In this episode, Kinsey is joined with special guest Rachel McBride, a parent coach who teaches parents strategies to connect with their teenagers. Rachel shares how she overcame the fear of not being credible and the hesitancy of putting herself out there. She talks about what it’s like to go against the grain of typical advice and how to share a gift that’s world-changing.
Discover the simple steps you can take to overcome imposter syndrome and amplify your impact using social media with your truest, most potent content (even if it doesn’t come natural to you).
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00:46 It is guest time once again here in the Captivate and Close podcast episode. It is Rachel McBride, and she is a parent coach.
02:21 Parents are struggling to connect with their teenagers. Teenagers are shutting down and pushing parents out.
02:36 She teaches parents strategies and ways to connect with their teenagers.
02:42 Parenting teenagers doesn't have to be awful.
05:12 Rachel is an advocate of loving your teenagers and actually connecting with them.
06:20 Do we really have to battle with our teenagers all the time?
07:08 For many years, Rachel worked in an early childhood education institution. She loved working with families, children, and parents. She was a parent educator and a director of a preschool.
07:35 Parents have so many questions.
08:38 With no disrespect in any way, but parents will say the same about a two-year-old who they feel is manipulating them.
09:14 Reframing parents thinking around teenager behavior and really digging deep into it.
10:35 Rachel shared her experience and relationship with her middle son.
11:26 Her son knows too. He feels that they have this disconnect and something has to give.
11:53 She wanted to connect with him and with their relationship. Where he will feel loved, seen, and understood.
12:15 And so it gradually changed the entire environment in their home.
12:52 It comes full circle in their house now that it is peaceful. Her children are cooperative and supportive of each other now.
13:22 They are more willing to meet their parent's expectations because they also feel respected and heard.
13:40 It is not having a perfect system, but rather shifting our perspective, operating in that perspective, and practicing it.
14:41 She’s hearing families who are struggling. Everyone is doing the same thing, everyone believes that parents have to take away teenage privileges to be heard and followed.
16:26 Rachel believes aware parenting will change the world and can change the next generation of humans.
17:58 There's a way to do this in a coaching program strategically with a framework.
17:40 And so she decided she wants to sign up for Kinsey’s Programs.
18:59 It really let her zone in on her own brilliance.
19:20 Just learning how to tell a story or to write it was a huge help for her.
19:53 She recalled doing the 30-Day Challenge with Kinsey, which was posting every day for 30 days. That made a huge help to her.
20:02 She evolved in those 30 days in a way she would have never imagined from the day she started. Her content changed dramatically.
20:35 People are reading, connecting, and engaging on her posts now.
21:20 Rachel shared how she was able to navigate her own fears, challenges, and her ownfrustrations when she started coaching.
21:54 As soon as she was able to speak out, lifting her credibility, lifting her expertise, more opportunities came.
22:53 But the big fear that she got all caught up was the stuff of if she is really credible.
23:21 There are things she doesn't believe in and was afraid to put out there at that time.
23:46 She knew if she tries to speak something else or put another language out there, it won't be sincere so it won't work.
25:01 It's definitely worth getting over those fears, though she still has them and still shows up from time to time.
26:07 Once she starts getting rhythm and steam, like having the feedback loop for clients and having that validation, then she starts to amplify her voice and amplify her volume.
26:55 Oftentimes, Rachels's clients will come to her at that real breaking point.
27:33 A lot of clients come to her when they really do feel helpless. What does she do?
28:15 A beautiful way to learn how to communicate and connect and create mutual respect, regardless of age.
26:26 This is really about how we collaborate and have compassion for each other.
29:15 It's so amazing to watch and to hear clients say it really is working.
31:03 It's not about coming down harder. It's not even about creating better discipline. It's about connecting more.
33:05 One of the first things parents need to do is to notice how they listen when their teenagers are talking.
33:59 Take that moment to notice how you listen to your teenagers. How can you listen to them so that they can feel seen, heard, and understood?
34:30 If you're going to observe and try to see things differently, then you're going to see it differently. It's that intention first, which brings awareness.
