Leigh Ann: Well, welcome back everyone to The Accrescent Podcast. A couple of housekeeping items that I wanted to start with today just cuz there's some fun updates for The Accrescent coming. First of all, I am still recovering from this cough that just will not go away. It's been like three weeks now, so I am a little gravelly and I apologize.

Hopefully it won't be hanging on too much longer. I did a little poll on Instagram and a lot of you guys were sending in some really great recommendations for a lingering cough, so thank you so much. Those have been really helpful. I'm definitely gonna try some of those out. The first thing I wanna start with is announcing that.

The ZYTO Hand Cradle rental program is now available, and this is kind of in the beta phase. That's what I'll call it because, you know, I'm testing this out. I've never done a rental program before, but it's really, really important to me to try and make EVOX as accessible as possible. And for remote clients there's a little bit more logistics involved.

Remote clients need to get that ZYTO hand cradle to do remote scans, and they also need to be able to have access to a Windows computer in order to run the Evox software on the computer. So I know that adds upfront costs a little bit, and my hope is that this hand cradle rental program will allow individuals, first of all, if you've never tried EVOX and you're remote to be able to try EVOX with less risk to you and

less upfront cost because you'll be able to get that rental for a really great, affordable monthly price. But if after your first session you feel like, you know what, EVOX isn't really for me, then you can just send back the hand cradle, the rental, the subscription will be ended, and that's it. Super easy peasy

vice versa. Let's say you do know you wanna do EVOX , you maybe you've done it before. And you need to get a hand cradle for yourself to do remote sessions with me. This will still allow you to basically purchase the hand cradle, but kind of on a payment plan, cuz really it's a rent to own program. So it'll be a low monthly price, but after 12 months, the subscription just ends and you will own the hand cradle outright.

Now if any point in time during that 12 months, you wanna return the hand cradle and end the subscription. You absolutely can. That's the hope is that this will make remote sessions much, much more accessible. Um, right now it's, this is what I'm trying to figure out. So if anyone has suggestions, I would love to hear it.

Because the rental program, there's more risk to me and it's also more labor intensive. I've gotta keep track of these rentals, who's where if people are sending them back, figuring out shipping, all these different things. And so I'm hesitant to make this publicly available to just anyone right now. The ZYTO Hand Cradle Rental is password protected on the website.

And the reason being is my hope is to be able to offer this rental program to individuals interested in doing EVOX with me personally, rather than, you know, just anyone out there who needs a ZYTO hand cradle for anything. Just because I think that'll, that'll be really hard to maintain. So right now there's a password you can reach out.

You know, I might play with this. I might make it just publicly available and see how I can keep it still with clients without having to put that password on it. So again, beta program, still figuring it out. But if you are interested in a ZYTO hand cradle rental, definitely reach out via email at the, so support@acrescent.com that's on the website.

You can find the contact information there as well. And let me know, I can give you the passcode and share any other information you might need about that. Okay. The other bit of news or updates that I wanted to share is related to the podcast, and this has been like my Achilles heel is figuring out what is the frequency with which I want to release episodes.

And I feel like I have just, I'm trying to be overly ambitious. I'm trying to keep pace, I think with some of the bigger shows who are releasing. At least two, sometimes even three episodes a week. I think I've just had this subconscious block, the subconscious belief that I need to be there and enforcing myself to be there.

It's actually hurt my ability to do that consistently. And I'm much more concerned now with being consistent than just pushing out a bunch of podcast episodes just to try and keep up. And so what I've sort of come to, at least for now, and if, if anyone's followed the show for a while, you'll know that it's ever evolving.

It's very fluid But, for now and for the foreseeable future, the plan is to release episodes once a week. And I'm also playing with the idea of, should episodes be going up Friday? Should they be going up Monday? When you know, when is the best day for you guys as the listeners to have that one episode go up?

So if you have feedback on that, I would definitely love to hear that. But all that to say that, Whatever that day does become, that episodes are released. It'll be a mixture, so it'll still be a mixture of me doing solo episodes, maybe doing some of my EVOX episodes that I was doing last year, and then it'll also be a mixture of my guest interviews with some experts as well as my conversations with Diana in the curiosity and querencia conversations.

Hopefully more of those to come. So you know once a week there will be an episode, but you never know what you're gonna get. Could be a solo episode, could be a guest interview, could be a friendly conversation with Diana. Could be a client interview. But I just think that is what I'm going to be able to do sustainably, especially now that my client load is getting, bigger I guess more and more clients are coming in for EVOX , which I'm so, so grateful and excited about.

