Today I'll talk to Janet. Janet's drinking rocketed during lockdown and although she could still function, she knew that she was drinking a dangerous amount. In partnership with her identical twin, she ditched the booze and is beaming with pride as she shares her success in sobriety with us today.

Hi everybody and welcome to

Sober Alcohol Free Stories.

2

I'm Victoria and I don't drink.

3

Today I'll talk to Janet.

4

Janet's drinking rocketed during

lockdown and although she could

5

still function, she knew that she

was drinking a dangerous amount.

6

In partnership with her identical

twin, she ditched the booze and is

7

beaming with pride as she shares her

success in sobriety with us today.

8

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Hi, Janet.

9

Lovely to see you again because we

had a few technology issues with

10

the podcast, so we've decided to

start again because it was just the

11

gremlins were not coming together

and helping me rescue our recording.

12

Thank you so much for being so open

to coming back and talking to me again

13

because these things happen and I

still really want to get your story

14

out there so I very much appreciate it.

15

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

and I'm happy to be back.

16

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Ah, you're so welcome.

17

so as I said to you last time, we're

just gonna have a talk about your story.

18

I'd love for you to share with me

and the listeners, your experiences.

19

So a bit about who you were as a

drinker, what that looked like, and

20

then maybe , what made you decide

that enough was enough and that you

21

wanted to knock that on the head

and a bit around how you did it.

22

So if there's someone out there who's

listening who thinks that sounds familiar,

23

sounds a bit like me, or I could be headed

that way, just to show them it's possible

24

really, , and then some of the wonderful

things that you've gone on to do, and

25

so that there is hope that you can have

a really exciting future, and a lovely

26

life without drinking alcohol, and you're

really proof of that, so it'd be good

27

for you to share some of that as well.

28

So I'll hand over to you.

29

If you could just introduce

yourself and tell us a bit about

30

who you were as a drinker first.

31

That's where we'll start.

32

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Okay.

33

my name's Janet Poiner.

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I'm 62 years of age.

35

I'm an ex nurse, so I've been in

the medical fresh profession and

36

married to a GP, also had a business

promoting education for GPs and nurses.

37

So I am quite medical.

38

and as a result, I realized.

39

that my drinking was

really getting out of hand.

40

So as a teenager in, or in my twenties,

right up to my thirties, didn't

41

really appreciate drink, didn't like

it, just drank for the sake of it.

42

When I was in public, you know, a

glass of wine could last me all night.

43

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm-hmm . Mm-hmm

44

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

got into my forties, I started to

45

like the taste of wines, and spirits.

46

And my favorite drink was red wine

and Brandy and the brandy had to be a

47

reasonable mate like Remy or Corbacia.

48

those were my main drinks and I

progressively drank more and I realized

49

some 10 years ago really that I was hiking

up my drink it was getting a problem but

50

Sort of denying it as we probably all do.

51

But, I carried on, I tried

to stop numerous times, but I

52

wasn't really serious about it.

53

My husband did say, I think, you

know, you need to just down a bit.

54

I would try and stop and just drink

on the weekends, but that proved

55

to be very difficult for me cause

I ended up drinking as much as I

56

would drink in a week on a weekend.

57

And then when COVID hit, I was,

predominantly working from home.

58

And it was easy just to reach

out for the bottle of wine at two

59

o'clock in the afternoon, pretending

I was having a lunch drink,

60

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Mm

61

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

stopped.

62

I continued the drinking

until I went to bed.

63

And before I knew it, I was getting

through two bottles of red wine and half

64

a bottle of brandy every single night.

65

I realized that was too much and

every morning, and I'm sure a lot of

66

people do this, you wake up and you

think, Oh God, not again, I'm going to

67

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

68

Mm

69

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

What a disgrace I am, everything.

70

And I just carried on, I carried on.

71

And then three and a half years

ago, my twin sister, identical

72

twin sister, who also drank.

73

Probably not as much as me, but

nearly as much going through a very

74

messy divorce and her husband had

said she stops drinking because

75

she's got a problem then there might

be a chance I'm going to be doing

76

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

77

Mm

78

Mm hmm.

79

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

going to do something we actually

80

see it through when we're serious.

