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The 5 Stages of Burnout High-Performing Entrepreneurs Should Know

with Claire O’Connor

Think burnout only happens to people who hate their jobs? Think again. It’s actually the driven, disciplined, and high-performing entrepreneurs who are most at risk. The ones too focused on pushing through to notice the crash coming. In this episode, host Deirdre Martin sits down with Claire O’Connor, burnout recovery coach and creator of the “Back to Brilliance” framework, to reveal the five hidden stages of burnout and why your strongest traits; perseverance, passion, and commitment could be sabotaging you. You’ll learn how to spot the early warning signs, stop using your strengths against yourself, and rebuild energy and focus in just one week.

For the full list of timestamps, key takeaways, and all resources mentioned, visit the full episode page here: https://deirdremartin.ie/blog/5-stages-entrepreneur-burnout

You know when you're feeling a little bit exhausted?

Well, here's the thing.

Most burnout doesn't actually look like a breakdown.

It looks like you still showing up, still producing.

Still performing, still fine, still grand, still great until

your body finally signals.

No, your brain stops working in the way that it should, and everything

starts to feel a little bit like you're pushing water up the fricking hill.

If you are a coach, a consultant, or a service provider, you my friend, are the

engine of your business, which means.

If you experience burnout, it's not just gonna be a vibe killer for you.

It's also going to be a revenue killer.

I'm Deirdre Martin, business mentor, author, and you're no BS

guide to building a six figure business that doesn't burn you out.

And today I'm joined by someone who doesn't just talk about burnout.

She lived it, studied it, and now helps high performers

recover in seven days or less.

Claire O'Connor is an absolute powerhouse.

She's a four time all Ireland Kamogi champion, a master educator,

a leadership coach, and a stage slang musical star no less.

And she's here to walk us through the five sneaky stages of burnout

and the three shockingly simple steps to stop it in its tracks.

By the end of this episode, you'll know exactly how to spot the earliest signs

of burnout and what to do about it before your body or your business pays the price.

Let's dive in.

Claire O'Connor, welcome to the Master Your Business podcast.

How you doing?

Thank you very much, Deirdre.

I might as well tell you I'm a huge fan.

I've learned a huge amount from your podcast.

Honestly, at times when you forget to do things, Deirdre

comes in with another episode and I have something else to learn.

So it's my privilege to be here.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I'm like teary-eyed now.

And so Claire, I brought you here because I know that you are a fricking expert

when it comes to burnout and that you help people experience relief from

burnout in one week or less, which is like amazing because I've been burned out.

I know how all consuming it is.

But first off, burnout.

What is it?

Well, there's lots of different definitions skimming around and the more

you look, the more diverse it becomes.

But really, from my own experience, and I guess you're gonna relate to

this, to simplify it for anybody listening, it's physical, emotional,

and mental exhaustion caused by a continuous long period of chronic stress.

So if you are feeling stressed for a very long time and cannot snap out of it.

You are on your road to full scale burnout.

I've definitely been there.

And, you know, recently I've been studying coaching with neuroscience and one of

the things that has come up, and really I've recorded a solo episode about this,

it's about decision fatigue as well, and like your brain not being able to

close the loop to make the decisions, which also is stressful in and of its.

Self too, right?

Or

Yeah, absolutely.

There's decision making fatigue, actually more so in women than in men.

Why?

Because women hold many, you know, different worlds and

responsibilities during the day.

Men are a little bit better at handling that as well 'cause they

don't get as emotionally invested.

It doesn't mean that men don't suffer from burnout.

They do.

It's 50% feeling burnout across healthcare, across the legal world.

All those systems where it's high pressure all the time.

The thing about women though, is we do get decision making fatigue more easily.

And we tend to ignore our own suffering because we spend most of

our time looking after other people.

I was no different when I burnt out.

I'm sure you weren't Deirdre, but it's really important for

women to recognize and men.

If you are not able to put two good days together, if you are not feeling

any sort of emotion when your child draws you a picture and gives it to

you, if you are, you know, retracting from social events, if you are feeling

like I can't even make a decision.

That procrastination actually snowballs the impact of burnout.

And like you say, that decision making, you can't close any loop.

What's interesting about burnout is it starts actually initially on a high,

you could go through 12 phases of burnout, but for the purposes of today,

you can kind of simplify it into five.

Step one is honeymoon phase.

What does that look like?

It kind of looks like I got a new job.

We finally moved into our new house.

There's a change in the schedule of the house.

There's more responsibilities with kids and schedules and sports

and activities, and it begins to snowball, but you are nailing it.

Oh my God, give me more.

