you're talking to women, when you're being sexual
Tripp Kramer:with them, when you're in the bedroom with them. And and it's
Tripp Kramer:this kind of slow process that you build yourself up to be that
Tripp Kramer:person, even if you're don't have a six pack, even if you're
Tripp Kramer:not super rich, even if you're a guy who's fresh out of a
Tripp Kramer:divorce. So no, it's not instant. That's not how life
Tripp Kramer:works. Nothing in this world is but it says not this feat where
Tripp Kramer:you have to be making several six figures a year and have an
Anne Truong:I love that. And when you said sexual confidence
Anne Truong:eight pack.
Anne Truong:comes from mindset and competence, what is the mindset
Anne Truong:you're thinking about? Like, what type of thought that he
Anne Truong:needs to making affirmation in his mind? Is this something that
Anne Truong:an affirmation he needs to do every day or is it a routine?
Anne Truong:Because mindset sometimes is a little like a big term. What
Anne Truong:does that mean? Mindset? So can you dive into that?
Tripp Kramer:Yep, I have a few mindsets for you. I think that
Tripp Kramer:one of the biggest ones is confidence is not perfection,
Tripp Kramer:and you, combined with that, is progress is more important than
Tripp Kramer:perfection. So this is what stops us from taking action. I
Tripp Kramer:still deal with this on a daily basis, and then I snap myself
Tripp Kramer:out of it, because I come back to the mindset we're human and
Tripp Kramer:we don't want to make mistakes or errors, and because of that,
Tripp Kramer:it can prevent us from taking action because we're too scared
Tripp Kramer:to make mistakes. You're going to make mistakes, and you have
Tripp Kramer:to make mistakes. That is the toll that you have to pay in
Tripp Kramer:order to get better at something. So you have to
Tripp Kramer:understand that you're not going to be going and having amazing
Tripp Kramer:first dates, amazing sexual experiences, amazing approaches,
Tripp Kramer:amazing times in the gym, amazing times at your work, all
Tripp Kramer:the time. That's not life. Life is actually more so filled with
Tripp Kramer:a lot of errors and rejection and problems. And I don't say
Tripp Kramer:that in a negative or pessimistic way. It's just what
Tripp Kramer:has to happen to get to the points where then you've
Tripp Kramer:accomplished something and then you feel amazing. Otherwise
Tripp Kramer:everything would be easy. You know, everyone would just have
Tripp Kramer:everything all the time. So you have to have that mindset and
Tripp Kramer:remember that if you want to make that real quick and to the
Tripp Kramer:point you could just remember progress is more important than
Tripp Kramer:perfection, and you'll never reach that. And that's okay,
Tripp Kramer:because it's never about perfection, it's about progress.
Tripp Kramer:So that's one of my biggest ones. I like to tell people any
Tripp Kramer:thoughts on that, because I got another one for you.
Anne Truong:That makes sense. It's like I play tennis. You
Anne Truong:want to get better at your skills and strokes, tou got to
Anne Truong:go out there and practice, practice, practice, practice.
Tripp Kramer:Yeah, exactly, exactly. Here's a motivational
Tripp Kramer:mindset. So it helps motivate you, and it's a mindset that is
Tripp Kramer:going to help you take more action and try to be a better
Tripp Kramer:person every day. This was taught to me over 15 years ago
Tripp Kramer:by a mentor of mine. He said to me, successful people do what
Tripp Kramer:unsuccessful people are unwilling to do. What that means
Tripp Kramer:is there's a lot of people in this world who won't do the hard
Tripp Kramer:thing or go the extra mile, and they just won't succeed. But the
Tripp Kramer:people, all the people who've been successful, and I don't
Tripp Kramer:mean Elon Musk, Trump, whoever the most successful people in
Tripp Kramer:the world, whoever you see that is, I don't mean you have to be
Tripp Kramer:to that degree, but just your everyday person who is being
Tripp Kramer:successful or moving forward or building something is doing
Tripp Kramer:actions and taking actions that other people aren't. So you have
Tripp Kramer:to do those actions. So for example, let's say going to the
Tripp Kramer:gym, your schedule is really hard. Got to get to work by
Tripp Kramer:nine, and you're exhausted after six when you get home. Well,
Tripp Kramer:what is a successful person going to do? It's going to
Tripp Kramer:figure it out, it's going to go to he's going to go work out a
Tripp Kramer:lunch, it's going to wake up super early. Maybe you don't
Tripp Kramer:want to do that. Maybe that sucks and that's painful for
Tripp Kramer:you. But successful people do what unsuccessful people are
Tripp Kramer:unwilling to do. Let's talk about dating, going out,
Tripp Kramer:approaching women, getting rejected. Affected. Maybe you're
Tripp Kramer:45 years old and you go, wow, that seems silly. I gotta go out
Tripp Kramer:and approach women. I gotta go to a bar, or I gotta go to a
Tripp Kramer:crowded area during the day where people are shopping. Do I
Tripp Kramer:really have to do this? No, you don't have to. But the people
Tripp Kramer:who are unsuccessful are not going to do that. But if you're
Tripp Kramer:willing to do that, the thing that seems a little ridiculous,
Tripp Kramer:a little bit hard, you're going to see results in that area. I
Tripp Kramer:would almost say this is another way of saying success lies
Tripp Kramer:outside of your comfort zone. But that saying is a little old
Tripp Kramer:now, and I like the one that that I've been using, because
Tripp Kramer:there's something motivational in there. And I think men can
Tripp Kramer:really attach to that idea of, like, yeah, I want to be
Tripp Kramer:successful, so I'm going to do the things that most people are
Tripp Kramer:not willing to do. Let's go.
