Communication is the name of the game. Everything we do could be improved by better communication. In this bonus episode, Jeff takes the Ramble on the road as he heads to Olympia for a dental appointment. A few misunderstandings later, we have a pretty funny podcast. Geoff Hylton stops by in preparation for the upcoming episode featuring Geoff's Mom, and we talk about Mother's Day, commercial crabbing, and what happened when Geoff saved a man from choking in a Chinese food restaurant.

Topics/Keywords:

Communication, irony, dentist, the beach, ballet, orthodontics, long drives, being late, Willapa National Wildlife Refuge, trust, The Moral Molecule, oxytocin, bonding, gratitude, Ice Chips candy, xylitol, Skittles, sky-diving, tandem sky-diving, surfing, mistaken identity, crabbing, Mother’s Day, David Hasselhoff, drunken outbursts, psychiatric drugs, lithium, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, Meatloaf, Fightclub, Chuck Palahniuk, choking, Heimlich maneuver, Kung pao chicken, burying people, Pacific Ocean, fisheries, commercial fishing, Alaska, Bristol Bay, summertime, jail, FOMO, infidelity, story-telling, Hood-to-Coast Race Series, Hood-to-Coast Washington, spinal fusion, neck pain, team sports, fire science.

Show Links:

Business inquiries/guest booking: Ramblebytheriver@gmail.com

Website: Ramblebytheriver.captivate.fm

Facebook: Jeff Nesbitt (Ramble by the River)https://www.facebook.com/jeff.nesbitt.9619

Instagram: @ramblebytheriver

Twitter: @RambleRiverPod

Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNiZ9OBYRxF3fJ4XcsDxLeg

Music Credit(s):

Still Fly, Revel Day.

Geoff Hylton 3 bonus episode

This transcript was created with Descript AI and contains errors.

[00:01:18] So I come early just in case there's construction or, you know, whatever that's going to keep me from getting there. The worst thing is to show up. To a two hour away appointment and be late and not be able to go, that'd be terrible. So I'm early. And that leaves me with some time to work on the podcast while I'm sitting in my truck.

[00:01:56] You know, I woke up yesterday feeling kind of crappy. I just [00:02:00] didn't have that sparkle that I like to have in the morning. You know, I, I was feeling run down tired, unmotivated, and just kind of drained. And, you know, usually I like to just double up on my five-hour energy and just Ram myself into the day and force myself through that feeling.

[00:02:38] So I decided to make a conscious effort or yesterday to relax, feeling uncomfortable. And I wasn't sure exactly why, but I wanted to. Well, eh, I'll, I'll just be honest. I want it to get high. I kind of wanted to, to feel some relief and have, and just kind of have some good feelings flowing [00:03:00] through me without me having to generate them myself.

[00:03:30] Even things that it's depression, it's depression is what it is. It's the very early stages of that. And I recognize it. And so I know how to kind of let it pass and everything will be fine. So I've kind of learned these tricks to help myself over the years. And so I was doing that yesterday and I was in my office just returning emails and catching up on, uh, what I like to think of as light work.

[00:04:22] I don't I'm feel like I'm not explaining myself well, but most of the time I have great days. I go out of my way to set myself up for success. So I make sure that things are planned. Well, I have enough time to get from one thing to another, so I'm not stressing. I just set myself up to have it and it makes it to where sometimes when things don't go my way I react poorly.

[00:05:11] So just continue to work, do your thing. This too shall pass. And so I opened up my email and the first thing I see is an email from a familiar name as a name of my boss from like 12 years ago. And I was very curious. So I opened the email and it says, Hey, Jeff, just haven't talked to you from a low, for a long time and wanted to reach out.

[00:06:04] Or I guess, preach back to him, I guess. I don't know, to give him the reach around and kind of make him feel good for a second, because I had been meaning to reach out to him for years and I just haven't done it. It was one of those things. That's at the back of my head where I'm like, uh, you know, you should really write Dave a letter and, and just like thank him for his impact in your life.