Is honeymoon phase.

It's like there's high productivity, high energy, but it cannot last forever.

And so when I say about the energy thing that's really important.

'cause by the time you're burnt out, you have energy for nothing.

Even though the stress nearly becomes numbed because you've just plane panned

out, you just can't feel anything anymore.

But the onset then of burnout is stage two, which is oh, I'm starting

to run out of a bit of energy here.

I was really productive getting three or four tasks done in an hour

for work, and my boss was delighted.

But I can't keep up this pace.

So the stress starts to kick in and you start to kind of kick back going.

I know it can't last forever, but I'm expected to have this

standard so I shall push through.

I see that a lot with clients, Claire, who own their own businesses.

And whether it's sometimes delivery, let's say they take on too much work and

they don't have the team to support them.

So I've had clients tell me that they worked until three or four in the

morning, and I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no.

We need to stop that.

That's, that can't happen again.

And, you know, putting the systems in place to make sure it doesn't happen.

And, you know, people say to me as well, Deirdre, like, that consistency,

that grind sometimes with the marketing piece is really hard.

And I'm like, mm-hmm.

Well, let's take a step back and see what's going on and how can we

slow that down, or maybe is there a better way for you to do it instead

of pushing water up a hill, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's what you do when you move into stages three, four, and five.

So stage three then is like chronic stress which puts the

body and the mind at dis-ease.

So, you know, where I'm going with that dis-ease is disease

and that's where it goes to.

Could be mental, could be physical, could be emotional.

But you're definitely suffering at this point.

One thing that might be really good for people to recognize if

they're listening to this and say, oh my God, it sounds like me.

It sounds like a lot of people up to stage three, but stage three is

when functional freezing comes in, and that's like I summoned every

piece of energy I have for this task.

Could be the day job, could be a weekend event, could be an event

for your business or for work.

But then after that, you've nothing left to give.

So picture yourself driving into your drive using every ounce of energy

you've had to give your energy to the day, complete the task, and then

at six o'clock and you have to make dinner and get onto schedules, the

home schedule, the cleaning, the kids.

Maybe you don't have kids, but maybe you just, there's nothing

left in the tank that's stage three.

So if you kind of recognize, oh my God, that's me.

This is a really good time to pause.

Okay.

Wake up.

Listen and yeah.

your body and mind are screaming and what your mind can't tell you.

Deirdre, your body will, it's almost grinding to a halt.

You're walking with the hand brake on, you're driving with

the hand brake on in your car.

That's the sensation you have.

It's like I, I have to push through.

What's really interesting is people think, oh, burnout happens to people

who hate their jobs or hate their manager, or hate their leader.

The opposite.

It's kind of counterintuitive.

Usually it happens to really passionate people, really driven

people who are willing to push through anything to get there.

And I'll give you a really simple example is myself on my second burnout, it wasn't

even my first, when I, one morning I was running a social event for my school.

I was in charge of basically a school bazaar for the first time,

so I'll give you some context.

It was never done before.

I was doing it on my own, plus running a classroom of 36 kids,

plus running all the sports teams.

Today there's a committee of probably more than 60 people

involved in running that bazaar.

So that was the responsibility I took on.

Now I'm saying this because I didn't ask for much help, but I am a high performer.

I do push through and one of my strengths is perseverance.

So for anybody who's a high performer out there, or listening

to this or owns their own business.

If you are a high performer and you're pushing through, be really

careful that you're not using your strengths to your disadvantage.

That's exactly what I did.

I persevered to get the job done.

The next morning was a Monday morning and I could not lift my head

off of the pillow of my bed, and I really realized, oh my God, this.

I didn't even know what it was, Deirdre.

I didn't know until I was, you know, I had to get taken care of medically.

What happened was I had actually burned my mouth a week previous,

but kept taking medication to get to school, which ended up in a full

blown infection in my whole body.

I remember even during the event, taking medication to keep the pain away.

Ridiculous.

Perseverance, using my strengths against myself self-sabotaging on every level, and

that is when my journey to recovery began.

It was a real realization.

My body is telling me what my mind is not processing.

Wow.

And I honestly can say I have had a similar experience for me.

The first time I really felt it, I encountered it.

It was always my body that signaled to me that this is happening.

And it was cases where, let's say I was working all the hours

and now I was in banking, you might going, how are you working?

All the hours, Deirdre, because I would stay late to help the team or

I'd come in early to get stuff done for a client and all those things.

But my first real symptom of it was when when I, again like that, then

I'd come home and do all the stuff with the kids and the dog and my

husband was working longer hours than me at the time as well, to be fair,

but great support outside of that.

