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January 2022 Horoscopes: A Slow Start to an Exciting Year
Episode 1710th January 2022 • Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast • Laura von Holt, Alex Gershuny
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAPRICORN! 

And Happy New Year to all!!! It’s 2022 and Laura and Alex are not only celebrating a year since they followed Susan Miller’s advice to create a podcast, but also a wonderful outlook for the year ahead by the woman herself. Susan assures the gals that this year will not resemble 2020 and its twin 2021, and that all the signs have exciting things coming their way, even with both Mercury and Venus in retrograde in January. Needless to say, Laura and Alex are relieved to read and deliver such great news. 


The gals start the episode by recapping Susan’s Note to her readers. As expected, the businesswoman has a few updates, but we also get some great personal details when Susan tells us about spending Christmas with her family. Laura and Alex then tell Capricorn Susan’s prediction for a great year ahead, which includes money, career opportunities (listen up, Capricorn actors), and the coveted Cupid fleets. Next, Laura encourages her fellow Tauruses to relax and ease slowly into the new year, and she delivers a cautionary tale (from her personal experience!) about the dangers of Venus in retrograde. Finally Alex relays Susan’s predictions for love in 2022 to Scorpio and lets them know when they can expect Venus and Cupid to make things happen. 


Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 


Note from Susan Miller: 03:36

Capricorn: 11:20

Taurus: 19:24

Scorpio: 33:14


Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing astrologyzoned@gmail.com.


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Transcripts

Laura: Hi Alex!

Alex: Hi Laura! Happy New Year!

Laura: Happy New Year! I’ll just say it with you.

Alex: We’re on the same page. We’re both very excited for a new year.

Laura: Yeah, totally. Definitely. Don't know why but we are.

Alex: I know

Laura: Yeah. And this is another fun one because I am currently in the state of Hawaii and you're in New York, so we're in different time zones, but on the same page.

Alex: Exactly, yes. This is very fun seeing you with your different background and your warm weather outfit.

hank you. Thank you. So, it's:

Alex: I mean that's what things say so I’m going to choose to believe it, I guess.

year that her horoscopes for:

Alex: And here we are a year later.

Laura: Here we are. Who knew? We had no idea.

Alex: No. Thank you, Susan, for the great suggestion.

Laura: Thank you, Susan. Thank you to our listeners. Happy New Year to our listeners for sure.

Alex: Absolutely.

Laura: I really did appreciate it I got a few DMs that were like, are you waiting for her horoscopes? Are you checking? And I was like, absolutely I am checking, refreshing constantly.

Alex: Yeah, I was surprised she didn't post until the fourth? Is that right?

Laura: Yes, Yeah, which, I mean we always appreciate a late start, but she had really been like, kind of, you know, being like I'm coming, it's coming, it's coming, and then it was just late.

Alex: I know.

Laura: I also feel like the anxiety around, like, Omicron, and stuff made people be like, literally, we need to know right now, Susan.

Alex: Yeah. and Susan has good things to say, which is very important. Even if they're not true, I felt good reading them.

Laura: 100 percent. I think the main thing I noticed reading the horoscopes this time is that I was like, this is so soothing and so comforting that I, like, even though if I forget half of it and don't remember anything, I just feel relieved to have like her weigh in. Like, I was thinking, you know, different people celebrate different new years. And I was like, I don't think it's the new year until Susan publishes her January horoscope. You know, like, so maybe I'll go by the Gregorian calendar, the lunar calendar, and I'm like, no, it's January 4 is the first day of the new year then. Great.

Alex: That's your year.

Laura: Yeah, so happy Susan Miller New Year.

Alex: Yeah, absolutely. And we, this is what we, I think, talked about in the first episode we did a year ago, like, the comfort that Susan brought us during those first few months of the pandemic.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. So, she does, just to let everybody know, have some nice things to say. This is not one of those panic months where she works us up into a tizzy over what the planets are doing. And, you know, the planets do things every month, as we know, and the moons do things every month.

Alex: So many things.

Laura: It seems like the odds are in our favor. So should we get into the Note from Susan Miller?

's get into the Note. January:

Laura: Yes, I really appreciate that. She was like, it's kind of like one long bad twin year.

Alex: Yeah. So, she talks a little bit about what the planets are doing, and I think I'll just say that planets are doing something.

Laura: Yeah, but Jupiter’s doing something good, though.

Alex: Jupiter is doing something good. She says: everyone has reason to be excited about the new year, everyone will be receiving chocolates from Jupiter.

Laura: Chocolates from Jupiter.

Alex: Yeah, I don't quite know what that means but it can be bad, right?