My time in between is getting less and less to be able to record episodes, so I think this is just again, gonna allow me to be able to be consistent, but also continue to keep it very high quality and be really intentional about what I'm releasing each week. Okay, so on to more of the core content for today.

It's funny because on the one hand, the year started off really slow, as it usually does for me. And then on the other hand, it also kind of started off with a bang, and so I wanted to share some of the updates from January, like I can't even believe we're in February already, but some updates from January because

it turned out to be quite eventful, although nothing that I was anticipating. So the first half of January was really, again, kind of easing into the year. But basically what happened the last two weeks is I ended up very spontaneously going to two different professional soccer tryouts in completely different states in the country, and

it's funny because, and the reason I wanna share this is I had some epiphanies that came out of these experiences and so it's kind of important to give a little bit of the backstory. And so on that note, basically what happened was in mid-January on a Saturday, I happened to get this kind of intuitive nudge to go search if any professional tryouts had been announced again.

Now, mind you, since September of last year, I had been searching almost daily to see if any professional teams were going to announce tryouts and was doing, you know, prep work, trying to get back in shape. I think I was pushing myself too hard and kept injuring different body parts from trying to get super, super fit too fast.

All that said, I got this intuitive nudge to go search for tryouts and by chance, one of the professional teams in the United States in the NWSL had announced an open trial in Louisville, Kentucky. And it was a week from that day, and I was like, Oh my God, this is so crazy. This makes no logical sense, but I feel such a deep conviction that I need to register and I need to go to this tryout.

So basically on the drop of a dime, I registered for the tryout. Paid for that, was booking flights, booking hotels, planning logistics. You know, trying to figure out how I could still do this with clients. Do I need to move some people around? Get out to Kentucky. A great experience. It was 30 degrees. I was running around playing soccer in 30 degree windy weather.

The second day of tryouts, it was snowing so hard, they actually had to cancel it all together. And then while I was in Kentucky, I found out that there was another open tryout happening with a professional team in Houston. The Houston Dash. Again , one week from that day. So I get back from Kentucky, it was a whole nightmare.

The flights coming back, everything was delayed, canceled, had to rebook, all these different things, get back right back into a full week of seeing clients and at the same time now booking flights that I'm literally gonna be getting on in two days. Booking hotels, figuring out transportation, all the things to go fly out to Houston for this open tryout.

Now to answer your questions, no, I did not make either team and there really was no expectation that I would, it would have been such a miracle to make those teams because I' m just still so outta shape, haven't even played with a team in five years. And so I do think those factors considered. I was really proud of how

the level that I was able to play at, but both experiences were so expansive for me to be able to really see and feel with my own eyes and body, the level that I need to get back to. And I think that was one of the points I wanna highlight in this episode is, you know, it would've been so easy for me to go, okay, logically it makes no sense to go to these tryouts.

I'm not gonna make the team, so why would I go? But maybe there's another purpose they can serve. Maybe there's other lessons that they can teach me. Maybe there's other ways this experience can inspire and expand me outside of just getting picked for the team. And that was certainly the case here.

Now was I still a little bummed because there was a tiny piece of me that hoping magically somehow I'd make the teams, of course. And it was interesting to feel. That rejection that I really haven't felt in many, many years. But all that said, I really had to sit after the Houston tryout kind of after that whole, those really hectic two weeks.

I was like, okay, I have so much more information now about this thing that I've said I wanna pursue. Now let me revisit this. Do I still wanna pursue this? Now that I see the level that I need to be at to even. To just be able to compete, to even just get on the radar. Is this still something I wanna do?

And I think initially after the Houston trial, I just was, I was so bummed that I initially was like, I don't know if I wanna do this. I don't know if I wanna work that hard. I don't know if I wanna train another year, day after day after day, and then try and come back only to be rejected again a year from now.

And it, it just sent me down this whole really great spiral of different thoughts of, yeah, what is the resistance here? What is the aversion, what is the threat? And I realize the threat in my mind is, I don't want to expose myself that much. I don't wanna give that much. Unless I know it's gonna pay off in the end, and I just had to laugh at myself because you know, it's important to realize that's what's going on inside.

But I was then quickly able to get into conversation with myself and go, yeah, but that's not how life works. There is no assurance. And that is why it's scary. And that actually is why so many people don't pursue their dreams because there is no assurance at the end of it. And I don't wanna give 110%. I don't wanna come out publicly saying that I wanna do this unless I know it's gonna happen.

And then find out a year from now after I was grinding and pushing myself and challenging myself and sacrificing, and all these different things, building up my hopes and dreams, only to just be let down so desperately it's like, The more you give when you're all in, the harder it hurts, the deeper it cuts when you don't achieve whatever it is you were pursuing.

