Setting the right goals starts with knowing what you truly want, and Debra Eckerling is here to make it easier than ever to figure that out.

Deb Eckerling, the creator of the DEB Method, joins me to talk about how anyone can achieve their goals by first setting a strong foundation. Deb simplifies the process with her three-step system: Determine your mission, Explore your options, and Brainstorm your path (DEB for short). She shares how her new book, 52 Secrets for Goal Setting and Goal Getting, is packed with insights from experts across industries to inspire and guide readers. Deb also explains why goals don’t have to be overwhelming—they just have to work for you.

Her passion for helping people turn their dreams into action shines through, and she offers practical tips to help busy professionals create plans that lead to success, fulfillment, and even joy.

Highlights:

• Learn how to set the foundation for your goals by clarifying your mission and defining what success means to you.
• Explore why traditional methods like SMART goals may not work for everyone and how to adapt your approach.
• Discover how directed journaling can help you identify patterns, refine your priorities, and plan your next steps.
• Understand the importance of breaking down big goals into manageable benchmarks and action items.
• Find out how joy and personal passions can fuel your progress and positively influence other areas of your life.

Connect with Debra:

Website: https://thedebmethod.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheDEBMethod

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coastbunny/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/TheDEBMethod

In appreciation for being here, I have some gifts for you:

A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile:

An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by taking the

3 Card Sampler – you won’t regret it.

AND … Don’t forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and be eligible for my

complimentary LinkedIn profile audit – I do one each month for a lucky

listener!

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Okay, hello, hello, and welcome to this

week's episode of relationships rule. I'm very excited to talk

to my guest today, Deborah eckerling. I call her Deb

because she is the creator of the DEB method of goal setting,

and we'll get into that in a minute, I do love a quote that I

saw on your website, Deb, that says it's probably your motto to

get what you want. You need to know what you want. And I love

that because I'm not sure I'm always that person, but it makes

sense when I read it on your on your website. So welcome to the

show.

Thank you so much for having me. I love

talking goals, which you know, and this is something I say

probably every single day. It gets woven into conversation

because it's true. It sounds like the simplest thing. But if

you don't know where your passions lie, or what your big

picture goal is, what's going

to get there? Yeah, how are you going to get

there if you don't know what it is? Well, the other thing that

I, that I saw, that I thought was kind of interesting, was

because, because true confessions here, I'm not a big

goal setter and and so you'd probably have a field day with

me trying to, you know, turn me into one at this late stage in

life. But maybe you've done that with other people. I don't know.

Can you change someone to become a goal setter?

This is the thing about the word goal people

think of it as a four letter word, and it is, but I think of

it as the good kind, and I had a friends five client the other

day said I never thought that I would set goals, but you're

rubbing off on me. So I think the answer is yes, okay, but you

don't even need to use the G word, you know. Maybe you like

intentions. Maybe that is your your go to Word. Maybe it's

just, you know, purpose education. So whatever word you

like, use that one. Okay. It's kind

of making me think of like, you know, the

universe will, will God, will universe, will your higher

power? Will people use whatever word they want to use? It's kind

of the same thing, making me think, as long as it works for

you exactly.

And the only rules with goal setting is there

are no rules. But the idea is to figure out what works for you

and do more of that.

Got it okay. So I want to dive in a little bit to

your method, because I saw something on your website that

said, SMART goals are dumb and Dev goals are smart. And I know

for years, you know, people tried to say SMART goals were

the way to go, and smart was an acronym for the different

definitions in the goal setting process. And I remember you

doing those in many workshops over the years. So you have

created your own system, and it is based on another acronym, the

acronym for your name. Deb, can you explain that to us and and

tell us a little bit about why those are smarter than the than

the SMART goals? I know it's a joke, but it's a it's all good.

Well,

let me answer backwards here. The SMART goals

are a tool. Okay, there's something that you can use to

achieve your goals, but it's not. The thing that bugs me

about smart goals is that no one who teaches it created it. Okay?