Anne Truong:I love that. It's almost like the analogy you, a
Anne Truong:lot of things you say, it's almost like aligned with
Anne Truong:entrepreneurship, and with any goal, entrepreneurship and goal
Anne Truong:is persistence and consistency and keep moving. I wouldn't say
Anne Truong:fail. We did not succeed. I never thought about kind of
Anne Truong:dating in that sense. It definitely opened up some new
Anne Truong:frontier for me just listening to what you're saying. But I
Anne Truong:want to kind of what you were talking about, physical and
Anne Truong:personality. Is there a research and shows, I mean, initially,
Anne Truong:before we meet somebody, there's definitely a physical thing,
Anne Truong:because we judge what we see. Our mind processes what we see,
Anne Truong:what we hear, and everything. So there's this definitely physical
Anne Truong:trait that is the first impression before you start
Anne Truong:reading somebody. So is there research that shows how long
Anne Truong:that takes? Like, let's say, a man approaches a woman. How long
Anne Truong:does that take us? She looks at him, she's assessing his
Anne Truong:physical physique, how he carries himself, his hygiene,
Anne Truong:what he wears and so forth. How long does it take the
Anne Truong:personality kind of override the physical attribute?
Tripp Kramer:Well, here's what happens. It's pretty much
Tripp Kramer:instantaneously. So it doesn't take too long for man or woman
Tripp Kramer:to assess physically, whether or not they find the person
Tripp Kramer:attractive and even to the degree of, would I sleep with
Tripp Kramer:this person? Now for a man, it happens a lot quicker. For a
Tripp Kramer:woman, she may say, I want to see I would sleep with this guy,
Tripp Kramer:but women will not sleep with a man that fast as a man would
Tripp Kramer:with a woman, because she has to think about safety, that's a
Tripp Kramer:whole other thing. But to answer your question, yeah, it happens
Tripp Kramer:instantaneously. From all that I've I've researched, however,
Tripp Kramer:when it comes down to your personality, it actually makes
Tripp Kramer:you more attractive physically. What I mean is, if you ever
Tripp Kramer:heard a woman say, I don't know what it is about this guy, I
Tripp Kramer:like him, but he's not really my type. He's not the kind of guy I
Tripp Kramer:would go for, like, straight up that line. He's not the kind of
Tripp Kramer:guy that I go for, but I like him. What may happen is you go
Tripp Kramer:up to a woman and, by the way, make or break, you can go up to
Tripp Kramer:a woman and she would be like, I would sleep with this guy. I'm
Tripp Kramer:attracted to him. But then you open your mouth and you're
Tripp Kramer:creepy, you're not confident, you're kind of weird, you're not
Tripp Kramer:giving good eye contact, you're not being playful and funny. All
Tripp Kramer:those things can hurt your now ability to then have sex with
Tripp Kramer:this woman, go on a date with this woman. So when you are
Tripp Kramer:approaching a woman, or when you're on a date with a woman,
Tripp Kramer:and she doesn't find you that physically attractive once she
Tripp Kramer:sees more of those leadership qualities, charisma, confidence,
Tripp Kramer:decisiveness, those masculine traits, holding eye contact,
Tripp Kramer:speaking well, showing your intellect, showing that you have
Tripp Kramer:a life that you care about, that you're passionate about, and
Tripp Kramer:desire. And yes, I know that's a lot. It's like, well, how do you
Tripp Kramer:show all that within two minutes? I mean, you don't, you
Tripp Kramer:start to roll it out, but the way that you speak to a woman,
Tripp Kramer:at least in the very beginning, you can start to get this kind
Tripp Kramer:of, like sales, kind of like marketing, you were saying, it
Tripp Kramer:can start to persuade a little bit, because now she's getting
Tripp Kramer:this whole other side of you, because now she's taking in more
Tripp Kramer:than just visual. You were saying what happens visually?
