Janine’s new car seems not to have been a mistake—even if maintenance may someday require a trip to Chicago. That gets us talking about the very different feeling when you do realize you’ve messed something up: the sinking stomach, the panic, the self-recrimination, and sometimes a strong desire to pretend it never happened.
Shannon’s missed physical therapy appointment turns into a bigger question about why mistakes—and even simply not doing something when you intended to—can make it so much harder to take the next step. Soon there are tasks that keep moving from one week’s list to the next, Janine’s months-long avoidance of creating a procedure that ultimately took virtually no time, and a “seven-layer dip of dread” built around a job Shannon estimates might take fifteen minutes.
Somewhere in there, we start teasing apart what makes moving forward feel so hard and what might make it easier. And then Janine comes up with a much more appealing name for those lingering tasks: Opportunities for Achievement. Somehow, that makes all the difference.
What We Talk About
- 02:48 — That sinking, panicky feeling that can come with realizing you’ve made a mistake
- 03:05 — Shannon misses a physical therapy appointment—and briefly considers pretending it never happened
- 05:36 — Why mistakes can make it so much harder to go back, face the person involved, or keep moving
- 06:35 — The utility bills Shannon keeps carrying forward on her task list as the task gets bigger and more unpleasant in her mind
- 08:27 — Janine’s months-long avoidance of creating a procedure that ultimately took virtually no time
- 10:18 — Looking at what a dreaded task actually requires—and Shannon’s “seven-layer dip of dread” around a fifteen-minute job
- 12:23 — Shifting the focus from personal discomfort to making life easier for someone else
- 14:27 — Rewards, self-recrimination, background stress, and the birth of an “Opportunities for Achievement” list
Key Takeaways
- Mistakes can bring embarrassment, panic, and self-recrimination that make the next step harder than the original problem.
- Repeatedly moving the same task from week to week can make it grow much larger and more unpleasant in your mind than it is in reality.
- Even a task that has already been simplified with templates, instructions, and systems can still accumulate plenty of dread.
- Thinking about how getting something done helps another person can shift the focus away from your own discomfort.
- Changing the language—like going from a list of things you haven’t done to “Opportunities for Achievement”—can change how the whole thing feels.
The Bottom Line
For most of us, a mistake can bring embarrassment, self-recrimination, and that sinking feeling that makes us want to avoid the whole situation. And when the “mistake” is simply not doing something when we meant to, every day of avoidance can add another layer of dread. Looking at what the task actually requires, remembering who benefits when it gets done, and changing the language around it all seem to make moving forward feel easier. By the end, “Opportunities for Achievement” sounds a lot better than a list of things we’ve failed to do.
Want More Like This?
Episode 228: Managing Mistakes
Janine shares a big mistake she made and how she dealt with it, including apologizing, moving on, and trying not to spend more time and energy on the mistake than necessary. It’s a particularly close companion to this episode’s questions about what happens after you realize you’ve messed up.
Episode 165: The Power of Language
Words matter—and sometimes a small change in language changes the way something feels. Shannon and Janine talk about replacing “need to” with “choose to” and other subtle reframes, making this a natural match for the newly christened “Opportunities for Achievement” list.
Episode 104: Try Compassion
Shannon and Janine explore how hard we can be on ourselves and the idea that we somehow need that harshness to keep from repeating mistakes. It connects especially well with Shannon’s realization that part of her seven-layer dip of dread is feeling she doesn’t even deserve a reward for finally getting the task done.
Connect With Us
We’d love to hear from you. What’s it like for you when you make a mistake? Are you able to keep going? Do you need an Opportunities for Achievement list?