About the Guest
Rachel McBride is a mom of three and remembers the times when just the thought of living with teenagers frightened her. Now, it is Rachel's mission to support parents to feel confident about their parenting decisions so that they can stop walking on eggshells and start connecting with their teenagers.
With over 25 years of working with children and families, Rachel is prepared to share with parents how to get the respect and appreciation they desire while creating boundaries that stick. As a mom, she knows firsthand the feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and guilt and will walk alongside you with compassion to support you in creating harmony in your home.
You can connect with Rachel at her website: braveparentjourney.com
Free Facebook Group Love Your Teenager. Lose The Drama.
About the Host
Kinsey Machos, a Marketing Strategist, is also a recovering people pleaser, self-sabotager, and corporate hustler. She helps entrepreneurs create and execute magnetic marketing and build expert brands so that they can get known, seen, and heard online.
She believes that creating a business that’s 100% in alignment with SELF is one of the most important things that we can do as women — because there’s an inner magic that we all have if we commit to an infinite pursuit of discovering (and re-discovering) that.
As a wife and a mom of three, the family takes priority. And having a business that’s run AROUND her lifestyle is a daily intention of hers.
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Welcome to Captivate and Close. I'm Kinsey Machos, business consultant and marketing strategist. And I'm going to show you how to attract and enroll high-paying clients using my breakthrough online marketing strategies, all without having to rely on complicated funnels, disingenuous clickbait, or spammy sales tactics. These are the messaging marketing and selling secrets that virtually no one is talking about. So let's dive in. Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode. It's so good to be here with you. I have an incredible guest with me here today. And I'm so excited Rachel to have you. Rachel McBride, parent coach, Rachel, say, Hey,Rachel McBride:
hi, can we thank you so much for having me on here today. I'm so excited to meetKinsey Machos:
you. Hey, I am so excited to have you. I think this is long overdue. Rachel, I think that you are just such an incredible leader in your field. And I have always been so drawn to you and your work. And really what you emulate is something that I think more women need to see. And when you think of creating success in this industry, really being innovative, and also doing things differently. I think you've started to disrupt a little bit of your own industry. And that's really fun to watch. But I have just really enjoyed your journey. I think you came to us. Was it last year? Yeah. Okay, this is so good. And you had just finished? Well, first of all, before we dive in, you guys, at the time of this recording, we just had daylight savings time. And I am so backwards. I don't know, I just that one hour just does me a number. So I'm a little discombobulated, but we're gonna roll with it anyway. Rachel, real quick, why don't you tell the listeners who you are and what you do.Rachel McBride:
I'm a parent coach, and I help parents. I help moms reconnect with their teenagers. So many, you know, teenagers being a teenager is a real challenge. Nowadays, there's a lot going on. And parents are struggling to connect with their teenager, teenagers are shutting down, pushing parents out. And moms don't know how to connect, and they're often left feeling helpless and guilty and overwhelmed. So I'm here to help teach them strategy. There really are ways to connect with our teenagers. It doesn't have to be awful.Kinsey Machos:
That's so good. Yeah, having a teenager doesn't have to be awful. I love that. I love that. And you have really even just your own story. It's really inspiring. And I love how you, you are like you're very in integrity, right with what you do. And not to say you're perfect. And I think that is something too that comes up for a lot of people is like, Will I have problems or I make mistakes as a parent or I have problems as a business coach, I make mistakes in my business. Does that mean that I'm not good at what I do? Or is that mean that I can still call myself an expert? Like? Yes, yes, yes. But I know that sometimes that can creep. And I think we've actually had that conversation.Rachel McBride:
Well, it's true. And my kids are 10 12 and 14, or 12 14 and 16. And so I'm in it, I'm in the trenches. And I say to people, just you know, just because this is my work, it doesn't mean my teenagers have any magic dust sprinkled sprinkled on them, we're still living it. We're living in this society and culture as teenagers. And also I really enjoy them. And it's I know, it's possible to have these connections.Kinsey Machos:
Yeah. And I think what you have, which is what you give to others is the framework, the tools and knowledge to be able to coach yourself and work through the challenges that you have with your teenagers. It's not that you don't have them, right. It's not that you don't have the challenges, the mistakes, the problems or whatever, or the days where you're like who even are you. But you have the knowledge, you have the tools, you have the framework to really drive yourself to the other side of that where you can enjoy that. And I think that what I'm experiencing, even as, you know, with a 13 year old, which I never really considered that even though it's a teen, I thought maybe we would experience some of those teenage stuff, that teenage stuff like late like 15 16, but like 13 is hot and heavy. Like it's, I think, especially as a seventh grader, he's like, right in the middle in middle school, right? So he's starting to really have more of that independence. He just his curfew now is later than my bed. Like, I'm like, I want to go to bed at nine you need to be home at night not 10 But anyway, I digress. Um, and I think what I also had the realization is like he's only going to be in my house potentially for five more years. And I don't know Why I think you hear people say these types of things, but it just doesn't click with you until it does. And I think of you often because you have been such a huge advocate of loving your teenagers and like actually connecting with them and making them good years because it really is the tail end of what you get of them before they leave the house. But I think most people's experience and again, I'm not in, like I'm starting to journey on and I would say so far, good, but not but. And also I think what I'm hearing most people experiences like, ah, even when people make those little snarky comments are like, Oh, 13 Wait till they're 50. Like, oh, and it's just like that negativity. It's this whole stigma around teenagers, but I think we like your message is like, No, this should be a good time for you. Can you talk more about that?Rachel McBride:
Well, I just remember, gosh, when my when my children were toddlers or preschoolers all at the same time, I mean, people then would say, Ah, just wait until they're teenagers. Ah, and I bought into that. And I got really nervous. I was like, Oh, my gosh, so and then it was how trying to rationalize, how will I you know, I love them so much right now, how in the world in just 10 years, will I all of a sudden want to battle with them all the time and be how can that be true? Does that have to be true? So I really I but I fell for it for a little bit, right? And our society does that to us. And culture does that. And but I'm here to bring hope, say, really doesn't have to be that way. SoKinsey Machos:
that's so incredible. So let's talk about why you do what you're doing. Like, how did you get into this work? Because I think when you came to us, I think you had just completed maybe a certification program or some sort of experience. So tell us if you want to take us back to what was that journey? Like where you were like, Oh, I could do this? Or what was the realization that occurred that allowed you to really immerse yourself in your expertiseRachel McBride:
I've worked with in early childhood education, actually, for many, many years. And, and I've worked with families and children and parents, and just, I guess, in twenty seventeen, I was I was a parent educator, and a director of a preschool actually. And that's when I realized that I really loved diving into the parent piece and really connecting with parents. You know, parents have so many questions, and it's this. Am I crazy? You know, am I doing it? Right? Why can I do this, I thought it would be better all of those questions. And then, as I really started hanging out on the soccer field, and surrounding myself with parents who had older, you know, preteens and teens, it was the same thing. And what we noticed was we would talk about, like, when you have teenagers, all of a sudden, everyone thinks you should have it together, right? You've been doing this long enough, you should have it together, no one wants to say, Wow, this is really hard when when they were little there were support groups to support, you know, moms of preschoolers or whatnot. And so I realized, wow, and I also then was, you know, hanging out with these preteens and, and watching and observing moms with their big teams, and listening and, and it what's really amazing is how similar toddlers and teenagers are. And I'm not even saying I'm there's no like no disrespect in any way. But really, you know, parents will say the same about a two year old who they feel like is manipulating them. And, you know, I hear that from parents of, you know, teenagers as well, like, they're manipulating, they're manipulating, and I say, you know, really, they're, it's just all about them, it isn't about you at all, really, they don't wake up in the morning and want to manipulate you or make you angry, or, or make you so frustrated that you can't get through your day. That isn't their intention, it really is about them. And it's really similar to when they were toddlers, when you think about it that way. So I try to reframe parents thinking around teenager behavior and really dig deep into, you know, everyone is just trying to have their needs met. So what are what do they need? How can how can we meet their needs, right and support them?Kinsey Machos:
That's so good. And I think it's very true to in a sense of when they're starting to get into the teenage years, they're also starting to go through their bodies are changing. And so they're becoming more familiar with, or they're being introduced to, like new feelings and new emotion from like, as a toddler, like they're learning how to express themselves and I think that's a really good connection. And I do I see very similar behavior with my five year old than I do my 13 year old in different again, no respect. He's pretty mature. Very, very thought provoking like Very wise, but the way that he's trying to really navigate his emotions and experience them and express them is very similar to a five year old, also learning his way through the world. So I really love that connection. And when you started to really see, like, I think there was probably something that happened for you that you were like, Oh, I can see it differently than other people. What happened next?Rachel McBride:
I mean, I, you know, this the heart, the heart of this, for me, is my relationship with my son, my middle, my middle son, and I, we just, I couldn't understand him. I labeled him very early on as my difficult child, right. So then what did I see? I saw all the difficult things. So I labeled him as my difficult child, I, you know, even remember having a conversation with my husband, like, I need you to take like, you take him on, I can't take him on. Right. And, and it was Gosh, he was he was 10 years old, 11 years old. And I sat down with him before he went to bed. And I finally said, Can you give me one word to describe our relationship? And his little 10 year old self said, on agreeable on Agree, agreeable was his word, to describe, yeah, to describe our relationship. And I immediately was like, Oh, my gosh, like, he knows, too, he feels that we have this disconnect. And something has to give. And I, you know, I thought this event, it's me, it's up to me. I've known all these years that there that we are on agreeable, and that there was definitely a disconnect. And now I have to do I have to make some changes, because I was, I had always said, like, why would you ever come home for Thanksgiving? Once he moves out? Why would you come back for Christmas? Right? And, and I was afraid of that. And so I really wanted to connect with him and our relationship where he felt loved and seen and understood. Right. And, and that's, that was a lot, it took some work on my part and to really dig deep. And I did and things have, I mean, things have been full circle. And you know, what else it did? Is it, it changed the entire environment in our home. So right he was he was always fighting with his sister, they were angry at each other, it was awful and mean, all of the things were happening. And the moment that I really dug in again, what you know, realizing what he needed, which was connection time with me, how can I dive in and see things differently? How can I reframe my thinking around this? Instead of that he's difficult, what else could it be? And maybe he was just a child trying to have his needs met. And so really, we've just, I mean, come full circle in our house that really is peaceful, that they are cooperative and supportive of each other. There's no yelling and screaming, no one's yelling at each other. And like, it's just everything has changed. And you know, there's no punishing, like, teenagers are taking things away or grounding. There's just isn't any of that. And we also have boundaries. And we talk about, you know, how things out what the expectation is on our house and how things go. And they are more willing to meet those expectations, because they also feel respected and heard. And we talk something out. And and that's a practice. So that's what I do. I mean, it's just a practice. Yeah, we still do it.Kinsey Machos:
Yes. Yeah. I love this. Because what you're showing us is not having a perfect system, but rather really shifting our perspective. And then right operating the practices and the, you know, implementing the things that work in accordance to what your you know, what you desire to create, but it starts with like, what am I seeing, and who do I need to be? And I think that also plays out in any relationship or any business endeavor, or whatever that looks like, it's always about putting the finger back at yourself, which can be hard to win. I mean, it's definitely easier to just blame our teenagers, right? Like, it's their fault, but actually, it's not. And I love that you really represent that. So you had this really great, you started to see this transformation in your own home. And then was that sort of the time they're the indicator for you of like, Oh, I could help more people do this or like, walk us through what that realization was like for you?Rachel McBride:
Yes, again, it it was, Wow, this is happening. There is a shift does work. And I'm watching and hearing my friends who are struggling. I'm hearing families who are struggling, right everyone who's doing the same thing, everyone who believes that you have to take away their own. Here's the thing of taking away their phone work. You want to do it all the time. Doesn't work. I mean, it's in really we hang we hold so tight onto those beliefs and that's part of it really checking in and how much of this is what I Believe, and how much of this was what? How I was raised or what my mom may have said, right? It's what everybody else is doing. So I realized this and when it was working in my house, and I will now I have friends who say, you know, my, my teenager said to me, why can't you talk to me? Like Rachel talks to her son? Right? Why can't you do the thing like, you know, have this conversation that Rachel will have my friends? My friend, Rachel, we're waiting on you. We're gonna send all of our kids over so that you can have the sex talk with them, right? We can't have that conversation. I'm like, here's the thing, your teenager is already talking about it. So you should start talking. Oh,Kinsey Machos:
my gosh, isn't that true?Rachel McBride:
Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, it's that they are exposed to so much they have this technology, and these phones, they can run circles around us. You know, the social media, the danger, and that is real, there's a lot, you know, I just I working with a client last week, her daughter is receiving terrible messages and threats and things that, you know, peers are saying to her, she's 13. So these things, yeah, these things are happening. And I believe that we can connect, connect with our teenagers is so so important. And that is, and you know, it's like when you asked about my purpose, it's like, I believe in my core, this is what will change the world, I believe parenting will change the world change the next generation of humans.Kinsey Machos:
So beautiful. And, again, I can I always feel that energy from you and your content and your your clients results, which we'll talk about here in a minute. But so you had you were like, okay, like, there's a need for this. And then what because I think what I wanted to draw from you, which I think would be very inspiring for others is like, Okay, I have this one trend, because most of coaches, right, as coaches, consultants, what we're doing is we have a result or some sort of transformation ourselves, and we have this desire, like, I need to share this more people, right? But it can be so daunting, because that means I have put myself out there, I have to like actually sell I have to do all these things, right? And so I would love for you to just really share, like how you pivoted from that realization of like, oh, I can, like there's a need, I can help people with this, to even getting your first client. What did that journey look like?Rachel McBride:
Well, you're right, it was it was like, I was flustered. I'm like hearing him. I've all this great stuff, but I know it works out there. And I have to say can be I saw you on Facebook. And I decided to do one of your challenges. And I, I spent time with you. I was like oh my gosh, this finally makes sense. There is a way to get out there. There's a way to do this, like, you know, strategically with a framework because you're right, you go through sometimes you go through a coaching program. And then at the end, they give you a little bit of ideas of how to move forward. But then you're like, really? How do I do this? And so you know, I start wanting to offer it to all of my friends, right? My family and start there and then realize very quickly, oh, no, I don't really want to coach my family members, and so on. Right?Kinsey Machos:
That is so funny. And so true. Yes.Rachel McBride:
And so and so, you know, after I have tried to watch that challenge with you, I watched the mean a couple more things. And I decided I just wanted to sign up and do that time he was captivating close.Kinsey Machos:
We got Okay, so I didn't know you didn't you hadn't had signs before that point, then I,Rachel McBride:
I may have had just a couple but not No, not like I am now like I am now. And so because what that did for me, of course, is it really let me zone in on what is my Oscar? How do I you know, how do I say this to people? How do I get my message out there? So that I mean, that's been really, really helpful. That's a that was definitely a missing link for me. Yeah. You know, and just learning how to learning how to tell a story or to or to write was huge. It was really huge. I mean, there's been so much growth for me because of you. And what you know, and what I've learned and I, you know, I look at I'll even look at like my friends content. And I'm like, Nope, you need to have youKinsey Machos:
can like Coach it now. Right? Like, oh my gosh, I love that. That is so good. So judgy and Nope, this is not the right way Actually, I have a pointer for you. That is so good. I love it.Rachel McBride:
And you know and then there's still days. I remember you did the 30 Day Challenge and posting every day for 30 days. That was huge for me. It was huge in so many ways like I you know Right, you know, writing the content, and also being committed to it. And I think I evolved in those 30 days in a way I would have never imagined what I, the day I started. But I think my content change, and I would hear from people like I would go to the gym and someone would say, I read your stuff. It's so good. And the I would I pass, like a dad, dad, who says, I'm learning, like, I'm learning so much from what you're posting. And I was, and I keep thinking, wow. And it people are reading it, right? Because you sit in that space, you're like any is anyone reading. And so people are reading and then people are connecting, and I got a phone call from a friend who works at a school a few weeks ago, like principals looking for someone to have this conversation where you come in and do a parent workshop. So seeing out there is working and in on Sundays, it doesn't feel like it right. Sometimes you're like, Ah, yes, it right. We need to keep doing what you do. But I'mKinsey Machos:
so good. Rachel, can you talk about some of the fears that you had to overcome? Because I think that, again, what happens from that transition of, like, I know, I can help people. And also, right, there's this insane amount of fear. And I think even you've done such a beautiful job of navigating that because you've had your own fears and your own challenges of like, and frustrations just like we all do, and you navigate them so well can you share, because again, I think it would be encouraging for others to hear what fears you've had to overcome in order to get to the other side, because again, I'll just really drive this home is what you just articulated was like, the more that I showed up and spoke my truth, the more that I was hearing that feedback, right? Whether it was from like clients directly, or just people that were starting to see me differently, it was like that you were lifting, you were starting to speak out, right, lifting your credibility, lifting your expertise. And so you know, even more opportunities came, I know that you got a consultant opportunity even that came out as a result of you like showing up in that way. And so when you start to make those decisions that are in alignment to how you want to show up versus like circumstances, right? Well, my engagement slow, I don't know, if I should keep talking about what I do. Or, you know, I know that we hear a lot of these sort of, like noises of, of what could drive maybe you believing or not believing that success is possible for you. But you have to keep like showing up right showing up even when, and again, you do such a beautiful job of this. So just share what's maybe some fears that you've had to overcome or some limiting beliefs, see, then you have to navigate.Rachel McBride:
I mean, I think the greatest fear was, you know, who am I? David? Who am I? What am I? What do I know? Right? What is my training, you get all caught up in, you know, all the stuff what, what makes me still credible, really. So that was that was a big fear. And along with that was, and I learned through my writing is I do have a different belief in regard to teenagers, or connecting with teenagers. So when you know, when someone, you know, punishment, I always use as an example, because it's so huge. Everyone thinks they have to punish their teenagers. And I don't believe that, but I was afraid to put that out there for a bit, because who's gonna want to work with me when they clearly will be, you know, resisting me right off the bat. So I didn't know how to, to navigate that space. Right. And I remember you saying like, disrupt thinking, disrupt thinking, and then I would say to myself, but this is this is what I believe in my core. And if I'm, you know, if I'm trying to be something else, or put other language out there, it just doesn't mean so it won't work. But it was, you know, there would be days even during that 30 days, I would I would just post it. And then I wouldn't want to look back, I would even want to look and see Did I get any likes? Did anyone comment? I hope no one commented right? It was all of a sudden, I would send my friend a message and be like, okay, read it and let me know I may have triggered some people, right. And so I would worry about triggering people. What did that mean? I you know it as a parent coach, my fear really was what if my kids are on rack? What happens when my kids are a wreck? There's no guarantee that my kids won't be a wreck. And what if that happens when what do I do? And what do I hate? I'm just, someone's gonna say, you know, Rachel, you know, you you thought You thought you know, you thought this made sense. And what if it doesn't hate that and all of all of those, all of those fears? And yeah, and just decided to, to continue getting it out there. And I do I hear from feedback from people like I've been I'm learning so much like, oh my gosh, I am taking that deep breath. I can pause now. or I respond. And so, yeah, so it's, it's definitely, it's definitely worth getting over those fears. And and I still have them, and I still have them. Yeah, I thinkKinsey Machos:
it's just important to hear, right. It's like we're not a robot, like, none of us are immune to failures or limiting factors or those negative emotions or the fear, right, and just a constant navigation of how we respond to those fears. So thank you for sharing, I want to circle back to your clientele, and really sharing what and I will always stick out to me, we're on the phone together, and you made a comment of like, I get my planes, like my offer works, my clients are getting incredible results. And it's so good, right. And I think living in that energy as much as you can, as much as possible is the best thing you can do for yourself, right. And of course, sometimes you don't have that yet, as you're just getting going, you're not going to have that yet. So you kind of have to draw that inner energy, the inner belief, right to get going. But once you start getting rhythm and steam, you have the feedback loop for clients, and then you have that validation, and just like oh my gosh, like, and then you start to really amplify that voice amplify that volume. And it's so beautiful. But I would love for you to share some of the experiences that your clients are having. But starting with, like, where do people meet you? Or where do you meet them? When you first work with them? Or what is a good time for people to start working with you? Is it in between phases? Is it truly when they're starting to get more into 1314? Where are you ideally meeting them? And when is a good time for people to work with you? And how are you? Like what types of results are you seeing with in your clients? I would love for you to share?Rachel McBride:
Well, what I see is, often my clients will come to me at that real breaking point. Right? I had, you know, one of my very first phone calls with a client was I have full disclosure, Rachel, we just found out that our 15 year old is having sex, like we just found out this weekend and we don't know what to do. And so we really need your help. So that I mean that sometimes it's that, you know, I a client, new client last week was, you know, my daughter was so social media, like I don't know what to do. She's addicted. I don't know how to pull her back. I feel like we're absolutely disconnected. I feel helpless. So a lot of clients come when they really do they feel helpless. What do we do? We they there's they really don't know what to do they really feel like their hands are tied. And when they feel bad, then they're, you know, looking for some sort of support. And also, I've had a few clients who have preteen, you know? And you're right, because it is happening a little earlier. And we are seeing some signs and the exposure again, that they have in middle school when they're 1211. And 12. Even is different is different now. So I've had parents come who will say to me, Well, is it something I can do to be proactive? Or does does she have to be a teenager and I say, you know, again, because this is such a beautiful way to learn how to communicate and connect and create mutual respect. It doesn't matter the age I'll be honest, the truth is, it doesn't matter how old anyone is. This is really about how do we collaborate and have compassion for each other right that it's a lot it's a lot of it's a lot of work that will carry on throughout all of our relationships. So I see clients who who come for sure where they're like, oh gosh, I've tried everything. And you know, I've had I've had clients who have gone to therapy for years and have said to me, Rachel after after 12 weeks with you, this has been more effective than eight years of therapy. I've had more than one client share that with me. And that is that is when it's like wow, wow, this it really does. It really works. It really works and it's so amazing to watch and to hear I have a client who she went back and told one of her doctors the doctor noticed the change in her I asked her about it she said it was because she had been working with me. I connected with that doctor, she's that I want to I want to refer my patients to you. I saw such a change in our shared person that I you know, I would love to share your information.Kinsey Machos:
Oh my gosh, Rachel. This is an I love what you said about like we can change the world through our parenting because it is the next generation is coming in hot and I think that the day that we live in, it's sort of like, I'm just gonna bury my head in the sand. And that's really maybe that could work 2015 10 years ago, but what the problem is, there's too many that I think the influences the external influences are just amplified. Now you've got the social media. And then some. And also, I don't know, but the what I'm seeing, so I go, and I do, you know, lunch duty at my son's Middle School, once a week, and I, you know, sixth graders are getting caught smoking weed. And I see a lot of kids that aren't getting the attention. You can just tell I don't know, their family life. I don't know their parents, but I can just tell they're not getting attention at home. So they come and they get attention at school in different ways. Not positive, positively. But I'm just noticing, because I think back when I was 6/7 grade, like, I don't remember being privy to that stuff. But then again, I'm not really sure. So I think the more that we can get our hands on, not in a controlled way. Because I think this is what you're saying. It's like, it's not about coming down harder. It's not about creating better discipline. It's about connecting more, and I think they gift that our 13 year old has given us as you know, he's very articulate. So he can say things like, you haven't told me you loved me in like a day. And he's he just wants to feel seen. And I think he has he's articulate but and can express that he's very in touch with his feelings. But I know a lot of kids at that age are not. And so I think what you also talk