Laura: It sounds like gift giving. Like a housewarming gift maybe for the new year. Lovely.

she says when she was writing:

Laura: Yes, we remember.

she said that she feels like:

Laura: Okay, wonderful, Wonderful. Thank you. Okay.

Alex: You know, Susan, she really wants to tell us when Mercury is going to retrograde.

Laura: Yeah, she loves to tell us. And it’s gonna happen. It's gonna happen again.

,:

Laura: Yeah, I noticed the horoscopes were all like, it’s a slow start, sleepy like, take your time, and then like, rush now, because, February, March, woo hoo!

Alex: yeah, party time.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, party time. Gearing up.

Alex: So, I do like when she does this little, like, recap, or preview for the signs in the Note because she doesn't always. Sometimes she launches right into business.

Laura: Yeah, and she had more business to talk.

Alex: She had more business. So, after she finishes this little recap. She says that she's sorry that she's late, and then says, but you can always get my app!

Laura: Yes, which, thank you, Susan. Right, right. Yes, thank you. There’s something like a redesign, something like she's hinted at things coming for, like, the app, so I feel like we should keep an eye on that.

Alex: That's true.

Laura: I mean, you and I have secret knowledge of other things coming down the line from the time that we met her if you guys want to listen to that episode. Great episode.

Alex: Also known as the greatest day of our lives.

Laura: The greatest day of our lives. It comes up all the time on my iPhone memories, it that comes up all the time that we met Susan Miller, and I’m like, does my phone know Susan Miller as a person or did I name the album that? I don’t remember.

Alex: I didn't. How does my phone know?

Laura: I don't know, but it keeps being like, Susan Miller, and I'm like, is she just so famous for the iPhone recognizes her because, like, it's big brother?

Alex: Maybe or maybe it's somehow linked with like the 15 million text messages I sent that day telling people I met her.

Laura: Yeah, or like the Astrology Zone app. But, like, my phone recognizes Susan Miller and will show me a movie of like the day you met Susan Miller.

Alex: Wow your phone is really trying to keep morale up.

Laura: Yeah, it really is so I really appreciate it. But, yeah, so Susan Miller businesswoman, she was talking about the app, about how you can still get those InStyle beauty boxes.

Alex: Yes.

Laura: The calendar seems almost done, right?

Alex: She said, as of the time this was published, she said there were 200 left.

Laura: Ok.

Alex: So, if you want one of them get online and order it and the fulfillment house will make it appear at your house. She also talks about the beauty box, and she explains a little about the beauty box, then she tells us that she's doing a talk in January on Zoom. And that is for an organization that is somehow related to astrology, and in fact she said that some of the proceeds from the talk are going to be donated to a fund for astrologers who experience difficulty paying medical bills.

Laura: Oh, that's very nice.

Alex: Yeah, so that's very nice. But I thought the kind of best part of this note was when she talked to us about why the forecast was late, and she told us all about her Christmas plans.

Laura: Yes, should I did enjoy the family recap. Please Alex. Tell us more.

Alex: Well, you know, she said last year the family couldn't be together, but everyone was feeling good this year with the three shots. She has a daughter, it seems like, who, Diana, she lives in Los Angeles, she's not local, so she was able to come, and her other daughter, Chrissy, who has a child came, and Susan was like, I just wanted to make it really special, so I put up a tree, I wrapped all the presents, I polished the silver. Like, all these good Susan details.

Laura: She loves flatware and china.

Alex: Loves it. She said: I made sure the china and crystal were in perfect order.

Laura: Yes, gorgeous.

Alex: And so she's like, maybe you were doing the students too because you could actually maybe celebrate this year with your family. And she says: I'm sorry that I was late, and also I wanted to give the forecasts enough attention. I didn't want to rush it.

Laura: Thank you Susan, thank you for putting your all. What I enjoyed was she was talking about the upcoming event and gave a little preview of Zoom and how it works and how you can raise your hand.

Alex: I love that.

Laura: I always enjoy her technological tips.

Alex: I really do, too. Yeah, yeah, she doesn't want anyone to miss out.

Laura: No, and she was like, and I also feel like it's a judgment free zone if you're not familiar with each of the new technologies that she is going to introduce, especially during the shadow of Merc retro, she's gonna let you know how to work it. I also enjoy Susan Miller has been hardcore businesswoman at the end of Q4 and also the start of Q1 because I imagine, just like the fitness industry and the diet industry and any other sort of like new start-related industry, that end of Q4 and start of Q1 are big, big business quarters for Susan Miller.

Alex: Absolutely, I could totally see that, you know, paying extra attention to what’s coming in the year ahead.

e want to know the year ahead:

Alex: Yeah, and she was pushing that InStyle box again. She was like: I've picked out products for you that you'll love, and men will love it too She threw that in again.

Laura: Oh great, I'm so glad that men will love it too.