81

Now remember I tried to stop several

times, but I wasn't serious about it.

82

This time I realized I've got,

this is my only chance now.

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And I can't have a drink with her.

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can't be drinking alcohol

if she's trying to stop.

85

So, so we did it and we

have, we have achieved it.

86

And, that's three and a half years ago.

87

So, if, if I can do it, I think a

lot of people can, because I did

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drink a lot and I still functioned.

89

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

90

Gosh, that's interesting.

91

I, something that made me wince a

bit when you were talking is you

92

said that when you used to wake up

in the morning and you would feel

93

like you were a bit of a disgrace.

94

And just that awful, that awful feeling

that you have about yourself And to

95

think that every day and how damaging

that can be to a person, actually, the

96

accumulation of those thoughts all of the

time is really quite saddening, isn't it?

97

To

98

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: it

99

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

you were doing that for yourself

100

and feeling that way about yourself.

101

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Self loathing is just, yeah, yeah,

102

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I was asked about this, once on a

103

podcast, somebody asked me, what's

the thing that you've noticed the

104

most since you stopped drinking?

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And this was quite some time

ago when I was pregnant.

106

Probably about a year in and I said, that

I liked myself a bit better and, she said,

107

well, you've lost the cloak of shame.

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

109

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

called it the cloak of shame.

110

And I forgot that sound.

111

That's exactly what it was.

112

It was just this thing that

carried around, wasn't it?

113

Like, oh gosh,

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah.

115

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

why did you, why did you

116

have a drink last night?

117

Didn't need to do that.

118

It was only a Thursday or whatever it was.

119

Just felt terrible about yourself.

120

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, it is.

121

It is.

122

But I felt like when I, when

I'd stopped drinking, I realized

123

what I was capable of doing then.

124

And I could

125

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

126

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

any time of the day, any time of

127

the night and go out and I didn't

have that horrible feeling in

128

the morning, let alone hangover.

129

I was happy to, to share the fact

that I wasn't drinking anymore to my

130

friends and people I didn't even know.

131

and if people say, Oh, you're not drinking

people that didn't really know me.

132

And I'd say, no, I drank too much.

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So I decided to stop.

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And that's what I'll tell people.

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And I'm not ashamed of it.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No.

137

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

absolutely not ashamed of what I did.

138

I just felt.

139

self loathing after

I'd had drinking binge.

140

I'm doing something about it.

141

And, and as well as being able to

drive a car without feeling you

142

might be over the limit the next day,

which I'm sure I would have been,

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

144

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now got a new granddaughter and I

145

know that I am trusted now to look

after her any day of the week.

146

So that for me is priceless.

147

Absolutely priceless.

148

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Absolutely.

149

Well, I mean, you trust yourself.

150

So obviously other people

will trust you as well.

151

and if we're honest with ourselves,

there's no way they would let you

152

look after her if you were drinking

two bottles of red wine and a

153

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: I

154

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

bottle of brandy.

155

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

don't think I could have put

156

myself in that situation.

157

I'd have had to refuse,

158

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, absolutely.

159

Oh gosh.

160

It's a, the capability that

comes afterwards is, um, is

161

something else, isn't it?

162

Realizing that what you can do.

163

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, I mean, you don't realize

164

that when you are drinking because

these, these little steps that we

165

suddenly realize once we've stopped

drinking are huge once you get there.

166

Once you get to the stage where

you've stopped drinking and you see.

167

Oh my God, I can go out.

168

I can have a drink.

169

I can have a non alcoholic drink,

know, make it look like I'm drinking

170

if that's what you need to do.

171

And I do that.

172

I mean, that is what I do.

173

I drink non alcoholic wine

and non alcoholic beers.

174

And I enjoy that, that that's, and

for me, and it's great, to get in that

175

car and be able to drive any time.

176

And those, those little

steps are huge in the end.

177

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, what I love about you, Janet,

178

is when you, when you talk about

that, not being ashamed of drinking,

179

you are actually quite different to a

lot of people in that sense, because

180

lots of people don't like to say

that they had an issue with drinking,

181

which in itself, I think is a shame

because, It is a addictive substance.

182

There's, there's no shame in that.

