You Can Love Fiercely and Still Be Running on Empty: A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids in Burnout
Episode 293 •
3rd July 2026 • More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human • Heather Hester | Advocate for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
You don't need a complete overhaul to start recovering from ally burnout. You need one small, doable thing.
Interest: This week's quick follow-up to our episode on ally burnout and compassion fatigue gives you something tiny and real to carry into your week, no grand gestures or new routines required.
Desire: In this episode you'll learn how to:
Name your own stress pattern out loud, in one sentence
Protect one non-negotiable need like it's non-negotiable
Hold onto a single line that quiets the guilt when it creeps back in
Action: Press play to find one small thing you can actually do this week, not just think about.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Transcripts
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On Tuesday, we talked about Ally burnout, the kind of tired that sleep doesn't fix, the compassion fatigue that comes from loving someone through a hard season.
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We talked about how that exhaustion isn't a sign you're failing your kid, it's evidence of how much you love them.
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And we talked about how burnout doesn't always look the same from person to person.
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How you might be the one researching at 2am and your partner might be the one going quiet or getting flashes of anger or insisting everything's fine when it just isn't.
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Today's a shorter one.
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Just a few small things to actually carry into your weekend.
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Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening.
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I'm Heather Hester, and here we talk about fear, belonging, boundaries, courage, love, and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process.
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Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed.
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They need a parent who is grounded and strong.
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Let's take a breath and let's begin.
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Welcome to More Human, More Kind.
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I'm Heather Hester.
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Before we get into it, did anything from Tuesday's episode resonate with you?
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Maybe you recognized your own pattern for the first time.
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Or maybe you realized you and your partner have been falling apart in two different directions without either of you naming it.
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Maybe you just felt for a few minutes like someone finally said the thing out loud.
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Whatever it was, I want you to know noticing is part of the work and you don't have to fix it.
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Today, your word of this week is tending.
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Not fixing, not solving, but tending.
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The small, quiet act of caring for something so it can keep going.
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You can tend to your kid.
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You can tend to your marriage.
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And this week I want you to try tending to yourself the same way you'd tend to someone you love.
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Small, consistent, no grand gestures are required.
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Your tiny action for this week is to name your pattern out loud just once to one person.
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Just once this week.
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Not a whole conversation, not a deep processing session.
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Just I think I go into research mode when I'm scared or perhaps think I shut down when I'm overwhelmed.
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Say it to your partner or a friend, or even just out loud while you're driving by yourself in the car.
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Naming it is the whole action here.
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That's it.
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Your micro rebellion this week is to protect one.
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Non negotiable.
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Like it's medical, not option.
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Pick one.
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Sleep, a meal, 10 quiet minutes before you walk in the door and treat it the way you'd treat a doctor's appointment.
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Something you don't cancel just because the day got hard.
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That's the rebellion.
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Refusing to treat your own basic needs as the first thing that gets sacrificed.
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And here's your one line to tuck into your pocket until you need it.
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You can love fiercely and still be running on empty.
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One does not cancel the other out.
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You can love fiercely and still still be running on empty.
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One does not cancel the other out.
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Steal that line for the next time.
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The guilt creeps in.
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The guilt that says being tired means you're not grateful enough or strong enough or doing it right.
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You're allowed to be exhausted and devoted at the same time.
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Most of us are.
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That's it for this week.
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Small actions, not a whole overhaul.
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If you try the tiny action, naming your pattern out loud, I'd love to hear how it landed.
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You can always find me in the Kindred collective community if you want to talk it through with people who get it.
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Until next time, keep choosing to be a little more human and a little more kind.
