There is no way around self-awareness.

Taking ownership of your past has to be a priority.

Stepping out of victim-mentality and blaming people from the past or past circumstances and into self-empowerment.

Living in the now.

The Challenges that you might face:

Seeing things for what they are can be brutal especially when it comes to your self image that you are so addicted to.

good person

selfless person

provider

caring person

funny person

Whatever you think of yourself your brain can trick you into forgetting that you have natural flaws as well and these flaws want to be addressed cause it's them that get you into trouble . It's your blind spots that keep getting you into trouble or disappointments that you can't make sense of.

enjoy

with love and respect A.

Book recommendation:

Master your Attachment Style

• Learn How to Build Healthy & Long-Lasting Relationships
• Written by: Scott A. Young

Welcome to the Borealis Experience Podcast and Aurora Eggert Coaching 

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

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Unknown: 00:00:08

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:00:11

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

Unknown: 00:00:14

spending some time with you today. Thank you so much for

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being here and choosing my podcast, I hope I can bring you

Unknown: 00:00:23

value, calmness, peace, hope, and love. Yesterday, I was live

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on my Facebook channel, so to say, and I talked about self

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awareness. And I really want to make sure that my dear podcast

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listeners who might not be connected with me on Facebook

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yet will not miss out on this topic that is really dear to my

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heart. I raised a question on my Facebook timeline. And a couple

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of people answered on what relationship if there was one

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relationship they could better improve in their life? Which one

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would it be? And a lot of people answered that it would be their

Unknown: 00:01:17

relationship with themselves. And of course, I have to jump on

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this topic right away. Because, as you know, as a longtime

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listener, and as you will find out as a new listener, I'm all

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about sharing the tools that helped me along the way and

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getting to know myself better the better you know yourself,

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the better decisions you're going to make. That will have a

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deep impact on your health and your well being, but also on the

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people around you. So, self awareness, how do we become more

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self aware? How do we see our blind spots? While we can read

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self help books, we can watch documentaries about the

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subconscious mind and the conscious mind. Or we can engage

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in a journey with a coach. Here a little disclaimer, I'm not a

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mental health counselor, I'm not a psychotherapist. I share my

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passion to help other people and the tools that helped me back

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then when I was Yeah, feeling lost and uncomfortable in my

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skin. So if you're struggling with depression, if you are

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struggling intensely then please don't hesitate to reach out to a

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mental health practitioner or to your family doctor even.

Unknown: 00:03:00

Alright, let's let's dive into today's topic. Self awareness is

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so incredibly interesting, let's say it is very revealing. And we

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will sometimes be very proud of what we see and discover in

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ourselves. But we will sometimes also feel repulsed and wanting

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to reject what we find out about ourselves because we all have a

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certain image. And we want to live up to that image. It could

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be I'm of service, I'm a good person. I am liked by other

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people, I am funny, I make people laugh. And everybody

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who's around me feels good and joyous. And we try to live by

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this image and everything that could disturb this image is

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going to be Yeah, the enemy for a short amount of time. You can

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see when when you make something you know when something comes to

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the surface, I mean, during the work with a coach or when you

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work on yourself, you will see stuff that you thought you

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didn't have inside of you. Right we all have hidden treasures and

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also little demons that we don't necessarily want to see and it

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is about shining some light onto these demons. In my video, I

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talked about how, for instance, our way of relating to other

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people is heavily influenced by our childhood. So the way your

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primary caregivers took care of you,

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the way you felt about the world back then, is kind of the

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blueprint of who you are nowadays in a relationship. Does

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that mean that it is kind of a stamp that you have on your

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forehand or on your DNA, and you cannot change it. And no, this

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is not what it means, thank God because we are also deeply

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shaped by our conclusions that we make with our mind, our brain

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and our environment. And it is very likely that nowadays, you

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live a very different life than you had when you were a child.

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But sometimes your mind your subconscious, your blueprint, so

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to speak, so to say is still stuck in the past. So you might

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have been a people pleaser, you might have grown up with people

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that were always busy and maybe a little bit impatient,

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sometimes maybe you look aggressive. So as a child, you

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want it to fit in, you want it to please it was your survival

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mechanism. Because if you don't belong to your family, if they

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kind of Yeah, shut you out of the system, then your survival

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is at risk. So you become a people pleaser, and learn how to

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relate to people through pleasing. You do that in your

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adulthood, and you keep getting one door shot in front of you,

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after the other you are disappointed, you're always the

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giver and don't get anything back and return. While maybe you

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are a people pleaser, you are over giving. And people are just

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totally overwhelmed with that. So there's this book called your

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attachments, I will put it in the show notes where they