183

if you got addicted to something else

that was an addicted substance and

184

then you stopped doing it, people would

celebrate it massively, wouldn't they?

185

So, you know, if you said, Oh, I used

to take cocaine all the time and now I

186

don't, it would be like, Whoa, amazing.

187

Well done.

188

But somehow there's this weird

thing when it comes to alcohol

189

about it being your fault that it.

190

And I actually truly don't believe it is.

191

I think it can happen to anyone that you

gradually just start drinking more and

192

more and circumstances feed into that.

193

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

194

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

So I love that you've said that

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squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

a lot of people, I want people

197

to feel like you feel about that.

198

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: I

mean, my sister is the same, but I know

199

people that are ashamed of saying what

they drank and, you know, and I think we

200

discussed this before the term alcoholic

201

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

202

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

is really, a negative term to me

203

because what denotes an alcoholic?

204

I mean,

205

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

206

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

drank two, two bottles of red and a

207

half a bottle of brandy every day.

208

What does that say about me?

209

You know, um, I, I wouldn't

say I was an alcoholic.

210

say I was drinking too much.

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squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

212

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

over drinking and, but I could still work.

213

I could still do my job.

214

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah,

215

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

but I was drinking too much.

216

So which bit do we call an alcoholic?

217

know, the guidelines of safe drinking,

you know, always vary, don't they, as

218

well, and it's different for different

people what they can tolerate.

219

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, yeah.

220

And I mean, let's face it, there's

not very many people who stick

221

within the actual recommended limits.

222

And those recommended

limits aren't safe anyway.

223

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

exactly.

224

I think if,

225

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

you know, there's so many links,

226

isn't there, now to cancer?

227

I mean, it's not, not all the

information isn't necessarily out there

228

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

229

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

everybody to see.

230

But it, but it, well, it is if they look

for it, they would find the information.

231

And you're right, I think that

that term, the term alcoholic,

232

can very easily keep people stuck,

233

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: yes,

234

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

because it allows you to It allows

235

you to justify that, well, you're not

as bad as, or you're not drinking.

236

And there will be people possibly

listening to the podcast who

237

think, Oh, well, I didn't drink

two bottles of wine and a half

238

a bottle of brandy, so I'm okay.

239

But no, you're not okay.

240

If it's having a negative impact on

your life in whatever way that is,

241

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

242

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

then it's something that you

243

want to take control of and

make some changes, isn't it?

244

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely.

245

And I would never ever judge anybody

for the amounts that they drank, never.

246

I don't care if people judge me.

247

I'm not bothered, which is the reason

I will say how much I drank . I know

248

is I had a drink problem and I needed

to address it to carry on living.

249

and my liver, was under scrutiny

and I have had, liver function tests

250

recently, and I'm absolutely fine

251

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Wonderful.

252

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

So I'm, I'm happy to say, you know, I,

253

and I know it does, it does recovery

if you, if you get it, you know, if

254

you, if you get there quick enough.

255

but that's another, pleasing

point for me is that health

256

wise, I'm in a better place.

257

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

258

Well, you look a picture of health.

259

I know everybody can't see you

because this is audio only, but you

260

really do look a picture of health.

261

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

lot of people have said that.

262

And when I look back at photos, I feel

my God, cause you know, the bloated

263

face, the eyes that are all swollen up.

264

That's, that's what I

can see in my pictures.

265

And my eldest son actually

showed me a picture.

266

When he got engaged to his, now wife,

about five years ago and he said,

267

just look at the difference of that.

268

He said, you're going backwards in age.

269

He said, you look younger than me.

270

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Does he drink?

271

Maybe you should give up the drink.

272

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, the thing is my

273

kids don't really drink.

274

I have three boys all in their

mid to late thirties and they

275

don't, they don't really drink.

276

They may have a social drink with

their friends, but they don't drink.

277

Other than that, really, if we

have even Christmas time, they

278

won't have a drink and they're

279

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

280

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: So,

at least I haven't pushed that onto them.

281

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

No, no, I'm sure you haven't.

282

Well, I'm kind of hoping that mine won't.

283

I mean, mine are younger than yours.