But what happened was I was in work and working through projects and working.

At the time I was a lending manager, I was commercial lending manager,

so I was advancing loans all day.

Yeah,

I'm going out to do client visits and site visits and stuff and see their

businesses, how do their business work and all that sort of stuff.

And then I'd get back to the desk and I'd have to process it

all and all that sort of stuff.

And anyway, like it was a lot of responsibility.

'cause you'd have pressure from clients, you'd have pressure

internally to lend, and then you'd have the lenders going, yes, we will.

Or we won't do that for whatever reason.

And you know, and then you have all the responsibilities on top of it.

My mom was actually sick and dying as well at the time, so I had that going on.

Mm-hmm.

And yeah, there was loads happening and what started to signal for me was my back.

And it's interesting, if you've ever read Louise Hayes stuff, it's

like, you know that pressure on your shoulders, that weight mm-hmm.

On your shoulders.

It's like you're carrying the world on your back.

And that's exactly what it was for me.

I felt like I was carrying the world on my back and it got to the stage

where when I go to stand up from my desk at work, or out the chair,

or outta my bed in the morning.

It would take me about two minutes to actually get straight.

I had the weight of the world and my back.

I was bent into.

Mm-hmm.

Until finally my back went, my back snapped.

Yeah.

And I had three months nearly in bed and getting physio and on medication to get

right before I could go back to work.

And it was literally that it was the weight of the world and my back,

and that's how I felt at the time.

Yeah, but what's interesting, I think, Claire, with this and I'm learning more

about this as I study coaching with neuroscience, is that sometimes we're

a bit like pressure cookers, aren't we?

Hmm.

Neuros women.

Yeah.

But even,

even men.

Yeah.

But the thing is, Deirdre, we can't sometimes recognize it.

Hmm.

That's the problem is that we don't know because culture now celebrates 12 hour

working days and that pace is what's expected or it's just become normalized.

So a lot of people don't even know what their normal is anymore

'cause they're pushing through.

But what you say there is.

Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion due to the variety of roles you are doing.

And, you know, you're at the point of chronic stress and fatigue,

which is way beyond stage three.

It's stage four, it's hardcore burnout.

And you just can't think anymore.

It's like you're grinding to that halt, you know, driving with the handbrake

on and your mind couldn't process it.

So what's really, really important is.

At that point, recognizing that it is burnout.

Stage four is burnout.

Stage five is habitual burnout, which is getting outta burnout for a while,

relaxing, taking the foot off the pedal in the car, you know, releasing

the hand brake, driving forward again, like all driven people do.

And the next thing, we fall into the cycle of overworking chronic

stress just to push through.

Persevere, win.

That's what happens.

And that was me as well.

It was that habitual burnout.

It was IBS the first time, couple years later, it was this full scale infection.

So thank you for actually recognizing that it is in your body.

It eventually comes to your body, and that's really important for especially

clients of yours or anybody listening.

If they're running their own business, you are the most likely to burn out.

But you are driven, you are passionate, you are extremely high potential person.

You also have the best potential to recover quickly.

So you say three months in bed with your physical pain, but

you can come outta burnout.

Now, a holiday's not going to fix it.

A holiday, a one week holiday in sun doesn't fix it.

But what's interesting is it took you three months to recover

in bed from the physical pain.

But it also provided you the opportunity to reset emotionally and mentally.

Yeah.

And the thing is, like folks listening, you are the biggest

asset in your business.

Mm-hmm.

If this is happening to you, it's time to do something about it.

And like Claire, as you're talking.

I'm just picturing somebody I know who I've reached out to, to

help because I can see them on that cycle of habitual burnout.

I'm like, you're need to go and speak to this person again.

Yeah.

From talking to you.

'cause that's exactly what's happening to her.

And what's interesting too, I think is like in that pressure cooker,

what I see happening, and I've seen it with colleagues, peers.

Team members over the years is that people wear masks.

I think when this mm-hmm.

On, and sometimes the masks might be for themselves, nevermind like.

You know, like they're masking it themselves.

And it could be they become agreeable.

You know, they're just like, they can't say no because they don't

have the willpower or they're persevering to your point.

So they're just agreeable.

And I think other times they freeze when they're in that pressure point as well.

And on top of that, I'd say there's a few other masks.

That people are putting on when they're just trying to push through, have

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Masking is huge.

Masking is huge.

And they think they're masking, but actually everybody else can see the signs.

It's funny, like an unfinished job.

You can't put in your proper ability and capabilities into your job because

you just don't have it in the tank.

