What do you actually say when your kid asks how you're voting?

This is the Friday companion to Tuesday's episode on political approval-seeking. Heather makes that thought experiment small enough to carry through the week: one word, one two-minute action, one urge to resist at the table, and one line to say to your kid that could change how safe they feel.

In this episode, you'll learn how to:

• Reframe "hovering" as motion, not failure to decide
• Check your voter registration and claim your vote out loud
• Resist the urge to lecture or correct at the table, even when you're right
• Say the one line that tells your kid questions won't cost them your love

Press play for four small ways to carry Tuesday's question through the week ahead.

Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!

Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Stay informed - visit my website

Join the Conversation on Substack

Read my book, Parenting with Pride.

Support the Show - Learn more here!

Watch on YouTube

Listen * Share * Review *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!

This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.

At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.

For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.

Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.

More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.

In today's episode, you will learn what to do when your kids ask you how you'll vote.

Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening.

I'm Heather Hester, and here we talk about fear, belonging, boundaries, courage, love, and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process.

Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed.

They need a parent who is grounded and strong.

Let's take a breath and let's begin.

Welcome to More Human, More Kind.

I'm Heather Hester.

Today we are taking Tuesday's thought experiment and making it small enough for you to have with you every single day and to contemplate in different ways.

You will get one word to reframe that space between who you were and who you're becoming.

You'll get a two minute action you can do anytime.

You'll get one urge to resist at the table this week and a single sentence to stay say to your kid that could change how safe they feel.

In talking to you about all of this on Tuesday, I shared a story I've never told on this show in quite this way.

The day my daughter Isabel asked me to promise her something and how it pushed me to finally answer a question I'd been avoiding for quite some time.

I also offered you a thought experiment to sit with.

If you haven't heard that episode yet, go back and listen to it first.

First, because this one will mean a lot more once you have.

I remember being stunned.

I keep coming back to feeling that into that line because being stunned is its own kind of gift, right?

It's the moment the ground shifts just enough that you can't pretend you didn't feel it.

I didn't change my mind in that instant, but I couldn't unhear her either.

It felt like a little jolt through my entire body.

My heart rate increased.

My stomach felt all fluttery and nervous.

Like all physical signs that were saying, hey, pay attention.

This is really important.

If Tuesday's questions stunned you a little, even quietly, I want you to know that's not a sign that something is wrong.

It's a sign that something is moving.

So the word this week is hovering.

I used it on Tuesday to describe where I was when Isabel said that to me.

Still hovering in that am I still a Republican space.

For a long time, I thought hovering meant I was failing to decide that I was being wishy washy.

And in my most harsh moments of self reflection or more accurately, self flagellation that I was a coward.

Now I see it differently.

Hovering is what happens right before a threshold moment.

It means you've already left the ground you were standing on, even if you haven't landed yet.

So if you are hovering this week on politics or anything else, call it what it is.

You are in motion.

This week's tiny action is to check your voter registration and make a plan to vote.

This one takes only two minutes.

Go to vote.org or your state's election website and check that you're registered at your current address.

Registration deadlines vary by state and some have already passed or are coming up very soon.

So do it today.

Then, once you've confirmed, say this out loud, this vote is mine or my vote counts.

Say it again when your sample ballot shows up, and again when you walk into that booth or seal your envelope.

Remember Tuesday's first question, Whose approval is my vote seeking?

This is how you start answering it out loud in your own voice.

As I mentioned also on Tuesday I talked a lot about mealtimes and mealtimes being my father's pulpit, so to speak.

This week, when politics come up at your table and this close to an election, they will resist the urge to lecture or to correct or to win, even if you're right.

Especially actually if you're right.

Ask your kid one open ended question instead and then let them finish their answer.

This isn't staying quiet, it's being curious.

It's being willing to see something from a different point of view.

You don't have to agree.

Your job as a parent isn't to raise sheep, it's to raise kids who can critically think.

And that's what dinnertime conversations like this allow.

It's the opposite of the table that I grew up at.

And that is the whole point.

And then finally, I want you to say this to your kids.

You can ask me anything about this and I won't let you love you any less for asking.

I grew up believing and feeling that love was earned by my behavior.

This line is the reversal of that.

It tells your kid that questions, disagreement, even tears like Isabel's won't cost anything with you use that sentence exactly as is you can ask me anything and I won't love you any less for asking.

I've added a new piece to this episode, the Butterfly Effect episodes, because it really just fits so beautifully.

Each week I read a listener review.

I'm so, so grateful when people take the time to share their thoughts about the show and I thought this would be a really fun way to give people a shout out.

This week's review is from Ross E. Lin.

Five stars.

So thankful that I found this podcast.

I love Heather's practical advice and suggestions for next steps.

She's steady, thoughtful, and trustworthy.

I've learned a lot from her, and I'm thankful that she continues to share such wonderful resources, insights, and affirmations.

Thank you so much, Ross Elin, for sharing that for taking the time to share that review.

If this show has helped you feel a little less alone, a little more brave, or a little more ready for the next hard conversation, would you please leave a review wherever you listen?

It helps other parents find us, and I read every single one.

I'll see you next Tuesday for a new episode.

Until then, keep choosing to be a little more human and a little more kind.