284

So I've got a 12 and a 15 year

old, 15 year old is interested

285

in curious about everything.

286

So, so we'll see, but, I wouldn't probably

tell him to never drink, but certainly

287

it's useful to have a choice, isn't it?

288

And to know it's an option.

289

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely, and I never did that

290

with mine, you know, I mean, I,

they understood, you know, the

291

complications, and, you know, they'd

have parties here when they were

292

younger, and yes, they drank then,

293

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

294

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now as they're grown up, they're not

295

that bothered about it, and, you know,

that's a good thing for me anyway,

296

that's a good thing, knowing that

they haven't picked up that addiction,

297

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, that's good to know because

298

you can catastrophize that I

can catastrophize quite easily

299

and think, oh my gosh, what if,

300

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

301

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I think he just show that

302

there is another way and, you

know, my husband's still drink.

303

So, you know, I wouldn't, I don't

judge anybody for still having a drink.

304

And I think if my children

did, it would be fine.

305

I can't imagine that it would be

problematic, but they could see it.

306

That you don't have to,

307

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

308

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

which I never knew I weirdly, I didn't

309

actually think that was an option.

310

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

311

I was the same.

312

But I mean, in this day and age

now, I find things a lot easier

313

with the products out there.

314

I mean, there's so many red

wines, white wines, fizz, gins, I

315

can't believe how many gins there

are that are non alcoholic and

316

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

317

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

so much and so many beers that I

318

can't, I couldn't tell the difference.

319

And I have to check when I order a

drink, it's, if it's from a bottle.

320

have to see the bottle have

to see the bottle of, beer.

321

So if it's a beer, it has to be through

a bottle so I can see that it is zero.

322

Cause I probably wouldn't be able

to notice the difference these days.

323

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, it is really hard to tell

324

the difference actually, isn't it?

325

So I would agree with you.

326

That's probably a top tip if you've,

if you've stopped recently and you

327

are out and you're ordering a non

alcoholic beer, just ask for the bottle,

328

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

329

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: or

put and pour it in a glass if you want

330

one and pour it in yourself, because at

least you can double check then can't you?

331

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

That's right.

332

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Hmm.

333

Hmm.

334

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

wines are probably different because

335

I was on a cruise, which the first

time I stopped drinking, I found that

336

really difficult being on a cruise

and having the drink included and

337

not being able to have a brandy,

but they did do non alcoholic wines.

338

And I remember had Brought me

over a an alcohol wine and I'm

339

I knew straight away because I

smelled the smell of it was quite

340

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

341

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

and it was fairly early on

342

and I said to my husband.

343

I'm sure that's That's alcohol

and they said it was they've

344

given me the wrong one.

345

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

346

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

But if I had I wouldn't be beating

347

myself up and saying oh my god,

I've had an alcohol, you know It

348

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No.

349

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

been a mistake by them and

350

I wouldn't have pursued it

351

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

352

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

but I do,

353

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Well, that happened to me.

354

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

right?

355

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

happened to me.

356

It was actually my husband's fault.

357

So he'll probably listen to this.

358

So this is, um, he, we were on a

camping trip and he was making,

359

I can't remember what it was.

360

Was it pina coladas or

something silly like that?

361

And he said, oh, do you want one?

362

I'll make you an alcohol free one.

363

I said, yeah, all right then.

364

Anyway, because it was the camping trip

with all of his chums, the ones he was

365

making for them were really strong because

they're just silly when they go camping.

366

and he handed me the wrong

one and I didn't think to

367

smell it because it was him.

368

And because he's so supportive

of me and so careful, you know,

369

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah,

370

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I didn't even think to smell it.

371

And I just took a swig, but it

was so sweet, it blew my head off.

372

I was like, oh my God.

373

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

374

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

God, you've given me the wrong one.

375

I nearly killed him.

376

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Oh,

377

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: I

certainly wasn't going to reset myself

378

because it completely wasn't my fault.

379

And interestingly, it didn't make me

think, oh yeah, I quite like that.

380

I just didn't.

381

I just thought, no, that's

not for me, not having it.

382

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

383

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

But yeah,

384

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

385

You see, that's because you're strong

willed enough to stick to your guns.

