Welcome to the second part of my conversation with Antonia, the author of "Dismantling the Third Dimension." In this episode, we continue our journey of self-discovery, healing, and transformation by shedding light on the intricate relationship between fear, pain, and personal growth.

During this episode, we delve into the following key areas:

• Victim Mentality: Our conversation delves into the concept of victim mentality, wherein we acknowledge the pain that individuals experience. Moreover, we encourage a pivotal shift towards self-awareness and empowerment. The discussion revolves around the idea of taking ownership of one's pain and deriving valuable lessons from it.
• Overcoming Challenges: Antonia shares profound insights on transcending challenges and discomfort. She highlights the importance of releasing the attachment to narratives centred around pain. The discourse also encompasses the process of recognizing delusions associated with pain and fostering a transformative relationship with it.
• Trusting the Healing Process: Our dialogue touches upon the significance of cultivating trust in the healing journey. This involves surrendering to the unknown and relinquishing ego-driven fears. We underscore the transformative potency of self-compassion and stillness as essential practices.

Both Antonia and I, as the host of A Call For LOVE, wholeheartedly encourage listeners to cultivate deeper self-love and compassion for personal growth and transformation.

Explore two magical retreats I am hosting.

Experience of a LIFETIME - Sri Lanka Ayurveda Healing Retreat

One Day Retreat - Joshua Creek Ontario, Canada

About Antonia:

Antonia, is a registered psychotherapist, Ayurvedic Counsellor, Yoga, and Meditation Teacher. In 2006, she experienced a spontaneous awakening that set off a remarkable journey of expansion. During this transformative process, she released a tremendous amount of energy and transcended deep-seated pain. As the discomfort faded away, it brought forth a profound sense of connection to her inner self and the world around her. Through this journey, Antonia came to realize that we are all creative beings with the power to turn our suffering into love. She is the author of Dismantling the 3rd Dimension.

Connect With Antonia here:

www.tribetocollective.com

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Podcast: Dismantling the 3rd Dimension

About Linda:

Have you ever battled overwhelming anxiety, fear, self-limiting beliefs, soul fatigue or stress? It can leave you feeling so lonely and helpless. We’ve all been taught how to be courageous when we face physical threats but when it comes to matters of the heart and soul we are often left to learn, "the hard way."

As a school teacher for over 30+ years, struggling with these very issues, my doctor suggested anti-anxiety medication but that didn't resonate with me so I sought the healing arts. I expanding my teaching skills and became a yoga, meditation, mindfulness, reiki and sound healer to step into my power and own my impact. 

A Call for Love will teach you how to find the courage to hold space for your fears and tears. To learn how to love and respect yourself and others more deeply.  

My mission is to guide you on your journey. I believe we can help transform the world around us by choosing love. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love anyone else? Join a call for love. 

Website - Global Wellness Education

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Hello and welcome to a call for love. I believe the most powerful gift you can offer yourself is to give and receive love more freely. I'm your host Linda Orisni meditation guidance spiritual coach. Everyone has the desire to be seen, heard, respected and loved. The journey to becoming more connected to your greater purpose lies within the ability to live from the deep source of love within you. Let's begin.

Hello, a call for love listeners. Are you ready for more, it's time for part two of my conversation with Antonia, the author of dismantling the third dimension. And if you haven't checked out part one yet, I highly recommend you give it a listen. It really sets the stage for this insightful episode that's about to unfold. I love the second half of our conversation, we touch upon a touchy topic, actually, the topic of victim mentality and the raw emotions of pain that so many of us experience and how owning your pain can lead to powerful lessons. We also talk about overcoming challenges and handling discomfort. Our focus is really on breaking free from the grips of our pain centered stories. Not easy, but so paramount if we want to really live with greater joy. And then finally, building trust in the healing journey about surrendering to the unknown, really spoke braving, letting go have our fears, driven by ego, and embracing the transformative magic of you guessed it, what I always talk about self compassion and stillness. So get ready for a deep dive into self discovery and empowerment. And welcome to part two of my conversation with Antonia.

