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The “Desires” of Our Lives
Episode 167 • 3rd July 2023 • Lets Be Honest Before We Start Pretending • Kelly Mobeck
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One of my favorite questions is “have you thought of…”?  It can often spark a deep desire I never knew I had or wanted.  I especially love this question when it is not coming from someone else’s agenda/opinion rather something they are seeing or hearing from me that I am not even aware I have been putting out there!  It’s such a great question that opens possibilities versus igniting the “shoulds” in our lives.  Today we will take on what desires are and how to tap into them to create more of the results we want in our lives.  Let’s go!!

Highlights from this episode:

(02:34) The desire to please

(06:16) Desire versus purpose

(13:00) Have you ever thought about becoming a coach?

(15:42) Taking a leap of faith

(22:47) Let go of shoulds

The 'Take the Lead Workshops' will help you stay unstuck & create the results & success you want. I've learned a few things along the way & created these workshops to help you move past being up against it & have focused action on what's important to you.

Our next workshop is March 25th and it’s right on time! 

We can’t wait to see you there! Read more and join our amazing community at the link below:

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Transcripts

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Hey, everyone, I'm Kelly Mobic, a coach and a

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leadership trainer. And I'm super passionate about helping

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you find out who you are authentically as a leader, own

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it, and go out and make an impact in your life and the

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lives of others. This world needs your leadership, your

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gifts, your unique brilliance. And I believe that real leaders

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don't wait. They create. I know firsthand that life is going to

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throw us curveballs that we're going to doubt our greatness,

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our ideas and our contributions. And my goal is that you believe

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in yourself beyond reason. And I get to be a coach and a champion

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for you each week, so that you feel inspired, motivated, and

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most important in action towards your unique impact in this

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world. So let's jump in. Hey there, everyone, it's Coach

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Kelly, and I want to welcome you to Episode 167. Of let's be

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honest, before we start pretending, first and foremost,

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happy July, how is your summer going so far, I hope it's

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amazing. I wanted to drop in real quick, we're going to

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revisit an episode we did last year called the desires of our

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life today to kick off July. And that is with intention. Because

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we got a longer we got a longer month in July. So we've got four

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more episodes coming up. This month, we've got we're going to

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talk about intentional living, we're going to talk about

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intention and your money. We're going to talk about intention

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and your calling. And we are going to talk about intention

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and ownership all month long. And I've got some amazing guests

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that are going to join me. So I thought that visiting revisiting

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the desires of our life would be 100% timely today, because

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intention absolutely assists us in achieving the desires of our

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life. And so with that, please enjoy the desires of our life.

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And oh really quick before, before I roll, I want to remind

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you you are not too late for the take the lead in your life

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workshops replays are available. We've got one more coming up on

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July 11. You can still get the whole bundle get the replays and

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really work with intention or you can buy anything ala carte

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to and they are amazing. We were having so much fun in these

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workshops. So jump in, you're not too late. All right, enjoy

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this episode, the desires of our lives. Have a great week ahead,

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and I'll see you next week. Hey there, everyone, its coach

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Kelly, welcome to another episode of Let's be honest,

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before we start pretending, and our final episode in the shoulds

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vs desire, series theme, so on and so forth, I have a feeling

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we will be touching on this more as we move down the road for

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sure. So you will remember that last week's episode, we delve a

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bit deeper into shoulds. And what should gives us what it

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doesn't give us where it comes from. Oftentimes remember the

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two different areas that should come from either they come from

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people pleasing, not always just people pleasing. I don't want to

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just leave it there. But like seeking some approval, or

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somebody else thought that that would be a better idea for us,

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you know, well intended, oftentimes, things that you

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should be doing from somebody that told you you should be

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doing it right. So it comes from that form. Or it can come from

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living in the past and maybe wanting to correct some mistakes

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or regrets or things like that. That's the past the past was

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then this is now and also, while people mean well, they're not

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necessarily living your life. And so oftentimes when we make

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those decisions to do something, because someone said we should

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often times we can really miss out on taking action and

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creating exactly what we want. Those are the desires, the

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things that are important to us. Okay, so shoulds are sneaky,

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sneaky, sneaky. They are sneaky. And again, I think you know we

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all see things in people we all see potential in people we all

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do, we can't help it. And so we should on people, we should on

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ourselves, we should on everything else, right. And I

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think sometimes, not even sometimes I think that if we

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could all shift to really uncovering what somebody really

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desires, what somebody really wants and really begin to ask

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questions to help them uncover it. It's why I love being a

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coach. Honestly, it is really Do I love being one because I just

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know I don't have other people's answers, I just don't have them.