Tripp Kramer:But there's more. There's other senses that women are picking up
Tripp Kramer:on, from what she hears, from what she even what down to what
Tripp Kramer:she smells. That's why people wear cologne. And there's such
Tripp Kramer:thing as pheromones. And also, not just seeing what you look
Tripp Kramer:like, but seeing how you act. If you go up to a woman, you're not
Tripp Kramer:giving your eye contact, and you're kind of tight body
Tripp Kramer:language, and you're showing really shy, or you're really
Tripp Kramer:monotone, and you're talking like this, and you don't have
Tripp Kramer:that kind of charismatic vibe to you in the way that you're
Tripp Kramer:speaking with your tone. She's going to see that. She's going
Tripp Kramer:to hear that. And that can hurt your chances or make your
Tripp Kramer:chances again. It might sound overwhelming to a guy who's
Tripp Kramer:listening to this, while that sounds like a lot, sounds like a
Tripp Kramer:lot of work, a lot of this can become second nature, and a lot
Tripp Kramer:of men already have this. Most of us know how to talk, how to
Tripp Kramer:speak. Most of us have intellect. It's just the
Tripp Kramer:nervousness that you feel when you're talking to a woman you're
Tripp Kramer:attracted to and you're scared of rejection, starts to damper
Tripp Kramer:some of those personality traits, and it makes it harder.
Tripp Kramer:So then what you need. To do. Circling back to what I said
Tripp Kramer:earlier on this call, is you need to practice. Have
Tripp Kramer:conversations, go out, talk to women you're attracted to
Tripp Kramer:practice that approach. Go on the dates, so that you can get
Tripp Kramer:better at this and become more comfortable with it over time,
Tripp Kramer:so it's not as challenging as I thought it was when I was
Tripp Kramer:learning this stuff. I mean, my quick background on me is I was
Tripp Kramer:a very shy guy. I had a little bit of a fun personality, but I
Tripp Kramer:didn't really know how to show it. I dampered myself. I chained
Tripp Kramer:myself because I didn't want to get rejected or as fearing what
Tripp Kramer:people would think of me. And then over time, I started to
Tripp Kramer:care less, and that made me become more charismatic over
Tripp Kramer:time, with years of practice and coming out of my shell, so it is
Tripp Kramer:possible for many men.
Anne Truong:Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't
Anne Truong:have to suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and
Anne Truong:even defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the
Anne Truong:weight of not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But
Anne Truong:here's the truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You
Anne Truong:don't have to figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now
Anne Truong:Boost Program is your step by step, path to sexual confidence
Anne Truong:and restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more
Anne Truong:trial and error, just real solution, real result and the
Anne Truong:confidence you deserve. It's time to take back your power on
Anne Truong:your term. Let's get this journey started together. Check
Anne Truong:out the course at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you
Anne Truong:there.
Anne Truong:So from what I hear, and I hear this a lot, is charisma is
Anne Truong:learned. You're not born with it. Charisma is something that
Anne Truong:you've learned, but you have to practice and then get confidence
Anne Truong:with it. And I'm just going to hit it right on the point how
Anne Truong:much of sexual performance is to a man at this point. I've heard
Anne Truong:saying from my patient, from friends, that, hey, if I'm not
Anne Truong:performing the bedroom, I'm not a man at all. And so let's say
Anne Truong:he's not at his best, optimal performance in the bedroom. How
Anne Truong:can he compensate for that in his personality or in his
Anne Truong:relationship or dating?