Alex: Yeah, yeah. So, the note, the note was good. It was, it was pretty typical.

Laura: Yeah, we did get a nice little forecast preview and you know the business, the business reminders. So, I feel good. It gave me confidence to proceed. So, I think we should proceed. And what we need to do is say, happy birthday, Capricorn!

Alex: Happy birthday!

Laura: Awww.

Alex: Now I am a Capricorn rising.

Laura: Oh my gosh, happy Capricorn rising.

Alex: Thank you. And you know, I only point that out because Susan always says, read both. They work together and you need to know about your rising sign as well.

Laura: Okay, well Alex, this is a great month for both of your rising and your sun sign.

Alex: It kind of is.

Laura: And I think, Capricorn, everybody should know that she starts off saying says you have lots of good things look forward in the new year. So relief already. Happy birthday.

Alex: Absolutely. And, you know, we're going to when we go through all of the signs that we’ll do, Merc retro always comes up, of course, but she doesn't seem too dismayed by it. She just wants you to know.

Laura: Just a warning like, remember contracts, don't buy technology, etc, etc. I'll just say, in all of the forecasts that I read, Susan Miller is starting off in a year with some lyrical writing, and there I highlighted so many things because she was just like, filling the new year forecast with the most golden gems she had to express herself and, it’s very satisfying

Alex: Very satisfying. She did not hold back. This is why I read Susan Miller.

Laura: Exactly. I was like, ugh god, the prose is beautiful.

Alex: Beautiful prose. Beautiful, Susan. Thank you.

Laura: In fact, the thing that she started off strong with is that Jupiter for Capricorn is in your communication sector and she said so that's where the golden nuggets lie for you. And I was like, oh, we're starting off with some golden nuggets already.

Alex: And it could be in the form of a podcast series.

Laura: Which Alex and I take that seriously and we want Capricorn to take that seriously because Susan Miller told us to make this podcast. I mean, she didn't know we were making one about her but she told us in our horoscopes last year, January, to make a podcast so we just want you to consider that seriously. But she also had the, you know, again, a classic Susan Miller list of all the possibilities that your communication sector could be booming: a podcast series, a new app, a digital game, or writing new software, creating your new website, or maybe investigating a social media platform that you’ve not visited before. There are other possibilities. That was my pharmaceutical warning voice for you guys. Alex: That was really good. Or like, I probably said this before, but like Micro Machines or whatever those little cars are.

Laura: Yeah, yeah, there's more though. There's more opportunities: You may be writing a novel, working on a documentary, hosting your own radio or TV show, writing an important news story, or working on a screenplay. If you are a scientist, you may be writing a white paper about a breakthrough you’ve had and sending it in to be published by a respected journal. Regardless of what you are working on, you will learn from being involved and become more sophisticated in your craft. It appears you will make abundant money from this venture, too. Wow, Susan.

Alex: So, Capricorn, there are a lot of options for you in terms of exploring what you’re good at. And you’re going to make money.

Laura: And you’re going to make money. So, I thought that was good. My other favorite thing that she said about the communication sector, I did not realize this would fall under it, but she said if you are an actor, you may be chosen for a lead in a major motion picture or theatrical performance, and it is possible that your ability to speak with an accent or in another language may help you get the role. And I was like, wow Capricorn actors, you need to get your dialect coach on speed dial.

Alex: Yeah.

Laura: And then this made me think, you know, I've been following on Broadway how they've had to have so many understudies and swings filling because Covid’s just running through all the cast, and they have people that have come on and like one woman is doing a role on Wicked she hasn't done in seven years. She even quit performing, she's a software engineer now, but she came back to do the role in Wicked, and I was like, wow what Capricorns have, like, quit acting but are going to get the call?

Alex: Yeah, because apparently, I can speak with an accent exactly or in a different dialect.

Laura: I hope everyone has been doing their warmups.

Alex: Susan told you to. No excuses.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. And she says that this is no ordinary influence. Jupiter takes 12 years to revolve around the sun to visit this area of your chart again. If you have an idea for a product within the area of communication, act on it next month. After Merc retro, I think.

Alex: Yeah, after Merc retro. Absolutely.

Laura: That was implied. That was implied.

Alex: Yes. And now of course we are recording this after the new moon. Yeah, which this month was January 2, but you know she always says if it's in your sign, this is like your gift certificate. You can do with it what you want, you can use it in the way that you want, the planets will work with you to make this happen. And so she encourages Capricorn to just go for it. It's a special new moon, direct that energy where you want it. The universe is going to help you.

Laura: Wow, so good.

Alex: Yeah, and then she actually is very complimentary of Uranus, which we know is not always the case. She often is blaming him for the horrors of the world.

