Episode Summary

Episode Summary

In this episode, Ian and Clint had a fascinating conversation about the body's hidden language and how persistent pain can vanish into memory. 

• Find out more about reestablishing the connection by learning how to go back. 
• Find out how happiness may be fueled by money. 
• Realise the significance of persevering and keeping at it, even if the results were unexpected.

Heal your unresolved and unknown grief: https://www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/thegriefcode

About the Guest:

Clint is a rebel who questions the conventional way of life. At 15, he left school and embarked on a journey of self-discovery through hard knocks. From poverty to success, he realised the emptiness within. A pivotal moment came when his back gave in, leading him to a transformative experience on a yoga mat in India. Now, Clint lives life on his own terms, embracing balance, freedom, independence, love, gratitude, and truth. After four years of semi-retirement, he's passionate about sharing his wisdom to help you shortcut the toughest parts of your journey to success.

Link/s:

https://www.rebelwellness4581.com/

https://www.facebook.com/clint.mckay.315?mibextid=ZbWKwL

https://instagram.com/clintmckay87?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://instagram.com/clintmckay87?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

About the Host:

Ian Hawkins is the Founder and Host of The Grief Code. Dealing with grief firsthand with the passing of his father back in 2005 planted the seed in Ian to discover what personal freedom and legacy truly are. This experience was the start of his journey to healing the unresolved and unknown grief that was negatively impacting every area of his life. Leaning into his own intuition led him to leave corporate and follow his purpose of creating connections for himself and others. 

The Grief Code is a divinely guided process that enables every living person to uncover their unresolved and unknown grief and dramatically change their lives and the lives of those they love. Thousands of people have now moved from loss to light following this exact process. 

Check Me Out On:

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ianhawkinscoaching/ 

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I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Coach podcast, thank you so much for listening. 

Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. 

If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info@ianhawkinscoaching.com. 

You can also stay connected with me by joining The Grief Code community at www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/thegriefcode and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal, please subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform.

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request. If any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the Ian Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it. If you've ever experienced any sort of chronic pain, you will know how debilitating they can be and how trapped you can be when you just literally can't move. Or the pain is just so overbearing that has a negative impact on all areas of your life. Now in Clem Mackay story here he talks next level pain like I've never heard described before, and the amount of painkillers he was on that still weren't working, the impact that had on him on his relationship with his wife at the time. And then how he came out the other side and started to deal with the pain. Find the answers that most the medical people that he saw, couldn't give him answers to, and then come out the side to be helping so many people now to move forward. And he's got so much wisdom in here. I wrote down so many points of gold that he shared in this conversation. So you'll take hater out of this one. Get your pen and paper ready. Take notes and enjoy this conversation with Clint Mackay, everyone. And welcome to this week's guest, Clint Mackay. How Eaglin

Unknown Speaker 2:11

Well, thanks, thank you for inviting me on.

Ian Hawkins 2:16

You're all good. Appreciate you coming on. Now, we will just have a quick chat before we jumped on and you're semi retired. And I love that because I've had the conversations and my kids saying I'm not retiring, like I'll always do what I do, because I absolutely love it. So is that similar for you? Or is it a purpose element where you want to be a give back? What Why semi

Speaker 2 2:39

semi? Because it's true. And that's probably the big part for me, I don't need to work. But I also want to turn down something that's a great opportunity. So So it's taken me a little while to sit with this and what it actually means. And it's very interesting, that part of the internal battle that I've had of being able to identify with something. So for the first half of my life, I was over mining, and then I had a motel and I've done a number of different things. But I always was able to say when somebody asked me what I do, I was always able to say, look, I'm this. When I when I basically retired, it was everyone. As soon as I'd say I'm retired people look at me and go, What are you doing, oh my god, go to the beach, or do yoga or whatever else. And it was an awkward conversation. So I really looked into well, patiently I do some work. And I step into a bit of a purpose of trying to help people everywhere I can. So that means that there is work involved, and but it also gives me the freedom to be honest and truthful and do what I want. Awesome. That makes sense.

Ian Hawkins 3:47

Speaker 2 4:01

Ian Hawkins 9:40

So your memories not there of that. But how are you functioning? Like was it like zombie or you actually like decent, decent show and ice

Speaker 2 9:52

zombie lines. So it was a really really interesting space? Because so one of the ones that I was on this list cuz it's a nerve blocker, so it stops the pain at your brain. So, so you can imagine that the pain stopped here. And the problem with that is when the when this wears off, you've just been gone marching through, but also you're an absolute fails, you're just in zombie land, but then the page hits you like a ton of bricks, because you haven't you haven't felt the pain, you just go and go and go, and then it'll just literally stop you when the pain when the when the medication wears off. So

and and that's, that's a solution.

Isn't it interesting that was.

And they skip throwing more and more a?

Yeah. More and more. And it was it was causing, as you can imagine liver problems and health problems and all of those things. So the way this started to turn around for me, was essentially, so I'm going down this path. And I'm, as you can imagine getting pretty depressed. And I think the there's this massive path there where when you're when you're trying to do these things, and I've considered myself and made them in that I can I can do things, it doesn't matter what it is, as I said, I'm tougher than the situation. I couldn't get a bowl out of the cupboard. Like I couldn't brush my teeth, because the angle that I had to be on one hand on the on the bench to brush my teeth. So I'm slowly being incapacitated and being stopped by the smallest things in life. And it got pretty, pretty hectic and pretty pretty. Some really, really, really low points there. And I know that I wasn't good for myself, for my children, for my wife at the time. And you can imagine when someone's when anyone's in pain, and anyone can deal with chronic pain. It's what I found, like you can you can deal with chronic pain, and it sort of becomes a memory. But acute pain makes you want to kill people. It really it when when you slip into that, yeah, I'm paying and now now all of a sudden, it's at a 10 and you can't handle it there is there's very little you can do to come that space. And I've I've spoke to a number of people about this. And it's part of the puzzle, unfortunately. So one. So from there Look, yeah,

I'm just like, I put up with a lot of pain in my life too. But just seems completely insignificant to what you're talking about. Because that's ongoing and level where you're taking painkillers that are like off the charts and are still not working. Part of me thinks is that a reflection of a incredible Lee High pain threshold that you must have as well.

That's, that's definitely a side effect of that as well. So I do have a high pain threshold. And this is like I tried martial arts from when I was a kid, I did all those sorts of things. And there was there was always strong self discipline in it. But also, like my mentors and the people that I had around me growing up, I grew up around men who grew up around men. And there's been a lot of unpacking of situations and scenarios and life stories and all of those things along that time. And I was the youngest in all of my groups. And I grew up around people that I looked at that were tough. My father was the toughest man that I ever knew. Like, he's still it's like and he was, he was hard in in so many ways. And of course I admired that. That was that was a strength that that I absolutely admired. And you can see the ramifications of that down down the track of how that has worked out for him. My grandfather, he was the youngest in Australia to fight all comers in the tents. So he was fighting anyone that challenged him at 16 years old.