Was it was from like a thesis, so someone created it, yes,

someone created it, but the people who teach it don't Okay,

so that that's my little pet VB thing on them, and if they work

for you, excellent. I'm happy for you. Yeah, the thing that my

big differentiator is setting the foundation for your goals.

Because most goal setting experts, I know it's audio, but

I am using air quotes. Most of them talk about, you know,

getting to the end result, which is important, but going back to

you can't get what you want unless you know what that is. If

you do not send the foundation for your goals, where are you

going? Okay, so Deb stands for determine your mission, explore

your options, brainstorm your path. So we'll I'll do like Deb

101, real quick. So D determine your mission is you can't get

what you want unless you know what that is. And it starts.

With thinking about, what is the life that you want? So it is big

picture. It is big picture because it starts with, you

know, I want you be an expert in this area, or I am I want to be

a thought leader in this particular system, or what have

you. Or I want to build a business, or I want to be an

entrepreneur, or even I want to just be the best employee ever,

okay, and work my way up the corporate ladder, whatever it

is, or it could just be, I want balance. You know, maybe your

professional life is really successful, but you don't really

have a handle on balance. So whatever it is, when you think

about that life you want, it starts with that visual, okay?

And then I say, write your current bio and write it like

aspirational, really leaning into the thing that you do that

you love, because that's the persona you want to share with

the world. And then you write a future bio, so you've got where

you are and then where you want to go, and future bio could be

for the end of the year, or your next birthday, or three years,

or whatever. Okay, future yes, that word means to you, so

you've got your starting point and where you're going, and then

write a mission statement. You know, we all have worked for

people or companies that have a mission. So why wouldn't you

have one where yourself in or your business and or any

project, really, it starts with what is, what is that thing? Um,

what do you want? What makes you unique? And then the all

important now, how you help? Because when you're doing what

you do to help others, that's like bonus fuel. So my mission

statement would be, and these are usually long and clunky,

which is why we do a motto from it, but I'll get to that in a

second. So mine is like, use my background, experience books

workshops to help people figure out what they want and how to

get it so they can lead more fulfilled lives and, in turn,

help others. Okay, right? Yeah, my motto is goal setting

simplified. So everything that I create, whether I'm doing a

workshop or through my books, it's all designed to be user

friendly, because changing your life is challenging enough, so

it made the instructions really easy.

That's good. That's good. I like it.

So, excuse me. So in in the demo sphere, as we

were calling it. So the D that that is, that's set in the

table, okay?

The E stands for explore your options and so determine your

mission. This is the life I want explore my options is okay. How

do I get there if I want to be a thought leader? What does that

mean? Am I writing a book? Am I starting a podcast? Am I

building a business in service of the things that I know? So

you want to look around and see what what you can create to get

you where you want to go. And I've got this exercise. And for

me, this is, like the all purpose of everything. I call it

directed journaling. It is your solution to figuring almost.

Gotta put the almost in, almost anything out. And I say set

three to 515, minute appointments with yourself, and

during which time you are just answering a question or a very

specific series of questions, what's next, or what do I want

to create, or what do I want out of life? And just brain dumping,

and you do this for like, 15 minutes, a few times, and the

the trick is, don't read any of your babblings until after

you've done it 345, times, and then you can go back and read it

and find the common themes. Because something that you may

have thought that you wanted you mentioned, like twice, and

something else that you thought was just this really cool thing

you're like writing about all the time, so when you get things

out of your head, you can look at them objectively and use that

to figure out next steps.

Nice. Okay, do you work mostly with

entrepreneurs, business owners. I

do, I like to say my demographic is busy

professionals, because we're the ones that always want more,

right? Yeah, and we're

lifelong learners as well, and we're always

looking to do new things. Yeah? Deb, so, Deb, I know that you

have just recently launched your newest book, and I'm pretty

excited for you this book, which is called 52 secrets for goal

get setting and goal getting. Is that correct? Yes, okay, 52

secrets for goal setting and goal getting so first of all,

I'm curious what was the the germ of this book? How did it

come to be?