And I really had to make peace with that in my own mind and go, what do I really have to lose here? Here I am saying, I don't wanna put in all this work. I don't wanna put in all this effort unless I know at the end it's going to pay off. And that feels like a loss.

That feels like a failure. But what do I really have to lose? If I spend a year giving 110% towards this goal and it still doesn't work out, you know, is there anything I will regret in that? And I. What helped me is that at the end of that, the answer was no. I really don't have anything to lose other than some time and some money because yeah, it will.

It will take time. It will take dedication to train consistently to get myself to that level. It will take money to find trainers who can help get me to that level. But will I really regret, let's say a year from now, open tryouts are announced again next January, and I don't make it again. Will I actually regret having spent a year improving my fitness, getting back into the sport that I love so much?

I don't think so. Will it hurt? Yes. And will it hurt even more because I gave 110% to try and make it happen? Absolutely. But I remember even being a little girl and realizing to experience the high highs of joy, you have to be willing to experience the low lows of pain. And I made a very conscious decision that the high highs are worth it.

I don't wanna be stuck in neutral. I don't wanna be stuck in the vanilla, neutral, middle of emotion. Never, never, never experiencing deep pain, but never experiencing. deep joy either. The deep joy is worth the moments of deep lows and deep pain. And that was kind of the, you know, that was what I brought back into this experience of, yeah, it might really hurt, but it's gonna be so worth it in the end, even if the ultimate dream isn't achieved.

And if that happens, then we reassess everything again and we pivot from there. But I know I'm not gonna regret giving it my all.

I think a big takeaway for me too is that I, again, there's such an intuitive conviction that I need to be back in this sport, and soccer needs to be a part of my life. And I still don't know to what capacity I might get to the end of this road and realize soccer's gonna be a part of my life, but it's not gonna be in the capacity of being a professional player.

Maybe it's that this whole road ultimately leads me to doing EVOX with professional soccer teams. I don't know. All I know is that right now the nudge in my heart is telling me I need to be back in this sport. I need to be. I need to be right where I am, honestly. And even without knowing what the ultimate destination is for this journey, I know these steps I'm taking are the right next steps to take.

And that is honestly how my entire life has unfolded. That is honestly how I've gotten to where I am today, is following the nudges, following the intuition. And I can honestly tell you that every decision, every big pivot I've made in my life, I never knew what the end destination was going to be.

I just knew, again, I had that deep conviction that this next step is the right step, even though it's maybe pulling me away, pulling me onto a different path I've been on before. I know that this is the right next step, and each of those little steps has collectively led me to where I am today. And I had to take those pivot steps to get here, but I couldn't have told you two years ago, three, four, ten years ago that this is where I would be today.

And I think maybe that's specifically how I work and how I function. I don't necessarily think that's universal. I don't necessarily think that's how it works for everyone, but I have found that is the pattern of my life and it's a good pattern and I love it. But the more I can lean into that trust, trusting those nudges, trusting that intuition and not letting fear hold me back from those things, I'm really feel myself being called to.

I think another epiphany that kind of came out of that whole experience that I literally just stumbled upon today as I'm recording this is I found myself, because I came back, I think it was Saturday, and so Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday this week, I found myself going into that place that I go into that's kind of tunnel vision.

It's like I'm shutting everything down in my mind. I'm really pulling inward. And it was like, not, not really dissociation, but I think it was leading there. What I realized is that's a pattern I've been aware of, and I think what really hit me for the first time today is that the subconscious belief associated with that pattern is when I am tired, when I'm burnt out, when I'm overwhelmed, when I'm depleted.

The only way to recharge myself is to completely shut down, is to go from a hundred to zero. It's either on or off. There's no in between. And I think that's the best way that I could describe how I was starting to feel this week. I think my subconscious was wanting to pull me into that old pattern of just completely shutting down so that I could recharge.

I wasn't even feeling stressed, I just was tired. You know, two weeks of tons of traveling, last minute traveling, change of plans, lots of long flights, it's just depleting. And um, I don't think I had ever quite made that full connection cuz normally I think the dissociation comes up really strong and heavy in moments of stress and dysregulation and I maybe haven't been able to see that.

It also comes up in moments of just exhaustion and depletion and that, yeah, that there was that subconscious belief there of this is the only way to recharge. But it was so freeing because I was able to just, again, have some inner dialogue with myself and go,

" Oh I, I don't need to turn off. I don't need to shut down."