So you might think, oh, this is good enough.

But it's absolutely not.

You might see somebody who's really hurt, but you don't care because you

can't dive that deep emotionally.

And the another thing that's worth noting Deirdre, is if somebody is sleeping

and resting, but they're not waking up rested, it's like this condition

of feeling like you need to sleep all the time, but you actually can't rest.

It's not restful.

So I see the masking a lot.

But the masking isn't actually true.

It's still, the cracks come through.

The work is under, you know, under par in every performance

in every area of your life.

And I mean, performance as just surviving, I don't mean like on stage hands shaken,

you know, I just mean the basic, everyday standard performance is to live a good and

fulfilled life is just completely gone.

The other thing I'd say is.

A lot of the reasons that burnout comes in the first place is often like the WHO

says that it's due to workplace stress.

Yes to a point, but if you're a caregiver at home or if you have

a, just a jam packed agenda to keep all the balls rolling for the

many people in your family, burnout doesn't just happen in the workplace.

It can happen for being the consistent caregiver to.

A child or a parent or an elderly person.

So we have to be really careful 'cause you're giving care,

you're giving your emotion, your mental capacity, your energy.

Another thing that's worth noting is that oftentimes burnout comes because

there are a lack of boundaries, whether it's in the workplace with the job spec.

The expectation at work, the time boundary of how much time you give to the

job, lack of clarity from your leader.

And the psychological safety is absent.

Like, what does my boss expect?

When does he expect

it?

Sorry, Claire, I don't that can apply to if you are a business owner and you

haven't clarified the scope of your deliverables, maybe with a client.

Maybe if the client is asking for extra things and you're doing them, but maybe

without contracting for them, so that then the work expands on your part.

You're not being paid for it, but maybe you haven't managed

the client's expectations around, you know what that Absolutely.

I can do that for you.

It just won't be today or tomorrow.

Or next week.

It'll be next week.

You know, those boundaries, being boundaried around that is huge.

Yeah.

So I, you bring this up, Claire

It comes from lack of clarity.

And that lack of clarity is not just in your job.

That lack of clarity starts with you, which is very much

based around self-awareness.

Believe me, I am a very capable person, but I did not have self-awareness

when I was burning out twice.

I didn't have it.

I didn't even know what burnout was.

I just thought, this is the expectation.

This is the level I have a standard to keep that I've set.

My uncle actually said to me that second time I burnt out.

You burnt your mouth Claire, but you're burnt out.

It was the first time that somebody labeled it to me and he was a

psychotherapist, and I was, I remember at the time, sitting in front of my fire.

It was as miserable as I was.

I couldn't even get the fire going, and I would talk about

symbolism in my real life.

I was like, oh God, I was miserable as the fire.

But that was it.

I couldn't move off the couch.

I was.

Sitting there crying and he could see it.

'cause he was educated and trained.

But that self-awareness, I needed him to spell it out.

He spelt it out to me.

I was, and then I was mortified.

Because the high performer wants to succeed and so does

everybody you work with.

They are just up there.

So that's how I ended up doing two and a half years of research

on people who have burnt out.

Pretty much all of them are high performers.

Pretty much all of them have multiple roles.

Multiple roles Could just be job plus kids.

That is multiple roles.

And they all would say the same thing.

And the lack of self-awareness, they were completely dedicated

to everybody's else's schedule.

They were completely psychoanalyzing.

Everybody they worked with, what are their expectations of me guesswork all the time.

And constantly, you know, on that hamster wheel of go, go, go till they flatlined.

That's mad isn't it?

Because I think it probably people who think that, you know, who do

you look at who's going to burn out?

You think it's probably going to be, I dunno, like doctors, surgeons, you

know, and probably they do, but like what are other misconceptions or

types of people that you are seeing burning out a lot and that they're

like, they're not even realizing it.

They're completely getting it wrong around that.

Yeah, like I have worked with everyone from CEOs to president of

the marketing committee of massive global companies to a stay at home mom.

It can happen anywhere, and it all comes back to self-awareness

and self-regulation.

And I was in education for 20 years.

Self-regulation and wellbeing is now only being equated to

maths English on the level of importance in the education system.

'cause I facilitated the education of the staff bodies and the department for it.

But this is the thing we are not educated in, in, I don't mean self care 'cause.

Honestly, it's self-awareness.

Who am I, what am I capable of?

Interestingly, Brene Brown did a self-awareness study

on thousands of people.

85% of them thought they were self-aware, but when she tr put them through the

test and the quiz, it was only 10 to 15%.

So shocker, burnout is happening.

