"That's right Santa, get that beard nice & tight!"

The Queens go head-to-head in a Holiday-themed 1 Star VERSUS 5 Star showdown! This Special Edition Versus Episode features Yelp reviews for Macy's Santaland! The famous Christmas tradition of visiting with the man himself... inside a department store... can arguably be traced back to Macy's and the Queens get into it! Trey's flame burns bright and he needs the Days to stop. Chelsey is Scrooge McDuck in a sea of junk, and the Queens are ready for FiestaMaiden and HammondCheeseSandWitch to go head-to-head.

Click Here to Join the Queendom Mailing List!

(04:45) Lodge a Complaint!

(15:21) Santaland 5 Star Review

(30:26) Exclusive Offer

(32:46) Meryl-Go-Round

(38:40) Santaland 5 Star Review

(53:22) My Royal Highness

(57:14) Royal Review

(59:09) Royal Court

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Visit our website for more: www.ReviewThatReview.com

@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald 

---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Everybody's got

Hello!

Oh my gosh.

Hi.

Hello listeners.

Welcome to Review That Review.

We are the podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

Reviews.

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

That voice is Chelsey Donn,

and that voice is Trey Gerrald.

And our voices together, are,

The Review Queens.

And if you want to support the show while getting bonus and exclusive

I've missed you.

We had a proper week off how's your week been?

I know, it's crazy.

I mean, it really does feel like I haven't seen you in eons.

My week was a little dulled without you.

I'm going to be honest.

Are you calling me a flamer?

I ...not intentionally.

You could adapt as you will, but no, no.

Um, it was a good week.

I went to an art show in person for Ashley Longshore, who is my mother's favorite artist.

Okay.

So she insisted that I go, but that being said, it was amazing.

Her art is incredible.

She's amazing.

I had a good time.

I just am happy whenever I do anything that resembles like pre 2020 life, you know.

Of course.

How about you?

How was your week?

Where were you, Trey?

I had a good week.

We took a week off because I went to visit my nephews and sister and former

We had a lovely trip and it was really.

And here we are.

We are back in the full swing of things with a very fun episode.

I can't wait to jump in.

I know I'm so like delighted if you're on Patreon right now, you

My screen game has been upped significantly.

I don't know if you guys remember when I told you about the issue with the skateboard

I returned that green screen.

I bought a new one.

That is, it was a little bit more and I was hesitant to buy it the first time as me.

Now, sometimes you get what you pay for, and this one is so much better, which I'm very happy

It looks gorgeous.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Screw skateboard girl, get her out of.

Yes, totally.

Was there anyone interesting on the cover of this box?

They weren't going as much with a gimmick as the other one, which I,

And then I also went to the reviews, you know, as I do.

And I saw in the comment section.

A customer had also posted a video.

So between those two things, I was pretty confident I was going to be okay.

I'm not going to lie.

There were some negative reviews.

So there was a part of me that was a little worried, but thank God all has worked out.

Ah, you know, and with all that gratitude for companies that are truthful and honest, Do

You know, I think that I really would love to...

Lodge a Complaint

...today.

I am going to lodge a complaint against a trend that has been growing

I am so sick of these arbitrary made up social influencer national holidays.

Hashtag national dog day, which is different than national pet day, which

Okay.

I just want you to see, I have two sticky notes here.

I've done some research.

This is just a list.

I'm not talking about like actual national holidays-

right?

Of course.

You're talking about world donut day.

Okay.

Let me tell you, I just, this is just a few I've written down.

It's a lengthy list.

Please hold your applause to the end.

Okay.

Pie Day.

Which is um not-

well that's 3/14,

no, not March 14th, but you think it would be, this is

We also have Mutt Day.

We have-

mud?

Mutt!

Like-

mud?

Mutt, like a mixed breed dog.

A mutt.

OH MUTT!

Oh wow.

Okay.

Faux fur day, bartender day, brownie day, pretend to be a time traveler day, app day.

Today, december 15th, unless you're listening late is cupcake day.

We also have a date nut bread day coffee cake day, girl, me too day, barbershop day, yellow

Then I just to complete my complaint.

Chelsey, do you know what national holidays are observed on your day of birth?

Which is June 22nd.

Are they bad?

Kissing Day.

Oh, I like that.

Don't know why that's not Valentine's day.

HVAC tech day,

HVAC tech day?!

Same as you Baby,.

And then onions also onion ring day,

which I don't like onion rings.

You want to hear what nationally holiday celebration?

days, on my day of birth, which is March 14th, PI day, PI.

That makes sense.

Sure.

Learn about butterflies day.

And potato chip day.

Anyway, I hate these.

I hate them.

I hate when they pop, it seems like every other day is dog day.

Every it's like, why?

Why, why?