386

And I also think I've come this far.

387

If I was to have a drink

it would put me back.

388

It would make

389

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah,

390

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

feel like I've let myself down.

391

I'm going to have to start all over again.

392

And that's the thing.

393

That's the push that I've got.

394

And for anybody that is listening

to this, maybe that's what you

395

tell yourself if it will help.

396

But it certainly helps me to

think if I picked up a drink now,

397

that means I've undone all of the

three and a half years that I've

398

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

399

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

So that's how I am.

400

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I've seen a really lovely quote.

401

I don't know where it was, but

it said, You didn't come this

402

far just to come this far.

403

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes,

404

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

And I think that really

405

sums that up, doesn't it?

406

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely.

407

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

And I used that in the early days.

408

So, you stopped pretty abruptly

by the sounds of things.

409

did you face any challenges?

410

Did you find anything difficult?

411

Or was it fairly plain sailing

because you had one another?

412

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

I think it was easier for us because

413

we had each other, but the challenges

I faced were going out for meals.

414

We're not pub people, I mean, God,

we're in our 60s now, me and my husband,

415

so we're not really the pub people.

416

type people, uh, but we

417

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

418

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

out for meals.

419

I found going out for a

meal was quite challenging.

420

And I often, some places actually

do non alcoholic wine in the

421

restaurants, but very few.

422

So I would always make sure there

was a non alcoholic selection

423

in the restaurant before

424

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Mm

425

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

cook.

426

So that helped me.

427

But when I saw people, and it was

the same with my twin, Dawn, whenever

428

she saw anybody with a glass, you

know, the shape of glass for brandy.

429

with the brandy in that would kind

of set you off and think, Oh, I

430

could just do with one of those

431

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

432

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that taste that you remember.

433

And we're both the same about that.

434

Even now, I think, Oh, I

used to love them brandies.

435

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: hmm.

436

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

but that's, that's the only thing.

437

So the challenge is,

yeah, we're eating out.

438

And then my first cruise, Was very very

difficult and I took my own non alcoholic

439

wine on the ship They did actually

provide it in certain parts of the ship.

440

I could actually get it there

441

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

442

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: know

I was set then but it was early days So

443

I thought i've got to i've got to cover

all aspects here and make sure i'm going

444

to be okay and that seemed to be my well,

it was it it was my crook really to think

445

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

446

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

have an alternative that

447

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

preparation, isn't there, in those

448

early days and thinking about the

event that you're attending, whatever

449

it might be, if it's a wedding or a

cruise or a holiday, and just trying

450

to plan, well, what am I going to do

in that situation when that happens?

451

And sometimes that is just having

your own version of something.

452

Sometimes it's, well, I'm going to get

up and leave, and then I'm going to

453

leave, and then I'm going to leave.

454

But you know, whatever it might be,

but having a plan in place early days,

455

I think is a really, really good tool.

456

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah, I definitely agree with you there.

457

Yeah, definitely work out where you're

going, who you're with, what you can have.

458

I mean, if there isn't any alcohol drinks

available, I would go for a diet coke,

459

but I can only drink so much of that.

460

So I would, my plan, it would have been

to have the coke and leave whenever I

461

felt you know, that I'd had enough coke,

462

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

463

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

I agree that that's a really good idea

464

is to have a plan before you go out.

465

And if you don't feel comfortable,

I know people that haven't,

466

they've just not done it.

467

They've just not gone out.

468

They've not been able to face that

particular moment and just stayed in.

469

So yeah, I mean, that's all well and good.

470

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

471

Well, that's a plan in itself, isn't it?

472

I've spoken quite a lot with people about

this tendency that often people who drink

473

too much alcohol have is to people please

as well so Going from someone who is

474

used to people pleasing to being someone

who says, actually, do you know what?

475

I'm not going to come because

it's going to, it's going to

476

harm me in some way to come.

477

So I'm just not going to come to

that is, is quite a hard step.

478

But once you start saying no to things

that you feel don't really serve

479

you and they're not going to help

you, particularly in the early days,

480

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

481

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

somebody said, treat it like a pregnancy.

482

So protect it in that way.

483

So if you think going to this

is going to throw me off.