Tripp Kramer:It really goes down to the same formula as I
Tripp Kramer:was talking about. You can't really just have sexual
Tripp Kramer:confidence by thinking about it. Obviously, there's gonna be
Tripp Kramer:things that help you, help with that, with erectile dysfunction,
Tripp Kramer:so that is something that you do and can fix on your own. But
Tripp Kramer:once you have that fixed, or mostly fixed, because think
Tripp Kramer:about it, right? What are we talking about? Sexual
Tripp Kramer:confidence, what does that even mean? What does sexual
Tripp Kramer:confidence look like? Okay, I would imagine it looks like a
Tripp Kramer:guy being with a woman feeling fully comfortable that he's
Tripp Kramer:going to be able to please her and be more inhibited in the
Tripp Kramer:bedroom. Now, that stuff isn't really challenging to do. So
Tripp Kramer:where is this lack of confidence coming from? It's just coming
Tripp Kramer:from up here. That's all it is. So you're not going to convince
Tripp Kramer:yourself in a room alone or by watching porn on a screen that
Tripp Kramer:you can be good in the bed. You have to be with women. That's
Tripp Kramer:how you build sexual confidence. You have to be with women,
Tripp Kramer:sexually. You have to be sleeping with women. You have to
Tripp Kramer:have sexual experiences, because I promise you, even just a
Tripp Kramer:couple, you might be a Casanova, sleeping with a new girl every
Tripp Kramer:week, even having a few positive experiences, or at least
Tripp Kramer:learning from some experiences, and learning your body when it's
Tripp Kramer:with another woman, is going to start to give you a new mindset,
Tripp Kramer:right? It's going to help you with how you're acting with a
Tripp Kramer:woman the next time you see them. So a lot of it starts with
Tripp Kramer:some of the things that you do, and with fixing erectile
Tripp Kramer:dysfunction. And a lot of it has to do with what I teach with,
Tripp Kramer:Okay, well, before you have sex, you have to what meet women, go
Tripp Kramer:on dates, approach online dating, do all those things so I
Tripp Kramer:wouldn't even concern yourself right now with sexual confidence
Tripp Kramer:and having that. I would rather a guy work on meeting a lot of
Tripp Kramer:women, having a lot of volume, working on some charismatic
Tripp Kramer:traits, getting rejected, a bunch going on dates where some
Tripp Kramer:go well, some don't, and then trying to pursue women sexually
Tripp Kramer:and seeing what happens from there, and then you can see how
Tripp Kramer:your sexual confidence is there. It's like, we don't want to put
Tripp Kramer:the cart before the horse, or else you're just going to go
Tripp Kramer:insane and be so overwhelmed that none of this is going to
Tripp Kramer:happen. So don't connect your sexual confidence to your
Tripp Kramer:confidence with going and talking to a woman. Yeah,
Tripp Kramer:they're intertwined, but one thing at a time, get to the
Tripp Kramer:point where you can have even even a chance where you are
Tripp Kramer:going to sleep with the woman. Once we have many of those
Tripp Kramer:chances, good, now we can work on more sexual confidence. I do
Tripp Kramer:the same thing when men are approaching women, you know,
Tripp Kramer:they go, oh, there's a girl over there. Like, what do I do? I
Tripp Kramer:gotta do all these things. I gotta flirt. I gotta give good.
Tripp Kramer:Eye contact. I have a whole list. I'm going crazy. I can't
Tripp Kramer:do this. I'm not going to approach you're getting ahead of
Tripp Kramer:yourself here. Why not just go out one day and wave hello to 10
Tripp Kramer:different women. Because if you can't do that, then nothing's
Tripp Kramer:going to work. Now, to connect everything in my little
Tripp Kramer:ecosystem here, I don't want to go talk to women and say hi to
Tripp Kramer:10. That's weird trip. You don't have to. But guess what
Tripp Kramer:successful people do? What unsuccessful people are
Tripp Kramer:unwilling to do? So it's all kind of connected. There baby
Tripp Kramer:steps, and you get to that point, and then you see, I don't
Tripp Kramer:know, maybe you think you don't have sexual confidence, and all
Tripp Kramer:of a sudden, you're with a woman, you guys are getting
Tripp Kramer:sexual. She's really into you. And all of a sudden you just
Tripp Kramer:have it, because it's primal, and you think that you are going
Tripp Kramer:to mess up in the bedroom, and you were just a rock star. How
Tripp Kramer:do you know? You're just guessing. You're making up
Tripp Kramer:little thoughts and stories in your head. Okay, maybe that
Tripp Kramer:doesn't happen. You're with the woman. You can't get it up.