Marketing!

It's just, it makes me so angry.

I don't care.

I don't care that it's celebrate pumpkin butterfly cupcake day.

Get out of town.

I don't care.

I hate it.

It's so obnoxious.

Just be creative.

When you post things online, you don't need an excuse.

And that's my complaint.

Complaint lodged added to the ledger.

Completely agree.

It's gotten out of hand.

It started with the hashtags and Instagram, I think really, really up the

Especially because no one knows what it is until you see that someone else has posted.

And then you're like, "Oh!"

Yeah.

And then I feel bad.

Like, oh, I didn't post a picture of my dog on national dog day or national pet day or national.

Animal.

I don't know.

It's just too many things.

National puppy day.

Exactly.

Whatever.

Alright, that's my complaint.

Chelsey.

What about you about your complaint?

That happens quite a bit.

I want to complain about junk mail.

Have we done this before?

I don't know, but I think it's time if we haven't then, I mean, we're, we're sleeping at the wheel.

Like what is with the junk mail?

I feel like every day it gets worse.

You know how they say you spend like.

However much percentage of your life asleep.

Like it's like you spend a third of your life asleep.

I think there's a very heavy portion of that chart.

That is me just deleting emails.

I think I've unsubscribed from best buy, like six times.

And yet it keeps happening.

It's like promotion@bestbuydotcom, salesrepatbestbuy.com, email twice

UnBelievable.

I spend so much of my time, like any time that I have free from doing other things, you

I'm, you know, I'm kind of OCD.

So I really do not like my email inbox to be overloaded.

It's like, seriously bothers me.

Like if I have 20 emails that are kind of unread, they're 20 emails that are unread for

Otherwise get out of there cause I need to stay focused.

Oh, just the amount of time.

What are we going to do about it?

Try it.

How do we fix.

I hadn't really thought about that.

It is something that I will mindlessly do throughout the day.

I was like, cause I like to keep my email clean.

I wasn't even conscious that I do that.

I'm also someone that cannot have a bubble notification.

Like a text.

I can't have the red circle.

No, no, no.

I can't know that like, something has been unintended to, and it's something that I've

And then I would delete it, which I don't know what that says about me.

Okay.

Cause I emails.

I don't even open the email.

I just like in the iPhone, I just do a slide.

Yes.

But I used to be so neurotic that I had to open it.

I wouldn't even look at it.

I just needed the color to change.

Showing that it had been opened before I would delete it.

That's a commitment.

Yeah.

So that's even more time then try.

I mean, imagine if we added up all that time, I think both of us would be very upset.

You know, it makes me think about waiting in long lines, which I think,

oh might be appropriate!

it makes me think about something that has, uh, been on my mind.

And I think that it's time Chelsey for you and I to go, Head-To-Head!

Let's do it.

I got my boxing gloves on when I was a kid, my S my dad bought boxing gloves for me and

Actually, if we had a fight, which some parents might say it was bad parenting,

I appreciate your father's commitment to non gender stereotypes.

I applaud that it's very progressive for that.

The eighties.

Yeah, I'm ready.

I got my gloves on.

Trey.

Let's do this!

Alright here we go.

Assess That Kvetch!

All right, everyone.

Today is yet again a VERSUS episode.

Chelsey and I are going to cover a one star review and a five star review

That's right, Santa, get that beard nice and tight.

So for this versus episode, that was very weird...

[laughter]

I just meant because when it's fake, it's like they could just

Okay.

Now we need to say what SantaLand is in case anyone is confused.

I did write this down.

Miracle on 34th Street, the like newer one with, with Mara Wilson.

I mean, the newer being that it was the nineties,

but I think that the original took place there as well.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Well I just the nineties one...

Well...Miracle on 34th street?

No, I know, but I'm just saying, oh, right.

I'm an idiot.

Yes.

Okay.

There we go.

Okay, So just so everyone is up to snuff.

Santaland is very famous because in the early 1860s,

Oh, my God,

the Macy's department store headquarters, which is in Herald square,

I did not know this was since the 18 hundreds.

Wow.

The early 1860s.

So then, so their website claims that more than 200,000 guests have visited Santaland inside

Since 1977, they weren't tallying people prior to 1977.

So it's been even more so.

And it's, you know, it's just a wonderful Macy's tradition that started at that flagship store.

And also most people will know that Macy's right in front of their, store.

They host the Thanksgiving day parade and the Christmas day parade.

Yes, the Macy's day parade.

And also it's very competitive to be the Santa.

I mean, because it's the real one, right?

You don't have kids listening to those.

I know we should sort of say like, don't let kids listen to us because

Okay.

All right.

So that's what Santaland is in case anyone didn't really know.

So it's like the most premium version of like the mall Santa Claus.

