When you've been raised by a narcissist or have been in a long-term relationship with one, odds are you have conditioned yourself to survive the abuse. This is what today’s guest, Laura Bytheway experienced and had to overcome.
Laura Bytheway is the Host of ‘Get Your Self Back' Podcast and a life coach on a mission to help people dealing with narcissists. She is passionate about helping people get themselves back and rebuild themselves from the inside out.
Let’s dive right into this episode and learn more about narcissism and break the dynamic of narcissistic relationships.
[00:01 - 07:29] Opening Segment
- I introduce and welcome my friend Laura Bytheway.
- Who is Laura?
- She explains her last name
- Born and raised in New Orleans and lived in Houston
- Married with two sons and a daughter on the way
- Life coach specialized in helping people recover from a narcissist abusive relationships
- Laura shares her story on how she began her career
[07:30 - 16:34] Recovering from Narcissists
- Laura shares her experiences dealing with narcissistic people in her pre-coaching life
- Grew up in a narcissistic culture
- Got her degree in psychology
- Realized that people could attract this toxic relationship in their life
- The common denominator in all this toxicity could be yourself
- Turn your blame to empowerment
- Make new decisions in your life
- Laura talks about her home situation
- Coming from a long line of narcissists
- Raised with narcissistic tendencies
- There is healing in your inner and outer world
- You can forgive and love the narcissist in your life
- Without tolerating their abuse
- Boundaries = Love
- Get to a place to process all of your pain and be done with bitterness.
- See the narcissist in your life, not as a monster.
[16:35 - 32:00] Dealing with Narcissism One step of a Time
- Deal with hurt, anger, and resentment first
- Creating room for compassion, love, and forgiveness
- Laura explains Narcissism and the traits
- Narcissist believes that love is earned
- Narcissists are full of self-hate and deep emptiness
- Don’t know how to manage their emotions
- Narcissism is also a survival mechanism
- Laura explains how to know that you are with a narcissist
- They would gaslight you
- Make you feel unchanged of their emotions
- They can be abusive
- Narcissism is more like a disability to put themselves in other’s shoes
- They are trying to control other people’s opinions about them
- It is hard to see what’s going on most of the time because the survival mechanism for you is kicking in
- Narcissists use your insecurity and anxiety
- Narcissists have a big tendency to manipulate and lie to everyone surrounding them
- Their survival depends on their skills in these areas
[32:01 - 37:44] How to help someone with Narcissism
- Laura gives some advice for some people that love or have a relationship with narcissists
- Be honest with them but don’t expect to fix everything
- If you are seeing children being victimized, it took a different action and approach
- Talk to CPS or a lawyer
- Children are not able to have consent in that situation
[37:45 - 46:00] De-Silencing your Voice
- Laura shares about the time when she feels like she is being silenced
- When you are in the narcissistic dynamic, you are being silenced
- Could be physical or emotional silence
- Being a coach in the narcissist recovery has been its therapy process
- Being abused by a narcissist could make you be the source of abuse to yourself
- Re-creating the abuse to yourself
- De-silencing yourself and say that you are full
- Show up and speak up
- Silencing comes from fear and anxiety
- You can not make everyone happy
- Allow people to be angry and respond to what you say
- Part of freeing yourself from being silenced has to do with entrepreneurship.
- The way of getting up and out of the narcissistic dynamic
[46:00 - 58:49] Closing Segment
- What advice would you give to someone that is in a narcissistic relationship?
- If it is abusive, get out as fast as possible and get yourself safe
- Break the dynamic by taking full responsibility for your own emotions
- Learn how to set boundaries and love yourself unconditionally.
- Laura talks about her work and her clients.
- The victims of narcissists, in the dynamic and trying to get out
- People who lost their sense of self and wanting to create a healthy relationship
- How to connect with Laura
- See Links Below
- Laura talks about her Podcast.
- Get Your Self Back
- Final words from Laura
"To be able to heal from a narcissistic relationship, you have to break the dynamic by taking full responsibility for your own emotion, learn how to set boundaries and love yourself unconditionally.” - Laura Bytheway
"Being abused by a narcissist could make you be the source of abuse to yourself.” - Laura Bytheway
“If you are in a narcissistic relationship and If it is abusive, get out as fast as possible and get yourself safe.” - Laura Bytheway
You can connect with Laura on Instagram and Facebook, visit her website at http://bythewaycoaching.com/, and listen to her podcast ‘Get Your Self Back. ‘
If you’d like to continue the conversation, check out the Find Your Voice Course or visit https://keishashields.com/. You will now be able to see videos if you check out the Keisha Shields YouTube Channel where I will begin putting up more content for you to see.
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