I don't need to stop life from moving to recharge, I can still recharge while still being engaged in life, while still being engaged in my relationships and my business, et cetera. And the analogy, cuz you guys know by now, I love my analogy, is, the analogy in my mind was like, after you do a whole, let's say you just ran a marathon.

The feeling is, oh, I'm so tired. I just ran this marathon. I need to recover. And previously what I was doing is I need to recover. Okay, I'm going to go in my home alone, kick everyone out, shut the door, lock it, pass out on the floor, and wait until I feel a hundred percent again. And then I'll get up, open the door, let people in, and start interacting again.

But the reality is, when you run a marathon or do any kind of intense physical activity, actually what's gonna help you recover quicker is if you don't do that, is if you take the time to stretch afterwards, have a good nourishing meal, maybe do an ice bath, do some other recovery modalities. Yeah, et cetera.

That is what is actually gonna help you recharge and restore quicker. It's not going from a hundred to zero. The difference is it's, you know, in my mind I was like, it's going from maybe like a hundred to 30 instead. And again, like you guys know, I love my analogies and I think for me the visualization of it really helps the idea click in my brain.

And that felt really freeing because again, in the past I would really find myself in a place of dissociation where I just kind of, yeah, shutting everything out. And I would be there for days, weeks, and, you know, many, many years ago I could have been in that place for months. And so the fact that I maybe just felt the earliest, earliest beginnings of that pattern creeping in and was able to catch it so soon and then immediately pivot myself out of that is, so exciting.

I just love that so much. Sometimes the way I describe EVOX is the negative patterns or the limiting patterns that we're trying to break, whether it's overeating, overspending, picking fights with people, anger issues, whatever it might be, it's like a magnet pulling us into this behavior and modalities like talk, therapy, counseling, whatever it might be, I think are amazing at helping us become aware of the magnet. But I think a lot of the messaging there is great. Now you see this magnet. Now you can just fight against it for the rest of your life. And look, that's important. It's important to be able to bring awareness to the pattern cuz I think many of us were initially, we're just so in the pattern that we don't have any awareness around it.

We don't even realize we're in the pattern. What EVOX does is it, not only can it help make us aware of what is the limiting pattern, I'm stuck in. It can break the magnet altogether. So rather than spending my whole life, oh, okay, I see this pattern. Let me, let me white knuckle it, let me armor up against it and fight against it.

No, no, no. I'm not gonna get pulled into that pattern. Instead of having to do that the rest of our life, it's like, no, we've cleared that magnetic pole completely. It's just gone from my aura, from my ether, from my subconscious. I don't even need to consciously fight against that anymore. Now that's the ultimate end game.

The progression of it is exactly kind of what I've highlighted in my own journey is, you know, right now, for example, that pattern of dissociation isn't 100% gone, but it is 90, truly like 80, 90% better than what it used to be. This is why some of the things I track with clients is often, what is the frequency with which this pattern is showing up?

What is the intensity? What is your awareness around it, and what is your ability to pivot out of the pattern? And those are kind of the four things that we will generally track with a pattern. Because usually what starts to shift first is our awareness. I'm now much, much more aware of the pattern, but I'm still not able to pull myself out of it.

And so ultimately, we , you know, ultimately, again, we get to a place where hopefully the pattern has just completely gone from our ethers , but it's really amazing to see that progression and go, whoa, you know, for me, two years ago I would've just been in this pattern of dissociation and not even realized it for two months.

And, then maybe a year later it's like, oh, okay, this dissociation used to show up for me two, three times a month. Now it's showing up for me once a month and my ability to pivot myself out of it was a zero. But now my ability is 80% of the time I can pivot myself out of this pattern.

Whereas before 0% of the time I could pivot myself out of this pattern. So again, those are just some of the things. When the pattern starts to clear there's a sense of freedom. Honestly, that is the best way that I can describe it, at least for me, freedom and lightness of, oh my God, I don't feel trapped by this thing anymore.

I don't feel at the mercy of this thing anymore. I actually feel like the one in control and free and autonomous from this thing that just felt like it was running my entire life. And that is, One of the best feelings in the world, truly. So that's it. Short and sweet today, although, I mean that still was almost about 30 minutes, I think.

I just wanted to again, share some of those updates about the hand cradle, about podcast frequency. If you guys have preferences on what day that weekly episode goes up, I would love, love, love to hear that. I had some fun updates that I wanted to share about those professional tryouts, some of the lessons learned from that.

I definitely have some more guest interviews coming your way, and then I think I'm probably gonna start doing a couple more of the EVOX episodes on some really specific topics coming up. So lots to come. What a great year it's been so far. I hope it's the same for you. And until next week.