Laura: I know. I noticed, though, that he was getting her favor, this time.

Alex: Yeah, so she says that the surprises he brings as the planet of surprise are things that you'll be excited about. You don't know what to expect but it's going to be good, especially perhaps in the love arena, where she says: Uranus cooking up with Cupid and his little fleet of angels just for you.

Laura: Ugh we love a fleet of Cupid reference. So good. I like she also said that Uranus rules your solar second house of earned income, so if you've been looking for work or a better paying job or something, you'll have a better chance of finding that dream job, but she said you have to wait until February to find out why, and I was like why, and then I read—spoiler alert, everybody—it’s because Venus is in retrograde, so it's not going to happen this month. It will happen next month.

Alex: Yeah, right. Okay, that's fair.

Laura: But she really had a lead up and I was like, why, Susan, why? Venus retrograde. Also, Venus retrograde and Mercury retrograde, she said don’t make big decisions right now. So, again, slow starts the new year but February, March, picking it up. And then back to the fleet of Cupids, the full moon on January 17 would put the focus on your partner. So you might make a decision to get engaged, but she said wait until Valentine's Day to actually get engaged.

Alex: Yeah. And she said it's gonna be good, Valentine's Day.

Laura: Yeah. And she said Mars is currently in Sagittarius, a hidden, private part of your chart, which I just kind of like, that there's, like, a secret like backdoor. You know, a wardrobe with a hidden entrance of your chart. But you seem to be in planning mode, tweaking projects that will be coming up to show others that are not quite ready yet. That will change once Mars moves into Capricorn on January 24 to stay until March 6. Once that happens—again, beautiful Susan Miller language—you will be the leader of the parade, and in the driver's seat. So, you’re in the parade, but also I think you're driving the float.

Alex: Oh, I like that you made that work.

Laura: Yeah, I made that work for her. You're welcome, Susan, because, you know, communication’s happening right now. So, I was like, wow, great. Ok, it will be a glorious time. You will have your turn at the podium and get the microphone. The universe will be listening, dear Capricorn.

Alex: I also thought that was great. I mean, Capricorn, this is the time.

Laura: This is the time, Capricorn. Happy Birthday.

Alex: Happy birthday. Use that new moon, do what you want, don't let Merco retro stop you. Happy birthday

Laura: Happy birthday. Fantastic. So, should I get into Taurus?

Alex: Let's do Taurus. Please tell us all about it.

is your horoscope for January:

Alex: Yeah, don’t overextend yourself, Taurus.

Laura: And don't worry, Alex, I'm not. Susan Miller says: you can be productive this month as long as you realize your new year will have a gentle, quiet start. To intuitively sense what I am seeing, no matter if you live in a cold or hot climate, for a moment, imagine this scene—again, you guys, the language in January—imagine this scene, thick, lacy snow falling in a flurry on a pure white landscape. The stillness and peacefulness of that setting might be a welcome change from December, and that’s why I feel you will like January. And I was like, wow.

Alex: That was so poetic and beautiful.

Laura: Everybody just hunker down and relax your thick, lacy, snow-white landscape and just wait for Venus retrograde to pass, wait for Merc retro to pass, just like enjoy a quieter time. So, she wanted to remind Tauruses that Venus is your ruler and Venus is not retrograde very often, so you probably take her powerful help for granted simply because she's not a loud planet but rather exerts a soft and refined influence. Ok, and then she said, again, what do they call it? A bon mot?

Alex: Such a bon mot.

Laura: She said: Venus moves gracefully like a ballerina. I mean, wow. Ok, so when your ruler is out of phase, making progress takes time and patience. As a Taurus you are known to have an abundance of patients, so that quality will keep you in good shape in January. So, everybody, feel good about just not really doing much right now.

Alex: Susan just gave you permission to, like, sit back and watch TV and take a nap.

Laura: Feels great. She said: Mercury will be retrograde January 14, and with all the strenuous activity that you had in December, this might be good news. We're all in the same boat so no one, including your competition will be able to get the upper hand in your business dealings so don't worry about that. I was like, thank you for telling me like a bull that like I don't have to worry about that competition because they can't do anything either so we can all just chillax.

Alex: Yeah, she really doesn't want you to go overboard in anything this month.

enter the two best months of:

Alex: She’s full of suggestions.

Laura: Yeah. Yeah. But she also said you might, if you work in media, you might get a superb opportunity to work on a story for print or broadcasting. So I just want to let all my Tauruses know that's what the options are like right now. Then I did appreciate there was a return to Susan Miller epidemiologist.

Alex: Thank goodness.