As we're talking about these emotions, such as pain, I would like to dive into another set of emotions, which I would really love to hear your take on this victim mentality. I have this ying and yang inner dialogue with myself about victim mentality, can you shed some light on that? Yeah, and I'm always cautious because I, you know,

I always want to honor the pain story, the pain that somebody has experienced. But I think most of us recognize the power comes when we read when we can see what that pain taught us why maybe that pain landed there, or how I am sitting with that pain. And when we start to bring awareness into what that pain was there to do and how it served us, then we free ourselves from our pain. And often we recognize we hear from a lot of people who are especially walking a particularly quote unquote spiritual path that they say, you know, X never would have happened unless I gone through that shitstorm excuse my language. So I need it, I can see why I needed to be that uncomfortable in order to get to this understanding. If we come from a framework, then that says, well, then really, which I believe I've decided to come down here into this pain reality in order to learn from the pain reality. That's my choice. And I want to own than all pain, whether this 3d mind understands it or not, some part of me does. And I want to release myself from any part of me that thinks that I can't overcome something, that there's something here I can't learn from that. There's something here that I'm not meant to own completely in order to mine all of its wisdoms, and I can't mine all of its wisdoms, unless I go, yes, that pain is all mine. That thing there that's hurting in my body. I've got to own all of it. Every tiny molecule of discomfort, it can't be anybody else's responsibility. Therefore, I can't blame anybody. If I want to allow my entire being to get in there to heal it and transform it. It's got to be all mine. I can't hand it over otherwise it's going to be stuck. victim says it's somebody else's fault. victim says I'm uncomfortable, this is your fault. And I think that that is now very disempowering. And I used to work in that you know, we all want to victim blame, but from a from an understanding of our own power and our own capacity and need to heal. We need to own it. We have to otherwise it's going to stay there. So if it's a big giant pain we go yes, I'm sorry this really hurt Of course it hurts The world's a bad place. I'm really sorry for yoke. But then when we start to move past that really acute pain phase, and we can arrive at a place that goes, Okay, I'm ready. And now I can go, I can see it all I can be with it all, I've got to own it all, I got to let go anybody else's responsibility for that. Now I can transform it, and turn this into a higher frequency of love and compassion. And I can only do that if I own all of it and let go of any part of me that feels a victim to somebody else. I think it's, it's about my own empowerment to make sure that and the victim story comes up all the time, right, any conflict with my partner, or you blah, blah, blah, right? It really wants to start blaming. But if I'm going to transform and transcend anything, I've got to bring him back into me and go, What is it about my reality that I created that I don't want to see that I have to take responsibility for, if I'm here to turn it into love, turn it into peace, turn it into connection, I have to own it, it's all mine.

That is so powerful, because I am being faced by this in just circumstances. Day in and day out these days. I can't believe it, that I am getting into these conversations with people who are really just, I don't want to say complaining, but sharing their pain story of how they have been victimized. And I mean big, it's been very small, like somebody insulted somebody, they took it as an insult hate, and, and I am witnessing it. And I'm listening to these stories. And I don't really know how to respond to people, because I love that you said you have to honor people for their feelings, you know, they are in a sense of pain, they feel they have been treated unjustly. And maybe so and I'm not judging, because it is what it is. But I feel like my next step is to hold space for people to have the courage to move through it. But I feel like there's blinders on people that they it takes so much courage to be with that. And it's almost impossible for some people. And that

makes sense. This, I think it's 1000s of years of pain we're trying to transcend Well, she her gonna need a lot of courage, a lot of courage to get ourselves out of victim stories, to own it to get back in my own being in my own reality, instead of doing what we've always done, which is looking for the threat out there. It's a lot of courage. So if somebody wants to go in and be in, in their complaint, my job is my work is not to judge it. Because of course, they're gonna complain. We've been doing it for 1000s of years. Of course they are. But it is to find a way for me to be at peace with it, for me not to feed it, for me not to judge it. That's my own personal work. And to model what it is to sit in ownership. And to model what it is to sit in a high frequency to model what it is not to live in a culture of complaint, to act to take myself out of that 3d reality. So I'm no longer feeding it. And keeping us stuck in that place. What can I do when other people are in that space? That's the only place that I can look. And that's not to change complainers not to change people who feel a victim, but it is for me to sit in the highest most loving space possible, so that I can lift myself up. And if anybody wants to join me and sit in this frequency, then here we go.