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But what I do have is the ability to uncover their answers

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and help them move forward. That is for sure. And that's the best

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because it really is awesome when you see someone light up

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when they discover their desire when they discover their want,

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when they get like, super scared, because they're like, oh

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my gosh, like, it's so scary. But I it's exciting all at the

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same time. And, and then they take action on it, and then they

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create it. And here's the thing I know, I know this, people are

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going to be much more willing to act on something they want,

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desire, versus what they should be doing. It's true. They will

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create what they want much more from their desire, and want,

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versus it coming from someone else's opinion, or should, we

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can live a life of regret, misery, lack of joy, happiness,

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all of that if we live a life of shoulds, or living a life that

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somebody else thinks we're supposed to live, we do it. I

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don't know why we do it. And I'm here to say, let's get into the

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desire. So I trust that you guys did your homework last week, and

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you really started to uncover what drives, you know, like, Am

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I doing this because I want to or because I should what's

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driving that I really trust that you take that on, if you

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haven't, go back and listen to that episode, check it out, and

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really keep that in front of you. And then remember, the

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second piece of homework was creating that time where all

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you're doing are the things that you want, all you're doing or

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the things that you want. And whether you know, it's it's

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beginning to practice a new habit, whether you start with

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five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, whatever that

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is for you, so that you really get in your bones, what it feels

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like to create from a place of what I want to create and what I

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desire versus what I think I should, okay, and I just want to

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say these are things also, by the way that are I'm talking

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about things that are healthy for you, that are good for your

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soul, I'm not talking about any, like, reckless abandon, I'm not

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talking about like, things that are gonna get you in trouble and

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that type of thing. I'm not saying go all willy nilly out

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there, okay. I'm also saying get uncomfortable, play a big game,

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don't play a small game. I think you know, this podcast and me

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well enough, if you are on Episode 118, to know that I am

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talking about the things that you want to create in your life

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so that you have joy, you have freedom, you have happiness,

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you're creating an impact in your life, and the life of

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others, you're taking that lead. That's the kind of desires I'm

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talking about. All right. So it was so funny. I really love to,

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you know, read things, listen to things do a little research.

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When I'm really diving into topics. I love to get curious

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and find out more I love to hear you know what other people's

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thoughts are on certain topics and things like that. And I just

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had I have to tell you, I found something that was so funny, as

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I was looking for some things to read about shoulds and desires

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and all of that. And there literally was this one topic

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that said, Should you desire more or less?

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Did you hear that? Should you desire more or less? I just I

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found it fascinating. I didn't even dive into it. Because it

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started with should and was questioning desire. Now here's

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the thing, you get to decide if you desire more for your life or

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less for your life, whatever that is. Let's not attach it to

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should I mean, that title lost me it should. It definitely did.

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But I wanted to share it with you because I thought it was

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pretty funny. So what is a desire? What is a desire? And

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when I'm talking about what a desire is it is a deep rooted

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want, that you want. It can also be called an outcome. It's a

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desired outcome. It could be a vision, anything that is

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answering that question, what do I really want? And you know me,

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I'm going to have you like really get into why you want it,

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which is purpose. So I think a desire is a combination of the

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two, meaning I get really clear about what it is I want I see

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that vision or outcome or goal. It's the want, right? And then I

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go ahead and I start digging into why do I want it that's

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purpose. I if you've been around here for a while, you know this?

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I know you know? And then what's that question? I always tagline

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to what's my purpose is why is it important to you? Okay, and

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really drilling down into at a deep level. Why? The thing that

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Do you want the desire that you have is truly important to you?