Yeah, the creme de la creme

and it is a village that is like taking over multiple levels and multiple floors.

If you're on Patreon, you can see just like a tiny portion of it on Chelsey green

I've never been.

Okay.

And they start pretty early.

Right.

They start like in November, like very they're there on this.

I would imagine it's After Thanksgiving, maybe even the week of Thanksgiving.

All right.

This is a versus episode and Trey selected the five-star.

I selected the one-star.

We got to figure out who's going to go first.

Trey's got the quarter ready?

I think.

Am I guessing you guess this time?

Okay.

So I'm going to get swept that quarter.

Try.

I'm going to catch up this time unlike, okay.

Four

weeks ago.

Okay.

Heads!

...it's tails.

Okay.

That's fine.

I've, I've been on a losing streak with a quarter, but that means we are going to hear the five

RQ T

okay, here we go.

Review That Review.

Okay.

So I was really stock with choosing between these two.

Oh, I think it is worthy of me doing the other one on the Patreon on the after

Okay.

So today I have a five star review from Yelp that is written by Marianne W.

Now, Marianne-

Do you think it's Marianne Williamson?

It's not, which I love that you just asked.

Um, because I've been, uh, we're gonna get.

Okay, you do need to know that Marianne is an elite reviewer.

They have written over 2,500 reviews.

Oh my god.

That's a lot.

That's like more time than the emails.

They have attached 39,742 images.

And whatever the person logo means.

It says 5,000.

So I think that that's the people that have like, clicked.

Like I liked it.

I thought it was funny.

It was helpful.

Okay.

So this is the five star review from Mariannie W.

Possibly debatable.

And this is from Yelp for Macy's Santaland.

Santaland is a land of fantasy and dreams.

It's also a huge money-making machine.

Every year it's set up and the space fills with wide eyes and open mouths.

The twinkling lights are a treat for your eyes.

The sweet delights will be tantalizing your taste buds as you navigate the space.

I can't forget to mention Santa.

He visits every year.

I remember the only time my parents brought me when I was little.

I wanted a Susie Walker doll that Christmas, when he asked me if I had been good, I said, yes.

Then he asked if I ate all my peas, typical question in the 1950s, I lied and

Guess what?

I got the doll that Christmas morning.

In fact, looking back at the pictures from that year, I believe it is my most

The time when you have not been jaded by the cruel reality of life.

Our financial situation changed dramatically shortly after.

Well, that's my story about Santa's land.

When I dig out my holiday decorations, I may find the photos from that year.

I will try to remember to post them here.

I was a cute little devil........

what?

That's not a Review of Santaland!.

I just, I'm starting to wonder how Mariannee things that Yelp should be.

The lead reviewer.

She's she must put, she must really get into it.

It's almost like a short story.

I was trying to think.

What is Marianne Jean?

Maybe it is Marianne Williamson.

So, 78 people have found it useful.

49 people found it funny and 71 found it.

Cool.

All right.

What.

I like, because I got so lost in the story.

Well, were we ever given any information about Santaland or was it just like my experience?

This is my personal narrative essay for my college admissions, about

What I get from Marianne's Review was that Marianne went once in the 1950s-

Yeah.

And left a review three years ago.

[laughter]

I think you're right.

That's why, like, honestly, it was sort of a twist at the end when-

It got so dark when they lost the money.

Dark about the financial changes.

Like I actually like gasped.

It was just so sad.

I felt so bad for Marianne's family.

Also.

I thought it was funny when she was like, I was a cute little devil.

Like how old do we think Marianne is?

I mean, if they were a kid that wanted a doll

Yeah

and was asked if they ate their peas in the 1950s there,

They were probably born in the forties,

I would think.

Yeah.

I would think they would be around under 10 probably.

Right.

So they're at least late fifties sixties now.

Oh, that's wait.

No, they're way older than that.

If they're born in the forties.

Oh, 70 you're right.

You're right, right.

Um, I'm I like, I'm thinking it's like 2000.

Um, I do that all the time and then they have attached a bunch of images that are not pictures

Okay.

Do we think that those are like stock images?

Or do we think that Marianne just walked by the window and takes pictures?

I think based on like the angle of the camera and like the quality of the images,

Okay.

Well, at least there's that.

So I don't really know why I I'm not, really able to break down the psychology, but I

Very seriously.

Marianne sees something on the street.

Doesn't matter if she's gone inside or not.

She's gonna write a review about it.

Mmm, I can draw that conclusion from this because Marianne

It's a moneymaking machine.

But boy, those twinkling lights are a treat and there are some delicious

It's like I'm doing a tongue twister.

Yes.

Well, that's why I was like, when did they?

Cause I was like, I remember at one point they did give some information that

I wrote down that they said that it was a money-making machine.