It's in over 50% of the workplace.

But what's really great about it is if you are that driven person,

you have the potential to recover.

But it does start with awareness.

Where am I?

Like, I didn't even know what this was.

I just thought I had to stay going.

I had another client who.

Absolutely could be nailing the job.

That's it.

Shown up an amazing leader gets home, can't bring it together

to walk in and make dinner.

And then her breakdown was actually having to coach the local

football team of under fives.

It wasn't at the high performing job.

It was like I've no more to give.

I cannot, I can't.

And then we started to work on boundaries.

It took her two weeks to summon the courage with the right wording.

To create that boundary because her people pleasing was, oh my

God, it was off the scale and she couldn't tell the other parents, I

don't have the capacity for this.

So when I'm working with clients, we even have to work through the wording

of what they're going to say because they've gone in so deep with serving

others so well that they almost don't know how to come back, or they almost don't

know how to pause and it becomes that.

The lever or the catalyst for change, once they learn how to, you know, work

back to the wealth that's most important to them, whether it's time, wealth,

health wealth, financial wealth or social wealth, those four wealths kind

of dominate who you are and how you live.

So once they establish what it is they want, it's easier to set the boundaries

in their life that they need to come back from burnout back to their brilliant

selves or back to their balanced selves.

Oh, I love that.

And that poor lady.

Oh my God.

Mm-hmm.

I was like getting goose pimples there when you're talking

about her and like Claire, for people who are listening, what?

So you talked us through the five stages and they're super clear and really

great to have for anybody listening.

But what are some of the really early indicators, like the micro

signs that are happening and they're heading in that direction?

Yeah there's loads, but they don't present anything other than I'm stressed out.

Like you're snapping at your kids.

You couldn't be bothered eating the dinner.

The dinner might be in front of you, but it's like, oh, whatever.

There's an argument at work and you don't care.

Or the opposite.

You see an argument at work and you feel the need to run in and fix it.

You can't summon the energy to finish a letter that you've written writing or an

email, or you don't really realize it, but you've got nothing left in the tank.

When you come home, all you wanna do is sit down and watch

tv and that's normal to a point.

But if it keeps going it becomes worrisome and throw away comments that you actually

don't care what somebody's reaction is.

Like I said, that irritated sleep.

It really is important to note what's, like, I had a woman who when she

burnt out her and she was running her own business, her number one

thing was sleep and she couldn't figure out why it was that her sleep.

And she's a hustler.

She's actually a sprinter for the USA, so she couldn't.

Get it right.

And she ended up investing in an eight bed.

An eight bed is a really expensive bed.

It's thermally regulated.

It's got all the apps in the bed.

And she started to study her sleep.

And lo and behold, when she put her focus on something that

she could record statistically, it started to improve for her.

So it can look like anything, and most people blow it off as.

Just a busy season.

Mm-hmm.

If you are saying that to yourself, it's just a busy time.

I'll get over it.

When the kids get back to school, I'll focus on myself.

It never happens.

'cause the pressure eases off just enough for you to stay going

and then

it's just, that's the habitual one then that's the habit.

That.

Yeah.

When you get that release, that holiday or whatever people think

the rest is, it's not enough.

You are still not functioning at your best.

You're still in fight or flight mode, which creates dis-ease down the line.

Hmm.

And like you see it, you know, like so many people come home from work or finish

work every day and they sit on the couch and they numb out with Netflix, or they

numb out with a glass of wine or two or whatever their poison is, or, you know,

numb out with shopping, online shopping.

Like people find ways, I think to No out.

And another one is by the description that you shared there.

I call it checking out.

So they're out of.

The impact maybe that they're having.

Empathy.

It's empathy.

Like I call it dili.

Gaff.

Do I look like I give a fuck?

You know?

Or I've only got so many folks to give, and that's not going to be on one of them.

And now that could be a healthy boundary thing, but you, yeah.

Still it's like being mindful of that and is this really something

that you should give a fuck about?

And if not, yeah.

If it is, well then, and you don't, well then awareness, right?

So yeah,

it comes back to awareness and that lack of awareness.

You don't care what kind of standard of work you're producing anymore.

Or maybe you care so much that you can't stop.

That's a really big one I see, is sometimes the awareness

starts to come, like, I need to stop, but I don't know how.

Mm. You might see that a lot with your clients is they

really, really want it so much.

They really know that they need to protect their energy, time, sleep, whatever it is.

But they don't know how to stop.

This is massive, especially for those high performers who own their

own businesses who really want to achieve, they don't know how to stop,

which is an absolute alarm bell.