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Because I think that vision and purpose, or outcome and purpose,

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goal and purpose together taps into what you desire, period, it

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gets you down there deep. Okay? And by the way you do this

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without even like giving any energy or thought to how am I

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going to do it? Because again, remember, how oftentimes can

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attach itself to should? How is attaching itself to the

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mechanics? How and when we start there is going to work. I mean,

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let's go, we're going to talk ourselves out of whatever we

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desire. Okay, so, you know, I can't I say it, I say it often,

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I really say it often, you've got to really understand, what

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do I want? And why do I want it? And why is it important? And

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together, that taps into desire? I think, you know, there's this

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thing called willpower or your will for something. And I think

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sometimes that's not necessarily always enough, you know, a great

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example is like weight loss. And what do they always say, get,

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you know, get on a good, get on a good nutrition plan, get your

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get your blood moving, get active and initiate your will

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initiate your willpower. Okay, anybody out there who's ever

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lost any weight? Talk to me? willpower? Will? Okay, how long

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does willpower really work? When it's just will by itself? How

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long does it work? It works for a little bit. It works for a

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little bit, but not too not it doesn't last will is not

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lasting. Willpower is not lasting. Now, what's lasting, is

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when you get into the desire of what it is you want, you get

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deep into that desire, and you attach it with determination,

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persistence, purpose, passion, all those things. That's much

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more compelling, much more compelling than willpower.

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Because willpower oftentimes attaches itself to like, ah,

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that that's bad for you. You shouldn't have that. You should

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you should not have that piece of cake. Because remember,

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you're losing 10 pounds. You should it attaches to should. It

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does, it really does. I'm going to dig deeper on this one too,

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because I'm fascinated with it. But I really, I think about any

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time I've wanted to create some sort of change. And I was told,

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tap into your willpower. Was it really willpower that I was

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tapping into? I'm going to say no, because the times that I

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utilized willpower, it was never lasting, never lasting. It

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almost opened up a can of worms. Okay, so desire over will desire

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over will. Because desire is compelling. It's compelling. So

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you might remember I was telling you guys a story back when I was

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in banking. And I had I had this itch for something different. I

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had this I had this itch, and I knew it was time for some sort

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of change. I was tapped on the shoulder and I was asked, Have

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you ever thought about being a coach? It wasn't you should be a

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coach. It was have you ever thought about it? And I'm sure

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if I would have been tapped on the shoulder and told you should

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be a coach, I probably would have listened to that. I

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probably would have said, Okay, that sounds interesting. I may

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have even been flattered by some of the reasons why I should be a

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coach. And then that's just telling the truth, right? Or I

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might have been like scared like, Oh, heck no, there's no

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way I can change my career and start over. You know, I mean,

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all sorts of things could have happened. When I was asked Have

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you ever thought about being a coach and realizing I really

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never had I actually started to become curious and had

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conversations about what coaching is, who does it affect?

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What can you do with coaching? What kind of career could you do

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with coaching and back when I became a coach, life coaching

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was sort of just on the tip of people's tongues, and honestly,

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not in a real great way either not in a real great way.

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Remember, I was telling you that business coaching executive

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coaching that had in a career coaching that that was out there

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that was there, but like there was this new kind of coach

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called Life Coach that was coming and it people didn't

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really understand it. I didn't understand what life coaching

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was, and in fact was was really good. I don't Wow, that seems

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like what I mean where do you have to go to school to be able

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to coach life? Okay. I think life coach is just is just an

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abbreviation for lots of different types of Coaching

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truly True, true story. And I think sometimes life coaching

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gets gets a bad rap today, too. It does. And I'm here to say,

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Don't give it a bad rap. Okay? When you want something in your

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life, connect with someone that's going to help you get

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there. How about that? Whether it's life and what is life life

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is your personal your relationships, professional

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business, career, entrepreneurship, volunteering.

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I mean, it's life, right? It's life. So I think that life

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coaching is like that abbreviation for something else.

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Okay, something else. So I do think for coaches, it's really

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important to get super clear on Like, who do you coach? Why do

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you coach them? What do you love about it and name it and claim

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it? Name and and claim it? Anyway, I digress. Okay. So

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going back to that, I got really curious about it. I will tell

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you that I did take a leap of faith, I am absolutely a take of

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leap of faith or take a leap of faith there. Yes, I am.

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Absolutely. I'm a risk taker. I do Thrive living outside the

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comfort zone. I don't always love it. But I definitely Thrive

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right outside the comfort zone. And so I thought, You know what,

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let's do this. Let's do this. And I went back to school, and I

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went through just like I shared with you, the coach, Coach

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Training. Well, I was at the bank, and I was going through

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coach certification at the same time. And I remember our bank

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was bought by another bank, not uncommon, certainly not uncommon

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back then. This was a lot of years ago. And I was a portfolio

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manager at the bank. And so our any portfolio, portfolio

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managers position was dissolved. So what that meant is the other

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bank had their portfolio manager, so they really didn't

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need any more so, because they were buying us, we're out. We're

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out. And so we got we were laid off. Now I'll tell you what I

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had been laid off before. So that wasn't really, I'm not

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gonna say I loved it. I was like up. Yeah, I got laid off today.

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Although sometimes that happens, doesn't it? Any of you been laid

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off? And you're like, Oh, yes. Thank you so much. It definitely

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happens. But I remember, you know, I had it, we had

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responsibilities. Okay. So I remember coming home, and I was

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probably about 30 days outside of certification and graduation

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from coach training school. And I remember saying to my husband,

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well, I got the pink slips today, I have about, you know,

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about 30 days, it was it was very close to certification

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time. And I am I, you know, I've, I've been laid off our

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bank was bought, and you know, they don't need us. And so

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immediately right after that, and he's, he was so great with

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me. I mean, he was so great. He was so empathetic and super

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supportive, and all of that. And he, you know, immediately after

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I said, so I'm gonna just get on it. And, you know, look for

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another job and another bank and better get on that quick,

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because there's a lot of

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any out, I heard my husband say something to me that I'm just

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gonna say I've, I've only heard one time in the many, many years

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that we've been together. And I don't think I've ever heard it

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since because he just doesn't speak this way. It's pretty

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practical. And he said this to me, and I just tell you what, I

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believe this was a sign from God, I just really do. And he

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was literally speaking through my husband's mouth, because what

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my husband said was, Hey, I wonder, have you thought of this

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might be a sign from the universe, that it's time for you

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to pursue that passion of yours called coaching. What? What I'm

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just gonna say, and if any of you are listening, you know, my

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husband, he just doesn't talk like that. But he said it once.

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And I heard it clearly. I certainly heard it clearly. And

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I said, Hmm, have I thought about that? I hadn't thought

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about that. I hadn't thought about it. It was in that moment.

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In that moment. When I started to see a new possibility. I

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started to see there was a new want, I started to see and we

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were still sort of in possibility and moving into one.

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And but it was an opening. It gave me permission. It gave me

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permission that question, have you thought, have you thought

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about this new desire? And at that moment it clicked in

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because I really believed I should go and get another job

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until I figured out what in the world I was going to do with

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coaching. Okay, I really, really, really, really thought I

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should I was in should up to my eyeballs. And thank God for my

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husband because he, in that moment, opened up a new

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possibility for me. And from that point on at that point,

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just about 30 days prior to certifying, I decided I was

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coach When I decided I was going to have a coaching business, and

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I decided I was going to help others with their desires, I

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decided. And then from that point, I got really clear on my

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purpose for being coach. Now, I had been in coach training,

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honestly for like, nine months already, something like that a

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long time. But it was with that question that it clicked in. And

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I decided that I was going to do another leap of faith and

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actually have a coaching business. This was way, way, way

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back when, okay, I had no idea how I had no idea how to start a

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business, I had no idea. I had no, I had no ideas about how,

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like, if I would have stayed there, I would probably still be

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at a big, right, I would probably design it because I had

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all the frame of reference there. Okay, by sticking with

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the desire, and getting clear on the purpose, I began to create

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something new for myself. And I got to tap into me being

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resourceful I got to tap into finding out how you start a

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business, figuring it out, everything's figure out a bowl,

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okay, everything's figured out a bowl, if you have the desire for

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it, everything is figured out double, if you have the desire

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for it. And so I got to the business of being in business as

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a coach, and I've never looked back. Now that journey has gone

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on and on in different ways. And I in fact, had a coaching

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business. And then I did a pause. And I worked at a

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training company and helped build a training company up

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during the time of a recession. Whoa, whoa, yes, we did that.

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Still really proud of that. And, and then, you know, had a desire

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to build some of my dreams and visions and things that I wanted

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to do in the way of impact. I'm telling you, if I would have

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kept shoulds. In any part of that, we wouldn't even have a

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podcast here today, I wouldn't even be telling you the story

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here today. And that's how powerful it is. And I get to

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look back, and I get to really see the impact that that has had

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on my life, both personally and professionally. And then let's

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kick that up a notch, the impact that it's had on other people's

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lives, personally and professionally. Let's kick that

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up a notch, the impact that's had on the people in their life,

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and so on, and so on and so on. Okay, whoa, I just gave myself

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some goosebumps thinking about that. And that's why I always

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say, get into your desire. Let go of shoulds. Let go of

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shoulds. I'll tell you what, when I first became a coach and

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I that I packed my desktop and I drove home. I was scared. I was

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so scared. I spent a few days on the floor in the front room,

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probably in tears. Definitely in tears. Like what am I supposed

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to do? I was really scared. It wasn't easy. I'm making it sound

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like it was easy. It was not easy. It wasn't easy. But I have

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the tools to do the work. And I also got help. I also got a

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coach to help me to help me get there. Absolutely. And I

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remember I had friends who were like, What are you doing? I had

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some friends who were like, Go on, go Kelly. And like all here

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for it. Not really maybe even understanding exactly what I was

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doing. Because I don't know that I really understood exactly what

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I was doing it. And I had some friends are like, Don't worry, I

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got you sending me job, you know, like job descriptions or,

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uh, you know, send your resume here, apply here, that kind of

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thing. Because, you know, back then none of us really knew what

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that was. I couldn't even articulate exactly what I was

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doing yet. So I just remember like, should I? Should I go

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ahead and apply for that job that my bestie sent me the, you

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know, the job description for? Should I like there was so many

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so many shoulds in there. And it never felt right. It never felt

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right. But what always felt right, was this desire to create

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impact with people that that always felt right. And so

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oftentimes, I had to put the shoulds aside as freaked out as

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I was, and really spent some time on what I wanted to create,

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which is one of the reasons last week I had to do that sort of as

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some homework to really get clear and do the things that you

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want. Because the more you do the things you want, the more

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you get into the habit, and the more you move forward. Okay, so

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that is that is a really pivotal part of my life where I really

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got to see where we connect to desire. And so I trust that this

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Dory gives you some value gives you some information as to the

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importance of desire. And where you can see that why I really do

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really talk a lot about get clear on what you want, get

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clear why you want it and get clear, most importantly, why

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that's important to you. Because it taps into desire and desire

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will move you forward. And desire versus willpower. No,

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thank you. There was no willpower that was building my

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business. But desire did. Desire did absolutely, absolutely. So

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tap in to what it is you want. Do that homework, and ask

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yourself why I want this. Why is this important? And then get

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some help. Get some help. Get a mentor, get accountability

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partner, get a coach, enroll in a class, something that's going

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to support you in moving forward with the things that you say you

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want, because it's important, you're important. We have this

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one precious life, what are you going to make of it? What are

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you going to create? I'm excited so you know where to find me on

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the website. You know, I have the link in the show notes. Tell

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me what it is you desire. Tell me why it's important to you.

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All right, I want to hear from you. Let's do this. Because

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Hello, we have a choice to lead in our life or follow our

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circumstance. And life is really and truly about knowing our

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passions, our purpose, our values, our desires, and

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creating that impact in our life and the life of others. And who

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emerges from that is taking the lead in their life

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authentically, being vulnerable, courageous, and creating so much

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more of what they want, because they're coming from desire and

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letting go of should. It never looks the way we think it's

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going to sow trust that more always gets revealed as we move

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forward. So take those pauses, let go of worry and doubt and

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live fully the best version of yourselves. Yes,

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please. Thank you for listening today. I know there was value

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for you. I cannot wait to hear what you're up to drop me those

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messages. I love hearing them. And let me know how you're

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taking the lead in your life. Also, remember, up lift her

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circle is on Facebook. It's a great place that we can stay

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connected, and work on your desires and forward movement,

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things like that. Check the website for another lift her

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cohort starting coming very soon. Always go to Kelly J mo

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beck.com. And see all the different ways we can work

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together because you know what? I'd love to help you create

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exactly what you want in your life. All right, you guys have a

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great week ahead. And you know the drill. If it's not shaping

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up the way you want it to take the lead and create a fantastic

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one. I'll talk with you next week. Take care. Thanks for

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listening to another episode of Let's be honest before we start

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pretending for more resources on taking the lead in your life,

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head over to Kelly J mobic.com. And connect with me on Instagram

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at coach Kelly Mobic. If this episode was helpful for you,

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please feel free to share it with friends rate and review it

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on iTunes. That's Apple podcasts now, and at any time feel free

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to connect with me and let me know what you want to hear next

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or what you're working on. I'm happy to help. Thanks again for

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listening. And here's to you taking the lead in your life.

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