484

What would you do if you were pregnant?

485

You'd just, you'd probably

not go, would you?

486

So don't go.

487

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah,

488

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

it's fine.

489

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

It's true.

490

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

491

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

thing is, we didn't have a

492

problem with our friends drinking,

but I know some people do.

493

I know some people that can't

be around anyone with alcohol.

494

I didn't find that a problem at all.

495

In fact, I think that helped

me more than anything to be

496

strong and be proud of myself.

497

And I was proud, you know, I'd

go out there and think, well, I'm

498

having a, and I would loudly say,

do you have any non alcoholic stuff?

499

You know, I'm proud to say it,

but often people that don't, you

500

go on, have one, just have one.

501

Why can you not just have one?

502

You know, and you don't want to

explain over and over again, but, you

503

could even say, well, I'm driving if

you didn't want to explain yourself,

504

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

505

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

you could say, well, I'm driving, so

506

I'm not, I'm not drinking, you know.

507

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

508

Or you could say, well, if I just had

one, you'd want to see what happens.

509

It's probably not ideal.

510

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Or you could say you wouldn't

511

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

512

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

I started with one.

513

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

514

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

would be an expensive night

515

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

dear.

516

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

But I have to say that the non alcoholic

517

stuff is as dear as the, the alcohol

518

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: is.

519

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

especially in restaurants and bars.

520

And, um, like the rum, the non alcoholic

Morgan spiced rum is quite nice.

521

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Okay.

522

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

That's normally 15 pounds.

523

in supermarkets and

it's down to 10 in Asda.

524

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

okay.

525

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

just been and bought six, bottles.

526

And I said, in that case,

I've had three free.

527

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Well, there you are.

528

That's true.

529

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

me a year now.

530

If I feel like I want a little, a

little tiny tot, I'll have one of those.

531

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

We've got one of those.

532

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah,

533

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

sometimes that kind of spice, isn't it?

534

Because it's the, the burn of alcohol

that makes it taste different.

535

Isn't it?

536

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

definitely.

537

It's that ginger kick that you get

at the back of your throat, I think,

538

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, exactly.

539

Exactly.

540

Yeah.

541

Trying to replicate that to some extent.

542

Sometimes I want to, and sometimes I just

want to have something that tastes nice.

543

It's different depending on how far along

you are in the journey as well, isn't it?

544

Because.

545

And I know some people who can't

have anything that's remotely like

546

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

547

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

because it throws them.

548

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

549

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

was like you.

550

I quite liked, I used to drink

something called Naughty, which was,

551

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

bought

552

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: um,

553

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

bought some.

554

Yes.

555

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah, I liked that.

556

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that's my favorite has

557

to be the Nosecco, which

558

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

559

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now, they do a fizz, they do a white,

560

a rosé, and a red, and it was in

Morrison's, every time I go, the red is

561

gone, so it's obviously a popular one,

562

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Oh, okay.

563

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

you can get it online as well, Nosecco,

564

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Nosecco Red.

565

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

just the Prosecco, but it's not, they've

566

branded out and they're now producing

the, the wines as well, so no secco.

567

Whether you're red or white or rosé,

they do it in that as well, so that's

568

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

569

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that's one of my

570

favourites, I have to say.

571

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Well, I went through, when I was

572

a drinker, I went through . Well

this is when I was trying to work

573

out what I could drink, so one

form of moderation or another.

574

So I was like, all of a sudden, oh

no, I can't drink, anything with

575

fizz 'cause it makes me a bit crazy.

576

Then I realized, no, it's not that.

577

Okay.

578

So I won't drink any white

wine 'cause it's white wine.

579

That's what makes me crazy.

580

I'm not gonna drink white wine.

581

So that one went off the list.

582

Then it was, pink wine.

583

Yeah, no, not gonna drink that.

584

That makes me crazy.

585

Then it was red and then eventually

I was like, right, it's just alcohol.

586

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

587

Yeah.

588

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Give up.

589

But, so I would probably enjoy

all of those as replacements.

590

Actually, I'll give them a go.

591

We've got a Morrison's

not too far away, so I

592

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

they're really nice,

593

really good, good quality.

594

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

can go and have a look.

595

so since you've stopped, what are some

of the, you mentioned your granddaughter.

596

What are some of the joys that you think

have come into your life because you

597

made this decision and perhaps may not

have done had you not made this decision?

598

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Well, I can remember things the next day,

599

which is probably the best thing ever.

600

I can have a conversation the next day and

not forget what happened the night before

601

or what we watched on TV or whatever.

602

So I

603

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

604

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

wise, I mean, my age, my memory's

605

not brilliant anyway, but I

can at least recall things.

606

Um, and I'm not.

607

Fogged with with an alcohol brain and

608

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

609

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: up

refreshed and wanting to do things with

610

my life I feel more energized I look

forward to getting up in the morning and

611

now we're retired as well our holidays.

612

So

613

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

614

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

about It's about being able

615

to just do what you want.

616

I'm a little bit more, stronger in myself.

617

I feel like I'm, you know, if I want it,

you know, if I want to do something, I

618

don't, I don't really question whether

it's going to affect anybody else anymore.

619

It's more,

620

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

621

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

want to do it.

622

And that's that, you know, I feel

a bit stronger in that sense.

623

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

624

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, I'm not as groggy at all.

625

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

626

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

back and I thought, I feel fine really.

627

I'm still working and everything's okay.

628

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Mm hmm.

629

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

now, now that I've got rid of all of the

630

alcohol, I feel, I've noticed how much

brighter I am, how much better I feel.

631

and that's, you know, that's

definitely a plus point.

632

And if you guys want to look

younger, you need to ditch the

633

booze because it definitely helps.

634

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

It does.

635

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

636

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

It definitely does.

637

My skin was so much better within

quite a short amount of time.

638

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

639

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

also because when I stopped, I was sort of

640

replacing what I was doing in the evening.

641

So, I would go and do my

skincare routine when I stopped.

642

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

643

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I actually started looking

644

after my skin, whereas before I

probably fell into bed with it.

645

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

646

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

still on.

647

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

648

Yeah.

649

Yeah.

650

That's right.

651

True.

652

It's true.

653

Yeah.

654

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

I know, but also having a little

655

bit of hydration in your body

656

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

exactly.

657

Yeah.

658

No, it's, it's, it's for me and

obviously for you as well, it's

659

the best thing you've ever done.

660

I definitely can honestly say I would

never touch alcohol ever in my life.

661

and I'm fine with that.

662

I don't have a problem with that at all.

663

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: No,

664

absolutely.

665

I don't have any regret.

666

I don't ever look at someone having a

drink and think that I want to have that.

667

there are certain times of year where

I might see something and I'll get

668

that little flash where I think, oh,

and then I very quickly can correct

669

myself to, you know, that picture that

I've just had of that romanticized

670

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

671

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

in a.

672

pub garden.

673

Actually, for me, that doesn't,

that's not what that would look like.

674

So I wouldn't have one in

a pub garden and go home.

675

So I very quickly can recenter myself.

676

I loved what you said about basically

knowing yourself, you know, knowing,

677

knowing what you want to do and

having the confidence to, to do that.

678

And, you know, without any question.

679

And I think that sobriety really

has done that for me as well.

680

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

good.

681

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, I feel like, because I just

682

was so unsure of myself, I didn't

really trust myself or like myself.

683

I used to, I would sort of

question everything really.

684

Did I want to go there?

685

I wasn't very good at decision making.

686

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

687

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

thought I would get it right.

688

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: you

feel more in control, don't you, as well?

689

Definitely.

690

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah.

691

And a bit smug.

692

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Yes.

693

Oh, definitely that.

694

Yeah.

695

Yeah.

696

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

We're allowed that, aren't we?

697

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Oh, absolutely.

698

I think we've earned it.

699

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

We have exactly,

700

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

But I

701

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

exactly.

702

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

thing I just wanted to mention,

703

and it's probably not a good thing,

but I've really gone into coffee.

704

So

705

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

706

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

drinking, I never really

707

bothered with coffee.

708

Oh gosh.

709

I've really got the taste for coffee.

710

And that's the other thing.

711

My taste has changed.

712

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

713

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

yeah, definitely coffee.