You mentioned there's someone working until three or 4:00 AM

I mean, that's something that my body physically would stop me.

It, I just, because I've burnt out and learned all the everyday tools

that I use, I couldn't do that.

I just, I know what's gonna happen if I persevere.

Yeah.

Well that awareness is amazing that you have that and you have the tools now

and the flags for you, and I'd love to hear then, so when people are in this

or you know, they're recognizing they're doing these things, they're in any of

those five phases, what are some of the things that they can do that they'll.

Help, like habits can be difficult to form.

To create.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What can they do?

I think really it's worth mentioning what can they ask first of themselves?

What is this costing me?

Mm-hmm.

To stay in this situation or the way I'm feeling?

What is it costing me?

'cause when people relate a cost to their suffering, they're able to kind of

establish in their mind if it's worth.

Thinking about, you know, using a different path.

For me it definitely cost me a hundred grand.

That second burnout, I ended up taking a year outta school, out of work.

As well as all the different, treatments I took and, you know, all the things I did.

It was definitely a hundred K.

So what is it costing me to stay this way?

That's the first step, especially if they're thinking, oh,

that sounds a bit familiar.

The second thing is awareness.

So I have a really simple quiz.

I'll give it to you, Deirdre.

You can leave it on the podcast and it gives you a, an area i i in 1, 2, 3,

4, or five of the areas we discussed today, it's about two minutes, but it

brings awareness to, oh, no I'm okay.

I'm not too bad.

Or it also says, oh, I'm in about a stage three time to really step

back and realize what am I not?

Including in my life right now that I traditionally use to

keep myself in a balanced place.

So what does it cost me?

Where am I at now?

And then what's not in my life now that kept me balanced?

So for me, that was exercise.

For me it has to be outdoors and it has to be three times a week.

I absolutely know that I'm kept well that way.

So that's the quiz.

You know where you're at, you know what you need to put back into

your life if it's been missing.

There is another really simple nighttime technique.

I was trying to think of the rapid fire stuff that we could talk about

Deirdre, and this is one of them.

It's called a 3, 2, 1 technique.

Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't.

But it's a reframe for all the driven and passionate people who constantly

self-critique, constantly say, I'm not good enough, I haven't done enough.

It's not fast enough.

And that is.

Just to rephrase that at night, getting into bed, you can journal it or you

can just practice it in your head.

Three things that went well today.

Three things that I achieved, three things that I feel were successful, two

things I want to work on tomorrow, so that reframes the language you're using.

I didn't get this done.

I didn't get that done.

God, I still haven't finished that.

Instead it says.

They're the two priorities I have for tomorrow.

So three things that went well.

Two things that I want to work on tomorrow or that I could improve

tomorrow, but let's stick with that.

I want to work on, 'cause it removes that I haven't done it yet.

And one thing, I'm really proud and grateful for that kind

of settles you in the moment.

Now, Deirdre, this is really fast.

You can do it in 30 seconds.

Obviously if you write it down, you retain 24% more.

But as time goes by, you're able to do it really quick.

3, 2, 1. What's gone well, I do my son coming home from soccer training.

Three things that went well.

Two things you can work on in the next training.

One thing you're really proud of, it's so simple.

So let's reframe.

Ask yourself what it's costing you.

Is it costing you your business?

Is it costing you your family?

Is it costing you money because your time is taken?

Number two is, see where you're at with that quiz, and

if you are afraid to take it.

You very definitely should take it.

'cause that's a warning sign.

I'm nearly afraid to look.

Number three then, is that the 3, 2, 1 technique that's

really simple, really fast.

And the last thing, I was trying to think, what else could we do really quickly

before everyone spirals and that is protect your time a little more instead

of jumping in with the people pleasing.

Yes.

Say, I'll get back to you on that when I check my schedule.

Can I get back to you on that?

It's the simplest reframe on saying yes more slowly.

And a lot of people who are high performers want to also get

things done for other people.

They're generous People ask a busy person and they'll get it done.

But really it's, can I get back to you on that?

I think I'm caught there and it just reframes it in an easier way

to say yes to them more slowly.

You're giving yourself some breathing space.

All in the name of self-awareness.

Deirdre all in the name of getting yourself back to your brilliant self.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

And they're so simple, easy, and don't cost anything to do.

And definitely go and check out Claire's quiz.

Do the quiz, see where you're at.

If any of the things that you've been talking about Claire or resonated

with the people listening to do, definitely go and check that out.

Claire.

Oh my gosh.

I feel like this has been a whirlwind tour of what burnout is and how to overcome it.