[00:06:50] So I was constantly learning and that job was very, very fertile ground for growing new skills. So I took full advantage of that, [00:07:00] and I really tried to just pay attention and absorb what was going on around me. After two years of being on these crews, I had picked up a lot of the techniques and I knew how to do it.

[00:07:36] Terrified to be honest, but because it was a big crew, it was like 30 people or, or possibly more. I don't remember. And I was one of the younger guys there, but I had tried really hard. I had been through all the trainings and I had, I had just really tried hard to make myself stand out, which was not easy in that group because there was a lot of great employees, but also a lot of dipshits.

[00:08:23] I was going to present it as a joke because, you know, that's how I do everything. That's how I would ask out a girl. That's how I would do. That's how I would do anything. And still to this day, jokes are. Very very useful tool for presenting information that I'm scared about. So just as , I'm leaving his office, I poke my head back in and I'm like, Oh yeah.

[00:09:05] It shocked me Dave was just like this very imposing figure in my mind, because he was so professional, really a great boss, but he was no bullshit. he would do this thing where he'd walk around the yard and if anyone's hands or in their pockets, he'd walk over and say your hands cold.

[00:09:41] When Dave was around, everything was good. He was a great boss and I really looked up to him. And so to see a look on his face, that was a supportive and like to know that he trusted me was really a big deal. Oxytocin. Which is the bonding chemical. It's a [00:10:00] hormone that is released in our brains when we fall in love when we are parenting our children.

[00:10:27] When you start to trust somebody, you're going to get an oxytocin release. But what has been discovered is that not only that, but also when you get the feeling that somebody else trusts you, you get a big oxytocin release. And I heard this in a book that I was reading, listening to reading with my ears.

[00:11:13] And I didn't realize this at the time, but yesterday when I was writing this email, I, I was able to kind of look back with, you know, 20, 20 vision in retrospect and see that this was really an inflection point in my development into adulthood. At really, from this point on , I saw my future self as a different person than I had seen before.

[00:11:58] So yeah. [00:12:00] Long story short, that whole thing worked out really well. The Spartina program. still goes on to this day. And I really, we have a lot to be grateful for so when I got that email from Dave. , I was excited and I spent a good amount of time writing and back. And a couple minutes after I sent the email, I got a phone call and it was him.

[00:12:44] And you know, this part shocked me, but he told me. That seeing that inspired him to want to do more. And so he went and enrolled in a new course and now he's finished it and [00:13:00] he's decided to call me and say, thank you for, for giving him that inspiration. So it was really like a, just a back and forth of patting each other on the back and saying, thank you for the impact you had in my life.

[00:13:39] Impactful when they have an influence in your life when something happens and you have a thought that says like, wow, I really appreciated that from so-and-so. They didn't have to do that. And they did, they could have handled it this way, but instead they chose kindness, like all these things there's we have these thoughts.

[00:14:19] Think about the last time somebody did that for you. You were just sitting there feeling blue. Suddenly you have a basket of muffins day saved. So, yeah, that was just really a cool experience. And it happened at a time when I was feeling like shit. And I was, I had, I had basically planned on feeling like shit for the whole rest of the day and was okay with it.

[00:15:05] Sometimes bad communication can lead to misunderstandings. Like people showing up for podcasts that they were not invited to, or, you know, whereas good communication can lead to really good things like a bad day, turning into a good day, just from a simple email. So think about how you use your communication every day to affect other people.

[00:15:46] Like you feel better, you enjoy being alive more, you feel more self fulfilled. You feel like you're doing what you're supposed to be doing as a person. It's a good feeling. So communicate. Don't [00:16:00] hold back when things, when things are on your mind or on your heart and you need to share them, don't be embarrassed.

[00:16:32] Anyway. Oh fuck.