I completely respect and honor that. I know that I'm a student of A Course in Miracles, just many I study many wisdom masters and their mentality or their framework is that when you see somebody being a victim to their thoughts, right, that I need to say, Where am I being a victim in my life? It's

like it's a mirror. So then I think, Okay, what have I said today or yesterday or done? That was kind of victim mentality. And then I kind of work on that myself. Because I feel like everyone's just mirroring to me. What is going on inside of me? Exactly. Can you feel as you and I are talking like the frequencies rising? It's getting crackly, like we're hitting on a truth, right. And that's when the energy goes to her. So I think it's a vital, vital lesson and it's a hard one because we're so well versed in being the victim and we're so well versed in looking at the other person for crap that we do. So and not looking at ourselves. It is the hardest journey to look at your own pain. Ego is well trained for 1000s of years not to look at our pain to avoid looking at our own stories. It is very difficult, which is why I think we need to get help and support and create communities and adapt and see each other lovingly so that we can pull ourselves out of that really sticky but necessary habit. It

I have my one sister loves this quote. It's not happening to you. But for you that way, same thing. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, that takes courage. That takes real courage.

And that's why when somebody's behaving badly, which I don't think is a real thing, you know, it really is to flip my own fear, shame, rage, and look at it and go, Wow. Like that's, you know, I have my own difficult journey. And I can see yours is not easy, either. I honor you, brother sister for taking that on. I don't need to have it in my living room, because it might be a bit messy your story, but I can honor it and maybe put a boundary up?

Yeah, you know, you don't want to be like a bird that sticks on you. Like, you don't want that energy. No, you want to really shut it off. And so I always say that the the higher vibration, I can radiate that, then may that just shine more light and empathy and kindness to others. Exactly. Yeah. Really beautiful. It is beautiful. Linda, in your book, dismantling the third dimension, you say none of it is real, or there is nothing going on? What do you mean when you're saying that?

Now, you know, for me, it was sort of this it, the logic just kept winding its way down. And in the beginning, it took a couple years as I was releasing pain. So I'd have something in the morning, have a giant cry, a big release, something would move out of me and yoga, some awfulness would come through chain. And I'd be in the shower going well, the world feels really light right now what just happened. And suddenly, the thing that bothered me didn't bother me. And that would be in a second. So eventually, I got to this place, after a few years going, but if it can be there, one second, and then not be there, the next is it actually real can can actually call real. So I began to understand as I continue to release, pain stories and layers of trauma, intergenerational trauma, past life, trauma, ancestral trauma, whatever you believe it to be, I began to understand that I think that we've just constructed layers of pain, which construct layers of core belief which construct layers of perception, which construct layers of behavior. So I think we can peel all that all that back down, release the fear, and suddenly, none of it actually is there at all, like it doesn't really even exist. So I really challenge this pain reality, that when we're ready, we can understand that, that in shedding the pain, where we're shedding a reality, that is not fixed, and therefore is not truth is not immutable, is not a universal law. It just something that we've created in this giant, you know, classroom trauma, of how to transform this fear into something beautiful. So I'm just I became very convinced in the worst throes of the most the deepest agony that it is very important for me to understand that even this even this worst nightmare, where I'm just like, I'm not sure I can do this anymore. But even this is just not real, that this is not fixed, that this is not immutable.

As you're speaking, I just have this word that comes up illusion, illusion, illusion. How many stories and rules and codes Am I making up? That are really an illusion, and the pain and suffering I caused myself? Were even creating deadlines or for mental processes that I have just made up? It's me, it's an illusion. I always have to remind myself. Yeah, I think so. And for those that are more are ready, and we're not all ready to have that conversation to really begin to discuss the illusion delusions that I think our pain really is, even frees us even more, we kind of see it and we go, Oh, my Lord, you're not even real that and that even facilitates it peeling off even faster. It I think it really moves it forward. So

for those who are ready, I really want to have that conversation. Well, is it real? Are you sure it's real? Maybe you know, that that discomfort and that shame and that rage meeting? Can we can we entertain that possibility? And having those conversations like the feeds are liberation?

Yes. And I often say I don't know what's best for me. Mm hmm. And I do not know what's best and surrender, surrender, surrender, scary net. And so scary. It's scary. If you feel like you're not going to have a net to fall into, you know, back in The day they would have that, when they were building community, as the school teacher would have an end, there'd be two people and one person in front would fall into the other person's arm and you got to trust that they were going to catch you weren't trusting that we are going to be caught, that we are going to be supported. I feel I'm going to speak for myself that I can surrender when I know I'm going to be taken care of and supported and held. And you know, that doesn't come from like a person it comes from from me, from the universe, or from, you know, just that belief system.

But yeah, I think it comes from that disconnection from this 3d reality, because this 3d reality hasn't been very trustworthy. I haven't been having very nicely toward each other for a long, long time. Right? We've been raping and pillaging and letting each other on fire for 1000s of years. And so in this reality, it makes sense that we have our nervous system and all the fear stories saying but it's not trustworthy. I can't trust here. And that's why it's so hard. And we and really courageous to let that go and connect to those fine threads of intelligence that are coming and going, I think you can trust now. I think now you can try it on. Let's see what happens when you try it on. And I think that's what we've been doing. Since the 60s 70s 80s is going here's a little thread, try this on and see if you can build a little trust in the fact that there's so much something so much bigger going on that actually there's a bigger lesson going on, that you are much bigger than your mind thinks you are and that this pain, maybe maybe you don't need it so much, maybe it's not so real. So I do think that that there's a real process of shedding so that we can go right, actually, this is what it all is it is about trusting that this reality is no longer what I'm founded in what I'm about.

Do you think it's the ego that's really protecting it that thinks it's protecting us?

Absolutely no, 100% I think ego and pain are the same thing. And it's just, I think it's just serving its own. And that's why it's even more difficult. It's really deeply embedded this fear, and it's so deeply convincing. And believe that it needs to convince us to hold on to that fear. Because if we let go of that fear can be very, very dangerous, who's going to come around the corner and get ya right. So it's telling us if you let go of that fear that shame, or that rage, or that jealousy any of it, that bad, bad things will happen to you, which is why getting out of patterns is so hard right? Changing a bad habit is so hard because egos there whispering in us, telling us that actually, it's scarier to let go of that bad habit than it is to go into into change.

My parents used to say the devil, you know, is better than the devil you don't know.

And that's what ego says, You're I'm the devil, you're gonna love for a long, long, long, long time. And now we're really just trying to get that beautiful devil off our back. Yeah,

it's not easy. No, I

think this is really hard. I think that we can get into a conversation that underestimates how difficult it can feel in the beginning. I also think that that difficulty is a bit of a delusion, maybe an entirely a delusion that we also need to get through before we realize, oh, I even constructed the difficulty for it's actually, none of that's happening either. But I think that pulling ourselves out can feel really challenging.

Do you have any recommendation or a little tool or technique, I always come into my breath to help calm down my nervous system. I tried to mention to some people, you know, let's just try taking a deep breath. But some people are not open to that we're trusted.

They don't trust it actually going to do anything. So I think there's if you're talking about sort of regulating that, that anxiety, that fear space that we're in, I'm not sure. Like I think we have to build our toolbox. And trust as we're building our toolbox, that the more that we practice, silence and presence every day, the more more it'll be there for us. The more that we practice our breath work, the more it's going to be there for us. The more that we shift into gratitude versus blaming, the more that we know that that's going to feed our path. So I think we need to keep trusting that we need to keep building and feeding and practicing and filling up our toolboxes so that we connect to that trust in those those really innate wisdoms.

Yeah, my toolbox has certainly gotten larger over the years and I find for me, the two biggest life transformative practices for me, had been stillness Just just not doing just wait, just just hold space. And the second is for me self compassion. Because it allows me to be with it to shift, shift my perspective, I can't shift my perspective if I'm beating myself up or somebody else, right?

Absolutely. I also look at it as directing the energy of compassion towards self is a healing. Look at it as a physics, we are taking this high energy of love, and we're putting it into fear. The more we do that, the more we trust it, the more we feel it, the more we allow it, the more that the energy of love directed into fear will transform it, the more we trust it. And I tell my clients that if you're starting out a practice of self compassion, you need about two years to gain credibility. Right? It's like being with somebody who's abusive, and then they walk through the door, and suddenly they're nice to you one day, and you're like, what? Like, what are you doing? You don't trust it, you don't trust in the love and the compassion that comes at you. So if you've been really hard and pecking at yourself and hostile towards yourself for years, you need to practice that intervention of self compassion, give it a couple of years before there's something in you that goes, Okay, I trust that actually, you're not here to Bring It On Me or to harm me or to trick me that I believe that you actually can heal me. So I think it's important to recognize their own limitations and some of the work that needs to shift some of these really old low frequency habits.

I, my account for love I say, all love Begins With Self Love, Paul, and why is it so hard for us to love ourselves? You know, when I was smaller? When I was little, I remember once thinking that if you loved yourself, it was being selfish. There was this mentality. I know it's shifted now. But I just all love Begins With Self Love. If we cannot love ourselves, how can I say this all the time? How can we love others? The planet? Everything?

Yeah, absolutely. We don't have it to give if all we are is emitting pain stories. Right? So we need to heal our own inner pain stories ourselves as one source in order for the cupcake to flow over and to emanate outward for sure. Yeah, I think that's a big story. Why are we so hard on ourselves? And I think we can pick at it and all sorts of ways, right? Why we're filled with shame and our shame wants to control ourselves by going don't expect to be loved. Don't expect you're good, then you won't be disappointed when you experience rejection. Right? So there's all sorts of coping strategies embedded within denying ourselves love from ourselves. But in the end, it's all just layers of delusion.

It is. In your book, you say what is real love, compassion? Gratitude is true. And the rest we leave behind? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

All of I think all of that fear, shame and rage is what we're here to transform. And to recognize that, that where we're moving into are the higher higher reflections of our being. And we feel those higher reflections in the practices of gratitude. Right? And in compassion, acceptance. That's how we can bring those higher, higher frequencies in as practices, behaviors and perceptions into this lower realities, this dense reality

note, I love it, and I believe it and I tried to live it Live your book. Just curious, how long did this take you to write? I know, the experience was probably a lifetime. But as you wrote it, you know, maybe the duration and what is your goal here? What would How do you want to see this influence or change? The people who are reading it? It'd be night change is not the right word. But what do you want to offer to those who are reading this book? Yeah, thanks for that question. And so the, the,

you know, I've been taking notes, compulsively every time. I would like often when I have a giant integration, I'd have access to all my this is what's happening. I get it, I understand it. And so I compulsively write that down. And it was last year.

Last year or the end

of 2021. I'd have been such a blur but it was only recently within the last two years that I went there's a book here oh my god and then it just flooded. It just came out pulled in the right people to finish it, edit it and it just just exploded. It was very fast process. It felt very compulsive. And what do I want? So, you know, I think we've touched on a bit of that. One is to start to really add a conversation about the delusion of pain, to change the relationship to pain. And that's not to deny it some more and resist it some more. But actually, how do we get in there and love it, because in that we can transform it that we need to release our attachment to pain. And we are so unconsciously attached to pain that we need to bring awareness to how we're connected to pain, how we deny its existence, we're so connected, it's like this too much that I can't even acknowledge it. This takes up so much space, am I being that I just have to pretend it's not even there, we need to bring that into awareness, we need to start talking about the ways in which we keep holding pain stories in our reality and therefore recycling them or recreating them. So in this conversation with I think I'm hoping to bring more awareness how we are unnecessarily carrying it forward, and how this is a time that we can start releasing it through changing our relationship to our discomfort, ancient ancient discomfort.

I think you do a beautiful job of that. And I think what you are also doing in mindfulness, it says the common humanity. Well, your your message is also that you're not alone. Like this is something that we're all going through. And when you know, it's not just you, then it becomes easier to open up to the experience of healing and transcending. Trusting, trusting. Well said, Linda, yeah, yeah, well said, really beautiful. I'm so happy and grateful that I literally stumbled upon this book. And then we had a discussion so that you could be on a call for love. Because this is my mission, I feel as though we're always on a journey. And where we are in the moment is just a beautiful place. For me, my journey has led from education to now you know, health and wellness. And a call for love is really knowing where we stand. Are we standing in a place of love, or fear, and all the emotions that come with it. And I think that we both share, in many ways, a parallel of this experience. So I'm so grateful that you have been on a call for love. Oh, Linda,

really, it's my total privilege, my honor to be here. I'm very, very grateful to share this space to generate this energy, this connection. It's just truly beautiful. Truly my hearts fall. Yeah,

I feel it too. So how can people you know, get your book reached out to you. Please share

the books available Amazon, you can order it in bookstores, there are some bookstores that have it. So it's on Barnes and Nobles carrying it Indigo like there all the major bookstores are carrying it small bookstores, you know, you can order it. You can find me through my website, tribe to collective.com. All one word, you want to reach out. I do work one on one. Although I'm booked into well into 2024. I do retreats in order to create community healing through community. Some of them are plant medicine. Some of them are more silent. Yeah, there's a podcast just for reflections. I throw reflections on a podcast to try and generate thought and feeling and I have video modules in order once again to feed the reflections on how do we start to think of ourselves outside of this 3d reality. So there's lots of stuff on track to collective if you're looking to if this feed you and this sort of sparks something. There's ways to keep that going. But I'd love to hear from you to anybody who wants to reach out.

Well, I will place all those links in the show notes so that everyone can find you at just a quick click. Thanks. I really appreciate it. Thank you Antonia.

Right. All the best. Lots of love. Big hug.

Yeah, big hugs.