Tripp Kramer:Didn't go really well, but then she doesn't really care, because
Tripp Kramer:you're good at going down on her, and then that helps a
Tripp Kramer:little bit. We don't want to solve problems we don't have
Tripp Kramer:yet. You don't know you have a problem until you take action.
Anne Truong:Oh, I love that. I love that. And I see that all
Tripp Kramer:I think what you're saying here, it connects
Tripp Kramer:the time. Is that when I'm working with men with ED and
Tripp Kramer:even though they get better, even after treatment, they're
Tripp Kramer:still fixated on, Oh my god, I gotta be rock hard, ready to go
Tripp Kramer:in five minutes. And I'm not. Then I'm not the man that I used
Tripp Kramer:to be. And arousal takes time. Sometimes you gotta let your
Tripp Kramer:body be prepared. And if you're with a partner and you're
Tripp Kramer:attracted to her, she's attracted to you. That, in
Tripp Kramer:itself, is actually an initiator of the erection response. The
Tripp Kramer:brain is the largest sexual organ for men and for women, and
Tripp Kramer:we oftentimes focus on our sexual organ instead of up here,
Tripp Kramer:because if nothing goes on up here in the brain, nothing's
Tripp Kramer:going to be initiated below the belt. And there are three steps
Tripp Kramer:that need to happen in the brain, first, before even it
Tripp Kramer:goes down the nerve to go down to your sexual organs. Like the
Tripp Kramer:senses. Your senses need to be aroused, like what you see, what
Tripp Kramer:you smell, what you taste, what you hear and touch. All those
Tripp Kramer:senses occur during dating sexual encounter, right? But
Tripp Kramer:then that gets processed in your emotional state, meaning, if
Tripp Kramer:you're fearful, if you're distressed, that kind of dampen
Tripp Kramer:down that senses that feed into it, and then that gets processed
Tripp Kramer:also in the brain, in the hormones. Different hormones
Tripp Kramer:need to be released as well in the brain before the initiation
Tripp Kramer:go down the nerve, down the chain to stimulate your heart,
Tripp Kramer:to get more blood flow, and then more blood flow go down to the
Tripp Kramer:sexual organ, but three steps need to occur in the brain. But
Tripp Kramer:if your mindset is not in a right state, that will dampen
Tripp Kramer:that fire and it's not going to go past it. And I see men is
Tripp Kramer:that they're not focusing on the mindset. I always tell them,
Tripp Kramer:like, just relax. Don't focus on performance. Enjoy the moment.
Tripp Kramer:Enjoy your senses. Get into it, and then don't think about, Oh
Tripp Kramer:my god, am I gonna get it up this time? Am I gonna be able to
Tripp Kramer:perform or not? Because the more you think about it, guess what,
Tripp Kramer:to exactly what I'm saying. What we're talking about is this the
Tripp Kramer:it's not gonna happen, right? It's almost like
Tripp Kramer:counterintuitive, like, the more you think about it, is not going
Tripp Kramer:to happen, but that's the way our body is made is that it's
Tripp Kramer:all in sometimes, what thoughts that you put in your mind that
Tripp Kramer:allows you to be able to have the function that you want. So
Tripp Kramer:it's exactly what you were saying, even about dating as
Tripp Kramer:well, too. Because I can tell you, the mind is so powerful
Tripp Kramer:that men that are paralyzed from the neck down can't feel
Tripp Kramer:anything, can still get an erection because of the power of
Tripp Kramer:the mind. As the power of the mind is that powerful.
Tripp Kramer:art of being present and doing that's everything. Because,
Tripp Kramer:yeah, the more present you are, the less thinking you're doing,
Tripp Kramer:and the more that you'll be able to tap into your body sexually,
Tripp Kramer:the more that you'll be able to just go out, talk to women,
Tripp Kramer:date. This isn't tennis, in a sense. This is not sailing. This
Tripp Kramer:isn't a technical skill. This is Your body knows how to do all
Tripp Kramer:these things. You know how to talk, you know how to converse
Tripp Kramer:with people, and then you know how to have sex, even if you've
Tripp Kramer:never had it before, you know how to do it. You just know how
Tripp Kramer:to do all these things that we're talking about, but in
Tripp Kramer:order to do them, it's more about getting out of your head
Tripp Kramer:and staying in the moment and just doing the thing that you
Tripp Kramer:need to do, so, not listening to your thoughts, letting your
Tripp Kramer:thoughts wash through you. A lot of this is also Buddhist
Tripp Kramer:practices. If you read the book, The Power of Now, this helps
Tripp Kramer:tremendously. I recommend that book to anyone who's trying to
Tripp Kramer:learn how to be more present and stay in the moment. But like
Tripp Kramer:Anne saying, being present, like I'm saying, taking action all
Tripp Kramer:that together. Other would be like step one, and then you see
Tripp Kramer:what happens.