Cause I actually like that.

They said that like, and it's a five star review.

Like that, kind of makes me feel better when they're like, it is a money-making

So that message I think is a, is a good one.

But I tell you it's free.

You don't there's no admission fee.

Okay.

It's drawing a crowd into Macy's and you're online and

Like Macy's, isn't dumb.

They haven't been doing this for a thousand years,

but to your point here, Marianne begins this review with five

Oop, I can't forget to mention Santa.

And then it's two paragraphs about their personal experience from 70 years.

Do we think that Macy's keeps the tradition exactly the same?

Like do you think that Marianne having this memory is, you know, an indication that a

Okay.

So I am not sure, but I do think that the value that comes from this hilarious, like

Okay, who is in their possible seventies?

That is so vivid that they did take the time to go back and write a review because it is

That's what I'm saying.

I, I take, you know, writing classes sometimes.

And in one of my writing classes, one of the things we do is we, we sort of archive

Like we take, you know, 20 minutes and zero to five, five to 10, et cetera.

And you're sometimes amazed by like, wow, this trip to Macy's where I had

It's that was a memory that I didn't realize I have.

And sometimes you then end up taking that and putting it into the film, right.

Because it was like, did you eat your peas?

And then it's this whole narrative about how you did it, but you lie,

And that was like this like high, high moment.

That was like the top before you took the rollercoaster way, way, way down.

So I think that there's story here, there's imagery.

And it's very interesting.

I just wonder if, Marianne.

Almost does this exercise.

And then every time one of her memories is associated with something, she plucks it out

You know, we will never know.

Do you think that if we submitted this on Marianne's

It's possible.

She would place.

I think that you could turn this into a lifetime movie.

No question.

I think so.

That's going to be a hallmark movie.

Do you think we should option this review?

Trey?

Should we, should we get the iP?

I'm not that interested, but I think someone should.

Here's a look, another shark take.

I hear you GO!

look at that.

Okay.

And I'm assuming that the spelling grammar was great..

I mean, it may be, you are right here.

Yes.

Marianne really took a long time to craft it.

the plosives and the, yeah, very like

the descriptive language.

And it, you know, I really do like to know the personal, I really do like to know this

For me in a world where there's so many bots, first of all, the specificity

And also, it really makes me believe that this is a truthful experience and it's a unique experience

Okay.

So is this, a common experience, I can expect our was this a fluke.

I mean, it was 70 years.

Well, that's why it's hard to say.

That's why I'm wondering, like, I hate to say it.

Cause again, thank you Marianne, for all the details that you gave us, but no, I don't

I would imagine.

And today's culture is probably not allowed to ask if you've eaten your peas.

I think they can probably ask if you've been good or bad, but I think you probably

Or like, what if someone has something, you know, it's like, I feel like they

Sometimes I hate like, no, it's fine.

Do you know what a Susie Walker at all is?

No.

Like maybe like our parents would.

Also, she, uh, Marianne capitalizes Christmas morning.

Both times that they say it.

What do you think Marianne's job was?

Or is?

Bird's eye and does microwaveable peas.

Oh my God.

I think you're so right.

Um, so was there humor in this?

I mean, it was funny that they like got, so like to your point, like a little bit

I don't think that there's any information here other than here's my five-star review.

From 70 years ago and it is burned and to my body as a positive experience.

And that's pretty good.

Yeah.

And if we're going by like brass tacks though, of I'm going to Yelp, because

Shouldn't I do this.

If we're being honest, there's really no information here that

I would have to do a lot more

- Trey Gerrald: deeper digging.

Yeah.

You know, in order to figure it out.

Do we think we're ready to crown?

I think I'm ready to crown Marianne.

All right.

Let's.

All right.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of one to five crown cards and an effort to

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings

The Queens are tabulating.

You ready?

I'm ready.

Total score

Okay, I'm holding up two crowns.

Trey is holding up two and a half crowns.

I'll go first.

I gave Marianne two crowns cause I, I liked her passion and I liked that she

I liked getting to know about her personal life and I liked getting to know

Profound memory, uh, from going to Macy's Santaland.

But that was really all I could give Marianne.

I had to take all of the rest of the crowns away because there wasn't a lot of information there

So that was why I gave Mariannee two crowns.

Try.

Why did you give Marianne two and a half?

So I did two and a half because it's a little less than middle of the road to me.

I do find this to be an, an empty room.

Other than what we've like, literally beaten over the head is like, okay,

Right.

But you know, if you haven't been here and over 50 years or 70 years, Should you write a

So, you know, for that reason I did two and a half, not exactly middle of the road.

Uh, I mean, there was some substance, but really lacking.

So that was why I did two and a half.

Great.

All right.