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explain very specifically how you fall into certain categories

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after taking a load test or after reading longer and finding

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out who you are. And then you will find out what kind of ways

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you choose to relate to people and what it might trigger and

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other people and how you can become aware of this pattern

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because people are usually only reacting to what they receive

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from you, you know, we tend to blame people. But a lot of the

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times it is asked just not being aware of blind spots. Another

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thing when we do this work of self awareness is that if we get

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behind the scenes and find out that your household you grew up

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in your parents back then didn't do you know the perfect job,

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then you cannot slip into Ultra victim mentality and blame your

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parents for your misfortune nowadays, because you have to

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take ownership, you have to be 100% accountable for what's

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happening today in your life. blaming your parents is totally

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lame is not going to get you anywhere. And chances are that

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you're going to destroy the relationship that you have built

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ever since the stuff happened in the childhood and what for

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instead focus on what you can repair. I don't want to say

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necessarily a repair because you're not broken. But what you

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want to change in order to live a more fulfilled and self aware

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life. So you see already that I'm only going to touch on the

Unknown: 00:08:54

surface here I can only go very into depth with that topic when

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I have a client sitting in front of me and opening up to me about

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specifics. But as a general rule, I want to say that it is

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very, very important for you to look inside and to find the

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areas where you have conflict where you have resistance where

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you have pain, where you have repetitive disappointment, and

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find out what it is inside of you that you can adjust, change,

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throw overboard and to not blame others for discomfort. Because

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that doesn't help you can't change other people. You can't

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undo your past. All you can do is be in the present, rest and

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reflect and learn and then let that shit go. You have to learn

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to let go then. Because what do you want to focus on as the

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lesson In the learning and how you can apply the learned the

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new pattern

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without falling back into into habits that you feel comfortable

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from back then, or even from now, but didn't get to anywhere.

Unknown: 00:10:17

So whenever a person tells me they want to become self aware,

Unknown: 00:10:22

I'm just getting so extremely excited because that's the first

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biggest step into a direction of more healthy living and genuine,

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sexy relationships and out of victim mentality, we don't want

Unknown: 00:10:41

to be in that place of blaming others, I know that it is very

Unknown: 00:10:45

easy to go and connect with other people. Oh, yeah, your

Unknown: 00:10:50

parents have fucked up in the past as well. Mine too. Okay, so

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now we're the broken ones. And we kind of allow ourselves to be

Unknown: 00:11:01

couch bumps or whatever you choose to do to avoid

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accountability and ownership. You have to have the balls to

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look into the mirror and to know that you might be still stuck in

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victim mentality and survival mode and that you want to get

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out of it, that you want have tools provided that can help you

Unknown: 00:11:29

to dig yourself out of it. And to then test and see how your

Unknown: 00:11:34

relationships change, but most importantly, how that

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relationship to yourself will change. So all this to say, self

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awareness is the biggest and most beautiful journey you can

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be on to find out where your boundaries are to find out what

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you like to find out what you don't like, to be able to say

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no, to situations to be able to do less, but to have more and to

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be more. Right. It's better to have less contacts, but more

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intense contacts, you want to go into depth. Also the way you

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consume information, the people that you follow on Twitter, on

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Facebook, on Instagram, if I would just look at the list of

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the people that you follow, I could give you a big clue on

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what your goals are in life and how you probably feel about

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yourself on a daily basis. Chances are if you are, you

Unknown: 00:12:41

know, following a lot of people who trigger jealousy, who

Unknown: 00:12:45

trigger judgment, you will feel not as clear not as good about

Unknown: 00:12:54

yourself. If you follow accounts that are deeply inspiring and

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motivating you, then you'll feel very different. And we can all

Unknown: 00:13:05

not underestimate the power of Twitter, Instagram, and

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Facebook, because we're all hooked to it. And we are all

Unknown: 00:13:13

influenced by it. So we have to learn on how it impacts us. And

Unknown: 00:13:20

we have to learn to be very specific about what we consume

Unknown: 00:13:25

there. All right, I'm not going to overwhelm you in any way. I

Unknown: 00:13:29

hope. I'm going to leave you with this. If there's any

Unknown: 00:13:33

questions, any comments, please never hold back and message me

Unknown: 00:13:37

on Facebook. And if you have any requests on topic, future topics

Unknown: 00:13:44

here. Also shoot me a message. Thank you so much for being

Unknown: 00:13:48

here. If you want to send me a token of appreciation, you can

Unknown: 00:13:53

buy me a coffee. There's a link in the show notes. And yeah,

Unknown: 00:13:57

take really good care of yourself. I'll be out there very