What

and I look at that now and I look at I honestly feel like I could fight 2016 year olds all at one time. Like that's that's no worries at all. I feel like that. Yep, I can do that at one time. But to be 16 year old and fighting 40 year old man or anyone that challenges you. That's one tough bastard. So

well, so there must have been a breaking point. Was there like something that Yeah, that. So you're told that we've gotten pretty deep here already. But but like there must have been it all come to a head.

Yeah, look, it really was was gradually but all at once. So I think it's that gradually but suddenly, when when things started going. And the problem that I had not like a lot of people is I mean, I've never had a job like this work for myself at this time. And my wife was relying on me the kids were relying on me at that time we had a motel business, and if somehow I didn't do my shit. The person that was left to carry that way was was my wife. A time. So you can see that this was relatively tragic on a relationship when one person is carrying the burden of the other. I was literally out of options. And this is the thing I was out of options, the the fusion and discectomy. Part of the reason I didn't do it is I've worked very hard on my core, and I've been training a lot. And literally, it was going to be three months. So if they did the, the surgery, it's three, three months, before you can even crack a study. Because that's the core strength, you need to open open a beer. So you can imagine that, over that time, I would be a real burden on the family on everyone. If I couldn't do anything, there's no, when you're self employed, as you might know that there's not really any workers comp, there's not really anything that you can get, there's no help that you can get, and we were making good money. So it's not like I could go to Centrelink and say hi, I'm unable to do anything. You've got money in the bank is that. So yeah, that was really, really large points. And it was kind of a downward spiral of depression. And, and I do use the word grief because it was trying to sustain a family and be the best person you can be when you're when you're not. When you're when you're just not. It's it leaves you in? Well, it led me in some dark places, let's say. Some, I'd say from there. And then that was really the hard point, there was a lot of a lot of questioning of my reality and of all of the things that I could do. And in my in my essentially so mistake from any time that I was off the painkillers, I was in Super amounts of pain. But I'm like, What do I do, I got to the point of I don't want to get back on these painkillers. When the pain specialists and all sorts of things. And one of the pain specialists, he said to me, he said, I can't help you until you at least get off the Neurofen. He said, Because the way that works is it kills the healing cells in your body. And he said that's the first thing you need is the healing cells. It's about your side effect, there's going to be more pain.

And that's like, obviously, like at a very high level. And is that having the same effect for people that are sort of regularly taken your refunds just on a day to day basis as well?

Yeah, yeah. So the spine specialist explained to me said he actually thinks that ibuprofen shouldn't be banned. It should be banned, essentially. Because what it does is it so if you get a cut in your hand, your brain knows there's a cut there and sends healing cells to that body to heal it from the inside out. Right? Yep. But what the what the ibuprofen does, is it actually attacks and kills those healing cells. It eliminates the pain. And that's, they say it's probably okay for headaches, because that's a short term pain that isn't really doing your thing. But also, you're killing those cells that are essentially sent around your body to try and heal that spot. So for cuts, for for for bruises, you need to get that good blood flow that goes to that space to actually try and heal it. And particularly with spine injuries or anything like that, you need to get as much in there as you possibly can. So I had, I've had platelet rich plasma injections in my spine and those sorts of things as well, which make a chunk of difference. It's unfortunate in Australia that we don't have Live X ray for them to actually do the intervertebral disc injection yet. And that would make probably the biggest difference in the world is having those done. But that's a four inch needle going into the into spider. It's pretty sort of risky to get that done.

Yeah, I imagine. So you were talking about how, like you when you're off the meds, you just didn't know what to do. But what was your mental state at that point? Like you said, you went through some dark places, but like, what are we talking? Are you were you at that point? You're like, there's no way out like that dark?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, all of the things combined look, we have so so as it got that, like I'm looking at, there's no way out there is no, this pain is too much. And I don't want to be here. There was a lot of days where I'm like, I don't want to be here. I know. And everywhere I looked at I think so when you when you look for red cars, that's what you find, right? You start looking for looking for those things. And that's what you're saying. So I'm in a dark place, and I'm going everywhere. I look like I can't even walk my kids to school. I'm not helping my wife. I'm draining the bank accounts. I'm an absolute burden here. Everything I'm doing is not helpful. The business we're in I got to a point where I really hated it. I did not want to be there anymore. And we'd set financial goals that were being slowed down by me. And we're set and looking back, you know if we had perspicacity to check in and go, You know what, this isn't really ideal for us, maybe we should sell and get out a bit earlier. Even if we don't make the dollars, maybe that could have been ideal. But ultimately, everything unfolds as it's meant to anyway. But yeah, all of this, I started the healing journey. But ultimately, a lot of this definitely contributed to my divorce and, and, you know, I see my kids every second weekend, now they live three hours away from me. Which is definitely a lovely challenge. And that's that something to me, that's super important to spend the time with the children. And not just for me, but I think, in the world today, it's undervalued the masculine presence and impact that that has on a child. I think I'm not devaluing what women do in any way. And I think that's super important. But I also feel like, from 12 onwards, in particular, I think the masculine role of any male to be in their child's life is super important. I think it really grounds and helps. We're not necessarily the best carers from that one to seven, one to eight, but on on after that. I actually think it's undervalued the role that we have in children's lives.

And not just the father necessarily, but other male figures as well that are that are positive influence.

Absolutely, absolutely. There's a study done in the US. And it's a really quite an interesting study. And it was in one of the lower socioeconomic areas. And they were working out what the problem was, because the kids were turning to drugs, there was there was stabbings, there was murders. There's all of these bad things happening amongst the kids. And when they did the whole of this, this area, in particular, what they found it was It wasn't just the lack of a father in the home. It was the lack of fathers across the board. In the home, there was there was no masculine role models in the city. They're all they're all single mums. And as I said, not taking away from what they do, because they do an incredible job. But the feminine energy does one thing and the masculine energy definitely does another. And I contrary to popular thoughts at the moment, masculine and feminine definitely play different roles in society. And I think that it's extremely important that you have both.

Yep, I would agree. So how do you get from, like you said, you went to some dark places, and came to your head, but But what? What was the next step? Like? You're at a point where you're thinking about checking out, but there must have been something that also found you because this party is still hanging on to hope there must have been something else that started the red car that found you that here's the here's the solution.