I think that, it's funny to me that you think middle of the road is Three, because

Oh, I, well, I guess it is now that we have these.

half card.

Right.

Right.

Good.

Good.

So you gave it a full middle of the road.

All right.

So let's take a quick break.

And when we come back, we're going to hear Chelsey's a one star review of Macy santaland.

And boy, I can't wait to hear that.

I love it BRB

Hold your crown.

We'll be right back.

Chelsey and I are so excited to share this exclusive Review

Now from the makers of BarkBox super chewer as a monthly subscription-based service

That is loaded with two tough toys to meet.

And two full sized bags of treats that are customizable for allergy and diet preferences.

Super chewer is offering listeners of Review That Review one extra month free when you use our link.

Super chewer.com/queen.

Sign up right now at super chewer.com/queen.

I don't know if you guys remember when I had the bandaid on my finger,

Thank God.

She has something else to chew on, besides my fingers, as I'm going gonna say.

So did you get a subscription?

I have my sister sign me up for a subscription, which is very kind of her.

I mean, it's been extremely helpful just saying.

Let's come back.

That's my Christmas bell, but it's not our Christmas episode.

That's next week.

Anyway, Chelsey, it's time for us to take a non Christmas episode,

it's game time.

I feel like an icon most of the day is I feel like 'I can't!' that's with an,.

A'..

Here's the deal.

Trey and I have each picked a rotten scathing, pithy One-Star-Zinger and with 30 seconds on

Just like queen Meryl Streep, who does it all.

Before the clock runs out.

Alright Chels.

Whatcha got?

You guys know, I love bringing in unique products that I didn't even know existed.

So right now I'm going to read you guys a one-star review for Swiss Miss Lucky Charms

Just saying.

So- magically delicious they're magically.

I don't know if I'm like gross out or intrigued.

It's like somewhere between the tail, but I do know what contact1320 thought.

Contact 1320 gave Swiss miss lucky charms mix one star.

Their title of their review is no.

Coco hot cocoa mix and the Review!

is no hot cocoa mix at all.

Only marshmallows with no punctuation.

All right.

So today Chelsey, I'm going to strap you in on David Sedaris' one

God probably being done somewhere at a community theater near you.

I love that.

Thanks.

I am ready.

Here we go.

TLC reality show,

no hot cocoa mix at all.

Only marshmallows filling.

No hot cocoa mix at all.

Holy marshmallows

televangelist, no

hot cocoa mix at all.

Auctioneer

only marshmallows, no hot cocoa mix.

It all only marshmallows.

That's all.

I was imagining that I was like a barista on my TLC reality

Oh for Bartender day!.

Yeah, exactly.

For national bartender day.

So you got 'em five.

Good job.

Thank you.

I've really been, trying to be more specific about my performance.

Okay.

Try tell us where your One-Star-Zinger is from today.

Okay.

So I have a one star review from show first new site, Goldstar.

I don't know what it is.

Um, so this is a one-star review for the radio city music hall, Christmas

This was a Review!

was written by Maria A'.

panto.

Ha Burgas.

Okay, so this is written by Maria B

APAD, togas, Fergus.

I don't know if A'.

is the middle name or I thought Pinto ha better goals.

Oh, so Marie, okay.

P okay.

This is from Maria.

This is Maria is one star zinger.

We had greats.

Thanks.

Loved and enjoyed the,

so why is it one star?

Wait.

I didn't even finish.

Oh God.

we had greats.

Thanks.

Loved and enjoyed the show.

My family.

And it's a one-star review

and it's one star.

All right.

So there's a little bit of a confusion for Maria PEI.

Maybe in Maria.

He is mined one means five.

Like number one.

I don't know, but Maria has left four other reviews on gold star, so.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Well, good to know.

So what am I strapped in on?

You're strapped into a sled?

Try.

So get yourself ready.

Cause a sled is the thing I was like very terrified of as a child, like does

Okay.

I'm ready.

Let's do this.

Courtroom drama.

We had greats.

Thanks, loved and enjoyed the show.

My family, adult

film,

we had

grades loved and enjoyed the show like

pop star.

Family

Shakespeare.

We had great saints loved and enjoyed the show.

My family

No Trey.

We might've that's four what did I get?

You got five.

Oh I won!

It's a Christmas miracle...

on 34th street.

I'm so proud of you see your streak, your back, your you're a winner.

And I really tried to commit to the performance.

I hope it came across.

Review That Review.

All right.

We are back from that game break.

And now it is Chelsey's turn.

It is my turn.

Let's do it.

I have a one-star review of Macy's Santaland.

It is also from Yelp.

Uh, it is written by Tara C, Tara C is not an elite reviewer, but Tara, he

Um, this Review!

was written.

A little over two years ago.

Okay.

And this is Tara C!

Warning!

This experience will ruin Christmas.