[00:16:48] It's about 7:00 PM and it's the same day as my dental appointment. I, uh, well, some shit has gone down since then, but I'll tell you about that in a sec. [00:17:00] I usually have this time on Tuesdays while I'm sitting here waiting for her to get out of dance. This is my normal editing time. I bring my laptop and work in the car.

[00:17:12]Which, uh, I thought I would be totally ready to just talk normal, but as you can tell, I'm not it's I have been stretching out my mouth and trying to figure it out, but yeah, it's, it's an adjustment, but anyway, yeah, this morning, so I was in the truck, parked in front of the dentist office, as I mentioned, and I, I thought my appointment was at nine 30.

[00:18:04] She's a dental assistant. Or dental hygienist or budget, but it's an orthodontist. So it seems, I don't know. She's good at whatever she does. She's she seems like she's higher up than dental assistant, but I don't really know. I don't know the hierarchy there, so whoever it is. She's the one who works with me most of the time.

[00:18:43] What makes you think I'm not excited? And she's like, well, you're why would you be 20 minutes late? And I was like, what, what are you talking about? And I thought she was joking. Cause people do that. Like when you're at a store, And then you're like, Hey, can I get that, that one right there?

[00:19:19] Was there traffic? I was like, actually, no, I was in my truck. I've been here for an hour. And, , she looked at me like I was an idiot. I probably deserved that. So, Oh, well I got them bitches pulled off my teeth either way, so I'm happy. I got these lozenges. Oh, there's my goodie bag. From the dentist that are supposed to give me a nice, uh, xylitol coating of my mouth.

[00:20:04] I should've said that at the dentist. I bet that would have killed. Oh shit. They're like shards. This looks like crystal meth. I'll post a pic on the Instagram. I'm going to do that right now. So you, by the time you hear this, you'll have already seen the pic.

[00:20:44] Hmm. Skittles. Without further ado, I like to mix the yellow with the red.

[00:21:35] Get that room tone.

[00:25:21] Geoff Hylton: [00:25:21] Unfortunately she's not really trust her outside. We'll keep your head. Yeah,

[00:25:29] Geoff Hylton: [00:25:29] of cords to pull. Yeah.

[00:25:42] I don't see her as much anymore. I guess I could just ask you. Huh? You go go girl. But she's doing

[00:26:09] He's like was door over the whole time. And I was like, Ooh. Yeah, yeah. I think it was totally fine. He was there waiting for him. It was the middle of the night, three in the morning to three in the, you know, like three in the afternoon. So it was throughout the day. So it was a long,

[00:26:23] Geoff Hylton: [00:26:23] Uh I'm sure.

[00:26:44] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:26:44] years ago.

[00:26:47] Geoff Hylton: [00:26:47] not going to ask. Yeah. I'm not going to ask any more of her. She's a good dog. Yeah.

[00:27:05] You've come in without having to be reminded because you looked at my, my, you saw my schedule, my calendar, which is. Posted in here, I was

[00:27:14] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:27:14] the wifi or stuff. And you saw a Hilton on the board and you know, you had forgotten about it, but you assumed that I, that I didn't make an error. So you showed up without me having to remind you, and then I have to gently tell you I'm actually here to talk to your mother.

[00:27:44] Geoff Hylton: [00:27:44] I will. It will be. So the fall is harder, hard to do. Cause I was pretty proud of myself. Uh, Jacob came over last night and we, we talked about a lot of stuff, but uh, he told me that he had talked to you and that he told you the story about me going down there and going surfing and.

[00:28:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:28:13] I don't do it. Well, it wasn't even just that.

[00:28:31] Well, I've surfed before. I know we talked about that too. Like you did it. Yeah. That was a mistake. Yeah. Sorry about your skydiving too. Um, cause that image of a little man riding you through the sky has always been. Funny to me,

[00:28:50] Uh, but if you can't just follow the ground, but don't fall on top of me. And I was like, you know, I took that as a challenge. I was like, I get squat tenent, you little man. So [00:29:00] I pulled it off. I walked it off like a pro I looked down and his legs are just like at my knees. He's like, all right, take me over to that table.