Anne Truong:That's right, start with step one and see what
Anne Truong:happens. And I tell men, act as if you're in the playground. Get
Anne Truong:there and see how you feel, and decide whether you want to do
Anne Truong:the swing, the slide, the monkey bars, or what. Just being
Anne Truong:present. Because amazingly, that works. That works. I mean, I saw
Anne Truong:many, many men that would say, Well, yesterday I had the best
Anne Truong:sex. We went on for an hour and a half. You know, last week,
Anne Truong:couldn't get it up. The week before was partial. You like,
Anne Truong:What the heck is going on? And that kind of tap into the
Anne Truong:presence I was, like, maybe his mindset. Having said that, I
Anne Truong:really enjoy our conversation today. I learned quite a few bit
Anne Truong:of stuff, and it's almost feel like, Oh my god, seems like the
Anne Truong:guy have to do a lot to kind of attract women. Is that the case?
Anne Truong:If I were a man, I'll be like, Oh my goodness, what I need to
Anne Truong:do? What are your thoughts?
Tripp Kramer:In terms of what next steps of exactly what to
Tripp Kramer:do? So, like, you just listened to this episode, and now you're
Tripp Kramer:going, where do I begin? So I'll give you a homework, and I'm
Tripp Kramer:going to make it very easy for you. You're going to take one
Tripp Kramer:hour this week, whatever works for you, and you're going to go
Tripp Kramer:out and we're going to say hi to 10 people, men, women, doesn't
Tripp Kramer:matter. Over 18, obviously, do that, step one. Step two, you're
Tripp Kramer:going to call up and find or email a photographer in your
Tripp Kramer:area, and you're going to get pictures of yourself for your
Tripp Kramer:online dating profile. Okay, I want you to be I'm very clear
Tripp Kramer:how these steps are. I didn't say start an online dating app
Tripp Kramer:profile, I said, hire a photographer. That's step two,
Tripp Kramer:get pictures done that are just various pictures, the
Tripp Kramer:photographer will know what to do. That's going to be the best
Tripp Kramer:step to getting more matches online. I'm going to stop there,
Tripp Kramer:because that's a lot right there for people. Do that. Just do
Tripp Kramer:that. If you can do that, you've already done more than probably
Tripp Kramer:90% of guys.
Anne Truong:Why professional professional photographer
Anne Truong:instead of using your phone and do selfies?
Tripp Kramer:Selfies. They've done studies on selfies. They
Tripp Kramer:don't get enough matches, because the angle in which
Tripp Kramer:you're taking a selfie is not attractive. You can't, I mean,
Tripp Kramer:you could, but most people don't know how to do it. The most
Tripp Kramer:attractive angle, which I can go into detail. But again, you
Tripp Kramer:don't need to know this, the photographer should know this,
Tripp Kramer:is really no closer than a medium shot from the stomach,
Tripp Kramer:belly button up with a slowly tilted head down so you're not
Tripp Kramer:like your neck isn't up like this, but just below parallel, I
Tripp Kramer:should say just a little bit down, and then a slight smile
Tripp Kramer:with a very, very, it's called a squinch. A very slight squint in
Tripp Kramer:your eyes, very slight. So that's going to be the most
Tripp Kramer:attractive. And you can't really get that on a selfie. For those
Tripp Kramer:of just listening. I'm holding my phone. I'm putting it up to
Tripp Kramer:myself, because you won't get that angle. No one takes a good
Tripp Kramer:selfie.
Anne Truong:It's not that expensive to get a professional
Anne Truong:photographer for a few shots.
Tripp Kramer:Spend the money. I mean, how important is it to you
Tripp Kramer:to get, if this is a priority for you, and you want to really
Tripp Kramer:get a lot of matches and you want to meet women, then spend
Tripp Kramer:the money. Use a credit card, go into debt, get a loan, I don't
Tripp Kramer:know, your house savings, take a little bit more out. I mean, if
Tripp Kramer:it's not a priority for you, then yeah, I guess go as cheap
Tripp Kramer:as you can. But if it is, do it right, spend the money. It's
Tripp Kramer:worth the investment, because it's going to get you results,
Tripp Kramer:and then you're going to be super happy that you did it.