This is the first Review I've ever written on Yelp because I feel compelled to spare some

Beside the fact that although having a reservation on a Tuesday mid day, my family, eight year

I know, I know it's Christmas time in New York city.

I expected to wait, but not in a tiny red hallway, getting jammed in by elves and probably

Had I known at the beginning, how long it would take, we would have left, but carry on we did.

Santaland once you actually get in is a joke.

Everything seems old and just gross.

I didn't want my kids touching anything.

I'm attaching a photo of the Santa.

We finally did see, go ahead and zoom in.

I need to write no more on that.

Seriously Macy's?

This was the best Santa you could get?

Had my children not had a really incredible experience elsewhere, this Macy's Santa

I'd never get them to believe after this.

My eight year old gasped when she saw Santa and said, "Oh my God!

This is the fakest Santa I've ever seen!"

My four-year-old wondered why kids were going into different rooms with different Santas.

So unless you want to ruin the Christmas magic for your children, do not come here.

I mean, we got to zoom in on this photo, which I like...

it's definitely a fake beard.

Okay.

And like I said before, ordinarily, like it was quite an honor to be the Macy's Santa,

Um, or relatives of Santa, I guess.

I don't know.

I know a few people that dress as Santa and they all have real beards.

Yeah, I would think that you would have that, that would be a prereq requisite,

but yeah this Santa is definitely, does not have a real beard.

Can't really get a good gauge on the age of this Santa, but the Santa

Fake eyebrows, fake white curly hair coming out of the hat that being said,

Right?

No?

Here I'm going to share so that Patreon can see, yeah, it's a nice costume.

It feels a little Nordic to me.

Yeah.

I mean, I think it's a decent Santa wardrobe.

It seems to me that this, this man is probably in his forties.

Right.

I agreed.

I'm just really tripped up by these eyebrows.

The eyebrows are pretty bad.

Whoever, whoever did the eyebrow wig job.

Yeah.

I mean, the thing that was most disturbing to me about this Review!

I guess I will say not yes, disturbing, but also impactful was the, the idea that there

Right.

Because they get well, but they get, I mean, you would think that they would

Right.

Do you think they just got the raw end of the deal here?

And that's why they're in this like cramped hallway, because that's how they differentiate

Like they there's different waiting area line areas and they just got pushed to the corner.

I literally, I have no idea how it works, but I do know that they have different.

They have a selection of different kinds of Santas.

One can get, you can make a special request for that.

Oh really?

I didn't know that.

but I don't know how it works out.

That's like listed in the FAQ on the website was the only reason I have that, but I

Cause it seems pretty rough.

Yeah, it's definitely not what I would imagine.

The caliber of the, you know, Macy's Santa would be like, I, I was very surprised.

Well, okay.

So I do think that this is pretty valuable.

I, I kind of side with Tara on this.

I have a couple of thoughts here though.

Like if, if you're a little precocious, eight year old is gasping.

Oh my gosh, this is the fakest I've ever seen.

I think, I think.

Daughter needs to get coal and her stocking something about that as

a little too precocious,

but I also get like if the eight year old doesn't even believe that.

Then maybe you're failing at the whole point of Santaland.

Right?

The whole thing about it.

It does also make me start thinking about what it would be like to be hired at Santa

But I think that when you're, but that's the, that's the responsibility you take.

I mean, every job that you have comes with some sort of,

it is funny to me that at the beginning Tara says, we were jammed in by Elves.

That sounds like a really funny album.

Yeah.

Also, yeah.

Also very cinematic, you know, like I felt like I could see.

In Elf...

Was that supposed to be Macy's too?

I'm positive.

And Christmas story is like a fake version of it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

What's the spelling like here?

I think spelling and grammar is great.

I didn't notice any complaints we did when I was obviously exaggerating.

We did use some caps throughout, um, some exclamation points, but not really like

It was just like a little bit sprinkled in, which is fine with me, really

Do you think Tara's being truthful or shady?

I think

Tara is being truthful.

I would believe that maybe the whole Macy's experience has lost its luster.

That's why with the first Review!

I think there's something very like nostolgic, and pure about Macy's in the 1950s.

And I think today dealing with the masses of people.

The population alone has gone up tremendously since then.

So, you know, dealing with the crowds and everything that you have to account for

I believe that the children didn't buy it.

And I believe Tara, when Tara shares that the four year old noticed and said,

But I.

It feels a little shady.

Like if that is the issue, like Tara was already done.

By the fact that they still had to wait after making a reservation, which

well I've been upset.

Like, what do we want to say about that?

Because like, I think waiting a half hour after a reservation is okay, but I think

I don't know, like, I don't know how hectic and crazy it gets there, but in my

Sorry.

At very least like we're having people that have reservations waiting online for two hours.