Before we go into the book, I realized that I

talked about what the D is and the E is, but not the B

not finish. Oh, my God, it's all good. That's

what conversations are about, right? So feel free Go ahead. So

let's

back. Let's back up before we run forward.

Absolutely. So explore your options. Once you figure out

what it is you want to move forward with, do a little bit of

research. See who in your network does what it is that you

want to explore. Have some conversations. That way you can

make an informed decision about what your next steps are, and

then brainstorm your behalf is all about getting all of the

things out of your head onto the page, and then divide it into

rehearsal and professional goals, long term and short term

benchmarks, action items, so all the different things that you

need to do to accomplish it. And then you divide and conquer. So

you put everything together, and then you make a plan to turn

those goals into reality. So like I said, it's simple. Figure

out what you want, explore what that means, and then make a plan

to put it into action. Awesome.

Brainstorm it and make and make that plan,

alright? And this is all documented in your website as

well, actually, in in some of the copy there, right? So it's

easy to review it there. And I encourage people to do that,

because it's it. When you say it like that, it is simple. It's

just sitting down and doing it.

The least simple part of creating a life

is actually creating that life. But I am a firm believer that

when, when you take the time upfront, yeah, when you really

think about what it is you want to create, you have the answers.

You just need to take the time and ask yourself the questions.

Yeah, great point. Great point, which

actually comes nicely back to the book, because I know that

the book is about questions and answers. So talk to me a little

bit about how that this book came to be, and then a little

bit about the book, because it's pretty it's pretty interesting,

from what I've heard.

Oh, it is. I've done a lot of Deb things, but I

feel like 52 secrets for goal setting and goal getting is

really the most dev thing that I've done. And in even though

it's 52 secrets, I interviewed 60 experts in the areas of

business, tech, food, entertainment, creative, and I

asked them, What is your secret for goal setting or goal

getting? And that's what the book is. Is these 60 tips from

people that you normally probably would not put together.

I would

Yes, and well, these are people that you have

assimilated into this book that meant something to you for each

piece, right?

Yes, absolutely. So I my first

traditionally published book, your goal guide, a roadmap for

setting, planning and achieving your goals that was out in

January 2020, so six weeks before the world got changed by

circumstance, out came my book to help people embrace change by

choice or by circumstance. And at the time, I was leading a

Twitter chat, and shortly after, we all got land locked or home

locked or whatever, my publisher said, why don't you start a live

show with gold chat? And I have been thinking about it, and I'm

like, okay, yeah, it was a very easy yes. And it started out, I

think the first two episodes, I talked to myself, and then I

started doing it as interviewing guests. And then the end of 2020

I brought up a panel together, and that's the format I do now,

but this was the end of the year. And how do you have a

holiday party when no one can leave the house? Well, you bring

people together who don't know each other. So that was the

start of gold chat, as it is now, bringing different people

who, unless it's on purpose, have never met before the

conversation, and that's pretty much what the book is, is

bringing together. Different people, and they are all either

first degree connections, friends or people I've

interviewed or people who I've interviewed who said you need to

put this person in your book, because I want to know what they

have to say, what their trick is. So it was the most awesome

evolution into a project and again, really the most me,

because the secret to success is there is no one's secret, but

when you see what works for other people, you have this

wonderful menu of inspiration and tactical advice that you can

put into action.

Well, I thought, first of all, pretty impressive

to me that Brian Tracy did your forward, I think in your book,

wasn't it? He did the Yeah. And I think guy kiwaki Did the

afterwards, the afterwards even, and also had a chapter in the

book, I think, as well. Didn't Yes, well,

Brian Tracy was an intro through my publisher,

so very excited and blessed to have that. And Guy hawasaki, he

is the afterward, but his afterward is actually a tip.