Laura: Yeah, because I was like, I do miss Susan Miller epidemiologist. So, Susan Miller wanted to let us know that the full moon of January 17 will fall in Cancer, and again travel is a possibility but with the pandemic, you have to be careful about who you see and where you go, so check your trusted news sources before heading out, and if the area you were hoping to visit is experiencing an outbreak, you may want to change your plans. With Mercury retrograde we all have to stay flexible.

Alex: Great level-headed advice from Susan Miller epidemiologist.

Laura: But then Susan Miller businesswoman slips in, and she says: it looks like a contract will be presented to you whether within five days of the full moon on January 17. So if so you should have a lawyer look at it because Mercury is gonna be in retrograde until February 3, so get things clarified and don't sign until Mercury goes direct. So, speaking of things going direct, she says one bright spot this month will be the turn of Uranus going direct, and this is good news for your career because Uranus rules your 10th House of honors, awards, and achievement. So, if your career stagnated, then this direct orbit will be a breath of fresh air, and you will see your professional life pick up speed almost immediately. And I pay attention to this because she said those who are born on May 1 will get a double dip of luck on or around January 18 and that's my birthday. So, I was like, ok, I will pay attention.

Alex: Ok January 18, pay attention and report back.

Laura: Alex, don't you worry, I will. She said: you may have a challenge with that new moon in Aquarius, but you'll be on you’re A-game, and you will show strong concentrations. Oh, because I think she’s talking about the new moon that's going to be next month in February. Anyway, she was like, don’t worry, it’s going to be fine. I don't even know why I brought it up. Nobody has to worry about anything. She wanted to let us know at the end of January Mars will have moved out of your financial house into your intellectual ninth house so foreign people and your ability to work across nation's borders will be intriguing and a strong influence. And this is where I got excited: you might be involved with the import-export of ideas. And I was like, how do you import-export ideas?

Alex: I was just gonna say! I can't understand this concept.

Laura: Email?

Alex: Telepathy?

Laura: I don’t know.

Alex: Wow. I have questions for Susan that will never get answered.

Laura: She also mentioned goods or services. But I just was like, what are the import-export of ideas? Like the UN?

Alex: Maybe.

Laura: I don’t know. Okay, so now we’re getting to my favorite part, which I'm gonna have to digress and tell a story after I give this horoscope. Tt'll be a brief but funny story. So she says if you are single, this is not the month to find a new romantic partner. Venus in retrograde, our ruler, is in retrograde until January 29, and in retrograde, Venus’s powers of affection are limited. It would be best would be best of a first introduction in February, when Venus will be moving along and an improved speed. Venus retrograde will not affect attached couples because they met some time ago well before Venus went into retrograde. But she said you have spectacular love and career aspects next month so get yourself ready. So, before we started recording, I was telling Alex about my big Venus retrograde moment that I was like so grateful I had read my horoscope and was prepared for. But just to let everybody know, so I’m in Hawaii with my family and my sister has lent me her truck to drive while I'm here and my sister's a cowgirl so it is like a big serious truck, and I can like drive it but barely park it. So I was at the post office in my small hometown—

Alex: where Susan has said, has suggested, could be the meeting place for a love match.

Laura: Yes. Oh, so and so the funny part to me is that my sister’s truck is like kind of recognizable and people wave to me all the time as I drive by and I several times have had people, if they see me in her truck start talking to me and thinking I'm her and I have to keep being like, I'm so sorry, I'm not my sister. And so I was in the parking lot of the post office and this gentleman in another big truck pulled up next to me and kind of waved and smiled, and I like waved and smiled because I'm like, I don't want people to think my sister is, you know, not returning the greeting. And so then he started saying something and I was very confused and I just rolled down my window and yelled: I'm not my sister!

Alex: I mean, you were just trying to be honest from the get-go.

Laura: He was he was saying something, and I thought he was trying to talk to me like I should know who he was or what he was saying. And it turns out he was not think thinking I was my sister. He was hitting on me because I am a pretty lady driving a big truck and that is rare in this town and he immediately asked if I was single, and I was like very shocked and gobsmacked because I was not prepared to be in like a hallmark hometown, small town, meet-cute. And it was like, oh my god, very alarming. So anyway, I did have a lovely exchange with him, and we established that I am not my sister. He doesn't care because he doesn't know who my sister is. He has a horse and a dog and he wanted to tell me about his truck, and I was like, I felt like this false advertising because although I'm driving my sister's truck, I don't have the lifestyle of the truck, but regardless it was lovely flirtation. Very nice. I was thrilled to be hit on. I haven't been hit on in my hometown since high school. And, but then I had to kind of ask him his name, and he was kinda like, why? And I was like, oh, our families might know each other because it's a small town. And I, you know, and I was just like, oh our families like know each other, but really I was like, I'm going to Google you because I’m going to Google anybody that like hits on me if I can. And so then that night I came home, told my dad and my sister the story. Everyone thought it was hilarious and amazing that I got hit on in this truck when like I don't normally drive a truck. And then I was like well I'm gonna—I'm sorry, that's me being a stalker—but I was like, I'm going to type his name into the like local court system just to see, you know, just to see.

Alex: Smart.

Laura: Smart. Because like, you know, I don't know him. And he didn't know my family, he said. And I was kinda like. who doesn't know my family? We have big trucks! Hello!

Alex: Exactly.

Laura: Yeah. Anyway, so I typed his name in, and I don't know if it's him but someone with his name had some prior records in the local court system for domestic disputes or violence, and I was like, yeah that was a Venus in retrograde moment. I was like, good thing. Susan Miller told me to like Watch out for introductions this month and so I was like, yes, I will not be carrying on the interaction further.

Alex: Yes. Yeah, that sounds like classic Venus in retrograde.

Laura: Classic.

Alex: I feel like had Venus not been napping, as Susan likes to describe it, that might have gone a little differently.

Laura: Totally, yeah.

Alex: But this is like very classic. On the other hand, you know you were saying you were driving and didn't want to seem like an imposter. This guy obviously thought you're driving of a truck was great.

Laura: Well, I mean, I was parked at the moment, but then, like I told you, after we had our interaction and I pulled out, I was like, Laura, you have to act like you know how to drive this truck and you are not at all intimidated by the fact that it is a lifted F-150 with a double cab which, if you guys know what those words means, it means this truck is long and tall. And my favorite part is every time I've been going to the beach or the like grocery store, I will jump out of the truck and a man will notice and kind of start laughing because the truck is like three feet taller than I am. So when I jump out of the truck it's like, who is this five-foot woman driving this, like, twenty foot rig?

Alex: Potentially, also, knowing Laura, wearing, like, a pink outfit.

Laura: Yes, wearing a pink outfit. So, if it were a rom com, it would be a beautiful, hilarious meet-cute.

Alex: Oh, it would be so good.

Laura: And so my sisters were like, I'm so mad, I wanted him to work out so that we can introduce ourselves and say that we weren't our other sister.

Alex: It would have been so good. I mean, this rom com writes itself.

Laura: Yeah, so I mean if nothing else, I got a great idea for a rom com meet-cute, you know, which happens to us all the time with Susan Miller. When we had to watch that movie.

Alex: That’s right.

Laura: For like TCM and I got all these ideas for “heart paprika.”

Alex: Heart paprika. God, Susan, yeah that’s true. She has led us to say many ideas. But it’s funny because it is like kind of like, such a Hallmark movie setup, and you know when you watch a Hallmark movie, and then you have the moment where you think, what if I packed up and moved to a small town? What would happen? This would happen.

Laura: This is what happened. Exactly. And I was like, yes, no, in a movie this would be the moment because he was like, well, you're a writer, you could live anywhere. And I was like, oh my god is he gonna teach me the true meaning of Christmas? And then I'm going to want to move home and drive a truck?

Alex: Right and probably have to, like, save the family business at some point.

Laura: 100 percent. And he would, like, teach me how to park it and that would be how we ended up like kissing in the snow but there's no snow.

Alex: Wow. That's hilarious. I am glad that you had read your forecast before so you could kind of like be like, okay maybe this isn't going to work out. Susan literally told me this is not the time to meet someone.

Laura: Exactly. So yeah, I felt good that it was Venus in retrograde. It’s pre-Merc retro but I was able to still use the internet to make this assumption. And also, I you know I can ask around just see if this guy really is the guy that has a record, you know. And if it were, like, just traffic violations, I'd be like, yeah, whatever, but it was, it was some misdemeanors.

Alex: Right. Well, you know how hard it is to drive a truck, so you forgive that.

Laura: I do. I would forgive any traffic infraction because, yeah, parking is hard, especially when your cars three times as long as you are.

Alex: Yeah. Wow.

Laura: Ok, sorry, that was a really long Taurus.

Alex: No, that was great. We needed to hear that. We want to hear the real applications in real life of Susan's predictions, and this was perfect.

Laura: So, Alex, tell us about Scorpio.

Scorpio, this is your January:

Laura: Ok. And I think everyone has gotten that message, but I'm glad that we keep confirming.

Alex: And just if you want the dates, Venus went into retrograde or whatever you say on December 19 and she will turn direct on January 29. Then she says something interesting related to Venus and businesswoman, which is: Venus is linked to profits, too, especially regarding products marketed to women.

Laura: Oh, wait I remember this from one other time before. Yes. Please continue.

Alex: I was like, wow, this is very interesting. So she said, if you're planning to launch a new product or service that's geared towards women, don't do it. Wait until February.