[00:29:21] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:29:21] I bet there is.

[00:29:29] And we don't take any responsibility and all that stuff. Marley,

[00:29:33] Geoff Hylton: [00:29:33] fault. Yeah. 150 bucks. It's

[00:29:50] it

[00:30:11] [00:30:00] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:30:11] Wow. Take your time. I'll go on your, on your, uh, you start when you're ready. I'm recording already. Okay. What the fuck

[00:30:44] Geoff Hylton: [00:30:44] You know what? I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Be more sociable and up to date to not cancel or anything. And you brought your dogs. Yeah, well, I was down here using the internet the other day.

[00:31:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:31:09] um, well I hate to waste, uh, I mean, surprise. I am surprised and I really would be appreciative.

[00:31:38] Geoff Hylton: [00:31:38] well then what is it? If it's not an interview, what are we doing?

[00:31:54] Geoff Hylton: [00:31:54] You too timing. No. Good.

[00:31:58] Geoff Hylton: [00:31:58] though. Bitch. [00:32:00] This is the best one.

[00:32:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:32:09] Well, I appreciate you coming in anyway. Um, It's always good to see you.

[00:32:17] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:32:17] Well, I, I was just going to say, how about if we do this one, like next week? The people are asking for another Hilton. I don't know. It's crowd pleaser.

[00:32:32] I'm just, if anybody, if it could have been anybody,

[00:32:50] Geoff Hylton: [00:32:50] fair enough.

[00:33:02] [00:33:00] Geoff Hylton: [00:33:02] Yeah. Good. Uh, I was on the water. I went grabbing, uh, so I was gone through the day and I missed seeing my sister. She was in town. Oh, I miss seeing my sister. She was in town and I didn't get my mom anything. I just went over and convince my undying love for her and told her that she's the best mom in the world.

[00:33:25] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:33:25] today's mother's day Jeff Hilton.

[00:33:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:33:40] You miss that? You're screwed.

[00:33:47] Geoff Hylton: [00:33:47] I'll be completely honest. Uh, I've been super, super busy lately and I. Didn't make the time to get her anything. That's all, that's it that's the truth. Sometimes I [00:34:00] do that and sometimes I get it right.

[00:34:10] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:34:10] Well, she's coming to hang out with one of your buddies, so she must not think you're horrible. She's probably doing this as a favor to

[00:34:18] Could be. Yep. Nope. You can. Yep. I told her same thing. Like nothing's off the, except that whole David Hasselhoff thing. Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

[00:34:30] Geoff Hylton: [00:34:30] that. Yeah, no, that's the great, that's it, that's a great story. I was actually proud of myself that in the midst of that extreme drug intoxication, uh, from those psychoactive drugs that I was able to still make a joke.

[00:34:50] Geoff Hylton: [00:34:50] the floor in his closet. He tried to kill this big giant Burgard his daughter's filming him and he's shit faced. Uh, why was the equivalent of being that shit face, but off of [00:35:00] medications that doctors had prescribed me, like with, you know, I'm in a bunch of other ones, uh, the hits.

[00:35:26] And, uh, I was eating it with a

[00:35:31] Geoff Hylton: [00:35:31] remember, uh, I really don't remember any of this. They make the heat of the bowl and my mom was really concerned because obviously it was. Acting like a drunk person. Uh, I was slurring my words. My eyes weren't open. I was clearly having trouble.

[00:35:56] So she started videotaping it. And then I noticed you could see in the video, I [00:36:00] started like picking up on what's going on. And I noticed her, like in the question she's asking me, you know, she's trying to. Lead you and I kinda pick up on what's going on and I'm like, mom, don't, don't you stop it. I know.