714

and I don't drink, after about two, 2 p.

715

m.

716

coffee, but I definitely appreciate

the different flavors of coffee now.

717

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

718

I love my coffee.

719

I have like a little sober ladies group

and we call it our smug in the morning.

720

Our little smug of coffee.

721

Because you just get up and you know,

often like my phone's binging at like 6.

722

30 these days with my

friends who don't drink

723

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Yeah.

724

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

we're all sat there with the

725

lovely light coming up and having

a nice cup of coffee while everyone

726

else sweeps off their hangovers.

727

Particularly on a Saturday and

Sunday and it's a lovely feeling.

728

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

it is and it

729

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Sorry to all my drinking friends.

730

Oh dear.

731

Ah, well, do you know what?

732

We've, we've filled our half hour.

733

It's been really enjoyable and in a way

I'm quite glad now that our recording

734

didn't work last time because it's

been lovely talking to you again.

735

Yeah.

736

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: has

and it's great to get out there and I,

737

and I hope that of what I've said may help

other people, you know, for me, definitely

738

those alternatives, work for me.

739

There isn't really anything else that

works for me, other than the fact that

740

I've got my sister to help me, but I think

by now I could manage on my own anyway.

741

I don't desire alcohol at all now.

742

I've definitely gone past that stage,

but definitely if you can, it probably

743

will help to just have an alternative,

provided it is complete zero alcohol.

744

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah, absolutely.

745

Have a plan, have an alternative, have

some confidence, and connection is key.

746

is good if you can get it as well.

747

There's lots of other ways.

748

If you, you know, if you're not

lucky enough to have someone close to

749

you who is trying to stop drinking,

there's lots of groups out there.

750

Um, so baristas I've mentioned on

podcast before, it's brilliant.

751

Um, lots of Facebook groups, sober

society, UK,, Mike, he's been on

752

here before, and spoken about.

753

that Facebook group, which he

set up, which is brilliant.

754

There's all of the Alcohol Explained

staff, Annie Grace, Victoria Vanstone,

755

so many different, people that you

can follow and connect in that way.

756

So yeah, get some sober buddies and go

for it because life just gets better.

757

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

does.

758

Absolutely, it does.

759

Yeah.

760

Congrat,

761

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah.

762

Well, congratulations and thank you

so much for coming on the podcast.

763

Much appreciated.

764

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

to you as well.

765

'cause yours is just three

years gone, hasn't it?

766

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: Yes.

767

Three years it was on the 15th.

768

Yeah, that was really nice.

769

So I can't actually believe it if

I'm honest, but yeah, it's great.

770

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

that's another thing I would say.

771

Sorry, I've just realized that when you

get past a day and then before you know,

772

it's a week before, you know, that it's a

month and just keep saying, wow, that's a

773

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Yeah,

774

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Wow.

775

That's six months and it soon passes.

776

And before you know, it's a year.

777

And by then, I think most people

will have conquered that by then

778

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

yeah,

779

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

to their, you know, their

780

desire to stop drinking.

781

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Absolutely.

782

Celebrate every single day,

783

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Definitely.

784

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

every little milestone you hit.

785

I bought myself gifts

786

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Oh,

787

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

for the first year.

788

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

Better not tell my husband because

789

there'll be no room in the house left.

790

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032: You

could book a little holiday every time.

791

It's a little milestone.

792

Yeah,

793

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

That's it.

794

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

that's it.

795

Oh, well thank you so much.

796

It's been lovely talking to

797

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

and you, thank you so much

798

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

you, Janet,

799

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: keep

800

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

care.

801

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031:

with the podcast.

802

I think you're doing an amazing job.

803

squadcaster-e671_2_01-20-2025_170032:

Thank you.

804

Will do.

805

Bye.

806

squadcaster-3760_1_01-20-2025_170031: Bye.

807

Thank you for listening.

808

To Sabre alcohol-free stories.

809

If this episode helped you, please.

810

Please like share and follow.

811

Or leave a review on pod chaser.

812

Dot com.

813

And if you've got a story to

tell, please contact me on Sabre.

814

A F stories@outlook.com.

815

And don't forget.

816

You can make your catch phrase.

817

I don't drink.