There is a question there, but then about everything looking

And then put back up, so like, sure.

Here's a question.

Is it the same stuff from 1950?

Well, that's what I'm saying.

I think it might be, even if it is taken down and placed back into place for the next season,

I mean, I don't know, I don't work for Macy's, but I'm sure that it's.

I'm sure they have their like nostalgic evergreen pieces that return every year.

But I would imagine it continues to change.

Like I'm sure that I'm sure that's not the Santa Claus seat, but I don't know maybe.

So this is what I'm hearing from you.

And I think I'm agreeing what I'm hearing for you is this might be a common

Is Is this a family that needs.

To be top of the line.

Everything has to be pristine and perfect.

And if it's not, then it's terrible.

Like there's no gray area for Tara C and fam you know, with the fake is sand I've ever seen.

Like that kind of stuff.

Is that where you're struggling?

I guess I just sort of feel like Santa himself was a disappointment.

And then in writing the review, I feel like Tara was just.

Undone with everything.

Sure.

Children are the most germy things that exist in the world.

Right.

So saying I don't want my kids to touch anything and you're inside

I think Tara is protesting too much because Tara was really disappointed.

That being said, if I'm taking my children to this make-believe character under the

I mean, point blank.

Well, that's the thing is I feel like Tara C brought up a lot of concerns

but I, I hear universal a lot of, like, there was a lot of knocking on things which tends

Right?

Correct.

So we do have to consider that it's.

As gross or as fake or as whatever

maybe it is, or maybe it is.

But I do think the big value is that you're probably going to be waiting.

I know, I wonder what I would do to adjust accordingly

I think I, I think I can crown this.

How do you feel?

I feel a bit conflicted, but um, I'm going to crown it.

All right.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

The queens are tabulating!

Oh, I'm conflicted too, but okay.

I think I'm ready or you

see I'm conflicted, but yeah,

Total Score!

Great.

Trey and I are anonymous.

We both gave three and a half.

I was between three and a half and four.

I don't know if you were between three and three and a half.

Why don't you go first?

I don't know.

I just said three and a half because I don't think that I would read

Same with the five-star review from before I need more context here.

I would want to, this is once again, just army me with information about like, I

And I need to like brace myself, like I'm going to Disney world and it's

Or agreed.

And I would imagine that the kids are going to want to touch everything.

So I want to like, see if it's dirty and gross because everything's

So like, to me, I don't really know how I land, so I gave a half more than middle of the road.

Uh, so that's why I did three and a half.

I don't know.

Why did you do.

I did three and a half.

Cause I did feel like Tara C.

did provided me with a lot of information that I'm going to be chewing on before

Just like are other people having this experience to other people think it's

These are things that Tara has.

Piqued my interest in, and for that, I think it's a good review.

There was like, there were no spelling or grammar issues.

It was very easy to read.

I took away one and a half crowns because I wasn't sure if Tara C and family was a

So that was where they lost the one and a half crown for me.

But I did think it was a useful Review!

so three and a half.

Yeah, I hear ya.

Well, I mean, I've never been to Santaland, I'm assuming you haven't either.

Well, don't assume I've never sat on Santa slap because I have really have sat on, I

Oh my Goodness.

Have you ever seen this picture?

No, I have not.

That is so there's a picture of Trey.

Patreon is seeing a picture of Trey getting spanked by Santa.

A good Santa.

I might add real beard and David is looking like, what?

Get off my man or what you're spanking my man, or what's happening here.

It's really, really cute.

You guys.

I'll share the story behind that on our Patreon.

Yeah.

My dad had a patient that was a firefighter and also Santa Claus.

So a couple of times he drove by our house in the firetruck as Santa and I sat in his lap.

So my parents were not anti Santa by any means, even though we're jewish.

So.

You Just reminded me of, we used to have Santa drive through our neighborhood

Forgot about it.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, I don't think that the five-star that I shared with for the episode today

Uh, but I would love to share the other one I found in our after-show podcast.

Yeah.

I can't wait to hear it,

but, um, I, you know, I think I would be charmed by Macy's.

Santaland and consider going, but it just isn't something I would be interested to be honest.

And it does, I really wouldn't dissipate it just being a mop scene.

I mean, it's like Harold square.

It's always a mob scene.

So like,

like, I feel like there is a similarity here to all the reviews that we do

Yeah.

Or a lot of it.

All right.

My queen.

So we have reached the most Regal portion of the show.

Chelsey.

Yes.

Who are you in ducting today?

For

My Royal Highness.

I'm going to induct today.

Cheese.

Let's talk about it.

I just love cheese.

I've been trying to take account of my diet lately.

Not because I'm like restricted myself, but just because I'm trying to write things

It's a lot.

Okay.