Is there anything that you haven't said yet that you feel, oh, I wish people

knew this actually, about burnout?

you know, it's more about your self-sabotage.

When I work with clients we always investigate self-sabotage and usually

when you realize what your self-sabotaging behaviors are and we go through it

in depthly, it is a game changer.

Your own self-sabotage is like a blind spot to you.

You can't even see when you're doing it.

You might talk about what you do, but that doesn't always reflect the action you

take on a daily basis to self-sabotage.

And, you know, it's a really interesting journey.

Have a look at that.

That's something that leads to burnout when you have these

consistent sabotaging behavior.

So it's worth mentioning and it's worth people paying attention to.

Hmm.

I love that.

And actually, I think there's a quiz that you can do with Positive Intelligence.

If I can find a link for that, I'll share that in the show notes as well so people

can see what their top saboteurs are.

And I know for me, this is mine and I recognize when I'm doing it and it

recognizing it, knowing that I'm doing it.

Avoid the burnout.

What I do is if I'm stressed or I have decisions rolled around in my brain

or there's things bothering me, I stay up super late and I sabotage my sleep.

Mm-hmm.

And let your US athlete sprinter also a sprinter, by the way.

Maybe it's a sleep,

the speed thing.

Slow down.

Yeah.

It's, and like, oh gosh, I like fast horses, fast cars,

fast running, all the things.

My love the story is sleep, right?

So sleep.

Yeah.

I sabotage my sleep and then that when I'm too tired because I've sabotaged

my sleep, then I don't exercise, which I usually do every morning.

And then when I haven't slept and I haven't exercised, I eat rubbish.

Mm-hmm.

I eat absolute crappy food.

And then.

You just feel mh or don't you for a few days?

Absolutely.

Afterwards, it's like they say, what is it that they say?

Isn't it like for, what did you eat 72 hours ago?

Because that's how you wanna be feeling today.

What did you do 72 hours ago, three days ago?

What were you doing?

'cause that's impacting how you feel today.

Yeah, yeah.

So for me, one of the things I've cut out, and I've done it regularly

over the years, alcohol gone because that affects how I sleep.

Mm-hmm.

So I don't drink anymore.

I've quit again.

And I go through phases where I'll drink.

For a couple of weeks or a couple of months, or a couple of years.

Like, and not heavily but just get rid of it.

Yeah.

And I feel so much better because, you know, I might have two glasses

of wine, that's enough for me.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

But by Monday or Tuesday, feel it.

Mm-hmm.

And it's

like that impact on me then, you know, it's just not worth it.

So, you know, if you have, if anybody listening and that resonates.

Just think through what can you do to help you right now, but

to help you 72 hours from now?

Because your daily decisions determine your destiny.

Absolutely.

You know, all the Ds.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's really good that you noted that it's alcoholic and

that it's also anxiety inducing.

Something as simple as a glass of wine can be very anxiety inducing.

The next day what happens?

You start climbing the walls.

You have all this underperforming, a sense of underperformance

for all those business owners.

If they can't manage it, it's really bad.

Deirdre, one thing I didn't mention is sports people.

Both of us are sports people.

Burnout can also happen in sports performance.

And it doesn't mean that the burnout is coming from actually

training for the sport.

It could be from a different area of life.

So what's really important there is.

You could be burning out in one area, but it's showing up in your sports,

or you could be burnt out from over training and it's showing up at work.

So it's really important to notice that when burnout happens, it impacts

every single area of your life.

Work, sports even things like your relationships.

It really starts to get cynical and messy and ugly.

So really, if you think that you are on this trajectory.

You know, please pause.

Set yourself some honest boundaries that you can keep that are realistic

for a couple of days in a row to see.

Can you notice change?

And that reflection part is really important.

Do I notice a change?

Am I improving overall?

And what about habits, Claire?

Have you any tips for people around habit formation so that yeah.

Might improve what they're doing?

For sure.

It has to be one at a time.

Yeah.

I'm sure you've read James Clear Atomic Habits.

He kind of, he almost goes in so deep that it's hard to like, oh God, how many

steps are there to making a new habit?

Really what it is pausing.

Considering what's beneficial for you now and starting with the 15 minute rule.

Can I do this for 15 minutes?

Can I push back from the desk and take a walk for 15 minutes?

And then once you try it once, say, can I do this?

Three times a week, the following week, then it should

be more like, I can do this.

It's not, can I anymore?

It's I can.

And then after a while, it's, why am I so good at this?

So you're self questioning.

So the brain starts to think.

Oh, you are good at this.

Let's go.

And all the time.