Okay, this is what happened, and why 52 secrets has 60 secrets in

it is because I just got some wonderful responses, and I

didn't want to turn anybody away. So I ended up putting a

bonus tip in each chapter, in the nice and then put guy as the

afterward. And when I started working, working on the book I

started with, you know, proof of concept. So I emailed a handful

or so of people who I trusted, who I knew had awesome things to

say. So the first batch of the interviews that I got for the

book were through email, and then most of them, though, were

people that I interviewed via zoom and put their words into

each chapter. So it's a different way. It's the dead

way, really, of bringing people together. But I love it and

guide Kawasaki came because one of the people in my book, I

mentioned that I really wanted to get guy for the book. And she

said, Well, Larry just interviewed him, and Larry needs

to be in the book as well. So after you interview Larry, ask

him maybe he can do an intro for you. And I did, and he said,

This is the email address you need to write to they responded

within the day, and that sometimes all you really have to

do is ask,

exactly, yeah, if you don't ask, the answer is

always no, right? And so it's That's brilliant, and I think

you divided the book into different segments, right?

Yes, there are seven chapters. So we start with

focus, and then we go into well being, and from there it is

action, networking, communication, productivity,

teamwork. So did is that seven? I

think so, yeah, so is that? Is that, did you

divide the people based on the answers they gave? Or did you

just take part of some answers to be in the different sections?

Like, how did you do that?

I and I have to correct myself. I said teamwork

it's actually leadership and teamwork. That's the seventh

chapter. I didn't put them together until after I did the

interviews. Got it okay, and it was really interesting. There

was one topic, and this is why it was great to do it as

interviews, because there was one tip that I got from like,

three or four different people. And so for two of them, I asked

them to adjust it okay for the other two, I for one of them, I

said, Can we just jump on a new zoom? Because I know you have

other tips. And he gave me another one, which was perfect,

which I think I did with the other, with the other duplicate.

And that in doing the interviews as I got further along of the

process, if I saw someone giving a tip that I already had, I

would say, This is awesome, but can we get like another one,

just for like safety purposes, so there was not repetitive. The

other thing that I found was really interesting was that a

lot of the tips could be in more than one category. So, yeah, go

ahead. Sorry, yeah. So I ended up with networking and

communication as two separate chapters, but most of them could

be in one. Or the other

well, I just find it interesting that so many

there were duplicates in your experience, because it obviously

shows that that you know, some things are definitely more

prevalent with people that more common, right? That as their

secrets for goal setting, right? They're more common ones than

others. No, yes,

and no, I mean, and I let There are 60 original

secrets, and they also come with an example to support what

they're doing. So I think one of them is Be kind and be prepared.

Another is be able to look at yourself in the mirror. So

similar, yeah, yeah, but not the same, yeah. And they really

build on one another.

That's very good. That's really fun. And I mean,

you're like me, you're a huge networker too, over the years,

so you probably didn't have a shortage of people to ask, and

yet you wanted to make your your contributions diverse. And I

think you got a couple of people that have some star quality that

you weren't expecting to get, but you, through your

networking, you were able to to put into the book. Am I right?

Yes,

and I think you're talking about the Patrick

J Adams example. That's

one example, yes,

but that's a really good story. And for the

people in the book, and I'm really glad that that you

brought that up, I wanted them to be people I would be friends

with. You know, people who've got that helpful Spirit, who

want not only to succeed, but to help others succeed. So as I did

these interviews, I would ask people, Who else do you know who

needs to be in the book? They need to be someone I would be

friends with and within the spirit of the book. And this

actor, friend of mine said, I'm on it, and I get a text from

him, watch for your email. And it was an introduction to

Patrick J Adams, and I was supposed to talk to Patrick for

like, five or 10 minutes, and we were on the phone for a half an

hour. Fantastic.

So for those who don't know who he is, because

there still are people out there who don't watch TV, believe it

or not, please share. Oh,

so Patrick J Adams, he was the lead in suits,

and he's also got some projects ongoing now. He's got this new

suits re watch podcast, and he's on the new Yellowstone spin off.