Anne Truong:When you say, hi, is it just a wave? Wave, or is
Anne Truong:it kind of like, Hey, I'm Tripp. How are you? Is it coming over,
Anne Truong:shaking hands, starting conversation? What is that?
Tripp Kramer:Good question? Yeah, so let's get more
Tripp Kramer:specific. Loking and giving eye contact and just saying hello.
Tripp Kramer:That's it. And walking past them, little wave, hand in the
Tripp Kramer:air. Hello, eye contact. Walk away.
Anne Truong:Yeah, love it. Love that. And it's simple, you can
Anne Truong:do this. Men, you can do this. And the law of attraction has
Anne Truong:not changed. Thousands of years, it's still the same, whether
Anne Truong:caveman days or nowadays. But then with the women empowerment,
Anne Truong:the waters are a little bit tougher, but it's still the
Anne Truong:same. So having said that, I know that you run Tripp Advice,
Anne Truong:tell us about what you do and how men can work with you.
Tripp Kramer:Absolutely. So we have a whole coaching team over
Tripp Kramer:here at Tripp Advice. We specialize in helping men,
Tripp Kramer:especially men over 30, with dating, meeting women,
Tripp Kramer:attraction, online dating, approaching, basically any kind
Tripp Kramer:of guy who's looking to get more dates. We work with all ages.
Tripp Kramer:We've even worked with people, guys up to 70 years old. But we
Tripp Kramer:work with men who are ready to make changes in their dating
Tripp Kramer:lives. There is no shortcuts in life, but I'll say working with
Tripp Kramer:us is like a shortcut, because you just don't have to do too
Tripp Kramer:much trial and error. So we can cut to exactly what needs to be
Tripp Kramer:done to be able to get you the volume, be more attractive, get
Tripp Kramer:more dates, have more experiences. And this is for
Tripp Kramer:guys who are either looking for just hey, I want to have fun and
Tripp Kramer:have sexual experiences, or for guys who are like, No, I want a
Tripp Kramer:girlfriend, I want a wife, I want to settle down, I want to
Tripp Kramer:do something like that. So we help in all those areas, and we
Tripp Kramer:guide you and tell you exactly what to do. We call it the Tripp
Tripp Kramer:Advice Accelerator Program. So if you're interested in learning
Tripp Kramer:more about that, we do free calls. You can book a free call
Tripp Kramer:with us at trippadvicecoaching com. And trip is with two P's.
Anne Truong:Akay. And I myself work with Tripp and his team
Anne Truong:also help us with our men in getting sexual restoration as
Anne Truong:well, too. And so check out his website. We'll put that in the
Anne Truong:link in the description. And having said that, I hope Modern
Anne Truong:Man that you find this valuable and just know that you are not
Anne Truong:alone. There are resources out there, and do not have to suffer
Anne Truong:in silence. There are help. Check Tripp out, check our
Anne Truong:program out, and our coaching program as well at noedman.com
Anne Truong:and we'll see you in the next episode. Thank you Tripp for
Anne Truong:being with us today.
Tripp Kramer:Thank you, Dr. Anne, appreciate your time.
Anne Truong:Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't
Anne Truong:have to suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and
Anne Truong:even defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the
Anne Truong:weight of not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But
Anne Truong:here's the truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You
Anne Truong:don't have to figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now
Anne Truong:Boost Program is your step by step, path to sexual confidence
Anne Truong:and restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more
Anne Truong:trial and error, just real solution, real result and the
Anne Truong:confidence you deserve. It's time to take back your power on
Anne Truong:your term. Let's get this journey started together. Check
Anne Truong:out the course at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you
Anne Truong:there.
Anne Truong:Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men Podcast.
Anne Truong:If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your
Anne Truong:phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you post,
Anne Truong:and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode
Anne Truong:and what you like to hear in the future. That will help me know
Anne Truong:what's great for you and I would love to give you the most
Anne Truong:incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance
Anne Truong:quickly. Go to my website at sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to
Anne Truong:get the book, The Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When
Anne Truong:Facing ED. I would appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on
Anne Truong:Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And just know that you
Anne Truong:can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you until
Anne Truong:next time.