Laura: No, I remember this came up with the last Venus in retrograde because it was also, like, don't get Botox, that kind of thing, and I remember something like, products for women, do not be launched now. Which makes me so glad that she launched her InStyle box before.

Alex: You know what? I bet Susan businesswoman told them. We can't mess around with this

Laura: We cannot mess around with this. And this is like the feel good that I, like, am not getting any beauty treatments until after Venus and Mercury go out of retro.

Alex: Well, that's the next section, which she says, don't make any dramatic changes to your appearance. Like, you can get a trim or some kind of touch up or something, but, like, don’t do anything dramatic. Like, this is not a time to get Botox. Like, don’t buy any products, like beauty products, that you're not familiar. You know, you're in Sephora browsing and you’re like, this looks great. Don’t take a chance on it. Take a chance on it in February.

Laura: This reminds me that an influencer I follow I had been, like, putting on her face cream, like, kind of in the dark whatever wasn't paying attention, and thought she put on her hyaluronic acid and put on, like, tanning all over her face and the resulting pictures were very entertaining.

Alex: She did this recently?

Laura: This week, and I was, like, yeah, that's it that's what happens during Venus retro. You mistake your tanning thing for your hyaluronic acid. Just imagine the way you apply face cream you're not paying attention that's how her tan looked. This is serious.

Alex: Ok people, these things are real.

Laura: These things are real. Venus in retrograde. And you might get hit on by an unsavory character. And be careful with your beauty products.

ls January the black sheep of:

Laura: Ok, so January is an outlier.

Alex: Yes, perfect. And, in fact, she says that the luckiest day of the year is March 5. Put that in your calendars, people.

Laura: March 5. Ok.

Alex: She's excited. It's a heavenly, rare, supportive, and harmonious aspect for you. So get excited. Um, so she says if you're meeting someone, again, she goes back to love, and she says, a first meeting could be great. Potential for maybe a baby if you're at that stage in your life. These things will kind of come together. If you already have children, she says, like, something great is going to happen to one of your children. So get excited for that. And then, of course, again, we're talking about this later, but she said something we love: the new moon, January 2, is a gorgeous peach of a new moon.

Laura: We love a peach of a new moon or a full moon. Or anytime it’s a peach.

Alex: Yeah, anytime it’s a peach. And she does mention podcasts in this one for me.

Laura: For Scorpio. Ok, what does she say, Alex?

Alex: She just says, you know, she gives a long list quite similar to yours and it has to do with communications, so she says it's a communications project and one of those things can be a podcast series. And she says the same thing about actors. You might get a role because of an accent or another language.

Laura: Wow, so Capricorn actors and Scorpio actors really need to brush up on their languages on their dialects.

Alex: Yeah. And she says, this January 2 new moon is quite a peach and will help you in the weeks and months to come.

Laura: Oh, lovely!

Alex: So that’s very good. And she says specifically, kind of like she did for you with your May 1, she says, if your birthday is on November 4, you're really going to get good things from this new moon.

Laura: Ok that’s wild because my brother's a Scorpio and his birthday is November 4.

Alex: Well, tell him this!

Laura: He’s the last person to take astrology advice from me, in particular, but I will tell him.

Alex: Ok but if you tell him that he is potentially going to quote get a double dip of pleasure, he might change his tune.

Laura: He might change his mind. I’ll tell him, yeah.

Alex: For work, she says things are going to go well. You know Susan often talks about, like, getting praise from VIPs, and she says that's a possibility for Scorpio this year. This I thought was kind of odd: she says, a foreign person or place will possibly benefit you. You will see what I mean at the full moon in Cancer on January 17. Something is culminating regarding that person at that time. It appears you will hear news from a foreign authority figure. This person is a very powerful figure. At first you might not know how to respond because you're not sure if this news will affect you positively or negatively. However, in a few days you will realize this news works in your favor. Now, I do work for an organization that has an international component, and I'm like, am I going to have an issue with like a high-up person at one of the offices that is outside New York? But I'm going to be ready for it because I'm going to know plus or minus five days.

Laura: This makes me think again about how Taurus says something about the import-export of ideas, and I was like, what's happening here?

Alex: I want to know what she was thinking when she said that.

Laura: Me too. And we'll never know but we might find out from our life experience.

Alex: I hope when we reconvene for the February podcast, we understand what the import-export of ideas means.

Laura: Ok, the only thing that I can think of that would apply for me would be publishing with like foreign rights. That could be like translations could be import-export of ideas. Like intellectual property. Alex: Oh yeah, maybe. Keep it in mind. She says, also in the full moon you will likely get unexpected help from a middleman: an agent, publicist, job broker, business partner, accountant, lawyer, or even your spouse. And then she says also on this January 17 full moon, Neptune will send a beautiful beam to that full moon. So if you work, get ready for a list, in the arts as a music composer, artist, poet, fashion designer, actor, dancer, makeup artist, producer, etc., Neptune will make sure your work as well received.

Laura: Oh, that's great. You know, the arts can use a bump, so great, job, artists.

Alex: Exactly. So that's going to be good. Before she wraps up, she wants to talk a bit about Mars because she says Mars is your secondary ruler, along with your primary ruler, Pluto, so we must see what Mars is doing this month, and this relates to money. And you know she told us last month that we were spending a lot, which was kind of, like, a layup because yeah everyone is spending money around Christmas. But she says your expenses are going to drop on January 24. And she said, Mars, then, is somehow doing something with Capricorn. And a project you're working on is going to go well and you have the planets on your side, kind of like end of January to beginning of March. And then she says also your third house rules your sister or your brother, so you may be seeing your sibling more often are working together on something special. The last thing she says is something that I feel like that comes up a lot for Scorpio, which is about real estate and homes.

Laura: You’re right. This has been cropping up several times over the past 12 months. Ok, what’s going on?

Alex: Well, it has to do with Uranus, the planet of surprise. He is turning direct on January 18, and if you've had plans for your home or vacation house or need to do some kind of renovations or redesign and things have not been going your way, that should change, and maybe now is a good time to do that kind of stuff.

Laura: Wow, ok.

that. She ends by saying that:

Laura: Oh, oh, finally! Great! Wonderful.

Alex: Finally! So apparently, I haven't been able to do that for my whole life but now I’m gonna have this cosmic help, as she says.

Laura: From Mars.

Alex: And that’s gonna lead to lots of happiness. I will just point out one thing she says from the summary, which she didn't mention in the forecast, which is, I have some issues with, but it was what you talked about: Susan Miller epidemiologist came back into the fold.

Laura: What did she say?

Alex: She mentions Omicron by name.

Laura: Ooh, bold move.

Alex: Yeah. Well, she says, you're going to start out this month with your mind hungry for stimulation and she says, a very common way for that to be solved is to travel and you're going to want to travel, but maybe don't travel and stay home because, one, you might not want to spend the money, but two, Omicron is out there, and it's probably not safe to do this.

Laura: Wow. Ok, so thank you, Susan Miller epidemiologists.

Alex: It’s like a different kind of advice now. Like remember way back in the day when she was like wear a mask don't go to super spreader events.

he started off by saying that:

Alex: No, that's true. Right.

Laura: But I do feel comforted that she at least, like, wants to still do her civic duty and use her influence to keep people safe and all to the best of her ability.

Alex: Same. And I think it’s, you know, just going back to the Note for a second, and she's done this before, clearly stating that she's been vaccinated. And we have to assume that many of her millions of readers are not.

Laura: I guess, statistically, and I don't know where they are because I mean the thing is in the US, we have such great access to vaccines but not everywhere in the world does.

Alex: No. You know, she's clearly not concerned with alienating the people who are not getting vaccinated.

Laura: Right. I think she’s doing one of my favorite kind of leaderships, which is lead by example, where you just like set the tone and are like, I'm vaccinated and be careful.

Alex: Right.

Laura: And she expects you to follow. That if you follow her, you can also follow this advice.

Alex: Yes, that's true.

Laura: Yeah, be a leader in your community.

Alex: Right.

feel good about this January:

Alex: I really like that, too. That's very civilized.

. Especially after coming out:

Alex: No, oh my gosh, no. Zero. No way. We’re just trying to keep it together

Laura: Yeah, exactly. Let's just get through January Merc retro and then we can decide how to lead our lives in February.

s that the planets are making:

Laura: No, I think we would have been like we're deleting this month and just not acknowledging it.

Alex: Yeah, sorry. Yeah.

Laura: So, all right well. Wonderful. Well, I think I just want to say that we're thinking of everybody. We know, like, times are weird, and we’re thinking of everybody and hoping they are, as well as they can be. And that we are very grateful to be doing another podcast for however long we want to. But if you guys have advice or feedback or requests—I love a special request—you can always email us at astrologyzoned@gmail.com. We would love to hear it. And tell a friend. Right?

Alex: Of course. Susan's own advice.

Laura: Tell a friend. So, I guess we’ll see you next month in February. We will not be recording until Mercury goes direct. Trust. Trust.

Alex: Yeah. We listen to Susan.

Laura: We listen. So, whenever she publishes the forecast for February, we will be recording after Mercury goes direct.

Alex: Of course. But thank you so much for listening.

Laura: Happy New Year, everybody.

Alex: Bye!

Laura: Bye!

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