about is like they're just wanting to be seen and heard. But like when we come in hot with this authoritative model, maybe old school parenting models, were suppressing a lot of that. But it's no doubt that this generation, they're going to be in charge one day. And we really need to fix sort of this generational pattern. I don't know it's, it's kind of scary, kind of exciting. But I'm so glad that we have people like you that are like really leading that which is a big, no pressure on you. What is something that we can walk away with it? I know a lot of our listeners are moms, they got tweens, teens, what are something that you could give to at least because of course, we're gonna include information and where you can find Rachel because you need to hire her if you are having issues or challenges with your team or preteen even. But what is something that even you could give our parents or moms to walk away with just something tangible to consider or to shift in, if they have preteens or teens, if they're starting to find a hard time navigating that, you know, the current state of how things are.Rachel McBride:
I love that. In one in one of the one of the things, you know, this is all in awareness. And it's just being it's having an awareness and then practicing and some days are better than others. So I always get Be gentle on yourself. When we learn these things. One of the first things I ask parents to do is to notice how they listen, when they're teenagers talking. Are you listening? And just into interest notice? Are you listening? And creating the answer in your mind before they're finished? Do you interrupt them? before they've even you know, finish their statement? Are you making judgments and assumptions? Just noticing how you listen? And that awareness can be life changing? And, you know taking it because often that's the challenge, right? It's kind of stopping and pausing. Notice how you listen, when I noticed how I listened, I realized that before they would finish their sentence, I would say no. Nope. And I was ashamed of myself. That's what I did. Taking that moment to notice how do you listen to them? And how can you listen to that they feel seen and heard and understood.Kinsey Machos:
That's so beautiful. I'm like, thinking I already thought about even this morning. And that's so good. I think it gives us so much pause. And also now and I think too, it's sort of like when you start to set the intention to see a white car. Now you're only gonna see white cars, right? And so when you set the intention of like, Oh, I'm going to observe this and see this differently. You're going to see it differently. It's like that intention first, which brings I think the awareness. So that's really good. Rachel, that was so beautiful. Oh my gosh, I feel like we could talk about this forever. Anything who it's top of mind for me. Lately, just obviously we're heading into those teenage years with our first and our tween is coming in hot behind him. And so it's just been and so far It really is just such a beautiful journey. And I think I have the gift to have hearing you and to just watching you and hearing how you talk about it, and also changing how I experienced my teenage years. And not wanting that to be their experience. But through the lens of how do I show up differently for them to change that experience, not trying to make them somebody that they're not. So I just really loved having you in my ear, when I'm just sort of like navigating this world. And I think you're such a gift to so many people and your mission is so huge. And I'm just so grateful that you are courageous enough to share it and put yourself out there and you're willing to lead to lead. And so that's, you know, it's no easy feat. So I just want to honor you and say thank you and sharing your time with us here today.Rachel McBride:
Thank you can be thank you so much. I really wouldn't be here without your support. So I appreciate you so much. Thank you so much.Kinsey Machos:
So where do you want? So we'll include links in the show notes. But where do you want people to find you.Rachel McBride:
I'm on Instagram, you can find me there at Brave parent journey. And on Facebook, you can hop in and join my Facebook group called Love your teenager lose the drama side. And it's easy to connect with me there. My website is also break parent journey and you can you know pop in there and schedule a call. I'd love to chat. It's so nice to just connect with people and talk you where they are. So definitely I'm available than that.Kinsey Machos:
Okay, girl, thank you so much for being here. This was so fun.Rachel McBride:
Thank you KinseyKinsey Machos:
Hey, you, thank you so much for listening. It's an honor to be able to pour into the hearts and minds of like minded entrepreneurs all over the world. But my most favorite part is being able to connect with you in real life. If you love what you heard here, head over to the community where thousands of female CEOs, just like you are changing the world one human at a time. We go deeper into the topics you discuss here and give away tangible roadmaps to help you crush your revenue goals to join this high caliber free community head over to kinseymachos.com/community. I'll see you there