Oh, okay, I haven't seen that yet. So he

wasn't just the lead, though, in he was also a producer, I think

of the show. I think he and Gabrielle Mott were both

producers of the show. So, no,

that makes sense,

yeah, yeah. So, I mean, he was, yeah, anyway, I

mean, in suits, from my perspective, was it was filmed

in Toronto, and it was a hit in Canada, way before it was a hit

in the US. In fact, it was through through COVID that it

got put onto Netflix, and that's when it soared, because everyone

was home looking for something to watch. So, yeah, but, and

didn't hurt that Megan Markle was in it as well. So yeah, yes,

it's one of those things, because I watched

it when it was on USA Network with commercials, you know,

yeah, me too. And the person who introduced us, Dylan can again,

is an actor, nicest guy in the world. He is very tall, yeah,

and bald, and he always plays the bad guy, yeah. And he is

like the exact opposite, like the nicest, most warm person in

the world, and just so and he gave me a couple other of the

interest to people in the book, but and then his tip, the one

that Dylan gave, was about the power of collaboration. So it's

not just people saying things. They're discussing the through

their lens, the things that have worked for them that are so

important in creating any sort of endeavor. And it's whether

you're part of a team, whether you're a leader, whether you're

a thought leader, whether you're an actor, whether I've got a lot

of food people in there too, because I also

host, yeah, but it's some

so many of these things are relevant, and it doesn't matter

what it is that you're doing, yeah, and I got this wonderful

review of it. That said, I know it's meant to be a book that you

could pick up and put down, but I couldn't put it down so you

can read it straight through if you need a giant dose, or if you

need advice in one of the categories, you can just go to

that chapter or go to that person.

Excellent. That's that makes sense, and that's

great. That's a good non fiction, business type book,

right? Or self development type book, okay, so that book is

available on your website, where? Okay,

anywhere. So now you can go to 52 secrets

book.com and it's got all the links to all the places, or just

go to your favorite bookstore,

perfect. So we'll make sure that's in the show

notes as well. I do have to ask you, though about your food

podcast as well, because I have so many questions about that.

Because, number one, I think I read that you really weren't

into food or cooking in, I don't know how long ago, but you

weren't into cooking, and here you are now doing, are you

cooking? Are you just doing a food podcast? Oh,

no, I'm cooking. Okay? I am a, I am a

former non Cook, okay? And about, I think it's seven and a

half years ago now, I got my mom an instant pot for Mother's Day,

and she looked at it and said, is you learning how to work? It

part of my gift, and we're hired to that, you know, I was the

prep chef, you know, I love gutting things, yeah, the the

joke was, if it's round, I could cook it, you know, like

tortillas or pizza or pancakes or whatever. And so we watched

some videos together, and it was easy. We both really got

involved and excited about the Instant Pot. But for me, it was

like gateway, because I am gold person. I love that you can put

in ingredients and go do things and be rewarded with a meal,

yeah. So I went from that, and then I got an air fryer top that

was, you know, like, I didn't know that I would love the air

fryer, but I wanted to go step by step, and then an air fryer.

And honestly, I use one or the other almost every day for

cooking, because they're easy. But the other thing that I

discovered is, boy, is there joy from that. You know, it is like

the best way to walk away from everything that's going on,

because you cannot be jacking email or texting and cooking.

You

can't I know I get sometimes I'll be doing

something and get sidetracked because my phone dings or

something pings, and then I forget, oh, my God, you know,

because you get carried away. So I totally get that. So did you

grow up? Like, was your mom a cook?

Oh yeah, she loved to cook. I love going to

the grocery or I liked making the little platters. And then

the summer before my senior year of college, I worked short

order, which is when I learned to cut vegetables, yeah, okay,

um, and when we moved, when my mom and I moved to California,

we became roommates, and we just, we ended up staying

roommates, and at some point, you know, I be probably during

COVID, because We got so bored with cooking is and I got, I

just really started to love this process. We we had a little bit

of a role reversal. And I had written for the Jewish Journal a

few years ago before your goal guide came out. And I got a call

a few years ago from the editor saying, Do you want to write for

us again? And I said, if I can write about food. And he said,

Okay. And about a little over a year later, they said, Do you

want to do a food podcast? Because they had seen my other

one. Okay, so every Wednesday, I release a new episode of

teaspoons with Deb is bite sized conversations about food,

cooking and community, and it's just it's fun. Every I'm not

gonna say everybody loves food. Most people do not gonna say

everybody loves cooking, because I don't understand the people.