Yeah, yeah. So look, it was interesting. And I find it all everything ties together just perfectly as it's meant to write. I was out of options. I really was thinking there's nothing I can do here. I was at the physio one day. And the woman said to me, she was going through some stuff and helping me out and she was, she was really lovely lady. And she said to me through the session, she goes, have you? Have you started doing yoga? And I literally said, No, that's for girls. And and she she laughed, and she said, I'm serious. Have you tried yoga? I said, I'm serious. That's that's for girls. And she? And she said, Okay, look, you you do your life your own way, but I actually think it's going to help. And like, I didn't think much of it until I was driving home from the physio appointment and got home and was feeling worse than when I left. And I'm sitting there and gone. What the hell am I gonna do? What the hell am I gonna do it? And so I made it inside and I was laying on laying facedown on a like a yoga ball. Is that what I call them? The big round balls? Yeah, I was laying on my belly. Just trying to create some separation was fine. I was like, back spasming and I'm trying to just find a place that I could be without pain. And the laptop was in front of me and I'm like, What am I going to bloody lose? Here? I'm at home. I'm at home. No one's here. No one's gonna know. So I jumped on YouTube, and I just put in beginner yoga for back pain. And I'm like, okay, all right. Let's see, you know, see what this is about. So, finally, lie down on the carpet and have a 10 minute video. Okay, okay. I battled through. And I got through this 10 minutes and I went the pains less and like I'm talking within a 10 minute thing. It was noticeable difference that this pain was less and I'm like, no, no, no way in the world. There is no way in the world that the pain can be less over that amount. A time. So I'm sitting there about no one else's time, no, my next 10 minute, don't have a 10 minute one, let's, let's say they're gonna be okay, I can feel that parts of my body are relaxed, a little bit more here. So I sort of was like, I didn't want to say anything to anyone for about it for quite a while. And I'm like, I'm going to start just trying to do a little bit of this daily, maybe five minutes, see how I go each day? No, no expectation. And I literally started doing yoga. And I went down this track, and some days, I would do like 12 of these 10 minute sessions, and go through and I just was finding different ones. And it was, it's an interesting one, because you know, these, these women are talking all lovely. And then this enlightened language and all of these bits and pieces. And after a while, I'm what I'm actually enjoying this, I'm actually starting to enjoy this as well. And I was, I was interested, I spoke to my brother one day, and he had a bit of an injury. And I'm like, Look, have you tried yoga, and he was like, I'm not doing yoga. And I was just laughing to myself. And I'm like, Look, I'm doing yoga, and he got me laughter He loved me, he is you're doing yoga. And it's working. It's actually helping, like, I've been in pain for so freakin long. And it's actually helping. And I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm going to recover. And I'm not saying that, but the pains list. So, after a little while, like I was just doing this day in day out every chance I could like seven days a week, everywhere I could and I stopped sitting on the lounge, I'd set up yoga blocks on the floor, instead of sitting on the lounge, you know, started researching and going down, what's actually healthy. And, you know, what we found is 90% of the time and time we're doing detrimental things to our body, you know, we're sitting in constant contraction, a contraction of our hips. We sit in the car, we sit at chairs, we sit on the lounge, and we're constantly contracting, and we're never opening and flexing your hips the opposite way. This is part of the life we live in. And you know, I've had people talk to me about it over time. And they're like, I want to get out of this, you know, and I want to create this, this space. And I said, Well, what are you doing that's beneficial for us at all? Not much. And we went through a couple things. Someone said, I probably do. You know, I go to a yoga class once a week, how long do you think it's going to take us? Probably you'll never get there. At one hour a week when you spend 144 hours in a week. And you're spending 130 You know, whatever it is hours of that doing detrimental work to your body, like I was, unless you turn something around, you know, nothing changes unless nothing changes, right? Yeah. So this this was a really, this was the start of a big turning point. There must have been from there.

When you were describing just the relief in pain, I got goosebumps as if like almost like you were transported back there and, and just such a significant moment because nothing else to that point, it actually was apart from taking copious amounts of painkillers, believe it that didn't sound like it worked that well, but nothing else had worked. It must have been, like, just such an unbelievably positive moment, even though there was disbelief as you described.

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was a really, really interesting space. And it was complete disbelief as as you start taking in some of this, what the hell is what's actually really changed here, like, where are we? How is this even possible, you know? And so I started doing a lot of reading a lot of research on this, and I never read a book until basically this back injury. So I was 31, just just about 30. And I'm like, not, hadn't read, hadn't done any. My schooling wasn't there. So I failed everything in school. So yeah, I never read a book till I was 30. And I'm sitting there one day, and I said to my wife, I started going to a couple yoga classes. I was like, I was so embarrassed to go to a yoga class. And I'm like, geez, you know, there's, I'm gonna be the only man in the class and, and it really, I was the only man in the class and they're all in there doing their things. And I was the person who was able to leave move the least. Because pretty daunting. But I started going to these classes. And after a while, I'm like, I'm actually really enjoying this. And I thought, I wonder if I can change my life. So there's actually a possibility to teach yoga, or even so that I can learn more, because at the time, I was traveling 30 minutes each way to go to this class. So what, okay, I was thinking about it. I was talking to my ex wife at one stage there and I said, I'm thinking about maybe doing a yoga teacher training. And she said, Well, Wolf, you know, if you think that's gonna help, I'd support that. Okay. So I looked at all of the popular destinations like Thailand and Bali and all of those sorts of places that looked absolutely amazing. But then I also went, I'm actually going I'm going to go to India where it started. I'm going to go over there. So I started looking and I found found a yoga training school. And I was like, I want to do this vinyasa yoga, or I want to do this, this is going to be really good. I've been enjoying this, I think this is going to be great. So turns out and this is the funny thing. So I booked my flights and went over to India and to Rishikesh, which is the holy city, the birthplace of yoga, and went over there. And it wasn't until partway through the course I was like, this isn't the course that I signed up for. Like there's something something's gone amiss here. And it turns out that there's two yoga schools in this city named exactly the same thing. And the one that I've done, or the one that I've done all the research on, was not the one that I went to. And so the funny part was, I'm doing this and I'm like, went to this school and it wasn't until partway through so there must have been a ad come up on the internet like Rishikesh vinyasa yoga school here, and it was a discount. And I was like, great. I'll jump on now. It's discounted. I'll read this Rishi can Mukesh, find yet vinyasa yoga school, and when you start researching yoga trainings, it's overwhelming. There's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of yoga schools across the board particularly in Rishikesh, there's 200 just there. Anyway, so I'm in this trading and I'm like, Holy shit, I thought I was doing vinyasa. And it turns out I'm doing this this practice called Ashtanga, which is super hard and super physical. And over the top like it is traditional down the line. It was reintroduced, made, made popular by Barbie Joyce in the 30s. But this is some of the hardest thing you'll do in your life. And I'm going I don't know how I'm going to cope with this, this is absolutely intense. So throughout this, and I'm like, Well, I'm here, I've got to make the most of it. And they did some pretty wild things. And this and we did some very interesting cleansings and all sorts of things. And I'm like, No, I'm here I'm gonna do the whole lot push through as, as we do. But the the practice this Ashtanga class was the head that there was about six hours of yoga a day. And this Ashtanga class was absolutely breaking point every day. And I couldn't do half of it. And I was moving slow. And I remember and I can even think back now to go. Something to look where I started and how far I've come over the last number of years. It's incredible. The pain that I was in doing that practice, when I first started was was incredible. But it actually slowly, so does two things. Well, three things when you're when you're doing yoga or stretching. One is your oxygen, oxygenate your muscles. Number two is you hydrate your muscles. Three is stretching, but also you desensitize yourself to PE.