[00:36:21] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:36:21] And then you called her back later and Mel Gibson direct. Screamed at her answering machine about the Jews.

[00:36:31] Meatloaf Jame meatloaf the artists. No, she it's like a, I mean, that's her, I wouldn't eat it. Doesn't have meat look that I am

[00:36:47] Geoff Hylton: [00:36:47] that. I was given the M and M commercial. Have you seen that one? Yeah. I dunno,

[00:37:00] Geoff Hylton: [00:37:00] fashion and time, I have not seen fight club completely.

[00:37:12] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:37:12] couple of other hits. Yeah. He wrote choke, which is another one they made into a movie a much. Better movie, in my opinion, it's funnier, um, about a sex addict who fakes choking in restaurants so that people will save him, he'll bond with them.

[00:37:47] Protecting him. It's, it's a really interesting book. That is interesting. Cause

[00:37:56] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:37:56] uh, save the safe. Your feeling is very addictive. [00:38:00] It's like, especially if it's not very hard to do, it's like, yeah, I could send you 40 bucks and feel like a hero.

[00:38:24] Yeah. And he was choking and I looked over at him and I was like, really? And he was like nodding his head that he was so I got up and I gave him the Heimlich. And on the third, third or fourth thrust, uh, I was like, I'm just going to crush this little man. He was a little man. I was like easy to get crushed to death by me or choke to death.

[00:38:49] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:38:49] Did he say thank you. I probably heard him

[00:39:03] It's like, kind of in the middle though. You want to put your fist between the belly button and your sternum diaphragm, you know, and I got small hands, so maybe just one rib. Got it right up there. But anyway, he didn't, he didn't even so much just pay for my. Going pal chicken. That son of

[00:39:21] Should've let him die. Jeff. I should shut it. Let him die. I can't let him die. Take him out back and bury him.

[00:39:30] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:39:30] If you buried someone that since you are actually the guy who buries people anyway, probably not. How would it be fucked

[00:39:39] I

[00:39:45] Geoff Hylton: [00:39:45] I got one. I got to go do today. Actually. I don't want to do, yeah. Dig it or cover it. I gotta dig it. And then, uh, I'm doing a really long crap day tomorrow, uh, on the lady, Mary and, um, and then I got to [00:40:00] close it out.

[00:40:00] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:40:00] Kevin starting to wind down yet.

[00:40:19] And so when I was done with Rob five days ago, and I've been on the water three days since then, just like filling in for a guy or, you know, doing something for this. And, uh, when do you head up to Alaska? June 15th. So I got not that long five weeks. It'll go quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really want to go, but I mean, it's, it's a weird, it's an interesting feeling.

[00:40:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:40:48] a, it's a tough time to be gone. Miss 4th of July and miss a lot of the juicy part of the summer.

[00:41:00] Make it seem like the two are the same, but it's a similar feeling to, uh, being in jail. Like you feel like the world's going on without you and people are doing things and like, you don't have a choice about being in it or not. Like you're just not in it.

[00:41:15] Geoff Hylton: [00:41:15] If you have a rough, if you're going through a rough time, it's the worst possible place to be? The first time I went up there in 2008, uh, I was dating a girl and it was kind of having a rough patch right before that. And, uh, I went up there and like DEC fellow deckhand asked me one day if I was seeing anybody.

[00:41:51] I was up there for two months that year. Just, uh, yeah, you learn a lot about yourself going through things like that though, but

[00:42:12] Do you want to say a few nice things about her before you

[00:42:36] mom, you're the best mom there is in the world and she was the sweetest lady in the world and I would be. Seriously fucked. If you weren't in my life and you have made a lot of sacrifices for me and you have stood by my side and supported me , she really is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Like her positive attitude has been unwavering in every instance in her life. And she is, uh, probably the most comforting person that I've ever met. And, [00:43:00] uh, and I know I've heard that from a lot of other people too.