But as a former non cook, I get it, but it's almost like, just

take, take some time, you know, like, like gifting yourself time

to work towards your goals. Gift yourself the time to explore.

And it doesn't have to be cooking, but if you have some

sort of a hobby or joy that takes you away from electronics,

go with it, because it is so revitalizing and refreshing. And

I like cooking because you're rewarded, you know, with food.

You know, there, aside from that, some. Of accomplishment

you get to eat. So yeah, but

there's but it's interesting because there I'm

curious, and I do have to wrap it up in a few minutes, but I am

curious that you weren't into cooking. Would you say when you

weren't into cooking? Were you then a foodie? Because there are

foodies and there are people who are not they could they just eat

because they have to get the fuel in them. And I don't get,

yeah,

I don't get those people either. I always

love food, okay? And like I said, I was very blessed. My

mother always loved to cook. She always had the pot of soup going

when I was growing up, too. And soup is my favorite, probably

because it's the easiest. It's also my favorite thing to make

because you make chicken soup, and you have chicken and you

have soup and you can feed and it makes the house smell

absolutely wonderful. But I think one of the great my mother

was amazing, but one of the greatest gifts that she gave me

was, you know, encouragement to follow my passion. Um,

encouragement to help other people follow their passion. I

was called to the cheerleader's cheerleader, but also that that

love of food, because there's nothing like that. Well, if

you like me, if you grew up, if your mom was

anything like my mom, there was Jewish food all the time, right?

And you can't beat it if you grew up and then we didn't get

that passed down, because when we were growing up, at least for

me, chopped liver was full of fat and and, you know, things

were rich and too fatty to eat, my kids wouldn't eat them. And

so I did learn how to make some of this stuff, and I can make a

mean chicken soup and matzo ball, but we don't do it that

often, you know what I mean. But food was part of our culture,

and I think that's where the love of it comes from for

people. And so I get, you know, if you didn't cook, but you were

around food, I get that, that, you know, you would love it. So

I love that.

Well, in my job growing up, is I would ride my

bicycle to the grocery, do the shopping, and then call home for

someone to pick up the groceries. Because for me, that

was, this is when I was in a high school that was fun because

my friends work there, and that was being social around food.

Then, yes, now being social around food is I get to talk to

people who've got these wonderful stories about how they

came to love food, and a few of them are also former non cooks

who discovered it later in life, and it's, it's just, it's joy,

it's Yeah, and I'll tie it back to goals. Okay, find something

that it is joy, because that's where you're going to put your

attention. And maybe it doesn't make money for you right away,

but it's going to leak over into the other parts of your life. So

you really want to tap in, do that happy factor and let that

govern everything else that you're doing. So if you don't

love your job, start a side hustle, but do something that

really gets you excited and let that permeate through

everything. That's

such a wonderful attitude to have too, because

you never know where it's going to lead, even though you might

be setting your goals towards it, you don't know where it's

going to go. I mean, you can gear yourself, guide yourself

one way or another, but and be open. I guess you have to be

open to the possibilities of what it will bring.

Yes in a circling back to the beginning

of the conversation, goal, intention, what do you want your

life to be? Think about that and then set the foundation for what

you want to create to get there.

Fantastic. This has been a joy to talk to you,

because I love talking to people, and especially when I

can see them light up with the things that make them tick and

and so I will put in the show notes everything about your book

and about your website. And I do encourage you my audience, to

check out Deb's work and see if you need some guidance around

your goal setting. And I encourage you to buy her book,

because I think it's going to be joyful to read it as well. I

can't wait. So thank you again. Thank you for being here, and

thank you to my audience as usual. Appreciate you if you

like what you heard. Let us know we always love five star

reviews, and remember to stay connected and be remembered. Do.