All kinds of cheese.

Um, mostly like I love a Parmesan.

She is a Sahrawi.

Like it has like a wine Rhine going on.

It's delicious cheeses.

It's just so good.

It makes you feel better.

There is like dopamine or something.

I want to say in cheese, there's actually been research.

That's been done to show that cheese makes you feel better.

And I just love cheese.

I mean, it's kind of like your love of fries.

Like if there's an option on a sandwich or something or a burger to add cheese.

Yes, please.

I will always exercise my right.

If I'm traveling somewhere with a vegan and we're splitting food.

We're not going to just say no cheese.

We're going to get the cheese on the side.

You know what I mean?

cheese will be included in most of my meals and for that.

And because we spend so much quality time together, me and she is, I just thought it

As My Royal Highness.

I hear you.

I love cheese as well.

I really do good one.

That's that?

All right.

Try.

Who are you inducting for your Royal Highness today?

All right, so this actually was a recommendation, from my brother-in-law

That we haven't done this yet.

Oh, now.

Okay.

So get ready to scratch it off your last you're out of here.

I know I'm sure it's probably on that today.

I'm going to induct from My Royal Highness, DoorDash, Postmates, Uber eats.

Seamless.

Grub hub, all caviar delivery, all of these delivery services, Postmates, this

Right, right, right.

But this is like such a profound invention for me.

So true.

I remember when David and I lived on 23rd street and the ground floor was a Moonstruck

From underneath us, instead of getting in the elevator and going, I would, I would

I don't know if an American invented that.

It just seems so lazy.

Just like delivery of food.

I mean, it's like so genius and I have totally.

The utilize that I've used it when I've not felt well, or I felt like go out, you

Do you remember being a kid and ordering pizza?

I mean, it was like the most fun, like special events.

I just have to do it.

Or Even like, sometimes like I'll order it before I get

It's beautiful.

I love delivering I've even figured out how to do it in Key

Oh wow.

There's a couple of services there.

So therefore I did it.

I'm inducting all of these food delivery service app.

Uh, from My Royal Highness,

what a good, and I can't even believe it.

Wasn't on my list.

It wasn't on mine either.

So that's something I'm really grateful for.

Good point.

Um, Chelsey, do we have time for a Royal Review!?

I think we can make time.

Trey,

Baby it's time for some Royal Reviews!

Okay.

Very exciting.

Chelsey today's Royal Review!

is from FiestaMaiden on apple podcasts.

Okay.

Fiesta, maiden writes, five stars, amazing show.

I hate to brag, but I found this podcast before they even released any episodes.

The idea alone hooked me.

This is a true genius podcast idea.

And it's led by two individuals who really know how to put on a show!

With an original premise and fun presentation.

This show is going to go far!

From your lips to God's...

what do they say?

Ahhh!

Kenohorah!

Thank you.

Thank you so much FiestaMaiden.

And that is so, so sweet.

I love that found us before we had officially launched and

You took the words right out of my mouth.

I mean like really?

I'm so glad that you were hooked on the premise and then you're, you're

Yeah.

That's just incredible.

And you're a queen FiestaMaiden.

I love the name, FiestaMaiden.

Me too.

We have great listeners that use their creativity bones to make fun usernames.

Agreed.

We have the best.

HammondCheeseSandWitch someone's coming for you!

FiestaMaiden,

FiestaMaiden!

Can you imagine we should have FiestaMaiden and HammonCheese, like

All right.

Well, so that's it.

Here we go.

It's episode 28, everyone.

Next week, everyone is our special Christmas episode.

So you have that to look forward to, but as of right now, that's it, we did it.

That is another entry, closer to sleuthing out.

Life's ultimate truth.

Wisdom seeking love.

Yeah.

Ferris wheel of life.

Okay.

That's amazing.

Thank you guys so much.

You Queens for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please?

I've said it a million times.

I keep saying it, but it really is the best way.

The best nicest thing you could do for us would be for you to share this with your

I have a little conversation about this.

And if you don't like what you heard, just tell an enemy, please join our

You'll see it.

Or you can just click on that symbol, like that's in our show notes.

Yeah.

And don't forget.

We want to hear from you hit up our voicemail box 1-850-REVIEW-0.

You can also follow us on all the socials @theReviewQueens.

I'm @ChelseyBD

and I'm @TreyGerrald.

Become a member of our Royal Court.

When you join our Patreon at patreon.com/ReviewThatReview

and remember, ignore the haters.

You're a queen!

Gender non-specific queen!

Bye!

Bye.

Make sure you join our after show podcast so you can hear the other Review!.

Yeah and if you're on Patreon, Stay in your seats.

Cause we got more.

Bye

Bye!

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn, with editing and sound designed by me!

With voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky.

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe