Self care, above all else, is the most important type of grooming and positive mental health exercise that we should promote above all else! However, there is such a thing as taking too much time for personal relaxation and slipping on the “slippery slope” of overindulgence. Today’s episode, however, will provide ways to reward yourself for all the hard work you do, celebrate the successes you achieved, but help to reflect and get back to action to create more reasons to celebrate!

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

105 of Speaking From the Heart.

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I'm glad that I'm back.

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I'm not partying anymore because I want

to get down to business today, especially

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with you, as we talk about the most

important subject yet that has been

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talked about in this show, and I have a

lot of experience of not doing correctly

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throughout most of my life: self care.

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That's right.

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The ability to take care of ourselves so

that we have enough energy to do the daily

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things that we need to do, both personally

and professionally; maybe even for our

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business, maybe even for our non profit,

maybe even for our kids, which, above all

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else, I know that for you, your kids are

probably the most important thing, and

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I say probably because, let's face it,

there are some people that don't value

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their kids very well, but I understand

why this is so important for many of

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you, which is why I want to spend some

time today in this episode to discuss

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the importance of not only having self

care, but having the balance between not

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partying enough, but partying too much,

and it takes me back to my college days.

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Being able to enjoy what life has to

offer, carefree, not worrying about what

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life has in store for me, but, I wasn't

one of those people that actually partied,

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unlike some people I knew, that would go

on every single party scene, whether it

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was on campus or off campus, which, you

have to keep in mind, the school that

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I went to, before it changed, used to

not allow any alcohol on campus, which,

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of course, people snuck alcohol on, but

they then became a wet campus after they

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wanted to have more events featuring

alcohol, so you can only imagine that the

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later part of my semesters at Alvernia

University were a little bit different,

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but that's all to say that Alvernia

is a wonderful school for those that

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are Franciscan Catholic, or even not,

it's a great private school to go to.

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I learned so much about it, but I digress,

because being able to take care of

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yourself means also understanding that

if you shirk your responsibilities of

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the things that you need to do, you're

not going to get the greatest results.

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Just like in college.

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If you are partying all the

time, you're not going to be able

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to get good grades in school.

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The aftereffects, whether you are

binge drinking, or you're even

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feeling a little rundown because

you stayed up way too late, might

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even have an impact on what you're

able to do to become better overall.

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I think that when we talk about the

different things that are involved with

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self care we often mix them up with what

we should be taking care of ourselves,

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the actual personal time, so that we're

able to feel a little bit better about

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our own mental health, and I can tell

you on numerous occasions where I've seen

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even some of my clients not taking care

of themselves and their ability to become

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the best versions of who they are, because

they've been, often times, trapped in a

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box, of not being able to get outside that

box, to be able to become more confident,

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become more determined, and to have better

relationships with other people, but I

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think that this subject talks a lot more

about the ability for us to have not only

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that care that we need to have, but also

that ability to know that when it's too

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much, we're not going to get things done.

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I think distractions often become the

biggest part of this conversation,

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because the distractions that we have,

whether they are things that we need

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to take care of or even the things that

we shouldn't take care of right away,

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oftentimes distract us from taking care

of the bigger picture, or the things that

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oftentimes need more time to invest in.

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In previous episodes, we've even talked

about this with the Pomodoro Technique or

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even just organizing the way in which you

have the different ideas that you need

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to do, or even the different tasks that

you need to accomplish, and putting them

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in a format that allows you to excel, but

even with all those things, self care is

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really an exercise of being able to stop,

smell the roses that are around you, and

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then know that when you got enough of

that sensation, to take that back and

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apply it to mental focus and clarity of

the things that you have to get done.

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I think we mix this up with the

ability to relax, to have a vacation

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if you will, and by all means, I am

a fan of having a vacation or two.

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I've enjoyed going to many different

places, whether they are in the United

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States or even abroad for that matter,

which I'm really looking forward to

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working on my bucket list of the various

different types of countries that I

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have yet to visit, but when we relax

way too much, we start to go on this

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slippery slope of overindulgence, which

often creates bad values, bad habits,

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bad opportunities for us to excel.

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I think that we need to reward

ourselves for all the hard work

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that we do on a daily basis,

because we do grind quite a lot.