Hmm, interesting.

So, the way in which the primary series work should hang on to the second. The way in which the primary series works is predominantly for unfolding. So you do a lot of forward bends, which means you're in and out of flexion extension a lot. And the way my spinal injury actually was, so the discs stacked like this, the discs, I've actually had the disc pushed out at the back. So what I found is when you roll forward and your spine contracts this way, it actually feels really good because it takes the pressure off the disk at the back end, just trying to make sure we can see that it takes the pressure off the disk at the back. But then when you come up, you've got to be careful not to go too far forward. Because as the disc pushes together, it actually pushes that disc further out of your spine here, right. So even though it feels amazing, it's detrimental. But what you've got to do is find this, this balance of contraction, where you're where you're relieving the pain, and the back pain, which actually pushes the disc back into its place. Now that hurts, that's that's a lot of pain and a lot of inflammation. The wonderful thing was is I was already on a lot of painkillers. So I stayed on the painkillers throughout the practice. And this genuinely started turning, turning my life around. Not straightaway, as I said gradually, gradually and suddenly. And over time, I'm not saying I'm completely pain free, but I'm able to sit here without pain. And I'm able to manage my pain now. And it's a really interesting things. Occasionally I'll have like one anti inflammatory here and there if I know I've loaded loaded my back. But over time, and as the as the as the yoga has got stronger my strength, my core strength building credibly. The pains actually really, really diminished to a level that there's no way I would ever consider surgery. There's no way in the world that I would consider that gone down this path. So I've created core stabilizing muscles, but also the ability to move freer and the flow on effect which I really didn't expect and I knew nothing about was the way you feel physically, dramatically impacts how you feel mentally. Here, right. So what I've, what I've found along this path is, you start doing the self care doesn't matter, self care looks different for everyone, you've got more capacity. And I've found that at any time, if I dropped my practice, now, if I don't do yoga for three days, I can start to see that negative thoughts come in the mental capacities lower my capacity as a father, as a husband, as all of those things is less. So so it's not just that I'll notice it physically my back or start being in pain, I literally there's, I know that if I get into doing something, and I push hard, yet, like my body across the board is is suffering, but my mental capacity is suffering majorly. And I noticed that the flow on effect of this is huge. And so I became a teacher, a yoga teacher. And basically, that's a lovely gift that I can give to people that I've taught yoga just to simply try and help people across the board.

So good. And you know, you're, you're finding purpose when you are helping people avoid what you were stuck in for many years. Right? Yeah, I'll let you finish what you're going to say. But then I wanted to jump in with a question. So keep going

that, for sure. It's it's an interesting point that I find with self care and these finding your most capacity. When you've done that, essentially, we have the ability to be better across the board. And, and I've noticed that if you don't do these things, the content in your life directly reflects the way you feel and feeling is what you get for things. So it's this little round circle that I've that I've found of, if you don't do the physical thing, the mental thing comes in if the mental thing comes, the physical thing doesn't. So somewhere, we've got to break that circle. And I've found that my experience through this, I've been able to really resonate with a lot of people and be able to say, hey, look, it might not work for you. But this is what has dramatically helped me and I've brought a lot of people into yoga and into a healthier space for themselves, just simply because I don't want anyone to go through what I did. And yes, it's, I feel like this life is worth is for more than just living.

Or I love that. I love how these accidents which are accidents take us to places like the chances of them having an attack of the same name and you ending up in the practice that obviously you were meant to do. Just the it's almost like whether it's God or the universe, just having a bit of fun with us. But it's it's magic. how that turns out. So good. So at that point, it sounds like you're still married. So you're coming out the other side of a fog of pain. But it sounds like probably there's a fair bit of damage done to the relationship at that point. So does it as you're getting better is it does it then start to unravel?

Yeah, look, there's there's a lot of things that that change throughout this. One of my poor coping method mechanisms throughout pain, and throughout some of these things was being unfaithful, that was one that was one part of it, that was a really, really shit thing to do. And that was a side effect throughout some of that there's there's a lot of other things amongst it all as well. But what I've what I've found is generally, we all need to find a way to cope. And now coping is not the best strategy for anything. It's really, really not people are doing things to get by, and how many of us finish the day at work and kick back and have a beer and just chill out in front of the TV because that's how you're coping. That's not thriving. And it's not congruent with. Most people want to want a better life. And most people have drawn a picture of what they want their life to look like. And if we haven't done that we Tembo should, because that way, we can look at what's congruent with creating a life on the path we want to be. And it's very easy to go, hey, well, and that's not positive towards my relationship that's not positive towards my health. There's not positive towards my relationship story. So there was a number of things that come out of that, and it caused pain for a lot of people around me, but also what I've found, and I My advice to anyone is if you go down a path of self healing, self development, self change, doing better in your life, and you give it a better relationship, try and get on the same page as that as your partner. Try and make sure that you're both on the same page of growing in the same direction. Because what ends up happening is when someone takes a step of growth, even if the other person is growing, but if it goes like this See what it feels like as you're growing apart? And it can cause a lot of resentment amongst that.

Yep. And I think anyone anyone who's been through any sort of growth would have had a moment like that, where it feels like there's a disconnection happening. And and that's the dance, right? You need to be able to find a way to be able to bring that connection back together. And if you don't, well, then that's when things start to unravel.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And, look, I would say that I learned something just just recently, as everyone has a map for how we do life, right, we have this map of what our life should look like what we want it to do. But at high resolution, the maps kind of damaged, and it's not very clear. And, and if your maps not clear, how is the map of your partner going to have any different when you're on completely different pages, and I like to say to my wife, I want us reading the same book, same book, on the same page reading the same light, okay? Because if I'm on a different page, even if we're in the same book, it makes no bloody sense. You are timings all off. And it causes little problems that you don't need. Whereas if it's like, Okay, today, we set an intention, what are we gonna look at? What does the day look like? Okay, we really, we both want to go to the gym. Great, no worries, that's a priority for us. We want to create a space here where we can both move into this and do this together. Great, that's good. You're going to do this, I'm going to do this wonderful. We're working towards a common goal. But we've outlined it so clearly, that it gives us the opportunity to thrive. And rather than Copan. And I know that that's what I was doing. And I know that so many people in life are just surviving. And not being clear. And I'm not a relationship counselor. But I would say if you think you're communicating with your partner, keep trying and try harder, because you're probably not, you're probably not. And and it's as simple as even if you think you are the high resolution part on your map isn't perfect. How can the other person be on the same same line? And that causes discrepancies quite easily.

Yeah. 100%. And, and again, it's like if you've, if you've made any changes, then there can be discrepancies. But it comes back to exactly what you talked about is that you have to have that clarity. And the more clarity you can get the better. I love what you said, like when you when you actually zoom in, then you're going to find the details. And if they're not as they need to be, then yeah, you're going to run into problems. It's great description,

perfect. The easy way to look at that is this. If I'm going to draw a map to go to Sydney from the Gold Coast, Yep, cool. At low resolution, it looks like a straight line right? Straight down from Gold Coast to Sydney. But relatively straight at low resolution or could be going through Tamworth, I'm still going to get to the Gold Cup, I'm still going to get the Sydney. But when you zoom in, you're going I'm wasting time I'm wasting energy, I'm wasting money. I'm actually lost. If I ended up in Tamworth, and I'd said to my partner, well, you look or you're coming up from from the Gold Coast, we'll meet along the way. And I'm in Tamworth, bloody hell, you're not even you're not even close to the same year, and you're actually lost. So if you get into the high resolution part of the map, and it seems so silly to to look at it, so Okay, what does our morning look like? And I was chatting with a couple of us the other day, what is your morning look like? Ah, I need to get out of bed and I need to get on my shoes, and I need to go for a run. Cool. That's great. What is yours look like? I want to spend some time with my partner before doing too much in the day. Well, yeah, you've got a map. Is it the best map we can have? Maybe not. But we want to be really clear about creating it. That's the way I see the world works best, right? And this isn't necessarily any advice. But I feel the world works best. When a couple is on a team together, and they work as one energy. And I feel that the world grows great when we work towards common goals that aren't just about money that are about doing better in the world. You know, and I see. I feel like the majority of us want to change the world in some sort of way, but don't necessarily know how. And I sent a great little comment a couple of days ago and it said people worried about, you know there being a time machine like if you went back in time and changed one thing how drastically that could change the future. Why don't we think about that day to day? How drastically could change the future by one thing you do today.

So good I yeah, I couldn't agree more on that. That sense of team and the energy it's on from a sports perspective as I look at most things, because it's been such a big part of my life. And it's like, there are certain things in high functioning and high performing teams that get done that I just don't see enough in people's houses. And that's like being able to have clear and direct feedback, being able to receive that in a way that's not taken personal, to be able to encourage each other, to be able to lift each other up to be able to want the best for each other and, and while they may be the intention, Now, unfortunately, we've got so many of these old behaviors and old patterns that get in the way, right.

Yeah, yeah. It's, there's so much to creating a team that it needs a little guidance around. And I mean, no one taught us how to have a marriage or have a partner or any of those things, or how to bring up children. And even if they did, that was in a different world. You know, 20 years later, we don't live in the same world we do. And so again, I really liked that having the perspicacity so perspicacity is the ultra presence to be in this space, and to go, this is what this situation needs. And I'll tell you what, if you can find any of that, every part of your life improves, every single part of your life improves, if you're, if you're in a team, and you're like, okay, this person, like on a football fit, this guy's the runner, this guy is fast, we'll make sure wherever there's a clear spot, we'll throw the ball, get the ball to this guy, because he's the fastest, and all that takes is sitting with the people and go, alright, this is this is how the team dynamics work, if you're not present, and you're like, I like this guy, here's my friend, I'm gonna give the ball to this guy, you're gonna lose your gun, you're given the ball to this big guy that just, you know, is 30 kilos overweight, but he's got a big heart. And you know, he really shouldn't be on that part of the team anyway, maybe you should, whatever party should be. Everyone has value, and everyone has a unique purpose. It's not all the same. It's not all the same. And that part about being able to give feedback and not take it personally is, is an interesting one. I've found, over my time that most arguments started over difference in opinion, they started over tone of voice, and delivery.

So good, so good. And, again, if I use another sports analogy, that sports cycle, say you focus on process, and if you've got a good process for it, then it takes the emotion out. And if you can stay calm through the process, then it makes sure that no emotion gets into it. And I think like you said, no one's taught us this. And it sounds like you got to see my passion. For me. It's like we need more people to have these tools to have these processes and have these strategies because it's not as difficult as we've been led to believe.

Yeah, I feel a world grows great. When we have more free thinkers, when we have more creative and inventive people, and people that absolutely have the freedom to choose. And I that's, that's something I'm really passionate about now is helping people get into a space of being able to create that because most I'm gonna say most men live a life of quiet desperation. If you were to ask most, most men, if they're happy, the answer is not like, I used to do this a lot. I used to say to people, are you happy? Give me a first meet someone. Are you happy? Are you with love? And where I asked a few basic questions, and then asked the same questions about 10 drawings in what I used to get is, Am I happy? Yeah, I'm happy. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And are you in love? Yeah, yeah. love my wife. Yeah. 10 drinks like, are you happy? No, I, there's so much about my life that hey, are you in love? Well, I'm still here. I love the woman but I don't know about in love.

Yeah, it's, um, I actually did a quick post on this this morning. It's like this. It's almost like, men think they've given up their power if they admit that something's not quite right. If if they admit that maybe someone might have some knowledge or wisdom that they don't have. And so we keep it to ourselves. And it's like, no, like, we women get together they talk and they talk about these different things, which is, which is why there's not the same challenges with women's health zero, whereas with men's health, but let's do it, there are other challenges, no doubt, but for men, it's like we're keeping this stuff locked down. And it's why it's one of the fastest growing death rates in Australia because men are taking their own life because they're not talking.

It's a it's a very interesting space to play into that and I went to a men's circle I'm occasionally I go to these things and I have a beautiful therapist that I Spend some time with because I think it's easier to change the oil on a vehicle that the change agent. So so what I say by that is sometimes all you got to do is the maintenance check in, you've got someone that you can go to, that's not your partner, because if you're coming to your party constantly burdened, or once, once I've got, I've got all of this and I need to dump it, most people go into fixing it, and that at all, it feels like burden, it doesn't feel like that. Whereas if you got someone that has an objective perspective, that's a good listener. Most people think as they speak. So if you give someone enough time to speak, and what you'll find, and what I've found is, if I give my wife time, and she's and I often we both say to each other, I'm thinking as I'm speaking here, and what you do is you go through your process, and you go, okay, yep, you figure it out on your own. Eventually, you don't, you don't actually need someone to jump in and fix it. And all of us need that, particularly men. But when I went to this men's group, I would say it was the first time in my life. And this is only a couple of years ago, that I actually felt heard. I don't believe that anyone actually ever really listened to me until that time. And I was like, this is this is insane. This is insane, that I'm a 34 year old man, and nobody has actually really listened. And you know that you go on through the depths of hell. And that was a quite a grieving time as well. We had some serious relationship issues at the time. And I was going through this and they go, and what else keep talking more what else? They weren't, they weren't saying, I need to do this, you need to do this. They're gonna, what else is there? What else and go deeper on that we need to hear it. And I think a lot of that as, as you have the ability to think as you speak, without someone trying to give you their necessarily feedback to their job in the end anyway. But just the act of being heard, takes that damn burden off your shoulders, and I do I feel like across the board, men are so heavily burdened by their responsibilities. Yeah. And I think even that, even the word responsibility has probably taken off. I think when we look at responsibilities, most of us think of a chore or have something that you have to do. Whereas responsibility is actually two words, and it's the ability to respond. Yeah. So if we look at that language, I actually have the ability. Now, if I have the ability, that's not a, that's not a chore, this is something that I can do easily. That's one of my abilities. So I have the ability to respond to certain things, these things, I need to own my spacing. And so many of us, me, definitely included, had sat in a space where I wasn't owning my space, I wasn't really stepping up, I thought I was I thought I was but essentially, by holding back, and by not not getting the help I need but not doing the thing. You know, I was detrimental. And I think when we look back to happier parts in your life, and I was like, when I was single in particular, I was a really, really fun person to be around, everyone was always at the house I loved, you know, hanging out doing those things. That changes over time, because I burden myself nobody else burden me, I burden myself with the responsibilities. So when only only me is in control of my destiny and the things that I actually do. And so often, it's easy to place the blame and go us and we need to do this. Whereas it's actually me. And I found that throughout my last relationship was that often the projection that we live in is not a real perception. It's not actually what's what's happening, what we're projecting into the world. What I see is unit, you said that you need this done, you said earlier, and I've taken on the responsibility of the things that somehow I've taken this, but that's not real.

Yeah. And that's been my experience to just had a conversation about it this morning is like, the pressure that we place upon ourselves is more often than not other people's agendas, even if we think it's our own. It's like, well, what, what's actually going on there. And it's that projection from other people that we've heard again and again, and again, it just becomes our default. Klimkin Do you mind if like you've done a fair bit of work on yourself, so I feel like this is a safe bet for you. But do you mind if I just dig around some of the things that I've had shown up my body over a couple of the things we talked about?

Yeah, for sure.

So, you talked about that. that can't know which point it was, might have been around the pain and that sort of Utah met negative thoughts. And I felt this wave of sadness. Now, I'd love for you to unpack this because a lot of people are chasing money, right? And I think that's going to be the source of their happiness. What you're someone who's semi retired, money's not an issue. And yet, there's still stuff there. Right? Of course, right, which we know. Yeah. So So for someone who has money, what are the primary things that do come up for you? Because I want to paint a picture for people to see that this, this is the real work.

Okay, so this is a very deep, multifaceted question. All right, so I was extremely broke in my life, like starving, boiling Creek, water, eating kangaroos, that sort of stuff. So I worked my ass off to get money. Now. I believe I definitely went about it the wrong way, as far as I've learned things, but I look back now. And when I was with my ex wife, we had two brand new cars. We had two businesses couple $100,000 Fair in the bank, to kids, the wife the job that everything that anyone looking in goes, You're a successful person. But I still wanted to shoot myself in the head. Yeah. So. So my big thing was I push as I push everyone to question what they really frickin want. And I and I can't tell you what that is. And I won't tell you what I think that is. But we are taught and we are sold this in no other clear ways, a bullshit dream. And we're sold it from the elite from the government, from our parents, and with sold a dream that most of us don't really want. We sold this dream of, first of all, the house, the kids, the car, the job, get all of those things, and you're going to be happy, I'm here to tell you, you won't be because happiness isn't a future event. If you can't find joy in moments and small things, you're not going to be joyful when you're rich. And I think I said to someone recently, that's on a very, very intrinsically involved in making a lot of money. And I said, I think it's extremely important that you fulfill your goal. I really, really do. I'd love you to do that. Because right now you're making everything about that. And you need to go through this. To find out that lifestyle shit with money. If you haven't fixed this small thing. You need to find out that being successful is the most important thing in life. And I really think that everyone should be financially successful to understand that there's no value in it. It definitely is easier to cry at a Ferrari than on a pushbike. That's, that's for sure. Uncertain, that's for sure.

Yeah.

And again, I'm very big, we, we all need to catch up so that we can escape the matrix because unfortunately, the world we live in, if you don't have cash, you're not really free. But also, we need to check in and go do I want to have a house because often houses just the trap that we bought into that you don't really want like when I when I so amazingly, when I left my divorce, I actually left with money, I actually, I was expected to not have any money whatsoever. So I decided the money I did have that I was just going to blow it and, and really enjoy that. So I had a great 12 months, I had an absolute blast. But I actually ended up with with quite a bit. And I looked at what I had an asset and whatnot. And I went, if I sold this, I wouldn't be able to put down a really good deposit on the house that I'd own, I'd still have a mortgage, but I'd have to go to work. And I would have to do some things and to be paying off the house, right. Or if I lived a basic life and use that money in an investment. I could pay my rent and put $700 a week in my pocket without working. Nice. The choice for me was really, really simple because I didn't give a shit that much about having a house and I'm like, I can live an amazing life. I can do my things. I could pay my food, I could do this. I can go to the beach and do yoga, I can go for push bike rides, I can go skateboarding, I can go and spend time with friends and read. Well, there's not more to life than living. There's each each day is so built for us to live in. And I think so many of us get caught up on the haves and the have nots, and we've got to have the fancy car and, and the bullshit house and the you know, the designer clothes and whatnot. I'm like, You know what? Having things is a very, very temporary happiness and there's there's merit to buying things yet you get that that absolute beautiful thing of being able to have that stuff and it's there is merit to that there is definitely merit in that bit of joy. But the real joy in the real work comes from within and it really really does for times like this, where we can spend and catch up and really, maybe one person takes one thing out of this, and I look at it as if we can change one person's world, we've changed the whole world. Right? So people ask, is the apocalypse real? Yeah, of course, it's real. Because consciousness is a projection from your space. Yeah. Consciousness, the reality of this world is a projection that I project onto it. So without me this reality isn't real. So if I die, that's an apocalypse, the world ceases to exist.

I love that. That's cool.

So if I change one person's world, then I've changed the whole world have not. So sometimes small things, it's those small things. And it's, that's why I was speaking to you earlier, what I've what I've embarked on at the moment is trying to help some people really, really change change their world, and find some little strategies that they can encrypt, increase and just just upgrade just just a little bit. And maybe that's the space of change that someone needs. And I think when it comes to that, though, is I'm very aware of what's right for me, it's not right for anyone else. And I see and I see this pushed down the line, as I say, with this Great Australian Dream. Everyone that I know of has a plan that their children should should do, you know, they should get up they, when they when they finish school, they should have a thing and we push him into what they should be doing. My son's one of the smartest people I know, like he outsmarts me by far, like, I will ask him questions. And he will tell me what happened in 1943, in which part of the war and where this happened, and how that how that's relevant to what's going on today. And all of these things at the moment is 15 years old. And he's working at the local IGA. And he's enjoyment. And I My encouragement for him is this. Keep doing that, if that's what you enjoy, I 1,000% believe you can go anywhere in your life. And you could be a scientist that you could be whatever you want, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Yes, money has to be a side effect. We live in a world where cash matters. But also, what happens if you die tomorrow? What happens if you die tomorrow? Is any of it worth it? Is any of it worth it? And I see so many people that buy into a uni degree that they never bought to use and they've just burnt five years of the prime of their life. To do what with?

Yeah, and then having a debt that they got to pay back for the power of many first years of their working life as well. Yeah, we were talking about this just before we jumped on right. Like so. My eldest having a gap year. Your work they're doing is just like brings them so much joy. Yeah. How good how good comes home Absolutely. buzzing. Hey, Clint, Can Can I just ask one about the back because I had an L five challenges Well, pars defect laid me out. Certainly, like I said, there's no comparison, right? Because the grief of what happens through the event is what is the real personal part. But I did heaps of learning about the that part of the body and the impact and a lot of that is around that space is around giving and receiving. And which is why so many people have that lower back problem. It's around money right? But the root cause is not around money. It's around feeling worthy feeling safe feeling seen feeling heard those things you've talked about. And for me, it was probably more with on my dad's side. Was there have you unpacked the actual root cause of of that lower back injury and be able to make sense of it in any way?

Yeah, yeah. So we have a book somewhere here as well. My wife's Absolutely, the secret language of the body is what the books called. And she it's got all of the bits and pieces where it relates to your body because anything physically shows up emotionally first, and somehow, somehow we would write manifestos, right we're really great manifest errs. So if, if what you think about is what you bring about often, if you're like, I'm gonna get to do the drive and I'm gonna carry the weight, and you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, you're gonna end up with shoulder pain or you know, there was something that came up recently for for my wrist that it was like and I went through and I was right wrist and, of course, that's exactly what I'm thinking about. That's where I am and I'm overdoing it in that area. Back is a really interesting one. So at some massive percentage of men that really strike back pain, and you've got to look when when you do talk about the financial burdens, success is the father line. So proving yourself to your father and your worth. Going to do it Put your back into it, you know, like you literally are going to put an ad push harder than you think necessary to prove your worth to confab. So, this is really really large across the board.

Yeah. And is that what you found?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. My father is, he's a very interesting man. And he's, he's very inspired. And he's been in and out of money and all of those things. But I've seen him get up and like, try something and fail, try something failed, try something and do well, and I've seen him do that more times than anyone would ever care to try. He is He has got up more times than anyone would ever imagine. And it's just, it's actually mind boggling to see that. And that obviously comes with its own problems for his life. But for me, it's, there's a balance in here somewhere, there's a there's an absolute balance, because if you keep falling down, well, maybe run your bike wrong. And so there's an absolute point of, we've got to, we've got to have the presence to know where and what we can actually do and what we can achieve. Because that we've heard that one before, it's you can't judge a fish by its ability to client, some people aren't meant to do certain things. Now my wife is heavily involved in epigenetics. So she, her passion is a program where they do epigenetic testing, they do a number of specific measurements, where they find out your specific genotype. And what works amazing for you. So what that what they'll find is your best time to wake up in the morning, your ideal time to work your best time to use your brain, your absolute strengths and your weaknesses. So when they do this, and we're all born into this, we're born with a specific genes that you can go like, for me, I have the ability to, to continue for long periods of time that's very built into my body. Should I push too hard? No. Should I should I try and be like a someone that should go on a strongman challenge? Definitely not. And when I've tried those things, it's failed miserably. So imagine what the world could be like, if we had that ability. And you knew those things about yourself. prior to attempting some of these things. It's like, man, that's not my strength. That's not my strength, you have a look at what they call as an activator. And it's the the shorter, leaner, men and women but they're usually short, they're usually quite fit and quite thin. Those people are designed to run. They're designed to get up and run super fast and be active and they live in the now they live in the moment and they fire now and you'll get you'll get if you say to him, What do you think about it, they'll give it to you on the spot without thinking about your emotions. That's that's often and his journey. And the idea is to transcend this and do better than than what our biology is. But if you know those things to start with, Geez, you're in a little bit of space. Yeah, you've similar similar Yeah, yeah. So I look at all of these things. They all intertwines everything I'm talking about here. The first thing you need to know in life, and it doesn't matter what it is, where you're going, whether it's your relationship, whether it's your money story, whether it's what you want to achieve in life, is where you are. So if you don't have a good sense of direction, and you need to know like, if you were to fly right now from if you were to fly to China, how do you do that people that I spend with this question, it's like, I get on a plane. Yeah, right. Cool. What? How do you get on a plane? I booked a plane, from where? From? Where are you from Sydney vertical? How do you get to the airport? If you don't know where you are? How do you map it out? Clearly. So if you know exactly where you are in space and time, then we can make a clearer picture to get the China cool. I'm in Sydney at this direct this address. I know it's a 30 minute drive to the airport and get there quite simply. That's cool. All right. Now we can look Sydney to China, what is the best options? Oh, yeah, we can have a look at our best option to get there. And that really maps out a clear strategy for all things. If you're if you're in a place and I use this exact end answers. If you've got to set yourself a goal to be a millionaire, and you have $5 in the bank, we'll try to do that in 12 months is very unlikely, and you're kind of setting yourself up to fail. If you set realistic, achievable goals, yeah, I think we should have big goals, but I also think they should be achievable. Because there's nothing worse than getting to the end of the 12 months and think that you're a loser because you didn't make it so so I think there's a whole lot in the self development world that needs a little more attention and that ability to tune in with what's right for me just because I've done it may not be right for you. Yep,

well said. So, you said like, you look to your dad, the getting up in the filing and then and go on again and go on again. Was that was that part of what was showing up for you? Was it like continuing to sort of push through? Like, again and again, where perhaps you should have changed direction?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. There's, there's a lot of things that I did that I look back. And I'm just just silly things like I, I found it easier to do things myself that actually somebody else has helped to do. Because I was fast, and I was efficient. And I could get things done. Yeah, cause me problems. But I was fast, and I was efficient. And then again, so what I did now is I traded now, for a future event that probably didn't exist. And that's, that's what we've really got to look at. The only thing that we know is real is right now. And the only thing we can predict is right now. And the closer things are to now, the better we can predict them. So, so when we look at time and space over things, people, people are always telling me that I can jump on the stock market. And I can do this and I'm like, well, the bets you can hedge the hedge the bets, but you cannot guarantee that it's going to work that way. There is no nothing into the future. That's guaranteed short trading. Yes, sure. You can lower your odds and make sure that you can do some of those things. But what people, there's a theory and it's called entropy. And it's so it's chaos theory. Have you heard of that? Yeah. Yeah. So chaos theory is absolutely amazing. When you start looking at every time you add a more up another option, and simply time is another option. It's not structured, it's chaos. And there is absolutely no chance that the future is going to resemble today, they're day by day, things look much the same, right? Day by day, things look very, very similar. But your life in six months will be drastically different to what it is now. And you can even look even more drastically different if you start improving one thing a day.

Yeah, so good. So Clint, you've mentioned changes and being able to make changes. So twofold question for us to come towards the end of this chat is, what are the changes that you want to see in the world? And how is the work that you're doing now with people contributing towards that?

So I feel a wealth grows great. When old men plant trees for shade they'll never sleep under. It's good. So this is a really interesting point. And it's like this. I think all of us should do good things, but not look for anyone to know about it. You should. There's a number of number of parts. I think the world grows great when good men do some bad things, and bad men do some good things. Because what this world revolves around good people standing up and fighting where it needs to be. That's what we need. And it needs some of the bad people to do a few good things amongst that as well. So so the way I see it is, there is no, there is no downside, to giving people some compassion, there is absolutely no downside to compassion, of course, you got to draw your boundaries. There is no downside to showing love. And there is no downside to being present with anyone there is. But if you can do that, and if you'll find doesn't matter who it is. And sometimes people just talk because they've got a busy mind, you know, there's there's times in their life will go somewhere and you're like, Geez, that person just unloaded. Well, sometimes it's nice just to actually just listen to that person, because that might be the fucking difference. That might be the difference in the whole world shifting for the Australian direction. Listen to me today, well, we can't pretend to know what's going on in new ELSS half the time, we don't know what's going on in our own head. So for me, what I've created is a bit of a space where I can take on some some people and mentor them in a way that's very, very in line with what they want what they need, and in line with their goals, but we map it out very clearly and strategically in a way that definitely helps. And I do that and I guarantee the results and I guarantee the results by I do not charge for it. And as we spoke about that just earlier, the before we started I'm doing this out of out of my overflow. So I'm not taking on hundreds of clients and I'm not trying to I'm not trying to get rich off other people's money and I've seen this in the personal development world and there's there's a lot of gaslighting and what I would call a pyramid scheme of, you know, I'm gonna show you how to get rich by doing what I'm doing and taking money off people that don't really have it. So there is look, there's merit, I understand that everyone does need to make money in this and there's a lot of coaches and there's a lot of people out there that are do wonderful things in the world. I do think that there needs to be an a bit of an integrity check in to make sure people can afford it. For me, the five found that people that need it most often can't afford it. So I'm helping and guaranteeing change by making sure that people honor my time by doing the things that they said they're going to do. So as I was saying to you, I've started with a lovely lady earlier, and her homework is to read a book that she must read in the next two weeks. Otherwise, she doesn't get any more of my time. Because I That's how she's going to pay me is by maintaining her agreement. I sent out some questions, and I started in this space, my wife's been very encouraging for me to get into this space, because I have a presence that a lot of people that admire and look up to in some of that. And I've sort of rebelled against it, because I don't like the idea of charging for it for something that I'd give away for free. And for something that I'm passionate about, of helping people do better in their life. I think this project in the way that we've created this, so there's, this is a three part thing, where essentially, I'm doing what I call the karmic cola. And essentially, the first part is everyone has to align with my values. If people don't align with my values, that that I can't actually help you. Because I wouldn't be able to offer real true advice. But also, if you align with my values, I kinda get paid karmically through the universe somewhere. Yeah, I love that. So that's, that's massive to me, then I've got a 20 questions that you must fill out. Now, these are very difficult questions. I've given them to some people that were paying clients, and they never got them back to me because they're hard questions. Yeah. So they're questions like, what's your purpose? What gets you up each day? What are you trying to prove and to who, so that goes really deep into your psyche. But what it also does is it saves me five hours of spending time with you're getting to know you're getting to the bottom of what you really need more. So that's a massive part, I can read through these questions and go, okay, cool. We've got this, this and this, I can see the gaps, I can see a map, I can see how to improve these things, because you've already told me and the lovely lady I worked with earlier, it was the map wasn't clear, this was a massive pop, we needed to map out and make it really, really clear. There's no There's no point having goals that are unachievable, there's no point making agreement you can't keep. So we've got to be really, really clear and go through those things. So that's, that's the first part I do. But obviously, there's things that are outside my realm of expertise. So for this is the lovely part as well, where I feel quite happy with is once say I take on a person that I feel I can help once I've got them to a space of getting ahead. And if they need mental health, I have a great team that they are they can afford to go and get help with this lady, if they need to. If they've got a problem with their health, my wife can help them with that. But they can do this from their overflow, not from how you actually need problem with your health, go on track and get the money. Yeah, we've created a space where everyone's actually already getting ahead. They've got nothing to lose. And look, I did it with the lady earlier I said I've went through we did a prosperity. Prosperity activity went through of how what the Money Story looked like and all of those sorts of things. And I actually gifted her $2,000 in cryptocurrency. And I did that so that now every time she spends that cryptocurrency, she can save her real money. That's cool. So this way, she's got real money to actually start getting ahead and doing better in her life, and actually doing better in her path. So it gives an opportunity for people to do better. And I can't do that with everyone. But sometimes you can.

Yeah, and I love that the fact that you're dedicating so much to giving back, but you're also empowering them to then continue that journey. And giving them the resources and the options as well. As they're all find their own journey. And they'll they'll find their own way, whether it's through your network or somewhere else, you've set them on a path, that from my experience, once people start on that path, they will continue to grow. And like you said that that ripples out and literally changes the world.

It unfolds in such a magical way. So and the easiest way to look at this is every single person that we know, could say $50 a week, we could do. If we sharpen our pencil and go, we can say $50 a week right? Now, this is the first part, you're not being accountable to me, you're being accountable to you. Because if you if I said to you, you're a look. How can we say $50 a week can you look, I buy a coffee each day, and I can shave that off and make my coffee at home. So that's 35 bucks. Plus, you know what I can I can put my change in a job that's 50 bucks a week. Well, that's not just you that benefits from that. That's your family that benefits from that. Now we're making some real change in the world, some small little incremental changes. That's if you're trying to not use your word you change you and your family as well. What else do you want? What else do you want?

Yeah, so good. Clean. Great, Chad, so much so much wisdom. You said before, if someone pulls one pot out of this well, like you've, you've given so many great tips and real life examples of what people can go and do. And they're also sharing the opportunity you have. So where can they will find your client if they want to reach out and find out more about what you're up to.

So there's a few places you can jump on pebble wellness, on Facebook, or on Instagram, it's rebel wellness, or my personal Facebook is Clint Gregory. So you can jump onto that, have a bit of a look. And send me a message jump on through any of that. And we can go from there. That's probably the easiest way well, my email which you also have.

Yeah, and we'll make sure in the show notes as well. Clean theme, thank you so much for sharing your story and your wisdom. I appreciate it, man.

All right, man, thank you very much for your time.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of the growth code podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know will benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief. Let's chat email yet. info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Brooklyn's coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcasting platform.