[00:43:18]Jeff Nesbitt: [00:43:18] The one who passed away few years ago.

[00:43:22] I didn't know my dad's mom. Okay. Yeah, she was, uh, yeah. Um,

[00:43:31] Geoff Hylton: [00:43:31] Oh, I don't. You don't. I don't know. That's I'm sure she's told me before, but that's something I'll ask her on the podcast. Yeah. That's that's

[00:43:39] Geoff Hylton: [00:43:39] story. That's it?

[00:43:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:43:52] It's probably easier now than it was 20 years ago.

[00:44:08] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:44:08] pretty cool.

[00:44:10] Geoff Hylton: [00:44:10] few times, but yeah, my mom's a treat and she's really interesting. , And she's genuine and she's just the sweetest lady in the world. And I think you guys are, you're going to have a good time talking to her, just keep her on track for the love of God. Keep her on tack.

[00:44:29] Geoff Hylton: [00:44:29] in the family has their thing. It's like the running joke like me and heroin and, and not being able to say no to drugs and my mom and her inability to tell the.

[00:44:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:44:43] well, my job is to get her back on track. You'll see it. We'll

[00:44:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:44:48] All right. Good luck. Hey man , I'll talk to you later. Have a good time. Um, not being that great of a bitch.

[00:44:57] Geoff Hylton: [00:44:57] Okay. I guess I'll just go bigger grade by myself.

[00:45:08] Geoff Hylton: [00:45:08] Uh, yeah. I mean, she's, she is a little hobbled by that neck thing, but she's, uh, she's a fucking trooper.

[00:45:14] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:45:14] She got that

[00:45:22] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:45:22] I have a stiff neck today, really bad. My levator scap on my left side is like frozen and it's hurting me. And so I'm doing the same thing today. So we'll be like, Neck pain buddies,

[00:45:35] Uh, she's been kayaking lately and stuff like that and get in the kayak down there by herself. She's fully capable.

[00:45:43] Geoff Hylton: [00:45:43] that though. The Oregon one. Nice big long one. You haven't done that with heavy.

[00:45:50] Do you like better Washington? Because it was just one day or. Because Oregon is overnight. So you're like you sleep on a sleeping bag on [00:46:00] the ground. You don't sleep much.

[00:46:08] Like he was like three of the board that I hate my life right now. Everybody piled into minivan sleeping and yeah,

[00:46:28] I could probably go on

[00:46:32] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:46:32] That's my favorite part about it.

[00:46:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:46:40] of, you know, a lot of the good comradery experiences have that.

[00:46:45] Geoff Hylton: [00:46:45] stress together together.

[00:46:50] Geoff Hylton: [00:46:50] yeah, you gotta chip. I've been struggling to maintain actually just with how busy I am. I have to put my, put my foot down after tomorrow. I'm not going to do [00:47:00] any other efficient jobs or anything like that. I got some things I got to focus on and, uh, figure out I'm going to look into going back to

[00:47:07] Oh, yeah. For the fire science

[00:47:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:47:13] Dude that learning is great. It really, really makes your brain just like, feel fresh. Well, like

[00:47:25] I know this person, this person, this person it's, uh, it helps having people to, to back

[00:47:38] Geoff Hylton: [00:47:38] Uh, and it's not too late. My cousin Misty, her husband, Andy. He got into it when he was around my age right now.

[00:47:45] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:47:45] Yeah. All right. Well I better go down and make sure your mom doesn't have to try to find her way up here by herself. I hope you've enjoyed this special bonus episode of ramble by the river with Jeff Nesbitt, [00:48:00] featuring Jeff Hilton. If you enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to subscribe and possibly leave a five star review.

[00:48:25] So when we get into like grief and talking about loss and things like that, she really, really knows what she's talking about. We covered all kinds of stuff, lots of stuff about education mathematics. It was overall a very positive, uplifting podcast so I hope you enjoy it.