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I know of many business owners that

grind way too much, myself included,

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but knowing that we have a vision and

a mission that we want to achieve,

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whether that is through our business

or even our own personal endeavors, we

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have to understand that the successes

that we're going to achieve oftentimes

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need to stop and be celebrated, which

my bookkeeper has to remind me about

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because she's been the biggest fan of

being able to help me with starting

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this, and I know that each and every

one of you out there have the ability to

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be succeeded by somebody that wants to

see you be successful and remind you of

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that as well, whether that is somebody

significantly close to you or somebody

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else for that matter; but when is it the

right time to throw a party, and what kind

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of people should we bring to that party

if we are going to celebrate ourselves?

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I often fascinate myself, even around

here in South Central Pennsylvania, the

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numerous amount of galas, celebrations,

award dinners, all the different types

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of celebrations in which we honor

individuals, people, even organizations

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for that matter, that do amazing work.

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You hear the same companies over and

over again, and I'm not going to mention

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them to call them out here, because it's

all about really what kind of culture

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they're creating and I think that

even when we talk about this subject,

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culture becomes a big, important topic.

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When we are creating the right culture

so that we can cultivate the ability to

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take a break or even to reflect on one

of the things that we've accomplished,

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even as a team for that matter, it can

make such a big difference in the way in

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which our morale is boosted, but with all

the companies that I keep consistently

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hearing about all the good things that

they're doing, I often have to stop and

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ask myself, "Where are the medium sized?

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Where are the small businesses?"

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Oftentimes you hear about these large

corporate entities, even law firms, maybe

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even healthcare, teachers for that matter,

which teachers in themselves are such a

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significant category that I think they

should be even honored separately, which

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they are, but when we are celebrating

way too much of the organizations or

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even the people for that matter that

come from the same places over and over

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again, does it even mean anything anymore?

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Does it give us any redeeming value?

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In other words, what did they actually

do without breaking confidentiality

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or proprietary information that

they might be sharing that makes a

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significant contribution to society?

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Now, let me caveat the last few

statements to say, I am not one of those

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people that have gotten a lot of awards

from running my business, let alone

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a coaching business for that matter.

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I know that for many of my fellow

coaches, that type of award would be

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really a great booster in terms of the

things that we're able to achieve, but

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if we're always chasing after the trophy,

instead of chasing after ourselves, where

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is that balance, then, in our lives?

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I often look at the people that

are celebrating this and thinking,

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"Do they have the balance?

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Do they have the ability to work a

little bit to be able to take care

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of their family, but also, more

importantly, take care of themselves?"

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As I record this episode, a recent

death of somebody that I knew indirectly

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through a friend happened, and I often

have found that when that death occurs,

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I see other entities, or other people,

reach out to say, "Oh, what a celebratory

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life that they had.", or, "Wow.

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What an amazing thing that they've been

able to do, and they went way too soon.",

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but yet this person was in their forties

and wasn't able to celebrate their life

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to the fullest, and it often scratches

my head and thinking for those that are

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celebrating in their thirties and forties

of the successes that they have, have

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you really achieve what you wanted to

achieve in your thirties and forties?

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Some people have.

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Some people are still working on

what they're wanting to do in their

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30s and 40s, and to them, if you're

listening to this, Hallelujah.

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I am glad that you're working alongside

that., But I think that we are

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oftentimes swayed by the people that

have achieved success so early, but

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yet our journey is only just beginning.

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The journey in which we're trying

to figure out what is our identity,

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which we've talked about on this show,

and we're even figuring out what's

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the best way to move forward despite

all the obstacles that take place.

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I think that we oftentimes throw a party

prematurely knowing that we might need

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to do a lot more work in this framework

that we need to be able to succeed in.

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In other words, that framework

that we're building ourselves

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from is only just beginning.

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The real success comes from not just

helping people, but also helping yourself.

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Now, I know that for many of you,

you might be scratching your head

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at this point and going, "Josh.

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We all know, especially with what you've

shared on this show, about the importance

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of taking care of yourself, but why, oh

why, would you want to bash other people?

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Why would you want to say that their

success should be minimized?", and I

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would argue, it's not about minimizing

anybody's contribution to society.

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I even would argue that the separate

powers that we are come to be, the

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different things that we've even talked

about on this show, are influenced by the

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fact that we want people to contribute.

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We want people to be happy.

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We want them to be successful.

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We are all in this together, but when

you overindulge and you overspray the

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different types of words, accusations,

opportunities, whatever it comes from

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that orifice in your face, you often have

to think, "Is there actually a better

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idea that is out there, or is there a

better success that we can achieve?",

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but sometimes people don't get that

chance to succeed or have opportunity,

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especially if they die of a young age.

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As a matter of fact, if you don't take

care of yourself, you're never going to

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be able to achieve any of those successes.

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Grooming yourself mentally and

physically are oftentimes separated,

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but I would argue in today's episode

that they're conjoined together.

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If you're not taking care of yourself

physically, you're not feeling good

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mentally, and if you're not talking to

someone or processing things mentally,

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whether that is in a group or even

with a best friend of yours, you're

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physically not doing well as well.

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Study after study, especially in the

past decade, has even proven this

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connection about the importance of

taking care of both sides of the

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human condition, which is why we need

to promote self care above all else.

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It doesn't mean that we compare

ourselves to somebody else.

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It doesn't mean that we

compare our businesses to

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some other person's business.

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It doesn't mean that we share or identify

what we should be doing, time and time

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again, to drag ourselves through the mud.

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No, no, no.

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It's none of those things.

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If we are ever going to be authentic

in this ever changing world, our voice,

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the literal voice that we use, means

that we have to appreciate sometimes

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taking a step back to rest that voice.

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We have to feel like we are able

to take care of ourselves, without

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any consequence or penalty, and I

know that, for many of you, you're

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thinking about that this is ridiculous.

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If I will slow down in this ever changing

world, which is only becoming more

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challenging, especially with the variety

of different factors that are happening,

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I will never be able to achieve my

dreams, but I would argue that if you do

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take a step back, you will feel better.

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You will feel that mental clarity.

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You will be able to celebrate all that

hard work that you're doing, but most

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importantly, you won't be able to be

held back anymore, because you will

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have the reasons to get back in the

action and celebrate not just what you

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are doing, not just what your business

is doing, but what other people want

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to see in you that will shine, and

they will want to be just like you.

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Often times it's not about what other

people are doing, and it's not about

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what everybody else is trying to do, or

be a copycat, or stereotype if you will.

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If you're ever going to find the success

that you really want, and it isn't just

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about rest that I talk about today,

you have to be able to take a step

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back and look at the bigger picture.

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Look at what you have achieved.

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Especially from the wide circumstances

that you ever had, and realize that

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you have the ability to be not just

successful, not just loved, but you

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will have the opportunity of a lifetime

where other people will be jealous to

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be able to take on that opportunity too.

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Of course, you won't just

have people that are jealous.

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You have people that will hate you.

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They will be frustrated by you because

they see your success, but if you're

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going to be wrapped into what other

people's businesses are, you have no

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business being on this podcast either,

because you're comparing the notes

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of even what I am doing and thinking,

wondering, if I could do the same

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thing, but yeah, it's not about what

I'm doing, your podcast host Joshua D.

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Smith, or even my business,

Your Speaking Voice.

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It's about what you are able to do.

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It's about what your inherent energy and

power has lying dormant inside of you.

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That allows you to celebrate who you

are, and be able to have a party like

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no other party, maybe even a bigger

party like the Great Gatsby had.

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If you ever read that book by F.

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Scott Fitzgerald, you're certainly enjoy

the different types of things that are

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involved with that story, and let alone

what the Great Gatsby was all about,

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which, spoiler alert, isn't really what

it seems to be, but I will say that taking

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your time to groom, to take yourself to

just appreciate what's around you, to

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be able to enjoy what life has to offer.

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Even with the people, the places,

and the things that you can explore

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in the lifetime that you have to

explore them in, take that time.

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Learn new things.

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It isn't just about what you learn

from a podcast or from reading a book.

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It's not just what you follow on social

media or sharing that inspirational

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quote of the day to your Facebook,

LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat,

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whatever social media that you decide

to use, just know that it's about all

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the hard work you do, and pausing to

reflect on what that hard work is.

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Life is too short.

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You don't want to overindulge

on even the celebrations that

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you have, so be in moderation

with all the things that you do.

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Don't sell yourself short of the

opportunities that you have because

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confidence comes from the ability to

not only overcome what's in store, but

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to also learn from others, to be able

to understand that even when you throw

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that party, that party was meant not

just for you, but for everyone else that

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will be able to see what you're truly

becoming, and no, you don't have to be

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like the big major Fortune 500 companies,

or even 100 companies for that matter.

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You don't have to be like the

biggest regional employer.

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You don't have to be like

the other Joe or Jane Schmoe.

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All you need to do is be your authentic

self, because everything else will

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come its way, because when you have the

audacity to achieve what goals you have

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and stop slipping on that slippery slope

of overindulgence, trust me on this.

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You are already a success, not just for

everybody else, but in my eyes as well.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 105 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.