It's constantly with the self though, it, you know, you have to build these

habits slowly so that they're manageable, that they're not so far outside of your

comfort zone that you can't achieve them.

I think that's really important for everyone who's trying to add

it in as well as their workload is keep it stupidly simple.

KISS keep it stupidly simple.

15 minutes at a time.

Don't, you know, go, I'm gonna do this seven days a week.

Ridiculous.

It'll be gone after three.

So let's try and make it twice a week, then three times a week I can do this.

Why am I so good at this?

You know?

And it all starts to snowball then into a new habit.

Consistency is key.

Please don't try it seven days a week.

It's consistency.

Love that.

I think that's such a great point as well.

It's like it's no different to people who joined the gym in January and

then by February they've gone from it.

And, you know, I did that probably 20 something years ago and ever again.

But I think one of the things that I would add to that is to have

something that triggers the habit.

So some, it's kind of a reminder that triggers the habit and makes it easier.

It's a bit like.

Flossing.

If you don't floss your teeth well then put the tooth floss, put it

right beside the toothpaste, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Put the floss beside the toothpaste and then you're going to remember to floss.

Yeah.

It's a habit stack.

You're stacking the habits.

So if you're not used to flossing and you're not good at

it, leave it there beside it.

If you're not used to drinking water, but you're going to be 10

hours, you know, in front of a screen the water should be there.

There should be a constant, easy supply.

Cheers.

Yeah.

Water obviously is a huge, brain performer as well.

but like you say the trigger is really important.

Whatever the trigger is could be an alarm on your calendar.

I started some of my habits with an alarm on my calendar.

Actually making videos for my business was an alarm on my calendar.

Make a two minute video every single day.

And then I discovered, oh, well, that's not going to be achievable.

So I put it back to three days a week.

So what I'm saying is start small, small timeframe, make it manageable,

make it achievable so that you can repeat consistently, and that's

what James Clear is all about.

I

love that, Claire, thank you so, so, so much.

Incredible things in there.

I know you have a fantastic program as well.

If anybody's going through burnout and would like to talk Claire about

that, be sure to go and check her out and she will help you create

really great habits and experience that relief in seven days or less.

Claire, tell people where can they find you and what do you have coming up.

Okay, I'd be absolutely delighted to speak to anybody, even just to

help them out for a half an hour.

It's Claire at claire O'Connor dot co not.com.

I have to say this every time.

I'm at Claire O'Connor, coaching on Instagram, Facebook.

I love LinkedIn.

It's probably my most dominant platform.

I love it.

But you can reach out to me anytime or Claire O'Connor coaching online.

So delighted to talk to anybody.

Coming up then I've just started a new 90 day program, which is for

high performing women, it's 90 days.

By Christmas, these ladies are going to be rocking and rolling and on top of the

world, a lot of them can feel the burnout, they're lacking the self-awareness.

So that's the program I spent a couple years studying.

Of course, there's one-to-one coaching and yeah, lots of exciting things

in the pipeline, but the one-to-one and the 90 day program to get

people back to brilliance is very definitely on the menu at the moment.

Claire, you are more certainly brilliant and people should

definitely go and check out.

So thank you so much for joining the show.

It's been a pleasure having you.

My absolute pleasure Deirdre.

If anything Claire has just said, has you going, oh shit, that's me.

Well, you need to take her two minute burnout quiz.

It's fast, it's free, and it's gonna tell you exactly what phase

you're in and what to do about it.

You'll find it at Claire O'Connor.

Do co. If you're scared to take it, that's your sign right there.

Okay.

Let's land all of this and tie it all back in together.

So Claire just dropped truth bomb after truth bomb on burnout.

So what did she say?

Let me sum it up.

Burnout doesn't start when you collapse.

It starts when you can't feel joy, can't make a decision and

can't stop pushing through.

There are five phases of burnout and most people are in stage two

or three without even realizing it, probably most of the time.

And if you take only one thing away from today, take this start saying,

can I get back to you on that?

Instead of saying yes.

Because that little micro boundary could save your business, your

body, and your fricking sanity.

If you want to know what phase you're in, as I say, go and take

Claire's burnout, self-awareness quiz at claire O'Connor dot co.

I'm gonna link it in the show notes here so you'll be able to catch it as well.

It's simple, it's smart, and it might just change your life.

And hey, if this episode made you feel seen, share it with one entrepreneur who

you know is maybe quietly drowning or struggling a little bit behind the scenes.

And then do me a favor, rate it, review the show, and follow wherever

you're listening today, because around here, we don't do burnout.

What we do do is we keep mastering your business and your energy.

So until next time.

Keep mastering your business.